WHETHER I KICK A KITTEN... TEAR OFF YOUR EARS... EVEN SLAUGHTER INNOCENT PEOPLE... THE WORLD WILL NEVER CEASE TO FORGIVE MY ACTIONS!
WHY, YOU ASK? THAT’S RIGHT, IT IS BECAUSE I AM... BEAUTIFUL!!!
KYO! ▸ 18. SHE/HER. MEXICAN. LOSER. HEBIHIME. FULL TIME GOJO SIMP. TOJI APOLOGIST AT HEART. JJK MEN COCKWHORE.
8teen plus required. not suitable for minors. jjk centric blog, for now. requests: closed. users are blocked after spam liking 5> posts. ageless and blank blogs will also be blocked. following me means you’ve been through the rules first.
✶ angst ; mentions of murder and violence , royalty au , knight!satoru, princess!fem!reader , slight geto x reader , mentions of miscarriage , smut(?) , secret romance/affair , inspired by 'la mentira' by luis miguel (and half of his discography as well😭) .
✶ word count ; 3.6 k
✶ requested by ; @satoruwiki !
✶ SORRY FOR THE LONG WAITTTT! i didnt like the first installment of this and then i thought of this idea, anyways i hope you like it kyo bella m.list
the night air was chilly, its winds brushing through the imperial gardens flora and lowering the ambiance temperature. though you would not fret, the cozy coat of your beloved knight draped over your figure with its sole purpose to shield you from any unwanted discomfort.
the waxing moon glistened in the moving pond's reflection, and the marble bench secured your position as you enjoyed the quiet. though you did not feel truly complete, "you can sit beside me, you know?"
"dire consequences will follow if we were ever to be discovered being too close, princess. especially in your father's palace."
"satoru, you're no fun!" while on duty, his goofy and bright personality dissipated. he did his job properly, oh but when you two were alone in your room, drinking tea, reading in the terrace, or in your personal garden; your beloved knight became the sweetest, most cheeky man you have interacted with to date.
"well, i guess we will just have to leave this place if i want your affection. hmm?" as you stand up, you extend your hand for gojo to take. even if he executes his job as your escort flawlessly, there are cracks in his righteous behavior. his pearly white teeth glistened from the wide smile he gave you while tenderly taking your gloved hand in his rough ones. you giggle while he twirls you away from the sitting area in the garden.
the walk back home was pleasant, walking alongside your beloved, almost hand in hand, was a precious moment to you. there were moments in the daytime where the two of you separated, so you would catch up on one another on whatever was of interest that the other did not witness.
"your beloved duke came to see me— well you, but you were not on my side, so i delighted him with my company so his time would not be wasted."
"my beloved duke?" gojo asked.
"such a close friend as suguru surely is a beloved one, even if he looks out for you to spar and beat you with a stick more than anything."
"no wonder, and we do not fight with sticks." he said while stopping in his tracks. the metal creaking of your estate's gates signaled your arrival home.
"shall we?" gojo's toned and calloused right hand extended forward, your soft, delicate hand rested on his with eagerness.
inside your room, you sat across a golden vanity with a wide mirror. with a candlelight you traversed around your hair, adjusting some strands that poked out of place. though it was not the end of the night, even if it was too late, your window busted open. howling winds pushed the laced curtains around. the white-haired man, your knight, your love, came in the room with feathering ease.
"satoru!"
"my love!" his blue, sparkling eyes took your frame in a white nightgown. he could not handle such cuteness, running up to you and taking you by the waist. he placed his lips, which were owned by you, on your plump ones.
gojo began to caress every inch of your covered back, grasping and wiring in the memory of your warm body. he was not alone in the need to explore a foreign body. only in these types of moments, secluded and in the dark could you relish in his embrace. just as it should be.
your knight was not reluctant into breaking the passionate kiss you were both sharing, as he still pecked around your lips while backing his step until dragging you to fall on your wide, luxurious bed.
"sleep with me," he whispered, as if scared his desires would be found out. you gasped by his bold tongue, "yes, even before marriage..." he joked as usual.
"let me stay by your side tonight." laying on top of him, there was nothing in the known world that could wipe your smile.
"come on," you tugged at the strings on his silk shirt, "i'll give you the softest pillow... just for today!"
the young knight snickered while trailing behind you, "well your royal highness, i am flattered by such generosity—ack!"
"shhhhh," you gestured, though the precaution you feigned was no mask for the grin you held while doing so. both your laughter subsided, finally being wrapped up with one another in the sheets. wishing that moments like these lasted forever.
fine crafted metal crashed into one another with unmatched strength. causing sharp noises and tiny metal shards to fly, "the more you hang out with the princess, the more chance of being the victor i am... keep it up!"
the esteemed knight never had his grip on the sword falter as he charged towards his rival, duke, and friend, "keep on dreaming your grace!"
gojo was swift in his moves, taking the offense more than defense. he was not going to be won over and kneel because of his friend. he had to fight for his position, his honor, and most importantly, your praise. with this fantasy running around in his mind, he became quick on his feet and light on his swings.
swiftly backing the duke until his sword was maneuvered by the knight out of the nobles' hands. the defeat only made geto sigh and smile to himself. "once again, old friend. you win this round. now run along, i know of a certain lady who will be pleased to hear about this."
"nice spar, my friend." gojo grabbed geto's hand, shaking it with an unbendable grip, "keep it up, and someday you'll beat me, your grace."
"who knows..."
"suguru... uh, what do you mean? why would you say that?"
"you know things will never be as good as they are now, right?" the duke said, untying his raven locks out of their band and began to comb through it a little.
"suguru," gojo patted his closest friend a little too hard, "do not say such harsh words. even if things change, we will always stick together."
that statement made geto break a faint smile. nodding along and sending his friend on his way, his smile fades.
your fingers ran along gojo's silver locks in praise. his head resting on your chest while you sat comfortably on his lap. it was a peaceful afternoon in your chambers. but gojo was anxious, his mind spinning in endless circles, "do you think we will last forever."
"probably..." you answered quite puzzled, "we will always stay by each other's side, no matter what."
this precise moment, the knight felt so disconnected from you, even as he listened to the beat of your heart drum consistently in his year. he knew your hearts were beating a different rhythm. "while showing the love we have for each other?"
"don't trouble yourself with such thoughts, 'toru." sincerely speaking, you were not sure how to answer his question. but those troublesome thoughts leaving gojo distressed, in the short run, became true.
gojo remained stoic behind you while your father announced your engagement to suguru geto. the spacious room was giddy by the ton in joyous surprise. blue ocean eyes kept their fixation on the only sight they have ever deemed as beyond beautiful. the heartstrings of the devoted knight were being tugged at ruthlessly as your pearly smile showed genuine content. so he staued quietly behind you, digging his nails deep in his palms. withstanding the sight of your arm clinging on to your new fiancé.
"'toru!"
"do not call me that anymore!" you take a step back by the way his voice cracked. it was the last thing you wanted, the soft grass crunched beneath your weight, pondering on how to assess the situation at hand.
"satoru, he knows!" grief struck your words, a strong breeze swaying your dress as you spoke, you wished such breeze would take this problem away, "my father... someone knew about us and told him. i-i, i have no idea who...!"
you treaded towards him, easy in your step though in a haste to catch up to him. but the more you approached your beloved knight, the distance he established became greater or as if you had never even moved an inch closer to him, "we could have figured out something out."
"he threatened to kill you 'toru!" you choked out a sob, "how... how could i ever let you die for me?"
"it is my job to die for you."
"i do not care, not like that, not because you love me." you say, gripping at the fabric covering your chest. "we can make this right... we-... we can leave once my father is gone. he's old and does not have much time left in this life. i can delay my matrimony as long as possible, and we'll leave. somewhere, anywhere."
your words tugged at his hopeful expectations of a pleasant life, "i don't want you to leave all the luxuries you're showered with. i could never do that to you."
"all i need is you. you know this, no gold, no silk nor jewel could ever replace the way you make me feel." you hesitated to move forward, your lover was still hurt, you were hurt, but the shock he was facing was taking a bigger toll on him than you would have ever expected, "you are more valuable than all of those three things combined to me."
your promise cradled a spark of faith, in the future, in both of you. he loved you ever since he first laid eyes upon you. he knew he was in trouble once he learned he could not exhale a fulfilling breath without you, nor your smile, or your laughter, or your sweet words. so he was willing to dive headfirst into the unknown while holding your hand blindly.
but satoru and you should have known better. fairytale endings are reserved only in ink and paper. for the imagination of the naive, who believe love conquers all. it does not. the complexity of your predicaments was no match for true love's power.
just as swiftly as you were engaged, within a month, you were walking down the aisle. the talks of delayment were futile. it was your father's wish to be wed to a respectable, noble man. everything that your lover was not.
satoru, of course, did not attend the wedding. his heart, speared by countless daggers, became weak and secluded himself in the empire's frontier. there was no goodbye, no note, no glance. he sped on his horse the entire night, running away from such a nightmare. from you.
who dared bewitch him with empty promises. who dared speak words of comfort and assurance. who shamelessly dictated it was going to be a happy ending. he thought of rattling on your little affair, to chastise you from the ton. but what good would ever come out of it?
satoru gojo became wiser now. he renounced his adoration towards you, he renounced everything of you. but ultimately everything around him took its course right back to you. it was a constant and never-ending war within himself.
as he throttled on his horse, you were seeking for him amidst the sea of people, ignoring the holy ceremony unfolding before you altogether. you sought out through the thick, meshed veil the silver locks of satoru.
from an outsider's perspective, it looked like you seemed anxious or rather excited. checking that every little detail was perfectly placed. with occasional turns to adjust your dress. the guests could not help but smile at your cute little antics. you only get married once. who wouldn't want everything to be perfect?
but your erratic movements were all due to your— well former knight. trying to find him. trying to seek the comfort of his presence. however, it only took the passing of time to realize gojo was nowhere to be found.
a hand reached to your face, setting it on your cheek. it was not as big and warm as satoru's, but at least you knew this hand was nothing but a sign of kindness, "are you alright?"
"... yes." your voice is sweet and quiet, earnestly trying to hide your sadness.
"it will be fine, you will be fine. i'm here, after all." suguru whispered. he knew it wasn't much, but you were a prize he was not willing to lose. you thought that finding company in satoru's close friend would not be a bad idea, since he is to become your husband.
as your vows were exchanged, suguru lured you in for a binding kiss right after unveiling your face. the kiss was nothing out of the ordinary, although his lips were plumper though less soft and tender than your beloved knights. but it was not less comforting.
it didn't take long, but it was also arduous, the journey for your melancholy and insomnia to subside and seize reign all over your life. satoru gojo was nothing more than a memory, and you wanted it to keep it a joyous one. your new husband also helped you get rid of your sadness to a certain amount.
nevertheless, there was an inkling of sorrow and longing. after all, you deemed the white-haired man to be the love of your life.
"what are you thinking so fiercely about, dear?" your spouse appeared from behind you with two fragrant cups of tea.
"nothing much..." you smiled while receiving the decorated cup, and once more began to gaze outside the window.
"nonsense, i can hear your brain racking up from the other side of the palace! really, tell me what is on your mind."
you savored the leaf flavor all over your palate while discussing with yourself if you should tell geto your troubles.
"mmmh... it's a little bitter." you say after gulping up the liquid, you look up to your husband and former duke. those dark eyes, caring and attentive as no other, made it difficult not to reveal what was prickling at your heart and mind, and it eased your expression from the bitterness of the tea.
"just the past... nothing more." you took another sip. although you could feel him tense up. you believed he knew what you were thinking about, always, in a scary, accurate way.
"anyways, tell me about your day." you turned your back to the window to enquire suguru directly, "come along."
you grabbed his bulked arm while you pressed your lips to his cheek. then he finally broke into a smile and trailed behind you to the luxurious couch in your shared room.
satoru could not be fending for his life more than now. he was transferred up north of the territory to fend the border. where the below zero temperatures were nothing more than another enemy. the ever changing and ruthless winds delayed most of the troops he led.
the snowstorm hitting his camp had no mercy at will, shaking his tent from side to side ferociously. the capable knight was scared it would come flying off at one point or another. however, sometimes, there were delicate snowfalls, each and every snowflake descending in a harmless manner. he thought you would admire the view, even enjoy a playful moment in the soft, fresh snowfall.
he immediately shook that thought away; he was progressing in burying each and every thought of you. but that would be hard to push away in an instant.
"sir, the queen has fallen ill and requests your presence... immediately." satoru became static in place, not believing what his subordinate just busted inside the tent to announce. it didn't take long for your former knight to mount his trusty stallion and gallop forward to where you were.
it took satoru four restless days to reach the capital, and it took him fifteen minutes to reach all the way to your chambers. the route was different, the castle as well, your former one was probably vacant and sitting empty, waiting for your heir to be born and take over the place.
and gojo stared blankly at the fortified door with two guards at each side. he noticed their conspicuous glances, wondering why he was just standing there. his gaze on the barrier that separated the both of you crumbled as a doctor opened the door to leave.
"oh, i did not foresee her majesty wanting to take a visit." obviously, the doctor did not expect to see a disheveled man in front of their patient's door.
"is she-"
"she's weak," the physician cut gojo off before he could even ask the obvious, "and should take rest... although i believe i remember you. were you her previous escort? before her marriage, that is."
"y-yes..."
"oh! then the queen will be most delighted to see a friend!" the medic cheered on, unbeknownst to satoru's decaying heart as he heard the word 'friend', "it will be good for her health to see you again."
satoru doubted that.
but now that he was there, at the foot of your room, facing your sunny doctor, he could not just leave like that, "i'll be brief."
"of course sir, i'll leave you two alone." he said before closing the door shut.
"y/n?" gojo's words tread carefully and softly. after all, it has been too long since you both have seen both your faces. and the last thing he wanted was to spark confusion and unsettlement. his step was light while approaching the bed you laid in.
he called your name once more, this time louder as per his closeness. your eyes slowly opened, awaiting for the auditory hallucination to be nothing more than that. but the tender voice was accompanied by a person, one of which you would never cease to forget.
“‘toru,” it was but a whisper, an incredulous one as well, your mind certainly knew how to torment you in the most creative ways. but you felt the oh so familiar calloused had you once grew accustomed to being latched on, “you’re here.”
“why?” he said.
you glide your head on the pillow, titling it in wonder of your former knight's question.
“who did this?” the eternal scowl on his face was bothersome, as the way his skin contorted and creased made his rather beautiful face to not be as dashing as it should be.
“‘toru… people get sick, it’s natural.” you squeezed his hand with all your might, which was fairly low. all you wanted was for him to be at ease.
“but you’ve always been so lively.”
“maybe it's the baby.” with your free hand you began to touch your pelvis and smiled, “such a troublemaker.”
“you’re…” his heart plummeted to the floor. it should have been him, “does he know?”
“yes, satoru. it is my duty… and no, i told each servant and doctor i wanted to announce the good news to suguru.”
“however he is and has been nowhere to be seen i assume.” the white haired knight words came out from his grited teeth. he fell to his knee, bending it while his wight settled on the bed and his forehead connecting with his clasped hands, cradling yours.
“he’s busy…”
“you’re far more important, both of you!” his voice unwavered in his statement. his eyes meeting your watery ones, “what is it?! what is wrong, my dear?!”
“it should have been you.” you choked up a sob as you placed your former lover’s hand on your belly to repeat once more, “it should have been you. only you.”
nighttime befell on the both of you, as well as deep slumber only for satoru to be woken up by an uncomfortable sensation. as reality settled in satoru realised crimson red liquid seeping and dampening the silks of your bed covers as well as from his abdomen.
satoru looked up only to see the black locks of who used to be his friend wield a soaked sword.
“why?” was what satoru could muster between grunts.
“for the throne, of course.” geto smiled, oblivious as to his current deeds, “i am king now, she is of no use to me anymore.”
“a-and her child?”
“huh?” geto’s voice had no emotion to it, though he was genuinely confused as to your pregnancy, as you currently were not with child since a while back, “what child? she miscarried just before she really fell ill.”
he laughed as he slashed the flesh of his arms and legs, not too deep and not too shallow, just perfect to slither his way out of repercussions, “the poison in the tea might have been a bit too strong.”
satoru’s blood if it weren’t leaking out of his bowls it would be boiling of rage. it was all part of his plan. the ousting of his relationship with you, the usurping, the falling out of the both of you, the poisoning of his beloved and his banishing to the north. it did not take satoru enough to understand it was all done by suguru’s wretched hands.
“oh and she went crazy after that,” geto said and placed with little struggle, as gojo did not fight back due to the blood loss weakness, the sword on the knight's hands and pointed the blade to where the wound was, “calling out your name for you to save her, it was exhausting. but i thank the lord for giving me the patience to wait for you. to frame you of her murder.”
suguru then began to deepen the sword in the wound, moving it around to deal the final blow. he smiled, watching as the knights blood dripped and scattered out of his mouth.
“i told you, my beloved friend. things really never stay the same. goodbye.”
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / I am an only child
I love u I love u @velvetcrimsonkisses I was finishing up my exams sorry for the late reply 😭
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / I am an only child
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / I am an only child
🏷️: don’t feel like tagging anyone today sorry lmfao but anyone can join !!
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・IMAGINE LINE COOK TOJI ; pressured into doing the viral trend of 'sending my compliments to the chef' recorded by the waiters. the camera pans over to him making up something on the grill and standing like : 🧍♂️🤙🏻.
who came from shady backgrounds and was even arrested once while cooking up a burger. least to say, half of the diners' workers and regulars flared into tears when he left for a couple of months. once he came back a free man his coworkers and even frequents threw him a little party. it was nothing more than making his favorite meal and pitching in the rest of the money for him to buy the motorcycle he's been saving for quite a while now.
he rode the whole town around his new ride, even traveling to the next town over. while coming back from one of his trips he encountered a fancy, silver bmw waiting for the traffic light to change. the passenger window was rolled down and toji could not hold his heart from skipping a beat. also evident from pushing down the accelerator and making the engine rumble fiercely.
you look at him surprised, though never showing any sign of anger.
"sorry." he hoped his muffled words reached you well, "only got it for a few weeks now, still getting to know her."
"tell him to mind his business and keep that junk silent." toji heard the driver say silently but not subtle as well. he saw you brush off whatever your companion said.
"no worries, nice ride though." you winked.
this is were toji believed he would never see your face again as you are driven away from him. until you stepped foot in his diner. a cheeky grin could not be erased from him as he prepared your meal. earning him some shocked looks going his way, as everybody who had worked along side him know he does not smile often.
once your food was delivered, his line of vision never ceased to unlock itself on you. the nice, pretty girl who complimented his awesome bike. though his gaze flickered to your companion occasionally, giggling to himself mischievously knowing your companion was eating a meal garnished with toji's spit on it.
fushiguro toji has a mild obsession with your breasts. well, mild would be sort of an understatement— he’s completely obsessed with your breasts but happens to have enough self-control to not paw at them every second of the day. however, that doesn’t mean his emerald eyes won’t wander down the valley of your cleavage every now and again while you’re out in public.
he has a bad habit of fondling your chest when you’re at home though. in between cuddles, while you’re both scrolling endlessly through your social media feeds, toji will lean over and peel down the thin fabric of your tank top, your full breasts easily spilling out into his rough grasps. after so many failed attempts to shoo him away, you’ve learned to just roll with the tide and let him do as he pleases.
without hesitation, toji’s warm mouth inhales the entirety of your areolas, his hot tongue lapping and swirling around your puffy nipples. he delightfully hums at the simple taste of you on his tongue, his half-lidded eyes peering up at you as you continue to aimlessly toy with your phone. you glance down at him for a second, your lips curling into a smug smirk as he leaves sloppy kisses and slobbering bites all over the swell of your breasts.
“you enjoying yourself?” you tease as you turn your attention back to your phone. toji rolls his eyes in return, flushed lips remaining latched to your tits, the mumble of a “shut up” muffled against your skin.
are we still friends? that was the question lingering in the air after you kissed geto suguru. but how did it happen? let me explain.
the sun had just begun setting as you arrived to the skatepark after a long day of riding your skateboards around the bland town. you guys didn't do much besides laugh and joke as you rode on the sides of the interstate, the sparkle in your eye obvious every time your eyes met.
the beautiful hues of orange and yellow and pink were lively despite the melancholy demeanor of the town. his band tee had a bit of dirt on it from falling in the grass earlier. everything was perfect, too. but, there was one thing. the underlying feelings you had lingering beneath your chest that exuded from every pore when his skin brushed against your.
the night was young and he had a joint and a lighter. as soon as you both got onto the top of the largest skating ramp in the park, he sat next to you, pulling the joint from a small tubish container, along with the blue lighter from the other pocket. the smell of the weed filled the air and you couldn't help but notice how gorgeous he looked against the backdrop.
he passed the joint to you. after twenty minutes, and a few passes back and forth, the both of you had half-lidded eyes and a slightly slurred voice. "geto?" you said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. he turned his head, looking at you with droopy eyes. "yeah?" was his reply.
"nothing, i just like hearing you talk." that made him have to look away for a moment, unsure how to reply except with a soft "thanks." another few minutes of silence passed until he spoke. "have you thought about where you'll apply to yet?" he asked, referring to what college you'd be applying to. you nod. "wanna go to one of those preppy schools, y'know? the counselor said i could make it in. but i really just wanna go wherever you go."
he shook his head and looked at you again, his hand resting atop of yours. "no, you need to go where you wanna go. you know i'm not even sure if i wanna go to college anymore. maybe a community college. i can't get a scholarship," he said firmly. he sounded like your father right now, but you'd never say that. you felt a wave of melancholic emotion wash over you like a wave as he mentioned not going to the same college as you.
"geto?" you said again. "yeah?" you finally met his eyes. before you spoke, you sighed. "you'll never leave me, right? best friends forever, and that'll never change?" you asked, concern lacing your voice. he nodded. "that'll never change." you pressed your lips together, nervous. "even... even if i said i wanted to kiss you right now?" you asked. his heart fluttered in his chest.
"y/n..." he said softly, eyebrows pinched together with concern. "don't do this, please, don't." you shook your head quickly. "you know i'd never do it," you reassured. "i just wanted you to know." though he wanted nothing more than to feel your soft, sweet lips against his, he hated the thought of losing you forever. another wave of now uncomfortable silence passed. "just once couldn't hurt, right?" he asked softly, looking down at his lap as if ashamed by the question.
both of you knew this was wrong, both of you knew this would probably fuck something up. but sometimes desire is it's own battle, and it's a strong warrior. "just once," you whispered hopefully. he looked up, scooting closer to you, putting out the joint on the concrete of the ramp. your lips met for a moment before you both pulled back, the look in both of your eyes showing how much you desired one another.
your lips met again and his hands found your hair and his fingers tangled into it. you tasted amazing, he thought. his tongue danced and battled with yours as if neither of you wanted to let go of this moment. your hands cupped his face and you felt like crying. crying because you loved him so dearly but this would never last. this feeling of ecstasy and lust and love.
as soon as you pulled away, he looked down at his lap again, not wiping his mouth surprisingly. he pushed himself him from the edge of the ramp and picked up his skateboard. "geto?" you said softly, concern stinging the air around you. "y/n... please." his hands found his own hair as he pushed it back with frustration. you couldn't figure out what was going on. why was he upset? didn't he want this? you stood up, ignoring your skateboard.
"geto, please. i'm sorry, i didn't - i didn't mean to do that, i thought you- i thought that you wanted that, you kissed me, you said it didn't mean anything!" you cried. "it wasn't meant to go this far. i need to sort myself out first." without another word, he stepped onto the wooden board and let the wheels take him down the ramp.
you didn't talk to him after that. you tried telling yourself he was still sorting himself out, that he needed time. but that all turned into passing him in the hallway without another word, seeing him with his new girlfriend as he shot you yearning glares. this was it, you thought, this was the reason you needed to get away from this town forever.
ex-boyfriend toji, who's constantly being pestered by megumi about you. you're not his biological mum, but the boy's formed an attachment to you and craves your affection and warmth. you're the closest thing he's ever had to a mother, having been in his life since he was 3, and he loves you like one too. his dad is all hard and muscles and frowny, and you're all soft and sweet and always smiling at him. it's no wonder his dad couldn't keep you, he thinks.
you never raise your voice at him, feed him the best home-cooked meals, and even help him with his homework (he doesn't actually need help, he just likes the way you let him sit on your lap whilst you're on the floor and wrap your arms around him, struggling to figure out what long division is). even after you and his dad break up you never once held it against him (like other exes had) and you never stopped visiting him.
you're hands down the best (ex) girlfriend toji's ever brought home. you actually made an effort to get closer to megumi and get to know him more often. always looking for fun little things to take him to. whether it's a petting zoo, aquarium, or a normal zoo zoo.
you learnt quickly how much he loved animals and never failed to surprise him with a new plushie. one could never have too many plushies, you said to him once, booping his nose and pulling out a cute turtle from behind your back.
(when he finally moved into the dorms in first year, he had about 3 boxes alone, full of stuffed animals. he didn't have it in his heart to pick and choose which ones to take with him, so he brought all of them. you laughed at first when you saw the flood of plushies on his dorm floor when helping him move, but megumi gave you a small smile, repeating your words from almost a decade earlier.)
ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ synopsis: after having your heart broken, your best friend helps you pick up the pieces
⁺˖ ⸝⸝ content + warnings: nsfw + mdni !! fem!reader x suguru, reader was in a toxic relationship + cheated on, fwb!suguru, angst, comfort, smut, unprotected sex
⁺˖ ⸝⸝ word count: 5k (+ a smau!! woo!!)
⁺˖ ⸝⸝ author notes: pink indicates reader's pov, orange is suguru's...inspired by Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green <3 also this was not beta read so pls excuse any typos xx i hope yall enjoy !!
Heartache has its own special way of ruining someone…
...stripping away every ounce of self-respect you work so hard to accumulate. That’s the trouble with letting people in. The outcome is almost always undecided, left in the hands of fate or whatever the hell you believe in. Perhaps it's a moment of weakness, letting a stranger entangle themselves with every fiber of your being, see every inch of your skin, explore the darker parts of your mind– even the things you hide from yourself. Putting trust in the wrong things, the wrong people. Never knowing someone’s true intentions until you discover them in bed, in your bed, with another. When something breaks inside of you, something cynical puts the pieces back together. You are a shell of who you once were. Blame it on soul-crushing character development.
It’s hard to watch the woman you love destroy herself…
...for the sake of holding on to someone who has only ill-intent in their heart. Perhaps it’s best to remove yourself. It’s agonizing, knowing you have the ability to save her from all this. You could relieve her of the heartache, free her from the suffering. Bring her nothing but joy. She has changed, evolved, and is nearly unrecognizable now. You watch as he withers her down into nothing. That man broke her, leaving her to pick up the pieces. And the woman you see now isn’t the same one you knew all those years ago.
The cold air of December flurries around outside as your chest erupts in warmth at the sight of her name illuminating your lock screen. She asks to see you, and you’d be a fool to decline. As she’s sat before you, you take in every part of her that you missed. But she’s different now. Dull eyes, sloping shoulders, her cheekbones are sunken in as her clothes hang from her figure like it's two sizes too big. But it isn’t, you remember the day she bought that t-shirt. The soul that normally inhabits her body has been replaced with something…unrecognizable. You know it’s her, but your mind tells you otherwise. The way her voice lilts from her lips, how chillingly different she sounds while delivering the news, it’s heartbreaking.
She informs you she won’t be around much, mentioning that it will take time for her to heal from this. You pretend to be supportive of the distance she wants to place between herself and her loved ones, even though it absolutely crushes you.
There’s something peaceful about loneliness…
…only relying on yourself for company. It can be draining of course. With the few friends you do have, you make the most of it. It’s a serene feeling, private even. People perceive you however they please, but only a few trusted individuals know your ins and outs. It's refreshing.
God forbid you have to cater to someone else, especially when dating. It's hard enough having to take care of yourself. You make sure your friends know they’re loved and appreciated, of course, but the idea of inviting another person into your life; someone who demands your time and attention in order for it to work out? No thank you. It’s backfired for you many times before, you aren’t willing to go through it again. Your friends have watched you heal from heartbreak after heartbreak, each one more damning than the last. No one blames you for your cynicism, it’s understandable.
Plus, the emotional upkeep of a romantic relationship is exhausting. And the idea of meeting someone, falling for them, and it not working out in the end? Torturous. Why put yourself through all that?
“You just haven’t found the right one!”
“They’ll come around when you least expect it!”
“You gotta put yourself back out there!”
Blah, blah, blah. Not interested. There’s no room for hopeless romance in this ill-fated world. You’re not dealing with that pain anymore. Not if you can help it.
The trouble with love is that it’s cruel…
…discriminatory, even. Picking and choosing who gets to rejoice in its bliss and simultaneously alienating the unfortunate souls who suffer in its unyielding grip. You attempt to find peace in the silence of her absence, telling yourself that she’s okay, but knowing all too well that her precious heart is still shackled to someone so undeserving. You hold on to the irregular check-in’s you get from her. You hope she’s healing, and you prepare yourself for the outcome; that when she finally returns, she will not be the same person she was.
Betrayal has a pesky habit of sticking around…
…a lingering feeling that still eats away at you. The night you caught him in his infidelity, something deep within you broke. It wasn’t your heart, no, that would be too simple. It was your psyche, the core of your being. The day he left, a part of you left with him. The chemistry of your brain changed, your atomic makeup shifting toward nihilism.
So you move through life differently now. Every positive outlook you once had now cast to the wayside, replaced with unyielding suspicion in attempts to keep your heart guarded from the outside world. Hope has finally run out, the idea that there’s good in everyone proven to be a goddamn lie. You shove your desire for love into a padded safe and hide it away on a forgotten shelf in your mind. Hell, you’d burn that obnoxious feeling if you could. Run it through a meat grinder, chuck it into a volcano, nuke it. Doesn’t matter. Anything to stop it from tearing you apart. It’s not like it’s done you any good. Besides, who would want someone as damaged as you?
Part of you feels guilty…
…for sitting idly by, knowing your dear friend was hurting so deeply. But there wasn’t much you could do. You grant her space, knowing she wasn’t given that same courtesy for four years of her life. You pray she returns soon, aware that she doesn’t do well on her own. Her own mind is acting like a prison, holding her hostage, forcing her to relive her pain day in and day out. But, god damn it, you can’t take it anymore. You have been without her for so long. So you reach out, demanding she spend time with you. Self-isolation can only get you so far. It had been months since you’d seen her last. And to your surprise, she agrees.
A spring evening, 65 degrees, the setting sun…
…a gentle breeze that laps at your warm skin as you sit cross-legged on a checkered blanket. The beautiful flowers of May decorate the ground in colorful clusters. The cicadas sing while the bees are busy buzzing around. It’s a strange feeling; coping with the fact that your life has reached rock-bottom, a total stand-still as you work to heal yourself, yet life continues to move, to grow, to thrive. It’s inspiring in a way. You are accompanied by Suguru. He managed to get you out of the house after weeks of rotting away inside, anchored down by the gut wrenching feeling of heartbreak.
Laughter echoes through the park as the two of you revel in the serenity. Life feels…good. Whole. Worth living. It’s been a while since it has felt this way. It shouldn't feel strange, but it does. Happiness has become a foreign concept to you.
Sitting before you is the woman you love…
…the color in her cheeks has returned, the fullness of her face present once more. After suffering through the many months of thunder and unrelenting downpour in her mind, she has bloomed once more. Finally. You couldn’t pull your attention away from her even if you wanted to, your body and mind drawn to her in the most spiritual way. Even though she’s deep in thought, working to take in her surroundings, her beauty is still very much evident. She isn’t even aware of the power she holds– utterly entrancing. You would do anything to live in this moment forever. You’d do anything for her.
But in this moment…
…with a forgotten feeling of fulfillment creeping its way into your chest as the soft rays of the sun dance across your skin and the sounds of nature swirl through your ears, you realize something. Something so beautiful, yet so fucking terrifying. You love him. Suguru. Maybe it was just your heartache talking, connecting dots that had no business associating.
You brush it off, hide it away, and chalk it up to just being in a vulnerable moment. Your heart had been torn from your body only a few months prior. Anger still rips through your chest when you think about it. Four years wasted on someone you had placed on the highest pedestal, far higher than you placed your family, your friends…yourself. You were blindsided. In an instant, everything you had come to love, the home you felt safe in, the person you thought you knew…ripped away. Like it was nothing at all.
Suguru has done what he could to mend the wounds for you, knowing good and well that if you are left to your own devices you would spiral past the point of return. And as renewing as this spring evening is, you know you will never be the same again.
But you can’t help but fixate on the way he makes you feel. And as hard as you try to push those feelings away, they continue to bubble up. What happens when it finally reaches its boiling point?
You’re only human. You have wants, needs, and desires…
…so who do you turn to for that release? Suguru, of course. Isn’t that what friends are for?
Some would say it’s an evil thing to do; to use someone for pleasure, your own personal gain. A part of you understands that, too. Sure, it may have started out that way, but it’s shifted. And that scares the shit out of you, how you find yourself searching for his validation, the sadness you feel when he leaves in the morning after a night full of fun. So why not tell yourself that you’re just doing what you need to do, rather than what you want to do. Ignoring the fact that deep down you really fucking love it.
It’s not like you’re taking advantage of him and the bond you share…not really, anyway. The two of you are very close, having known each other for ten years. Side by side, maneuvering through a decade of emotional ups and downs; personal dilemmas, weird family dynamics, terrible relationships, fluctuating hormones and unexpected cast changes within your friend group. But the two of you have always stayed consistent, the main characters. Your personalities mesh well, constantly riffing off one another. Never ending laughter and smiles. He's seen you at your absolute worst and vice versa. The true definition of unconditional love. So why not get a little more from him? After all this time, it feels warranted, well-deserved, even. Ignoring what you feel for him, it just makes sense that this is how it should go down. Plus, if it was such a bad idea, why would he agree?
You would accept her…
…in any way she chooses to present herself to you. After years of watching her hurt, you finally have your friend back, and there isn’t anything you wouldn't do to make her happy. Especially with guilt that you still feel, knowing there was nothing you could have done that would’ve saved her from her suffering. So when she suggests the idea of being friends with benefits, you’d be insane to deny her that. Is it a bad idea? Perhaps. You refuse her offer? She slips away, seeking refuge in the arms of another, someone who could hurt her…Never again.
You crave her so deeply that this arrangement seems perfect. Even though you dread the morning after, not wanting to leave her side…jumping on every opportunity to see her, showering her in praise every time you’re nestled deep within her warmth– the way her eyes light up at your word makes you melt. Is it possible she feels the same way? The more you think about it, the less crazy the idea seems. Would she leave you in the dust if you told her the truth? You don’t want to risk losing her. Not if you can help it. But you can’t confess your underlying intentions. Even though a deep part of you hopes for more, it doesn’t even matter at this point. Hide it. You get to be with her in a way that you never have before, and that’s enough for you…right?
.。*゚+.*.。
It all transpired after one drunken night playing a confessional card game with your friend group. You were shit-faced and horny, and he wasn’t any better off. You’re honestly surprised his dick still worked that night, but god did it work. You didn’t expect it to go any further after that, assuming it was a one-off occasion. The two of you never really addressed what happened, either, didn’t take the time to have a real conversation about it. Just a quick “hey, do you wanna…” followed by an indifferent “yeah, why not?”, and that was that. Which is probably a good thing, because any more talking would have most likely resulted in your true feelings coming to the surface. But it happened, and is still happening, so who are you to complain? It’s perfect.
.。*゚+.*.。
Your friends and random on-lookers alike say you’re compatible, and yeah, they might be right, but fuck that. Why risk the friendship you cherish so deeply for a title? That's idiotic. It's borderline insanity. The minute you put a label on something it all comes crashing down. So, why ruin a good thing?
Don’t overthink it. It’s nothing serious, and it never will be. You refuse to open yourself up to somebody else, someone new. No more getting hurt. You’ve let Suguru into your life in a more meaningful way than you have for anyone else. And that’s far enough.
Does he know every little thing about you? Sure.
Does he care for your well-being? Yeah.
Is he attentive, thoughtful, and supportive? Of course…it is Suguru after all.
But so what? That's what friends are for.
.。*゚+.*.。
You and Suguru see each other frequently, at least three times a week, whether it’s just a normal hangout or…a hangout. You just get what you need and go; a good laugh, dinner and a movie, casual drinks, or a heaven-sent dick appointment. You both seem content, enjoying one another’s company and…bodies…and minds and souls.
Fuck.
It’s hard to ignore your totally natural, human need for deeper intimacy. But you try to, and damn do you try hard. It would probably be best for you to stop hooking up with Suguru and just go back to how things were.
You can’t go through this. Not again. You’ve already shifted the perfectly normal dynamic you once had into something deeper. Something…real. There’s no turning back now. So you continue to hide behind your ego, fighting off every demon known to man in hopes that this will all just go away.
You’ve been somewhat successful in suppressing your feelings, molding them into something more manageable. You are best friends, with the addition of benefits. Simple. Nothing more, nothing less. You pretend to be ignorant of Suguru's awe-inspiring beauty. How his energy is absolutely addicting, the way his lingering touch burns your skin so beautifully. He makes you feel seen for everything you are and appreciates you for everything you’re not. That sentiment alone propels you through the unexplored cosmos, crossing the line between reality and nirvana as starlight dances across your skin.
Not to mention, when you two are actually fucking? It's like two parts of the same soul finally meeting after centuries of arduous searching. You don’t know where your body stops and his begins, entangled in the most profound way.
God. You sound insane. This is no way to view a friend…your best friend, at that. Get it together.
What would you even call this? Touch starved? No, he touches you plenty…and in all the right places, too. Is it desperation? Your insatiable need for love? Karmic punishment for all your failed relationships? The corny trope where you end up falling for your best friend? As much as you want to fight against the feelings you have for him, it’s too late.
Whatever. Just play it off. You refuse to let your walls down. And you’d hate to give Suguru the satisfaction of being the one who commandeered heavy machinery and sent a wrecking ball toward your emotional fortress.
If you don’t acknowledge your feelings they’ll just cease to exist, right? Yeah, that’s how it works. And it’s a super healthy coping mechanism, too.
.。*゚+.*.。
All this deep pondering and emotional soul searching has got you worked up. You decide to see if Suguru wants to come over. Not because you miss him, or anything. It’ll be nothing more than a casual hook up. Dick only, no feelings.
You catch yourself giggling at his messages. Gross. You brush it off with a shake of your head, a violent wave of self awareness washing over you.
I'm not going through this again. I refuse.
You read the messages over and over. Do you seem desperate? Do your texts carry the perfect amount of indifference? Whatever. It doesn’t matter, it’s just Suguru, anyway. He's stuck around this long, it would take a lot to scare him off, now.
The plan’s in motion, and you’re going to have a good time tonight. You feel your heart rate spike at the thought of seeing him. That's a totally normal reaction for someone who has no feelings involved, right? Just friends…right?
Suguru chuckles as he reads your response. Excitement floods through his body in anticipation. Is it finally time to confess? His own eagerness catches him off-guard. He can’t. It’s too soon. He takes a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. Keep it together.
.。*゚+.*.。
It’s been so long since the feeling of joy has drifted between these barren walls. You take a swig of your drink, exhaling happily through your nose as the sweet juice dances with the sting of the liquor, warming your chest as you swallow. Leaning back on the couch with one leg kicked up on the coffee table, you absentmindedly swirl your glass as you gaze at Suguru.
“I’m really happy to see that you’re doin’ better,” he muses, taking a sip before setting his cup down. You offer him a small nod paired with a gentle smile, looking back at the drink nestled between your fingers; the ice that’s creating condensation on the outside, the way the sun seeps between the half-open curtains in your living room, the cooing of birds just beyond your window panes. Quite frankly, you’re trying your hardest to focus on anything but him. Ignoring the thrum of your heart every time you look into his eyes, pretending the smooth cadence of his voice doesn’t make your body tremble.
Say you do confess? What then? Is that really something you want, anyway? Or is it just nice to lust after someone? No, it’s not that. You really do love him. You haven’t even considered the possibility of him reciprocating these feelings, and odds are if he does, you’ll just run for the hills, not willing to open your heart up again. Your last relationship destroyed you. There’s no way you’ll allow someone to fill that void. Not with the possibility that it’ll all be a farce.
After a moment of silence, you finally speak up. “Me, too. And it’s all thanks to you, Sugu.” You finally meet his gaze, and it’s as if his eyes are attempting to pierce through you with how intently he’s looking at you. His expression quirks as if to ask what you mean. You decide to test the waters a bit. Fuck it.
“You…you’ve made me feel…whole again,” your words come out a bit choppy and drawn out, still battling with your decision to come clean. Your eyes dart around his face before looking away once more. You fiddle with your fingers, unsure of if you want to elaborate. Even if you stop here, it’s okay. That’s a totally normal thing to say to a friend who helped you in your time of need.
Your head snaps toward him at the sound of your name. More is said, but you focus on the way he addresses you. He says it so softly, so gently, like the very syllables of your title grace his tongue as they sway from in between his vocal cords. For four years, your name was used against you, weaponized with anger and hatred. But his words are relayed to you with nothing but love behind them.
Your ears are ringing as you stare at him blankly. You shake your head in hopes to clear the thoughts that are clouding it. “Wait…wha? What did you just say? The last part?”
“I said, it’s because I love you,” he smiles as he watches your face flush. Time slows as your heart rate speeds up. You brows furrow a bit, trying to piece together what the hell is going on. A million thoughts spin through your head as you stare at him. “You…love…me? Like, in a ‘best friends’ kinda way, right?” You’re shocked as he shakes his head. “No. I love you, and I have for a while. In a more than friends kinda way,” he laughs a bit before leaning forward, reaching for your hand. “You love me, too. Don’t you?”
“I-” your words get caught in your throat as his fingers rub against the back of your hand. As calm and collected as Suguru seems on the outside, he is spiraling on the inside. He isn’t sure where this newfound confidence is coming from, but he decides to roll with it. His heart thrums in his chest as he anxiously awaits your response. He has reached his tipping point, wanting nothing more than to finally be able to call you his.
You look down, staring at the place where the two of you meet, the feeling of electricity coursing through your body. A chill runs down your spine before you look back at him. “I-I do. I love you.”
.。*゚+.*.。
You’re laying on your back, your hair fanned out across the bed. Your arms are wrapped tight around his neck as he gently thrusts into you with slow, deep ruts of his hips. His head is tucked into the crook of your neck, his warm breath brushing across your sensitive skin.
He leans back, looking down at you with a sweet smile, “You are so beautiful.” His eyes run up and down your body, taking in every dip and curve of your figure, before fixating on where the two of you meet. His lips part as he watches himself disappear inside of you, a deep moan breaking through his chest at the sight of your sweet juices coating his length. He rubs intricate circles into your clit, loving the way you sound as your body writhes under his touch.
Tears begin to pool behind your eyes as you gaze up at him, entranced by the way he manages to stimulate every sense in your body. This is what love truly feels like, bestowed upon you by a man who wants nothing more than to fulfill every facet of your life.
He presses his forehead against yours as he continues to pump into you, his movements influenced by nothing more than pure adoration.
The sun bounces off your features, illuminating your face in such an ethereal way. His breath catches in his throat as he watches the way the light makes your eyes glow. You are angelic in every sense of the word. Someone too pure for this realm, unfathomably delicate; sent to this world to be worshiped and protected.
“I love you. So much,” he groans. Every ounce of devotion he has for you is being pumped into your body with every plunge. It’s overwhelming for him. He's nearly bursting at the seams as he makes love to you, moving his hips so tantalizingly slow, but wanting to thrust into you with fervor, to pound the message into you that you are deserving of all love in the world, and that he will be the one to give it to you. But he takes his time, wanting nothing more than to savor you.
Small whimpers break through your throat. “I…ahh!– I love you, S-Suguru,” you moan, whining as his head brushes into your sweet spot, making your back arch off the bed as your chest presses into his. The pleasure raking through you is immeasurable, every neuron in your brain firing off at once. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, desperate to feel every single part of him.
He cups the sides of your cheeks, brushing away your tears before placing two soft kisses over each eye. “Why’re you cryin’, my love?” he coos, concern evident on his face as he rubs his thumbs against your face. His hips pause as his eyes dart between yours.
“Just…’m just so happy,” you whisper, scrunching your nose up with a small sniffle before placing a kiss on his lips. He smiles deeply before returning to his original pace.
“You deserve it...just wanna make you feel good, baby,” his hips press him into the deepest parts of you, rubbing against your sweet, gushing walls, but his pace remains deliberate. “You deserve all the pleasure in the world,” his teeth grit ever so slightly as he feels you clench down on him. “F-fuck, baby… fuck. You are just... incredible,” he groans, angling his hips to keep brushing against your g spot.
Even though you’ve had each other many times before, no other instance compares to the way you feel right now. Your body brimming with love, fulfillment…with him. His touch makes you feel reborn, like no one has ever hurt you before. His hands glide across your skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake, his unyielding passion evident in the way he clings to you, and you to him.
“Sugu…” you gasp as he bottoms out once more. Short pants leave your lips as you feel the tightness in your stomach intensify. “P-please, keep goin’...I’m…gonna cum,” you mewl. His hands reach underneath your body, palming each asscheek as he lifts your lower half off the bed. The new angle makes your eyes roll as stars begin to dance around your head. “Me too…y’feel so fuckin’ good.” The fiction of his pelvis against your clit shoots ripples of pleasure through you. Your nails drag down his back in an attempt to ground yourself, but to no avail. This feels otherworldly. His pace picks up a bit, pushing you to unravel, your body succumbing to bliss. The warmth that engulfs his lengths makes him reach his peak right after you, his hips stuttering as he works you both through your orgasms.
He props himself up on his forearms, making a conscious effort to not collapse on you and crush you with his body weight, though you would most definitely welcome it. He watches as your chest rises and falls, every soft pant that leaves your lips like music to his yearning ears. He can’t bring himself to pull out, loving the way your walls are still spasming around him. You stare into his eyes for a moment, running your fingers down his spine. A gentle moment of silence settles between to two of you. No words are spoken, but they don't need to be.
He begins to get up, but your legs lock around his waist immediately, resheathing him inside of you. “Baby–”, he begins to object, but your arms wrap around his shoulders once more, pulling him down as you kiss the spot below his ear, “Jus’ a few more minutes. Love having you like this.”
A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest as he smiles into the crook of your neck. “You keep this up and we might just have to go again.”
And you do. For hours and hours, attempting to make up for all the years wasted. Your two souls engaging in the most mesmerizing dance. He is determined to replace all the heartache you feel with pleasure. And he does. You feel nothing but him. And he can’t focus on anything other than you. Rolling around together until the golden hue of the setting sun shifts into a light pink as it rises above the horizon. But it feels like no time has passed at all.
Suguru draws soft circles into your skin, holding you tight against his sweat-glistened chest. Your body trembles from the copious amount of pleasure coursing through you. A gentle peck is placed on the top of your head before he looks toward the ceiling. A sense of contentment washes over him, dancing with the soft pulse of his many orgasms still reverberating through his body. After years of waiting, you are finally his, and he is determined to grant you your well-deserved peace.
Dawning a robe, you sit on your balcony, listening to the birds sing you their habitual 'good morning'. The door slides open behind you, and Suguru takes a seat, presenting you with a cup of tea. A quiet thank you leaves your lips as the two of you take in the scenery before you.
“We should probably get some sleep now, huh?” You ask, turning to him as you take a sip, smiling at the fact that he knows exactly how you take your tea. But, of course he does. It’s Suguru.
He grins, “No…I don’t want to leave this moment behind just yet.” You blush, reaching your hand out to grasp his.
“Me neither.”
In his eyes, you are precious, the most important person in his life. The deep-rooted fear of not being worthy of love is disproven in the form of Suguru’s undying loyalty to you. He has waited years to be with you, and he would have waited years more. And as the two of you sit together, with your fingers intertwined and heartbeats in sync, you know there is nowhere else you want to be…no one else you want to be with. An unfamiliar feeling of safety creeps into your chest. You’re in good hands now.
Maybe opening yourself back up to love wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.
author notes: this fic is incredibly self-serving...but i really needed this. i just want a pretty boy named suguru to save me from the heartache i feel rn ugh
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