I never thought that the end would happen on such a mundane Friday evening. At the same time, maybe I should have seen it coming. In retrospective, it was long coming. Jaemin was... the epitome of too-good-to-be-true, but, we both knew that whatever this situation was would be temporary. After all, matching on Tinder should have been red flag number one. Blinded by the desire to find my person and truly believing in the potential of what we could have been lowered my boundaries, momentarily of course, but enough to let him in and only leave me torn up at the disarray that he left by uttering four simple words "Let's just be friends."
« Why are you so upset? » Doyoung asked with a solemn sigh as he readjusted his posture on the couch to look at you.
 Avoiding his intense gaze like the plague, you said « I am not upset. Do you want some tea?»
 « No no, stop avoiding this conversation. Youâve been giving me the cold shoulder since last night. »
 Last night⊠maybe if Doyoung was not so set on perceiving why you were giving him the cold shoulder, he would have noticed the huge bags under your eyes, the visibly paler complexion that you wore or simply how your demeanour bore witness to how tired you really were.
 « I donât want to talk about it really. Anyway, Iâm really not upset. » you exclaimed quickly, getting up to saunter towards the open kitchen area of your apartment.
 But Doyoung was quick to grab your wrist, pulling you back down next to him. His grip was loose, but the warmth that his hand exuded was enough to make you comply.
 « Fine, you might not be upset. But something is clearly odd » He insisted, frustrated with this tensed atmosphere and palpable cold ambiance.
 « I am not upset at you, rest assured, if thatâs whatâs bothering you. »
 Doyoung was clearly offended, did you really think that little of him. He was worried about you, genuinely. This was not some bruised-ego question.
 « Fine be this way. Find me when you are ready to talk about it. » He exclaimed. Getting up from his seat as he grabbed his trench coat in one single movement.
 Once he was out the door, you finally let out the cough which had been threatening at your throat ever since the gold band tight to his ring finger reflected against his fair complexion the moment he had barged back into your place.
 Staring solemnly at the bright yellow Marigold petal that lay in your hand, a faint smile found your lips at the irony of its meaning. Happiness was bound your way if you were to believe in this flowerâs meaning. Yet, all you could see is your world fall apart, Doyoung was now engaged and there was no way in which youâd stand in the way of his happiness.
First Love. A concept that may seem childish and futile to some but crucial and life-changing to others. Some experience it as young as at the age of 10, others even at the age of 55. No two people experience love in the same way and that is the beauty of life. Â However, first loves are known to be unsuccessful; in general, foolish, hasty, and clumsy which leads to break-ups and heartaches, yet one knows no better personal growth than from this experience. The kind of love that will hurt deeply and for a long time but also the special type of feeling that leaves you thankful and matured.
Soyeon exited the building hurriedly as her eyes darted to her watch. Her hasty steps and alert eyes spelled out that she was needed somewhere. After eyeing left and right, she sighed deeply before dialing a number she knew by heart. Only one beep was enough for him to answer on the other end of the line with a tone way too sweet to her liking.
âWhere you at?â she asked immediately, to which he nervously chuckled.
âIâm stuck at work.â
âYou-â
âDonât yell.â Taeyong whined, âI sent someone to pick you up, Iâll meet you guys there.â
âWho-â Beep. Beep. Beep.
Soyeon cursed under her breath as she eyed her phone begrudgingly. She usually would not mind waiting but Taeyong had been so adamant that morning about how she should not make him wait on her that the irony of their situation infuriated her. Crossing her arms to her chest, she patiently waited; Taeyong had most probably sent Ten, so he shouldnât be far off since his office building was only three blocks away.
Being on the lookout for Tenâs Mercedes, Soyeon paid no attention to the Audi that swiftly halted a metre away from her. A shiver ran down her spine as the sweet fall breeze swept by, drawing a tight smile to her face.
âI havenât seen this smile in a while.â
Soyeon recognized this voice immediately which made her jolly expression drop. Turning on her stance to face the culprit, her pupils only dilated in recognition of the young man standing right in front of her. He had a tight smirk to his lips whilst his hands were both lodged at the safety of the side pockets of his pants. The opened collar of his dress shirt indicated that a tie used to secure the attire barely a few minutes ago. He was dashing. As always.
âWhat are you doing here?â
âWell why donât you tell me yourself.â
âStop playing, Johnny Suh.â She deadpanned in fluent English; clearly affected by his presence.
He smiled tightly before inching forward to take her in a loose and friendly hug. Though Soyeon would have loved to push him away, she would never be able to; her arms patted his back twice as he took it as a hint to let go.
âTaeyong sent me. Didnât he tell you?â
âIâm going to kill the guy.â She muttered under her breath; not so discretely might I add.
Johnny kept a keen gaze upon her figure until she finally met his pupils. He offered his signature smirk before simply saying; âGet in.â
Traffic was abnormally fluid, but they still had around twenty more minutes before reaching destination. Their annual graduate reunion was being held at a fancy Gangnam hotel. There was a peaceful silence that settled between them. While the air was nowhere near awkward, there definitely was an elephant in the room; an unspoken tension that threatened to break the sweetness of this tranquility at any time yet, neither seemed particular bothered by same.
Reaching for the music player, Soyeon instinctively searched for Petit Biscuit through Johnnyâs saved playlists. It took her barely 3 seconds to find it since it was one of his own most recent hits and she quietly pressed play, letting the soft beats fill the silence with ease. Johnny shook his head with a knowing smile to his lips. This situation was way too familiar, way too convenient, way too nostalgic. But he knew best than to mention it, at least not for now; they still had a whole evening to spend together with their friends; it was not exactly the perfect time to dampen the mood. Yet, Johnny was in the presence of Soyeon, his own personal sunshine. Sunshine who remained hidden within his own clouds for the past year, he of course, had to still edge on the topic.
âAre you that uncomfortable in my presence Yeon?â he asked, a hint of sincerity at the edge of his tone but he kept such a nonchalant expression that Soyeon had a hard time discerning the true meaning behind his words. Whatever it was, she did not let herself ponder for too long either.
âOf course, I am uncomfortable.â She retorted as they reached a red light. Johnny took this as a chance to finally send her a cautious look within the silence that was filled with nothing but Petit Biscuit and their rhythmic breaths.
Soyeon shared a glance to his figure. How could someone still look this stunning after a full eight hours of work was beyond her, but he did. How could someone whom you wished to hate still tug at your heartstrings with a simple gaze, she didnât know either, but he did. Within seconds, they both erupted in a hearty laugh before Johnny tentatively reached out and shuffled her hair.
The sudden burst of laughter was a simple âWeâll be fineâ kind of moment. From this point onward, small talk entailed with generic questions about work and life in general but they both cautiously strained away from any invasive questions that could turn towards any romance prospects that they might each have. After all, a year could do wonders to a wounded heart.
As soon as Soyeon appeared through the main entrance, Taeyong got up from his seat and ran towards Seulgi, as a failed attempt to hide behind her. But the petite woman could only do so much, and well, Taeyong would not be able to hide forever either since Soyeonâs designated seat was right next to his. Soyeon rolled her eyes at her friend, wasting no time in tearing his ear upwards as she pulled him along her side until they were both back to their seats.
Taeyong had a small pout to his lips but in all honesty, Soyeonâs revenge was not nearly as harsh as what he thought it would be. Leaning closer, she simply whispered:
âThis is not over Lee.â With the sweetest smile to her lips which frayed a shiver of fear down Taeyongâs spine. He carefully gulped, sending his friend a nervous smile while Johnny carefully observed the exchange with a small tug to his heart.
Soyeon and Taeyong had always been close, in fact, Taeyong was second in line to being her best friend. They both never shied away from the fact that they crushed on each other for approximately a month when they had first met either. But it all boiled down to a simple physical attraction that subsided as soon as they got to know each other on a more meaningful level. The biggest bubble burst was their clashing personalities and lifestyles, these could never allow them beyond the friend status. Soon enough Soyeon became Taeyongâs wingman, and three years later, got him to settle in his longest romantic relationship yet with Seulgi, his sweetheart, as heâd always refer.
Johnny knew that. He was there through the whole courting process. He was the one who initially had the honour of being Soyeonâs best friend and to this day, he so happened to still be Taeyongâs best friend as well. Naturally he knew their history, he was there through the whole sequence, but he could not help the green monster that tugged at his heart; the envy that he could not hide because now, Taeyong was Soyeonâs closest illustration of a best friend and not him, not anymore. And he had only himself to blame.
Taking his seat across Soyeon, she gave him a tight smile. A smile that did not reach her ears, that did not make her eyes sparkle, but he could sense that it was genuine and well, that was enough comfort for now.
Between new promotions, new jobs, overbearing bosses and annoying colleagues, the conversation at their table was lively and all over the place. Donghyuk and Mark were busy arguing over kimchi fried rice again, Seulgi had excused herself to the bathroom with Karina  and Doyoung was showing Johnny and Ten some promotional video or whatever. So, Taeyong took this advantage to lean closer to Soyeon.
âHow was the ride?â But tipsy Taeyong is not exactly subtle nor quiet. Johnny inadvertly heard the question and carefully eyed Soyeon who briefly met his gaze, before simply shrugging.
âIt was fine.â
âIt was fineâ he repeated on an overly high-pitched voice â⊠come on give me more dets!â
âWe had basic conversation, thatâs it.â She continued, taking a quick swig from the remnants of Taeyongâs beer.
As if on cue, Ten, or better said, a very tipsy Ten, judged it great to reminisce.
âI always hoped that you two would end up together.â Ten sighed, cheeks rosy, while pointing towards Johnny and Soyeon.
âSo did I.â Soyeon whispered softly, moreso for herself to hear before sending a small grin to Ten. âWell things donât always work out the way weâd hoped for honey.â She continued as she handed Ten a chicken wing to keep his mouth shut.
The whole gang could only giggle at the small exchange, relieved that Soyeon did not falter under Tenâs drunken honesty. Johnny on the other hand, paled.
Several drinks later, half of their table was snoozing while holding their soju bottles, while the other half was still competing to the alcohol death, that is, Doyoung and the girls. Soyeon tapped out with a last shot, finally feeling the buzz kick in.
Slowly getting up from her chair, she sneakily grabbed Taeyongâs spare coat to wrap around herself as she headed for a quick breather. Ten was about to follow her, just to keep her company but he quickly chose otherwise as he noticed a very tipsy Johnny struggle to get up and follow her quietly.
Soyeon found solace on a wooden bench right in front of the resto bar they were at. Taking in a breath of fresh air, she calmly let her eyelids come to a close, recounting a few funny moments of the night in her head.
Hearing footsteps approach, she was too tired to even react. So, until the new presence took a seat next to her, gently bumping his frame against hers.
âYou okay there?â Johnny asked, half-lidded eyes and clearly tipsy grin.
Soyeon laughed at his goofy demeanour. âShouldnât I be the one to ask that?â
Johnny frowned at her teasing before laughing with her. He could never fool her.
âYouâre still a light-weight Johnny Suh.â
âYou still go out for fresh air between your 3rd and 4th bottle of Soju Lee Soyeon.â
Soyeon looked at Johnny softly, offering him a genuine smile, large from ear to ear. But he saw it, he immediately noticed the nostalgia that filled her pupils. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the person himself, but before she could even comprehend it, tears welled her eyes as memories flooded her mind. Nothing bad. Only the good ones. All the times she would be with Johnny, just like now, small banter, comfortable silence, and unspoken feelings as clear as source water.
âIâm sorry Yeon.â Johnny was the first to break the silence, turning away from their stare-off contest, holding back his own tears.
âI am sorry too.â Soyeon whispered, loud enough for both of them to hear.
Without hesitation, Johnny reached out to grab Soyeonâs hand in his. Only for the comfort. They both needed it. The reassurance that times had changed but the essence of their duo was still there somewhere.
The next day.Â
The constant buzzing of oneâs phone is not exactly the best alarm to wake up to, yet, Soyeon was greeted by none other than that. Groaning lazily as she reached for it, she could only be even more annoyed by the culprit.
Taeyongâs wit seemed to have left his body that Saturday morning as he was spamming her inbox  with cute messages, probably trying to make up for the previous nightâs clearly premeditated coup. Amongst the dozens of notifications from the morning evil, there was one from Ten as well, apologising for his dense remark for which she was not even bothered by but also, a message from Johnny.
Text from: Johnny Suh
Up for brunch?
Sighing, as an unconscious smile graced her lips, she could feel her heart flutter at the mere recollection of the previous nightâs drunken episode. Nothing besides apologies had been exchanged yet, her spirits could not help themselves but be hopeful. This was Suh Youngho, Johnny, her best friend up until a year ago. The good entente between them was still there, maybe they could resume wherever the blurred line at which they had left things would allow.
Meeting him at where was once their go-to spot, Soyeon easily spotted the 6ft gentleman, seated at the far back, close enough to the open kitchen and bar area, in order to take in the morning freshly brewed coffee aroma but also far enough from the entrance to prevent any distraction from their surroundings. Their table.
Brunch turned out to be simple coffee, both couldnât stomach anything but the dark beverage since remnants of the previous nightâs booze still haunted their systems.
âRespectfully, you look like shit.â Johnny said, his whisker smile showing before a painful groan escaped his lips as Soyeon gave him a well-deserved jab to the shoulder.
âRespectfully, I wasnât the one to tap out after barely finishing a single bottle of soju, peach soju at that, not even soju at its pure sanctity.â
âOh, shut up drunkard.â
They both laughed before falling into casual conversation. Johnny had the most to say since he had missed last yearâs reunion.
âDoyoung and Joy are still karaoke maniacs. Imagine if Taeil was there to compete.â He exclaimed, taking a quiet sip from his coffee.
âOh please, consider yourself lucky; you are forced to hear the marathon only once a year; I on the other hand, do not benefit from this luxury.â
âPerks of being on the move for work.â Soyeon smiled at his remark, only slightly less. Sensing the shift in mood, Johnny cleared his throat. âI really am sorry Yeon.â
Maintaining soft eye-contact with him, she nodded. âI am sorry too Johnny.â
âI know.â You could see that he was looking for words and so was she. So much was left unsaid. After all, they had never fought, there never was a particular incident that shifted their dynamics. At some point, they simply, stopped maintaining their friendship and that was it.
âItâs funny you knowâ Johnny continued, âPeople asked me, what happened between us, but I was never really able to give them an answer.â
âThatâs because, nothing happened.â Soyeon remarked with a bittersweet smile.
âExactly. I just- I guess I did not know what to do anymore.â
âI struggled too.â Soyeon admitted, her tone showing great emotion. âI always wondered if I did something wrong. You confessed and I needed time. I confessed and you needed time. But then you changed.â
âIt just felt too good to be true, and then the timing was never right. I got new opportunities with work, and I guess- I guess burying myself in work is the choice I inevitably made.â Johnny concluded, regret apparent on his face but the smile Soyeon showed told him that it was okay.
âI know, and I am proud of you. I always knew that you would reach the stars. The only thing that left a bitter taste in my mouth was that... the last time you went MIA, you promised me that you would be more upfront about needing your space. But you ignored my messages, if I invited you over, youâd say that youâd come and then never show up. I called you saying I was dropping by, but you were never home, and then suddenly you were somewhere in Japan on business for months, without even saying goodbye.â
âThatâs the thing, I really wanted to tell you everything, that I was confused, but-â
âBut you ran away from us.â
âThatâs not fair. I didnât want to run away, I just, I didnât know if you were being sincere. After all, you confessed only after I got closer to Irene.â
The arguments were becoming more poignant but both of them remained calm, this was not even a fight, more of an honest conversation, long overdue.
âI never felt threatened by Irene on a romantic level. I was only scared to lose my best friend. Your friendship with her is not what prompted me to confess. I knew of my feelings for a while, I just never found the right time until they grew so much that it became impossible to hide it all.â
âBut why would you want to hide your feelings, itâs not like they werenât reciprocated!â
They both laughed at the irony.Â
âI know, but I was still scared. I did not want to lose our friendship â what if things did not work out between us.â
Johnny looked at her dearly, simply nodding, because he knew, that all she ever wanted, was for him to stay by her side. She never asked for anything but his friendship. But he could not do that then and even now. He was due in Singapore the very next day. This conversation could lead to somewhere, but the circumstances prevented him from spreading the hope that she obviously held from the sparkle that shone in her eyes despite the heavy conversation they just had.
âThank you.â He said, âFor agreeing to talk things out and settle it all.â The sentence came out much more nonchalantly that he had wished for, and you could see the pain in Soyeonâs now watering eyes, but she smiled nonetheless.
âHe must have a reason.â She thought; he had to have a reason for bringing the topic up, and then leaving her high and dry.
âThank you too, for giving me a chance to speak my mind as well.â
Three years later.
âOolong fresh tea to-go for Soyeon.â The barista announced on a sing-song pitch. Soyeon hurried to grab her order, thanking the barista with as big of a smile that she could show for a Monday morning.
âSoyeon is that you?â Turning around, surprised, there, in flesh, Johnny Suh stood before her, looking as dapper as ever.
âFancy seeing you here.â He announced, reaching for a friendly hug which she returned warmly.
âI did not know that you were back in Seoul.â She stated, still in disbelief, following Johnny as he naturally guided them both to an empty table.
Scratching the back of his nape with a bashful smile, âCame back last week.â Looking at her with what could only be defined as adoration, he added, âFor good this time.â
Soyeon was not dumb, she immediately understood the weight of his words. He was finally back. Johnny Suh was finally in the same place as her, and this time, he would not be leaving. But she could not dwell on it, not anymore.
âSo, tell me, how was California?â
âIt was great, but extremely tiring. Youâd think that I would be more comfortable to be this close to Chicago, but I missed Seoul more than planned.â
âThatâs so unlike the Johnny Suh that I knew.â Soyeon teased, settling in to have her to-go order in-house in the end.
âReally?â Johnny laughed, before getting comfortable as well, showing nothing but complete attention to her. âAnd how exactly was the Johnny Suh that you knew?â
Soyeon did not even need to think about it as she started, âWell for starters, I would never see him grab coffee this early when heâd really rather make his own at home.â
âI donât know, you used to always fuss about wanting to see the World and explo-â
Soyeonâs sentence got interrupted mid-way as her phone started ringing. Johnny threw an inadvertent look at her phone, not trying to pry, but really accidentally and the name that showed up was enough to take his breath away.
Soyeonâs conversation was light, but Johnny immediately noticed the sparkle in her eyes, the smile that found her lips as she listened to Jaehyun. A minute later, the phone call was cut, and she pursues.
âSorry about that, Jaehyun says hi by the way.â
Johnny smiled. He could only do that much. Of course, he would say hi. From what he had heard, Jaehyun was a great guy. Taeyong would not shut up about him and how well he integrated their tight-knit entourage.
âWhat was I telling you again?â
âYou were telling me about my want to travelâŠâ Johnny said, with as much calmness as he could.
âAh yes, you always wanted to explore. It is so unlike you to settle back here.â
âJust wanted to find a sense of home again.â He stated. a bittersweet smile to his lips as he sipped on his Americano. âHome is where the heart is.â He thought, looking at her with nothing but fondness once again. She looked so happy.
Their conversation continued, two old friends catching up. He did his best to keep it going as long as it could, after all, it had been so long since he last felt so enthused. Alas, nothing could follow through. They were only, two old friends catching up. With a promise to meet again but no concrete plans ever made. At the end of the day, that was all it could ever be. The beautiful diamond band that laced her left ring finger was a clear enough reminder. He was too late. âThe timing was never right, and thatâs okay,â he thought.
genre: slice-of-life / angst / bestfriends-au
word count: 1.3k+
âI think that we need time away from each other.â Jaehyun announced solemnly, daring himself to pronounce these words while maintaining eye-contact with an unsuspecting you.Â
The deafening silence was rapidly settling in. You could however hear your heart beat slower and slower per the second. What a strange feeling. It first came with a skipped beat, then you could swear that your heart dropped all the way to your gut. And eventually it came right back to its initial position, only now it was beating horribly slow, as if it was fighting for the strength to carry on.
Whilst the expression adorned to your face was rather passive, the look of betrayal that flooded your eyes easily gave away your current feelings. Jaehyun however, looked totally fine. He looked unaffected by the news he had just broken to you or better said the decision he had abruptly come up with when no later than last night, he had been whispering sweet nothings into your ears.
You struggled to find the right words, the right questions but nothing besides wanting a reason haunted your mind.Â
âW-Why?â you asked, feeling your throat grit with this simple word. Simple but bearing the weight of your overwhelming confusion. It felt like he was breaking up with you, ironic really, when you were not even in a relationship to begin with.Â
Johnny x fem!reader (ft. Ten & i namedropped Mark)Â
Word count: 4.3k
Warning: mentions needles and tattoos (placement on forearm and wrists), arguments, breaking up, angst
Note: if it isnât obvious from how almost all my writings involve angst, i have a strange liking for writing angst and i just really wanted to write something that involved Johnnyâs tattoo because i honestly think itâs really cute and represents him really well too!
âYou want to do something crazy?â Johnny asks you after the two of you got your coffee from the cafe youâve been hanging out at for the past few weeks. He looked at you as if challenging to see if you were daring enough. âSure.â
This story illustrates that one bittersweet lovestory that we all at some point go through, platonic or not, the relationship that allows you to grow, the one that teaches you about yourself more than you would have thought until it is finally time to let goâŠ
Simplicity of the sunflower and its sun đ»âïž
Warning: angst, cursing, insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. let me know if i missed out on anything! // i also translated Mark's song, 'Child' and included two of my own poems in this au so please be nice about it and don't repost or copy them without permission, thank you <3
Note: happy birthday to my favourite boy, Mark Lee <3 guys, i love him so much i donât even know how to explain it. so i wrote an au for his birthday hehe, iâve been working on this for a few weeks and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! go and wish our adorable boy Mark Lee a happy birthday! i love you Mark Lee, youâll always be my favourite boy! have a blessed birthday <3
i also made a playlist for this au, you can check it out if you want ~
You first met Mark Lee in your European Literature class.Â
You really only noticed him that day because he had his guitar with him. And he was the only person who replied with, âThatâs meâ when your professor took attendance, since it was the first class of the semester. That was all you really remember of Mark Lee todate.Â
You shared two classes with him, since you were both English majors.Â
Mark was in both your European Lit class and your Creative Writing class. You have never spoken to him before, but in a class for creative writing, you donât have to talk to a person to know about them. In a class where students are expected to pour their hearts out on paper to get an âA+â, all you really had to do was listen.Â
âToday, I will pick a few poems posted on our class forum and weâll invite the poet to read it out to the class for workshopping! Yea? Okay, letâs start,â your creative writing professor, Dr. Sung excitedly announced.Â
Every other week, Dr. Sung gives a certain theme or genre of Literature and everyone is expected to post their work onto the class forum. In class, he would select as many works as the three hour seminar allowed.Â
The chosen work would be read out loud to the class by the writer and then hereâs the scariest part.Â
Death of the author.Â
The chosen student was not allowed to speak, agree or rebut with any feedback for about fifteen minutes. Sometimes it goes on for slightly longer. Only towards the end, the student would share a bit about their piece before Dr. Sung moves onto someone else.Â
Of course, ground rules were set from day one. Constructive feedback only. And no hard feelings, this was what a real writer goes through. Every published work would have its fans and people who simply prefer other works. Some feedback are harder to accept than others, but everyone in this class was really professional and nice so it wasnât as intimidating as you expected it to be.Â
This weekâs focus was on poetry. To be honest, you struggled with it. Sure, rhyme might be seen as old-fashion now unless youâre writing rap. But poems should still have some rhyme, no? You tried to squeeze something out that had some kind of well-known poetry style. Maybe a Sonnet? Maybe even a Haiku, or the toughest of all (in my humble opinion â tmi i actually died attempting to write one for class LOL), a Sestina. You ended up just going with a free verse, since it flowed out of you the best.
âLetâs see⊠who wrote âOathâ?â Dr. Sung started and that sent the ball rolling.Â
âOathâ was a wonderful poem, it was written by a girl that sat two rows in front of you. You always thought she wrote really beautifully. In the three weeks of class, she got picked all three times and every one of them were good. Even the ones that she didnât get to workshop in class were good.Â
You had a habit of just reading everything on the forum after class each week. Sometimes for some inspiration when youâre stuck or just because you found it so interesting. What someone writes can give you so much more insight to their mind than what they choose to tell you. Not that you spoke to many of your classmates anyways, but you sure enjoy reading their works. It amused you how they were all so good at what they do.Â
âOh this one looks interesting! âMy Enemyâ, by⊠y/n is it?âÂ
You hear your name being called out by Dr. Sung and you freeze for a bit. You were hoping you werenât going to be picked this week. Your palms immediately turned clammy.Â
You timidly raised your hands when Dr. Sung started looking out for your face in the classroom. Upon spotting you, he nods and smiles. âGo on, read for us.âÂ
You gulp and stare at your laptop screen, taking a deep breath before you start.Â
âMy Enemy by y/n
everything feels fine
and i grow increasingly uncomfortableÂ
sadness is my safety net and loneliness
a blanket that provides comfortÂ
i seem to seek solace and find peace in everything that hurts me
i have an appetite for melancholyÂ
i am the only person who doesnât want me to be happy
will anyone help me fight off my own enemy?âÂ
You dare not look up from your laptop screen, the lump in your throat seemingly getting more uncomfortable. So you take a sip of water and spend your own sweet time closing your water bottle.Â
Dr. Sung thanked you for reading and opened the floor for feedback that got your heart thumping rapidly in your chest. This is the part of your creative writing class that you loved and also feared. What would people say? Will they like it?Â
And youâre literally silenced because again, âDeath of the authorâ.Â
A timid hand popped up and Dr. Sung nodded in the studentâs direction.Â
âUm⊠first of all, I like it,â he stops to chuckle and looks towards you, seemingly thinking about how to phrase his thoughts properly.Â
When your eyes met, you recognised him as the guitar boy, Mark. You offer him a smile of appreciation for his mini confession.Â
âI really like the⊠third line? âsadness is a safety net and loneliness a blanketâ, technically, these arenât very comfortable emotions to have right? So I think your choice to compare them to items or things that provide a sense of security and comfort⊠yea. I really like the oxymoron nature of this stanza. Oh! And I really like using questions in my poems too, so I just thought that was cool,â Mark stops and gives you a few assuring nods. You nod back at him, acknowledging his feedback as you type some of what he said down.Â
Dr. Sung was about to thank Mark before moving on when he chips in again. âRight, one more thing. Sorry prof⊠I know y/n canât reply right now because, âdeath of the authorâ but I just wanted to ask because this sounds like such a sad poem, um⊠are you okay?âÂ
His question causes a couple of hushed chuckles and laughter from a few students, yourself included. Dr. Sung thanks him and moves onto the next student who has his hand raised. The fifteen minutes run by rather quickly for you this time and youâre busy typing away the feedback that stood out to you.Â
âOkay y/n, take us away. Talk about your poem a little bit,â Dr. Sung said as he walked closer to where youâre seated.Â
You cleared your throat before you started.Â
âWell, I wrote this a while ago. You know, it was just one of those nights where my thoughts were a little heavy. But I would say itâs a little exaggerated. I wasnât that sad. But of course, there were times in my life where it does feel like my mind is my biggest enemy. And I think Iâm not the only one who feels this way.â You said and looked at Dr. Sung who nodded.Â
âSo the question at the end? Was it a deliberate choice? I mean you chose to include a question right?â Dr. Sung probed.Â
You smacked your lips together in thought, âYea, I guess itâs rather rhetorical? When youâre in a battle with your own mind. Arenât you the only one who can save yourself? Even if people come to your rescue, itâs still your choice to step out of this hard place.âÂ
âWonderful. Okay, now you can answer Markâs question. Are you okay? He wants to know,â Dr. Sung reiterated Markâs prior question, eliciting laughter from the class again.Â
You chuckle before nodding, âYes, Iâm okay. Things arenât terrible, so Iâm grateful, really.âÂ
You and Mark lock eyes for the third time that day and his smile seems to awaken a butterfly or two in your tummy. So you quickly look away, trying to tame the butterflies that fluttered deep within you.Â
âThank y/n for sharing such a raw piece with us! Mark, letâs hear from you next,â Dr. Sung said as he went to his desktop in front of class to pull up Markâs poem on the class forum to display it.Â
Mark flips open his notebook, one with tabs and scribbles on almost every page. He pushes his glasses up before he begins reading.Â
âLate night scribbling by Mark Lee
Good nightÂ
To me, these two words feel like the vast sky
Darkness, but not hollowÂ
Black but not bitterÂ
Far but close enough to wonderÂ
Is it reachable?
Can feelings get so real, that they become tangible?Â
A spacious bed for me and my thoughts to sleep inÂ
Head above pillow and a question above my headÂ
Insomnia feel like drought because all I do is look up, thinkingÂ
Will it ever, ever come?âÂ
âOkay, anyone! Anyone at all, GO!â Dr. Sung exclaimed excitedly as he urged for feedback. Dr. Sung is quite an eccentric professor. He always has so much energy and is literally bouncing around for the three hours youâre in class with him.Â
Someone starts by mentioning his title and the way itâs striked through. Others commented on his effective use of questions. That despite them being rhetorical questions, it invites readers to ponder about those questions.Â
âI like it but thanks to you, I might be thinking about these questions instead of sleeping tonight. So thanks Mark,â one of your classmates, Renjun, said and caused the class to laugh. Mark and Dr. Sung included.Â
Dr. Sung asks the class for any last feedback and you bite your tongue. Instead, you busy yourself with typing something to comment under Markâs poem on the class forum.Â
With no one else giving any more feedback, Dr. Sung invites Mark to talk about his poem.Â
âI just couldnât sleep and instead of trying to calm my mind so that I could possibly sleep, I started thinking about all these questions that I didnât have the answers to. So um⊠I got up and started writing,â he said, waving his little notebook in his hand.Â
âRight, so do you actually have a hard time sleeping? OrâŠâ Dr. Sung asks, trying to pull more meaning out of Mark.Â
âSometimes, yea. This poem isnât actually completed IââÂ
âYou fell asleep midway?â Dr. Sung interrupted, causing Mark to laugh.Â
You think Mark has a really contagious laugh because that was such a dad joke and yet, you found yourself laughing along with him.
âIâ I just couldnât find a way to wrap it up nicely? But I think it works well on its own now too. Maybe Iâll complete it in time for the poetry assignment. But, uh, yea. I think I really like using questions because itâs like a reader-response thing you know? I donât want to just tell and show you how to feel. I want you to think about how you feel, when you read what I write. Do you agree? Do you not? Thatâs up to you,â Mark ends and slowly closes his notebook.
Mark was back in his apartment.Â
A small, cosy two-room flat thatâs slightly off campus. He shares it with Haechan, his childhood friend, who he honestly hated for a while. But theyâre as close as brothers now, so all is good and well.Â
He was scrolling through the creative writing class forum, just looking at all the poems Dr. Sung missed out during class. That was when he noticed that someone had commented under his post for this week.Â
- y/ntruly: seems like you have trouble sleeping. are YOU okay? -Â
Mark canât help but smile at his screen, his interest towards you peaking more than it did in class today. Not only because he liked your poem and appreciated how vulnerable your poetic voice is. Mark also thought you were really pretty.Â
He noticed you on the first day of class. He remembers packing his things to leave as he draped his guitar over his shoulder. He got up to leave when he laid his eyes on you, talking to the professor after class. Your eyes trained on your laptop screen as you tugged a few strays of hair behind your ear, preventing them from blocking your vision.Â
Mark almost tripped but that wasnât the point. He wondered how you could look so cute even with confusion plastered all over your face. He remembers holding back a chuckle before he walked out of the lecture hall, just glad that he would be able to see you again next week.Â
European Literature class finally comes to an end and you rush to pack your things so you can catch your professor before she leaves for her next lecture.Â
Markâs packing his laptop into his bag when he notices you scurrying up to the professor again. With your face, scrunched slightly in concentration, his heart canât help but flutter a bit. He wonders if he should go up to you after youâre done talking to the professor. He wonders if the two of you can get to be friends, especially after that short interaction online the other day.Â
He snaps back to reality when he hears your laughter. Your laptop is now closed and youâre just chatting with your professor. Just as Markâs done packing his belongings, you greet your professor goodbye and begin walking towards the exit.Â
Mark has no idea what heâs doing, itâs as if his body has a mind of its own. He rushes to sling his bag onto his shoulder before heâs trailing behind you. Youâre nice enough to hold the door open for him and he manages to say a quick âthank youâ before he opens his mouth to speak again.Â
âYâ youâre y/n, right?â Mark hesitantly asks, even though he knows he wouldnât ever mistake you for someone else and he curses himself in the head for stuttering.Â
You nod excitedly, your sparkling eyes looking up at him. âAnd youâre Mark, youâre in creative writing too right?âÂ
Mark canât help but smile at you, nodding in reply. He initially feared that things would be awkward if he ever came up to say hi. Seeing your reaction now eases him but it doesnât do anything to tame the rapid beating of his heart.Â
He swears he has never been this courageous. Mark was just planning to say a quick âHiâ and âSee you aroundâ. But it seems like his subconscious had other plans, perhaps he couldnât help it. He was just so drawn to you since day one.Â
âAre you heading off for another class?â Mark asks you and you tell him European Lit is your last class for today. He feels a wave of relief wash over him and he tugs at the drawstrings of his hoodie before he speaks again.Â
âWould you like to grab dinner with me?â
The room is dim with only your laptop screens illuminating the small space. Mark stretches his arms upwards from beside you, yawning in the process. His eyelids are heavy and he canât even be bothered to push his glasses up from the tip of his nose.Â
âDude, I canât do this anymore,â He mumbles as he leans his head, flat on the table.Â
Itâs currently 2AM and the two of you have been working on essays for the past few hours. The two of you have multiple essay assignments to submit for midterms and have decided to stay up all night at his place to complete your essays for European Lit together.
After having dinner together that fateful day after class, a beautiful friendship started to blossom between the two of you. In a couple of weeks, the two of you were almost inseparable. You would meet every other day for all kinds of reasons. To eat together before classes. To eat after classes. To study the night away together. Or simply to just get a midnight snack.Â
It was easy to always be around each other since the two of you found out you only lived a couple blocks away from Mark. He was sweet enough to walk you home every time you two would study or stay out till late at night. Even if the streets are empty, Mark always says that he simply doesnât like the idea of you walking down the street alone at night.Â
You lean closer to Mark to peek at his laptop screen. He was about done with his essay, only one more paragraph and the conclusion was left. You look down at Mark who was still resting his head on his table.Â
âCome on, Mark. Youâre almost done,â you said in a cheery tone in hopes of encouraging him.Â
You were tired too but you knew it would only benefit the both of you if you guys finished the essay soon. Mark groaned as he lifted his head up and turned to look at you. He lets out a sigh and gets back to typing for barely two seconds before heâs sighing again.Â
You canât help but chuckle as you reach up to ruffle his hair, something you started doing in the moments where you found Mark irresistibly endearing. And Mark would never admit out loud but whatever you just did gave him more energy than any cup of tea ever would.Â
Itâs a little past 3AM now and youâre both finally done with your European Lit essays. Youâre still on your laptop, sorting out the secondary sources you were going to use for another essay that youâll start on the next day. While Mark has already escaped to his bed, strumming lightly on his guitar.Â
The soft melody starts to get to you. Your tiredness suddenly becomes all the more present as you shake your head slightly to keep yourself awake.Â
Suddenly, Markâs strumming comes to a shrieking halt. You hear him fumble out of his relaxed position on his bed and walk back towards his study table where you were seated. He pulls out his black notebook that you know too well by now out from his bag and flipped to a half filled page.
âGot inspired?â You asked with a light-hearted laugh. And Mark only hums in response as he scribbles away in his notebook.Â
Aside from essays, the two of you had to submit a poetry assignment for creative writing class. There were three main assignments for this class. A fictional prose, poetry and multimedia assignment. The two of you have been writing and proofreading each otherâs work for the past few weeks. In your opinion, this was really the core of your friendship with Mark.Â
No two poets write the same way. And even though the both of you have your own writing styles, you seem to hover around really similar themes. Your poems spoke more about yourselves than you two would like to show. But thatâs the beauty of poetry. You canât help but be sentimental and vulnerable. Showing someone your poetry is letting them into places of your mind that isnât freely accessible by anyone else.Â
It is laying your heart out to someone and allowing them to really see you.Â
It surprised you really how naturally it played out with Mark. How instead of shying away from sharing your works with him, you wanted to know what he thought about them. For Mark too, poetry was cathartic for him. An outlet for the many thoughts that drowned him at night. And here he is laying them down for you to see.Â
This vulnerability you had with one another only seems to strengthen the connection you have with Mark. You would never say this out loud but you feel like Mark was the only person in the world who truly knows you.Â
âIâm done. I think itâs complete.â Mark tells you in confidence as he puts his pen down, pushing his notebook towards you.Â
âChild by Mark Lee
I pull at the strings when I'm pissed
Only a few know that I'mÂ
Twisted, but the fittest to a pointÂ
My mind is the Earth
That resolves around my dream â
Who's the sun â all dayÂ
I'm alert, it's a curse and it hurts
I don't know my own strength
There's a lot that I don't know
But you learn when you donât knowÂ
Red on my Valentino
I'll break away from all my responsibilities
Until I'm freeÂ
I don't want to look backÂ
Can I be a stranger to this society?
How'd I get so bitter? Brother liquor
I don't feel the same
Once it's all done won't you
Tell me later
I'm a child
Can't mould into how you want meÂ
Have a good night
There's no need for lullabies
It's my own questions, many questions
How do others see me?
Who am I? Who will I be?Â
Many different nights with the same nightmares
Would there be anyone who can relate?
Even for a bit, can anyone understand this troubled kid?â
âSo, um. Wâ what do you think?â Mark asks hesitantly.Â
âI think itâs great⊠but I know you and I donât think youâre twisted though,â you tell him earnestly.Â
He chuckles and slowly closes his notebook, âYouâve read my stuff, you know I am.â
âMark, how do you think others see you?â You ask timidly. Mark ponders about for a bit before he leans back in his chair.
âI think like you, many people think Iâm a nice guy. But more importantly, to me⊠Iâm not a nice guy.â He tells you sincerely, looking at you with glossy eyes. A heavy silence plagues the room, you look at him and your heart aches for the boy in front of you.
âI wish you could see yourself the way I see you,â you tell him wholeheartedly. In this moment, warmth spreads through Markâs heart and he has never yearned for you more. Thereâs a quiet understanding between the two of you and Mark gently pats your head as a âthank youâ.Â
Mark quickly breaks the silence as he gets up from his chair and goes, âItâs getting late, Iâll walk you home.â
Itâs week 10. And you want to rip your hair out.Â
Midterms were over and done. Both you and Mark did pretty well for the modules you took together. But as the weeks draw closer to finals, the stress only continues to build. Some days are better than others, but today was not a good day.Â
Nothing has been going well for you. You woke up late for creative writing class and poor Mark waited for you at the bus stop near your apartments until you arrived. If he didnât call you to check if you were awake, you would have slept through the whole duration of the class with how tired youâve been.Â
âYou shouldnât have waited for me Mark, now youâll be late too,â you told him when you finally got to the bus stop. Yet all this sweet friend of yours did was smile and passed you your cup of coffee he bought from a cafe nearby while he was waiting for you.Â
âWe always go to class together, it wouldnât be nice to just ditch you. Plus, I already got you your coffee.â Mark told you while the two of you scurried into the bus.Â
âYouâre really the best Mark, what would I do without you?âÂ
Now itâs after creative writing class and youâre both studying in the library together. In class today, everyone mainly went round to present their proposal for their final multimedia project. The both of you had quite a bit to rethink in regards to your projects, but more so you than Mark.Â
And you really mean it, if not for Mark being around to listen to your concerns about your project and giving you sound advice, you wouldnât know what to do. Maybe you would have really started ripping your hair out.Â
âHonestly, Dr. Sung is a really chill professor and heâs really open-minded too. Donât let the classâ feedback cloud your judgement of your own project. I honestly think itâs a great idea. The only concern I have is whether you have enough time to put everything together? That aside, Iâm all for your project and from Dr. Sungâs reaction when you were presenting in class, he seemed to like it too.âÂ
You listen to Mark with your lower lips protruding out, forming a pout. So many thoughts are running through your mind and itâs getting a little noisy for you to think straight. You know Mark is right and you should listen to yourself before anyone else since it is your project. So you just nod in reply, mind still in overdrive.Â
âOkay, thatâs enough. Letâs take a break before I have to run to my next class,â Mark said as he stood up from his seat in front of you. He walks to your side of the table and offers his hand. You put your hand in his and allow him to pull you out of your seat.Â
The two of you left the depressing part of the library and entered one of the resting pods that were at the east side of your campus library. The resting pods were large enough for two to three people to rest from studying. The pods had bean bag chairs and speakers and a TV that you could connect to to watch movies.Â
Youâre both leaning on a bean bag chair each, talking about anything else but work. Mark said he wants to get his own mind off his essays and finals. But you know that he was trying to distract you from overthinking about your creative project. Mark could read you like an open book. Not because you were an open book at all. In fact, you would like to think that it usually isnât easy for people to build a deep connection or friendship with you.
You were just selective. Itâs not that you didnât want to have friends. You just found that having a handful of friends is more than enough. You did most things alone anyways. Which is why youâre so amused by how attached youâve grown to Mark and vice versa.Â
Mark is a bit more outgoing than you were. He was friendly and approachable, overall he was a really nice guy. Heâs a good and loyal friend to all his friends and would really try to help with whatever he could. It was as if it was in his nature to love those around him and treat them kindly. And you always thought the most admirable quality a person can have is the ability to love others.Â
But like you, he struggled to let people in completely. His personality doesnât make it come off like heâs shutting people out. It was obvious, however, that not everyone knew him as deeply as they think they do.Â
It was a mystery how the two of you, who were so used to guarding your hearts out of instinct, seem to willingly offer it to each other. It was as if Mark already knew how you were feeling before you even spoke about what was bothering you. And you were already always there when he needed a listening ear or simply some silent company.Â
As the weeks went by with Mark on your side, you wondered if this was really just a simple friendship between two souls and nothing more. Could it ever be more?Â
âAnyways, Iâve decided. Iâm going to make a song out of âChildâ for my multimedia project. I think I can do more with it anyways,â Mark told you after your previous conversation ended.Â
âYou really should, you have the talent to do it. Iâll be looking forward to it, Mark Lee, donât forget me when you get famous okay?â You jokingly teased him, even though you truly meant it when you said you were excited to see how it turns out.Â
Youâve heard Mark play multiple instruments, his room alone is decorated with a few instruments and devices that he uses to make music. You havenât heard Mark play something that was not pleasing to the ears.Â
Mark lightly shoved you when you continued to tease him, singing one of his songs that he played for you before, in the privacy of his apartment. But he canât help the smile that creeped up to his face or the butterflies that are going crazy in the pit of his stomach. He has long given up trying to tame them everytime you flash a smile at him, or when you casually compliment him like you just did. Even upon receiving a text from you would set the butterflies off.Â
âIâll make sure you get the first listen when Iâm done with it then,â Mark tells you and you make him pinky promise you, which he did.Â
Mark takes a look at his phone and realises he has fifteen minutes left till his next class starts, so the two of you decide to pack up and leave the library.Â
The two of you are walking to the building next to the library where Markâs next class was. The bus stop outside the building also had a bus that goes straight to your apartment building so you would usually walk with Mark class.Â
âAnyways, thank you for helping me get my mind off the project for a bit, I think I know what to do with it now,â you tell him honestly just as youâre about to reach the bus stop.Â
âItâs nothing, Iâm your friend, Iâll always be here to help you. You know that right?â Mark replies as he bumps his shoulder lightly into yours, causing your hands to brush against each other. There he goes again, saying things that make your heart swell. Mark is such a precious friend, a friend. How rare is it to find a friend who knows you through and through and is still kind enough to stick around? You shouldnât let your feelings get in the way.
So you only nod firmly, âIâll always be here for you too.âÂ
Mark mumbles out a soft, âI knowâ before the rumble of the bus engine can be heard.
âYour bus is here,â Mark tells you as he waves for the bus. You gently push your glasses up and follow him.Â
âText me when you get home safely yea? Iâll see you tomorrow!â Mark says loud enough for you to hear him over the screech of the bus tires as it halts in front of you.Â
You bid him goodbye and he stays at the bus stop till he sees you settle on a seat. Mark waves you goodbye with the cutest smile on his face and you hope he canât see the pink tint that you know is appearing on your cheeks. You wave back at him as the bus engine revives to drive off.
The last creative writing class is tomorrow, which is also the day everyone will showcase their multimedia projects.Â
Youâre at Markâs place (again), itâs your third night over in a row this week and Haechan isnât even shocked anymore when he sees you getting a snack from their shared kitchen. He even cooked dinner for you and Mark yesterday.Â
You an Mark have been studying for your European Lit finals together the past two days and tonight, the two of you are rushing to complete your assignments together. You donât work as well when youâre alone at home, since your apartment is too comfy for you to work productively in. Which is why youâve been studying with Mark everyday this week.Â
It was good to always have a second opinion on essay theses and for someone to proofread your work too. The two of you work really well together and you enjoyed each otherâs company so you donât see a problem. Plus, Haechan really doesnât mind it, itâs not like the two of you would bother him anyways.Â
Youâre putting the last of your art zine together for your multimedia project and Mark was rushing to submit his War Literature essay that was due at 12AM. So it was mostly silent, only frantic typing and the sound of flipping paper filled the room.Â
âIâm done! Iâm done, shit. Finally, I thought I was never going to finish it,â Mark exclaimed as the typing sounds came to a halt. You could only chuckle at his reaction, muttering out âwhat a champâ while you continue to glue small, detailed decorations on your printed art zine.Â
Once he was done submitting it, he turned to you, his face adorning a half smile â the one where he smiles while biting onto his lower lips. He does this often when he has something exciting or funny to say. You can feel his eyes boring holes into your soul as he waits for you to notice his excitement.Â
âYes?â You prompt him as you put the glue stick down on his table and turn to face him.Â
He chuckled before he leaned in closer and muttered, âWant to listen to the song?âÂ
And your eyes wided instantly, your mouth agape. Itâs as if Markâs excitement was transferred to you, you were so busy you almost forgot that he promised to give you the first listen.Â
âAre you crazy? Of course I want to listen to it,â you blurt out. Mark can only laugh at your reaction, causing his nose to crunch up and you think he looks so cute like this.Â
He connects his speakers to his laptop and pulls up a few tabs. Â
âOkay you have to tell me what you think about the song honestly, okay? Like truthfully.â Mark tells you as he swings his right hand to and fro, imitating a chopping action that he does often when he talks about things seriously.Â
âPlease, have I ever been untruthful with you?â You snapped back as you clicked your tongue.Â
Mark finally plays the song and you turn quiet, listening to the song attentively while bobbing your head lightly to the intro.Â
Then Markâs voice fills your ears and you canât help but feel surprised. Itâs not that youâve never heard him sing before, because you have. But never like that, itâs usually just him singing casually as he strums his guitar to his favourite songs.Â
This song was one of his own and it might just be the best one he has ever done. How he turned a simple poem into this, you could not fathom.
It wasnât a ballad or the kind of emotional song that would make you cry. But knowing Mark and then listening to this song, it evoked a different kind of emotion that you couldnât quite describe. You could almost feel his own bitterness and pain. And itâs enough to make you want to cry.Â
Everything slows down towards the end, he sings the last few questions that were your favourite parts of the poem since you first read it.Â
âWould there be anyone who can relate?Â
Even for a bit, can anyone understand this troubled kid?â
And then the beat picks up again, as you look at Mark. He had an eyebrow raised expectantly but his expression was morphed with worry. Your eyes are glossed over and you try to put your thoughts together to give Mark something, anything.Â
You release a breath you didnât even know you were holding and nodded. âDude, itâs so good.âÂ
Markâs face relaxed into a genuine smile, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He thought it was one of his best works, both the poem and the song. But it wouldnât matter what he thinks if you didnât like it.Â
âReally? Donât lie to me,â Mark said, trying to hide the smile that he couldn't hold back.Â
You put your hand over his hand that was on his mouse, which causes him to freeze.Â
âMark, I love it. If I were Dr. Sung, this would be an A.âÂ
There it goes, the butterflies are going insane.Â
Youâre still editing your write up for your presentation tomorrow and Mark was sitting quietly beside you, studying European Literature. You read and reread your write up and then you did a final check of the pdf version of your art zine that you were going to show to the class.Â
You sit back in your chair, removing your glasses to rub your tired eyes. After putting your glasses back on, you turn to Mark to ask if he wants to look through your write up with you.Â
âMark, can yoââ you silenced yourself when you took in his figure. Mark has both arms folded on his table, his head resting on them. His mouth slightly opened as his glasses hung at the tip of his nose. He looks so peaceful and you would feel so bad to wake him up right now. So you decided that the proofreading can wait.Â
You donât mean to stare but you couldnât help yourself.Â
It seemed harder and harder to hide your feelings recently. Especially these three days when youâre over at Markâs place. You didnât even bring your sweater today because Mark told you that you could just wear one of his hoodies. And he even offered you to stay the night since youâll be going to the same class the next morning.
Mark treats you really nicely and you feel like youâre over analysing everything that he does at this point. Mark is probably just being a good friend when he does these sweet things, he is always nice to everyone so what makes you special? Then again, people always say that girls and guys can never be just friends. But you know very well that your friendship with Mark is genuine and built on something more than just that fluttering feeling in your chest.Â
You sigh quietly to yourself as you stare at your friendâs sleeping figure. How can he look so good even when heâs asleep? You reach out to gently tug his glasses off his face so that he can sleep more comfortably.Â
Once you got it off his face, you folded it and placed it on the table beside him. You rarely see Mark without his glasses but even so, you think your heart is being ridiculous with how fast itâs beating. You lean in to admire his features and your hand reaches out to delicately pat his head, he must be so tired from the past weeks of assignments and studying.Â
Mark suddenly stirs in his sleep and you stop moving, your hand just resting on the crown of his head. You donât know why you hold your breath but you do, realising how close your face is to Markâs at this moment.Â
Markâs eyes fluttered open and was met with your face inches away from his. You freeze, your heart is thumping crazily in your chest but you canât seem to pull away. He blinks slowly as if heâs trying to register what was going on. He doesnât move either, Mark simply stares at you as if heâs trying to memorise every detail of your face.Â
The two of you are staring at each other wordlessly. Your mind is begging you to say something or at least remove your hand from his head. Anything.Â
The past few seconds felt like years and when you catch Markâs eyes gazing down to your lips, you finally snap out of this trance-like state and begin to remove your hand from Markâs head and move away.Â
âWait, donât pull away⊠not yet,â Mark muttered as he began to sit up with you when you started to pull away.Â
You halt your movements and Mark catches a hold of your hand that was previously patting his head. You look down at your connected hands before locking eyes with Mark again.Â
Youâre confused and youâre trying your hardest to bite back the confession that is at the tip of your tongue. This all feels too intimate for two people who are just friends. And Markâs hand is still holding yours firmly, as if youâll run away once he lets go.Â
Mark canât get the words out, he knows it has to be now. He likes you so much. Just say it already, why canât he just say it? So instead of trusting his own words, he lets his body lead him. Mark gently pulls at the temple of your glasses up with his free hand until your glasses are resting on top of your head. He leans forward and he feels like his heart is about to thump out of his chest.Â
Itâs as if his heart is so drawn towards your own, his eagerness overwhelms the fear that has been preventing him from making a move. Mark continues to lean in and you instinctively close your eyes, you feel him hold the side of your face ever so gently as his lips faintly brushes against your own.Â
Mark looks at you one last time, his hesitant lips lingering just a millimetre away from yours before he closes his eyes and kisses you.Â
His head was buzzing and he could only focus on how soft your lips were. You tasted sweet against his lips and Mark knew he was fucked, he knows thereâs no turning back from here. Your hand that Mark was previously holding comes up to rest against his shoulder as you pull yourself closer to him.Â
Markâs lips move so smoothly against your own and you just take everything he has to give you. His kiss is gentle and heavy with emotions, with everything that he has yet to tell you. And you kiss him back with the same yearning.Â
Mark wants to keep kissing you, he doesnât want this to stop. He wants to hold you forever and spend every waking day with you. But something is screaming at him to pull away and he can no longer focus on the kiss.Â
He pulls away first and leans his forehead against yours. His eyes are gazing at your closed one, youâre breathing deeply, your hand still perched on his shoulder. He leans back to sit up and you let go of him.Â
You finally open your eyes to meet his own and your heart drops. You hold his hesitant and anxious gaze before you try and open your mouth to say something but Mark beats you to it.
âIâm so sorry⊠Iâ I didnât know why I did that,â Mark utters out into the silent room. And you felt your heart stop.
Itâs 1:27AM and youâre walking home alone.Â
âIâm so sorryâŠâÂ
Markâs expression is imprinted in your mind and you can feel the tears rising to the surface. Was it just disappointment youâre feeling? It feels heavier than that, youâve felt disappointment before and this feels a lot worse. Can you call this a heartbreak? Afterall, the two of you were just friends.Â
âMark, wâwhat do you mean?â You asked, a frown inching onto your face as you fought back tears.Â
âI think you should go home tonight,â Mark whispered loud enough for you to hear, his head hanging low.Â
Thatâs mostly all that you remembered from the past ten minutes. After that you just packed your things and practically ran out of Markâs apartment.Â
Youâre so stupid. Here you were thinking that you and Mark were about to get your happy ending. That you werenât the only one who was feeling all these complicated feelings. That maybe, he liked you too. Why else would he kiss you?
But you were wrong. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment, for Mark. The kiss that was significant to you was just Mark testing the waters and realising that he didnât want to swim in it. You never thought Mark was someone who would do something like that. Maybe you were wrong all along, you really didnât understand Mark like you believed you did.Â
You clutch your laptop pouch close to your chest to try and fill up the empty feeling that overwhelms you. You let the tears fall, there was no one looking at you now. Only the moon and the lonely street lamps that decorated the path to your apartment.Â
You lift your arm to wipe your tears away with the end of your sleeve when the scent of Markâs fabric softener filled your nose. Youâre still wearing his hoodie, you let out an embarrassingly loud sob and wipe your tears with his hoodie sleeve anyways.Â
All you want to do now is get back into your apartment and sleep. At least when youâre asleep, you donât have to deal with the ache in your heart or the boy that haunts your thoughts.Â
Youâre walking briskly to creative writing class, after what happened yesterday you assumed Mark and you wouldnât be going to class together.Â
You were almost late because you woke up so disoriented and what made it worse is that your eyes were puffy from crying so much last night. You actually iced them before leaving the house, you couldnât even tell if it did anything to help.Â
When you finally entered class, your eyes caught sight of Mark immediately. It felt like deja vu. Markâs seating at where the two of you usually sit, his guitar perched beside him. It was just like the first time you saw him in European Lit class.Â
You feel terrible. You felt like you couldnât approach Mark the same way anymore, was he going to become like a stranger to you now? After everything, is that how things end up between the two of you?Â
You snap out of your thoughts and find a seat somewhere else.Â
You were setting up your laptop for your own presentation while waiting for Dr. Sung to arrive when someone walks up to your table. You look up to see Mark standing in front of you and he gives you a tight-lipped grin. You donât smile back, simply looking back to your screen. You hear him sigh softly before he places a cup of coffee on your desk and walks back to his seat.Â
âGood morning class! Howâs everyone doing?â Dr. Sung exclaims as he bursts into the classroom.Â
Only then did you look up to stare at the cup of coffee that sits at the edge of your desk. Thereâs a post-it pasted on the side of it and you turn the cup slightly to read what it said.Â
Iâm sorry y/n. Can we talk after class please?
You sigh and take the paste-it off the cup, folding it and throwing it into your laptop pouch. You wished he would stop apologising, it just made it seem like he regretted kissing you and it doesnât help you feel any better.Â
You push this matter aside as much as you can. You had more things to focus on today.Â
Dr. Sung began class and started calling students up one by one to present their multimedia projects to the class. Whoever was called upon would go up and present or even perform their work and after that, they could choose to explain what their work is about. Thereafter, Dr. Sung would ask some questions and the floor was open to whoever had questions too.Â
Mark was called up to present his project after about an hour into the lesson. He got his guitar out from the bag and pulled his chair along with him to the front of class.Â
âSo, I turned my poem, âChildâ into a song. Iâll be submitting a full audio version to Dr. Sung but Iâll just be performing a part of it for you all today⊠Um, yea so here it goes,â Mark ended his introduction and after sitting down, he began strumming the guitar.Â
A familiar tune filled your ears as you continued staring at your laptop. It was the same song but Mark performed it at a slower pace, enhancing the sense of melancholy that matches the song which doesnât help the ache in your heart. Markâs voice filled the room as he started singing and you gave in, looking up from your laptop screen to look at Mark.Â
As he performed, he would look down at the neck of his guitar and then up at the class. His eyebrows moved expressively as he sang each word. There were people swaying and bobbing their heads to the song and Dr. Sung was evidently immersed in Markâs short performance.Â
Your eyes were glued onto Mark against your will as the song slowly came to an end.Â
âWould there be anyone who can relate?Â
Even for a bit, can anyone understand this troubled kid?âÂ
Markâs eyes flickered up from his guitar and his gaze was locked on you. Itâs as if he was posing the questions to you, as if he was looking at you in search of some sort of answer. You want to look away but you canât so you hold his gaze and for the first time in a while, you canât read him.Â
Mark was the first to look away, pulling the strap of his guitar over his head and off his shoulder. The class applauded him and Dr. Sung even went up to pat Mark a couple times on the back. Mark mumbled a few âthank youâs before he returned to his seat.Â
âAmazing, well done Mark! Well done,â Dr. Sung said as he walked over to scan the namelist.Â
âAlrighty, next up letâs have y/n, show us what you have!â Dr. Sung called out.Â
You inhaled deeply as you began to make your way to the front of the class. After handing the physical art zine to Dr. Sung, you take another deep breath before you set everything down on Dr. Sungâs desk and began to pull up the pdf of your art zine to show the class.Â
You explain that your art zine was a play on Ekphrastic poetry â which is defined as poems written about works of art. Instead of writing poems based on different works of art, you did things the other way around. The purpose was to mention how certain emotions like loneliness, guilt, joy, love are universal. And through your art zine, you wanted to show that there were so many different ways people come to express the same type of emotions.Â
Dr. Sung was nodding along while you were explaining your project. He flips through page by page as your explanation comes to an end.Â
Mark was watching you from his seat and despite the complicated situation you two are in right now, he couldnât be more proud. He looks down, hiding a smile as he listens to you speak passionately about your project.Â
âWow, âRest Energyâ is included here too. Why donât you just read this poem out for us y/n? Maybe we can talk more about it too,â Dr. Sung requested after he was done looking through your zine. It was one of the many poems you included in your zine and one of your favourites too.Â
âThis is love by y/n
We stood facing each other,
merely three feet apart.
I grip the bow handle and you draw the bow,
leaning back.Â
Your arrow, aimed directly at my heart.
I silently pray,
Donât let your fingers slip,
Please take care of my heart.
Our fate lies in your hands.Â
You can let the arrow go, set yourself free,
Or tighten your grip and spare me.
This is how love works.
One of you is always the archer,Â
And the other, always the prey.â
When you wrote this poem, you were just inspired by a Taylor Swift song. But reading it now in front of the whole class, with what happened between you and Mark just last night, it was daunting on you how cruel love can be. All at the same time, you know that love is so much more than that.
Dr. Sung asks you if you think this is really what love is like and you pondered silently as the class awaited your answer.Â
âI do think love can be scary, maybe even cruel. I think it takes a lot to entrust your heart to someone. And even more to trust that they wonât break your heart. But none of this is really in your control, yet there are so many people who are still willing to take the risk and fall in love anyway. Just like Abramovic and Ulay did in âRest Energyâ. I do think love can be scary but I donât think our fear should get in the way of loving each other. If we all just let our fears stop us from loving and being loved, wouldnât our world be such a sad place?â
After Dr. Sung gave his short goodbye speech and wished all of you the best of luck for your finals, youâre all scurrying to leave. Thatâs how week 13 classes were like, everyoneâs rushing off to get a seat in the library or hurrying to find a place to mug for their finals.Â
You were the same, but more than that you were just trying your best to avoid Mark. So you packed your things and quickly got out of the classroom, bidding some of your classmates goodbye as you made your way out.
As you were walking along the corridor towards one of the study rooms, you heard Mark calling for you from behind.Â
âY/n, wait up,â he said as he jogs forward to catch up to you.Â
You continued walking, not wishing to talk to him just yet. But you had no choice when Mark places himself in front of you preventing you from reaching your destination.Â
âPlease, wonât you just talk to me?â Mark pleads as he looks at you, looking helpless like a lost puppy.Â
âWhat is there to talk about?â you mumbled back, unsure of what you were even supposed to say.Â
âIâm really sorry. I never meant to upset you, I just want things to go back to how they were,â Mark tells you with a sense of desperation in his voice. He knew he messed up and he just wanted to make things right again.Â
A frown found its way to your face and you feel frustration bubbling in your chest. How does he expect you to just pretend like nothing happened and go back to being friends again? After what happened, it was clear that there was no going back.Â
âMark, you canât just kiss me and pretend like it never happened the next day. You know weâll never go back to being just friends again. You canât play with peopleâs feelings like that... and out of everyone I know I wouldnât have expected you to treat me like this,â you were blinking back tears as you felt your heart break just a little more and you can see Markâs expression mirroring your own.Â
You try to walk away when Mark doesnât say anything but he grabs onto your wrist, preventing you from walking past him.Â
âIâm not trying to mess with your feelings, tâ that was never my intention. I⊠I really did mean to kiss you.â
Youâre staring at Mark like he just told you that the earth was flat. Alarms were going off in your mind, trying to tell you to not fall for what heâs telling you. But you know in your heart that Mark wouldnât lie to you, he never has.Â
âAfter the kiss, I just got scared. I felt so vulnerable⊠It terrified me,â Markâs eyes were glossy and he canât look at you, so he stares at his hand that is still holding your wrist, shame causing him to slowly let you go.Â
âI donât understandâŠâÂ
âYou kissed me back⊠and it felt like a relief that you did. But Iâ Iâm not a good person, and I was afraid that youâre going to see that and decide that you were wrong about how you felt about me. So I panicked and pushed you away. Y/n⊠I just really didnât know what to do,â Mark tells you all this and you want to tell him that heâs wrong about himself. That in the short few months that you got to know him, you saw every part of him that he was willing to offer and adored every one of them.Â
At the same time, you already know that there is no way you can ever be in a platonic friendship with Mark. The two of you can either become something more or go your separate ways. And it pained you that such a wonderful friendship had to come to this.Â
âI already know you, Mark⊠and I still like you anyway. But if youâre still afraid then I think this is where we have to part ways.âÂ
Mark looks at you, shock evident on his face but he canât bring himself to say anything. His heart is pounding against his chest, as if urging him to tell you that he likes you too. That he couldnât even fall asleep last night because he couldnât stop thinking about you. To just tell you that he wants to be with you. But his mind remains blank and he lets his cowardice win again.Â
Disappointed and heartbroken, you let out a shaky breath and mumble a soft, âI got to go,â before you finally walk past Mark. And this time, he lets you.Â
In less than 24 hours, Mark has allowed you to walk away from him twice. And he curses himself mentally, not only did he let you go again. Even after he knows how you feel about him, he still couldnât bring himself to tell you how much he really likes you.
Mark saw you again today. Itâs been three days since the kiss and he only saw you briefly today after your European Literatureâs final paper. He pondered over the thought of trying to talk to you again but by the time he made up his mind, he already lost sight of you in the crowd of students.Â
He thought that maybe it was better this way, he was done with finals but he knew you had another paper the day after so maybe it was best to leave you be and let you complete your finals in peace.Â
Mark entered his room and let out a sigh. Heâs done with another semester and usually at this time of the year he would be feeling relieved at the fact that he had completed another thirteen weeks of school. But this time, there was still a lingering heaviness in his heart and he didn't know how heâs supposed to get rid of it.Â
He threw his bag onto his study table and allowed himself to collapse face first onto his bed. His soft mattress invites him into its embrace and he can feel sleep catching up to him since he hasnât been sleeping well the past few days.Â
Mark was going to finally let his eyes close when he heard his door creak open. He turned his head to see Haechan, who invited himself into the room with a bag of chips in his hand.Â
âYouâre done with finals right?â Haechan asked nonchalantly, munching away at his chips as he took a seat at the edge of Markâs bed. Mark took whatever strength was left in his tired being to pull himself up, sitting up beside his housemate.Â
âYea, I finished my last exam today, youâre done too right?â Mark asked Haechan back, eliciting a hum from his friend.Â
âSoâŠ? Spill. Somethingâs clearly wrong with you, finals are over and you still look like you have no will to live.â Haechan and Mark knew each other since they were little. If there was anyone that really did know Mark like the back of their hand, it was Haechan.Â
Haechan also happened to be home when you stormed out of their apartment that night. He figured something bad must have happened but knowing Mark, he knew better than to pry when things were still so fresh. Now that finals are over, it felt like a good time to check in with his â very gloomy â best friend.Â
âI honestly donât know where to start, all I know is that I really fucked up. And I have no idea how Iâm supposed to unfuck the situation,â Mark began as he brushed his fingers through his hair, his frustration with himself evident on his face.Â
He has been thinking about you everyday since he last spoke to you. With each passing day, Mark only missed you more. Just saying that he missed you doesnât even encapsulate the true extent of how heâs feeling.Â
It was more like a yearning, the days without you left too long. The memories of the days spent with you kept him up at night and he questions if heâll ever get to create such memories again.Â
âItâs about y/n right? What happened, did you end on bad terms with her?â Haechan asked before he popped another chip into his mouth.Â
âHuh?â That was all Mark could mutter out, confused by what his best friend meant.Â
âYou two were dating right? So youâre not seeing her anymore, but were you being an ass about it?â Haechan prompted again, trying to make his words more clear after being met with Markâs confused expression.Â
âHaechan⊠we were never together. We were just friends,â Mark told him and Haechan stopped chewing, his mouth hanging open with this new information.Â
Haechan always thought the two of you were dating ever since you first came over to the apartment two months ago. He never asked if you were Markâs girlfriend because he figured his friend would let him know once the relationship was official. This, however, was not what he expected to hear from his friend.Â
âSo thatâs where you fucked upâŠâÂ
Mark spent the next few minutes filling Haechan in on what happened and Haechan only felt bad for the both of you.Â
Haechan didnât get the chance to know you very well but he could tell that you were one of the sweetest girls Mark has ever met. Truthfully, he has never seen Mark bring any girl home. Neither has he seen his best friend smile over a text like the way he does when heâs texting you. Every time you came over and Haechan was at home, you made sure to make small talk with him and apologise for disturbing him even though you were never a bother. So he sincerely felt terrible that Mark did what he did to you.Â
However, he also knew Mark. After all these years of knowing and sharing life with Mark, he learnt that Mark was literally the nicest guy, ever. He would help his friends without expecting anything in return. There was no ulterior motive when it came to Mark, he simply helped people because that was his way. Mark has one of the biggest hearts and would never even intend to hurt you like this.Â
For all the love that Mark gave, Haechan knew Mark didnât know how to allow himself to be loved. That was his biggest problem. Thatâs why it even took Haechan so long to truly get to know him. Mark was just too afraid that people would see past his kindness and find just that small part of him that was a little too dark for the world and decide that he was not worth the love they were giving him.Â
But he knows from the way Mark talks about you that his friend has truly fallen for you. Haechan just hopes that Mark can finally take this leap of faith, and to allow himself to be loved by you too. The two boys canât deal with cheesy shit but Haechan genuinely only wants to see Mark happy. And he has never seen Mark happier around anyone else in a long time. With all these thoughts running through his mind, Haechan decided to pose his best friend one simple question.Â
âCan you picture it? You and y/n, being together.â
âMARK, please⊠she likes you, right? She told you that. And youâve already prepared all this for her, can you stop being a chicken and just go already.âÂ
Haechanâs getting pissed off, he can feel himself start to perspire despite the AC being on full blast already. Mark has planned out his whole confession for the past two days ever since he told Haechan about everything.Â
He even bought you a bouquet of pink tulips and wrote a letter. But now, Markâs nerves are getting to him and he canât bring himself to leave the house. Haechan wants to shove his best friend out the door but at the same time, he promised Mark that he would be nice and help him through this.Â
âDude, I feel like my heartâs about to explode. She hates me, you should have seen her face that day,â Mark utters out as he paces around the living room.Â
âOkay, look. Y/n is really upset with you. But youâll only regret it more if you donât tell her right? Whatâs the worst that can happen? If she rejects you, then you just come back and weâll go to Johnnyâs party and drink your feelings away. But if all goes well, youâll both get your âhappy ever afterâ and I can go to the party alone. So for the love of all the gods in this world, just go already.â
Mark is walking to your apartment now after Haechan completely lost all patience with him and finally shoved him out, making sure to tell him not to come back if he doesnât confess to you today.Â
The path to your apartment is all too familiar. Mark has walked you home too many times, more than you could count on both hands. He would always walk on your left, on the side thatâs closer to the road even on the nights where the roads were close to empty.Â
He remembers how he would start slowing down once you two were a block away, trying to savour the last few minutes with you.Â
Mark has done a lot of thinking the past few days. However, it was only after confiding in Haechan that he realised how much he really wants to be with you.Â
In the beginning, Mark thought that he just had a small crush on you. Itâs true that he found you attractive. Very attractive. Mark always thought you had the prettiest eyes and the moment you two locked eyes that fateful day in creative writing class, he could already feel himself falling.Â
As he got to know you more, Mark honestly believed that his feelings would fade away. That was what happened in the past with his old crushes. But needless to say, things turned out differently with you.Â
If it was even possible, you became more beautiful in his eyes as Mark got to know you. He couldnât get enough of your adorable smile, or the sound of your laughter. He just wanted to keep spending time with you.Â
You understood him like no one else did. Sure, he had close friends who he could confide in and talk to. But it wasnât the same with you. He felt safe enough to expose the parts of him he wanted to keep from everyone else. Mark saw you see him for who he is and saw that you didnât waver. You didnât shy away from him or judge him like he thought you would. You were the only person who understood and accepted the sides of himself that even he found difficult to look at.
Mark didnât want to be afraid anymore. He just wanted to love you and let you love him. But he knows that that isnât a decision he could make on his own.Â
So he planned everything, the flowers, the letter and even down to what he was going to say. Mark knows that you would be done with your final exams today and he didnât want to drag this out any longer.Â
Haechan was right, he would only regret it if he never told you how much he likes you. He has already missed out on this chance twice. But third timeâs the charm right?Â
Mark would be over the moon if you were to accept his confession and to forgive him for being the coward that he is. But if you choose to walk away again, Mark doesnât blame you. At least you would know how he truly felt and he could go home knowing that he tried his best.Â
Time flies when youâre busy being in your head.Â
Mark was already standing in front of your door, he could feel his palms turning clammy as he held the bouquet of tulips in his hand. He lifts up his quivering right hand to knock on your door but he puts it down again, inhaling deeply to try and calm his pounding heart.Â
He gulps as he tries to get rid of the lump in his throat and lifts up his hand again to knock on your door. Markâs knuckles tap against your door firmly, just twice as he takes a step back, anticipating the opening of your door.Â
But the door remains closed. A pout finds its way to Markâs confused face, he tries knocking again.Â
âY/n? Itâs me⊠C-can you please open the door?â Mark calls out when you donât answer the door again.Â
Heâs about to try knocking again when he hears a soft, âMark?â coming from beside him.Â
And there you were, standing next to him, with shock written all over your face. Markâs heart swells upon seeing you, he feels like itâs been too long and he knows that nowâs the time to finally make things right.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â You finally asked once you get over the shock of seeing Mark in front of your apartment, holding a bouquet of flowers.Â
âI need to tell you something, itâs really important.â Mark said as he turned his body to face you. He looks as handsome as ever, his hair falling just under his eyebrows and his glasses perched on his cute, round nose.Â
You canât deny that youâve missed him, but you didnât expect to see Mark anymore after everything that had happened. You thought he decided that the two of you were better off going your separate ways. Now that heâs standing in front of you again, you canât tame the butterflies from going insane in your stomach.Â
Taking your silence as a means to proceed, Mark spoke again.Â
âIâve been thinking a lot since we last spoke and you were right. We can never go back to being just friends again⊠because all I can think about is being with you. Iâ Iâm sorry for being such a coward, I should have told you this the night we kissed. Y/n, I really like youâŠâÂ
Youâre gazing into Markâs doe eyes and you donât try to hide the tears that are forming in your eyes or the soft smile that appears on your face. Markâs face slowly mirrors your own as he shyly hands you the bouquet of flowers.Â
It all felt like a dream, thereâs a tint of pink that rose onto Markâs cheek as you took the flowers from him. Your eyes are glossy and you simply ask him, âHow did you know that tulips were my favourite flowers? I donât remember ever telling you.â
Mark lets out a chuckle, âI didnât know, tulips are my favourite flowers too.âÂ
The two of you canât look each other in the eye, both trying to repress your own shyness and the crazy racing of your hearts. Mark was so busy being relieved that you didnât just chase him away that he almost forgot the most important thing he came here to do.Â
âUm⊠I just wanted to tell you how I really felt about you and I would totally understand if youâre still upset with me. But I just wanted to ask you, iâ if⊠what Iâm trying to say is⊠y/n will you be my girlfriend?âÂ
You donât know why you were so shocked. Mark literally confessed to you less than five minutes ago. Maybe itâs because you have been trying to accept the (now, false) fact that Mark never felt the same way about you over the past few days. But all you managed to do in response to Markâs question was to let your mouth hang out as you stared at Mark in pure surprise.Â
âIâ Itâs okay if you need time to think about it, I know I really messed up and IââÂ
You know you didnât need time to think, for the past few weeks leading up to the kiss, all you could fantasise about was this moment. So you cut Markâs worried rambling short by lifting yourself up on your tiptoes and placing your lips against his.Â
Mark lets out a muffled sound of shock but he quickly gets over it when he realised what was happening. He closes his eyes and leans forward to capture your lips in his as his hand lands on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him.Â
You could feel Mark smile against your lips and you canât help but let out a giggle when you pull away briefly. Mark doesnât waste any time as he chases your lips, kissing you again. You place your free hand on his chest to steady yourself as Mark kisses you deeply, as if conveying all that his heart feels for you in this one kiss.Â
The kiss slows, becoming only more intimate as your lips move against Markâs soft ones. There was only yearning and pure adoration that flowed between the two of you. You finally pull away, letting your eyes slowly flutter open to see that Mark was already gazing lovingly at you with a smile plastered on his face.Â
âYes, Mark, I will be your girlfriend.â
Dear y/n,Â
You were right when you said that the world would be a really sad place if we were to let our fear prevent us from loving and being loved. When I pushed you away out of fear, my world turned into a really depressing place. Iâm sorry I let fear stop me from telling you just how much I like you.Â
âYouâre the only person Iâve ever met who seems to have the faintest conception of what I mean when I say a thing.â â Virginia Woolf, The Voyage Out
I finally understood what Woolf meant when she said this after meeting you. You, who have seen me so completely and still like me anyhow, to me itâs nothing short of a miracle. If youâll let me, Iâll love every part of you and never let you walk away from me ever again.Â
Yours truly, Mark
You were rereading Markâs first letter to you again today.Â
Itâs been three really good months since the two of you got together officially. And Markâs coming to pick you up in a bit for a date. Nothing has really changed, youâre the same people you were when the two of you first met. And itâs still plenty fun when the two of you go out together. The only difference is that you two would hold hands as you walked along the streets, exchange hugs as a âhelloâ and kiss each other tenderly goodbye when the day ends.Â
You wonât lie, sometimes you would still silently wish that the two of you didnât have to go through such a difficult time before getting together. But maybe it was needed for the two of you to realise just how much you really wanted to be together.
Maybe it was thanks to those few difficult days that helped you two realise that this relationship was a risk worth taking. That the both of you truly deserved to be loved by each other.Â
Your phone buzzed beside you, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the present.Â
You folded Markâs letter neatly and slid it back into the envelope before placing it back into the drawer of your bedside table.Â
- hi babe, iâm downstairs! -
- Itâs kind of chilly today, bring a sweater along okay? see u real soon :) -
You smile at your phone as you rush to put on your shoes, stumbling your way to your front door. Itâs been a few months and you never fail to get excited with the thought of seeing Mark again. It doesnât even matter if you saw him just yesterday, the excitement is always the same.Â
When you get out of the lift, you see Mark standing right outside with one hand in the pocket of his hoodie. When he hears you call him, his head snaps up to look at you and a wide smile finds its way to his face.Â
âBabe, you look so pretty,â Mark tells you as he pulls you into a warm hug, taking in the sweet, comforting smell of your perfume. You lean into the crook of Markâs neck as you mumble a âthank youâ.Â
The two of you pull away and Mark slings his arm over your shoulder out of habit as you two walk out of your apartment building.Â
âWhere are we going today?â You asked as you circle your arm over Markâs waist, holding him close.Â
âLetâs go book shopping, Iâm itching for a new read,â Mark told you, anticipating your excitement. And you donât disappoint, you love going to bookstores, especially with Mark.Â
Youâre already rambling on about this book series that you think Mark would like and all he can do is stare at you as you go on excitedly. If there was one thing he did right in his life, Mark knew it was taking that leap of faith with you.Â
Mark has never been this happy or this at peace with where he is in life. And he knows that he owes it to how well you love him. He didnât know why he was so afraid in the beginning when you had always taken such good care of his heart. Ever since you were still friends, you held his heart in your hands ever so gently, being careful never to let it break.Â
Mark loves you with all his heart and he finally realises that he was worthy of all the love that you were willing to give him too.
This was so beautifully written and tackled the topic of self-love and self-acceptance with such elegance that I even shed a few numerous tears here and there đ
Currently working on it dunno abt the word count yet but i am already 1.2k in and well that was only one section so weâll see. I am rather excited to share this story jsnsndne
SUMMARY | Dying isnât something thatâs supposed to happen to kids. It happens to grandparents, and people who smoke cigarettes outside the supermarket, who are dying anyway, who have used up all the time theyâve got. It doesnât happen to boys like Lee Jeno, your best friend, who makes music and smiles like heâs holding the sun on the tip of his tongue. It doesnât happen to Jeno, until it does.
PAIRING | Lee Jeno x Reader
CATEGORY | cellist!jeno, friends to lovers au, pure angst
WORD COUNT | 9.5k
WARNINGS | character death, cursing (a lot), mentions of sickness (cancer), mentions of death, etc
SONG REC | Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars
Jeno lies in your motherâs flowerbed, daisies tangling in his dark hair, stars dancing in his even darker eyes. White petals trace pollen over his honeyed skin, soft blades of grass caress his cheek with the gentle touch of a summer breeze. His fingers are laced with yours, his skin warm and comforting. His eyes smile at the sun, curved crescent moons meeting the sunlight halfway to the sky, a million times darker and yet twice as bright. His face is so clear, golden beneath the light of the sun, and your eyes trace the moles that form constellations on the smooth expanse of his skin. Heâs squinting, staring back at you against the soft glare of the now setting sun, shades of dawn painting his face the color of a dying sky, and yet Jeno has never looked so alive, so at peace, so serene. You wonder how you came to be here, lying in the dirt, petals crushed beneath your backs, and a dying breath carried away by the wind.
Best friends. Mark and Soyeon were exactly that;Â Bickering about the most random ordeal whilst having each otherâs back at all times.Â
Best friends ask for favours. Mark did just that. Â
Best friends help each other out. Soyeon did just that.
A romantic date, a little night stroll under the beautiful city lights,
And the dreaded big f word. No not f*** but Feelings. Yeah this one.Â
Add all these to the equation and you are in for a whirlwind.Â
genre: slice-of-life / angst / bestfriends-au
word count: 1.3k+
âI think that we need time away from each other.â Jaehyun announced solemnly, daring himself to pronounce these words while maintaining eye-contact with an unsuspecting you.Â
The deafening silence was rapidly settling in. You could however hear your heart beat slower and slower per the second. What a strange feeling. It first came with a skipped beat, then you could swear that your heart dropped all the way to your gut. And eventually it came right back to its initial position, only now it was beating horribly slow, as if it was fighting for the strength to carry on.
Whilst the expression adorned to your face was rather passive, the look of betrayal that flooded your eyes easily gave away your current feelings. Jaehyun however, looked totally fine. He looked unaffected by the news he had just broken to you or better said the decision he had abruptly come up with when no later than last night, he had been whispering sweet nothings into your ears.
You struggled to find the right words, the right questions but nothing besides wanting a reason haunted your mind.Â
âW-Why?â you asked, feeling your throat grit with this simple word. Simple but bearing the weight of your overwhelming confusion. It felt like he was breaking up with you, ironic really, when you were not even in a relationship to begin with.Â
âI know, Iâve known for a while actually.â He stated, digging his hands in his hoodieâs front pocket. Hoodie that was a gift from you for his birthday. Hoodie that was of your favourite colour. Hoodie that he wore every single day ever since, except when it was in the laundry.Â
What a mockery really. Because he knew. And so, for a while. The tide wave of realisation that slapped you across the face was nothing compared to the deepened betrayal you felt from Jung Jaehyun. Your bestfriend of years. He knew about your feelings. He had known for a while now. And yet, he was still cuddling you the night prior, repeating words of comfort and love during movie night. Only to reject you this Monday morning, like a used tissue to the bin.Â
Yet, trust in Jung Jaehyun to further give you an explanation even if now, it was the last thing you wanted, you did not want to hear his reason anymore. But he would give it to you.Â
âI feel suffocated y/n. Every time you look at me, I see it in your eyes. Your hope for more. I thought that with time, it would subside. Weâre best friends, maybe you mistook our closeness for something more, so I kept pretending to be oblivious. But I canât do this anymore.â
And thatâs when that strange feeling of betrayal that settled in morphed into an unexpected rage. He spoke of you like a pity party. Was it your ego taking the lead in your critical thinking of the situation, most probably, but now, all you could see when you thought about the last few months, was how Jaehyun was nothing but pretending to be oblivious.Â
On the contrary, he had grown more attentive, more touchy, more sweet and ambiguous. He had picked on habits he never did before, such as, texting you every day from morning to night on end. He would randomly visit you during his lunch break if he happened to be in the area. He even brought you homecooked meals from his parents. Then one movie night on a random Saturday turned into a new tradition, that then evolved in weekend sleepovers, once at yours and once at his. And those nights would always end in cuddles.
He nurtured your feelings, and now he had the audacity to say that you were suffocating. You never asked for all this. He took it upon himself to go out of his way to spend that much time with you. You were both mere bestfriends who would see each other once a month and catch up regularly once a week. And you were content with your prior dynamics. Your friendship with him had always been your top priority.
But when he started showing more interest in spending time with you during weekends and less in going to random bars with Johnny on Saturday nights. You thought maybe- maybe he was slowly reciprocating your feelings as well. How glad were you now to have never jumped the gun on your what ifs.
You felt imaginary needles prick at both your eyes but nevertheless, no tears were shed. On the contrary, the hard quality that found your face once you concluded your train of thoughts was nothing close to any expression Jaehyun had ever witnessed from you before.
âI canât do this either.â You stated, calmly, way to calmly to Jaehyunâs liking. How could you be so calm.
He noticed, the change in your demeanour immediately. It was Jaehyun afterall, he knew you inside out.
âWhat do you mean?â He tentatively asked.
âFor how long have you known?â
âWhy is that import-â
âJust answer the question Jaehyun.â
âEight months. Right around my birthday.â
You scoffed. You could not help but scoff. The timeline was too ideal. A week after his birthday Jaehyun started showing up at your front door unannounced more often than not. He led you on. He reveled in the attention you gave him, and now he felt like it was too much.
âI think that we should not see each other anymore. At all.â
Jaehyun looked like he had just witnessed a ghost slip pass him. Your harsh tone showed how serious you were. He only wanted time away from you, not to completely eradicate you from his life. Why had you come to this decision?
âNow donât go saying things you do not mean y/n.â
âOh, but I mean it Jaehyun.â
âBut why?â
âWhat itâs okay for you to ask for time apart but when I spring the idea on, itâs not okay?â
âOf course, itâs not. I only asked for some time apart. Youâre here saying that youâll walk out of my life, or even asking me to walk out of your life for good.â
âWell, if you feel so suffocated, Iâll give you the freedom you need. As simple.â
âDonât twist my words. You are still my bestfriend y/n and I am yours.â
2nd scoff. You scoffed yet again whilst Jaehyun looked all the more confused.
âLast time I checked, a bestfriend would not lead the other bestfriend on for eight months on end, only to call it quits when he suddenly felt like it.â
âWhat the hell are you talking about, I never led you on.â
Jaehyunâs frustration and cluelessness was clear as he sprung a hand through his dark brown mane.
âIt surely did not feel like it when you were telling me how perfect I am last night, or how I was all you ever needed in life last week.â
Speechless. Jaehyun was speechless. Because it all dawned on him. Once again, a deafening silence settled in. Like a robot, you grabbed your things out of muscle memory and slowly got up from the couch you were both seated at. Taking a final look at your surroundings, breathing Jaehyunâs place for the last time. You sauntered to the door solemnly without a word. You had to walk away now. Else you knew your legs would give in before youâd make it to the door.
Jaehyun remained frozen in place. How could he dare himself to react and say anything, when he realized that it was true. He had shamelessly led you on all those months to only back away on the pretense of feeling suffocated when it was actually his own growing pains and feelings that overwhelmed him. But it was too late. You had walked out already. How could he stop you anyway? For he knew, youâd never walk away if there was anyway for you to come back. You were the type of person to fight until the very end. But he knew then that he had already sprung the end on you both when he suggested time apart. How ironic because now he knew, a little too late, that all he wanted was to keep your close.
âXiao Yaaaaang!â Yangyang immediately distanced his phone from his ear at the sudden outburst by his correspondent. At the same time, he blamed himself for going deaf for a few seconds since she would always do that.
âItâs 4 in the morning here Summer, how many times did I tell you to check the time before calling.â Yangyang sighed as he could hear Summer pout at the other end of the line. âWhat is it this time?â
âWell I had great news, but judging by how grumpy you are, Iâll just call later.â
âStop being a baby, I am up now, whatâs up?â Yangyang sat on his bed, trying not to be too noisy since his housemate, Ten, was probably still sound asleep.
âI thought that you would be more excited than that to hear that your dear best friend is coming back to Korea for a month but figures, I should have called Ten-Oppa first.â
âAre you for real? When are you getting here?â Now Yangyang could not contain his excitement and was already as loud as he could be, not caring about Tenâs beauty sleep.
âIâll be there tonight, so you better clean up the mess that is your room.â And without another word, Summer hung up in his face with a giggle to seal it all.
Just on cue, Ten barged in Yangyangâs room, hair all over the place and clearly not amused. However, before Ten could even nag about this situation, Yangyang said:
âSheâll be back tonight, for a month.â
âA month, that's it? Oh my⊠get the water boiling, first coffee then cleaning. Get your ass ready Yangyang. I wonât take Summerâs nagging about how messy this apartment is again.â
Yangyang sighed and went to freshen up with a meaningful smile to his face. âToday is going to be a long dayâ he thought, âbut a good one.â
Initially, YangYang and Summer met in Germany. Both being born in Taiwan and having the same age, they naturally bonded. Best friends seemed to be their destiny as coincidentally, they both dreamed about going to Korea one day. Yangyang wanted to live there and open his own dance studio. While Summer was more of a travel person, she could see herself living in Korea, but not for long at all. She wanted to have the option to live in Korea one day, Taiwan the next and why not Thailand or Japan the following month. Being a travel blogger only boosted her dream to achieve such opportunities. They both got to Korea at the same time and spent a solid 6 months together before meeting Ten. Ten and Yangyang bonded over their dancing ambitions and soon became partners in crime and business. Henceforth, they rented an apartment all three of them. Summer would be there only around 6 months out of a year but it had been like that for the past two years and the boys were used to this lifestyle. Rent was not that big of an issue since Summer would still send her share while being away, despite the guys insisting that it was not necessary.
The only issue per say would be Yangyang missing her like crazy but he was comforted by the fact that she missed him just as much.
The clock was dangerously ticking. Yangyang was restless, waiting for his best friend to barge through the front door at any time now. Ten and himself, had spent the whole day cleaning the apartmentâs every corner, also making sure that Summerâs room was still untouched but squeaky clean. The last time she was in Korea was around 3 months prior. Summer did mention that she would be in the country for only a month this time, which means that she most probably had a new project in mind and only needed to rest before embarking on a new travel journey.
âStaring at the door wonât make her come any faster Yangyang.â Ten teased his younger counterpart knowingly with a smirk. He might have known them for only a little over 2 years but Ten was much more perceptive than he let on.
âYeah but she should already be here by now. I donât understand why she doesnât allow us to pick her up every time.â
âOh come on, you know well enough that itâs because she needs to enjoy Koreaâs polluted air on her own first before being spoiled by our manly aura.â Ten teased once again which caused Yangyang to laugh his heart out. Both men ended up laughing a little more, maybe nervously since both were expecting the door to barge open at any second now.
âI see that you guys have been getting much fun while I was away.â Summer was at the door, her suitcase next to the door, duffle bag over her shoulder and a plastic in her hand.
Both men simply stared at her for a few seconds.
âWow okay, I didnât expect such a greet-â
As if on cue, both men screamed to the top of their lungs: âSummer!â
They both took her into a bear hug and she could only chuckle. âGlad to see you both too.â She pinched both of their stomachs before, rolling her suitcase to Yangyangâs feet, shifting her bag to his shoulder as well. âQuick I bought some spicy rice-cakes on my way over, Iâm starving.â
Immediately, Yangyang sauntered to her room to drop her bags while Ten grabbed the take out and took it to the kitchen. Summer looked at the apartment and smiled tightly. âThis feels like home,â she thought with nostalgia.
The first weeks went by normally. Yangyang and Ten followed their work schedule closely while Summer was out and about around the city, taking pictures and visiting her favourite snack-joints. At night, all three of them would gather around in the living room and have dinner together round the coffee table in front of some re-running shows of Knowing Brothers or Running Man.
It is only during the third week of her stay that Yangyang had a day off from work. He proposed to take Summer out for the day but she miraculously wanted to stay in that day.
Yangyang was woken up by the delicious smell of newly baked pancakes. Looking at his bedside alarm clock, it was already 9 a.m which meant that Ten was already off to the dance studio. After freshening up, he got his lazy self to the kitchen and gave Summer a quick back hug while she was still at the stove. Summer leaned into his embrace with a warm smile before Yangyang could turn his attention to the warmly brewed coffee on the isle.
âPancakes. What is it this time?â he said carefully.
âWhat do you mean?â Summer seemed focused on her last batch of pancakes, back facing her best friend.
âYou only bake pancakes when you want to discuss something rather concerning. So what is it this time?â
Summer sighed as she turned off the stove and set the isle for them to have breakfast. âLetâs eat first and then weâll talk.â
Indeed, while eating they only talked about a few of Summerâs anecdotes from her recent trip to Indonesia and a few of Yangyangâs new choreography ideas and themes. The plate of pancakes soon vanished and Yangyang was doing the dishes while Summer was cleaning up the kitchenâs surfaces.
âAlright so we are done eating nowâŠâ Yangyang dried his hands before grabbing Summerâs shoulders and pushing her towards the living room, forcing her to settle on their couch. âWhat is it?â
Yangyang was clearly worried but only his gaze gave it away. Summer and him went through literally everything together that he couldnât really fathom what was going on this time. It was the first time that she was beating around the bush for this long and he could feel the tension in the air. Out of habit, Yangyang grabbed one of her hands and started playing with her fingers to hopefully comfort her and encourage her to speak up as well.
Summer on her end was just nervous because she knew how the upcoming announcement would change everything, at least for a while. Taking a deep breath, she finally said:
âI got a new project, as a tourism magazine writer/editor.â
âOh my god, thatâs great! Where?â
âCanadaâŠâ
Yangyang laughed, âItâs funny causeâ I thought I heard Canada.â Summer bit her tongue as she slowly nodded. Yangyang inhaled sharply before continuing on a more serious tone: âFor how long?â
âFor two yearsâŠâ
âPlease tell me that you are not seriously thinking about taking on this project?â
âXiaoyang, donât do this to me, you know how much this means to me. And it is not just any country, itâs Canada.â
âTwo whole fucking years XiĂ TiÄn. Not a month, not even a year but TWO years. I thought that we had agreed that you would never be away for longer than 6 months.â Summer winced at Yangyangâs use of her birth name. He was hurt, she could see that, but so was she.
âI know⊠but it is only this once. I cannot refuse this opportunity. The exposure I would get from this is enough to double my network in a month alone.â
âThen have the gig for only a month!â
Yangyang was visibly growing more and more frustrated. And Summer was only passive since this reaction was just like what she imagined it would be.
âYou know that I canât do this Xiaoyang⊠two years will go by fast. I promise. Iâll call often. I promise.â
âWhat about us?â Yangyang asked dangerously, risking it all. He knew that there was a line to never cross in between best friends however, between him and Summer, it was different. They may have never took things to another level, but there was a mutual understanding that she was in his heart and he was in hers. It only came down to the fact that their respective careers was top priority for now.
Summer was teary-eyed at his sudden question and could not utter another word.
Yangyang scoffed before grabbing his coat and exiting the apartment in a storm, leaving Summer devastated. She knew where he was headed but she also knew that he needed time to cool down.
That night, only Ten came back home. Summer was not surprised but she was rather disappointed. She had hoped that Yangyang would be willing to talk things through sooner than later. After all, she only had one more week before leaving. Ten cooked dinner for the both of them but Summer was no way in the mood for food. Sighing, Ten looked at her, his little sister as he would always think of her and he was truly saddened.
âGive him one more day, he needs to clear his mind.â Summer simply nodded at his words. âHe really thought that you would come back for good and focus on only Korea and maybe Japan at least this year. He wouldnât stop going on about how he missed you and you missed him too.â
Yangyang had spent the night at the studio that day, dancing his stress out. He had the studio to himself so he could really dance at his ease, do what he pleases and even scream all the more he wanted. Deep down, he knew that his reaction was un-called for but two years without seeing Summer would be the longest they would be apart. What if she met someone in Canada was his first thought. But he couldnât possibly tell her to look at him only, he couldnât seriously tell her to give up on her dream either.
Text from: 10 out of 10
She is waiting for you in the living room man, I know that you need your time but donât be too late either.
Yangyang sighed at this message from Ten before finally resting in the middle of the dance studio, covered in sweat and heavy thoughts. How was he to face her the following day.
At dawn the next day, Yangyang was already in front of their apartment. Hesitating to get in. He knew however that he couldnât run away from this any longer so he made his way in slowly and quietly. There she was, laying on the couch. Yangyang sighed for the nth time before sauntering towards her, sitting down in front of the couch, taking in her appearance. She might be sleeping but she looked restless; the bags under her eyes indicated that she had stayed up until really late, most probably waiting for him to come back. Gently tucking her hair behind her ear, Yangyang kissed her forehead softly before resting his head on a portion of the couch next to her. Before he knew it, he fell asleep again and this time he was able to actually rest comfortably despite this awkward position for, she was there with him.
âXiao Yang⊠wake up.â Half an hour later, a small voice was trying to stir the young man out of his slumber and this voice belonged to none other than Summer. Slowly Yangyang woke up, yawning heavily as he stretched out from his uncomfortable sitting position at the foot of the couch. âCome lie down next to me.â With no other word uttered, Summer scooted over as Yangyang took her into his embrace as they both lay on the couch. Just like that they slept for a few hours more and the previous nightâs concern was forgotten, or better said, ignored.
Another week went by with the pair of best friend acting as if nothing had happened. They just did their best to make the most out of the little free time they had.
D-day approached and Summer's plane was due to take off at 21h. This time she couldnât argue her way out of having the boys accompany her to the airport. And so they did. Ten knew not to stay around for long though. He hugged her tightly making sure to nag about her safety and keeping in regular contact before kissing her forehead. He winked at Yangyang and gave him a reassuring look before leaving the two alone as he went to the car on his own for the time being.
Yangyang and Summer sat at one of the airport benches in silence. It might seem weird to others that they didnât talk about this situation after their first fight but to them, this seemed to be the best solution. Yangyang held Summerâs hand in his tightly, caressing the back of it with his thumb.
âGood afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight N127 to Toronto, Canada. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.â
âThatâs my flight.â Summer said with a small smile as she urged Yangyang to get up.
âPromise me that you will really call often.â Yangyang said like vulnerably.
âI promise.â Summer said sincerely as she held both of his hands tightly.
âBe careful there and let us know if anything. Weâll fly our asses to you if you need.â
âI know Xiao Yang. I know.â
They both tried their best to keep a smile to their faces.
Summer took a deep breath before saying; âI really do not want to be this selfish woman who asks you to wait for her while she is away, but I promise that I will be back in two years, with you still in my heart, so will you please still be here for me when I get back. And then maybe, can we make things right?â
Yangyang couldnât help but smile further, not trusting himself to speak up though since Summer just showed that she would wear the pants in this relationship to be. Yangyang took her in his arms tightly, whispering through her hair. âOne Summer night, when youâll be back, Iâll take you out officially as my girlfriend and parade you all over Seoul.â
Summer and Yangyang chuckled at their own cheesiness but now they knew that they would be okay; One Summer Night.
genre: slice-of-life / slight-fluff
word count: 1.1K
An orange leaf could be seen flying along the wind before landing on a pile of fallen leaves in the park. Autumn was here. It was still somewhat warm but it was also slowly getting colder by the day. The media would usually advertise such a weather as âCuddle Season,â allowing them to promote couple designated products and services. However, this only worked for people in relationships while singles would then only be reminded of their situation.
Jaehyun was on his daily jog by River Han when a particular billboard across the street caught his attention, which brought his steps to a halt. Advertisement for a coffee place, his coffee place to be more precise, âBittersweet.â A proud smile graced his lips as he read the board:
âSharing a cup of coffee with the one you love is Sweet.
Drinking alone may be bitter.
Yet, nothing beats a perfectly Bittersweet cup of coffee.â
Looking over at his watch, he took in the time and realized that he only had fifteen minutes to finish his run and rush back home to get ready for work. As he resumed his steps however, he directly bumped into someone causing them both to fall over. The overpowering scent of warmly brewed coffee awakened Jaehyunâs senses as he struggled to get up. The person next to him was groaning. Immediately, Jaehyun got up and reached down to help the victim of his carelessness.
âI am so so so sorry Miss, I didnât mean to run into you. Are you hurt?â The woman extended her hand as Jaehyun offered his help and got up easily thanks to him.
Johnny was not able to hide how much he enjoyed this situation. He could clearly denote how embarrassed and shy you were but this was such an endearing character trait of yours that the huge grin that found his lips never wanted to leave.
âCome on now, you already started, might as well tell me everythingâ he taunted playfully.
âOh please rub that smug look off of your face. Iâm not going to say anything.â
âI like you too, yâknow.â
You were stunned. Trust in Johnny Suh to take you off guard like this, sweeping you off your feet, even making you believe that you could fly from the way your heart just swelled up.
âI like you too, too.â You whispered shyly, avoiding heart-eyes gaze.
âI know.â And there he is, back again.
As soon as you smacked his head, he chuckled softly, pulling you into a tight bear hug, nustling you in his arms as if you were the most delicate treasure he has ever encountered, little did he know, he was actually your treasure.
I have a fantasy plot in mind. Had it in mind for the past two years but i aint good enough at world building and suspenseful narration to put it into action. But hear me out, a world of fairies starring main character taeyong with an oppressing govt entailed in arranged marriage due to bloodlines etc
