A Real, Legitimate Summary of the Teen Wolf Movie's Plot:
(I'm not joking, but you're going to think I am)
also, spoilers obviously...
Scott McCall works as a rescue dog saving victims from building collapses in LA
Mr. Harris, the long DEAD biology teacher for school somehow magically comes back from the dead and decides to get his revenge on Scott
Mr. Harris flies to Japan and robs a ramen shop that Liam & Fake-Kira Hikari own, because they decide to keep the nogitsune locked in a spice jar on a spice rack
The nogitsune brings Allison back to life, who has been dead for 15 years, and uses the oni to kidnap everybody to hold them hostage in a magic spirit realm located underneath the lacrosse field while scott & eli play a lacrosse game
The nogitsune's plan is to make the entire pack watch Allison shoot Scott in the heart and kill him, so that everybody will be sad and he can drink their sadness to become more powerful
Scott pretends to die, so the Nogitsune gets made and turns into a WEREWOLF-NOGITSUNE HYBRID MONSTER and attacks
The pack decides that the only way to kill the nogitsune (even tho the nogitsune was previously established to literally be unkillable) is to have Parrish hug him and set him on fire to death
For some reason, the werewolf-nogitsune hybrid monster won't stand still to die, so derek decides to literally SACRIFICE HIMSELF by holding down the werewolf-nogitusne and letting Parrish burn BOTH derek and the nogitsune to death
Derek literally burns himself to death right in front of eli and orphans him
Scott and Allison decide to adopt Eli and run a dog shelter in LA
(no, i'm not joking.....this actually happened. this was the movie. some of the worst fanfiction that I ever read watched in my life)
P.S the only good part of this really bad fanfic movie is that for the whole movie derek keeps saying that he hates stiles' jeep (and he doesn't explain why) and then at the end of the movie at derek's funeral, sheriff stilinski gives Eli the jeep and says that derek secretly didn't hate the jeep.
then he explains that after Stiles left it behind, Derek towed it back to his auto shop (because derek is a mechanic now btw????) and fixed up stiles' jeep literally so he could keep it for himself. and I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be some metaphor for derek not realizing he's in love with stiles until after stiles moves away and now all that he has left is the jeep????
