Sanity's Gasp

Poetry found me

[thecalminside]

When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.

Adyashanti (via thecalminside)

[sanitysgasp]

Transitions

My journey has changed and become different. The difference lies in how the moon looks at me. In the way the gravel feels against my feet, and the way I interact with the deepest parts of me. I’m no longer naive, no longer green, no longer confused about what energies do to me. I’m aware. I’m aware and I crave freedom the way intellects crave knowledge. I crave knowledge with a base in truth opposed to facts. I’m an alignment seeking, over thinking, over lover… an empath on a forever path wanting others to join me while still finding peace in my solice. This would not have been me last year.. my journey is different. It has changed. I have changed.

[sanitysgasp]

Panic Attack

I woke up this morning to my soul exploding. Throat dry from the panting that ensues when you're running for your life, I began gagging on past memories and fear of the future. Once before when my mind ran away I ran away with it. Chased it into a quiet place, slowed the world down, smelled the coffee, and waited to the serenity of a sunset days on end. I now rage against the moon.. fighting my brain to be in tune with what it's preoccupied & tuned into. What's scaring you? Where does it hurt? I ask myself...

[sosoulfull]

L I G H T B O D I E S: “You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” - Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

[sanitysgasp]

Too Easily Broken

Easily shaken, easily moved, easily bruised, easily cracked into a million pieces with the wrong move, wrong sigh, wrong look, wrong message. My favorite muscle is my most fragile for its never gotten the exercise it needed to be free. It’s deepest fear is being inadequate. Sizing up and being enough to keep it sacred and safe to those chosen to protect its core. My heart.

[sanitysgasp]

Where Does It Hurt? Everywhere

"Wake me up life!", she said. "Help me!", he said on bended knee, heart sunken in humility. "Show me something better life!", we say as we are swallowed by the beast that lurks in the shadows of our lost dreams and economic status. You see, glass ceilings and short thinking create perfect boxes that shape the sadness of the lost and the forgotten. Of the insane and the tired. So what do we do? We look to hope. Hope that the next morning is worth the long, sleepless night, that the relationship is worth the fight, that our children one day will understand our sacrifice and never forget the security of unconditional love. Hoping that somehow we'll look back and say this was all worth it. Love us in this pain, world. Help us become more than just a name to write off when the check doesn't clear.. Cover us when the demons appear. When our loved ones are taken before we have time to prepare. Place us in your heart and hold us there until we're done raging against the moon. "Can you see us yet?!", we scream.

[3wickedandlovely3]

Welcome September, New Moon and Solar Eclipse!! The month of changes and new beginnings!! #wickedandlovelystore #september #newmoon #solareclipse #magick #wiccan #pagan #virgo #newbeginnings

[tanya-nicole]

When I love, I love: wholly, thoroughly, completely, drowning in everything. Every glance can be a conversation, eyes just playing and saying what needs to be said. Silence is loud, and the air becomes heavy. I want you. I want all of you.

Warsan Shire (via tanya-nicole)

[sanitysgasp]

Dear Everyone & No One

My smile will no longer be your comfort prior to the inevitable eruption of tears. For my cape's power has strangled me and leaving me nothing to protect me from me, and you from yourself. I'm tired. Used, misused, and abused, I can no longer offer open legs and perfectly cooked meals to satisfy your appetite for everything that represents me.. but isn't. My skill sets are no longer yours to place into the mouth of the shark and the belly of the beast. I can no longer offer you me without hopes of peace. Dear Men. Dear Employer. Dear Friends.... Dear World.

[sanitysgasp]

Pepple wouldn't understand how incredibly hard it is for me to smile at times

[sanitysgasp]

The Shift

Crossroads arise as life unfolds with its high levels of fireworks and caution tape. Doses of serenity come at the cost of ignorance and maps are pointless without a steady compass. What is direction? Rice under black beans, a spiraling staircase, or is direction supposed to look like progress although sometimes we get it wrong (and go backwards)? I'm stuck between a light and a dark place. At the fork in the road, at my past meets the future, at the edge of the next equinox, at American meets blackness... at knowledge meets faith. I'm met with questions challenging this over thinker into chasing her tails into Wonderland.

[empathicclusterfuck]

I’ve been burned, kicked, stomped. Watched emotional walls fall and felt their bricks impale me from heights unknown before I watched her patch the wall back up and lock me out. But no matter what I will stay open. I’d rather bleed from love then be healed yet not living. #beopentolove #empath #empathy #lightworker #soulsearching

[spiritualevolution1111]

“The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.”

— Carlos Castaneda

[sanitysgasp]

America Keeps Breaking My Heart (Poetry): I'd like to show you, America, that I'm human. That my blackness is not layered on like tar as if God cursed me by making me different than you. I'm not contagious, you can not catch the woes you've given. I want to be able to shine my light without you fearing that it will diminish yours. Tell me why my tears are like confetti, my hunger like music, my concerns are only uneducated thoughts yet there's nothing scarier to you than an educated me? Why must you resent me on sight? Why can't I scream without you barking saying my cries are too loud for you to keep YOUR peace amongst the cushions of your Wall Street Journal and Cosmopolitan magazines, good schools, and the simple benefit of innocence. I've been dying to show you the benefit of me and even with my blood on your hands and feet I'm afraid you'll never see me.

[sanitysgasp]

I've continuously fallen victim to buying into the American Dream in hopes for a better tomorrow. Buying into fools gold. A fool, I've paid in standardized testing and student loans, paid in mediocre wages, paid in tears for the black boys and black men whose fate is "to be determined", in my brothers scars of Iraqi formed PTSD, and my niece being a fatherless child statistic before the age of 5. I buy into this dream because what's the alternative? Fight against the system pushing my blackness down the throats of those who refuse to see ME? Not sure where that gets me. I'm not sure where I'm going anymore, what I'm hoping for, what I'm wishing for. I'm just trying to survive. I don't want to feel angry, I want to feel free.

[sanitysgasp]

I have searched for God every place imaginable. Ashtrays as I star gazed, within the eyes of children, within the hearts man, the depth of spine tingling ecstasy, in my Grandmother's arms beneath the form of her smile and under her couch cusions like I'm searching for loose change. Yet, I've missed my mark like shooting darts in the dark for I've really never looked to God within the loose ways I've changed. Change is remarkable. Immaculate even in its imperfections. I believe change is where God lives, where God's loves to thrive, where he's able to finesse the image of his creation. He's falling within the growing pain tears, he's near and far within his complexity as he romantically hovers protectively... amidst this cruel cruel world. He's everywhere.

[sanitysgasp]

My journal: Peace should from trees like sap. Coating everything it touches so that it glitters like gold in the Sun. How great would it be for the quiet nature of confidence to fall from the sky enriching humanity one of the most powerful tools we need for survival? I want to know what life tastes like to those actually living it. Does it smell like the perfection of Summer morning dew and honey suckles in bloom? Is the there enough room in the rose bed for us all to basque in the beauty of its thorns? Is freedom freeing or are we slaves to the hope of its very idea? There's this thing called justice that growing obsolete yet I wonder what it'll feel like at the tips of my nephews feet planted deeply in American soil. What exactly would it be like to live in a world where the smallest of things are free?