A Thousand Words

A twenty-something's view of the universe through photos and writing.

[sarahbeestories]

May all your days be as peaceful as Damian is when he sleeps. Mitchell, SD. January 2018.

(© Sarah Bee)

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[dami-and-bee]

So I pulled out my camera for the first time since I was laid off and took some shots of Dami in his bowtie in the Autumn sunshine.

God I miss photoing. So, so, so, so much.

[sarahbeestories]

Bubbles. Mitchell, SD. July 2017.

(© Sarah Bee)

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[sarahbeestories]

Cool Girls Don’t Look At Explosions. Morgantown, WV. July 2017.

(© Sarah Bee)

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[sarahbeestories]

Birds. Mitchell, SD. March 2017.

(© Sarah Bee)

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[sarahbeestories]

what is your life dream?

To be happy and loved. Maybe one day actually publish a book, or work for DC Comics. I’m pretty mundane haha. 

[sarahbeestories]

Favorite and least favorite movies and why?

haha who are you anon, why are you asking so many questions about me! 

Hmm, I don’t have a straight up favorite. Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Hellboy 2. Seven Pounds. How To Train Your Dragon. 2016 Ghostbusters. It depends on how it’s done! 

Mmmm. the later harry potter movies were pretty bad. haha I don’t now if I really hate any movies. If I don’t like them I don’t think about them, so I have no idea! 

[sarahbeestories]

would you consider yourself mean?

I mean, I wouldn’t consider myself not mean either. I try to be kind and compassionate and the best person I can be, but sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I’m hurt and lash out, like anybody. Like I currently have a coworker who hates me for who knows why, and it’s not like I try extra hard to be nice to him. I don’t try extra hard to be not mean to him either, haha. 

[sarahbeestories]

You've been quite the popular anon chatter

haha honestly, I don’t even know where it all came from! I haven’t been active on this blog in a long time, and was honestly thinking about shutting it down (especially since I started another side blog @dami-and-bee that I’ve been a little more active on lately). 

But I’m always happy for asks! I love talking to folks. :3 I’m super curious who this/these anon are, though, and why they’ve suddenly taken an interest in me! But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the attention haha. 

[sarahbeestories]

What's your biggest regret?

Hm, that’s tough. I’d probably say I regret trusting most of the people I have. Because barring the few close friends I have, and even then, now I struggle to trust anyone. 

[sarahbeestories]

how many people do you think you've scored over the years? and why?

Scored? Do you mean scorned, as in relation to that other ask?

I’ve had a lot of Tumblr (and even real life, I guess) friendships that have crashed and burned out of the blue. It’s been hard on my heart, and almost always the other person’s choice to leave/cut off ties. So I just kind of assume I’ve upset them in some way, and am not worth it to fix it? Haha maybe scorn wasn’t the right word. Though I don’t know any other word to describe it.

But with the Tumblr friendships, they still know these things about me, so like, are always worry that they’re checking up on me still? And might still send me messages sometimes? Especially like that other one, saying ‘I hope you’re happy.’ The one Tumblr friendship that ended, the person said ‘You have mental health problems. We can be friends when you’re better.’ so I’m always nervous she’ll be trying to pop back up into my life again, maybe with saying something like that.

I don’t know, though. I’m bad at keeping friendships apparently. I’m bad at letting go of people and friendships too, though I was already aware of that. 

[sarahbeestories]

i really like your pet stories they're cute and sad. i wish you'd write more.

Thank you so much!!! I haven’t had time to write a lot of original stuff lately, mostly just a heck ton of fanfiction, but I’ve been thinking of plots and the like for more stories! Hopefully if I get some time off work like I want in a few weeks, I’ll be able to write them sooner rather than later! :3

[sarahbeestories]

Hi. I hope you're happy.

Oof, this strikes me as a little ominous/from someone I’ve scorned. But regardless, I’m working on it! No life is perfect, mine included. But I’m working on the happiness, self-love/confidence/esteem/worth thing! 

I truly and sincerely hope you are happy too, sweet anon! <3

[sarahbeestories]

Sundays. Mitchell, SD. June 2016.

(© Sarah Bee)

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[sarahbeestories]

When I was a kid I always said out loud in case my passed away pets could hear that they are allowed to cuddle whenever they would want. the story you wrote really touched me

I bet they could hear you! I bet they are still with you even now. 

I’m so happy you enjoyed the story. Hopefully there will be more to come of this series! And soon! 

[sarahbeestories]

house guests

Summary: Just because pets die, it doesn’t mean they leave you. Or did you really think your living pets were just staring at human ghosts all day?

Skeleton Paws, 1/?

~~

He blinked. “Who are you?”

The other blinked back. “Nobody.” He grunted. “Who are you?”

The first wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Of course you don’t.” The second sneered. “You’re an infant.”

He felt his claws dig into the hardwood beneath his paws. “At least I’m not old, like you.”

The other, who’d been crouched low, suddenly sat up, exposing a white belly and white paws, underneath an otherwise orange fur coat.

A third creature appeared, though, as the second opened his mouth to respond.

“Don’t.” She warmed, exposing teeth. She wasn’t feline, not like himself, or the grumpy one he was talking to. She was larger, thinner. More athletic. Canine, maybe? He’d never actually seen one. “You’ll upset her.”

“I’m not old.” He declared anyway, with a twitch of his own nose – pink, surrounded by a splash for white. “And thanks to the universe, I never will be.”

Despite it being his own words, he tended to shrink a little at the statement anyway, and his ears lowered with a slight sadness.

“Don’t.” The dog repeated quietly, nudging her nose against the other cat’s ear. He didn’t look at her. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” The orange one whined. “I still had time. I had a few years left…!”

Suddenly, there was a third creature. Another feline, more like himself. Black fur all over, a tuft of white on his chest, smaller than his own. The orange cat quieted upon his arrival immediately, and the dog said nothing as he sat squarely in front of them, and stared curiously down at him.

“Hello little one.” He said. “What does she call you?”

He frowned. “Baby. Booboo. Honey dumpling.” He tilted his head, and turned to look at the door. “When she comes back after being gone for a long time, she calls, and I think she’s calling for me. She always says, ‘Benny.’”

“So your name is Benny.” The other black cat said. “I’m Lorne. This is Jamie.” He turned first towards the orange and white one, then spun around to look up at the canine. “And this is Clara.”

“Hello.” He repeated, looking between all three of them. “Why are you three on my porch?”

The question made Jamie start, jerking forward. “It should be my porch…!”

“It shouldn’t be and you know it.” Lorne snapped, and Jamie immediately retreated back. “Even if you had not died then, you would have been dead by now, and have never even seen this home, let alone lived in it. So, enough.”

Jamie lowered his ears, turned and stalked off into the nearby grass.

“Don’t worry about him.” Clara added sweetly. “He’s just…territorial.”

“Difficult, more like. But neither here nor there.” Lorne huffed. He slowly dropped down, dipping his paws underneath his body. “How do you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Living with her.” Lorne explained gently. “Living with Tyler.”

“The human?” His ear twitched and he let himself grin. “Good. She’s nice. She lets me do basically anything I want.”

Clara grinned too. “She tends to do that.”

“She lets me jump on the counter, and lets me sleep on her bed.” He listed off. “She doesn’t mind when I kiss her face. And she gives kisses back a lot of the time, too!”

“She’s very good at that too.” Clara chuckled.

And that reminded him: “Her laugh is wonderful. I love making her laugh.”

“We all did.” Jamie called sourly.

“…Did?” Benny asked softly. “What do you mean-”

There was suddenly a rumble from the other side of the house. Long and drawn out. And just as suddenly it stopped. Then, after a beat of silence, the swish of a door, and the bored call of:

“Ben-ny!”

He squealed in delight, spinning around and galloping to meet her. She spotted him instantly, and a large smile grew across her face as she crouched, tossing her bag to one side and holding her hands out to catch him. He squirmed in her arms a little, purring loudly as she peppered his whiskers with kisses.

“There’s my little Benedict.” She crooned. “Did you have a good day without mommy?”

He mewed again, jumping back to the ground, and running to the door, where the three animals sat – Jamie having returned to the group. He excitedly rose to his hind legs, tapping his paws against the glass barrier.

“Look, look!” He called to her, twisting his neck to make sure she was listening. “Guests! We have guests!”

“What’s out there?” Tyler asked instead, as she came to stand over him. “What do you see?”

“Them.” Benny cried, and when Tyler still didn’t react, pawed excitedly at the glass, right at Lorne’s face. “Right here!”

“A bird, huh?” Tyler asked. She shrugged. “Must’ve flown away, buddy. We’ll catch the next one.”

She turned away, humming quietly as she went to the counter, opening cabinets, shuffling between plates and crinkling bags of food. Benny only mewed again, long and whining.

“Can it, small fry.” Jamie sighed. “She can’t see us.”

Benny’s ear twitched. “She can’t?”

“Nope.”

Benny suddenly jumped up, pressed both his paws firmly against the glass. “Why not?”

“Because we’re dead.” Jamie answered matter-of-factly.

Benny felt himself deflate a little bit, as he slid his paws slowly back down to the ground. And he didn’t know why he didn’t notice it before, but – yeah. He could see through them. Clara, Jamie and Lorne, they were a little opaque. He could see the edge of the porch through their legs and lower halves. The grass of the yard behind them.

“…Oh.”

“We were Tyler’s pets before.” Clara explained gently. “Years and years ago. Lorne and I knew her as a child. Jamie grew up with her. You get her as an adult.”

“…Oh.” Benny repeated sadly. “Oh, I’m- I’m so sorry.” He paused. “…You’re the ones she always talks about.”

Lorne gave half a smile. “Doubtful. She probably mostly talks about Jamie.” He glanced at the cat beside him, who had lowered his ears, curled back around himself. “They were very close.”

Benny could see by Jamie’s posture that that was an understatement.

“Benny!” Tyler suddenly called. He glanced over his shoulder. “Come get a treat, baby!”

He blinked, and looked back at the door. “Will the three of you stay?”

They seemed surprised by the request.

“You’d…” Clara glanced at Jamie. “You’d like us to?”

“Sure.” Benny half shrugged. “I mean, I don’t see why I wouldn’t-”

“She’s your-” Jamie started, but Benny didn’t let him finish the thought.

“-She’s still your human just as much as she is mine.” He smiled. “You can teach me about her. And help me when she gets sad. And keep me company when she leaves!”

The three still seemed to hesitate. Lorne sighed. “We shouldn’t. We only came here to see her, to see how you were adjusting. It’s not exactly-”

Clara walked through the door.

Lorne frowned. “Clara-”

Jamie raced after her, already darting past Benny and hopping onto the nearby sofa, and sitting with excited expectation.

“Jamie-”

“Drop it, Lorne.” Clara scolded as she passed Benny. “It won’t hurt anything. And if it does, we’ll leave. No big deal.”

She continued on, joining Tyler in the kitchen. Winding lazily around her legs. Tyler suddenly shivered, and complained about a draft in the door. Benny just stared up at his counterpart. The other, older, bigger, black cat.

“Please?” He asked gently. “I’m sure it would make Tyler happy, if she knew.”

Lorne seemed to hesitate a second to pout, before he stood, and carefully, slowly, hesitantly stepped through the glass. He remained tense as he stood there, and watched Jamie and Clara crowd Tyler, who had absolutely no idea.

“We won’t be long.” Lorne mumbled, as Benny stepped up beside him. “A few days, maximum.” He seemed to relax, just a little, then. “It’s no good for her, if we stay. No good for us, either.”

“You don’t know that.” Benny hummed. “This could end up being the greatest thing ever!”

And he could only watch Benny bound off to his human, to their human. As Tyler looked down at him and grinned, as Clara sat patiently next to her, as Jamie clamored across the counter to be as close to her as possible.

…As memories suddenly flashed through his mind, of a little girl who had just lost her tooth, and was tucking him into bed beside her to wait for the tooth fairy.

A warmth rushed through him as he felt himself relax further, as he stepped off to join his companions in the kitchen.

“…Perhaps it could.” He whispered, as Tyler plucked Benny off the floor and nuzzled their noses together. “Perhaps it could.”

[sarahbeestories]

Memorial Day. Mitchell, SD. May 2016.

(© Sarah Bee)

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