occam's razor

Independent, canon divergent Spades Slick RP/ask blog. mun is 18+ | M!A: none

[sanguinesycophant]

((Mun will be AFK for a few days, just a heads up!))

[animatedtext]

[pinkdemonade]

[disquitude]

sanguinesycophant:

Spades gives a weak cheer, the smile it brings wrenched back into a grimace as the second bullet is pulled free, though he doesn’t make a sound this time.  “I knoooow, I know, I’m an idiot, blah blah blah.” He grumbles halfheartedly. “You kept saying we needed Intel and and I was tired of waiting. Things jus’ happened, alright?”

  Spades Slick is a good boss; there’s no doubt about it in Droog’s mind. But sometimes the guy can end up doing things… like this one. The carapacian sighs. “Things can’t just happen, Spades. We needed the intel, but as I said – we’re a team. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d had us to back you up.”

  Ugh. Whatever. He focuses on patching up his wounds, next. “Let me know next time, before doing anything like this. Y’could end up gettin’ yourself killed, if you’re not careful enough.” They don’t need a dead Crew member, do they?

[sanguinesycophant]

“Fine, whatever.” By the tone, it’s obvious he’s not going to think about it for longer than a second. “We can make it a goddamn field trip, you gonna make Hearts bring sandwiches an’ everything?” The laugh he’d broken into trailed off, falling forward as he begins to drift. He catches himself after a second but Spades looks groggy, blinking lazily.

[rpsourcedmemes]

Send 😞 for a sad drabble

[granatejefe]

@sanguinesycophant started following you

The fuck are you?

[granatejefe]

“Oh? Is this implying you went to the bank and didn’t steal anything from it? What kind of criminal are you? I almost thought you were smart.” He gives the other a condencending smirk.

[sanguinesycophant]

"I'm implying I didn't go to the stupid goddamn bank just like I said I did, that was intended as literal. Here I was thinking you might not be a moron. " He smirks. "Huh, I guess the difference is pretty clear."

[granatejefe]

@sanguinesycophant started following you

The fuck are you?

[sanguinesycophant]

Slick looks almost disgusted at the weird tan coloured being in front of him, poking it right in the chest.  “The fuck are YOU? You’re not a carapace, you’re definitely not Felt–” That’s when he spots the tri-corner hat and starts laughing. “Oh man, what the fuck! What kind of sick joke are you supposed to be, is this some alien cosplay thing? You ain’t Crowbar.” Crowbar is definitely not that colour, nor does he have the hair Slick can see poking out from this weird fuck’s hat. He knows those prospitan girls he sees Problem hang out with have hair, but not this shade. He’s about to demand answers when he looks around, not seeing the familiar dark buildings and ashen skyline of his Midnight City. We’re not in Kansas anymore. He flicks out the seven of spades, holding the blade in prime position to slice underneath this fucker’s ribs. He’s guessing anyways, but these things seem squishy enough to bleed real good.

[granatejefe]

Crowbar uses his crowbar to grab the other’s knife arm and twist it up and away from his person. His face looks mildly mocking neutral, but his actions are filled with a surprising amount of rage.

“And you seem to have very little experience with alternative timelines, little Spades. How ever did you even get here?” A spark of interest catches his eyes as he tightens his hold on the gun that’s held in his other hand.

[sanguinesycophant]

Spades is totally going to blame some timeline fuckery on the fact he’s disarmed so quickly, but honestly he just underestimated the guy. “No shit. I’ve met me, that was weird enough for one lifetime so forgive me if I’m less than thrilled to make your goddamn acquaintance. Asshole.” He considers drawing another card but decides against it for the moment, though the ace of spades is sitting in his palm, remaining a card as all cards should. “Last thing I remember is some bullshit with… huh?” He seems to think at this, but comes up empty. “Fuck. Timeline. Bullshit.”

[granatejefe]

“Aw, I’m your acquaintance now? I feel so touched.” Crowbar mutters playfully.

As the other tries to remember, Crowbar frowns. “Do you at least remember the last person you killed?”

[sanguinesycophant]

“I was being sarcastic, moron.” Spades says with venom.  “What are you anyways?” Another few jabs with his finger. “Fuckin’ easy to kill, looks like. Wanna test out a theory?” He laughs, flashes of too-sharp teeth and blank eyes that somehow show an intent that makes it hit less like a joke and more like a threat. “Course I do, I’m not Deuce. Made a stop over at the city attorney’s place to do some convincin’, she’d been gettin’ all ‘moral righteousneous’ over a stupid bank. I didn’t even burn it down this time and suddenly the Crew were a public menace, as if we weren’t before.”

[granatejefe]

Crowbar is patient enough to not break Spades hand right there and then. “In my defense, I’m more sturdy then my leprechaun counterparts, so if I’m not already dead, then I highly doubt you can kill me. As for the bank, just, wow. I’m dissapointed in you. You, of all people, missing the opportunity to cause arson? What a true shame.” He shakes his head.

[sanguinesycophant]

“Almost got me wanting to prove you wrong, but I’ll play nice for now.” The words ‘for now’ are emphasized by a grin that hardly conveys *playing nice.*  Then this goddamn knock off-Crowbar has to go and piss him off on purpose. He huffs, expression indignant at the suggestion. “What, so now it’s a good idea for a buncha cash to burn for no good reason? I’m not fucking stupid, woulda stolen the green and then burned the bank.”

[granatejefe]

@sanguinesycophant started following you

The fuck are you?

[sanguinesycophant]

Slick looks almost disgusted at the weird tan coloured being in front of him, poking it right in the chest.  “The fuck are YOU? You’re not a carapace, you’re definitely not Felt–” That’s when he spots the tri-corner hat and starts laughing. “Oh man, what the fuck! What kind of sick joke are you supposed to be, is this some alien cosplay thing? You ain’t Crowbar.” Crowbar is definitely not that colour, nor does he have the hair Slick can see poking out from this weird fuck’s hat. He knows those prospitan girls he sees Problem hang out with have hair, but not this shade. He’s about to demand answers when he looks around, not seeing the familiar dark buildings and ashen skyline of his Midnight City. We’re not in Kansas anymore. He flicks out the seven of spades, holding the blade in prime position to slice underneath this fucker’s ribs. He’s guessing anyways, but these things seem squishy enough to bleed real good.

[granatejefe]

Crowbar uses his crowbar to grab the other’s knife arm and twist it up and away from his person. His face looks mildly mocking neutral, but his actions are filled with a surprising amount of rage.

“And you seem to have very little experience with alternative timelines, little Spades. How ever did you even get here?” A spark of interest catches his eyes as he tightens his hold on the gun that’s held in his other hand.

[sanguinesycophant]

Spades is totally going to blame some timeline fuckery on the fact he’s disarmed so quickly, but honestly he just underestimated the guy. “No shit. I’ve met me, that was weird enough for one lifetime so forgive me if I’m less than thrilled to make your goddamn acquaintance. Asshole.” He considers drawing another card but decides against it for the moment, though the ace of spades is sitting in his palm, remaining a card as all cards should. “Last thing I remember is some bullshit with… huh?” He seems to think at this, but comes up empty. “Fuck. Timeline. Bullshit.”

[granatejefe]

“Aw, I’m your acquaintance now? I feel so touched.” Crowbar mutters playfully.

As the other tries to remember, Crowbar frowns. “Do you at least remember the last person you killed?”

[sanguinesycophant]

“I was being sarcastic, moron.” Spades says with venom.  “What are you anyways?” Another few jabs with his finger. “Fuckin’ easy to kill, looks like. Wanna test out a theory?” He laughs, flashes of too-sharp teeth and blank eyes that somehow show an intent that makes it hit less like a joke and more like a threat. “Course I do, I’m not Deuce. Made a stop over at the city attorney's place to do some convincin’, she’d been gettin’ all ‘moral righteousneous’ over a stupid bank. I didn’t even burn it down this time and suddenly the Crew were a public menace, as if we weren’t before.”

[granatejefe]

@sanguinesycophant started following you

The fuck are you?

[sanguinesycophant]

Slick looks almost disgusted at the weird tan coloured being in front of him, poking it right in the chest.  “The fuck are YOU? You’re not a carapace, you’re definitely not Felt–” That’s when he spots the tri-corner hat and starts laughing. “Oh man, what the fuck! What kind of sick joke are you supposed to be, is this some alien cosplay thing? You ain’t Crowbar.” Crowbar is definitely not that colour, nor does he have the hair Slick can see poking out from this weird fuck’s hat. He knows those prospitan girls he sees Problem hang out with have hair, but not this shade. He’s about to demand answers when he looks around, not seeing the familiar dark buildings and ashen skyline of his Midnight City. We’re not in Kansas anymore. He flicks out the seven of spades, holding the blade in prime position to slice underneath this fucker’s ribs. He’s guessing anyways, but these things seem squishy enough to bleed real good.

[granatejefe]

Crowbar uses his crowbar to grab the other’s knife arm and twist it up and away from his person. His face looks mildly mocking neutral, but his actions are filled with a surprising amount of rage.

“And you seem to have very little experience with alternative timelines, little Spades. How ever did you even get here?” A spark of interest catches his eyes as he tightens his hold on the gun that’s held in his other hand.

[sanguinesycophant]

Spades is totally going to blame some timeline fuckery on the fact he’s disarmed so quickly, but honestly he just underestimated the guy. “No shit. I’ve met me, that was weird enough for one lifetime so forgive me if I’m less than thrilled to make your goddamn acquaintance. Asshole.” He considers drawing another card but decides against it for the moment, though the ace of spades is sitting in his palm, remaining a card as all cards should. “Last thing I remember is some bullshit with... huh?” He seems to think at this, but comes up empty. “Fuck. Timeline. Bullshit.”

[granatejefe]

@sanguinesycophant started following you

The fuck are you?

[sanguinesycophant]

Slick looks almost disgusted at the weird tan coloured being in front of him, poking it right in the chest.  “The fuck are YOU? You’re not a carapace, you’re definitely not Felt--” That’s when he spots the tri-corner hat and starts laughing. “Oh man, what the fuck! What kind of sick joke are you supposed to be, is this some alien cosplay thing? You ain’t Crowbar.” Crowbar is definitely not that colour, nor does he have the hair Slick can see poking out from this weird fuck’s hat. He knows those prospitan girls he sees Problem hang out with have hair, but not this shade. He’s about to demand answers when he looks around, not seeing the familiar dark buildings and ashen skyline of his Midnight City. We’re not in Kansas anymore. He flicks out the seven of spades, holding the blade in prime position to slice underneath this fucker’s ribs. He’s guessing anyways, but these things seem squishy enough to bleed real good.

[sanguinesycophant]

What are your thoughts about frogs?

Which ones? Wait-

[sanguinesycophant]

What's your recent problem you had to face up? How did you solve it?

[sanguinesycophant]

How you doing fucker

Peachy.

[cora--barre]

wayward ;           DIFFICULT TO CONTROL OR PREDICT BECAUSE OF REBELLIOUS BEHAVIOUR

[disquitude]

sanguinesycophant:

He eyes the tweezers warily. Wasn’t exactly excited for this part. “Was gonna rough em’ up a little, teach ‘em who’s bo– fuck!” Spades snaps his mouth shut to muffle the pained sound he makes as the bullet comes free. “Really could use that booze.” He mutters mostly to himself. “Two blocks from the harbor, found out their cover is a goddamn burger joint. Lame as shit, but it’s close enough that they can hightail it with our fucking stuff.”

  Oh. Time to be more careful. “Y’can have all the booze you want, later.” For now, he’d rather have Spades awake and aware of what’s going on, just in case. The guy’s lost a lot of blood, after all. He hums as he works on removing the second bullet from his body, making sure to be more mindful of the other’s pain.

  He hums in acknowledgement, eyes focused on the task at hand. “You should’ve talked to us first. Was stupid of you to dive right in without saying anything. We’re a team, Spades.” A little clink as the bullet is dropped in the sink too. He uses some more gauze to dry up the wound and be able to take a better look at it, to close it up accordingly.

[sanguinesycophant]

Spades gives a weak cheer, the smile it brings wrenched back into a grimace as the second bullet is pulled free, though he doesn’t make a sound this time.  “I knoooow, I know, I’m an idiot, blah blah blah.” He grumbles halfheartedly. “You kept saying we needed Intel and and I was tired of waiting. Things jus’ happened, alright?”

[eviefyres]

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2

over a year ago, i made this meme & since then, it’s blown up. so, over a year later — i thought i would make a new one. so here it is, after several requests & a pile of brains,  THE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2

send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other .

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other .

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other .

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other .

[malfoytrash-blog]

   Oɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴜɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ        ғʀᴏᴍ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇss﹐        ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ·ᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ                                      ᴏʀ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡs                                    ᴡɪʟʟ sᴡᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ.

                                  I ᴛ ·ʟ  ʟ   ᴄ ᴀ ᴛ ᴄ ʜ    ᴜ ᴘ ﹐ &                                             ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ·ᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴏɢɴɪᴢᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ                                        ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ·s ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.