eli

she/her (pansexual), multi-fandom but i have only written jjk (maybe y'all can request works of other fandoms asw), i love yaoi and hate trump and capitalism. tbh i hate everything. i am 6'2 with a muscular build (that's sarcasm btw) and i am asian 💋 yes my dms are open, but only for the girlie pops 🎀 (live, laugh, love tomoe)

[satoruswifeyyyy]

୨୧ eli ୨୧ infp ୨୧ bookworm ୨୧ feminist ୨୧ mdni ୨୧

REQUESTS ARE OPEN <3 (nsfw, lgbtq content allowed)

꒰ა jujutsu kaisen masterlist ໒꒱

꒰ა one piece masterlist ໒꒱

what other fandoms i would love to write for: all anime fandoms, the book community (especially ya fantasy), mcu, harry potter, kpop/kdrama, stranger things, umbrella academy, american sit-coms and rom-coms.

what i don't write: age gaps, misogynistic content, homophobic content (i can't think of anything more rn).

[satoruswifeyyyy]

hi we are so back, i will start writing again 😝

[satoruswifeyyyy]

Hi. How are you? Will there be a part 2 of flowers?

hiii, i am good and there already is a part 2!! here’s the link, you can check it out :D

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧

masterlist

part 1 part 2

synopsis: they ask for a break in the relationship

includes: gojo satoru, geto suguru, ryomen sukuna, fushiguro toji, nanami kento, kamo choso, fushiguro megumi and inumaki toge (all the characters are 18+)

a/n: i need sleep

taglist: @loveyislost @sanestpersonalive @aquamarine001 @shokosbunny @moncher-ire @90s-belladonna @ollyissleepy

[satoruswifeyyyy]

can i req an angsty smau? if you dont wanna write this, its totally okay bby <3

idea - jjk men asking for a break in relationship, because maybe or not (they have found someone else). so they just want a break with us. and obviously they want to get want to get back with us but during break we think its better for us to break up cause, what if they actually found someone like this in future.

𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧

masterlist

part 1 part 2

includes: gojo satoru, geto suguru, ryomen sukuna fushiguro toji, nanami kento, kamo choso, fushiguro megumi, inumaki toge

summary: they ask for a break in the relationship (all the characters are 18+)

a/n: this will have a part 2!! and it's a sad ending lmao.

[satoruswifeyyyy]

Can I request a jjk text where y/n catches jjk men out with a woman (she doesn’t know they’re a coworker) and y/n shoots at them? It’d preferably be for Toji, Shiu, Ryomen and Hiromi. I feel like those are the only men that would freak out but secretly be turned on by it 😂🤣❤️

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣

masterlist

summary: you catch them with another woman

includes: toji, sukuna, shiu and hiromi

a/n: real quick work phew

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 (𝙢𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙢𝙞 𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙤 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

masterlist

megumi is above 18, satoru has a daughter, family man!megumi, cheating allegations, non curse!au, established relationship.

it was a beautiful sunday afternoon, and the park buzzed with the cheerful noise of children playing on the swings, the occasional bark of overexcited dogs, and the distant hum of ice cream trucks. megumi walked beside you, his expression as stoic as ever, one hand casually shoved in his pocket, the other firmly gripping the handle of hana’s stroller. the little girl, barely a year old and bursting with energy, sat strapped in, her chubby hands reaching out for every leaf that passed her line of vision.

you sighed, watching her attempt to shove a particularly soggy leaf into her mouth. “hana, no. we don’t eat leaves.” you bent down to pry it from her tiny fingers, earning a stubborn pout from the toddler.

“she’s just like her dad,” megumi muttered, his eyes fixed ahead, his tone flat but laced with a hint of exasperation. “no sense of what’s edible and what’s not.”

a snort escaped you before you could stop it. “you’re not wrong. i once saw gojo eat sushi off the floor because he claimed it ‘built character.’”

megumi grimaced, his lips twitching upward ever so slightly. “he’s the reason hand sanitizer sales are still booming.”

the two of you exchanged a rare laugh, your banter bouncing effortlessly back and forth. hana, oblivious to the jokes at her father’s expense, giggled as though she were part of the conversation. it was one of those moments where everything felt perfect—until she appeared.

the old woman came shuffling down the path, her sharp eyes narrowing the second they landed on the three of you. she had the aura of someone who kept a mental list of everyone she disapproved of, and today, you and megumi were apparently at the top.

she stopped abruptly, her knobby cane planted firmly in the ground. “you two should be ashamed of yourselves,” she declared, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. “so young, already with a child? what were you thinking?”

you blinked, caught entirely off guard. “excuse me?”

the woman’s glare intensified, and she jabbed her cane in your direction like an accusatory sword. “girls these days have no shame. couldn’t even keep your legs closed, could you? and you”—her eyes flicked to megumi—“should’ve had more sense than to let her ruin her life.”

you opened your mouth to retaliate, but she steamrolled ahead. “and the child doesn’t even look like you!” she squinted at hana, her gaze scrutinizing. “did she cheat on you? i wouldn’t be surprised. girls like her can’t be trusted.”

the smug satisfaction on her face made your usual sarcastic confidence falter, replaced by an unfamiliar knot of insecurity. hana, picking up on your sudden tension, began to wail, her tiny fists flailing.

you tried to soothe her, your voice shaking slightly. “don’t cry, sweetheart. it’s okay.”

that’s when megumi stepped in. he handed the stroller over to you and turned toward the old woman, his dark eyes narrowing into a glare so sharp it have frozen the sun mid-sky.

“first of all,” he began, his voice calm but seething with disdain, “she’s not our kid. she’s my sensei’s daughter. but even if she was, how exactly is that any of your business? are you the ceo of unsolicited opinions, or do you just hand them out for free on sundays? like do you hand out judgment for a living, or is this just a hobby?”

the woman blinked, clearly not expecting such a reply. “well, i—”

“second,” megumi interrupted, his tone dripping with sarcasm, “thanks for your concern, but i didn’t know we asked for a dna test expert. what’s next? you gonna tell us her astrological sign doesn’t match ours?”

you stared at him, half in awe and half biting back laughter. this was new.

“i’m just saying—” she began, but megumi cut her off again.

"oh, you’re saying plenty, and all of it’s useless. if you’re so worried about other people’s lives, maybe start with figuring out how to mind your own. and for the record, if this was my family, i’d be damn proud of it and if she was ours, she’d grow up surrounded by love, protected from nosy strangers who can’t keep their opinions to themselves. and she’d have the wittiest, sharpest mom in the world to teach her how to shut down busybodies like you. so unless you’re ready to explain why anyone cares about your outdated opinions, i suggest you keep walking."

“also,” he added, his gaze colder than ice, “don’t you dare talk about my girl like that again. she’s smarter, kinder, and more accomplished than you could ever dream of being. she doesn’t need validation from a stranger.” hana, as if sensing megumi’s unwavering confidence, stopped crying and began giggling, her chubby hands reaching out for him. megumi softened instantly, crouching to pick her up. “see?” he said, his voice quieter now as he held her close. “even she thinks you’re full of crap.”

the old woman’s mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air, but no words came out. megumi rolled his eyes at her and then glared at her, with narrowed eyes, "don't you dare mess with my family ever again. if you do, i will personally summon mahoraga and haunt you down to the depths of hell."

the woman huffed, muttered something about “kids these days..." you flashed her a grin. “thanks for the free entertainment, ma’am. you made our day.”

megumi rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth quirked up. “you’re impossible.” you gaped "as if you are not!" you stared at megumi, your heart doing flips. he turned to you, his expression back to its usual stoic calm. “what?”

“‘mess with my family?’” you repeated, a teasing grin spreading across your face. “didn’t know you had such a dramatic streak, fushiguro.”

he shrugged, looking down at hana, who was now happily chewing on his sleeve. “she pissed me off.”

you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “you’re such a softie. i bet you’d cry during a pixar movie.”

“shut up.”

“oh, you love me,” you teased, smirking.

he sighed but didn’t deny it, his ears turning slightly pink. “let’s just go.”

with hana’s giggles filling the air and megumi’s rare smile softening his features, the three of you moved on.

A/N: okay i remember reading a similar drabble like this somewhere on tumblr but i remember it being sukuna and yuji instead of megumi and hana. i personally loved it and took inspiration from there so if you find the plot similar then yes, i have taken the writing prompt from that user (i am sorry, i don't really remember the name).

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙!𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

masterlist

requested by @haruhatake

satoru is the type of husband to buy you flowers randomly, no occasion needed. “just felt like reminding you how much i love you,” he says with a wink, handing you the prettiest bouquet while looking smug about how flustered you get.

satoru is the type of husband to still go on “first dates” with you. he’ll dress up, show up at the door with flowers, and say, “so, can i take my gorgeous wife out tonight?"

satoru is the type of husband to “accidentally” leave his clothes in your closet so you end up wearing them. when you call him out on it, he just grins and says, “you look better in my shirts anyway,” before pulling you in for a kiss.

satoru is the type of husband to constantly call you his “wife” in conversation, just to see you blush. “my wife is so beautiful, isn’t she?” he’ll say to anyone who’ll listen, absolutely overjoyed to be married to you.

satoru is the type of husband to hog all the blankets at night, only to wrap you in them five minutes later because “you looked cold.” he’ll cuddle up close and mumble, “can’t have my wife freezing on me.”

satoru is the type of husband to be ridiculously proud of you for the smallest things. “you parallel parked perfectly? amazing. my wife’s a genius!” he’ll say, clapping like you just won an award.

satoru is the type of husband to sing horribly off-key in the shower, then pull you in to dance along when you laugh at him. “come on, you know you love me,” he says, spinning you around while still dripping wet.

satoru is the type of husband to still “accidentally” lose your things, even after marriage. “oh no, your work bag? gone. guess you can’t go in today,” he’ll say, grinning as he pulls you back into bed. “looks like it’s a stay-at-home-and-cuddle day.”

satoru is the type of husband to greet you every single morning with a kiss on your forehead, a smile on his face, and a, “good morning, my gorgeous wife. how does it feel to be married to the most handsome man alive?”

satoru is the type of husband to still hype you up every chance he gets. whether you’re wearing a casual outfit or something fancy, he’ll whistle dramatically and say, “wow, i can’t believe i get to call you my wife.”

satoru is the type of husband to send you texts throughout the day, even if you’re just in the other room. random things like, “thinking about you,” “you looked extra cute today,” or “wanna come kiss your husband? he misses you.”

satoru is the type of husband to randomly pull you onto his lap while you’re working, wrapping his arms around your waist and saying, “i’m feeling neglected, babe. don’t i deserve some love after marrying you?”

satoru is the type of husband to still leave little love notes everywhere. you’ll find them in your bag, stuck to the fridge, or even on your pillow. “i love being married to you,” one will say. “best decision of my life,” reads another.

satoru is the type of husband to walk around the house shirtless just to get your attention. and when you roll your eyes, he’ll smirk and say, “what? just giving my wife a little eye candy.”

satoru is the type of husband to show off your wedding ring to everyone. he’ll casually rest his hand on the table during a meeting or flash it while paying for coffee, saying, “yep, married. my wife’s a total catch, by the way.”

satoru is the type of husband to insist on carrying you to bed when you fall asleep on the couch, no matter how tired he is. “what kind of husband would i be if i let my beautiful wife sleep uncomfortably?” he’ll tease, tucking you in gently.

satoru is the type of husband to constantly find excuses to cuddle. “it’s part of the marriage contract,” he’ll say, pulling you onto the couch and wrapping you in his arms. “unlimited cuddles for life.”

satoru is the type of husband to get way too into decorating your home. “we need more pictures of us,” he’ll say, hanging up cheesy couple photos everywhere, then grinning proudly whenever guests come over.

satoru is the type of husband to buy you flowers randomly, no occasion needed. “just felt like reminding you how much i love you,” he says with a wink, handing you the prettiest bouquet while looking smug about how flustered you get.

satoru is the type of husband to leave love notes hidden all over the house. you’ll find them in your bag, under your pillow, or even stuck to the fridge. they’ll say things like, “you make my world brighter,” with little hearts doodled around the edges.

satoru is the type of husband to show up at your workplace just to take you out for lunch. “i missed you,” he says simply, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

satoru is the type of husband to insist on giving you massages after a long day. his hands might wander a bit, though, and when you call him out, he’ll grin and say, “can you blame me? you’re irresistible.”

satoru is the type of husband to steal kisses whenever he can. passing by you in the hallway? kiss. sitting next to you on the couch? kiss. he’s shameless about it and loves watching you get flustered.

satoru is the type of husband to plan the most extravagant anniversaries. one year it’s a romantic getaway, the next it’s renting out a rooftop just to stargaze with you. “nothing’s too much for my wife,” he says, grinning.

satoru is the type of husband to keep your wedding photo as his phone wallpaper, even years later. when you tease him about it, he shrugs and says, “it’s the best day of my life. why would i change it?”

satoru is the type of husband to still flirt with you like you’re newly dating. “has anyone ever told you you’re the most beautiful woman in the world?” he’ll say with a smirk, even when you’re in sweatpants and messy hair.

when you are pregnant, satoru is the type of husband to press his ear against your belly, grinning like a fool while saying, “i think the baby just said ‘daddy’s the coolest.’ did you hear that? it’s official now.” when you roll your eyes and laugh, he’ll kiss your bump and whisper, “don’t worry, baby, mama’s the coolest too.”

satoru is the type of husband to get way too excited about baby shopping. he’ll come home with three strollers, five sets of tiny sneakers, and a ridiculous amount of baby clothes, grinning as he says, “i couldn’t decide, so i got it all. our kid deserves the best, right?”

satoru is the type of husband to kiss your belly goodnight every single night, no exceptions. he’ll cuddle up to you, his hand splayed protectively over your bump, and mumble, “you’re both my favorite people in the whole world,” before falling asleep with a soft smile.

satoru is the type of husband to pout dramatically when you tell him he can’t have sex during certain stages of the pregnancy. “but babe,” he whines, “i’ve read about the pregnancy glow. how am i supposed to resist you when you look like an actual goddess?” and he’ll sulk until you laugh and give him a kiss.

satoru is the type of husband to leave little sticky notes all over the house reminding you how amazing you are. “baby’s mama is the hottest woman alive,” “drink water, you gorgeous queen,” and “you + me + baby = dream team” are just a few of his gems.

satoru is the type of husband to go overboard with pampering during your pregnancy. foot massages, midnight snack runs, and holding your hair back when morning sickness hits—he’ll do it all with a smile. “anything for my girl and our baby,” he’ll say, pressing a kiss to your temple.

satoru is the type of husband to constantly tell everyone, everyone, that you’re pregnant. “this is my pregnant wife, isn't she absolutely stunning? our baby gets to have the best genes, right? i can't wait.” he’s practically glowing with pride.

satoru is the type of husband to plan an elaborate gender reveal just because he loves celebrating you. “blue or pink, doesn’t matter,” he’ll say with a smirk, “but if the baby looks like me, they’ll be extra cute.”

satoru is the type of husband to suggest ridiculous baby names just to see your reaction. “how about gojo jr.? or infinity? oh, i’ve got it—six eyes!” and when you throw a pillow at him, he laughs so hard he almost falls off the couch.

satoru is the type of husband to still worship your body, even with all the changes. he’ll trace his fingers over your stretch marks and kiss every inch of your skin, whispering, “you’re perfect, you know that? every part of you.”

satoru is the type of husband to get extra handsy when you’re pregnant. he’ll cuddle up behind you, hands resting on your bump, and say things like, “our baby’s in there because i couldn’t keep my hands off you. can you blame me?”

satoru is the type of husband to insist on taking maternity photos with you. he’ll pose with his hands on your belly, grinning like a kid, and say, “i want the whole world to see how beautiful you are.”

satoru is the type of husband to have slow and gentle sex with you when your pregnancy hormones act up. the sex is solely for your pleasure only and he doesn't even bother to cum, he is just happy that his wife gets to have the best orgasm possible, "i am so good at this." satoru will say, stroking your exposed and sweaty tummy.

satoru is the type of husband to randomly burst into tears when he feels the baby kick for the first time. “did you see that? our kid’s already so strong!” and he’ll immediately try to capture the moment, his excitement contagious.

satoru is the type of husband to make you laugh even during the tough times. when you’re feeling down, he’ll kiss your tears away and say, “you’re the strongest person i know. we’ve got this. and if anyone can handle me and a baby, it’s you.”

satoru is the type of husband to overreact more than you, during your labour. he will scream more than you, panicking during the delivery. "oh my god, the baby's coming already!? ahh, fuck, i am not ready!"

satoru is the type of husband to start planning for the next baby as soon as the first baby is born. he will approach you, who is lying on the hospital bed after the tiring labour, with your babygirl in his arms and sit by your side, cuddling you and your baby. when the silence grows too comforting, he will say, "when are we having our next kid?", earning a slap from you.

A/N: hi everyone, i know i have been inactive but hear me out- tests are ongoing and i am very busy? like i have economic applications tomorrow but i somehow managed to complete this. okay so i will not be posting smaus till the 20th. i think i will post another fluffy drabble this week, if i get the time but please bear with me, i will be active again after the 20th of december.

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙!𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

masterlist

satoru is the type of boyfriend to “accidentally” misplace your things at his place so you have to stay longer. oh, your phone charger? lost. your keys? vanished. and he’ll play innocent, looking around like, “wow, weird. guess you’re staying the night!”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to wrap you in a blanket, squish you onto the couch, and play your favorite show when you tell him you’re tired, instead of comforting you. but the catch? he’s sitting right next to you with his big eyes glued on you and will pause every 10 seconds to ask, “are you feeling better yet? how about now?”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to remember every little thing you say, so if you mention craving something like a specific pastry or even a seasonal candle, he’ll go to five different stores to find it. and he’ll show up at your door, grinning like a kid, saying, “for my favorite person in the world.”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to take every opportunity to show you off. even if it’s just a casual dinner with friends, he’ll find a way to work in how amazing you are, beaming as he watches you blush. he’ll say things like, “you know she’s basically a genius, right? i'm just here for the good looks.”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to randomly pull you close in the middle of a crowded street, spinning you around just because. when you ask why, he’ll just shrug and say, “you looked too cute, i couldn’t resist.” he loves making you laugh and seeing you all flustered.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to to whisper sweet things in your ear, even in the middle of a crowd. he’ll lean in and say something like, “do you know how incredible you look today?” just to see you smile, and then he’ll pretend it was nothing when you look back, eyes twinkling.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to go out of his way to pamper you, running his fingers through your hair, bringing you your favorite snacks, and whispering, “I’ll always be here. You know that, right?” , when you tell him you are not feeling well.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to be your personal cheerleader, hyping you up for even the smallest things. got through a tough day? he’s there with chocolates and a whole pep talk ready. and he’ll proudly tell you, “no one can make it look as easy as you do.”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to never let a day go by without reminding you he loves you. sometimes it’s a grand declaration with his arms wide open, and other times, it’s a soft whisper before you fall asleep. and he’ll say, “just so you never forget, okay?”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to sit tightly and refuse to move, if you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder, even if his arm goes numb. he’ll sit there, smiling like an idiot, staring at you with this soft, mesmerized look, thinking, “how did I get so lucky?”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to insist on walking you home, every single time. he’ll joke that he’s “keeping you safe from imaginary threats,” but the truth is he just loves spending those last few moments with you, holding your hand and pretending he has all the time in the world.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to “borrow” your favorite scent to keep with him. he’d “accidentally” swipe your hoodie or spray your perfume on his shirt just so he can feel close to you, especially when you’re not there. when you ask him about it, he’ll shrug and say, “hey, it just reminds me of you. can you blame me?”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to leave you voice messages with the sweetest goodnight wishes, describing how he can’t wait to see you tomorrow and how he feels lucky to have you. he’ll say, “i hope you know you’re always on my mind, even when we’re apart,” and you can hear that little softness in his voice that he usually hides.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to make every anniversary a huge deal, no matter how small. he’ll show up with your favorite flowers, make dinner reservations, or even do something totally spontaneous like renting out a whole theater to watch your favorite movie together, because “you deserve the world, and i’m giving you the closest thing to it.”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to playfully write “mr. and mrs.” on random papers or text you with your name combined with his last name. when you roll your eyes, he’ll laugh and say, “just a little practice for the future, right?” and his tone is playful, but there’s a part of him that means every word.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to sneak up behind you, wrapping you in his arms out of nowhere. even if you’re in the middle of brushing your teeth, he’ll just hold you close, grin in the mirror, and whisper, “missed you.” when you ask how he could possibly miss you in two minutes, he’ll just smirk and say, “not my fault you’re this addictive.”

satoru is the type of boyfriend to send you the goofiest selfies, captioned with the most dramatic things like, “this is the man who’s desperately in love with you.” or he’ll leave voice notes telling you in detail why you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to constantly find little excuses to hold your hand, even if you’re just walking to the fridge. he’ll squeeze your hand three times (his secret “i love you”) and then kiss it when he thinks you aren’t looking, but you’ll catch him smiling to himself like he’s won the lottery.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to surprise you with handwritten love notes, sometimes with silly doodles on the side, tucked into your bag or under your pillow. he’ll write cheesy lines like, “today’s forecast: 100% chance of me loving you,” then play it cool, even though he’s secretly hoping it makes you smile.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to constantly look at you like you hung the stars. even when you’re just talking about your day or doing something random, he’ll be there, staring with that soft, awe-filled look, because he still can’t believe he got this lucky.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to pepper your entire face with kisses, occassionally switching to kitten licks. then, once he is done with your face, he will do the same with your neck. and when you would tell him to stop, he would look at you with the most adorable expression on his face and whine, "i am not done yet." and who could say no to that face?

satoru is the type of boyfriend to buy you lipsticks at every date. not just any lipstick, but branded ones- chanel and dior. when you ask him the reason, he would beg you to use him as canvas and kiss his entire body, while having the lipstick shades on. after you are done marking his face and chest with lipstick stains, he would click a polaroid picture of it.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to snuggle in between your tits, while cuddling. he would lay on top of you, crushing you under his weight, and rest his face in between your breasts. he loves your tits, and has even named them, calling them "my girls". he is the type of initiate nipple play during sex and motorboat you.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to eat you out until your legs tremble and your cries sound desperate, during sex. he claims that he loves hearing your sweet moans and pleadings when he overstimulates you. "i love how you taste", is his excuse for making you cum a manifold times.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to switch positions, every now and then. he loves bending you into a mating press, fucking you in front of the mirror but never doggy style because in satoru's words, "i need to see your face while fucking you baby"

satoru is the type of boyfriend to fuck you raw because of his baby fever. he would love to have a baby with you, who would look just like the two of you. he is the type to talk about marriage and breeding you while having sex.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to enjoy watching you take charge in bedroom. he loves succumbing beneath you because he finds that extremely hot. he loves it when you ride his cock and dominate him, especially tying him up with his blindfold."the thought alone makes me cum, mommy", satoru comments.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to turn his infinity on, when he or his fingers are inside you to stretch your abused pussy better.

satoru is the type of boyfriend to ask you to paint your nails the same shade as the tip of his cock, after watching this trend in social media. with his base being, "#EAD3C9" and the tip, "E3AEAA".

A/N: this was my first headcanon, please don't judge 😭 idk how to do this shit, i am so sorry.

pregnancy smau part 4 will be up on wednesday :)

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠

part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

synopsis: "she is busy bro" prank on jjk men.

includes: satoru gojo, suguru geto and ryomen sukuna.

a/n: nanami kento, fushiguro toji and kamo choso in the next part <3

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡

synopsis: you return home after ten years, unemployed, only to discover your nephew satoru gojo, (he is older btw, but yknow weird family relations?) a famous actor and former porn star, is unfortunately your new boss. now you have to manage celebrity scandals, survive fundraisers, deal with paparazzi, avoid falling for megumi fushiguro, and somehow ignore the fact that megumi's girlfriend might be trying to kill you. yeah, everything is going extremely well.

word count: approx 2.6k words

about a girl masterlist jjk masterlist

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3

"WHICH ONE OF YOU DARED TO FLIRT WITH MY AUNTY?"

the three young idols look at satoru, stunned and before anyone can ask for an explanation, he points a finger at fushiguro megumi.

"YOU! you look like the type of boy who fucks with older women!"

toge almost lets out an offensive gasp because it's clearly his game but doesn't want to get involved with satoru gojo.

megumi blinks, processing the allegations imposed on him, "what the hell dude!? why would i hit on your aunt out of all the people here?"

satoru shoves fushiguro's chest, the latter's drink spilling on his shirt. "YOU CANNOT BE MY UNCLE! NO FUCKING WAY!"

by now, a crowd has gathered and toge, the actual perpetrator, has slipped out quietly, blending into the crowd.

well, this is entertaining.

"dude, i am literally here with my girl-"

"I DON'T CARE!" satoru shouts and headbutts the fushiguro kid, both of them falling on the ground with satoru on top. the crowd gasps and takes out their phones to record the drama.

you sigh, watching the toddler fight but who cares? you start looking for nanami-san. atleast now you can flirt with him but toge pops up, fear evident in his eyes, "you're not going to tell that it wasn't megumi, right?"

"honestly i could not care less," you mutter, not even looking at the kid as your eyes scan the crowd for the love of your life.

one second, satoru is on top of the spiky haired kid throwing wild punches and the next, fushiguro is grabbing your nephew by his collar. "D-DO NOT T-TOUCH MAH AUNTY, YUH F-FREAK!" satoru chokes out, coughing blood on megumi's face.

"I DON'T WANT TO!" now fushiguro is the one pinned against the wall with satoru almost choking him. "YOU ARE LITERALLY HALF MY AGE, YOU BRAT!"

"nanami-san, nanami-san, where are youuuu?" you sing to yourself as you shuffle through the invested crowd. you don't care that a literal fight is going on because of you, all you care about is asking the man of your dreams out on a date before some other white haired freak intervenes.

but a shrill voice pierces your eardrums and you pause. "ALL ME-MEN *sobbing and sniffling* A-ARE THE SAME! *hiccups and sobbing* TRASH!" it is the blond hair girl, who was clinging to megumi, having a full meltdown, hair flying and tears everywhere.

even satoru is stunned, the fight stops and megumi looks up, wide eyes and pushes satoru off him. "hey no no you-"

"Y-YOU FLIRTED WITH *loud sobbing* ANO-ANOTHER G-GIRL, GUMI! I CA-CANNOT B-BELIEVE Y-YOU! YOU PROMISED ME FOREVER!" god her voice gave you the chills, people were literally covering their ears.

your messiah, zenin maki, clamps a hand over the blondie's mouth as if she does it on a daily basis.

before megumi (you finally caught his name) can intervene, satoru punches him as maki drags the kicking and screaming girl to the bathroom.

"YOU TRYING TO TWO-TIME, YOU LITTLE BRAT? HUH? CHEATER SCUM!"

"I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU DUMBFUCK IDIOT! OPEN YOUR EARS!"

suddenly siren wails and oh god, the police is here. you look at shoko, who just smirks (wait wasn't she drunk?) with a ciggerate in between her fingers. "what? it was the only way to stop these dumbasses from killing each other."

two policemen cuff satoru and megumi. first, megumi is questioned and he points a finger at maki, who's back minus the blondie and says something like, "she's my relative," or whatever.

then megumi is taken to the cop car and upon asking satoru for his guardian, that bitch screams his lungs out, pointing frantically at you, "THAT'S MY AUNTIE OVER THERE, OFFICER! PLEASE! AUNTYYYYY, SAVE YOUR NEPHEW! I'M TOO PRETTY FOR JAIL!"

your eyes widen as you ignore me and let out an awkward laugh, "hahaha! not me."

no way, you would let these people know you are satoru's aunt and this whole fight happened because of you... technically not you, but inumaki toge.

people start leaving and you finally spot nanami-san, shoko, utahime and kiyotaka-san who all make excuses to leave, saying, "you got this, y/n! prove yourself. he literally yelled for you specifically."

bitch who the fuck? we are charlie kirk? (don't ask me, i just added it out of pure randomness)

good thing is that suguru stays, and you almost feel bad for the man. at this point, you are pretty sure, it isn't a crush but suguru is in love with your nephew. you walk to where the other party is hurdled.

toge grins in a very dumb manner, as soon as he sees you, "hey, you're mister gojo's aunt, huh? not bad for a solid 50! milf-"

ignoring him, you speak up, "we are so so sorry for what our boss did." but yuta smiles gently, "it's alright, ma'am. we understand. mister gojo started it, but megumi gave as good as he got."

"hell yes, blame gojo!" toge pipes in and the entirety of the population there, almost screams, "shut up, toge!"

suguru walks towards you and asks, "ready to go bail satoru out?" before you can respond, maki says, "mind if i tag along? i need to grab megumi too."

"publicist?" you ask with a raised brow. "yeah," maki sighs, "it sucks."

"babe, we all can go with you, y'know?" yuta offers offers but toge shakes his head, "h-hell no. i need my beauty sleep, i have an on camera dti session tomorrow, can not miss-"

everyone ignores him. maki sighs, "no you both can dip, it's cool. i'll ride with these two and handle that idiot."

yuta kisses her quick and leaves, followed by toge who winks at you one final time. "come on, car's this way." suguru says as you and maki follow him to free the two jailbound fuckers.

--

you, suguru, and maki roll up to the police station and the second you push through those creaky doors, the chaos smacks you right in the face: satoru and megumi are still at each other's throats in the holding cell, yelling nonsense that makes zero sense but somehow escalates by the second.

"SO YOU'RE SAYING YOUR COCK IS USELESS? LIKE, BROKEN GOODS, NO FUNCTION, ZIP ZERO?"

megumi snaps back, "WHEN THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT, YOU DELUSIONAL PORNSTAR?"

"WELL-" satoru starts but gets cut off by the cop banging on the bars "SHUT IT OR EXTRA NIGHT BOTH OF YOU!"

the officers spot you three and instantly light up, shoving the bailout forms at you and maki.

"please fill these up and take them home, they have been at it since arrival! nonstop bickering about aunts, cocks, uncles and girlfriend! it's a damn shitshow!"

you and maki murmur an apology to the officer as both of you grab a pen, huddling at the desk scribbling at the forms.

"OKAY IT'S FINE IF YOU WANNA BE MY UNCLE OR WHATEVER TWISTED FANTASY YOU GOT GOING ON! BUT NO BABIES BRO-"

"I DON'T WANNA BE YOUR UNCLE FOR GOD'S SAKE AND I'M NOT INTO YOUR WEIRD FAMILY KINKS, I'M JUST TRYING TO BREATHE HERE!" megumi roars, face beet red, rattling the bars like a zoo animal on day three without treats.

maki glances at you, then shifts her eyes back to the papers. "you're way too young and hot to be mister gojo's aunt, you know?

"yeah, he's actually nine years older than me, distant nephew-aunt bullshit from the ancient gojo clan." you snort, dotting i's and crossing t's.

conversation flows smoothly and then she brings up the crying blonde girl from the fundraiser. "megumi's girlfriend, momo claims that she has wrinkle and pore free, soft and smooth, porcelain-doll and child-like skin."

oh so she was fushiguro junior's girlfriend but before you can reply, maki is done filling up the papers and so are you.

"AT LEAST MY AUNT'S HOT, YOUR GIRLFRIEND LOOKS LIKE A BAD CHIHUAHUA PLUSHIE!"

before megumi can fight back, the officer finally unlocks the cell door with a rusty creak, both the idiots tumbling out like escaped lab rats.

megumi snaps mouth shut at maki's glare that could melt steel meanwhile you slap satoru, crack echoing like thunderclap, with zero hesitation.

but satoru beams like you hung the moon and lunges into a bearhug, "i knew you'd come save me, aunty! hehehehe you my knight in shining armour!"

megumi's staring at you wide-eyed, as if asking if you were the aunt. you nod, answering his question and realization dawns on his face.

suddenly, satoru walks towards megumi and wraps an arm around his shoulder as if they have been friends for a long time. "see brat, i still do not see you as my uncle-"

"i don't-"

"BUT BUT BUT if you treat my aunty real nice and agree to househusband duties, i'm cool with it! do not be embarrassed about a dysfunctional penis."

you, maki and suguru are visibly confused, what is even the context of this conversation?

"mister gojo, you on coke or something?" maki asks.

"nah nah, this little guy straight up said he cannot have babies at so i figured-"

"I SAID I DO NOT WANT BABIES! WITH YOUR AUNT! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU GET YOU MANIAC?"

not being able to handle the clowns anymore, you look at suguru instantly, trying to convey that you ant to leave this shithole through your eyes. he understands the look immediately, and nods. god you this man, if only he were not gay, you would fuck h-

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? not even a month of working as satoru's publicist and you are already wrecked.

you flash a quick smile at maki and megumi, as if to tell them you are leaving and they return the gesture. "satoru come on, we are leaving!"

you turn around and bump straight into a wall. huh?

TRALALEO TRALALA. it is not a wall, it's a man's chest. very hard and muscular chest, if you are being honest. damn are those manboobs-

you hear someone clear their throat, and you look up to see a man with jet black hair, a scar slashing on the corner of his mouth, a very sultry waist with massive tits, spitting image of megumi but jacked up daddy edition.

"i- i am so sorry sir." you notice that behind the man, momo is standing, shaking and crying.

a sigh. "i am so done with this, i am leaving. you take him home, uncle." maki says, flashing a smile to you and leaving as soon as posible, clearly not wanting to witness anymore of whatever the fuck is going on.

but did she just called this hot man uncle? you are almost offended, you have always felt special being the "hot aunt" but now there is this ridiculously fine man, giving you competition.

"dad!? what are you doing here with momo?"

dad?

the man straight up ignores you, oh wow rude, and walks towards megumi with momo trailing behind, shaking like a caterpillar.

even satoru is quiet, waiting for the family drama to unfold. it is funny how you, suguru and satoru hurdle up together at a corner, sharing popcorn with the officers who are no longer annoyed but engrossed in the gossip.

"hey son, she blew up my phone at 2 am and said into a fight with this gojo fuckass-"

"HEY YOUR BLIND HORNY IDIOT OF A SON WAS FLIRTING WITH MY AUNTY!" satoru can't help himself, piping up from the huddle.

"WAEEEEEE! M-MEGUMI WAEEEE! *sniffles* I TRUSTED YOUUUU!" momo wails, and oh god, if only you could rip off her vocal chords and-

NO. BAD Y/N! BAD!

megumi looks exhausted as he walks closer to his girlfriend, "no no don't cry, babe! i will buy the barbie dollhouse-"

barbie dollhouse? what?

"Y-YOU TH-THINK I AM A *sobs and hiccups* GOLD D-DIGGER!" her wailing goes louder and considering, you are a girl's girl, you have never wanted to beat up a woman this much.

mister fushiguro raises his brow lazily, "yo girl, quit wailing like a duck getting railed, alright? gotta talk my son real quick, k?"

"b-but g-gumi... he... uhm... flirted... with... her..."

oh the look on toji's face. he looks like he is going to pick up the tiny blonde and yeet her across the room. "he looks scary," satoru whispers to a policeman, taking a handful of popcorn from him and sharing it with you and suguru.

momo's eyes widen at mister fushiguro's face and she stumbles back but guess what? she falls down, straight on her butt as she lets out a cacophonous shriek, "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

satoru jerks up, dropping the popcorn and earning a glare from suguru.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" mister fushiguro screams back louder, startling everyone.

momo flinches and then, "I-I DO-DONT *hiccup* WA-WANT TO TA-TALK TO YOUUUU YOU LYING CHEATER!" she gives megumi one last glare and bolts out of the door.

before megumi can ask his father what the fuck was that, mister fushiguro speaks up, "so gojo, ay? what makes ya think my son was flirting with ya aunt?"

satoru makes a duh face and points at you, "have you seen my aunt?"

fushiguro senior's eyes visibly widens, "damn son, good game!"

"actually, there is a pr emergency! fight between mister gojo and mister fushiguro jr is going viral! we need to collaborate for a damage control!" suguru chimes in, staring down at his tabloid.

"nope! this was the first and last gojo-fushiguro interaction ever! i don't want this emo twink within eyeball distance of my aunt!" satoru pouts.

"for the love of god! i DON'T want your aunt! no offense miss gojo, but i'm taken sorry."

you awkwardly chuckle and mister fushiguro senior adds onto the awkwardness. "you sure don't want her son? she's-"

"DAD!?"

suguru, being the reasonable one he is, tries to bring up the pr emergency again. "h-hey guys! hey guys chill collab-"

"YOUR SON'S TRYNA SLIDE INTO MY AUNTY'S PANTS WITH THAT DYSFUNCTIONAL BABYLESS COCK THAT EVEN VIAGRA CANNOT FIX!"

"lol better than that screechy ass blonde my son is dating-"

"I'M NOT A CHEATER GODDAMMIT-"

"ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT! YOU THREE ARE GROWN-ASS MEN WITH BANK ACCOUNTS BIGGER THAN YOUR EGOS SO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT! SATORU IT WASN'T MEGUMI WHO FLIRTED WITH ME IT WAS THAT GREMLIN INUMAKI TOGE AND YOU TWO FUSHIGUROS! *takes a deep breath* STOP BRAWLING MY NEPHEW LIKE STREET RATS, YOU IDIOTS ARE SO FUCKING DUMB. POOR SUGURU'S OVER HERE BEGGING FOR DAMAGE CONTROL JOINT PR FIX BUT YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKERS DON'T GIVE A SHIT ! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WINNING YOUR DUMBASS PISSING CONTEST- GOD YOU'D RATHER GO BROKE, LIVE UNDER A BRIDGE AS HOMELESS CLOWNS, BEGGING FOR POCKET CHANGE THAN FIX THIS SHIT AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THEN YOU THREE WILL STARVE SLOW WRETCHED DEATHS WITH WORMS FEASTING ON YOUR ROTTING CORPSES! AND NOBODY EVEN VISITING YOUR GRAVES!"

you suck in a deep breath, chest heaving. the two fushiguros, satoru and suguru are looking at you, even the officers have stopped munching on their popcorn.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DUMBASSES WAITING FOR? GET IN YOUR DAMN CARS!"

"yes ma'am!" satoru, megumi and his father scatter like roaches under kitchen light with pure, whipped obedience.

suguru looks at you with heart eyes, "you're a fucking goddess, y/n! thanks for saving my sanity!"

a/n: what did i just write?

taglist (open): @bunichuu @weloveyapping @luminasdiaries @blah--blah-18 @myredscandavianscarf @kissmarrykillxoxo @sweetrawr @itisarollercoasterkindofrush @i-liketoast @emluvsgetou @anonymity-222

[satoruswifeyyyy]

i have really wanted to write this fic lmao, y'all thanks for voting 😭

𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

ft. megumi fushiguro

jjk masterlist

synopsis: you return home after ten years, unemployed, only to discover your nephew satoru gojo, (he is older btw, but yknow weird family relations?) a famous actor and former porn star, is unfortunately your new boss. now you have to manage celebrity scandals, survive fundraisers, deal with paparazzi, avoid falling for megumi fushiguro, and somehow ignore the fact that megumi's girlfriend might be trying to kill you. yeah, everything is going extremely well.

cw: all i can say is crack and lots of swearing. trust me, i will be adding loads of random unhinged things that do not make sense at all, not proofread.

(read in order)

chapter 1: 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴

chapter 2: 𝘪'𝘮 𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘵

chapter 3: 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘮 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺

chapter 4: 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

chapter 5: 𝘪 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪 𝘥𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨

more to come, i hope.

these are random ass song titles btw, nothing related to the chapter 😭

comment to be added in the taglist.

[satoruswifeyyyy]

part 2 has been uploaded, here's the link

[satoruswifeyyyy]

i feel so clumsy sometimes 😭 like wdym i accidentally posted a fic while editing the draft-

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡

synopsis: you return home after ten years, unemployed, only to discover your nephew satoru gojo, (he is older btw, but yknow weird family relations?) a famous actor and former porn star, is unfortunately your new boss. now you have to manage celebrity scandals, survive fundraisers, deal with paparazzi, avoid falling for megumi fushiguro, and somehow ignore the fact that megumi's girlfriend might be trying to kill you. yeah, everything is going extremely well.

word count: approx 2.6k words

about a girl masterlist jjk masterlist

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3

"WHICH ONE OF YOU DARED TO FLIRT WITH MY AUNTY?"

the three young idols look at satoru, stunned and before anyone can ask for an explanation, he points a finger at fushiguro megumi.

"YOU! you look like the type of boy who fucks with older women!"

toge almost lets out an offensive gasp because it's clearly his game but doesn't want to get involved with satoru gojo.

megumi blinks, processing the allegations imposed on him, "what the hell dude!? why would i hit on your aunt out of all the people here?"

satoru shoves fushiguro's chest, the latter's drink spilling on his shirt. "YOU CANNOT BE MY UNCLE! NO FUCKING WAY!"

by now, a crowd has gathered and toge, the actual perpetrator, has slipped out quietly, blending into the crowd.

well, this is entertaining.

"dude, i am literally here with my girl-"

"I DON'T CARE!" satoru shouts and headbutts the fushiguro kid, both of them falling on the ground with satoru on top. the crowd gasps and takes out their phones to record the drama.

you sigh, watching the toddler fight but who cares? you start looking for nanami-san. atleast now you can flirt with him but toge pops up, fear evident in his eyes, "you're not going to tell that it wasn't megumi, right?"

"honestly i could not care less," you mutter, not even looking at the kid as your eyes scan the crowd for the love of your life.

one second, satoru is on top of the spiky haired kid throwing wild punches and the next, fushiguro is grabbing your nephew by his collar. "D-DO NOT T-TOUCH MAH AUNTY, YUH F-FREAK!" satoru chokes out, coughing blood on megumi's face.

"I DON'T WANT TO!" now fushiguro is the one pinned against the wall with satoru almost choking him. "YOU ARE LITERALLY HALF MY AGE, YOU BRAT!"

"nanami-san, nanami-san, where are youuuu?" you sing to yourself as you shuffle through the invested crowd. you don't care that a literal fight is going on because of you, all you care about is asking the man of your dreams out on a date before some other white haired freak intervenes.

but a shrill voice pierces your eardrums and you pause. "ALL ME-MEN *sobbing and sniffling* A-ARE THE SAME! *hiccups and sobbing* TRASH!" it is the blond hair girl, who was clinging to megumi, having a full meltdown, hair flying and tears everywhere.

even satoru is stunned, the fight stops and megumi looks up, wide eyes and pushes satoru off him. "hey no no you-"

"Y-YOU FLIRTED WITH *loud sobbing* ANO-ANOTHER G-GIRL, GUMI! I CA-CANNOT B-BELIEVE Y-YOU! YOU PROMISED ME FOREVER!" god her voice gave you the chills, people were literally covering their ears.

your messiah, zenin maki, clamps a hand over the blondie's mouth as if she does it on a daily basis.

before megumi (you finally caught his name) can intervene, satoru punches him as maki drags the kicking and screaming girl to the bathroom.

"YOU TRYING TO TWO-TIME, YOU LITTLE BRAT? HUH? CHEATER SCUM!"

"I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU DUMBFUCK IDIOT! OPEN YOUR EARS!"

suddenly siren wails and oh god, the police is here. you look at shoko, who just smirks (wait wasn't she drunk?) with a ciggerate in between her fingers. "what? it was the only way to stop these dumbasses from killing each other."

two policemen cuff satoru and megumi. first, megumi is questioned and he points a finger at maki, who's back minus the blondie and says something like, "she's my relative," or whatever.

then megumi is taken to the cop car and upon asking satoru for his guardian, that bitch screams his lungs out, pointing frantically at you, "THAT'S MY AUNTIE OVER THERE, OFFICER! PLEASE! AUNTYYYYY, SAVE YOUR NEPHEW! I'M TOO PRETTY FOR JAIL!"

your eyes widen as you ignore me and let out an awkward laugh, "hahaha! not me."

no way, you would let these people know you are satoru's aunt and this whole fight happened because of you... technically not you, but inumaki toge.

people start leaving and you finally spot nanami-san, shoko, utahime and kiyotaka-san who all make excuses to leave, saying, "you got this, y/n! prove yourself. he literally yelled for you specifically."

bitch who the fuck? we are charlie kirk? (don't ask me, i just added it out of pure randomness)

good thing is that suguru stays, and you almost feel bad for the man. at this point, you are pretty sure, it isn't a crush but suguru is in love with your nephew. you walk to where the other party is hurdled.

toge grins in a very dumb manner, as soon as he sees you, "hey, you're mister gojo's aunt, huh? not bad for a solid 50! milf-"

ignoring him, you speak up, "we are so so sorry for what our boss did." but yuta smiles gently, "it's alright, ma'am. we understand. mister gojo started it, but megumi gave as good as he got."

"hell yes, blame gojo!" toge pipes in and the entirety of the population there, almost screams, "shut up, toge!"

suguru walks towards you and asks, "ready to go bail satoru out?" before you can respond, maki says, "mind if i tag along? i need to grab megumi too."

"publicist?" you ask with a raised brow. "yeah," maki sighs, "it sucks."

"babe, we all can go with you, y'know?" yuta offers offers but toge shakes his head, "h-hell no. i need my beauty sleep, i have an on camera dti session tomorrow, can not miss-"

everyone ignores him. maki sighs, "no you both can dip, it's cool. i'll ride with these two and handle that idiot."

yuta kisses her quick and leaves, followed by toge who winks at you one final time. "come on, car's this way." suguru says as you and maki follow him to free the two jailbound fuckers.

--

you, suguru, and maki roll up to the police station and the second you push through those creaky doors, the chaos smacks you right in the face: satoru and megumi are still at each other's throats in the holding cell, yelling nonsense that makes zero sense but somehow escalates by the second.

"SO YOU'RE SAYING YOUR COCK IS USELESS? LIKE, BROKEN GOODS, NO FUNCTION, ZIP ZERO?"

megumi snaps back, "WHEN THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT, YOU DELUSIONAL PORNSTAR?"

"WELL-" satoru starts but gets cut off by the cop banging on the bars "SHUT IT OR EXTRA NIGHT BOTH OF YOU!"

the officers spot you three and instantly light up, shoving the bailout forms at you and maki.

"please fill these up and take them home, they have been at it since arrival! nonstop bickering about aunts, cocks, uncles and girlfriend! it's a damn shitshow!"

you and maki murmur an apology to the officer as both of you grab a pen, huddling at the desk scribbling at the forms.

"OKAY IT'S FINE IF YOU WANNA BE MY UNCLE OR WHATEVER TWISTED FANTASY YOU GOT GOING ON! BUT NO BABIES BRO-"

"I DON'T WANNA BE YOUR UNCLE FOR GOD'S SAKE AND I'M NOT INTO YOUR WEIRD FAMILY KINKS, I'M JUST TRYING TO BREATHE HERE!" megumi roars, face beet red, rattling the bars like a zoo animal on day three without treats.

maki glances at you, then shifts her eyes back to the papers. "you're way too young and hot to be mister gojo's aunt, you know?

"yeah, he's actually nine years older than me, distant nephew-aunt bullshit from the ancient gojo clan." you snort, dotting i's and crossing t's.

conversation flows smoothly and then she brings up the crying blonde girl from the fundraiser. "megumi's girlfriend, momo claims that she has wrinkle and pore free, soft and smooth, porcelain-doll and child-like skin."

oh so she was fushiguro junior's girlfriend but before you can reply, maki is done filling up the papers and so are you.

"AT LEAST MY AUNT'S HOT, YOUR GIRLFRIEND LOOKS LIKE A BAD CHIHUAHUA PLUSHIE!"

before megumi can fight back, the officer finally unlocks the cell door with a rusty creak, both the idiots tumbling out like escaped lab rats.

megumi snaps mouth shut at maki's glare that could melt steel meanwhile you slap satoru, crack echoing like thunderclap, with zero hesitation.

but satoru beams like you hung the moon and lunges into a bearhug, "i knew you'd come save me, aunty! hehehehe you my knight in shining armour!"

megumi's staring at you wide-eyed, as if asking if you were the aunt. you nod, answering his question and realization dawns on his face.

suddenly, satoru walks towards megumi and wraps an arm around his shoulder as if they have been friends for a long time. "see brat, i still do not see you as my uncle-"

"i don't-"

"BUT BUT BUT if you treat my aunty real nice and agree to househusband duties, i'm cool with it! do not be embarrassed about a dysfunctional penis."

you, maki and suguru are visibly confused, what is even the context of this conversation?

"mister gojo, you on coke or something?" maki asks.

"nah nah, this little guy straight up said he cannot have babies at so i figured-"

"I SAID I DO NOT WANT BABIES! WITH YOUR AUNT! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU GET YOU MANIAC?"

not being able to handle the clowns anymore, you look at suguru instantly, trying to convey that you ant to leave this shithole through your eyes. he understands the look immediately, and nods. god you this man, if only he were not gay, you would fuck h-

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? not even a month of working as satoru's publicist and you are already wrecked.

you flash a quick smile at maki and megumi, as if to tell them you are leaving and they return the gesture. "satoru come on, we are leaving!"

you turn around and bump straight into a wall. huh?

TRALALEO TRALALA. it is not a wall, it's a man's chest. very hard and muscular chest, if you are being honest. damn are those manboobs-

you hear someone clear their throat, and you look up to see a man with jet black hair, a scar slashing on the corner of his mouth, a very sultry waist with massive tits, spitting image of megumi but jacked up daddy edition.

"i- i am so sorry sir." you notice that behind the man, momo is standing, shaking and crying.

a sigh. "i am so done with this, i am leaving. you take him home, uncle." maki says, flashing a smile to you and leaving as soon as posible, clearly not wanting to witness anymore of whatever the fuck is going on.

but did she just called this hot man uncle? you are almost offended, you have always felt special being the "hot aunt" but now there is this ridiculously fine man, giving you competition.

"dad!? what are you doing here with momo?"

dad?

the man straight up ignores you, oh wow rude, and walks towards megumi with momo trailing behind, shaking like a caterpillar.

even satoru is quiet, waiting for the family drama to unfold. it is funny how you, suguru and satoru hurdle up together at a corner, sharing popcorn with the officers who are no longer annoyed but engrossed in the gossip.

"hey son, she blew up my phone at 2 am and said into a fight with this gojo fuckass-"

"HEY YOUR BLIND HORNY IDIOT OF A SON WAS FLIRTING WITH MY AUNTY!" satoru can't help himself, piping up from the huddle.

"WAEEEEEE! M-MEGUMI WAEEEE! *sniffles* I TRUSTED YOUUUU!" momo wails, and oh god, if only you could rip off her vocal chords and-

NO. BAD Y/N! BAD!

megumi looks exhausted as he walks closer to his girlfriend, "no no don't cry, babe! i will buy the barbie dollhouse-"

barbie dollhouse? what?

"Y-YOU TH-THINK I AM A *sobs and hiccups* GOLD D-DIGGER!" her wailing goes louder and considering, you are a girl's girl, you have never wanted to beat up a woman this much.

mister fushiguro raises his brow lazily, "yo girl, quit wailing like a duck getting railed, alright? gotta talk my son real quick, k?"

"b-but g-gumi... he... uhm... flirted... with... her..."

oh the look on toji's face. he looks like he is going to pick up the tiny blonde and yeet her across the room. "he looks scary," satoru whispers to a policeman, taking a handful of popcorn from him and sharing it with you and suguru.

momo's eyes widen at mister fushiguro's face and she stumbles back but guess what? she falls down, straight on her butt as she lets out a cacophonous shriek, "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

satoru jerks up, dropping the popcorn and earning a glare from suguru.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" mister fushiguro screams back louder, startling everyone.

momo flinches and then, "I-I DO-DONT *hiccup* WA-WANT TO TA-TALK TO YOUUUU YOU LYING CHEATER!" she gives megumi one last glare and bolts out of the door.

before megumi can ask his father what the fuck was that, mister fushiguro speaks up, "so gojo, ay? what makes ya think my son was flirting with ya aunt?"

satoru makes a duh face and points at you, "have you seen my aunt?"

fushiguro senior's eyes visibly widens, "damn son, good game!"

"actually, there is a pr emergency! fight between mister gojo and mister fushiguro jr is going viral! we need to collaborate for a damage control!" suguru chimes in, staring down at his tabloid.

"nope! this was the first and last gojo-fushiguro interaction ever! i don't want this emo twink within eyeball distance of my aunt!" satoru pouts.

"for the love of god! i DON'T want your aunt! no offense miss gojo, but i'm taken sorry."

you awkwardly chuckle and mister fushiguro senior adds onto the awkwardness. "you sure don't want her son? she's-"

"DAD!?"

suguru, being the reasonable one he is, tries to bring up the pr emergency again. "h-hey guys! hey guys chill collab-"

"YOUR SON'S TRYNA SLIDE INTO MY AUNTY'S PANTS WITH THAT DYSFUNCTIONAL BABYLESS COCK THAT EVEN VIAGRA CANNOT FIX!"

"lol better than that screechy ass blonde my son is dating-"

"I'M NOT A CHEATER GODDAMMIT-"

"ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT! YOU THREE ARE GROWN-ASS MEN WITH BANK ACCOUNTS BIGGER THAN YOUR EGOS SO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT! SATORU IT WASN'T MEGUMI WHO FLIRTED WITH ME IT WAS THAT GREMLIN INUMAKI TOGE AND YOU TWO FUSHIGUROS! *takes a deep breath* STOP BRAWLING MY NEPHEW LIKE STREET RATS, YOU IDIOTS ARE SO FUCKING DUMB. POOR SUGURU'S OVER HERE BEGGING FOR DAMAGE CONTROL JOINT PR FIX BUT YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKERS DON'T GIVE A SHIT ! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WINNING YOUR DUMBASS PISSING CONTEST- GOD YOU'D RATHER GO BROKE, LIVE UNDER A BRIDGE AS HOMELESS CLOWNS, BEGGING FOR POCKET CHANGE THAN FIX THIS SHIT AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THEN YOU THREE WILL STARVE SLOW WRETCHED DEATHS WITH WORMS FEASTING ON YOUR ROTTING CORPSES! AND NOBODY EVEN VISITING YOUR GRAVES!"

you suck in a deep breath, chest heaving. the two fushiguros, satoru and suguru are looking at you, even the officers have stopped munching on their popcorn.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DUMBASSES WAITING FOR? GET IN YOUR DAMN CARS!"

"yes ma'am!" satoru, megumi and his father scatter like roaches under kitchen light with pure, whipped obedience.

suguru looks at you with heart eyes, "you're a fucking goddess, y/n! thanks for saving my sanity!"

a/n: what did i just write?

taglist (open): @bunichuu @weloveyapping @luminasdiaries @blah--blah-18 @myredscandavianscarf @kissmarrykillxoxo @sweetrawr @itisarollercoasterkindofrush @i-liketoast @emluvsgetou @anonymity-222

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠

part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

synopsis: "she is busy bro" prank on jjk men.

includes: satoru gojo, suguru geto and ryomen sukuna.

a/n: nanami kento, fushiguro toji and kamo choso in the next part <3

[satoruswifeyyyy]

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠

part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

synopsis: "she is busy bro" prank on jjk men.

includes: satoru gojo, suguru geto and ryomen sukuna.

a/n: nanami kento, fushiguro toji and kamo choso in the next part <3

[satoruswifeyyyy]

HAI HELLO (´▽｀) i just wanna say that i love ur drabbles and smau oh em gee they make my day like 100x better… but i do yearn for the day u add yuji to your character list (｡ ́︿ ̀｡) I HOPE THIS ISNT MEAN IM SO SORRY,,,

omg so sweeetttt 👉👈 OMG SURE YUJI-KUN WILL BE ADDED DO NOT WORRYYY and no it is not rude