[ink-rachelleigh]

I’ve been drawing for two weeks straight & it feels good :)

[oldestsoul]

[latibule-e-deactivated20231012]

— Hanif Abdurraqib, from “They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us.”

[frachella]

[abyssesque-deactivated20240422]

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."

-Paulo Coelho, the alchemist

[ousia-poetica]

[ladyhaven-deactivated20250120]

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

Honestly this is beautiful, but I am so grateful that I do not feel so deeply anymore about everything. Reconditioning.

[sweetlikeacherry]

do you have dating advice/criteria for the girlies in 2022? I'm in the trenches here </3

I have so much to say on this topic... especially from experiencing what it's like to recover from a narcissistic relationship breakup that I chose to walk away from. in these past few weeks I feel like I've had an awakening in my body, in my mind, and in my spirt- about what I will NEVER accept, tolerate, or put up with- in ANY relationship moving forward.

to start I'm going to ask myself these questions

am I emotionally available for a relationship?

am I aware of my triggers/how they show up in relationships?

do I really like this person?

am I comfortable or familiar with this person? there is a difference.

do I have to preform or alter myself to be loved by them?

do our core values and beliefs align?

am I attracted to their heart, values, and character?

am I willing to honor our differences?

am I willing to accept their flaws?

do I like who I am with this person?

do I want to be like this person?

to they challenge me to grow?

do they respect me?

do they respect my boundaries?

are they an active listener?

do they know how to emotionally regulate during conflict?

can they handle constructive criticism?

what is their relationship like with their family and friends? would I be okay if they treated me the same way?

are they self-aware? do they have a healthy sense of self/emotional maturity?

can I trust this person with my heart?

can we have fun with each other?

and if the answer is no to more than half of those questions, get comfortable with telling people "you are not in a place in your life where you're able to give me what I need in a relationship." do not stick around for mistreatment. do not stick around when you see it's not working. don't make it an invitation to change yourself or that person. just recognize: that this person is not what you want, and you choose something else with somebody else. raise the bar on who has access to you!!!!! if I am working on current healing and I have already healed so much in the past, why just allow anyone to walk into my life now? as they please? so they can just do whatever they want? I don't think so.

but onto what I have learned:

if you're saying one thing and you're acting another way, I'm going to focus on how you're acting to me.

I will never tell another man how to be my boyfriend. I will not ask him for flowers, I will not ask him for reassurance, I will not ask him for compliments, attention, or time. I will not ask him to delete people on social media or block them. I will not tell him how to behave. I will not ask him to take me on dates. I will not ask him to make me a priority. the right man would do it with zero hesitation.

I will never ever let someone convince me that holding them accountable, calling them out on their actions, or expressing my feelings is causing them "stress" or "drama" for them. it's an easy way for them to deflect and put the blame on me and shut down the conversation. they can't deal with other people's emotions, much less their own- and they can't handle the bumps and difficulties that come up in a relationship. they will shut down, withdraw, pull away, and avoid- and by saying that 'I'm creating stress' takes them out of the equation. never again.

if you're loyal, then temptation does not exist. cheating starts in the mind so what you're looking at and consuming everyday will affect your relationship and the way that you think.

when a man says "you're way out my league" or "I don't deserve you" or "I'll never be good enough for you" they mean it!!!!! it is not a compliment. it should not be seen as a challenge to build up his ego and his self-esteem by lowering your standards. his healing is his responsibility and his only.

a deeply insecure man will pursue someone who is secure, happy, and confident in themselves and over time they will completely rob them of all of that. they will find someone else to validate their own feelings of inadequacy to prove to themselves that more than one woman wants them.

the moment that your health is declining or you feel like your self care/beauty regime is declining in any relationship- leave! it will only get worse. your body is sending you messages by rejecting this person on a physical and intuitive level.

it is not asking too much to delete ex's from social media and not keep in constant contact with them. its actually so weird to have someone you used to have sex with on any social media while in a relationship.

it's not okay to accept friend requests on social media platforms that you find attractive and it's definitely not okay to engage in conversation with them. being in a relationship is a choice- it's your job to keep it emotionally safe and to have integrity.

a man is not his potential. the man you imagine that he could be in your head...is not who is is. they are showing you exactly who they are. they don't want to change that/aren't going to.

it's okay to be sad that a man leaves your life, but that doesn't make it wrong.

the qualities that you wished a man possessed- they simply lack. it has nothing to do with you

there is a huge difference between a relationship being hard and a relationship being wrong

you take in the qualities of those that you surround yourself with

if you know that you don't actually love someone- don't stick around because they are convenient and the 'safe' option out of fear of being alone.

a real man will cut off any woman that threatens his relationship. a weak man will make excuses.

a mans ability to stay committed to his goals will be a direct idea of how he will be committed to you. which speaks volumes

the negative traits that have consistently shown up in romantic relationships are 'mirrors' of what was normal for you in childhood. the pattern keeps showing up in your life/relationship because your mind is attempting to create resolve around what was left unresolved. and that explains being in alignment with chaos and confusion! because my habits and patterns were a vibrational match for low quality experiences.

when it comes to changing situations or circumstances in your life, it's going to require you to be fearless. to show up differently than how you have shown up before. one of the fastest ways to create the results that you desire is to live in 'the end.' (I learned this concept from Dylan James on YouTube I love him) meaning you're going to assume a new identity- a new version of yourself- that IS in alignment with what you want to experience. when you have people in your life who are not respecting you, loving you, giving you the attention that you deserve, showing up in the ways that you deserve, you say to yourself: "oh. you're not honoring me? ok. I'm not going to worry about you. I'm going to prioritize myself. I'm going to honor myself and I'm going to be around people that honor me and if you want to step up to the plate, great! but I'm not waiting for you because whether I'm with you or somebody else, I'm going to be honored. I'm not waiting for anything! I'm going to live in 'the end' version of me that receives consistent love, consistent commitment, consistent care, ect."

there is nothing attractive or desirable about someone who does not desire me. a mans lack of interest in me is unattractive. this lack of urgency in pursuing me is unattractive. his lack of excitement about having a chance with me is unattractive.

moving forward~

if a man is not actively contributing to my well-being and my happiness- why am I even talking about him? why am I bringing him up in conversation? what is there to talk about? when this man has done nothing to improve my life or add to my happiness? what is there really to talk about? if he doesn't do anything for me- I shouldn't be speaking his name to anybody! let him Rest In Peace 🪦✌🏻💀⚰️ he is not the one

[afreenirfanbaig-deactivated2024]

When Allah wills good for you He gives you only what is safe for you, and withholds what will corrupt you. So never grieve for what has been withheld from you.

[pinkmoon888]

People on tumblr love to take indigenous issues out of context when it benefits them lol. "Moving from urban places to rural places isn't colonialism! tourism isn't colonialism!" aww did someone get criticized by the big mean native people. Is the poor baby having trouble seeing how you benefit from the massacre and violent relocation of indigenous people 😢

[goreprofonde]

| Jeffrey Weinstock, Invisible Monsters: Vision, Horror, and Contemporary Culture

[thatbitchsimone]

[sontarangaming]

Getting Arrested 101

In light of yesterdays ruling on the Miranda rights, now that the cops don't need to read you your rights, I figure it's as good a time as any to make a crash course post on what to do if you get arrested in the US. Know your rights and how to invoke them, because cops will try and trick you into reneging on them whenever they can. Here's my bible on engaging with police, and feel free to add on if you have other tips.

If you encounter police at all, especially if it's for a protest, engage as little as possible. Protests will sometimes have police liaisons; if they do, deflect the cops onto them. They have training for this. Otherwise, say nothing to them if they don't engage first.

If they engage first, do not escalate. Cops are trained to try and escalate situations. It wins them PR, and it makes it easier for them to justify violence against you and in turn, the other protestors. I don't care how punk you think it is, do not escalate.

When they engage, if you think you're being arrested, ask them in no uncertain terms and demand a clear answer. Say "am I being arrested," and if they evade, repeat it until the answer is no or yes. If it's no, walk away and don't engage further. If it's yes, then:

Shut the fuck up. Say absolutely nothing from this point forward until you reach the station. No matter what they say, no matter how serious or casual the conversation is, you say nothing. Zip. No exceptions. This is especially important to remember because they will try and humiliate you and make the arrest process as difficult as possible to try and make you crack, so do the simplest thing and say nothing.

If you are arrested, once you make it to the station, there's a simple three step process to remember. Exact wording isn't necessary, but try and be close. Remember, you don't want to be Lawyer Dogged. Once again, be as clear as you possibly can.

"Am I being detained?" If no, leave. If yes, then say:

"I invoke my right to have a lawyer present." Any time they try and push on that, you say:

"As I am detained, I invoke my right to remain silent until my lawyer is present."

You want it to be 100% undeniable, in as much of the record as possible, that you were being detained, and therefor you need a lawyer. Otherwise, the cops will retroactively decide you weren't actually held there, and therefor you had no rights to invoke, so get that shit down. And once again, aside from saying #3, shut the fuck up. Same principle applies as #4 on the first list: they will do whatever they can to get you talking, and once they do, they'll say "oh, they decided to not use the lawyer after all because they started talking without one." So do. Not. Budge.

Lastly, some general pieces of advice, both for before and during the arrest process:

If you're going to a protest, the sort of thing where arrests can be planned for, there will likely be an organizer with some experience. They may be able to give you specific advice for that protest with regards to things like ID, liaisons, or any specific protocol. Check with them as well.

If you're in a situation where arrests are likely or expected, especially with a protest, plan accordingly. Power off your phone and deactivate the fingerprint or facial recognition unlock options, or leave it at home entirely. Don't bring anything you wouldn't want to be arrested with. Think carefully about leaving your ID at home, though. John Doe-ing can cause extra trouble for the cops (good), but it's also risky, since it can make it harder for you to pay for bail and can make things harder for you down the line.

Police always lie. Let me repeat. Police. Always. Lie. Again, Police. Always. Lie. This should be your fucking mantra. They will tell you you'll get out easier if you cooperate. They will tell you any information they can find about your friends and family. They will threaten you and them. This is all hollow. Your friends have rights as well. All of this is posturing to get you to talk and incriminate you and your friends. Police always lie.

Every American should know this, but it's especially important for any activist, or advocate. Knowing your rights is the only defense you have against cops, so you need to game that system to keep them from gaming it back.

[digitalhunk]

best fight scene in movie history

[tinykitchenvegan]

Soy-Ginger Marinated Tofu Salad

[86jodeci]