AIO - I don't want to go to an event my bf invites me to
My bf (32) has a colleague (f35) he also considers her to be his friend. When he mentioned me to her, she invited us for a dinner to meet me. So we made plans and a few months ago, we visited her and her boyfriend. We arrived around 4 pm and stayed until 10 - 11 pm.
It was a pleasant evening even though there were some red flags. Despite inviting us to dinner, the portions were extremely small. I ate one single chicken wing, half of which was bones and the other half was burned, one single slice of potato (4 plates combined had less than a single potato), and some salad. I left the table very hungry but I couldn't help it.
I brought sweets. They served us later that night but she and her boyfriend didn't eat a single piece. After we left, she sent a picture to my boyfriend of the sweets they bought after we left. They said it was because they were having someone over but it still felt a tad awkward.
Anyway, two weeks later we invited them to dinner at my place. My bf was particularly excited. He bought new set of plates for that night. He planned a game night with his board games which apparently they like too. And we agreed to a day a week prior. Knowing they'd be coming on Saturday, they said they'd be here at 3pm. Which was okay. On that day, they said they'd be here at 5 or 6 as they were running late. Like, okay.. They came at 7 pm and left at 9 pm. Honestly it was too quick like they just came to have dinner and leave. Their excuse was they were too busy cleaning the house. But they had also Sunday that they said they had no plans for, and also this day was planned a week in advance so you could actually organize it if you wanted to.
I wasn't too pleasant with this overall experience but okay, i guess. Whatever suits them.
I also don't understand why my boyfriend considers this girl to be a close friend. 2 weeks ago they celebrated someone's birthday at work and no one bothered to tell my bf who was working in a separate room in the office. Later she said "it happened too quickly, i didn't have time to call you" like girl texting takes seconds.
Anyway, this weekend, they were planning to go on a trip and asked us to watch their dog for two days. I was fine with it and we made our plans accordingly. But they cancelled in the last minute because she had last minute stuff to get done. Which is also fine. Then they invited us to have as guests since we planned our weekend to spend time there. I wasn't particularly too interested because I don't feel like they deserve my company after how they treated our plans in the past. They also said they would be celebrating her boyfriend's birthday. Nice, i guess, but nothing i genuinely care.
I didn't want to make our plans with my bf based on what i want. So i offered him a solution. I said I don't feel comfortable visiting someone and stay another 5 - 7 hours after how they treated our plans, so if he wants to go and attend the b-day, he is most welcome but he should go early. and i can go there 1 or 2 hours before he leaves, so i won't stay longer than that.
My bf kinda got offended. He said it was rude of me to "revenge" them of past like that. I said i don't mean to revenge, but i don't feel comfortable being too willing to spend my time at someone's place when they deliberately stayed at my place as short as possible. I also don't want to take him away from his social life.
My explanation didn't quite satisfy my bf and we sort of ended our call on a cold note. he later called and apologized but i still feel sort of displeased. am i overreacting?
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (71% confidence)
Top comment: “Not overreacting. These people sound rude and inconsiderate. Your solution was more than fair. Your bf should be defending you, not calling it revenge.”
Notable comment: “NOR. That dinner sounds really weird.
A standard 5-6 lb chicken should be under $15, often less if you hit a good sale, and you can quarter it and feed four people pretty easily. The only scenario where that doesn't really work is if you have 3+ people that only eat white meat or only eat dark. But a single chicken wing? Maybe for a 5-course dinner you could have the single wing course but for a regular meal that's insane.
And yeah potatoes are the one of the least expensive veggies, and baking one takes the same amount of time as baking 4. I mean if they're particularly big maybe you split them but I'd rather just give everyone their own.
Honestly if I went to their house for dinner again I'd offer to bring some kind of app/side that can beef the meal up - like a hearty Mac and cheese, a pasta salad, a sausage stuffing.
But that's if. I'd probably just invite them to mine and serve a meal I know I'd be satisfied with.”
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Originally shared by Weird-Wealth-7998 on r/AmIOverreacting on July 10th, 2026 at 7:30 PM UTC. Credit to u/Pro_Sous and u/smtp_pro for the quoted comments.
