Kill me ASAP

[satanrighthands]

Why should I living? When I'm wished to be dying.

Will you look back?

Will you walk into the dark?

Will you stay out from the light?

Will you dance throughout the night?

All my life is misery.

I never can believe how it could be pageantry.

He told me to live.

But he never asked me how to survive.

It is not like other thought.

Being an immortal is one of pain.

Unbearable pain that pushed me to scream a lot.

I wish I could that not just in my mind.

Fuck. I kept spit lot of bad word.

For mortals I'm just another sculptered creature.

Living for the sake His plan.

Never got the chance to change the fate.

[satanrighthands]

Let me just die.

In the midst of cloudy dark, void seems devouring the night as my mind dive into a pond of dying thought.

I'm a wanderer. The last voyage of mine is to seek the best way to kill myself, get rid all of the pain I've been suffer.

I tried to break the door since I didn't get the key, leaving myself holding my knee. The door won't break, no matter how many bones I broke.

Will it last for me?

Will I finally free?

Born as an antichrist, lived with the priest, those stuff aren't my choices, it was fate drives me into these massacre.

If I could had a chance.

If I could choose.

I don't wanna this life, I just wanna live like the other people, live until white brushed my obsidian hair, and dying slowly as age consumed my mental in my lair.

[satanrighthands]

Tipuan Fana.

Pernah merasakan indahnya dunia.

Pernah tau bagaimana eloknya manusia.

Pernah melihat ke dalam lautan bahagia.

Pernah merasakan semuanya bersama seorang manusia, begitu indah sampai lupa kalau sedang berada di atas dunia. Dunia yang selalu menjadi tempat para pendosa bersuka cita, bersenggama, sampai melepaskan segala perih di dalam dada.

Tau sekali bagaimana rasanya diberikan pelukan hangat dari 'rumah', sangat nyaman sampai tak ingin beranjak barang sedetik ssja.

Semuanya dilakukan secara bersama, dari hal tak penting, hingga paling penting asal berdua.

Deru nafas tak beraturan, senyuman diberikan, sangat indah kedua momen antar dua makhluk tengah memikat cinta. Berhubungan seperti binatang untuk sekedar beritahu bahwa cinta membuncah, melepaskan segala halangan hanya demi kedua presensi.

Tidak pernah sekali maupun satu hari tidak bersama. Bila jauh, rasanya begitu hancur dan tak bisa digambarkan oleh kata-kata.

Tapi.

Semua itu.

Sirna.

Baru rasanya kemarin menyentuh titik terakhir di atas langit, tapi saat ini dihempas ke atas bumi, rasa sakitnya menusuk sampai darah enggan keluar karena darah sudah habis ketika bersama. Kedua bola mata bersaksi bahwa itu bukanlah sebuah ilusi, melainkan kenyataan pahit.

Melihat 'rumah' sedang dijamah oleh penghuni lain, seruan darinya membuat retakan tersendiri di sekitaran tulang dada, tak pernah mengira jika semuanya harus hilang dalam satu malam.

Pergi begitu saja dengan orang lain, yang bahkan tidak mengenalnya. Beralasan bahwa itu sekedar cinta satu malam, TAPI TETEP SAJA melihatnya secara langsung seperti mengobarkan api amarah.

Tadinya seperti berada di dataran hijau, terpencil dari orang-orang, di mana dunia isinya hanya berdua saja. Tapi seseorang masuk tanpa permisi, melakukan kegiatan yang sama, benar-benar sama!

Melenguhkan nama lain, padahal tau sedang mengikat sebuah janji bersama.

Semua itu sirna begitu saja karena hawa nafsu dan rasa ingin tahu.

Setidaknya, terima kasih walau sebentar saja beritahu bahwa dunia bisa terlihat indah jika dirawat bersama. Terima kasih juga untuk memberitahukan bahwa dunia pun bisa menarik kembali ke tanah.

[satanrighthands]

An empty vessel or just dumbfuck?

I wonder, I kept wondering, either am I gifted or cursed. Born as an antichrist aren't as smooth as the film told, I still live my life as human, I woke up, I slept, same thing. But at one point of my life, I'm asking myself, the power I hold on my hand aren't belong to mine, one day it will return to my father, then when it return, what I should do?

The priest in my church says it was a gift, because he wanted to carry the vessel of Satan. Little did he know, living as an immortal isn't that great.

You'll watch everyone is dying, lover is leaving, friend is going out there somewhere. All the painful human's feeling could felt, I already dive into it, turn myself into a numb creature living. I'm losing my will to life. Every single day tried to kill myself, but I get nothing. None of it makes me greet death.

I only received the taste of pain embracess my body like it was the last hug before going to war. Bruises all over my skinny feature body. With all those experience, what am I now?

Gifted child or cursed sinner?

[satanrighthands]

Tuhan.

Bukan tentang tidak ada maupun percaya atau tidak. Ini juga bukan tentang bagaimana mereka menyebut-Nya sebagai Yang Maha Esa, Pencipta Alam Semesta. Ini tentang bagaimana manusia berlomba-lomba melakukan segala perintah dari sebuah kitab suci.

Mereka menjauhi segalanya tidak perduli dengan omongan yang lainnya, tapi di lain sisi mereka melakukan itu semua tanpa melihat ke dalam mata kepalanya sendiri.

Kerap kali dosa dilakukan tanpa diketahui orang lain, sering jua melihat sekumpulan manusia saling mendukung sebuah tindak asusila terhadap korban.

Sebagai anak Satan sendiri, itu bukan sebuah masalah ketika menyaksikannya dari atas gedung tinggi, tapi tetap saja perasaan menjijikan itu datang menimpa.

Tidak melakukan apapun untuk menggoda manusia, justru manusia itu sendiri menggoda setan untuk melakukan mau mereka. Lantas, kalau sudah begini, apa Tuhan dengan sengaja menciptakan Iblis dari api dan manusia dari tanah kotor.

Tentu tidak.

Karena manusia jauh lebih kotor dan menjijikan daripada api.

[satanrighthands]

Bunuh aku dengan cara tersadis.

Aku selalu meminta untuk dibunuh, muak diriku hidup terlalu lama di dunia ini, muak aku melihat bagaimana manusia menggunakan setan dan iblis sebagai kambing hitam segala tingkah laku mereka. Menyedihkan bagaimana melihat makhluk lain harus menanggung kekejian dari tingkah laku para manusia.

Aku sengaja meminta untuk disudahi hidup selama tiga ratus lebih tahun ini, karena aku ingin melakukan hal lain di alam bawah sana, daripada di sini, memikat mereka, menjerumuskannya ke dalam liang neraka.

Merangkai kata saja rasanya sudah malas untukku, menyumpahi manusia sama saja menyumpahi dinding dingin, tidak bersuara, hanya berdiri tegak di sana.

Ah, bajingan, siapapun, TOLONG! TOLONG BUNUH KEHIDUPAN MENYEDIHKAN INI! BANGSAT!

Berserteru sama sekali tak ada gunanya, diri sendiri pun lelah untuk melihat kembali ke sana. ARGH!

[satanrighthands]

FROM EARTH, TO EARTH.

"Why you did that?"

Did what? What I did? I just bring them home, back to the nature, back to the their place. We are belongs to the nature, to the world itself. Did what I do was wrong?

It was 1712. Small town, Eastern Europe. I was living there, to be exactly I live from one place to another, staying on their land couple of years and go away when they kicked me out.

September the tenth, I still remember that sunny day, sky was crystal clear, the farm of the village grew better, they raised some livestock, I help them a lot, they gave me place to stay, food as well. We even sang a song every single night to praise our mother of nature.

But when night comes, I really forget what I did to them, the last thing I remembered I saw a massive flame burnt every people inside the barn, they're screaming to me and calling me demon, gasoline on my hand, I realized I'm the one who causing this scene, I can bet everything if I also the one who lure them into the barn.

I was a fool before I finally knew I'm the Son of Satan, they're souls reprsented to the Satan Himself, my Father.

[satanrighthands]

If life was a feast.

I'm the one who held it.

Everyone are invited.

From every side of the world.

Youngster, elder, children.

There's no classment or else, everyone are the same.

SINNER

We have no saint in this field.

Nor the one who called God everytime God push them down.

If life was a feast.

I make it a greatest feast.

No one could ever forget.

Serve them with anything they need.

What they want.

With one hell of terms. EMBRACE SATAN!

HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!

All gracious thing should be for you, Father.

[satanrighthands]

Tell me what do you see?

Look me in the eyes.

Stare deep into my soul.

TELL ME WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Is it the void hiding inside me?

Is it hell raging his fire?

Is it just my anger roaring to be free?

TELL ME NOW!

I feel numb on my leg, it keep moving but can't control it. It keep walking, arms floating around, showing the which path I should take, they're fighting to each other, makes me wonder which way my legs choose.

The left told right to follow it, also the same like right told left. My leg kept walking in the middle, waiting which one winning for our path next.

I don't mind if get stranded, i don't mind to get lost either, and I really don't mind if it's a dead end.

[satanrighthands]

MASTERPIECE

Oh dear, do I ever told you if you are a menace?

Dear, ever I say to you if you are the plague to the world?

Ah, I must be forgotten saying that to you, My Dear.

Now, listen to me, Pretty Menace. You are a plague to this damned world as because you spread your flawless and your beauty, they become envy, jealous, all the motherfucker wanted you, cocksucker mad at you, that because how great your shape is.

Ah, you can't tell if they are truly love you or the shape I created. Oh, yes, yes, are you forgot i'm the one who making the dough? No? Look at your pretty fatty cakes, it needed lot of slaps before it turns to be like that, baby. Don't you remember when i'm going to rough? You are crying, you are whining, your silly little fucking voice turn me on that time, wanting me to explore how cruel your mental health condition.

Yeah, I know, you ran away from your house to be a Doctor, but look where you are now, chained, drooling, wondering, and can't seeing. How bad you are right now, oh I wish you could see how great your damn body is, tattoo were made by a fire, some written masterpice by your own skin, right, I wrote it with a knife.

Oh, baby, are you forgot too? I made your boobies to be like that, needed lot of times before it grew bigger, and some food too to make your silly belly bloated like that. Yes, Dear, you may curvy as hell, but that is your main attractor.

Oh fuck, I can't hold it any much longer, might use your body for ... Dang it, I lost my count after tenth, maybe more, hahaha, oh my baby, my finest sculpture.

Scream now, scream louder, beg for your life, beg it, beg it, beg it, cuz I will always and ALWAYS fill your pathetic little cunt every single fucking night.

[satanrighthands]

I wish we never met.

Back in the day were I thought i'm human.

Back in the day were human still at war.

Back in the day were we a fighter.

We fought for our love, your Father never allowed you to have an affair with a guy they've been talked about, many rumor about me, many damned words about me, but you see into my eyes, stare into my souls. You smiles.

The smile that I always fight for, the smile that always warm to saw, the smile everyone's desire as you are their Princess. Yes, you are a Princess soon to be a Queen, rule the kingdom of your Father. But you never liked to be called Princess nor Queen, you just want to be like them, humble poor people, fight for your own life to survive.

You are always smiling when me and you blend well with the pople, they might look down on me, but you kept telling me, "For me, you are human to me." Yes, i'm just a mere mortal, same like them. That time.

But one day, everything seems collapsed, everything fell without i'm noticed. First thing first come into my mind that time, "Why, what's wrong?" I don't know what to say beside that, beside how cruel my feelihg that time.

People told me you are gonna be married with someone, a Prince from another land, wealthy man, charm of his can't be denied by every girls in this land, land of ours. Do I still can say it as our?

Few days passed, I sat on my room with a heart wounded, blood spill oozed out, and my mind is fucked. Why? Why you did this to me? Is it because of your family? Or is it just because of politics? I still figuring out, trying to find out. But i'm facing a dead end when I saw you holding his hand, greet everyone from the balcony, I see your smile, it isn't because of me.

[satanrighthands]

ANYTHING FOR YOU, LEO.

"Can you repeat it again?" I said whilst looking at you laid on the damned floor.

"Anything, anything for you, My Leo, anything. Use my body, use my soul, use everything of me, Leo. Please, please."

Pathetically saying that, begging for the miserable life you had, covered in bloods of human, and now SAYING THAT? Are you lost your GODDAMN MIND? You are pretty, your silky black hair, the smells is so nice makes me addicted, your glossy pink lips but why it turn to be so red?

"Oh pretty." I'm on my knees for you, I'm caressing your fluffy cheeks, the cheeks that used to have dimples, but now it covered in reds. "Hehehe, then, I can use everything on you, right?"

One of my elbows hits your shoulder, quickly holds you just because I don't want you to get away.

"It hurts. Leo."

I know it hurts, I perfectly aware it fucking hurts. Would you hold it? Would you stay for your Leo? Because... Hardly jab was meant for your stomach, no, no, no it isn't just one time punch, launched that punch for multiple times. The melodic groans are my favourite, feel it, FEEL IT.

"Leo, stop, please."

"Please, Leo. STOPPPP!"

No, not yet, not enough of pain. Stood up and grabs my own cutter. "Look what I got." soon as I got it, I show it, it is my purpose to make your brain thinking your end is near.

The blunt side I held while making an art on your chest. Don't worry, I won't make a quick trails on yours, it should be a nice long path on your body. Bloods are spilled out from the gap I made, the screams you make are difference than you made when we have sex. I like it this one.

Oh, I wanna make it longer and longer again, but the urge to thrust your slutty cunt are raising, so it should be doing. Hardly thrust the cutter into your cave, scratch it like a fingers inside your, making it bleeds so badly.

"Oh, are you squirting blood right now? Hehehe."

The other hands of mine punches your side cheeks for few times, wrist of mine whose held the cutter making a movement toward your stomach then scratching it there until it makes holes. It's actually hard to make it since I need to get through your organs first and even make you screaming your last breath.

"Anything, right?"

The situation turn to be more fucked up since your dead body turning me on so much. Anything, huh?

No one will know that I preserve your body with a subtance, treat it right just to make sure it isnt get rotten. Oh, I love your cunt when it don't get wet, I just need to get my lube and use you like a fuck toy. Real fuck toy.

Oh, how down bad are you for me, My Toy. Hahahhaaha.

[satanrighthands]

Bukankah kita berjanji untuk bertemu lagi? Sekedar bersama hingga mati?

Lalu, di mana dirimu berada? Di tempat kerja aku tak melihatmu. Di kafe biasa bersama aku tak menemukanmu. Puluhan panggilan telfon juga dirimu abaikan, sebenarnya ... apa yang ingin kamu sampaikan?

Kalau aku bisa mengulas tentang apa yang terjadi di belakang, dirimu selalu senang ketika aku ajak berkeliling kota, sekedar habiskan waktu bersama, hingga kita lupa untuk pulang.

Sejak kemarin kita terus bersama, semua komunikasi lancar seperti biasa, namun kenapa semuanya tiba-tiba berbeda? Apa ada yang sedang kamu sembunyikan?

Aku hanya berpikir kamu ingin sendiri karena sedang ingin saja, tapi ketika tidak berbicara? Kenapa pergi tanpa sebuah kata? Apa yang kamu ingin beritahukan kepadaku sebenarnya?

***

Oh?

Sungguh?

Jangan bercanda?

Bohong, kan?

Tidak, tidak, tidak, tidak, TIDAK!

***

Empat tahun lalu aku menyatakan cinta kepadamu, berlutut di hadapan banyaknya teman-teman satu kampus, aku ingat betapa indahnya senyumanmu, sampai-sampai ketika malam hari di hari yang sama aku masih berdebar.

Indah, hari paling indah di hidupku.

09-09-2020.

Tanggal yang indah, kan? Walau aku tau kamu lebih indah dari apapun yang ada di dunia.

Terima kasih, ya?

***

Ternyata, manusia itu semua sama saja. Berjanji untuk bersama, tapi pergi ketika sudah meraih asa. Mimpi berada dalam genggam karena dorongan senyuman, namun memilih bersama rangkulan.

Terima kasih, aku tidak pernah menyesal mengenal dan mengetahui soal dirimu, semoga bersama dirinya dengan jas hitam di tubuhnya dapat membuat kamu lebih bersinar cerah.

Terima kasih, ya, aku sudah tidak bersedih, kabar dari dirimu sudah cukup untuk aku, semoga dia tidak menyeka darahmu, semoga dia menyeka air matamu. Semoga segala harap yang aku panjatkan bisa menjadi kebahagian untukmu di masa depan bersamanya.

Terima kasih.

[satanrighthands]

HOW ARE YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, WHILE YOU NEVER SAW IT?

It buzzing my mind everytime I wanted to close my eyes. I even wondering how people have such faith to an entity that never shown Himself in front of people? How could it be real? What if it just mere of hallucinations of those wanderers.

***

Little did you know, i've been living in this world like a shit. They throw me up, they dump me up, they spat on me, and treat me like i'm just a mere of pathetic creature. I'm never complaining about that, I just ... curious. Why they did that?

Aren't we all the same?

Aren't we all in the same race?

What makes the difference?

Between you and me?

Does anybody could answer my question? Hello? Anybody? Please, answer me. But everytime I asked someone about why they did it, they said; "Ask your God." and how supposed to ask it if I didn't believe any?

Tell me, how? After all this time, all I did is by my own, I'm surviving, i'm standing on this ground, and I breathing by the help of my organs. Then, how could God take part of it?

***

Back in the day when I still young, I still had my parents back there, they went to the Church and go to Mosque every Friday. I aks my Mom about why they didn't going together, her answer always the same; "Mom and Dad doesn't have the same religion, but our God is the same." Then i'm questioning myself, 'What religions are?'.

Ah, it fucked me up since i'm a young kid, even in the school they bullied me and call me; "Yo! Kid from whore's womb." I never mad at them, their punches their kick on my gut, never ever I hate it, and never made me cry, then I start wondering; What's wrong in me? Aren't we the same? Aren't we humans?

I have no friends back there, tck, who the fuck wanted to be a friend of whore's kid? I always ate my lunch in the bathroom, hiding from the bullies because they always ask my goodies, my Mom made it every single morning when Father already gone to work.

That time, I ask myself, "When it is over?"

***

My teenager life also suck, when I still in college they called me as four eyes, yes, I do wear glasses but only to read books. Not much on my college life, it so fucking boring.

But thing start messing around when i'm about graduating, there's a person who came to me and said, "Do you wanna earn cash easily?" I was broke that time, I was nobody, I was afraid too, but I still accept that since I need much much money to survive.

He gave me a pack of greens, they told me to sell it to anyone who want it, usually they arrange a gathering on the back of college, girls, boys, even an old man with bikers shirt are there to buy the stuff I have.

I trust him easily and do what he says, I went there to meet bunch of people. He is right, I met dozens of people I sold them the good stuff, everyone bought it, even a guy told me to bring much more tomorrow and he will pay me nicely, I accept it easily.

On the next day, I met him again, just like he says, he bought it all and gave me so many money. I'm so fucking happy that time, I even can start to talk with my crush after I bought here a Gucci bag.

It so quick and I don't realize we are dating after few days talking. Business was so smooth, relationship are good, sex are the best part too, I feel like I have the world in me.

And for the first time, they are looking for Ian, my name. They are looking for me to buy new stuff that I sold to everyone, but sadly that day everything was sold. I have nothing left in my pokcet and ask them to wait until tomorrow.

The next day I'm about to grab the stuff, but the courier not showing up. I'm sweating, worrying, where the hell that person is, all I can do that time are just waiting.

Few hours waiting, I got nothing, phone is ringing, customer can wait any longer, what I should do words coming to my mind, before I could answer my own words, cops are coming.

I'm running as fast as I could, I jump off someone's yard, climbing on someone's fence, but still cops got me after shoot my ankle, i'm groaning, and can do nothing.

***

Few days after the tragedy, I got myself behind the bars, they sentenced me for couple of years because the shit I made, and that time I was nineteen, i'm already legal, no wonder why they can hold me for years or more in here.

Jail life are sucks, so fucking sucks, I hope you never went there, not much about things in jail, a monotonous life circle, doing this and that, fighting this and that, sucks.

I almost took a suicide, but my roomnate hold me for not doing that stupidity, he said I should live as new me, jail is like a cave, a big cave, in here you are meditating, finding your inner peace before you welcoming the real world after this.

***

Couple of years passed, and here I am, a new person with the same habits. Yeah, I still smoke my weed, I grab my drugs, I also sold my dick picture online, fuck for money, everything, I did everything for life. Twenty twenty four are the year of me to shine brightly, oh, I love this life.

[satanrighthands]

Asa dari sebuah nestapa.

Bukankah dirimu salah satu korban kekejian darinya? Membuai dirimu mesra dengan imajinasi buatannya? Menyetubuhi dirimu bagaikan engkaulah orang terpilih dari jutaan manusia?

Hingga akhirnya dirimu menutup wajahmu yang menangis dengan topeng, menutup luka yang kamu sesali seakan dirimu tidak pernah merasakan pedihnya sengsara, maukah dirimu membukanya sekejap saja? Memperbolahkan aku mengintip sedikit saja apa yang sudah tercoreng.

Sebenarnya ... Dirimu indah, dirimu jauh lebih indah dari topeng yang kamu perlihatkan, dengan darah bersimbah di atas wajah, senyuman manis seakan luka bukanlah sebuah nestapa, boleh beritahu aku siapa sebenernya pelaku kekejian?

Jika dirimu menyebut dunia, aku akan tertawa, tertawa karena aku pun juga sama, dilucuti dengan banyaknya tipu daya, hingga aku tenggelam dan inginkan mati, tidak ingin lagi meratapi, hanya ingin tenang dan pergi, lagipula, siapa yang perduli kepada kita?

Jika pun ada, aku harap itu kamu, kamu yang perduli dengan bagaimana aku mati, kamu yang mendekap tubuh dingin ini, karena aku tau, bahwa suatu saat nanti kamu juga akan datang lagi, tapi bukan di dunia nan fana.

Tetapi di neraka, tempat penyesalan semua umat manusia, menyesali tragedi kita bersama, dengan cambukan tanpa henti, aku ingin melihat kamu tersenyum nanti, boleh, kan?

Sebelum itu semua terjadi, biarkan aku menggenggam erat tubuh milikmu penuh duri, aku tidak lagi perduli, jika hanya sebuah luka dan darah aku sudah terbiasa, karena semua permainan itu sudah membuat banyak luka, luka yang akan aku ingat sampai hari terakhir umat manusia.

Sekarang, bukalah topeng di wajahmu, tidak-tidak jangan lihat ke sana, tataplah diriku, hanya melihat ke aku. Penuh luka sama sepertimu, bukan?

Lihat ke depan sana dan genggam tangan ini, walau aku tau aku abadi, aku tidak pernah lupa bagaimana kira pernah bersama, meskipun sesaat saja, aku ingin melihat itu semua sebelum kamu pergi.

[satanrighthands]

Sejarah tak tercatat.

Mereka mengatakan bahwa sejarah ditulis oleh pemenang, sejarah diciptakan oleh mereka yang pantas untuk dikenang. Bagaimana dengan kelahiran sebuah teror dan ancaman bagi insan di dunia?

Kisahnya tidak pernah dicatat oleh manusia, namun dikenang di kepala para Satanisme.

06-06-1666.

Lambang dari Satan, lambang dari sebuah teror, meneror siapa saja ketika melihat gabungan angka tersebut.

Bagi para penganut Satanisme angka tersebut berarti tentang kelahiran makhluk dari rahim seorang wanita muda.

Ketika malam itu langit jauh lebih hitam dari biasanya, sambaran kilat menerangi langit malam, cahaya bulan penuh tidak menembus hitamnya langit. Gunung-gunung berapi memuntahkan laharnya secara bersamaan, lautan seolah berteriak, menyambut kedatangannya, beberapa angin puting beliung menerpa sekitar seakan melindungi sebuah kuil tua nan usang.

Kuil lama tidak digunakan, banyak menganggap bahwa kuil itu sudah tidak lagi layak dipergunakan. Bagipengikut ajaran Satanisme tempat itu menjadi tempat yang cocok untuk melahirkan penerus Tuhan mereka. Penyebar teror dan mimpi buruk, bencana alam, juga kehancuran alam dunia.

Wanita muda berusia belasan tahun dijadikan inang bagi Satan, inang yang membawa anaknya agar lahir ke muka dunia. Ketika waktunya sudah hampir sampai, wanita di atas pentagram mulai menjerit, menjerit kesakitan kala perut terasa ingin dikoyak, pupil hitam mata tenggelam menyisakan putihnya, jari jemari seakan ingin putus ketika kuku menancap di atas kayu altar.

Wanita di sana tak pernah menyangka jika hidupnya harus berakhir demikian. Selama hidup ia terus berbakti kepada Tuhan, mengikuti ajaran Tuhan, bahkan berencana untum menjadi seorang birawati.

Tapi Satan berkata lain, hidup wanita itu harus menanggung beban sebagai Ibu dari anaknya, harus menjadi rahim dari seorang anak Satan.

Pastor tertinggi berjalan mendekati, jubah hitam menyentuh lantai menyelimuti tubuhnya, kala berjalan ia berkata, "Sambutlah wahai anak-anakku." Pisau ditancap ke sisi kulit perut, menyayat perut tersebut untuk mengeluarkan seorang bayi. "ANAK DARI SATAN! ANTICHRIST!"

Bayi dengan lambang pentagram merah di dadanya, tiga angka enam tergambar di dahinya, tangisannya menggemparkan dunia, petir saling menyambar, ombak laut tak beraturan, angin terhembus sangat cepat.

"WELCOME OUR FUTURE! OUR PERFECT CREATURE! THE ANTICHRIST!"

[satanrighthands]

Bukankah tangisanmu jauh lebih berharga daripada jiwaku?

Oh, manis.

Oh, kasih.

Oh, sayang.

Lihatlah dirimu, menangis, sendu sekali wajahmu. Mengapa? Siapa membuatmu bersedih seperti ini? Bukankah engkau lebih cocok untuk tersenyum dan berseri setiap hari?

Sayang, lihat aku, lihat wajahku, lihat bagaimana lelaki yang selalu memanjakanmu. Memberimu kasih, cinta, rasa nyaman, apa menurutmu semua itu kurang, wahai terkasih?

Apa dirimu lupa dengan bagaimana kita beradu suara, menciptakan tangga melodi di setiap saat tubuh kita menyatu, bukankah kita juga menyukai bagaimana dahaga menyerang ketika kita tak bersama?

Sayang, tolong, tolong sebentar saja, lihat tubuh kurus tanpa pakaian ini mencoba mendekatimu, menyeka air mata milikmu, semuanya akan baik-baik saja, tidak ada sesiapa, hanya kita berdua, begitu terus sampai kita menua.

"GILA! ORANG GILA!"

Suaramu yang lantang dan mendorong tubuhku membuat kedua bola mataku membulat, aku ingin bertanya mengapa, namun kau cela.

"JAUH! JAUH! PERGI! ARGH! JANGAN MENDEKAT ATAU KUBUNUH!"

Getaran pada tanganmu memberitahu aku bahwa kamu takut, aku pun ingin bertanya lagi, tapi tangismu pecah, mengapa, ada apa dengan dirimu, sayang? Kenapa dirimu begitu takut terhadapku? Bukankah semuanya spesial? Bukankah kita sudah sejauh ini?

"WANITA TOLOL MANA YANG MAU DENGAN PSIKOPAT KAYAK ELO!"

Psikopat? Entah mengapa, aku justru tersenyum, tertawa, dan bahkan menarik lenganmu, membiarkan pisau itu sedikit masuk ke dalam kulitku.

"Hahaha, lalu, kenapa? Memangnya ada yang mau sama jalang kayak kamu selain aku?"

Oh, apa kamu lupa sudah berapa malam rahim milikmu penuh? Berkat obat tidur dan beberapa bius, aku bisa menghasilkan anak atas perzinahan kita. Iya. KITA.

Aku susah menahan tawa kalau sudah seperti ini, izinkan aku untuk tertawa sampai kotak suara pecah.

"Siapa yang mau dengan barang rusak? Nggak ada. Nggak ada sedikitpun, sekalipun mereka mau, mereka cuma mau tubuhmu? Setelah itu?"

Oh, betapa halusnya tubuhmu, penuh luka, penuh lebam, perut membuncit, wajah hancur karena sayatan pisau, astaga, kamu benar-benar sebuah pahatan terbaik yang pernah aku punya!

"Setelah itu, mereka menelantarkanmu, menggunakanmu sesuka hati, karena dasar apa? CINTA! HAHAHAHHAHA"

MARI KITA MATI BERSAMA, DENGAN SEBUAH PISTOL, SATU PELURU UNTUK BERDUA! SELAMAT TINGGAL DUNIA! UCAPKAN SALAM UNTUK LACUR DAN ORANG GILA! HAHAHAHAHA!