MOMUS

Satirical Journalist New York Times

[unenchantedaergia-deactivated20]

“Good!, here i’ll give you the names” Whipping out the pad and pen she had from her side that she had just in case she decided to actually do some work she wrote the titles down of the books so he’d be able to find them then passed the piece of paper over “Well some of the titles may be a little different from what i remember but i think that’s pretty close and just for you i can go see too that coffee?” she just wanted to help where she could, when it came too her family that she was close too that was when she showed just slightly less laziness than usual.

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Oh man, thank you so much,” Momus replied, taking the slip of paper from her with a wide, relieved sort of smile on his face.  “Seriously, this is going to be a huge help.”  Even if the books she recommended didn’t give him quite what he was looking for, having something to look at and some place to start was huge for him.  All of this serious writing business was kinda hard for him to wrap his head around...he couldn’t just joke about it for real, and having some place to start, some research to do felt like a load off his back.  “Yeah, that would great.  Thanks again so much.  Seriously, thank you.”

[unenchantedaergia-deactivated20]

“I’m sure you can come up with something unc, and i’ve read a few book on conspiracies before, because why not, that might have some nice ones for you too pick from and i’ll make sure the coffee keeps flowing if you plan too be working here” Her smile was big now, she liked too see him write. Being someone who was much more a reader than a writer it was fascinating too her too see it in progess.

[satiricalgod-blog]

He nodded his head...some days the god could be overly cocky, and in those times even, he genuinely believed in his abilities as a writer--he was a good writer.  But all of this was just different.  This was important; so many things were at stake because of this stupid fucking conspiracy that was out there ( who’d even started it anyway? ).  Momus was the god of satire and mockery, not hard hitting investigative stories or anything like this.  For once, in the realm of writing, he was unsure of himself.  “Oh, yeah, that’d be really helpful actually.  The books and the coffee,” he added with a smile to his favorite niece.  “I think I’ll go check out those books and hopefully be back just in time for a fresh pot of coffee.”

[gisellelawson-blog]

She nodded solemnly, hoping he was now catching on to the gravity of the situation. “A morgue that contains highly sensitive information, but even so – There is no public connection with OUI, and still someone found me. None of us are safe.”

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Shit...”  One hand came up to rub at his forehead as he took in this new information.  If she had already been found out...or at least people had their suspicions about her, he couldn’t imagine it’d be too long for people to suspect him either.  He worked directly with Hera...okay. Sort of.  He liked to think he worked more directly with her than he actually did, but still.  They worked together.  The only silver lining was that at least someone else seemed to think it was as big a deal as he did; most seemed to think it was all a joke.  “This isn’t good,” he said, stating the obvious, more speaking his thoughts out loud than conversing with Melinoe.

[goldenthronedxhera]

While listening to the god Hera thought perhaps Momus could be useful in this situation. After all, his satire pieces were great and also, there weren’t many other people in the building she could turn to. “Oh no, I won’t ignore it. Ignoring it would only up the suspicion. When people are paranoid, they think the craziest things. I plan to address it, perhaps you could write a satiric piece? If we can publish a post mocking this documentary and its accusations, people would read it and think they were crazy for believing that documentary and it could clean things up.”

[satiricalgod-blog]

The god heaved a sigh of relief when she voiced the very same thoughts he’d been having about whether or not to cover the story in the papers.  His whole concern and reason for meeting with her today was to express those very same concerns, that people would be even more suspicious if they ignored the thing altogether.  It would feed right into the hysteria, people wondering why the biggest paper in the country was mum on the issue of gods living among them.  “Yes!  That’s exactly what I was thinking...all of it I mean.  It would be way too suspicious if we just ignored it.  And as far as a satire about it...well, that is my specialty after all.  I didn’t want to press forward with anything without talking to you first though--making sure we were on the same page.”

[epimetheus-eats-blog]

“Yeah, you’re right.” He answered as a second thought. “We think we’re way more superior than them. And that would never work out. Look what happened to the Titans,” he added bitterly almost. Maybe Epimetheus didn’t like the the Olympians very much but he definitely hated Zeus and everyone who contributed to Pandora’s box.

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Exactly! They’d think it was a cheat, that none of us deserve all these positions of power we have and they’d all want all of us knocked off our pedestals,” he said, placing particular emphasis on it being all of the gods they’d want to take down.  Momus certainly wouldn’t mind seeing some of the gods, like Zeus, fall, but he didn’t want to be dragged down with them.  “If this shit gets out of hand, it’ll be like a witch hunt and everyone will be screwed.”

[persephone-reigns-blog]

“Not exactly?” Coincidentally enough, Persephone herself knew exactly what that meant. But if he wasn’t going to offer anything else, she wouldn’t push. “I’m sure you know this already, but do be careful.” There was a pause before she added, “I know many of us would love to see the fall of Olympians, but not like this.”

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Just some anons to my blog.  I’m not really sure if it’s related or not--I mean, I’m pretty sure it is, but none of it was very direct,” he offered in further explanation of what he’d meant before.  They seemed to be about the conspiracy in some way, but not about him being a god, so there was that at least.  

Nodding, Momus was about to assure her he knew what he was doing ( even if he didn’t ) and that he would obviously be careful when her next words gave him pause.  Many of us?  Was she including herself in that?  And his question, though he didn’t actually voice it was visible in his features, but he didn’t dare ask it aloud.  

[what-lies-within-us]

Rubbing her temples gently with the tips of her fingers, Harmonia, pursed her lips staring at the blinking cursor in front of her. It was mocking her once again. She had to write an application, requesting a few things for a delegation that would be arriving in a few months. The deadline was a month from that day but Harmonia knew that she had to send it in early since these things took more time and planning then any other event. She had it all formed in her mind, yet she could not bring her to write further then the initial greetings and such. As always she was occupying the bean bag she had dubbed her own at the Ambrosia Coffee, with a steaming mug of hot chocolate next to her, and a frown on her face, the laptop resting on her lap. Frustrated she threw up her hand in surrender, slamming the lid of the laptop. “I can’t concentrate!” She said, her face falling as she turned to the person sitting next to her.

[satiricalgod-blog]

So intent on his own work from the small table near the window of the coffee shop ( he had a lot to be thinking about lately ) he hadn’t even noticed who had eventually come to occupy the bean bag chair near him.  He’d been in the shop for hours, Aergia making sure he was constantly stocked with fresh coffee so well that he barely even looked up from his laptop.  An outburst, however, did the trick of distracting him enough to look up for once and realize it was Harmonia sitting there, and despite himself he suddenly felt the room get several degrees warmer.  When she turned to face him, he started slightly having not expected her to look to him for a response then offered her a sympathetic look.  “Maybe you should take a break for a bit...?”

[three-forms-two-torches-blog]

Hecate had been soaking up the utter chaos that had taken hold of so many of her colleagues. It amused her so to watch them so frantically trying to cover their own asses - as though some conspiracy theorist were actually a real threat. Much as it amused her though, she had enough common sense to keep that mostly to herself. She’d always been fairly pleasant to work with, after all, so long as she was shown adequate respect. So today was hardly all that different. Still, she found a familiar face staring at her over top the screen of her computer.

“Hello, dear,” Hecate greeted them, an easy smile curving her lips.

[satiricalgod-blog]

After the first few anonymous messages to his blog, Momus had done about as much detective slash tech work as he could and managed to set up a tracker on his blog to see who visited it.  That had taken him longer than he’d care to admit to figure out, but he got it eventually.  Problem was, all it did was tell him a bunch of random numbers and general areas of people who went on his blog and he wanted a bit more than that.  He wanted to know more than that before he really started doing any dealings with these people; it was only so long before they tried to get in contact with him again about why he hadn’t written anything about the information they’d given him.  

“Uh..hi...I feel like you’ve probably gotten this a lot lately, but I was hoping you could help me.”  Being the tech expert in their clan of sorts, and presuming he wasn’t the only one to be getting strange messages, he imagined others had gone to her looking for answers.

[fleetingopportunist-blog]

“Shit. Pretend you didn’t see that.” He jabbed his fork harder at the dish and actually managed to get the bite he was aiming for. “I only have 30 minutes for lunch so be quick. The documentary has definitely had effects on the stock market, so yes. You should probably figure out what you’re going to do about that.”

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Don’t worry, I’ve got more important things to worry about than you dropping food,” Momus replied somewhat dryly, yet almost teasingly, and then he shook his head.  “I don’t even really know how stocks work to be honest.”

[unenchantedaergia-deactivated20]

This whole conspiracy had gotten too her much more than she liked too admit, before when it hadn’t cost her business she was her usual carefree self thinking this would all blow over soon but no. Well she was no goddess of fortune telling that was for sure. 

She had people out front cleaning up the graffiti which had been sprayed over the windows of the shop ‘god scum’ it said. The sight of it only drove people away more she could tell what they were thinking as they walked by, they didn’t want to get involved in this mess or ugh another place the gods had infested. It made her angry and she hardly ever got angry, the feeling was so misplaced within herself it just got her more worked up and she didn’t know what to do with herself, how the hell was she going to try and fix this mess, bring back the customers.

Well for now her mind just wanted to be as far away from it all she could get, didn’t look like there was much work time planned for. Usually she would never spark up a joint at work times but this was an exception. Anyway she wasn’t in the building so it was all good anyway instead she just stood round the back of the shop planning on smoking the troubles away.

[satiricalgod-blog]

Always one to like keeping tabs on things that were going on amongst the gods, Momus was definitely aware of the business his niece was dealing with.  It was a shame really for her of all people to have to deal with that kind of thing given her laid back, carefree nature.  Dealing with things blowing up like this wasn’t exactly the sort of thing she was used to, which was precisely what made him go to her coffee shop and check up on her.

Though aware her place of business was having its name dragged through the mud on that conspiracy blog, he hadn’t realized just how bad it had gotten until she showed up there to see the graffiti sprawled across the store front.  Uncomfortably, he rubbed at the back of his neck as he looked at it, wondering if it was even a good idea for him to be there.  He didn’t want to fuel the rumors even more, but luckily he hadn’t been dragged into anything yet.  As far as the mortals were aware, he was just as normal as they were.

Not seeing her out front or within the shop itself, he had his suspicions about where she might be and traveled around back.  With a sigh at having his suspicions confirmed, he approached her.  “You shouldn’t smoke, y’know?”  Though he didn’t really sound as though he was chastising her.  She would do what she would and he wasn’t really going to tell her not to.

[unenchantedaergia-deactivated20]

“Hmm well you don’t have to talk about the conspiracy head on, mention what it’s about but focus more on how silly it is, bring in some other conspiracies people have believed in the past like aliens and that shit so people can see it’s stupid and you could easily fit some comedy into there” She raised her eyebrows wondering what he thought of the idea, she wasn’t the writer here of course. 

[satiricalgod-blog]

“True, of course, I’d have to pick my examples carefully since some of the more well known conspiracies might also be true.  But I get your point.  And I mean, I know that’s what I’ll have to do...it’s just.  It has to be done right.”  Timing and tone and all of it was crucial to selling this massive lie.  But it had to be done before things got out of hand, before things got too far and the mortals started to piece things together too much on their own.  Once it spread more and people compiled proof and evidence, it would be hard to convince them it’s all false. 

[epimetheus-eats-blog]

“Uh– How come you know me but we’ve never met….” He made him a little uneasy. But what kind of mortal was know who he was and even claim to be one himself? Weren’t they trying to expose the gods? Or was this some kind of scheme that went way over his head? But then a thought came to the god of never-thinks. “What if it’s a good thing? Maybe we can figure something out. Live in peace or whatever?”

[satiricalgod-blog]

“I’m a writer, I like to know things...” It was a lame, totally bullshit answer, really, but it was the best he had next to the truth.  “I know who must of us are...not all of us are super subtle so...”  At his fellow god’s words, he gave a soft hum in contemplation...he supposed it was possible.  He didn’t exactly think it was likely to work out that way, but it sure would be nice.  “Eh...maybe.  I doubt it though.”

[persephone-reigns-blog]

Persephone nodded, feeling slight relief that there was something maybe they could do to protect their own. “I hope my good words to Hera has done well to your advantage,” she began, though the conversation she had with the queen of gods had occurred quite a while ago. “I’m sure you two will think of something, you are both extraordinarily capable. You haven’t received anything of your own, have you?” the goddess inquired.

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Well I have an appointment with her, so that’s definitely progress.  So thank you.”  Taking a sip of his water, he surveyed her over the rim of his glass as she asked her question.  It was...complicated.  He had received messages from anonymous sources, but it wasn’t entirely tied to the conspiracy.  It might be related, and he certainly suspected that was all part of it, but even then it hadn’t been about thinking he was a god...just others.  “Not exactly, no.”

[goldenthronedxhera]

She turned upon awknowedging him, walking back to her desk and sitting down in her chair. She organized a few papers she had next to her computer, before placing her hands on the table and looking up to see him again. “Sit down, if you’d like.” After his comment, she immediately figured this would be about something else. “Yes. It is. So I’m assuming you haven’t come to speak to me about your next piece?”

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Uhm....no, not exactly.”  What he did want to speak to her about was certainly related to the work that he did and potentially work he would do soon if she wanted him to be the one to do so.  Writing satire was his specialty, and he rarely wrote serious pieces, but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t.  Though, he could easily write up a mocking piece about the latest news as well.  It didn’t have to be serious.  “I wanted to talk about how you plan to go about covering the whole conspiracy thing....I think it would be irresponsible to just ignore it.”

[shiningchariot-blog]

He quirked his brows and paused before he spoke.  “I have literally never heard of them before, so I’m not sure your point stands,” the titan replied. “In a world of much, much more than that, they’re hardly relevant.” Helios took another sip, swallowed and reached for some of the peanuts offered at the bar. “We’ll be fine. And if things get so bad we die? Well there’s always the next life.”

[satiricalgod-blog]

All Momus could do in response to that was stare, brows furrowed looking almost concerned that someone had never even heard of Seventh Day Adventists...but he supposed it made some sense for literal gods to not care much about the ones mortals worshiped.  It still concerned him a little bit but he shook it off with a shrug of his shoulders.  “Die?!  I sure as hell hope that’s not what it comes to...”  He hadn’t even thought about things going that far.  He wasn’t exactly sure what his worst-case-scenario was before but now he did.

[persephone-reigns-blog]

Persephone nodded. There was no place for her to critique or speak on the ways and methods of the media, most certainly not the Times. She trusted in both Hera and Momus to do what they could without putting their own kind in danger. “Have you spoken to Ms. Harris about all this? Thought of a plan?” The goddess paused for a moment before continuing. “I would do my part if I had any influence over the matter.. but it seems the company is taking a hit of its own.” Not to mention her own personal stalker sending her messages about Joseph.

[satiricalgod-blog]

“Not yet, but I have an appointment with her later.  Can’t really just go barging into her office like we’re old friends...”  Not that they even were old friends.  In this life, they merely worked together.  Momus was still several rungs lower on the ladder than Hera even if they worked together at one of the highest rated papers in the country, one read world wide.  But as this affected him as well as any of the rest of them, he did feel it necessary to meet with her to discuss the matter and how best they should handle it, even give his two cents if she was willing to hear it.  “All I know at this point is that it would be irresponsible to ignore it completely.  If there’s any suspicions regarding the boss and there’s not a word of it in any article....it doesn’t look good.”

[epimetheus-eats-blog]

“Momus..” the god mumbled, his mind shifting through the ranks of gods to pick out the name that was just given to him. A primordial? “Nice to meet you, I’m uh- Epimetheus.” He mumbled back before realizing the god already knew who he was. “Yeah.. how long before you think it does down?” he asked Momus nervously.

[satiricalgod-blog]

Another soft chuckle was given and a look that all too clearly said ‘yeah, I know who you are’.  Momus at this point knew who just about all the gods were.  A few minor ones he was still looking for, trying to find out if they were even around in this lifetime, but this one he knew.  “No idea.  Hopefully soon though.  As I said, this isn’t something I ever wanted to happen.  I think everyone’s better off not knowing.”