A/N: posting schedule who? I post whenever I feel like it (I get too excited to save anything)
Addison Montgomery x Meredith Grey
Addison’s injuries had been healing up nicely. That’s what all her doctors were saying, anyway. Her head injury had been symptomless for days now, so Derek was officially off her case, which she was extremely grateful for. If she had to listen to one more spiel about how badly she fucked his life up she just might jump out a window.
Her leg hadn’t been as well off as the rest of her. Her burns were superficial, they had healed with limited scarring, but once Meredith had finally deemed her well enough to start trying to get up, they had realized the true gravity of the situation. She was going to have to learn to walk again, all the way from the beginning.
It was Sunday. She had refused to eat or get out of bed for two days now. In her defense, learning that you wouldn’t be able to go back to the job you loved for at least six months wasn’t the best news in the world.
Meredith stepped into the room, cautiously. She set a tray of food on the end of the bed, sitting down beside her.
“Addison, you really need to eat something.” She wrung her hands together. “I know it’s bad. I can’t imagine how you feel. But your body needs fuel if it’s going to heal.”
“No, you really can’t imagine it, can you?” Addison was facing the other way. “My work is… it’s everything, Dr. Grey. It’s all I have left.”
“There are other things, Addison.” Meredith furrowed her brow, leaning forward. She wanted to offer some kind of comfort, something tangible, but she didn’t want to push her luck. “It’s not forever. You’ll be back as soon as you’re healed. But you’ll heal faster if you eat.”
Begrudgingly, Addison sat up, grabbing the tray from the end of the bad and setting it on her lap. She hated hospital food, she really did, but it was better than what she would be eating out on the assignment. She poked at the meal, taking a small bite. “You’re too nice to me,” she mumbled.
“To be fair, I did steal your husband.” It was meant to come off as playful, but her tone was more sad than anything.
“You didn’t steal him.” Addison sighed. “He was gone before he left.”
She ate in silence after that. She couldn’t fathom why Meredith had been wasting so much time on her case. There had to be more interesting things to do around the hospital. And yet she sat there, the entire time, just in case Addison might want to talk. She didn’t. She’d honestly rather rip her hair out than talk about Derek anymore.
After she was finished, Meredith took the tray and left. She came back a couple hours later. Addison was halfway through the cheesy Hallmark movie that was playing on the TV.
“I think we should try to walk again,” Meredith said softly. Addison ignored her. “Just a few steps, then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”
For a long moment, it was quiet. Addison stared at the TV, determined to ghost the doctor out of existence. Meredith was persistent, though. And extremely stubborn.
“Fine,” she finally grumbled. “If it’ll get you to leave me alone for five seconds, fine.”
Meredith smiled, walking over to the bed. Addison sat up, dangling her legs over the side for a moment before Meredith started to help her up. It hurt. It hurt more than anything she’d ever experienced. Any weight on her leg felt like she was back in that fire, letting the flames eat her alive. She kept a straight face, though. She knew better than anyone how to hide her own pain.
“Good, you’re doing good,” Meredith said as Addison steadied herself. She could stand at least. That was a start. But after a moment, it was like her right leg wasn’t there at all. It was all numb and fuzzy, and she wasn’t confident she could even move it. Meredith, no matter how well crafted Addison’s facade was, could see through it. “It’s okay. Take your time. Just a couple steps. That’s all we have to do today.”
Addison had never been one for taking her time with anything. In hindsight, this might have been a good place to start with that. She wasn’t thinking when she pushed herself forward off the bed, determined to be better than she was. She stumbled, nearly hitting the wall before Meredith caught her.
Angry, hot tears built up in her eyes as Meredith helped her back into bed. She was tired of feeling so helpless. Her whole life, she’d taken care of herself. She had never needed anyone, for anything. But here she was, unable to walk on her own without nearly knocking herself out.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” She hated how calm Meredith was. How calm and nice and perfect and beautiful and everything Addison wasn’t. “You stood up. That’s good enough for me.”
The rest of the day was quiet. Addison drowned herself in shitty romcoms and reality TV, tuning out every voice in her head that was telling her she wasn’t good enough. She wanted to believe what everyone was telling her—that she would get better in no time and be back in the field, just like she wanted. She knew it wasn’t true, though. She knew that, at the end of it all, she’d end up like all the other broken firefighters destined to work the rest of their lives in dispatch, watching as everyone else got to do what they wanted to do so badly.
It was ironic, really. Her whole life she had seen everyone else get what she wanted. She guessed she’d just have to add this to the list. The one thing she thought was really hers.
“How's Addison?”
Derek took the seat beside Meredith at the bar. She ignored him. She stared right down at her hands and pretended he didn’t exist.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” She mumbled.
Derek sighed, sitting back. “Meredith, really. How long is this gonna go on for? It’s been weeks.”
“Barely two.” She finally looked at him. “I don’t know why you’re asking me about her when you so clearly don’t care. Because if you did, you’d go see her.”
“She doesn’t want to see me.” He shook his head, looking up at her over his glass. “She had to have told you that.”
“She doesn’t like talking about you. I can imagine why. I’m surprised she even tolerates me.” Meredith went to stand up, but Derek grabbed her arm. Regrettably, she let him.
“Mer, you don’t have the full story here.”
She paused, still not facing him, her body tense. “Then what is?”
Derek just shook his head, letting her go. “It’s complicated. Can we just talk? Please. You’ve been avoiding me every chance you get.”
Meredith sat back down. For a couple minutes, they were both quiet. Derek finally spoke, only once he could sense her growing restlessness.
“I came home one night, after work. It was late. I’d just gotten out of surgery.” He took a sip of his drink. “I walked in the door, and something was different.”
Something had changed. Meredith hadn’t said anything, but Addison could tell. Something was different. That warm, compassionate look in her eye had vanished.
“Do you want to try again today?” Meredith smiled, in a way that didn’t quite meet her eyes. Addison narrowed her expression, studying her.
“What’s wrong with you?”
The act vanished. Meredith straightened up, confused. “What?”
“You’re acting weird.” Addison sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Meredith was at her side in an instant, supporting her as she tried to stand on her own. The pain was there, dull and throbbing, but she ignored it. Meredith’s grip on her arm was firm, but not too tight. Just enough to ground her.
She was able to successfully walk all the way to the chair beside the hospital bed, and as her reward she got to stay there until Meredith left. The blonde had been quiet, making notes in Addison’s chart and overall avoiding eye contact. It was infuriating. Not to mention the blatant lack of praise for Addison’s progress. She shoved that thought deep down, though. No need to unpack all that now. Why should she care, anyway? She didn’t need some doctor to tell her she was doing a good job at not being as sick as she started.
“Seriously, Grey. You’re quiet. It's creepy.”
Meredith looked up from her chart, the most frustrating oblivious look on her face. “Hm?”
“What’s your problem?”
“I talked to Derek,” she finally blurted out. Addison nodded, looking away, a self deprecating smile on her face.
“Ah, that’s it. I knew it was coming but, you know, I thought he might at least have the courtesy to tell me when he decided to spill.” She leaned back, kicking her good leg out in front of her while the other stayed stiff and uncomfortable.
Meredith didn’t respond. She simply went back to finishing her chart before standing up. “I’ll be back to check on you later, okay? Get a nurse if you need anything.” But don’t page me. Addison finished the sentence in her mind as Meredith helped her back to bed and left.
As soon as the blonde was out of sight, Izzie slipped into the room, bearing a peace offering. She set a muffin down on the bed, looking at Addison expectantly.
“Thank you,” she grumbled, grabbing the muffin and peeling the paper wrapping off. “What do you want?”
“What was that about?” Izzie asked, her voice hushed as she sat down. They had begun to make a habit of these gossip sessions. It kept Addison from going crazy being stuck in her room all day.
“I guess it’s time I confess before you find it out from someone else,” Addison mumbled through a mouthful of muffin. “I cheated on Derek. That’s why he left me.”
Izzie’s eyes widened. “You did?”
Addison nodded. “Yup. With his best friend, no less. I really am the devil.” She leaned back, ripping another piece off of the muffin. It was her new favorite, from the cafe down the street. “Grey totally loathes me now, for real. It was good while it lasted.”
Izzie shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, she was acting weird this morning, but she was still talking about you like always.”
Addison sat up slightly, tilting her head. “What do you mean, ‘like always’?”
The intern looked away, like she had just spilled a secret she knew she should have kept. “Oh, uh… you know. SHe just talks about your progress and stuff.”
“Is that so?” Addison’s solemn expression had been replaced by an amused smirk. “Well, maybe I haven’t lost my bedside angel after all.”
Dr. Bailey passed by the room, and Izzie quickly scrambled to her feet, mumbling out a quick goodbye before fleeing to avoid getting scolded. Addison finished her muffin in silence, mind running wild with what exactly Meredith had been saying about her all this time.
“Grey!”
Meredith was trying to sneak past Addison’s room for the tenth time that day, and Addison wasn’t having it. Begrudgingly, Meredith stopped and stepped inside.
“Yes? Do you need something? I can get a nurse-”
“No- no. We’re not doing that.” Addison was smug. Too smug. Meredith hated it. “A little birdie told me there’s been some locker room talk about me. What’s that about?”
Meredith narrowed her eyes. “I’m gonna kill Izzie.”
“Aw, no, don’t. She’s my only friend in this hellhole.” Addison adjusted the pillow against her back, sitting up a little straighter. “So you don’t hate me? What about Derek?”
The sound of his name alone was enough to send irritation coursing through Meredith’s veins. She stepped further into the room, deciding that if she was going to be stuck talking she might as well do her normal checks. “What about him?”
Addison’s smile widened. “Then you didn’t take him back? Good girl.”
Meredith was happy she was facing downward, her nose buried in Addison’s chart. She didn’t know why exactly that simple phrase had sent such a rush through her body, but she didn’t exactly want to find out either.
“No, I didn’t,” she mumbled, waiting until the heat drained from her face to set the chart down. She looked up at Addison, who was looking triumphant as ever. It was infuriating, how no matter what was happening, she was always so convinced she had won. Metredith hated it. She hated everything about the woman. Her stupid, gorgeous face. Her stupid intoxicating voice. Her stupid perseverance and her stupid stubborn attitude. She hated it all. And she hated that she knew Derek still wanted her, even as he insisted on trying to fix things between them. He had asked Meredith again that morning if they could talk things out, and she had, as always, refused. She didn’t know why, but she was much more invested in Addison’s case than she had ever been in mending her relationship with Derek.
“But he told you?” Addison pressed. Meredith just nodded in response.
“Hey, I was thinking,” she decided she should change the subject before things turned on her. “You’ve been stuck in bed for a couple weeks now with limited movement. I know it seems small, but sometimes a good reset can help with motivation and morale.”
Addison nodded, unsure of where this was going. “Okay?”
“I think you should try to take a shower. I mean, sponge baths are great, but you’ve been doing really good the past couple days. I think you’re ready.”
Suddenly, the armor that Addison had built up around herself crumbled. She had just started feeling like she was in control again, and it slipped away so easily. She was once again forcibly reminded that she was broken, stuck in a hospital bed, and incapable of caring for herself.
Meredith watched the way her face fell. The shadow that fell over her eyes, the insecurity that followed her suggestion. Suddenly, she felt very clumsy and very stupid.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to, Addison. I know this is hard for you.”
“No, no- it’s fine. That sounds nice, I just… I don't really want you to see me like that, you know? I mean, having to help me walk is embarrassing enough, isn’t it?” She didn’t know why she cared so much, but the thought of baring herself to Meredith, of being completely vulnerable—it made her feel nauseous.
“Thats okay, Addison. I can get someone else. I can have a nurse do it. No pressure, okay?”
Meredith went to leave, but Addison called after her. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know what compelled the action, it happened before she could even think about it.
“No, I- I want you to do it.”
The blonde paused in the doorway, still for a moment before turning around. Addison was expecting her to look smug, like she had won something, but she didn’t. That same look of compassion, of true, genuine care, painted her face, just like it always did.
Addison shut herself down for most of it. She hated this. She hated feeling like something to fix. She stared blankly at the wall while Meredith helped her stand up under the running water, gently washing her hair. It was warm. The heat helped relax all the lingering tension in Addison’s muscles. It was nice, no matter how embarrassed she was. No matter how badly she wished she could just disappear.
But then there was Meredith, with her gentle hands and soft skin, scratching her scalp while she rubbed shampoo into dull red hair. Meredith and her kind eyes and soothing voice. Meredith and the way she steadied Addison as she stepped out of the hospital shower, helping her dry off and changing her bandages. And Addison didn’t want to admit it, not even to herself, but she knew that she wouldn’t have let anyone else see her like this. She hated Meredith, and how easily Derek had fallen for her. The way he looked at her, the way Izzie had told Addison that he spoke about her. She hated the thought, but he really, truly loved Meredith, in a way he had never loved her. His wife, who he had spent eleven years with and never truly known.
And yet, through all of that Addison trusted her. She trusted Meredith with this ugly, broken part of herself, and she wanted nothing more than to peel herself open and let Meredith see the rest of it, because she knew that she would see it all, pick at every piece, and still hold no judgment in those kind, blue eyes.
A/N: i'm having to go back and rewatch season two to really figure out dynamics and a few scenes I wanted to include. I'm still trying to figure out the plotline, so the first few chapters might be a little choppy. i'm sorry about that. i'm really enjoying writing this though!! knowing that there are at least a couple people who liked the first chapter motivated me to finish this one quickly. I'm sorry If there are any mistakes or typos I don't have a beta reader
Addison Montgomery x Meredith Grey
Meredith had never run so fast in her life. She had just spoken to Derek about this case, and he had conveniently neglected to mention that the woman she had just operated on was his wife.
“Derek!” She grabbed his arm, ripping him away from his conversation with another attending and dragging him down the hall. “You lying, cheating, bastard! What the hell is wrong with you!?” As soon as they were in a semi private section of the hospital, she slapped him, shoving him backwards.
For a moment, he was stunned, bringing his hand up to his face. “Meredith, what the hell are you talking about?”
“You have a wife! You have a wife who I just did surgery on!” She crossed her arms. “You’re married!?”
He frowned, biting the inside of his cheek. “Mer, seriously, I was going to-“
Meredith shook her head, waving him off and storming away, leaving him stunned in the hallway. She made her way back to the room her patient was in, standing in the doorway for a second. Addison looked up from her conversation with her friend, an unimpressed look on her face.
“You’re back.”
“Uh…” Meredith kicked the toe of her sneaker against the floor. “Yeah, I- I feel like i need to apologize. I mean, I don’t know you, but… I didn’t know Derek was married. I swear-“
“He slept with you?” Addison scoffed, looking away. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say. He wasted no time.”
Her friend, looking extremely awkward and unsure of what to make of the situation, got up and snuck out of the room. Meredith pulled at her sleeve.
“Yeah, I- I thought that’s what you meant when-“
“Just go.” Addison put a hand up, looking over to stare at the wall. “Go. And tell Derek to leave me the hell alone.”
And so she did. Meredith slunk back, retreating to the first empty on call room she could find. She paged Cristina, unsure of what else to do. She had just found out she was unknowingly involved in an affair, against her own will, victimizing a patient who had already been through a traumatic near death experience and was now finding out that her husband had been sleeping with another woman.
Cristina was there in a few minutes, looking frazzled and confused. “911? What, Mer?”
“Derek is married.”
Cristina just stared at her for a second, shaking her head slightly. “What- he’s married?”
Meredith nodded, stepping back to slump onto the bed behind her. “He’s married. That woman who I operated on, the firefighter, that’s his wife.”
“Well, he’s stupid if he’s cheating on that.”
Meredith gave her a look.
“Sorry, sorry. But, like, am I wrong? She’s hot? And a firefighter. Double hot.”
“Cristina-“
“Okay! Okay. Sorry.” Cristina sat down next to her. “I’m sorry, Mer. If it makes you feel better, I think he’s a prick anyway. You deserve better.” She sighed, collapsing backwards. “Well, I have a horrible confession too, which will really make you feel better. I’m pregnant.”
Meredith opened her mouth to speak, but Cristina put a hand up.
“Nope. I win. That’s it.”
“What are you gonna do?” Meredith leaned forward.
“I can’t be pregnant, Mer. You know what happens to pregnant interns.” They were both quiet for a moment. Meredith nodded.
“Which begs the question, who are you sleeping with?”
Cristina shook her head, standing up and walking towards the door. “Just– a guy. Nobody. It’s nothing. I’m really sorry about Derek, Mer.”
The door opened and shut, and Meredith was left alone again.
“Addison, what are you doing here?” Derek mumbled, dropping her chart on the end of the bed.
She rolled her eyes, shifting in bed. He sat in the chair beside her. “Your hair’s different.” She avoided the question. He already knew the answer, anyway. He ran first, but she could run too, and she was a hell of a lot better at it.
“A lot of things are different. What are you doing here?”
“It’s longer. I like it.” She reached out to touch it, and he pushed her hand away. “What are you doing here, you were just gonna pick up and leave everything? Your house, your practice, your friends… me? You had a life in Manhattan.”
He leaned back, crossing his arms. “Had.”
“And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle.” She sighed, tilting her head to rest against her shoulder. “She seems…. sweet.”
Derek leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. “The ice your on—thin-”
“She’s young,” she interrupted him. “That whole wide eyed, ‘Ooh he’s a brain surgeon’ thing going on, but still sweet. Which is what you were going for, right?” She looked away. “The anti-Addison?”
“If you came here to try and win me back you can forget about it-”
“Win you back?” She let out a dry laugh. “God, you’re so full of yourself.” She leaned back in bed, staring at the opposite wall. “I came all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed, and make you realize you can’t live without me.” She looked back at him, a tired, oh so over it smirk on her face. “I’m here for work, Derek. Relax. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? I got myself all fucked up again, and you get to fix me like you always do.”
Derek got up, shoving the chair backwards so hard it hit the wall. Just as he was leaving, she called after him.
“The hair, Derek, really.”
He waved her off, disappearing down the hall.
The air in Seattle Grace hospital had become stiff and dangerous ever since Addison’s arrival. Meredith and Derek hadn’t spoken. It seemed like every time one of them came walking down the hall, everything went quiet. Though Addison had been confined to a hospital bed as it all had happened, she had a knack for noticing these things. And notice she did.
“Hey, you! Intern.”
Izzie stopped in the hallway outside the room, looking over at Addison, unsure if she was the one who had been summoned. She pointed to herself, and Addison nodded. “Yes, you. You’re Meredith’s friend?”
Izzie stepped into the room. “Uhm.. friend is a heavy word, but I guess so. Yes. Aren’t you-”
“Shepherd’s wife? I am.” Addison motioned to the IV in her arm. “Is there any chance I can mooch some more pain meds off of you?”
“Oh, uhm… why don’t you ask a nurse-?”
“Give me meds, and I’ll give you the gossip. Deal?”
Izzie stared at her for a second before quickly nodding, slipping out of the room and down the hall. In just a few minutes, any residual pain Addison had been experiencing was long gone. She sighed, relaxing back into the stiff sheets.
“So what happened with you and Dr. Shepherd?” Izzie asked, her voice hushed. “I mean, he kind of just showed up here a few months ago, right before our internship started. He’s from New York, right?”
Addison nodded, waving her hand dismissively. “We got in a fight. He decided to run away.”
“Then why are you here?”
She stared at the ceiling, taking a deep, frustrated breath. “Well, I guess we all run when things get hard, don’t we?”
“So you’re a firefighter?”
“That I am.”
“How did you get so hurt?”
Addison barked out a laugh. “Well, you see, it seems karma came to bite me in the ass long before I expected it to.” She pulled the blanket back, revealing her bandaged thigh. “Tree to the leg. Not a great way to go down.”
“Will you be able to work when you’re healed?” Izzie was so… eager. Addison hadn’t expected so many questions.
“I hope so. What else will I do with my life?”
Just then, Meredith walked by. She paused, looking over to Izzie for a moment before giving her a pointed look and ushering her out of the room. Izzie ran off, looking absolutely terrified.
“I’m sorry about her,” Meredith shook her bed, poking at the monitors as she approached the bed. “We’re really not supposed to… hover. Hey, your heart rate was kind of elevated, are you feeling alright? Any pain?”
Addison shook her head, studying Meredith’s face for a moment. The intern didn’t seem to notice her staring, which Addison appreciated. She couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Meredith was. Blonde, young, blue eyes, perfect face. She could imagine why Derek had gone for her.
“No, no pain… that jumpy intern gave me some stuff to help with that. And it’s alright, really. It’s nice to have company.” She reached out to trace the railing on the side of the bed.
“Where’s your firefighter friend? Mark?”
Addison smiled. “He had to get back to the project. They’re gonna need extra help now that I’m out of commission.”
“I’m sorry. It does get pretty lonely.” Meredith wrote something down on Addison’s chart before finally looking up at her. “Just hit that button if you need anything, okay? Tell a nurse to page me, or something. Anything you need.”
Meredith left then, not giving Addison a chance to respond. The beeping of the monitor was like the incessant, mocking noise of a songbird. Addison stared after the blonde, unable to quite decipher all the emotions running rampant through her mind. She should hate that girl. She should really hate her. She suspected the guilt of knowing this was ultimately her fault was what kept her from wanting to rip her head off.
That, and maybe Meredith’s willingness to be so kind to her, so attentive, despite not knowing her at all. Addison knew that as soon as that dam broke, the quiet blanket of civility would vanish. She would become the bad guy again, and the nice sweet doctor act would fall through. She just hoped it didn’t happen too soon. She was sort of enjoying having someone on her side.
A/n: wanted to write some oneshots to keep me from going insane writing hotshot, my requests are open if anyone has any suggestions :3
𑣲. Addison montgomery x reader
Addison had always known about your affinity for plush toys. The first time she had ever been back at your apartment, it was the first thing she’d noticed. The stuffed animals piled on the corner of your bed, more of them strewn about the place. You had…. A large collection. More than she had ever seen in one place. She didn’t quite understand your need for the things, let alone quite a large amount of them.
“Addie!” You caught up with her in the hallway after visiting with a patient. You had been on Peds for weeks now, and you were seriously starting to love it. She had enjoyed watching your passion for the specialty grow, even if it meant less time with you at work. “Addison, wait up!”
Addison paused, tapping her fingers against the chart in her hands. “Yes?”
“I have something for you.” You grinned, and only then did she notice your hands mischievously hidden behind your back.
“Alright then. Let’s see it.”
You took her hand and brought it up to her eyes. She let out a chuckle, but obliged, covering them while you pulled the object from behind your back and placed it in her free hand. When she opened them, there was a small stuffed horse sitting in her palm.
“Whats this?”
“It’s for you. You don’t have any, so I figured… might as well start your collection.” You took the stuffed horse again, tucking it into the pocket of her lab coat. “See? Perfect. The kids will love you even more now.”
She nodded. “Ah. I see.”
“Do you like it?” You rocked back and forth on your feet, giving her that pathetic, pleading puppy look that she hated so deeply. It was so easy for you to get under her skin and pull out the genuine version of herself that she had worked so hard to hide.
“I do. Thank you.” She gently patted the horses head. “Now, I have a patient.” She held up the chart in her hands.
“Right.” You nodded. “I’ll see you later?”
She just hummed, reaching out to let her hand drift down your arm, lingering on your fingers for a moment before she finally pulled away and disappeared down the hall.
After that incident, she began to find gifts left around for her. Plush animals hidden among her things with notes held in their little stuffed paws, grand declarations that you were much too nervous to ever say out loud, let alone to her face. It was your way of showing her you cared without having to expose yourself in that way. She would never admit it, but she loved it. She had begun her own small collection, a pile of little creatures that lived beside her pillow, and had to admit, it was nice to have something to hold every night.
A/N: Had this idea today while at work and just had to write it. first ever greys fic... wish me luck. i'm hoping for at least weekly updates with this, depending on how busy I get
Summary: Addison Montgomery knows who she is. She knows what she's capable of. She doesn't need anyone else. She's always prided herself on that, or at least on her ability to convince herself of its truth.
Moving to Oregon to join the RDM Smokejumpers crew was supposed to be a fresh start. Her hotshot career had set her up well. She had her pick of any base in the country, and Redmond was one of the most renowned. It was a distraction, a fresh, clean slate, away from the drama of her marriage.
After suffering a severe injury on an assignment, though, she ends up stuck in a hospital between the one person she was trying to escape, and the one who will soon force her to see herself clearly.
Addison Montgomery x Meredith Grey
It was hot. That was all Addison could feel. Desperate, clinging heat licking at every part of her body. Someone grabbed her arm and yanked her backwards, and the heat became less suffocating, but a sharp pain shot from her shoulder to her fingertips.
“Addison!” Mark yelled, still dragging her backwards through the ash and dirt. Everything hurt. Her shoulder, her face, most of all though her leg. It felt warm and wet and like she was being stabbed repeatedly.
As Mark let go of her, she brought a shaky hand up to wipe the soot from her face, looking down at her right thigh. There was a charred branch sticking clean through it. Looking at it only made it hurt more, and she felt dizzy, so she laid back on the ground.
“What the hell happened?” She mumbled. Mark was on his radio, calling for an evac. He knelt down next to her, brushing ash off of her coat.
“Don’t worry about that right now. Try and stay awake, yeah? We’ve got people coming for you.” He pulled her helmet off, wiping the sweat off her face with the back of his glove. “It’s gonna be okay, Addie. We’ve got people coming.”
“Jesus Christ." She sighed. The pain was starting to become too much. She could feel herself slipping.
She woke up in a hospital bed, stiff and hooked up to god knows what. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the light. Everything was stark white, clean and sanitized. It reminded her a little too much of home.
“Addison.”
She turned her head at the unfamiliar voice. A woman was standing beside her, in scrubs and a white lab coat. The nametag on her breast pocket read Dr. Grey.
“What?” Her voice was hoarse and rough, no doubt from smoke inhalation. The doctor put her hand up, indicating for Addison not to speak.
“You should rest your voice. You inhaled a lot of smoke. Do you remember what happened? There was an accident on your assignment. They had to lifelight you.”
Addison just groaned, nodding and closing her eyes. She was so tired, even though she knew she had probably been sleeping for hours.
“You lost a lot of blood, and you suffered some minor burning on your left side. Your right leg was impaled by a branch, but luckily we were able to remove it without losing any critical function. You won’t be able to walk on it for a few months though, so, naturally, you’ll be out off work until you fully heal.” Dr. Grey set her chart down on the end of the hospital bed, her eyes quickly scanning over the monitors before looking back to Addison. “How are you feeling?”
Addison kept her eyes closed, wiggling her fingers. “Fine. I guess. Is the rest of the crew okay?”
The doctor nodded. “Your friend, Mark—he called for help, he jumped right after you. He came, the rest stayed. They’re all fine though, you just seemed to have a little bad luck.”
Addison laughed, looking up at the doctor. “Hell of a stroke, huh?”
Dr. Grey just nodded, noting down Addison’s vitals and walking towards the door. “A nurse will be back to check on you soon.”
After the doctor had left, Addison took her moment of wake alone time to study all the wires connected to her. There was an IV in her right arm, a few other monitors she didn’t recognize. She glanced over at the monitor beside the bed. The only thing she could name was the subtle beeping of her heart rate monitor. Her leg was wrapped in thick bandage, and there was wrapping on her left arm as well, presumably for the burns. She couldn't move her left arm or right leg. Overall she felt pretty stiff and heavy.
A few minutes of silence passed before there was a knock at the doorway. Mark.
Addison attempted to sit up and failed, so she settled for lying back while he came to sit beside the hospital bed.
“How are you?” He asked immediately. He still had his fire pants on, it didn’t seem like he had left the hospital at all since they’d arrived. Which reminded her that she had no idea how long ago that was.
“Im fine. Tired. Kind of hurting everywhere. How long have we been here?”
Mark shrugged, taking a bite of the granola bar he had pulled out of his pocket. “Twenty-four hours at least.”
Addison nodded, looking back at the ceiling. “Nice.” She grumbled. “So what happened?”
Mark paused for a moment, staring blankly at the wall, before responding. “Yeah, uhm… things were fine. You know, they found a spot, you were ready to go. You always are. It looked like your chute wouldn’t open, or you just opened it way too late, but that doesn’t seem like something you’d do. The wind was really bad, you went flying. Hit a tree, got your leg stabbed through, and then fell sixty feet into the flames. It took us a while to find you, you’re lucky you’re alive, honestly.” He sighed, sitting back. “You feel alright though?”
She nodded again. “I’m fine, seriously. Barely felt it.” She looked over at him, smiling. “Don’t remember any of it, though. I must have hit my head pretty hard.”
Mark nodded, not being able to help his laugh. “Yeah, you have a concussion. They told me that much. Actually, speaking of, guess who the head of neuro is.”
Addison’s eyes widened. She shook her head. “No- no way, you can’t be serious-”
“Addie?”
She groaned, looking towards the doorway and meeting the eyes of none other than Derek Shepherd. She hadn’t seen him in months, not since he’d run off to Seattle to do God knows what. Addison had left her hotshotting position to move to Oregon. She needed a change of scenery anyway. Besides, it had been a perfect time to switch. When their fight had happened she’d been on a break, only home for a few months before she was set to go back to Illinois. It was easy to make the switch, and she easily had her pick of any smokejumping base in the country. She had earned herself quite the reputation in the last few years—namely due to her willingness to go to any end to do her job, which usually got her heavily injured. Somehow she kept going, though.
“You can’t be serious! I can’t believe this.” She threw her one good hand up. “Go away. I don’t want you here. Why are you here!”
“I’m your doctor,” Derek said without looking at her, stepping into the room as he looked over her chart. “One of your doctors. You met Meredith?”
“Who, the blonde? Yes.” She rolled her eyes, looking over at Mark, who was trying to seem completely engrossed in his phone. She couldn’t blame him. Things between him and Derek hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing either, especially not after she and him both left together.
“She’s a very good doctor. You're in good hands.” He took a pen out of his pocket, clicking on the small light on the end and shining it into her eyes. She squinted, and he gave her a glaring look until she opened them again. “Your concussion symptoms seem to have subsided. I’d like you to take it easy for a while still, though.” He glanced down at her leg. “Not that you have much of a choice, anyway.”
“Thanks,” she bit. “Anything else?”
He shook his head, leaving without another word. As soon as he was out of earshot, Addison let out a loud, exaggerated groan.
“God, I can’t stand him! Can you?”
“Addie-”
“Seriously. I can’t believe him. Taking my case when I know damn well there are other-”
“Addison-”
“What!”
Mark sighed. “Can you blame him? I mean…”
She glared at him. “Oh, so now this is my fault?” She laid back, letting out a scoff. “Unbelievable. Yes, obviously I can blame him. He’s a prick.”
Mark nodded, standing up. “I’m gonna go. I need to check back in with everyone else, lots of people to talk to. This was a pretty bad fall, Addison.”
Addison brushed him off, looking to the wall. “I’ve had worse, Mark. Seriously.”
He didn’t say anything, silently leaving the room. Once again, she was alone with the beeping of the monitors. She hated being alone. She hated it more than anything. It was the reason she had joined her first hotshot crew. When you’re standing face to face with a wildfire, it’s pretty hard to focus on how alone you feel.
The hours phased in and out. She flicked through every channel the shitty hospital TV had to offer. She counted every speck on the ceiling. She timed each stretch between nurses coming to check on her. She was miserable. She hated this. She hated being still.
“Your vitals have been great.” Finally, a familiar voice. The blonde doctor from before. Meredith, Addison recalled.
“You know my husband.” Addison glared at her. The doctor looked up from her chart, eyebrow raised.
“Okay?”
“Derek Shepherd,” Addison continued. “He’s my husband. You know him?”
Meredith’s eyes widened. Her grip on her chart tightened. “I-... yeah. Yeah, I do. Sorry, would you excuse me for a second?” In an instant, she was gone again.
Great. She’d managed to scare off the only source of entertainment she had.
She went back to counting the specks on the ceiling. Maybe her counting was off last time.
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