LET'S DANCE, FUCKERS.

MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS. I'M EMPLOYED AT A BROTHEL. CHECK OUT MY LINKS AND SHIT I GUESS IF YOU WANT A BETTER IDEA OF WHAT GOES ON IN MY STUPID CORNER OF THE WORLD. trolltag: sanguinaryPaladin m!a: blind until he admits a flushcrush of his to someone (as of 3/24)

[wretchedsaviour]

The honorary that slipped from Karkat’s lips sent a shiver down his spine, and if he were in a better position to think, he would have been worried about the implications of the power behind such, but for the most part, he was more concerned about the fact that it was actually growing painful to deny himself any longer.  It took an exceeding amount of willpower, but he was able to pull himself away, fingers slipping from the smaller troll and brushing along the edges of  his nook before moving to untangle his bulge from the other’s.

“Move.”  The word was quiet, almost ragged with the effort it took to even speak, and he couldn’t help the sound of disappointment that escaped his throat as he urged the smaller troll above him, guiding him into a more suitable position.  Praise dripped from his lips unconsiously as he mumbled into Karkat’s shoulder, exalting the other for being so good, for how compliant he was, for every perfection that the Signless’ thinkpan could summon. It was impossible to stifle the shaky exhale that tore from his throat as he slowly buried himself into the other, his hands braced upon Karkat’s sides in order to steady him.  Perhaps he should have been a bit more careful, but the heat and pressure about his bulge was effective at robbing him of higher thought.  He was composed enough to stop himself from merely taking his pleasure thoughtlessly, but oh the temptation was there.    “Good child, such a good child, yes, you’re doing so well Karkat, tell me how it feels, I want to know.”

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat couldn't even worry about the consequences of his actions right now, much less anything he might say while under the influence of this absolutely fucking intoxicating situation. God, he - he would have done anything, right now, absolutely anything asked of him to keep feeling like this, if not better. Whimsical. It was fucking whimsical.

A shuddering gasp was heard as the fingers left, Karkat actually whining - no, bring them back, put them back - And he shivered at the delicate touches, lowering his head to Sign's shoulder again to cope. Nnh.

O-oh - commanded he panicked for a moment, not knowing exactly what he was supposed to - right, okay, right - shakily, he stood up on his knees a little at the gentle urgings from his elder, breathing erratic. The praise made his pan reel and he whimpered, chills racing through him and exciting every part of his body. God fucking dammit.

"Hhhhofucking fuck-" Dear lord it was almost more than he could take, a deliciously dull pain rocketing through him from his nook. Fingertips and claws dug into Sign's shoulders as his back arched, hissing broken curse words into the air. Jesus fuck, more praise - he shook his head, panting, trying to form words. "Ffff....fffucking g-great. You're great. God, I -" It really had been too long.

[profoundlytriggered]

An interesting reaction, and one that he certainly hadn’t expected in the slightest.  Thankfully, his expression remained one of neutrality, ignoring the stubborn tint of red high upon his cheeks, though admittedly, Karkat wouldn not have been able to see in the first place, so even if Kankri had expressed the intense shock that shot through his pan, his secret was blessedly safe.  

He was uncharacteristically quiet as the younger Vantas spoke, eyes glued to his dancestor’s face, watching hawk-like for any indication of sarcasm or cynicism.  None was to be found, which set a heavy weight within his chest.  He was hard pressed to remember a time when someone formally apologized to him; actually apologized, for that matter, without any sort of stinging, off-hand remarks to negate any sincerity.  It was…mildly overwhelming, and he closed his eyes, trying to focus on keeping his breathing steady.  There was something about the confession, as innocent as it was presented, that threatened to close his throat and rob him of his voice, and he hated it.  Hated the feeling of smallness and the sense of being overwhelmed that the words brought.

When he was able to find his voice again, he cleared his throat quietly, chasing away any hitches that threatened to invade his speech.  “You need not apologize, I am quite used to…individuals excusing themselves from my presence.  I am sure that your time was precious and that there were many important things you needed to attend to.”

A blatant lie, and his voice threatened to waver, but he clenched his jaw.  He wasn’t an idiot, he was perfectly aware of excuses and stories that others presented in order to avoid him, though the knowledge didn’t make the execution any easier to bare.  Still, he would diligently wait for the other party to return, but there was only so long that a single troll, dead or alive, could stand before exhaustion overtook.  He had merely accepted the avoidance as a part of life, hardened himself against it, even if it stung dully every time.

[sanguinarypaladin]

"No, stop -" Karkat shook his head, reaching out again to touch him, to stop him from what he was saying. Hand bumped his chest and he groped for his shoulder, still squeezing the hand he felt. "No. You don't -"  This was frustrating as all hell, and Karkat couldn't stand it. "That's the point I'm trying to make. My time wasn't precious. I do need to apologize. Because I know no one else will. You can't -" How did he say this? "...you sound like me."

The hand shriveled from his shoulder, finding a nervous home in his lap. He worried his bottom lip, refusing to face his signshare. "Making excuses when people leave or don't want to talk to you." His voice was shaking. He tried to sound brave... but really, this is all stuff he thought about himself, and admitting it was rather... disquieting. "It's never their fault, is it? They're busy, they had better things to do. You never want to question it on the off chance they aren't lying - but you know they are." He took a shaking breath. "You can feel it. Because it's in your... your blood. And it hurts but you say nothing because they'll come back, they always come back - and if you argue it might be the last time you see them."

He swallowed. "I do need to apologize. Because I avoided you. I lied to you. And I knew you knew but I did it anyway because..." Because...? "Because it hurt to watch you be exactly like me and suffer the same fate." Free hand rubbed over his eyes. This was tiring and made him feel like shit but there it was. "So. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Kankri. And if the next fucking words out of your mouth aren't 'apology accepted' I will storm out of here and probably run into three walls in the process and then won't you feel bad."

[wretchedsaviour]

Perhaps the most curious thing, above everything else that obviously was questionable about the entire situation, was the fact that the body upon his lap was so warm.  Willingness and desire aside, it was so profoundly strange to feel heat radiating beneath his hands, to feel the slick warmth as he worked his fingers deeper into the younger troll.  If things had been any less frantic, he would have marveled at the sensation, for surely it was something that he had never encountered before; even his beloved had been cooler beneath his palms, despite how enthusiastic she had been.

A sharp pain in his scalp effectively distracted him, however, and he jerked, hips bucking up and a low, molten groan slipping from his tongue, muffled only by the side of Karkat’s neck.  His bulge pulsed, coiling about the other’s with more urgency, but still he held himself back.  While certainly he was beyond the point of removing himself, there was no excuse for proceeding too quickly and running the risk of hurting the smaller form before him.  Urgency was one thing, cruelty another.

But he would be damned if the younger troll wasn’t making things exceedingly difficult.  Slim fingers curled around his arm, and the noises that were escaping the other only served to wear his patience even more ragged.  A flick of his wrist, and perhaps his movements were less careful than they should have been, but he wanted to hear more, wanted to see the emotions flit across the other’s face, if only for the sheer fact that it had been so long since he had witnessed such.  It was nigh intoxicating, if he were one for clichés, and though he pulled back so that he could keep his gaze upon the other, his movements didn’t cease.  “Only when you’re ready, little one.  Not before then.”

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat could have wondered about similar things if he wasn't so absorbed in writhing there atop him; everywhere he was touched made hotter. He was too convinced it was his own skin alive with fire, hypersensitive to everything that was given. But it wasn't enough. He'd feel pathetic later, for a multitude of reasons; first of all the breakdown which had been completely uncalled for. Secondly propositioning whom he was told to be the Signless. And then... well, fuck. Acting like such a whore.

"F-fuckshit-" The buck jostled him and sent sparks down his spine, his own sound mostly covering up the one Sign made. God, this was so fucking hot - the inability to see making everything a surprise to him. From where his company's head was and where his moans would be muffled next, to his stray hand that was holding him still at the small of his back. Not to mention the bulge curling with his own, making him squirm and write even more. Jesus fuck. He could finish like this, it was so overwhelming.

But he held out, swallowing a gasp, gripping that arm like his life depended on it. Back arched suddenly at the flick, the hand in Sign's hair twitched as it disengaged from the locks, sliding to the nape of his neck. He'd... do less damage there. Face took on a helpless look, shaking his head at the words. "Nnh- n-no, c'mon - n-now, p-please, ffffffuck-" This was anything but fair. Karkat leaned forward, trembling as he panted into Sign's chest. "I n-need it, sir, please..."

[sanguinarypaladin]

i know no one cares about this blog anymore but i've just gotta say the most recent update with karkat talking to meenah makes me feel a million times better about how i portray karkat that is all

[profoundlytriggered]

The tension in the air was nearly palatable, and Kankri was entirely unsure as to how to deal with it.  It was awkward, uncomfortable, and while he would never admit it, he might have been  enjoying the closeness…just a bit.  Despite the anxiety that came with being so intimately close to another person, there had been a sense of right that had been buried under all of the frayed nerves and discomfort.  Strange and ultimately terrifying, if he was to admit it to himself.

He shifted slightly, willing the heat and color from his cheeks, but still not relinquishing his grip upon his dancestor’s hand.  Really, it was entirely unprofessional, not to mention a conflict of interest, to be so familiar and friendly with someone he was supposed to be educating but…perhaps it was the safety guaranteed by the fact that Karkat himself couldn’t physically see him, but he found himself far more willing to take risks.

"If you need time to yourself, please do not hesitate to let me know."  The words were quiet, "I would not wish to make you uncomfortable with my prolonged presence."

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat too was enjoying the closeness; still forever-miffed he couldn't see anything, but it was an intense comfort that Kankri was still willing to hold his hand, still willing to stick around - even after Karkat (most assuredly) freaked him out with the face touching. He couldn't help it. He was just so... unbelievably lonely and bored like this. Nothing happened. Few came to see him. This was rare quiet-and-company time, and Karkat really... loved it.

He squeezed Kankri's hand, but looked over instantly as he spoke. "N-no." He shook his head slowly. If he were being frank, all time was alone time. "No, you... you're fine. I want you here." Head turned away, and he sighed something in a mumble. No, that wasn't fair. Kan couldn't hear him. He cleared his throat, swallowed, and spoke again.

"I know, uh... in the past. I've given you reason to believe that your 'prolonged presence' was... a problem. And don't get me wrong, sometimes it still is." Little face was made, but he continued. "But... Everything, today especially. You're an undeniably good troll. I take back everything I ever said about you, to your face and not to your face." Ohkay Karkat, you were getting a little weird. Maybe it was time for a nap.

"And I'm... sorry. For hiding from you, back then. And not appreciating what you were trying to do for me. I thought that there were more important things to do." He shook his head slowly. "There really weren't."

[vidarianvivisepulture]

Kurloz snickered, not much bothered by what he figured was a sudden bout of pessimism. Sometimes people could just act that way around him, or rather, that’s what he’d become accustomed to. It was hard being an almost seven foot motherfucker with the insane-ass horns.

Although he was unaware this was likely a normal thing for the mutant-blooded troll. 

“Yes, mon cheri, I lost a bet. Now you’ve gotta chain dis motherfucker ta ah crucifix an’ put a crown uh thorns ‘pon ma head, dancin’ in blood right afterwards. Tha coffee pourin’ can be a good bit uh salt on tha wound so ta speak.” Kurloz laughed lightheartedly following his macabre sarcasm before he cut himself off, “But no, I happen ta be kinda nomad-esque.”

The highblood wiggled his fingers at the empty air with the most serious expression. He continued to follow after Karkat.

"I’m tha sort ta run ‘round tha world, give everythang ah chance an’ go by any experience. I find wisdom in tha oddest places, an’ I’m as much a collector uh tales as I’m a fanatic fo’ jokes."

He paused for a second, considering his words.

"Why, do ya value ya company lesser den dat of others? I have ta say, befo’ first impressions’ made in person, all company has equivalent value. Perhaps das jus’ how I motherfuckin’ perceive it." Kurloz shrugged.

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat rolled his eyes at the little tirade, mumbling something about making fun of a blind person. He just never expected people to come see him of their own volition. This was no different.

He made it to the coffee maker in the lounge and set about brewing some up, only missing things a few times. He'd done this before, at least. The pouring is what always tripped him up. While it was set to brew, he turned around to lean against the counter, folding his arms.

"I guess that would be a question someone like you would ask, huh?" Absently, he picked at the sleeve of his shirt. "You Beforans aren't really one for the caste system. I always forget that." He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "I just don't ever think people want to see me. I mean, Alternian culture says I'm a useless piece of shit, amplified tenthfold by the fact I can't see. I've never felt otherwise, so hey." He shrugged. "What's there to change my mind now? I'm not magically going to get a blood transfusion to be at least moderately fucking acceptable, and who knows if I'll ever be able to see again." Chin lowered a little, and he sighed. "I've never been given a reason to think differently." His only friend was Kankri, and sometimes the Kurloz of the brothel, too. Another mutant and a Beforan highblood. He was on such a roll.

[wretchedsaviour]

It was good that the smaller troll recognized the actual implications of the Signless’ words, but his response did little for the effect that the elder had intended.  Instead of agreeing, instead of garnering a sense of self-protection, it seemed that the troll upon his lap was only emboldened, and the thin threads of self-control that he had been desperately clinging to finally broke.

The sensation of fingers within his hair went almost unnoticed as he groaned against the flesh beneath his lips, the noise strangled and unrestrained.  How long had it been since he had been so close to another?  Far too long, it seemed, because the sensation of skin against skin was electric and searing, despite how infrequent it was.  The body beneath his hands was pliant, burning warm, and his breath came in short pants at the sensation of a bulge curling about his own.

“Such a good child.”  The words slipped from his lips, even as he dragged his tongue up the side of Karkat’s neck.  Inhaling shakily, he reached down between the other’s legs, fingertips skirting about the entrance to his nook, pressing in slowly, a shudder running down his spine at the sensation.

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat just never learned, it seemed. Pity. If it kept getting him into situations like this, though, he might never learn his lesson.

His neck tingled where Sign groaned into it, the sensation (and sound) pulling one of Karkat's own whimpers, fingers tightening in his hair. He did this to someone. He made someone... want him. Made someone want him so bad they acted like this. Neither being blind nor a mutant could take away the satisfaction he felt from that.

"O-oh god," he whimpered softly at the words, a chill running down the back of his spine as he heard them. Praise. As if from the mouths of angels themselves. He was a good child. He was a very good child. Compounded with the tongue on his neck, Karkat wasn't sure if - "F-fuck, fffffuck-" The hand pulled the hair he held on complete accident, the smaller troll craning his neck back and doing all he could to keep from grabbing Sign's hand and making him do more. More, faster, he wanted all of it. Fuck, Karkat had been barren for a long time too - not nearly as long as his elder signshare, of course, but it'd been... a while. He barely remembered what it felt like to be fingered. 

Breaths stammered into his company's ear, Karkat attempting to make some form of coherent words. It wasn't working; all he kept doing was whimpering and gasping, the hold his other hand had now on Sign's bicep tightening and loosening with every shudder that tore through him. "P-please... m-more," he breathed. Pliant indeed. He'd do anything. If this was just fingers, Karkat was going to lose it at anything else.

[profoundlytriggered]

While permission may have been granted, the idea of having someone touching him, even in such a non-suggestive manner, was more than a bit disconcerting.  This was his signshare, this was Karkat, but somehow that knowledge did not seem to asuege any of the nervous prickling in his stomach, and so Kankri merely grit his teeth and closed his eyes, waiting for the subtle pressure of skin upon skin.

It came not shortly after, and it was just as surprising as he would have imagined.  The brush of fingers against the curves of his face was light, tentative, and while it was still flesh upon flesh, there was something oddly intimate about it, which did nothing to calm his worries.  Though there was innocence in the touch, it still felt….he wasn’t even sure of the proper wording for it.  Invasive?  No, certainly not.  Frightening?  Closer. It was a sensation of being laid bare; though he could keep his tone uninterested, he could present with defensive body language, there was no way to hide, to protect himself, when someone was this close. 

It was certainly far more than he was ever used to dealing with.

The other’s hand came to rest upon his cheek, and he could feel himself color, heat flooding his face at the simple gesture.  Touch took away his ability to lie, and certainly lying was a defense that he had perfected eons ago, despite his preaching against such actions.  The touch was removed, however, and he began to try to compose himself, looking determinedly down at the bed.  A hand on his again prompted a short glance over, but he resolved himself from meeting Karkat’s empty gaze for as long as he could.  “You need not apologize, though I do appreciate the sentiment.”

[sanguinarypaladin]

All Karkat wanted... was to be close to someone. Not even necessarily Kankri. But everyone else he had was gone, and this was his last hope - the last thing he had before he had nothing. He wanted nothing more than to at least... get past some of the awkwardness between them. The blindness seemed to help, as much as that fucking sucked - and hey, he'd voluntarily held Karkat's hand and was letting him still. They were small, but they were starts.

He let out a long breath, not knowing what to say or do anymore. Which was troublesome - he desperately didn't want him to leave, to leave Karkat alone and literally in the dark. He shifted a little anxiously, trying to think of something to say or do. ...he came up short, and ended up squeezing his hand again and sighing. "...uh." No no nonono no no. Now what? Actually, he felt a bit exhausted. But sleep would mean cutting their time short and just. Whine.

[wretchedsaviour]

“You shouldn’t say such things,” came the response, his breath ragged and tone strained, “giving such permission is liable to put you precarious situations.”

Like the current, his mind helpfully reminded him, even as a traitorous noise escaped from his throat.  In an effort to try to at least regain control of everything, he stilled his hands, trying to focus on his breathing, to distract himself from the feel of warm skin beneath his finger, of the weight of another body upon his lap, from every small hitch of the other’s breath that tried every last bit of his will. 

It was a difficult decision, and one that laid heavily on his conscience; a slight shifting left him determinedly biting down on his tongue to catch a gasp that threatened to leave his lips.  There was no way, it would be impossible to walk away now, even if it was detrimental.  He was a horrible troll, he was sure of that, but as his touch moved lower again, he buried his head in the crux between Karkat’s neck and shoulder, urging him to sit up further. 

There was another quiet apology as he worked at the fastening of his pants, unable to hide the shudder that ran down his spine as his aching bulge was freed.  A momentary flash of guilt rushed through him, but he fought it back, hand moving to the other troll’s lower back to urge him forward, rutting up against him. 

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat's whole life was a series of precarious situations, each more stupid than the last. But right now, all that mattered was the communication that he was so ready for this, and nothing would make him back down. "I'm not backing down," he mumbled. "I trust you." 

  The littler troll heard every noise that was made, smiling faintly in response to them. That. He did that. Karkat made him feel that way. He wasn't going to help Sign feel any less inclined to do things to him, either - not with how he rolled his hips a little, not with how he urged him on with his words. But he was still bad at controlling his own little things - he couldn't lift his head, still reeling from the fact that the touch and pressure on his bulge was gone. 

Shuddering little 'nn-nnh' was heard as Sign's head was on his shoulder, Karkat whimpering as he was brought up into a proper sit. His ears keenly tuned in on the sound of shuffling fabric(and the apology), Karkat taking in a breath. Unparalleled excitement sent a chill through him. He could smell it. And oh, the pressure on his lower back was delicious in and of itself, the feeling of his elder's bulge on his notwithstanding. He whimpered, back arching against him, his breath heavy into the Signless' hair; a hand curling into the back of it.

[wretchedsaviour]

.The noises were enough to spur him on, fingers working gently about the other’s bulge, even as he followed the kisses, catching Karkat’s lower lip between his teeth in order to keep him in place.  He did not press, however, when the smaller troll shied away, curling within his lap, shaking.  There was momentary concern, and the Signless withdrew his hand, worry written into the furrowing of his brows as he pulled back to observe if the figure in his lap was actually alright.  Again he cursed his own forwardness, entirely aware that he was dealing with a delicate situation and that he had allowed himself too much indulgence. 

His free hand moved, fingers curling gently around Karkat’s wrist, pulling his hand away from his face.  Leaning in, he gently swiped his tongue along the beading crimson upon the other’s lip, drawing it away, putting the sharp taste out of mind.  Resting his hand upon the other’s hip, he fell silent for a bit, merely observing the movements and changes in the other’s expression, trying to find any hint of distress, beyond what he had originally thought that he had observed.  The ache engendered between his legs was almost painful, but he merely inhaled slowly, trying to put it out of pan in order to focus on more important matters.

“Do not apologize.”  The words were quiet, breathy, and though he did try to retain his concerned air, there was an undertone of interest that went far beyond mere innocent inquiry.  Swallowing hard, he willed himself to keep his touch chaste.  “You have no reason to, I should be the one begging forgiveness for pushing so…suddenly, despite your comfort level.”

[sanguinarypaladin]

Karkat did his best to recuperate, but when he felt the hand leave he looked up in his direction in a wave of concern. Shit. Had he done something wrong? Had he said something offensive on accident against his knowledge? He was pretty entranced, so he couldn't rule it out.

This was entirely surreal. The thought resurfaced and if he hadn't been so concerned about Sign stopping he would have laughed. But this was urgent - the touches stopped, things stilled; amongst his own heavy breathing he could hear the Signless', as well as his restraint. That, perhaps amongst everything else, was the most impressive. (Or maybe it wasn't and he just didn't want Karkat. Welp.)

But - what? Apologizing to him? That was just stupid. He shook his head earnestly, hands moving from Sign's shoulders to his neck, then up his face again. Feeling, mapping out. "No," he urged, leaning forward, scooting forward, wanting as much of his touch as he could get. "F-fuck my comfort level. It doesn't exist. It doesn't matter. J-just-" He kissed him again, missing a little but correcting his aim and sighing against him. "Do whatever you want to me. Please." He wanted... to maybe have the feeling that someone would be excited to have freedom with him. 

[leekils-deactivated20180406]

all my Karkats are sad.

[vidarianvivisepulture]

Kurloz stayed still for a second. For the most part, this was an observation, and he really couldn’t help but take in the detail of the moment. He did expect someone blind, although he hadn’t had much experience in-person with blind people as of current.

At most there was the occasional victim who lost their eyes. But they surely were no people who had to live much longer, so as it goes, he had no idea how the living went about their days as such.

He could at least stifle the small chuckle about the coffee incident, so he went right for poking Karkat’s palm with a finger as he extended his hand. He’s glad he wasn’t manically sewn up like he’d found himself on and off in the past.

"I s’pose dat can git kinda difficult, huh?" Kurloz began, "It’s nice ta meet ya monsieur. Hadn’t thought of tha venue admittedly enough, but good times roll any which motherfucking way, hm? Now is tha coffee a promise, ‘cause I could be one down clown fo’ dark ecstasy in da day as it is."

[sanguinarypaladin]

"Ack-" Hand pulled back, shaking it out a bit at the poke, pulling it in towards himself and rubbing the palm. What a weird feeling. 

Even weirder was the voice; he hadn't been expecting it. From all his encounters with Kurlozes (which, strangely, had numbered in the 'many' for some reason) they didn't talk. Welp.

"Y-yeah... it's been tough." The talk of the brothel, even with how used to it he'd gotten, still made him blush a little in shame. He'd never get over that. Oh. Coffee. "I can make it for the most part, but unless you'd like a steaming cup of it poured all down your front I'd highly suggest serving it to yourself." Taking a moment to collect his bearings, he headed towards the lounge, gesturing for his guest to follow.

Curiosity strikes at odd times.

"Any particular reason you wanted to hold the company of a blind mutant or did you lose a bet or something?" Ever-optimistic, Karkat was.

[crwnly-deactivated20150506]

he used to be a lovely boy

[q-dormir]

He liked him a lot.

[turretserenade]

Well this sure is a thing I didn’t actually have time to be working on.

[vootox]

(X) 

[vidarianvivisepulture]

He hovers over in one end of the brothel. He hadn’t actually come to the realization that the troll he’d talked with was living here. Or perhaps he’d presumed they’d be adventurous in their first meet. The highblood still hadn’t come to the conclusion that Karkat was actually working here.

He proceeded walking about, looking around until he approached the front desk quietly. 

[sanguinarypaladin]

Ears picked up the faint sound of footsteps, Karkat turning in the direction from which they'd came from.

"I know someone's there, save us both the embarrassment and just come forward already." Reaching out, he held his hand at about waist-level, hoping it was the person he'd invited and not some dangerous stranger.

"I'm Karkat. I wish I could be more hospitable but the last time I offered coffee to someone like this it ended up all over the both of us." That'd been embarrassing. "I can barely fucking feed myself but hey. At least I can walk around without tripping or running into things. I've got the layout of this building mostly committed to memory now."