Don't think of it as goodbye..
@koffiehuis-love
Coward
Is what he is. Joaquim couldn't face Jan, his own husband, well.. ex-husband nor could he handle the guilt of facing Lilli either. Gradually, little by little, he's felt a distance grow between them. It was a small thing at first, barley noticeable, thinking maybe it was his own imagination. Maybe he needed a brief vacation from his home life. Maybe he needed to see the waters of Portugal and rejuvenate his senses. But as time went on Joaquim felt that distance grow vast, deepening, until he felt as if he was going to drown in the monotonous of the abyss. Being with Jan he found that he was losing himself. Found that he was no longer himself. As they say, old habits die hard and Joaquim Manuel Carvalho de Silva is a habit he can't give up.
So he did the one thing unfathomable and so unlike him; he snuck behind Jan's back and filed for divorce. Without speaking. With no forewarning. It's cruel, yes. Selfish even but he feared seeing the man he spent the past 11 months of his life with would break him. He'd lose his nerve no doubt. Shatter his heart. Well, that too has been shattered the moment he signed those papers. It breaks, and still breaking even as he nervously knocks on Jan's door
