Am I overreacting by wanting to stop talking to my mother after she kept insisting I (21 trans ftm) am pregnant?
I (21FtM) have very supportive parents overall. I socially transitioned when I was 14, started testosterone when I was 15, and have already had top surgery. My parents have always respected my name and pronouns, which is why this whole situation has caught me so off guard.
I've been dating my boyfriend (22M) for about four months. My parents both really like him, and he's honestly been amazing throughout our relationship. He's incredibly supportive and has been especially supportive throughout all of this.
About two weeks ago, my mom suddenly became convinced that I'm pregnant.
It started because I'd been feeling sick for a few days. I threw up twice before work, was unusually tired, and generally felt awful. I went to my doctor and was told I had a stomach bug, which I most likely caught at work.
Around the same time, I mentioned that my lower back had been hurting. I work as a paramedic, so I'm constantly bending down, lifting patients, carrying equipment, etc. I'd also been working out more than usual. There were pretty obvious explanations for what I was experiencing, but my mom somehow became completely convinced that I was pregnant.
I told her multiple times that I wasn't. I also told her that hearing her talk about me being pregnant was making me extremely uncomfortable and dysphoric, but she wouldn't drop it.
Almost every conversation somehow turned into pregnancy. She kept saying things like, "A mother just knows," and, "You'll thank me when you find out early." Eventually, she started asking me to take a pregnancy test "just to prove her wrong."
I refused several times. Honestly, even buying a pregnancy test made me feel sick. Being reminded that I still have the anatomy necessary to become pregnant is incredibly dysphoria-inducing for me. I understand that not every trans person feels this way, but I do. I don't want to think about it, and I certainly don't want my mother constantly talking about me being pregnant.
She kept bringing it up every single day.
She would text me multiple times a day asking whether I'd taken a test, telling me she'd "know" if I was pregnant, talking about becoming a grandmother, and telling me I shouldn't ignore the "signs." (She already has 2 grandchildren from my brother.)
At that point, I started dreading looking at my phone because I knew there was probably going to be another message about pregnancy.
It was really affecting me. I don't think I've cried this much since my exam period. I'm a pretty emotional person anyway and cry easily, so crying isn't unusual for me, but this was getting ridiculous.
After several days of this, I finally gave in because I just wanted her to stop asking. I bought a pregnancy test. The test was negative. Exactly like I'd expected and exactly like I'd been telling my mom.
I thought that would finally end it, but it didn't. She immediately started saying that it was probably "too early" and that I should take another test in a week because "tests can be wrong." She also told me I should make another appointment with my doctor just to be sure.
I told her that the test was negative and that I wasn't discussing this anymore. She's still bringing it up to this day (it has been 2 weeks).
At this point, I'm honestly angry. She knows exactly how uncomfortable this makes me. I've told her repeatedly to stop, I've taken the test she pressured me into taking, and it was negative. Yet she still acts like she knows my body better than I do.
My boyfriend thinks that if she brings it up again after that, I should stop responding to her for a while, and possibly block her if she refuses to respect the boundary.
Part of me agrees, but another part of me feels like I'm being dramatic because my mom genuinely seems to believe she's helping. She's also been supportive of me throughout my entire transition, so this isn't something I expected from her at all.
I don't want to destroy my relationship with my mother over this, but I also don't know how many times I can explain to her that this is hurting me before I'm allowed to just be angry about it.
So, am I overreacting by considering going low-contact or even temporarily blocking her if she keeps bringing this up? Or is this a reasonable boundary to set after everything that's happened?
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (95% confidence)
Top comment: āThis should absolutely be posted in a FTM sub over a regular advice sub imo, as most people here will not understand how much mental struggle a situation like this causes.
Anyways, NOR. You should definitely take a step back to protect your wellbeing. Though tbh, with how much your mom is convinced despite the evidence against it; I feel like something might be going on in her brain. Like, mental illness?ā
Notable comment: āNOR - This kind of behavior is infuriating to me. My mother would get a notion or an idea in her head that was "the immutable truth" for her and nothing I could say or show her would deter her. And then when I would get upset, she would double down with that exact line. "A mother knows". I hate that phrase to this day. Now adding the dysphoria on top of that, makes this maddening.
I would be setting a hard boundary right here. I literally had to do that with my own mother to save our relationship. I said in no uncertain terms that if she wanted a relationship with me a specific behavior needed to stop or I would be going ultra low contact. As in, I will be polite when I see my father. She stopped that behavior almost immediately
Ngl, I didn't transition until my mom died because I knew I would end up going low or now contact with her. Your mom sounds like she's a more progressive minded woman than mine was. Set the boundary. Hard boundary. Say in no uncertain terms, this pregnancy bullshit stops or you are going low contact for your mental health. Your health and safety always come first, then your loved ones come next. Never forget that.ā
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Remaining time: 6 days 20 hours
Originally shared by Foreign-Language-693 on r/AmIOverreacting on August 8th, 2026 at 9:01 AM UTC. Credit to u/Yvmeno and u/lunathehungryhusky for the quoted comments.
