things said in discord pt 2
shit that’s been said in one of my many discord servers; edited for clarity/grammer, feel free to edit gendered/location language as needed! tw for some nsfw quotes of both sexual and non sexual variety
“i can forgive him. the entertainment value makes up for the blasphemy.”
“we’re getting horse eggs.”
“the price of fashion is sometimes you're bald and have no pants.”
“believe in the lesbians that believe in you.”
“it'll be an interesting balance between beautiful and not drowning my children on video.”
“are they preaching to the ham lady…?”
“you can't offer free money to small children”
“or, if you’re English–first of all, sorry. but anyway–”
“how is canada doing this so well. what have you done”
“you guys totally could have gaslit me there, thanks for not doing that.”
“frogs are inherently unfuckable and i will not elaborate”
“wrong! babies can commit murder. try again”
“the lion king and batman begins is the exact same movie”
“the generational trauma of bread”
“i dont think moogles are qualified for marriage counseling.”
“it's the matrix but for snails.”
“the illiteracy level of trees has been dropping exponentially.”
“he's a dom, how unfortunate.”
“we have to wait for our gummy worm to cool down after boiling it in what’s basically battery acid.”
“i have never been so impressed yet so disappointed in a sandwich in my life.”
“okay well, im in the cult so i can't complain.”
“pretty soon he’s going to be paying taxes.”
“i'm- SHUT UP - i'm doing hot girl shit!!”
“the police come up with this brilliant idea right, their plan is they're going to enter the water to search for the shark. it MIGHT be a stupid idea but remember everyone IS super jazzed to get eaten.”
“oh the tree's haunting me again.”
“i don't know! do vampires have tee- oh wait i was thinking of mosquitoes.”
“no you're trying to kill me, everyone else is collateral damage. which i will take.”
“i wanna deconstruct him like a sandwich.”
“Imma try to give this kid food at least. hey i unlocked communism.”
“it is not pizza soup don't do me dirty like this.”
“steal the apple pie. she'll come home and be like what the fuck where did my pie go?”
“wow, that's fucked. i need to investigate that.”
“getting murdered is a bonding experience.”
“god gave me two hands so I could pet two cats at the same time.”
“he's not aware that i speak for him. i am his lorax and he is the tree.”
“haven't thought that far ahead yet. too busy being incredibly hot and excruciatingly fast.”
“it's not summer until there's a corpse pile in the nearest body of water.”
“there's always corpses in the pool.”
“i don't wanna hear fucking come all ye people on an accordion at polka tempo.”
“hey girl, let's make meat smoothies in your reference section.”
“just tell your anxiety to shut the fuck up.”
“i'm so used to being covered in fish.”
