Hi, guys. I haven't posted in a few weeks. Lately, I haven't been feeling well because of bad things that have happened in the last year. I feel sad and lonely all the time. I don't feel happy on this main blog. For the past three years, I've gotten encouragement to commit suicide, death threats, and rape threats. The vitriol has increased in the past year, and I don't feel comfortable dealing with that, especially when I struggle with bad thoughts about myself regularly. I have confessed to having suicidal thoughts in the past few weeks and being lonely and trying to reach out, but nothing has worked. I still feel isolated and unwanted. I am currently not doing well physically or emotionally. More so, I feel like I'm not that positive of a person to be around and people are only hurt by me. I doubt I can post anything of value on this blog anymore. I don't really produce anything that substantial. It was just sort of something I did to look at fandom stuff. I never really intended to be that actively involved.
However, I am really, really sorry for any pain I've caused. I try really hard not to cause trouble or make others feel bad, but I'm not always successful, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I know that I'm not that great of a person and I'm not fun to be around. I have trouble speaking with other people and maintaining friendships because I get nervous and shaky. I have tried to keep a positive and light-hearted atmosphere at times, but I'm not very good at it because I feel sad all the time. I regret any bad feelings I have caused because of my lack of forethought in any situations. I understand why people would be mad at me for several reasons. I have often been careless or irrational. I really wanted my blog to be fun, and I didn't want to hurt anybody.
I don't want to delete this blog, but I don't think I will be that active on my main anymore. I feel like it's for the best for everyone. I feel like my continued presence is more toxic and burdensome than anything of value.
Thanks. Stay safe.












