how to seduce me:
deposit 5000 dollars in my bank account
dont talk to me
*be attractive
no im pretty sure i said
deposit 5000 dollars in my bank account
dont talk to me

★

JVL

Kiana Khansmith
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@sardinetoes
how to seduce me:
deposit 5000 dollars in my bank account
dont talk to me
*be attractive
no im pretty sure i said
deposit 5000 dollars in my bank account
dont talk to me
Pros of chubby gf
- soft
- nice hugs
- thigh pillows??? Tiddy pillows??
Cons of chubby gf
- none
Pros of skinny gf
- fits in ur arms rly nicely
- ur hoodies are too big on her which is beautiful
Cons of skinny gf
- none
Pros of muscled gf
- abs?? Biceps??? Please???
- strong gf pick me up pls
- most likely works out a lot which is hot
Cons of muscled gf
- none
Pros of a tall gf:
-she can reach everything
-she can wear those gorgeous and long swooshy dresses without drowning in the fabric
-she still rocks heels, I mean, hello??? Tall girls in heels??? Yes??? PLEASE?
- can curb stomp facist easily
Cons of a tall gf
-none, you’re just cowardly
Pros of a short gf
- I can give her piggyback rides
- she short which means I can pick her up randomly
- she’s got a better angle for throat punching facist
- great at stealing my clothes and wearing em
Cons of a short gf
- none
Pros of a disabled gf
- she’s still her own independent person
- she’s intelligent, often times having some of the most profound things to say that people often ignore because they’re stupid
-she’s got a unique lifestyle that’s gonna be best for her and she’s gonna live life as much as she can as comfortably as she can
-stronger than any US marine
-hates fascist
Cons of a disabled gf
-none
Finally a Tumblr Post that speaks to me
wow being alive is… uncomfortable
I get jealous really easily but not like an angry vengeful jealous more like a really sad lonely jealous because everybody likes everybody more than they like me and I really really don’t blame them.
Anti anxiety.
As someone with crippling anxiety, this shit WORKS.
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
This is all really good advice for dealing with long term depression and anxiety. It’s not gonna magically cure you, but I’ve pushed myself to incorporate a few of these things into my day to day routine and it helps
I love this 💕💕💕💕
You go Mandy
Good reasons to get stronger:
Lift girlfriend.
Lift wife (someday, I hope).
Protect women.
Intimidate men.
See, this is healthy masculinity.
No. No it is not. This is me being a lesbian.
#gay i wszystko inne, co zrujnowało moje życie. Autobiografia sardinetoes
BAHAHAHHA
if we’re dating and you see me lying down on my bed, you’re 100% allowed to just lay down on top of me
me at any point during the day: thinking about how much i love, admire, and respect my gf 😩👌✔️💦😩😩
gentle reminder
even though it might not feel like it, you have friends and loved ones who will be there for you if you need them
happiness comes in waves, it’ll find you again.
ok can we just talk about how important it was when syd was telling Elena that there was no pressure to have sex and even if she never wanted to do it it was fine???? and all that matters is that they loves her????
Die Gänsehaut, die man bekommt, wenn man am Hals geküsst wird…