free thinking
Yesterday I was walking to the shops and an idea hit me, why do we care so much about what others think of us?
Everyone has this thought in their life. And there’s probably a genuine psychological reason for it; some kid said something to me at school or I always felt like I owed it to my parents to be what they want me to be.
But my parents don’t really care. They just want me to be healthy and happy. I originally applied to do Japanese Studies and Communications at university. I switched during my foundation year and decided to study film.
Now, what I thought I wanted to do was a practical pathway and become a director, but after thinking, I really love writing. I’ve been writing out snippets for a few stories, mainly children’s. There are so many things I want to with my life, mainly art based, I just want to be an “artist”. So, I’ve decided that for now I’m going to do what I’m good at, writing, and stick to theory.
There are too many people in the world to please, and this summer has been a learning curve for me in that. I was talking to friends last night in the park, I said how it was scary summer was nearly over and they looked at me like I had been swallowed by the stars. “It’s only just started Rachel.”
And they’re right.
On a deeper level too. Things are only starting, I’m only 22 and I settled with the idea of time a while ago, there is no rush with things, I have plenty of time to enjoy life. There are so many things I want to do, and in its cliché love story of finding self worth I just need to accept that things constantly change. An opinion can change within a few words of being said and just because someone told you something yesterday doesn’t necessarily mean it is still true today.
I quit facebook but recently came back, I thought I was ready, but I think that maybe I still need some time. But this time I don’t need to deactivate it, I can learn to step away from these modern obsessions of self-praise, seeking validation; actually getting to know people is a beautiful thing, and I miss it.
Everyone has their judgments; it is whether we offer them that makes the difference. And honestly, we don’t need to more often than not, I’m not saying don’t have thought, I just saying…maybe you don’t have to say everything, maybe you can just let people live.
Soundtrack – Surf Rock Is Dead: Zen A
