π« soulmate au: you and your soulmate have matching tattoos on the same place on your body π«
wordcount: 12.5k
author's note: did you guys miss me?? i know, i know, i vanished without a trace for a long time. but i'm back now, at least for the time being. a bunch of stuff happened in my absence and i feel like a stronger writer now, so here i am with a new fic for you all. i still love my squid game girls and i have a TONNN of ideas for fics so hopefully i'll be posting pretty often for a while! iβm so sorry for my disappearance! i experienced major writerβs block for the longest time, but iβve managed to break through it now. hereβs an extra long fic for you all as an apology! as a bonus, itβs a soulmate fic, because my last one was really well received. and also, this is going to be my first ever three-parter! sorry about any typos, proofreading was kind of rushed on this one!
the fanfic you are about to read is a culmination of 8 months of on and off work.
"11% of people never meet their soulmate in their entire life."
those words had been burned into your mind ever since the first time you heard them. the thought that a tenth of the global population would never experience true love was heartbreaking.
most people met their soulmates early on in life. the universe liked to place people together so that the couples who were meant to be together would find each other and spend their lives together. you had seen dozens of couples meet in public for the first time and melt into each other as their anxiety was soothed. for many people, it was like finding a part of you which was missing.
but, for you, the universe apparently forgot to play matchmaker. in your age group, 79% of people had already found their soulmates. that left you in the lonely 21% of people who were drifting through life without a true purpose.
you felt incomplete.
you sighed and sat up from your desk, closing your laptop for now. you had been doomscrolling for several hours at this point, trying to distract yourself from the aforementioned lack of a soulmate.
you pulled your sleeve up, looking down at your forearm where your soulmate tattoo -- most commonly referred to as a βsoulmarkβ -- sat. this was the only proof you had that your soulmate was out there somewhere -- three shapes etched onto your arm.
γβ³β‘
every person was born with a soulmark somewhere on their body, and the person who had a matching soulmark was your soulmate. that was how the universe decided to announce who should be together. scholars and soulmate analysts have debated about the meaning behind this system for centuries. some argued that it was a metaphor for true love being a work of art. others said it was to demonstrate that love is permanent, just like the soulmarks. the more nihilistic analysts said there was no deeper meaning to it at all.
you weren't really sure what you believed. your soulmark was just... there. you had looked for an explanation for what it could mean for years, but nobody knew. yours was strange. where others had things like hearts, animals, mini maps, foods -- the luckier people had their soulmate's initials or even full name -- you were stuck with three stupid shapes.
a circle, a triangle, and a square. all hollow, with a thick border. each shape was about one inch wide.
you gave up looking for the meaning a while ago. you figured if it was something important, the universe would figure out a way to tell you eventually.
you were part of the group of people that hid their soulmarks out in public. not out of any sense of shame -- realistically, what was shameful about some shapes -- but just because you didn't want people analyzing you to see if you were their soulmate.
you didn't really pay much mind to other people's soulmarks either, though. it was exhausting staring down every stranger, desperately hoping that they would be the one.
your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. you pulled your sleeve back down and pulled the phone out, looking at the notification.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
1 new message
"i'm boarding the plane now"
-
a pang of excitement ran through your chest as you read the message. you and your best friend sae-byeok had been planning to meet up in person for months, and now the meetup date was just a day away.
you met sae-byeok online, and the two of you hit it off immediately. despite her quiet and reserved nature, you had managed to form a strong bond with her. you still found her intimidating from time to time, but you had grown to trust her deeply.Β
there was something about her voice when you were on call with her that you found very appealing. although she had never outright said it, you knew she must feel the same way; she had taken a quick liking to you and you texted each other all the time, and called late at night as much as possible.
you texted her back with a quick "fly safe, see you soon!", which she reacted to with an explosion emoji, insinuating that your well wishes were going to cause her plane to crash.
your schedules had finally aligned and allowed a meetup, something you had been looking forward to ever since you planned it out. the thought of spending a week with your best friend had been taking over your mind to such a degree that you forgot about the whole soulmate issue for days at a time.
your plan was perfect -- she would fly into the closest airport late at night, stay in a nearby hotel, and then take an uber to your residence. there was nothing that could get in the way anymore. it didn't matter if a meteor hit the earth or if the whole sky lit on fire; nothing was going to stop you from finally seeing your best friend.
shutting your phone off and sinking down into your bed, you thought back to the conversations you and sae-byeok had over the years. you talked about a lot of things. both of you vented to each other, had serious and meaningful conversations, and learned a lot from one another. sae-byeok was a highly intelligent person, and whenever you were spiraling into anxiety, she was the first person you went to.
of course, the topic of soulmates had come up several times during your talks. sae-byeok saw the soulmark system as poetic, she had explained to you that she found soulmarks to be a physical representation of the love two people hold for each other; no matter what, nothing can ever change it. for this reason, she was very secretive of her soulmark and didn't show it to anyone, just like you. in fact, she hadn't given you any information on her soulmark at all.
you weren't sure if it was agreement with her philosophy, a strange desire to be like her, or something else, but after that conversation with her, you went out and bought a pair of long fingerless gloves that covered your arms. you felt more comfortable in public while wearing them, so why not?
you checked the time. 10:37 pm. sae-byeok's flight would land in around 3 hours. you wanted to talk to her again tonight before you met up with her, but you hadn't slept well last night due to the anxiety that comes with meeting someone you look up to. you decided that the most logical thing to do would be to take a nap until she landed and talk to her then.
you padded out to the living room and laid down on the couch, flicking on the tv and putting a random soulmate documentary on for background noise. you half-tried to pay attention, but you soon found yourself drifting off to the calming sound of the narrator's voice:
"in today's modern society, soulmates are one of the only constants left in this world. no matter what happens, we can know for certain that our soulmate is the person we can rely on. but, what happens if that bond is broken? it's rare, but there have been cases of unrequited feelings between soulmates..."
---
you woke up a few hours later to your alarm going off in your pocket. you blearily pushed yourself upright, checking the time. 1:15 am. sae-byeok's flight should be landing in just a few minutes. you sent a "checking in!" text to her, which received no response, likely due to her still being several thousand feet in the sky.
the tv quickly stole your attention. the soulmate documentary you put on had long since finished, and now the tv was playing a ten-hour stock video of a beach.
"it's winter," you muttered under your breath as you switched the tv off. the last thing you needed right now was to look at pleasant scenes which were still months away from being possible. all the beaches near you were currently ghost towns due to the weather.
you settled on absentmindedly scrolling through a soulmate forum online while you waited for sae-byeok to land.
you were halfway through a comment thread where two people were arguing over something about soulmarks, or something along those lines -- you weren't really even paying attention to the topic -- when you received a text from your favorite contact.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
1 new message
"touchdown"
-
you and sae-byeok quickly started texting back and forth, as you always did. it wasn't like she was in a rush; she had always liked to wait for crowds to die down before she made her move. this applied to everything: restaurants, online conversations, movies, and now airplane deboarding.
-
-y/n-
looks like your plane didn't crash after all
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
it almost did, thanks to you
-y/n-
yeah yeah
sorry not sorry π
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
you're going to be the death of me
-
you couldn't help but smile at the banter you and her shared. for such a serious and reserved person, the fact that she was comfortable and willing to do this with you told you a lot about how she feels about you.
-
-y/n-
that's my goal!
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
you're impossible
hey, most of the people cleared out. i'm going to take this chance
i'll text you once i get on the bus to the hotel
-y/n-
okay
be safe
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
the other people are the ones who need to be safe around me
-y/n-
that's true
read 1:22 am
-
you knew sae-byeok was more than capable of handling herself. she'd told you about fights she'd been in, and how she either won or managed to get away with only mild injuries. still, you couldn't help but worry about her.
you werenβt sure what you would do with yourself if something happened to her.
sae-byeok worried about you too, though she did a better job at hiding it. she knew you struggled with anxiety and was always there to talk you down from an episode and comfort you at a moment's notice. there was one time when she was at work and your mind started moving a mile a minute. you texted her, as you didn't know what else to do, and she was calling you within seconds. she stayed on that call with you for half an hour. she told you later that her boss wasn't happy about it, but she made it clear to them that you were her priority in situations like that.
she really took good care of you. you tried to do the same for her as best as possible -- something she's told you that she appreciates.
one thing you noticed about sae-byeok was that when she takes a liking to a person, she isn't shy about it. she never ghosted you and she texted you all the time. once you managed to break through the cold and calculating outer shell, she was actually a very sweet person.
you could think about her for hours. something about the thought of her made your mind all fuzzy.
the sound of a text notification broke through your thoughts. you shook your head to clear it and started texting with your best friend again.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
on the bus now
there's exactly one other person on it and they're asleep
-y/n-
i relate to that person
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
why?
-y/n-
no idea
i didn't get that far yet
read 1:39 am
-
there was a brief pause. the texting bubble briefly popped up a few times before vanishing. you smiled, knowing sae-byeok was most likely quietly laughing and rolling her eyes at your antics -- something she does a lot.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
you're ridiculousΒ
-y/n-
i know :)
read 1:41 am
-
a few minutes passed without a response. you assumed she was looking out the window on the bus or something. you went back to that comment thread with the angry people, wanting to figure out what all the fuss was about.
it took a couple re-reads, but you determined the two commenters were arguing about the implications of being assigned a partner from birth. one of the commenters was adamant that forced love wasn't true love. you didn't know about that. in your opinion, the soulmate system was very convenient. it saved the hassle of being with the wrong person and allowed you to connect with somebody in a meaningful way.
hypothetically, that is. you would need to actually meet your soulmate first, a task which was seeming more and more herculean by the day.
maybe you could learn to live without a soulmate. having a life devoid of true meaning wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, would it?
your phone went off again. you quickly switched back to the text conversation with sae-byeok.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
i can't wait to see you.
-
the message warmed your heart. she had a tendency to send heartfelt messages out of the blue. she was so used to hiding her emotions that she liked to take the chance to say her feelings without any restrictions from time to time to a person she trusted. you felt lucky that person was you.
-
-y/n-
you too.
i've been looking forward to it all week
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
so have i
i'm really happy i met you.
-y/n-
awwww she likes me
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
i try to compliment you and you make fun of me
-y/n-
no i'm only messing around
you genuinely mean a lot to me
thank you for letting me get to know you
+1 reaction - β€οΈ
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
the bus just got to the hotel
i'll let you know once i'm in my room
-y/n-
sounds good :)
read 1:54 am
-
you loved these kinds of moments between the two of you -- the times where you would exchange genuine feelings from time to time, for no reason other than that you could. it was a testament to how strong your relationship with your best friend had gotten.
it made you happy that sae-byeok had grown comfortable enough to send random heartfelt messages to you. every so often, you would receive a "thank you for being my friend" or a "you mean the world to me". those kinds of texts were the highlight of your day. you made it a point to send her those kinds of messages in return, especially on days where it seemed like she needed to hear it.
you stood up and headed over to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water. you used to drink a lot of soda, until sae-byeok found out and chided you for being unhealthy. you started drinking more water after that, and it helped a bit. yet again, another example of sae-byeok casually improving your quality of life.
your phone went off again, and you swiftly looked at the message.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
i'm in my room now
check-in was a breeze
-y/n-
glad to hear it!
do you wanna call for a bit?
no worries if you're too tired, you had a long day
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
i'm never too tired to listen to your voice
-
that line made you blush a bit. she was always so nice to you.
you pressed the "call" button, and soon enough, you were connected on a call with your best friend, as you had been so many times before.
-
"hi," you said, suddenly nervous about talking to her.
"god, i've missed that voice," she replied. "say something else."
you used your free hand to instinctively cover your face to hide the effects her flattery was having on you, even though there was nobody to hide it from.
"you can't just talk to me like that," you objected. you could practically feel her smirking through the phone.
"fine then, i'll stop," she said, setting you into a slight panic.
"wait no i like it please compliment me more," you quickly said, backpedaling at the slightest pushback.
"that's what i thought," she said contentedly. you shook your head in mock disbelief. a brief silence fell over the two of you before you spoke.
"i've missed you," you said quietly.
"you talk to me every day," she responded, slightly confused. you tried to think of how you could explain what you meant.
"not like that. i- i don't know. it's just that we're going to meet up in less than 12 hours. and something in me feels like it should have happened way sooner, for some reason."
sae-byeok was quiet for a moment. you were about to ask if she was still there when she spoke.
"i've been feeling the same way," she admitted. "i'm really grateful i met you. i really can't wait to see you in person after all this time."
a warmth spread through your chest as she talked to you. you heard her tone change slightly as she spoke, a telltale sign that she was speaking from her heart which youβd learned to pick up on.
you and sae-byeok ended up talking for two hours. the time seemed to fly by when you spoke to each other. you would have talked for longer, but she noticed that her clock read 4:15 am and she decided that you both needed to sleep if you wanted to have enough energy for the meetup.
you both said your goodbyes and hung up. as soon as you were no longer graced by her presence, you felt exhaustion begin to set in. you shut off all the lights in the house and headed to your room, collapsing onto your bed. you sent sae-byeok a "good night <3" text and shut your phone off, allowing the allure of sleep to catch up to you within minutes.
---
you find yourself wandering through a forest in autumn. the trees around you are filled with brilliant colors -- green, yellow, red, orange... itβs stunning. you knew nature could be gorgeous, but this? this was something else. all around you, it appeared like the colors were brighter than you ever thought possible.
~blink~
suddenly, youβre transported to a rolling meadow. the sky above you is basked in a radiant blue haze. clouds pass by overhead. you lie down in the grass and observe the passage of nature. in the distance, you heard bird calls and the far sound of rushing water. itβs peaceful here.
overhead, the clouds begin to change shape. youβve done this kind of thing before, and you start looking to see what images the clouds show you.
your serenity fades away when every single cloud that passes by is a circle, a triangle, or a square. they fill the air like a flock of birds soaring high overhead, traveling to a destination far from this place.
~blink~
the clouds have begun to rain now, dropping a downpour of water upon your cherished meadow. the ground beneath you quickly turns to mud, and the water soaks into your clothes. you rush to stand up and begin moving, trying your best to get to some semblance of cover. in your haste, you trip over your own feet and land in the mud, catching yourself with your hands.
the water doesnβt stop. in fact, it begins raining harder now, like some cosmic entity decided to open the floodgates. the wind begins to howl through trees that arenβt there, forcing you to cover your face to avoid being bombarded by flying grass and water. the rumble of thunder -- a sign of an angry sky -- begins to echo across the land.
internally, your once-calm mental state has transformed into anxiety and survival instinct. you need to seek shelter.
~blink~
youβre surrounded by decaying trees, with the wind ripping twigs and dead leaves off their branches and sending them tumbling down. below you, the grass is dying too, the trees having choked out all the sunlight. lightning cracks overhead, though no rain falls through the dense branches.
you make your way over to one of the trees which are devoid of life, resting against it. your heart still races from the meadow, but at least youβve managed to find some semblance of safety. you cast your gaze to the sky, looking towards the clouds. the shapes are gone now, all you can see are the upset grey clouds that threaten to cast their rage down upon the landscape.
~blink~
rose bushes have sprouted from the earth, the only life which hasnβt succumbed to decay. you steady your breathing and approach one, looking through its leaves. the flowers are a bright red, serving as a perfect contrast to the backdrop of green. you reach your hand out to pick a flower.
~blink~
your vision is blurred, as though you had been crying. you feel the pinprick of pain that comes from the thorns of rose bushes. you look down at your hands to inspect the damage, but you canβt see through the distortion. your heart races, and your mind follows suit. the gift of sight becomes even more difficult to make use of, as the tears begin to fall once more.
~blink~
nature has heard your anguish, and it responds with its own. you feel liquid begin to rain down upon you, and you hear the sound of water running through the trees. the next second, youβve collapsed onto the ground, unable to support yourself any longer.
you wipe your eyes, allowing you to see for a brief second. the raindrops falling around you are red. the air smells of iron. this isnβt any normal rain. the sky has begun to let down blood. it splashes onto your hands, your skin, your clothes, your hair.
you close your eyes to escape from it all. images of growing roses fill your vision.
~blink~
this blood that surrounds you isnβt regular blood.
itβs yours.
---
the sound of your alarm abruptly woke you up. you lurched forward, sitting upright. your heart raced -- the details of the dream you just had were fuzzy, but you remembered enough to wish that you didnβt remember any of it. you shut your alarm off and sat back on your bed, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.
βiβm safe,β you told yourself.
slowly, over the course of the next few minutes, you managed to calm your mind. you rarely had nightmares -- in fact, you rarely remembered your dreams at all -- so things like this were something you werenβt used to. plus, having your own blood rain down upon you is something that would negatively affect almost anyone.
the sound of your phone receiving a text message snapped you back into reality. seeing the text was from sae-byeok, all your concerns faded away. you remembered what day it was and your feelings were quickly replaced with excitement -- there was only a mild hint of anxiety.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
good morning
-y/n-
morning!
howβd you sleep?
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
i slept fine, aside from the kids that were keeping me up all night
-y/n-
oh no.. what happened? :(Β
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
iβm pretty sure they were playing the βrun down the hall as fast as you can and slam into the wallβ game
because thatβs what it sounded like
and it didnβt stop until 6 am
-
you had to suppress a giggle at her nonchalant explanation. even so, you did feel for her, especially since she had a long day yesterday and didnβt fall asleep until late at night.
-
-y/n-
sorry to hear that
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
itβs fine, iβm used to having minimal sleep
+1 reaction - π
how about you? sleep well?
-y/n-
had a bad dream
other than that, it was fine
-
calling it a βbad dreamβ was a bit of an understatement, but you didnβt want to make sae-byeok worry about you. besides, itβs not like the dream actually meant anything.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
sounds like we both had an exciting night
-y/n-
i guess so...
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
itβs fine though
i finally get to see you. i donβt care about anything else
-y/n-
same here
when are you coming over?
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
as soon as i get ready
i should be there in about 2 hours, if that works for you
-
it absolutely worked for you. the sooner you could see her, the better.
-
-y/n-
sure thing!
+1 reaction - π
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
okay, see you soon
-y/n-
okiiiiiii!
+1 reaction - β₯οΈ
-
if sae-byeok was coming over that soon, that meant you had to get ready right now. you hopped out of bed and put together a casual but still cute outfit, then headed over to the bathroom for a shower.
turning the water on, your memories of the dream came flooding back. the way the rain began falling, then turning to your own blood. the mental image of blood dripping down your neck wasnβt particularly pleasant. you pushed past it and got in the shower, trying to ignore the way your mind insisted on thinking about the dream.
after having the fastest shower of your life, you dried off and changed into the outfit you prepared, then made your way to the kitchen. you threw together a quick meal -- a bowl of cereal and a banana, nothing special -- and then headed for the couch to watch something in order to pass the time while you waited for your hair to dry and for sae-byeok to arrive.
flicking on the tv for the ten millionth time, you scrolled through your options of what to watch. something caught your eye and you read the description.
-
βlove at last sight: what happens if your soulmate rejects you?β
βsoulmates are said to be an instrumental part of the universe, and some even say soulmates contribute to the meaning of life. for the overwhelming majority of people, finding their soulmate is the happiest moment of their life. for a very small section of the population, however, finding their soulmate can be the worst thing to happen to them. in rare cases, it can even be fatal. join us on this journey into the physical and mental effects of the soulmate system and what happens when it fails.β
-
soulmate rejection? you hadnβt even thought of the possibility. for your whole life, you had imagined and fantasized about the magical moment of finding your soulmate -- a fantasy which was growing more desperate for each year that your soulmate didnβt come into your life.Β Β
you vaguely remembered the documentary last night mentioning something like this too. curious, you turned the program on and watched. the narrator talked about historical cases where a soulmate pair found each other, but they didnβt go into much detail about what actually happened between them. annoyed at being clickbaited, you shut the tv off and opted to let your mind wander instead.
about ten minutes later, your phone received a text message. you came back to reality and took your phone out, already knowing who it was from.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
iβm on my way now, the uber just got here
should be there soon
-y/n-
okay! iβm excited
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
me too
-y/n-
have a safe ride over
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
you donβt need to worry about me
-y/n-
see you soon!!
+1 reaction - β₯οΈ
-
you had already checked the distance to the hotel from your location and you knew it should take about 20 minutes for her to get here. the two of you hadnβt exactly worked out what you were going to do once she did arrive, but you figured you could just wing it. you and sae-byeok were close enough that it probably didnβt matter, and she didnβt seem like the kind of person who would enjoy having an itinerary for what was supposed to be a casual meetup anyway.
you stood up and headed to the bathroom in order to adjust your appearance in the mirror. normally, you wouldnβt do something like that, but for some reason you felt compelled to before sae-byeok showed up. you spent a few minutes messing around with your hair, trying to make it perfect (or, as close to perfect as possible). once you were satisfied, you went to your bedroom and picked up your fingerless gloves, slipping them on.
you werenβt sure why, but the concept of sae-byeok seeing your soulmark sparked anxiety within you. she would understand, right? a lot of people choose to keep their soulmark confidential. after all, she hadnβt shown you hers, either. plus, you didnβt really want to look at your soulmark right now anyway, not after the dream last night with the clouds that took on the shapes that are permanently inked into your skin.
the faster you could forget that dream entirely, the better.
satisfied with how youβd be presenting yourself, you headed back to the living room and sat down on the couch again, aimlessly browsing the internet while you waited for sae-byeok to arrive.
---
it should be criminal how effectively the internet manages to pass the time. it only felt like a few seconds had passed, and yet your phone was telling you that sae-byeok would be here any time now.
as though she was reading your mind, you received a text from her.
-
β¨ kang sae-byeok β¨
almost there!
-y/n-
ahhhhh
so excited!
+1 reaction - β₯οΈ
-
anticipation and anxiety filled your body. you were just a minute or two away from meeting your best friend. there wasnβt anything you could do now but be ready.
right on cue, you heard the sound of a car pulling into your driveway. you stood up and headed over to the front door, camping out behind it for when sae-byeok knocked. outside, you heard the sound of a car door closing and then footsteps approaching. you had to bite back a grin as the excitement of meeting your friend threatened to take over your facial expression.
~knock knock knock~
you waited a second before answering the door, in order to make it seem like you werenβt just standing at the door waiting for her to show up. you pulled the door open and you were greeted by a beautiful sight.
kang sae-byeok stood before you. you immediately took in her build. everything about her seemed so perfect to you. what you found most captivating were her chocolate-brown eyes which appeared to stare directly into your soul.
βhi,β you breathed out, your words getting caught in your throat.
βhey,β sae-byeok said in return, pretending not to notice your reaction to her presence.
before you could react, she pulled you into a hug, her arms wrapping around you. you hesitated for a moment before realizing your best friend of several years was hugging you and you quickly threw your arms around her shoulders, pulling her against you.
you two stayed like that for a minute, basking in each otherβs presence. you were so happy you could cry. you had been looking forward to this for months, and now it was happening. you buried your face in her neck, holding onto her as though she would vanish if you let go.
eventually, after a solid minute of non-verbal physical contact, you slowly let go of each other. sae-byeokβs nonchalant way of presenting herself had crumbled; she was smiling.
βhow have you been?β sae-byeok asked, a question that you would ask if you saw each other every day.
βthatβs your first question??β you said incredulously, eliciting a laugh from your best friend. βcome on in.β
βthanks,β she replied, stepping inside. even the way she carried herself was captivating -- she walked with grace and confidence at the same time. βnice place, by the way. it suits you.β
sae-byeok was looking around at your residence, of which you had taken great care to make presentable for her. you silently thanked yourself for your foresight.
βthank you!β you said, one compliment from her being enough to lift your spirits through the stratosphere.
your gaze was cast upon sae-byeok once again. she was wearing a casual outfit -- a plain t-shirt, with a long-sleeve denim jacket over it. she also had on grey athletic pants. you noticed she was also wearing a pair of fingerless gloves, just like you.
βyour outfit is cute,β you said, your words turning into a mumble halfway through as you second-guessed yourself. sae-byeok snapped her vision to you, surprised at the compliment. the slightest blush rose to her face.
βthanks. but have you seen yourself? yours is adorable,β she said, with much more confidence than you had. her kind words brought warmth to your heart and also flustered you at the same time, of which she took note of.
βstop it,β you protested, her flattery being much more effective on you than usual now that you were face to face with her. she always did this kind of thing online, as did you -- but now that she was standing just a foot or two away from you, her words seemed to be much more potent. the reason for this escaped you.
sae-byeok only gave a satisfied hum in response. after composing yourself, you offered to show her around your residence -- if she was going to be staying here, she ought to know her way around. she agreed, so you started giving her a tour.Β
as you showed your best friend around, you silently thanked yourself a thousand times for having put in the effort to clean your place up. if she had seen the usual state you kept your residence in, you probably would have dropped dead from embarrassment right then and there.
eventually, the two of you wound up at your room. you pushed the door open and stepped inside, sae-byeok trailing behind you. she took in the sight, certainly taking mental notes as always.
βso this is where iβll be staying...β sae-byeok said, looking around. this caught you off guard, and you tried to respond, but you were only able to produce a confused mix of sounds that would probably attract baby eagles to your location long before any person registered it as speech. this got a giggle out of sae-byeok -- the sound immediately setting your heart ablaze with warmth. after a moment, she decided to spare you. βjust kidding. but seriously, i do need a place to sleep, and i didnβt see a guest room.β
your thoughts about the meet-up hadnβt gotten that far yet. you indeed didnβt have a guest room, and it didnβt sit right with you to make her sleep on the couch. suddenly, a reminder hit your mind, and you took her over to your closet, opening it.
βi think...β you said, searching through the many boxes, βitβs in here somewhere.β you made no effort to communicate to her what exactly it was that you were searching for, leaving her watching over your shoulder like a wraith.
βwhat exactly are you looking for?β she asked, taking a step closer, leaving almost no distance between the two of you. her presence filled your mind with static momentarily. before you could answer her, you finally found what you were looking for. you took a step inside to grab the box, proudly turning and presenting her with an air mattress.
her eyes flicked down to inspect it. βi see,β she said, a smirk forming on her lips as you took a step forward. βis this you coming out of the closet?β
a heat rushed to your face immediately, and you stumbled over your words. βwhat-- no!! i was, just, i-β
βrelax,β sae-byeok said, suppressing a giggle. βiβm only messing with you.β
βugh, forget you,β you whined playfully, pretending to be upset. to be even more dramatic, you turned to put the air mattress away, only to find that you were no longer holding the box. βwhat the-β
βlooking for something?β sae-byeokβs voice made you turn, and you saw her holding the box as though she had always had it. you briefly considered that she might in fact be a witch if sheβs able to make objects teleport around.
βhow did you... whaaaat...β you closed the closet, turning to face your best friend.Β
βremember, i used to be a street thief,β she reminded you. thatβs right, you remembered now. she told you about her upbringing, and what she had to do in order to support herself. thankfully, all of that is behind her now, but evidently she never let go of her unique skillset.
βright, iβll keep it in mind,β you said, knowing full well that you would not, in fact, be keeping it in mind. βanyway, in all seriousness, i donβt have a guest room, and i donβt want to make you sleep on the couch, so. you can have the air mattress if you want, and sleep in my room as well. only if you want to, though.β you tried to play it cool, but for some reason, this proposition induced a feeling of anxiety within you.Β
βyeah, that should work,β she replied, and you quickly realized you never had a reason to be worried.
βalright, cool,β you replied. the thought of sae-byeok trusting you enough to sleep in the same room as you made you really happy for an unknown reason. in any case, you certainly werenβt going to complain.
sae-byeok set the box down on the ground for later, and then turned to face you. your room was the last stop on the tour, and now that sheβd seen it, she was familiar with your entire residence now. as the host, this left you with the responsibility of figuring out what the two of you would be doing next.
βso, youβve seen everything,β you started. your best friend nodded in agreement. βwe have a lot to catch up on, iβm sure... wanna just sit and talk for a while?β
sae-byeok gave a subtle nod. βthat works for me.β
you sat down on your bed, sae-byeok sitting down next to you. immediately, her proximity brought back that same feeling of static as before; you simply tried your best to ignore it. quickly, the two of you fell into the same banter and conversation that you had over the years online. talking with her had always come to you a lot more naturally than talking with others, and evidently that held true while in person.
the two of you talked about lots of things, switching topics quickly as you normally did during lighter conversations. anecdotes that had certainly been shared before, her travel to get here, mild frustrations you both had with the world, and whatever else came to mind. as always, though, your conversation gradually drifted towards deeper meanings, and you both slowly got into a more serious mindset.
this sort of thing was a constant among your conversations which went on for a sufficiently long time. once, you had spent around 5 hours discussing the nature of suffering. another time, an analysis of religion. any heavy topic was fair game. it was nice to get to know her in this way, and she was really the only person you felt comfortable being so open with, anyway.
βoh, there was a forum thread on the internet i was reading...β you said, remembering the angry people in your phone. while their comments -- and, really, the wider internet in general -- were a bit too brutish for your tastes, you had to admit that they both had good points -- and you wanted sae-byeokβs opinion on the matter. the two of you had done plenty of discussions about soulmates in the past, after all, so it wasnβt exactly a new topic.
βhm, whatβs up?β sae-byeok quietly pushed herself to sit more upright, sensing the tone shift immediately. she cast her gaze towards you, then down to your hand as you pulled out your phone.
βi was trying to kill time, and i saw these people arguing about the nature of soulmates. one of them had an interesting perspective on it, and i was wondering your thoughts on it.β you pulled up your browser history and navigated to the thread, which had doubled in length since you last looked at it. apparently, the two of them had been busy.
βsure, let me have a look.β sae-byeok took the phone from you and began reading.
---
Β» fatebound
- the internetβs #1 soulmate discussion board! -
user topic: soulmates exist, but are they real?
posted 3 days ago by user: destiny29
548 replies, active 17 minutes ago
~
[#1] destiny29: i recently came across a poll on twitter that really got me thinking, and i think iβve finally been able to collect my thoughts on the matter enough to draft them and put them out there. who knows, maybe it will help someone? ;)
anyway, here we go. so, we all know the soulmate system, right? your soul is linked with another person from birth, and eventually, in an ideal world, youβll meet this person and spend the rest of your life with them. and that sounds all fine and great, until you think deeper on it. i mean, arenβt there ethical concerns here? being /forced/ to spend your life with one specific person -- a stranger, in most cases, even. that sounds kind of nightmarish when you really start thinking about it. at least, thatβs what one of the options on the poll said. truth be told, i donβt really believe that. i kind of donβt believe in fate itself, anyway, but that will be a topic for another thread.
basically, my counterargument for the whole βyouβre forced to spend your life with a person you statistically donβt knowβ thing is that. is that really true? i mean, historical cases aside, letβs look at the raw data from the harvard soulmate census from 2024. 57% of respondents said they knew their soulmates before making the discovery. sure, that leaves 43% of people meeting someone for the first time, but we really have to dig into it here, because. think about it. /everybody/ is a random person to you at first. you people donβt know me, for example. hell, i havenβt found my own soulmate yet, so who knows, maybe someone reading this thread is my soulmate. if you have a soulmark of an ice cream cone with wings and a halo, hit my dms up, lol. anyway, everyone meets new people all the time. realistically, most new people come into your life from previous connections, be it from a friend, through work, school, whatever. itβs very rare you meet someone that you have literally nothing in common with. even like, walking up to someone on a desolate hiking trail, you can at least be like: βhey, so that tree over there is cool, huh?β
i dunno. i might not be making a lot of sense. let me try to tie this into my main point. you know that theory that anyone can be connected to another person anywhere on the planet in 6 steps or less? itβs called βsix degrees of separationβ, i linked a video to it, if you havenβt heard of it. anyway. my point is basically, i donβt think people who believe the soulmate lottery is forcing really see the full scope of things. even if you live in canada and your soulmate lives in india or something, iβm willing to bet actual money that you and them have at least one thing in common. after all, you gotta meet them /somehow/, right?
iβd be interested to hear other peopleβs thoughts on this. i always love me a good conversation :)
[#2] string_theory72: what a brainwashed perspective, my god. you cannot look me dead in the eyes and tell me that youβre okay with being literally assigned like cattle to another person. sucks to suck if you want to be with someone who isnβt your soulmate, because thatβs not allowed. iβve been saying this for years. the soulmate system sucks worse than capitalism
[#3] destiny29: i mean, i can definitely see where youβre coming from. however, i donβt agree with you (obviously), and hereβs why. i think my argument can be summed up into 2 sentences: i donβt think being marked to be with another person is a bad thing, for the simple reason that the overwhelming majority of people are extremely satisfied with their soulmates. and, regarding loving others, again, your soulmate is the best possible person for you (at least in theory) so i donβt think that applies -- if you were meant to love that person, you would be assigned to them. thanks for the reply, by the way! basically, i kind of have three questions for you.Β
1. have you found your soulmate yet? (just curious on this one, tbh)
2. how do you respond to the fact that the presence of your soulmate has been scientifically shown to significantly aid in the recovery of mental and even physical ailments?
3. fundamentally, why are you against the idea of being βassignedβ to be with another person?
cheers :)
[#4] string_theory72: itβs not looking good for you man. normally i wouldnβt, but fine, iβll bite. first, your idiotic claim about βthe majority are happy with their soulmatesβ. so are you just saying βfuck youβ to the people who are unhappy with their soulmates or like whatβs that about. also itβs bullshit and you know it that we as humans literally donβt get the freedom of choice as to who we literally spend our lives with
i can already tell where your questions are going but whatever. no, i havenβt found my soulmate, and i intend to keep it that way. people will know what my soulmark is when i die. as for your recovery thing. sure whatever soulmate presence has been shown to be therapeutic, thatβs literally just how human relations work jackass. you are literally describing what therapy does. the only reason it works the way it does is because people are tricked into thinking that the person with the same soulmark as them is the person theyβre βsupposedβ to form a close bond with. no fucking wonder that people form that bond and then go wide eyed at the fact that they get use out of that relationship. and for question three, you cannot be fucking serious man. if you donβt want free will, you do you i guess. personally i would like to actually get a choice as for who iβm with but i guess thatβs a stupid opinion to have according to you. in a free world, this doesnβt seem very free.
if youβre okay with literally selling your soul to the universe then good for you, leave the rest of us out of it
---
the thread spanned for an additional 500+ comments between these two people, and from looking at the activity marker, it appeared to still be active. sae-byeok didn't read beyond the first couple of comments, seeming to have already formed her own opinion on the matter.
βi mostly agree with destiny,β she said. βpersonally, i find the soulmate system to be an objective way to navigate something that would otherwise be messy and entirely too complicated for my tastes. and also, like string theory said, you donβt necessarily have to engage with it if you donβt want to. there have been cases, albeit rare, that people settle down with a person who isnβt their soulmate, so... itβs just that the large majority of people find it to be fulfilling, and have meaning, and all.β
her mini speech stunned you into a brief silence. she had managed to form an opinion and articulate it so well, that fast? you had to read up to post #250 something in order to reach your own conclusion.
βwhat about you?β she asked, breaking you out of your chain of thought. βwhat are your opinions on it?β
you took a moment to think about it.
βi donβt really think about the deeper meaning of it too much, to be honest. i just think itβs nice that if you find your soulmate, you donβt really have to worry about being with the wrong person and all. thatβs it.β
βi had gathered as much from our previous conversations about this topic,β she replied, absentmindedly scrolling through the thread between the two people, not really even reading it. βpersonally, i would need to form a strong bond with my soulmate after meeting them before i can trust them. i guess thatβs just because of my upbringing, though. trust no one, and all.β
you nodded in agreement. while you had more faith in the fact that your soulmate was hopefully a good person, you could definitely see where she was coming from. and this definitely isnβt the kind of thing you would judge her for, anyway.
the two of you continued to talk about soulmates for a while, longer than intended, as per the status quo. as it turns out, a comment thread full of people explaining their perspectives on such a nuanced topic gave a lot of conversation starters for yourselves. it took a while, but you eventually worked through the entire thread, analyzing the arguments of both destiny29 and string_theory72. this process took several hours, which really felt more like half an hour. you and sae-byeok had a tendency to get invested in these sorts of topics, and end up talking for way longer than you should have.
not that you minded this, anyway. in truth, even though such deep conversations require you to be very open and vulnerable, times like these were also when you felt the safest, in some strange, paradoxical way.
βoh my god, is that the time?β you looked at the clock in the corner of your phone screen -- your phone which was absolutely extremely close to dying due to how long it had been on at this point. the clock read 9:38 pm.
βi guess we got carried away,β sae-byeok observed, drawing an eye-roll from you.
βobviously, genius.β you retorted, before becoming very aware of the fact that your stomach was yelling at you for food. βwow, iβm hungry. i didnβt even notice.β
sae-byeok frowned, and looked to you with concern. βi told you, you need to take care of yourself, remember?β
βare you hungry too?β you asked simply, seeing as she also had forgotten to eat.
βfair enough, i guess. want to order something, or..?β she replied, and you nodded eagerly.
βyeah, if i donβt eat soon, i might actually die,β you said, grabbing the phone back and pulling up a list of local restaurants, showing it to her. βanything look good?β
it took a few minutes for the two of you to decide on something to eat, but eventually you settled on doordashing from a local pub that sold different bar food. sae-byeok ordered one portion of bone-in barbeque wings, which was apparently her favorite kind, and a side of onion rings. meanwhile, you ordered {whatever your go-to soul food is}. you placed the order, and all that was left to do was wait for it to show up.
in the meantime, you and your best friend wandered down to the living room, since it was closer to the door, and also because there was a tv there that you could watch something on, both while waiting and while eating. you sat down on the couch, and sae-byeok sat next to you. that same static feeling came back immediately, and you continued to ignore it. out of sight, out of mind.
the two of you picked some random soulmate documentary; this time, it was about famous historical soulmate pairs. apparently, every single president of the united states and their first lady were soulmates, which you found interesting. also, cleopatra and julius caesar were soulmates as well, and their soulmark was a cobra wrapped around a wreath.Β
everyone else apparently got all the cool and interesting soulmarks, meanwhile you were stuck with your dumb shapes that didnβt even mean anything. it was stupid, but you couldnβt help but feel a little jealous.
you and your best friend quietly watched the documentary for the next 20 or so minutes, pointing out different historical cases that one of you did happen to know about. you were just about to start discussing the fact that william shakespeare and anne hathaway were soulmates, with their soulmark being two feather quills that connected at the tip. however, a sudden knock on the door interrupted your soon-to-be dialogue.
sae-byeok stood up and answered the door, collecting the food from the delivery driver. despite the fact that you had already given them a tip within the app, she handed them an additional $10 tip before they left. she had previously told you during one of your night calls that due to her being in a secure place now, as compared to where she was in the past, she liked to give people a little extra whenever the chance presented itself. in her own words, βyou never know when the difference of a few dollars could make or break someoneβs life, meanwhile itβs just pocket change to you.β
βfoodβs here!β she called out upon closing the door, bringing the bag over to you. she took out her order, and then before you could get the chance to take the bag for yourself, she reached inside and personally handed you yours as well. βfor you, madam,β she said in an overly formal voice, making you roll your eyes, though you couldnβt help being amused by her antics.
βthank you, kang sae-byeok,β you said in response, going along with it by using her full name. this seemed to catch her off guard, and she quickly looked away, which you took as a sign of defeat.
the two of you began to eat while continuing to watch the documentary. something about this situation was comforting to you, though you had no idea why. you looked up at the screen when something that caught your interest was said:
βalexander hamilton, one of the founding fathers of the usa, had a soulmate in elizabeth schuyler. for unknown reasons, he also pursued a relationship with maria reynolds during the presidency of george washington. this just goes to show that despite the soulmate system being effective, the nature of humanity is still unpredictable.β
βthese documentaries are pretty interesting, i might actually start watching them on my own as well,β sae-byeok said, bringing you back to reality once again. βhow did you find these?β
βoh, well- i just saw an advertisement for this platform, and itβs a pretty cheap subscription, so i signed up. doesnβt hurt to learn more about soulmates anyway, right?β you replied. βthe platform is called the soulmate archive, if you wanted to check it out sometime. itβs only, like, 5 dollars a month.β
βiβll definitely have a look,β your best friend replied, turning her attention back to the screen. it wasnβt a big surprise to you that she took an interest in it -- after all, these kinds of things were what she found fascinating.
a silence fell over the two of you again, with the only noises being from the tv and the sound of food wrappers. for a brief, passing moment, everything felt serene. being here in the same room as this person -- the girl youβve known for years, whoβs been by your side through it all, no matter what -- it felt like everything was right with the world. all your worries and anxieties faded away, even if just for a second. nothing could ruin this for you.
after a little while, the two of you finished your food, and the documentary came to an end as well. you took it upon yourself to clean everything up, seeing as sae-byeok was the one who answered the door and got everything out.Β
βthanks for ordering for us,β she said while you were cleaning up, causing you to smile a bit. you told her it wasnβt a problem, naturally. though, a part of you knew that she was truly grateful, more than she let on -- after all, she wasnβt exactly used to even those small gestures.
once everything was cleaned up, you sat back down with sae-byeok. immediately, that same feeling of static came back; as always, you tried to push past it. you turned to your best friend, who was now scrolling on her phone. being nosy, you tried to look over and see what she was looking at without being noticed. apparently, you did a bad job, because almost instantly, she looked over to you.
βif you want to know what iβm doing, you can just ask, you know,β she chided, and you felt a slight heat rise to your face in embarrassment.
βsorry,β you said, glancing away for a second before turning back. βwhat are you looking at, then?β
sae-byeok angled the phone screen towards you. to your surprise, she was on fatebound, that soulmate board you showed her earlier. she was on the soulmarks topic, scrolling through pictures of peopleβs soulmarks. this was a common thing that people did online -- they would post their soulmarks online, hoping that their soulmate would see it, recognize it, and contact them. due to the sheer size of the internet, you had heard stories of people meeting online by doing this. there was even an app called markr which allowed you to quickly swipe through dozens of soulmarks every few minutes, in hopes that you would see yours.
personally, you had never used any of those apps. you felt it would be better for you to meet your soulmate naturally.
βjust scrolling through fatebound. looking at soulmarks,β she told you, as though this wasnβt the most uncharacteristic thing in the entire world. you already knew her feelings about stuff like that -- she also felt that meeting someone intentionally, online, took away from the feeling of meeting your soulmate the way the universe designed.
βright... i didnβt take you to be someone who would look for their soulmate online,β you said, eliciting a small grin from her. she scrolled back up to the top of the thread, clicking on one of the pictures to make it fullscreen, showing it to you. it was a picture of somebodyβs soulmark -- a longsword, with vines twisting around the blade, and a butterfly sitting on the hilt.
βiβm not looking for my soulmate on here. i like to just look at the different soulmarks -- a lot of them are really interesting. i canβt help but wonder what they mean,β she explained, scrolling down into the comments of the sword soulmark to view the comments.
~
[#1] long_lost_nobodies: my soulmark. no idea what it means. iβve never used a sword a day in my life, nor am i a huge nature fan. thoughts?
[#2] destiny29: oh wow, this is a cool one. personally, i believe that soulmarks arenβt entirely literal for a lot of people, and itβs more so about what they represent. for instance, butterflies and plant life are often associated with peace, calm, and stability. while swords are associated with defense, strength, and bravery. maybe it represents the traits that you and your soulmate have, or maybe it represents what the theme of your relationship will be? maybe youβll have to fight alongside each other for a common goal, maybe to even meet each other, before you can have the peace of being with each other. you never know!
~
βhey, thatβs the destiny person from before,β you said, remembering them from the long debate thread. βiβm curious now, can you click on their profile?β
evidently, sae-byeok was interested as well, and she clicked on their user profile as requested.
~
destiny29
account type: site moderator
account created: 9 years ago
topics created: 1,732
comments posted: 205,739
followers: 23,845
active 12 minutes ago
description: hey, iβm destiny! just a person who likes talking about soulmates :) dms are always open for messages or anything else.
~
βthat is an obscene amount of comments,β sae-byeok said almost immediately, getting a laugh from you. βno wonder it seems like theyβre everywhere.β
βi guess theyβre dedicated to their craft,β you replied. you could kind of see the appeal of talking about the soulmate system online with strangers, but to do so to this extent? the appeal was kind of lost on you. still, though, clearly they enjoy it, and thatβs all that really matters in the end.
βthey seem really knowledgeable, actually. maybe i should ask what they think of my soulmark,β sae-byeok said, causing you to look over to her in shock. she was the most secretive person you knew when it came to soulmarks. to send it to a complete stranger would be unheard of for her.
βwhat, really? i never would have expected you to do something like that,β you said, causing her to think. βyou havenβt told anyone anything about your soulmark, ever, from what i know.β
βi know,β she said in response, looking down at her arm which was covered by the gloves. βi do kind of wonder what mine means, though. it doesnβt really leave a whole lot up for interpretation. like, at all.β
you could definitely relate to that -- yours wasnβt exactly the best and brightest, either.
βi get that. neither does mine, really,β you told her, also glancing down at your arm, covered by the gloves. βto be honest, iβve also wondered what it means, but... i donβt really think it means anything.β
a brief silence fell over the two of you.
βcan i see?β she asked suddenly, looking over at you. immediately, your heart rate increased, though you werenβt sure why. you suddenly felt really insecure about your soulmark. as if by instinct, you held your arms behind your back, even though the gloves would do just fine at hiding your soulmark on their own.
βum. i...β your voice trailed off, unsure of how to explain to your best friend why you didnβt want to show her your soulmark. this was difficult, considering you yourself didnβt know what the problem was. βiβm sorry, iβd. rather keep it private. if thatβs okay.β
sae-byeokβs expression softened. βthatβs fine, i get it. i was just curious, thatβs all.β
you nodded in understanding, feeling a degree of shame for keeping secrets from the person you trusted most in the world. you knew that it wouldnβt matter if she saw your soulmark, but the thought of actually showing it to her -- or anyone, for that matter -- made you dizzy for some reason.
βum, but. you can show me yours, if you want. i can see if i can figure out something about what it means,β you offered, trying to make up for your refusal. truly, you expected her to deny this request as well, considering how secretive she always was about it.
sae-byeok thought about it for a few seconds, which felt a lot longer than they should have. you could tell she was running a cost/benefit analysis in her mind to decide if she should show you her soulmark or not. considering that she was already hesitant to show it to a stranger on the internet, there was no way she would be willing to show it to you, especially not in-person. all you had to do was wait for her to decide to keep it secret, and you could both move past this topic which was making your head spin.
βsure,β she declared, jolting you out of your train of thought. you blinked, almost certain that you had misheard her.
βsay again?β you asked, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that your heart rate had doubled from what it was ten seconds ago.
βyeah, iβll show you. iβve known you for a long time now, and i trust you,β she said. you agreed with her logic, but the concept of seeing her soulmark made your heart race. itβs not like you had an argument against it, either -- especially not since youβre the one who offered to take a look at it.
β..okay. if youβre sure,β you said, looking her in the eyes. it was too late to back out now.
sae-byeok nodded, and slowly pulled her glove down, revealing her soulmark.
in the exact same place as yours.
with the exact same pattern as yours.
γβ³β‘
oh god.
she was your soulmate.
immediately, your mind began to race. the image of wilting flowers filled your vision. you tried to formulate words to respond to the sight, but all you managed to do was cough. your chest burned.
βy/n? are you alright?β sae-byeok asked, looking at you with concern. she pulled her glove back up, much to your relief, and put her hand on your shoulder to steady you. this made you flinch, and she withdrew her hand. βwhatβs wrong?β
βnothing-β you said, quicker than you should have. you silently kicked yourself mentally. act cool. βyour mark looks... interesting. i donβt know what it could mean.β
βsame boat as me, huh? well, i guess--β sae-byeokβs sentence was cut off by you abruptly standing up, your feet already moving without you even telling them to. βwhere are you going?β
βoh, i, uh. need to use the bathroom,β you lied, and before she could say anything else, you were already disappearing down the hallway. you needed to get away from her before you said anything else stupid. you found yourself in the bathroom, with the door locked. you pulled your glove up to confirm that what you saw was real. those same three stupid shapes looked back at you.
γβ³β‘
βgod damn it,β you hissed under your breath, quickly shoving your sleeve back up. a sudden coughing fit overtook you for a moment, and you held onto the counter for support.
βwhy? why her? of all people, why did this have to happen to us?β you thought, screaming at the void in your mind.
for most people, meeting their soulmate is the happiest moment of their life. for you, it was hell.
sae-byeok did not like you like that.
sae-byeok saw you as a good friend.
sae-byeok was straight.
she would absolutely immediately leave if she ever found out. you didnβt want to throw away your entire relationship over a soulmate mix-up. you had to keep this a secret from her at all costs.
the thought made your heart hurt. sae-byeok was your soulmate, and all you would ever be is friends. how could you go back to normalcy now that you knew?
another coughing fit overtook your body, your lungs feeling like they were squeezing you from the inside out. you used your hand to cover your mouth so as not to cough everywhere. when you removed your hand, you saw a few drops of blood in your palm.
immediately, this sent you deeper into your panic. you quickly wiped the blood away on a hand towel, staining it in the process. of all the times to be coughing up blood, this was not the best situation. it was complicated enough as it is.
you took a deep breath and tried to pull yourself together, ignoring the feeling that your lungs couldnβt quite fill all the way. you needed to make a plan, right now. maybe you could use makeup to cover up your soulmark, and draw a new one onto yourself. that would trick sae-byeok into thinking you had a different soulmark, and she wouldnβt ask about it again. everything could go back to normal, and you could forget this ever happened.
before you knew it, you had pulled the glove off to begin the cover-up process. immediately upon seeing your soulmark again, you felt woozy. you gripped onto the sink using both hands with such force that your knuckles turned white, trying your best to keep yourself stable. your body decided this was the most opportunistic time to cough again, and you didnβt trust yourself to let go of the sink, so you tried your best to angle your mouth over the basin as you coughed. more droplets of blood came out at first, followed by tiny red flower petals, fluttering calmly into the sink below.
what the hell?
unless you had eaten a rose bush during that dream last night, you had no idea what was going on. you carefully picked one up, inspecting it. it was indeed petals from a rose -- vibrant, smelling slightly of pennies and lemons, which wasnβt a pleasant combination in the slightest. you were at a loss for words. you noticed, though, that you werenβt at a loss for heart rate, as your pulse was going a mile a minute.
you needed to figure out what was going on here if you ever wanted to face sae-byeok again. if you started coughing roses all over her, she would immediately know something wasnβt right.
you did the only logical thing you could think of at the time, taking out your phone and capturing a photo of the blood and rose petals, then navigating to your web browser.
~
Β» fatebound
- the internetβs #1 soulmate discussion board! -
~
you quickly typed in βdestiny29β into the search bar, and clicked on their profile. you didnβt know what was going on, but you only started coughing up blood and flowers immediately after you saw sae-byeokβs soulmark, so you guessed it had something to do with that. destiny was clearly knowledgeable about soulmates, so if anyone would know what was going on, it was going to be them.
you clicked the βsend this user a direct messageβ button, and you were immediately hit with a βlog in or create an accountβ screen. frustrated, you groaned quietly, which instantly set off another bout of coughing, causing blood and slightly more flowers to get on your phone screen.
you created an account as quickly as you could, setting your username to βbleeding_flower37β after the current situation. you had more pressing matters at the moment than making a creative name for an online forum that you wouldnβt be using.
with your newly created account, you opened dmβs with destiny29, and began drafting a message to them, your hands shaking the entire time due to the stress and the fact you were coughing up blood.
~
bleeding_flower37: um. hi. i need your advice on something.
~
almost immediately, destiny29βs status changed to βonlineβ and the website told you they were typing back. you silently thanked the world for this.
~
destiny29: hey, havenβt seen your username before! whatβs up, what can i do for you?
bleeding_flower37: well. i saw you were active on here, and... i figured you would know something that i donβt. basically, i just found out who my soulmate is, and now iβm coughing up blood and flowers.
[one image attachment]
bleeding_flower37: please help me
~
the typing indicator appeared and disappeared several times over the course of the next few minutes, which felt like an eternity to you. you began coughing again, harder now. more blood and flowers erupted from you, dotting the floor with red. youβd clean it up later.
finally, after what felt like decades, destiny responded to you.
~
destiny29: does your soulmate love you?
~
the question made your heart sink immediately, because you knew what the answer was. suddenly, you felt extremely nauseous. you barely managed to make it to the toilet and hunched over it before you threw up into it. the air in the bathroom now smelled of that same scent of pennies and lemons. once you were done, you looked into the bowl, and saw that it was stained bright red with blood, and there were full-scale rose petals floating in the water. you hastily flushed it away, wiping your eyes clean of tears that you hadnβt even noticed beginning to fall.
~
bleeding_flower37: weβre both girls, and. sheβs straight. no. she doesnβt love me.
destiny29: do you love her?
~
this was a difficult question, but yet, all too easy at the same time. shakily, you typed out your confession which you had kept hidden from everyone for the past couple years, sharing your deepest secret with a stranger you just met.
~
bleeding_flower37: with all my heart.
~
destiny began typing again, and their next message took a long time to come through. once you received it, it was just an obscured link to a wikipedia page. confused, you were about to send them a message asking for clarification, but you decided you should probably click the link to see what it was about first before you said anything further.
another coughing fit erupted from you, causing more blood and flowers to go everywhere, covering your phone screen. you hastily wiped them away, leaving streaks of blood across the screen.
you clicked the link, and what you saw next made your entire world stop in its tracks.
there, on your blood-streaked, dying phone, was a wikipedia page, simply titled...
βhanahaki.β
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this is part one of three of my new hanahaki series!
read part two next: [if youβre reading this, part two isnβt out yet! this will be updated once itβs out!]
πβ¨ did you like this fic? if so, click here to go to my masterlist and read others like it! β¨π
this is a part two! at the end of the rainbow is part one, and while you don't need to read that one first for this one to make sense, i recommend you do for continuity purposes! β¨click here to read it!β¨
π« pt. two: soulmate au where everyone is colorblind until they meet their soulmate in-person π«
wordcount: 3.3k
author's note: thank you to @ellen0009 for inspiring this fic in the comments of the first part β¨π i tried a new style with this fic - it's a slow burn romance with switching pov's. i quite like how it turned out!! this is the end of the colorblind soulmate au series, i'll be looking for ideas for the next soulmate au for my next fics, so if you have any good ones, let me know! β¨β¨ i have big plans for an upcoming series!! i don't know when i'll get the first part out, but it will definitely have multiple parts, and i'm excited to get started on it! ππ i've talked enough, enjoy the fic my lovelies! β¨β¨
~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~
[two weeks after the events of at the end of the rainbow...]
the sound of keys being inserted into the door of your dorm room drew your attention away from your phone. you looked up as the door burst open, ji-yeong walking in in her typical fashion.
"hi y/n, se-mi," she chirped, not looking at you yet as she shut the door quite loudly.
"shh, ji-yeong," you said, gently motioning down to your lap, where your girlfriend and soulmate se-mi was fast asleep. she'd had a long day of tests in her classes and quickly drifted off while you were cuddling her.
"oops, sorry," ji-yeong said in a more hushed tone, setting her bag down on se-mi's vacant bunk - it's not like se-mi was using it at the moment. or much at all, lately. your college had a soulmate policy where if you and your soulmate were attending at the same time, you could room together, no questions asked. naturally, se-mi had moved in with you as soon as you found each other, and she spent most nights cuddled up against you instead of sleeping in her own bed.
ji-yeong sat down on se-mi's bunk and observed the two of you for a moment, tilting her head slightly as if she was pondering something. you gave her a curious look.
"what?" you asked. "you look confused by something."
"i'm not confused. you two are just cute together." she replied. "she looks so calm whenever she's with you. and now she looks like sleeping beauty." there was the slightest hint of envy in her voice.
you combed your fingers through se-mi's hair slowly, being careful not to wake your girlfriend up. "get your own soulmate," you replied almost automatically, though your tone was joking. soulmates were instinctively protective of each other, and you were no exception to that. you loved se-mi more than anything and you wouldn't let anyone or anything take her from you. you had known ji-yeong long enough that you knew she wouldn't do anything like that, though.
"one day i'll find mine," she said, staring at the wall. you felt bad for her. ever since you and se-mi found each other, you were basically inseparable, and seeing the two of you together probably wasn't doing ji-yeong any favors when it came to being single. "it's fated to happen eventually, so i figure that there's a reason it hasn't happened yet."
"i look forward to the day you do find yours," you responded, with ji-yeong absentmindedly nodding in agreement.
"yeah. me too."
a quiet silence fell over the room for a few minutes as you each got lost in your own thoughts. your attention largely turned to se-mi as you studied her breathing and appreciated her presence. she was all you needed in order to be happy.
your trance was broken by ji-yeong's voice, though you didn't process a word she said. you blinked and looked up at her.
"sorry, can you repeat that?" you asked.
"soulmate fever, huh? don't worry about it," she teased, knowing how easily you could zone out when you were with se-mi. "i said that since we don't have classes tomorrow, i was going to spend the day at the quad if you wanted to come with."
the quad is the place on campus where most of the students went to hang out when not in classes; it's essentially a huge outdoor courtyard. your college was a bit on the fancier side, so there were a lot of things to do there - there were courts for different sports, a couple take-out restaurants nearby for quick food, a good access point to the library, and more. a lot of soulmate pairs could be found with each other out there.
"i'll go if se-mi wants to as well," you told her. "though i doubt she'll have any objections, she loves it out there."
ji-yeong nodded. "it's a date, then. ah, no pun intended," she said, the look on her face telling you that the pun was absolutely intended. you playfully rolled your eyes at her and you were about to respond when you felt se-mi start waking up.
her hand found yours out of habit; you always held hands as soon as either of you woke up. she blinked a couple times and used her free hand to sit herself a bit more upright, leaning against your shoulder.
"hi," se-mi said, her speech turning into a yawn. she shook her head to clear her mind, noticing ji-yeong and giving her a small wave.
"hi, love," you said to her, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "sleep well?"
"always with you," se-mi responded, your soulmate quickly pressing her lips against yours as she stole a kiss. she pressed herself closer to you as she broke the kiss, resting her head on your shoulder.
"get a room, you two," ji-yeong said, a small grin on her face.
"you're in our room," se-mi responded, looking up at ji-yeong for a moment before her attention shifted back to you. "you aren't really giving us much of a choice," she said before nuzzling into your neck, sighing contentedly.
ji-yeong simply responded with a 'hm.' you cast your gaze down to your soulmate. it had been two weeks since your vision gained color, and while you had gotten mostly adjusted to the world's natural beauty (except for sunsets, which mesmerized you every time you and se-mi watched one), you still hadn't gotten over just how beautiful your soulmate was. her pale skin, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, and the way the light reflected off her piercings... you could stare for hours, just admiring how gorgeous she was.
"ah, now that you're awake, i have a question for you, se-mi." ji-yeong's voice broke your trance yet again. se-mi's eyes flicked over to her.
"yeah? what's up?"
"i was talking to y/n while you were asleep and she said it was up to you, so... since we don't have classes tomorrow, i was wondering if you guys wanted to go to the quad with me tomorrow." ji-yeong tilted her head at se-mi as she finished her question, waiting for her response.
"sure, sounds fun," se-mi said, happy with almost anything so long as you would be there with her. "who knows, maybe you'll find your soulmate out there."
"yeah, maybe." ji-yeong was never super talkative about the concept of her soulmate. she always tried to seem uninterested, but the undertone of wishfulness made it so that you could tell she was secretly hoping tomorrow would be the day.
"well, i'll swing by your guys' dorm once i'm up and ready," she said, standing up and grabbing her bag.
"where are you off to?" you asked. usually she stayed with you and se-mi for a while longer before leaving.
"i have homework to finish tonight," she said simply, and before you could even tell her goodbye, she had already left your dorm, leaving you and your soulmate alone. se-mi soon took the opportunity to start kissing you, which you absolutely didn't object to.
~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~
[ji-yeong's pov]
ji-yeong had lied about having homework to do. she felt a little bad, but she figured you and se-mi would appreciate the extra time alone, and she wasn't feeling too social at the moment anyway. it was always nice to see her friends, but seeing you and se-mi happily together gave her a sense of longing for her own soulmate.
she sighed as she got back to her own dorm, slipping inside and resting on her bed. everything looked so dull without color. she had asked you and se-mi to try to describe colors to her several times, but everyone knew it wasn't anything like the real thing.
"i'm so sick of everything being grey," she muttered to herself, looking around at her dorm room. she could only imagine what life would look like once she found her soulmate.
ji-yeong decided that basking in lonely thoughts wasn't particularly helping her mental state. she pulled out her laptop and put on a random movie to help distract her. the attempt was short-lived, as she soon found herself looking up signs that your soulmate was nearby, just in case.
"many people report feeling a sense of necessity upon first seeing their soulmate, even if their soulmate has not yet acknowledged them," she read aloud to herself. "as it takes eye contact for the soulmate effect to trigger, it is advised that you make eye contact with as many people as possible, particularly if you feel a strange or subconscious sense of need. additionally, for some people, you need to blink when you make eye contact for the soulmate effect to trigger. the reason for this is unknown."
ji-yeong decided to pay extra attention tomorrow. se-mi was right; a part of her was hoping that tomorrow would be the day. there was a visitation open-house for the college tomorrow, which meant lots of new people. who knows, maybe one of them would be her soulmate. the universe certainly owed it to her after having made her wait this long already.
ji-yeong spent the rest of her day passing the time with reading and movies, along with occasional research of the soulmate effect. before she knew it, she was having trouble keeping her eyes open, and she soon drifted off to sleep.
~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~
[y/n's pov, the following morning]
you and se-mi had already woken up and gotten yourselves ready before ji-yeong arrived. you weren't ever one for early mornings, but se-mi was, and it was common for soulmates to have their sleep cycles start to align so they could spend more time together.
you and se-mi were just casually talking while you waited for ji-yeong to get to your dorm. the conversation wasn't about anything important - it was more of an excuse for you two to hear each other's voices. se-mi was sitting down and you were lying next to her, resting your head on her leg while she played with your hair.
after a little while longer, there was a knock at your door, and ji-yeong's voice came through it.
"come on, we're burning daylight out here," she said, pretending as though she had been standing outside for hours.
you and se-mi exchanged a look as you both got up. se-mi opened the door for you and you stepped out, meeting ji-yeong in the hallway. se-mi quickly followed behind you, slipping her hand into your own as she closed the door.
the three of you said your hellos as you began walking towards the exit into the quad. you noticed a lot more people than usual were walking through the halls, and there were a few tour guides with groups of people showing them around.
"what's with all the people?" you asked as you navigated the increasingly dense maze of people.
"there's an open house today," se-mi responded, holding your hand tighter so there was no chance of either of you losing the other.
you nodded in understanding and pressed closer to her, keeping her as close as you could while still following ji-yeong. after a minute or two of more walking, you managed to get to the exit doors. ji-yeong pushed them open and the three of you stepped out onto the quad together.
you immediately felt the warmth of the sun on your face. it was a perfect day out; the sky was a brilliant blue with a few clouds lazily passing overhead. the ambient sounds of people talking and birds chirping filled you with a sense of serenity - or maybe that was just the feeling of being with your soulmate.
there were many people out, and you saw many soulmate couples with one another. more people were lying in the grass or sitting on benches, others were walking around, and more still were lying in the occasional hammock. the sports courts were full with people engaged in friendly competition.
"hey, there's the squirrel-watching club," ji-yeong commented as you walked out onto the grass, nodding towards a group of people who were observing squirrels in trees and on the ground. one member of the club was even feeding a squirrel.
"i still think you'd be a good fit for that club, y/n," se-mi said, her grip on your hand loosening now that there wasn't a risk of losing you,
"i'd rather be the best member of the se-mi fan club," you replied, earning yourself a quick kiss to the top of your head from your soulmate.
"you two are ridiculous," ji-yeong commented, though she was smiling. you gave her a look as you all found a good spot on the grass and sat down. se-mi's head immediately found your shoulder as she cuddled up to you.
the three of you spent the next hour or so talking together, making jokes, discussing classes, and speaking about whatever random things came to mind. eventually you and se-mi got hungry for lunch so you set out for a nearby restaurant. ji-yeong said she wasn't hungry yet, so she decided to stay behind - she also didn't want to intrude on your informal date and be the third wheel. you and se-mi walked to one of your favorite restaurants together, hand in hand.
~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~
[ji-yeong's pov]
ji-yeong watched as you and se-mi vanished into the sea of people, leaving her on her own for now. she looked down at the grass, which was a completely uninteresting shade of grey. her world was so grey and dull all the time, it was beginning to drive her mad.
she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her notifications, clearing them when she saw nothing important. she sighed and stood up, heading towards her own favorite restaurant. she had lied about not being hungry, but it's not like being the third wheel at lunch would be any help to her.
besides, she was tired of the envy that came with seeing you and your girlfriend together.
she silently padded across the grass and pavement, arriving at her chosen restaurant. it was a popular place for groups of friends to go, so not many people came solo. nevertheless, the service was great and so was the food. it was affordable, too. she opened the door and slid inside.
the mildly dim lighting of the restaurant was reinforced by the black-and-white of her vision. however, it smelled like incredible food inside, which balanced things a bit. one of the workers waved to her - she was a regular here, so people knew her.
"sit anywhere you'd like," the worker told her as she approached the counter where you place your order. "i assume you'd like the usual?"
ji-yeong nodded and paid for her food, turning her attention to the tables. there were a few groups, so all but one table was open. she headed over there.
as she walked past the groups, somebody else came into view who she couldn't have seen before. there was a lone girl sitting in the corner of the restaurant, wearing dark clothing to avoid drawing attention to herself. something about her caught ji-yeong's eye. she took a mental note of the girl's hairstyle, which was a pretty wolf cut. she felt her heart rate increase slightly.
ji-yeong found herself slowly walking over to her. her subconscious was telling her that something was different about this woman. ji-yeong thought back to last night's research - could this be the feeling of need that one website was talking about?
"um, excuse me," ji-yeong said as she arrived at the table.
"yes?" the woman turned her gaze to look up at ji-yeong. her eyes were dark and cold; this girl clearly kept to herself as much as she could. ji-yeong looked into her eyes, hoping upon hope that she would see something. the girl before her blinked at her, and for a brief moment, ji-yeong thought she saw a flash of something in the girl's eyes.
all she saw was the same old dull grey that everybody else looked like.
"sorry, never mind. i... thought you were someone else," ji-yeong said, breaking eye contact. she turned to go back to her table, but she suddenly felt a hand grab onto her wrist.
"wait," the girl said. "blink. you... you need to blink."
the girl's tone was suddenly a lot less cold. confused, ji-yeong turned back to her.
"sorry?" she said, confused.
"look into my eyes, and blink," the girl instructed. her gaze was locked firmly on ji-yeong's eyes, and for some reason she had seemed to completely let her guard down.
ji-yeong didn't know why, but she did as asked. she looked into the girl's grey eyes, then blinked once.
suddenly, there was a streak of brown in her eyes.
"oh my god," ji-yeong said immediately.
"you're my soulmate," the two girls said at the same time. as soon as they realized, they both witnessed their worlds burst into color around them. the lights gained a pleasant yellow glow, and the windows now displayed the gorgeous view of green grass and a blue sky.
but most beautiful of all, ji-yeong's soulmate was before her. she immediately felt the need to get as close as possible to her, and the girl evidently felt that need as well. the next moment, the two were pulled together into a tight embrace.
"what's your name?" ji-yeong asked, trying her best not to cry from happiness as the deep green of the soulmate's shirt overwhelmed her inexperienced vision.
"sae-byeok," the girl's voice responded. "kang sae-byeok."
ji-yeong suddenly was able to pick up on the intricate details that she would normally overlook - the warmth radiating off of sae-byeok's body, the huskiness of her voice, and newly, the pleasant brown of her hair.
"my name is ji-yeong," she replied. "i... i thought i would never find my soulmate. god, i love you. never leave me." ji-yeong felt happy tears forming in her eyes and gave up on fighting her emotions.
"i love you too," sae-byeok said, rubbing ji-yeong's back.
ji-yeong now understood people's reactions to the soulmate effect. she had always found it interesting how people would become attached to their soulmate the moment they met them, as though they had been dating for years. but now, as sae-byeok and ji-yeong held each other, the feeling the two of them were sharing could only be described as pure love. ji-yeong wanted nothing but to spend her life by sae-byeok's side.
other people at the restaurant had noticed that the new couple found each other, and they were applauding and cheering for the two. neither girl heard them, as their minds were completely occupied with the thought of the other.
eventually, after they had processed their intense flash of emotions, the two pulled out of their hug. sae-byeok's hands slid down ji-yeong's arms and took her hands in her own, looking into her eyes.
ji-yeong couldn't believe how beautiful things were in color. specifically, sae-byeok's eyes, which were a deep brown that ji-yeong found absolutely mesmerizing. the couple stared into each other's eyes for a moment longer before sae-byeok got impatient and promptly pressed her lips against ji-yeong's.
any remaining negative feelings or emotions completely vanished from ji-yeong's mind as her soulmate kissed her. she felt completely at peace. she quickly kissed back, melting into sae-byeok.
as quickly as it started, the kiss was over, and sae-byeok pulled away.
"um," sae-byeok started, not used to being this exposed and comfortable around someone. "would you like to sit with me? we can get to know each other better," she offered.
"absolutely," ji-yeong responded before she had even consciously processed the question. she wanted to know everything about her soulmate and wanted to be with her forever.
sae-byeok sat back down at her table and ji-yeong sat next to her, leaning against sae-byeok gently. sae-byeok put her arm around her new girlfriend's shoulders without even thinking about it.
as the two girls began to talk and introduce themselves properly, ji-yeong felt a complete sense of contentment. she had finally found the person she'd been missing. she was excited to tell you and se-mi the news, but for now, her soulmate had her full attention.
right now, sae-byeok was the only light she needed in the world.
~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~πππ~~~
πβ¨ did you like this fic? if so, click here to go to my masterlist and read others like it! β¨π
author's note: hiiii lovelies! so i kind of disappeared for a month, sorry about that! college got super busy and my motivation to write kind of died. but i am back now, and in order to not burn myself out i'll be trying to post a bit less often, but more consistently - i'm (roughly) shooting for once every seven days (hopefully a new fic every sunday!), and maybe some bonus shorter ones between those if motivation and my schedule allows it! from now on expect one fic of my usual quality and length once a week at the same approximate time as i usually post.
enough about me! this fic uses the same concept as another one i wrote for a few ocs about two years ago, but with better writing now that i'm a better writer. i hope you enjoy!
btw my requests are open! if you want to see anything written, don't hesitate to send me a prompt! i don't bite, i promise <3 β¨
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kang no-eul bleakly looked into the bathroom mirror. a broken girl stared back at her from the other side.
no-eul had isolated herself in the bathroom again. she held her expertly crafted hunting knife in her hands - a beautifully carved double-edged dagger. she had purchased it for a bargain at a thrift store years ago. it was an upgrade over the shards of glass from broken bottles she used to use.
no-eul's hands were trembling slightly. she looked down at herself, flipping her arm over so her palm was facing her.
there were three fresh cuts on her forearm. beyond, the bathroom sink was stained red with her own blood; the very same blood that was painted onto her knife.
no-eul looked back into the mirror at herself. she felt the burning of tears threatening to form at the corners of her eyes, but she willed them not to. she was in enough emotional turmoil as it is.
"why do i feel like this? why do i always feel the need to..."
she didn't bother finishing her thought. the answer was painfully obvious, no matter how much she hated it. this - the cuts on her arm - provided her with relief and dopamine. it let her feel something again.
feelings were hard to come by these days.
every day, no-eul felt empty. the only times she felt anything at all was when she was with you... and when she was cutting lines into her skin. without one of the two things, everything was grey and dull. lifeless.
no-eul placed the knife on the counter, blood trickling down her arm and adding to the mess. she didn't care about that. she looked into the mirror and slid up the sleeve of her hoodie, looking over the dozens of scars that covered her arm. out of habit, she ran her fingers over them. she didn't bother looking at her other arm - it was just more of the same.
she had been cutting herself for years now. she knew her scars better than anything.
no-eul's gaze flicked back down to the fresh cuts on her arm. they were still bleeding, the blood being collected by the sink that she was holding her arm over. she reached forward and picked her knife back up, pressing it against her arm between two of the cuts. she watched as muscle memory took over, sliding the knife across her skin, fresh pain coursing through her veins. the pain didn't bother her, she barely even noticed it.
it was yet another cut to add to the collection.
blood immediately began to gush out of the wound. they always bled heavily at first, as she preferred to cut deep. the pain faded away after a few brief moments; she'd cut so many times that her pain tolerance threshold was quite high.
"i shouldn't be doing this." no-eul traced over some of her old scars with her finger, blankly staring down at the four gashes in her arm. "i know i shouldn't be doing this. but i can't stop. it feels too good..."
it's true, she got a little bit of a high every time she cut herself. it was one of the few things left that could make her feel anything at all. she closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of her blood leaving her body, basking in the twisted warmth it gave her. after a moment, she opened her eyes; the feeling had dulled, as usual.
no-eul pressed the knife against her skin again, softer this time. she knew she was being reckless every time she cut, but she wasn't stupid - she always made sure to be careful when she cut near her wrists. she looked down at her knife, ready and in position.
to her surprise, she lifted the knife away from her wrist and deposited it back on the counter, blood dripping from the blade. she expected to be unable to control herself once she had the knife positioned - muscle memory usually took over at that point.
after the moment had passed, she felt nothing from the new revelation.
suddenly, no-eul's phone went off. she carefully held her bloodied arm over the sink as she used her free hand to retrieve her phone, turning it on and looking at it.
it was a text from you.
"i'm almost home."
"shit," no-eul hissed. she swiftly flicked the sink on, washing the pooling blood down the drain. she grabbed a hand towel and ran it under the water for a second, dampening it. she held it to her arm, trying to stop the bleeding.
no-eul's panic was accentuated when she heard the sound of keys jingling in the door. you were home.
"fuck, fuck, fuck." she applied more pressure to the towel, trying to force her arm to stop spilling blood. "she can't see me like this. she can't know."
"no-eul? i'm back," you called out into your shared apartment.
your voice - the voice that normally brought no-eul comfort - now struck fear into her heart. she hurriedly pulled the towel off her arm, desperately hoping the bleeding had stopped. much to her dismay, her cuts were still trickling blood.
"no, no, no," no-eul whined. she roughly shoved the towel back under the faucet, spilling water and blood everywhere in the process. she tried to reach for her knife and the newly-drenched towel, but she lost her balance as she grabbed both items - she was feeling lightheaded from the blood loss and the panic. she fell to the ground hard, her knife landing on the floor next to her, barely avoiding slicing her leg. she was dripping blood onto the floor now, and she clutched the towel against her arm to stop herself from bleeding everywhere.
as you shut the apartment door, you heard a loud crash come from the bathroom. worried, you hurried over to it, hearing the sound of running water. you gently knocked on the door, speaking through it to your friend.
"no-eul? are you okay?"
no-eul tried her best to swallow her panic. "yeah, i'm- i'm fine," she called out, her voice cracking, sounding hoarse and dry. she absolutely didn't sound fine. she sounded terrible. but more than anything, she sounded afraid.
"you don't sound fine," you responded, your hand reaching for the doorknob. you really didn't want to open the door while your friend was in there, but she sounded hurt, and you were worried. "it is okay if i open the door?"
no-eul froze. "don't... don't open the door, y/n. please. trust me, you- you don't want to."
her voice sounded off. she didn't sound like herself at all: confident, fearless, serious. instead, she sounded hurt, afraid, and sick. your worry only grew. she had never said anything like that for as long as you'd known her. you began to turn the doorknob.
"i'm opening the door, no-eul. i'm sorry, but i have to."
no-eul's heart raced with anxiety and fear. she lost all control of her emotions and she felt tears begin to trickle down her face. "y/n, please- don't..."
you had already made up your mind. if she was in danger, that was your priority. you slowly pushed the door open, and for a brief moment you thought you were in some kind of living nightmare as your mind processed everything you saw.
there were streaks of blood in the sink, with small pools on the counter as well. the water was running on full blast, and it was absolutely everywhere. but you didn't care about any of that. no-eul was slumped over on the floor, a wet hand towel - normally white, but this one was stained bright red - was pressed against her arm. besides her was a hunting knife, its edge also drenched in crimson. your eyes immediately widened, and you felt adrenaline begin to take hold of you.
"holy shit, no-eul..!" you rushed over to your friend, crouching down to her level. "what happened to you?" you began to reach for the towel that she was pressing into her arm. her eyes were full of fear; she looked more like a wounded animal than anything else.
"y/n, no, please- please go away..." tears fell down no-eul's face as you gently pulled the towel off her arm, revealing the four gashes in her forearm, still lightly bleeding.
"hey, it's okay..." you whispered to her immediately, your voice trailing off as you analyzed the cuts, trying to determine what happened. your attention was soon brought to the dozens of scars covering her arm, running up and vanishing under where her sleeve covered them. your mind connected the dots for you, and you made sure to keep your demeanor calm along with your voice.
"no-eul, did you... do this to yourself?" you asked softly, making sure not to overwhelm her.
after a moment, no-eul gave a shameful nod, averting her eyes away from you and staring bleakly at the wall. tears fell down her cheeks. there was no point in denying it anymore; she had been found out, and her scars were there, out on display for you to see. she waited for you to start lecturing her, or get upset, or even to start yelling. maybe you would just abandon her and decide she wasn't worth the effort. she flinched when you reached for her face, and you stopped, backing off a bit.
"hey, i'm not going to hurt you," you said quietly. she turned her head towards you ever-so-slightly, looking for the anger in your expression that she had always pictured. to her surprise, you didn't seem angry or upset at all. instead, you looked genuinely, caring, and free of judgement.
no-eul relaxed slightly, letting her guard down. she was too exhausted to try to hide anything anymore, not like there would be any point in it anyway. she let you reach out and brush her tears away with your hand.
you turned your attention down to her injuries. you were worried and really wanted to talk to her and figure out what had caused this, but you needed to make sure she was safe first. fortunately, her wounds had mostly stopped bleeding thanks to her haphazard attempt at treating them.
you opened one of the cabinets next to you, pulling out some gauze. you used one hand to hold no-eul's arm steady while you wrapped the gauze around it. once you had finished patching her up, you slid the gauze back into the cabinet and pushed it closed. you then slowly reached out and took the knife, being careful to make sure no-eul didn't see you as a threat. she didn't have the energy to try to stop you, and you pushed the knife backwards out of reach of both of you.
then, you leaned forward, pulling no-eul into a hug. she was startled at first - she wasn't a very physical person - but she quickly melted into the comfort. she buried her face in your shoulder as her tears stained your shirt, truly letting years of pent-up negative emotions out in a way that didn't involve a blade. you held her and softly rubbed her back for several minutes, doing your best to soothe her. you made sure to give her all the time she needed.
eventually, no-eul slowly pulled away, and her crying stopped. you let go of her, gazing upon her with compassion. her eyes met yours, and you could see the stories they told. held within them was years of untold sadness and pain, loneliness and despair. she looked completely and utterly broken.
meanwhile, no-eul was analyzing your eyes as well. she couldn't believe how genuine you looked; instead of the anger or fear she had expected to see, you were understanding and compassionate. you were clearly concerned about her.
after a couple of moments, it was you who broke the silence.
"do you... want to talk about it?" you asked, gently reaching over and tucking her messy hair behind her ear so it wouldn't get in her eyes.
no-eul hesitated as she considered the question. she desperately wanted to tell someone about what she had been going through, and it would be a huge relief to no longer be alone in her struggles. on the other hand, she wasn't so sure about talking to you in particular about it. she trusted you a lot, but she had been hiding everything from you for so long... to do a complete 180 on that and open up about everything wouldn't be easy.
you waited patiently for her answer, not wanting to put any pressure on her. she didn't seem particularly stable at the moment, and you didn't want to contribute to her instability.
to her own amazement, no-eul slowly nodded. she trusted you more than anyone else, and you had already seen her at her worst. there wasn't much more damage that could be done.
you nodded and smiled softly, grateful that she had trusted you enough to be able to speak to you about it. the last thing you wanted was to know your friend was suffering alone.
"okay," you said softly. "do you want to move out of the bathroom?"
no-eul looked around at the bloodstained floor and waterlogged walls, and quickly nodded. "yes," she said, trying and failing to conceal the shame in her voice. "please," she added.
"okay," you repeated, standing up. "stay here for a second, alright? i'm going to put the knife away so nobody steps on it. i'll be right back, i promise." you knew how fragile she was right now, so you made sure to explain everything and reassure her with everything you did. you picked the knife up off the floor and stepped out of the bathroom, looking back at her. "don't try to move before i come back, alright? i don't want anything to happen to you."
no-eul nodded in understanding. you soon vanished from sight as you looked for somewhere to hide the knife so she couldn't use it on herself again, leaving her alone for the moment.
no-eul watched as you walked away. once you were out of sight, she looked down at the gauze on her arm. you had done a good job, better than she ever did. she absentmindedly ran her finger over where she knew the fresh cuts were. a pang of anxiety hit her as she looked up at the empty doorway, realizing she had just brought the person she considered to be her best friend into her personal problems. self-doubt began to set in as you didn't reappear at the door.
"she probably hates me," she thought, pulling her knees up against her chest. "i dragged her into my own problems. i'm so useless." her mind kept firing negative thoughts at her, thoughts about how you wouldn't ever come back for her. you'd just leave her in the bathroom to fend for herself, never wanting anything to do with her again. she felt her tears start back up at the thought of being abandoned by you, all because she couldn't keep her problems to herself.
you returned just as quickly as you left, finding no-eul fighting back tears with unfocused eyes, her knees brought up to her chest. once she saw you, relief flashed over her face. you rushed over to her, kneeling down and taking her hands in your own.
"hey, it's okay, i'm here. what happened?" you asked, keeping your voice low and gentle, not wanting to scare her.
"i- i thought you were going to a-abandon me," no-eul choked out, trembling.
"no-eul..." you released her hands and softly pulled her into a hug once again. "i would never abandon you like that. i'm here for you, always." you felt her arms desperately wrap around your shoulders like she was afraid you would vanish if she let go. "nothing could ever get me to do that to you. i care about you way too much to do that."
the words "i care about you" played on repeat in no-eul's mind as she learned into you, not releasing her grip on you. the two of you stayed like that for a few minutes until no-eul had calmed down again. she slowly released her grip on you, and you did the same, taking her hands in yours once again.
"do you want to go to the living room?" you asked, gently running your fingertips across the back of her hands as you waited for an answer. you figured she could use the affection, especially in her current state.
no-eul nodded slowly after a moment. "please."
"okay." you stood up, then held your hand out for no-eul. she took it, and you helped pull her up to her feet. she immediately felt lightheaded and instinctively clung to your shoulder to keep herself from falling. you helped her out of the bathroom and over to the living room couch, which she collapsed against. you sat next to her, turning to face her.
"are you okay?" you asked, looking on as her lightheadedness began to disappear. she turned her head to look at you, but avoided your eyes for now. she took a shaky breath, then spoke.
"yeah, but walking probably isn't the best idea." her eyes met yours for a brief moment, and you could tell she was anxious. "thank you. for helping me."
"it's not a problem at all. i'm just glad i was there," you replied. "are you okay with talking about it?"
no-eul took a deep breath. she was anxious, but you hadn't shown any judgement so far, and she needed to tell someone about it. she closed her eyes, trying to hide her shame. "yeah, i... i think i am."
"well, i guess i should start with the question at the front of my mind." you glanced down at no-eul's arm. "when i was putting the gauze on you, i saw a lot of scars..." you said, trailing off, not sure if the implied question was too personal.
no-eul had a decision to make. her response to your question would determine the direction of the rest of this interaction. lying to you would be pointless, you already saw that she was cutting herself and it would only be a matter of time until you found out the truth. besides, you were the person she trusted the most in the world. so, for the first time ever, she decided to be open and vulnerable about her struggles. no more secrets, no more hiding. it was time to set things right.
"they were all caused by me," she started. "every single scar that you saw was caused by my own hands."
you nodded in understanding. "there were a lot of them, no-eul. and even more that i couldn't see, probably."
no-eul didn't respond verbally. she only silently nodded in agreement.
"how many are there..? only if you're comfortable sharing, of course," you asked, not wanting to overstep your friend's boundaries.
no-eul said nothing for several moments, she just sat there as if she was contemplating something.
"if you don't want to answer that one, that's okay," you said, reassuring her. "i don't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"you're not, i trust you," no-eul responded. "it's just..." she took a deep breath. "here."
no-eul pulled up the sleeve of her hoodie on the arm you had tended to. "you saw how many there were before you put the gauze on," she said. "they go up to my shoulder." she then pulled up the sleeve on her other arm, revealing dozens more scars that you hadn't seen before. "so do these."
your eyes widened slightly in shock at the sheer number of scars there were. you reached your hand out, then hesitated, looking up at no-eul for approval. no-eul nodded at you and held her arm out to you.
you gently held her arm, inspecting it closely. you moved closer to no-eul, softly running your other hand down her arm. you gingerly turned her arm over, revealing more scars that ran down the underside of her arm, a few dangerously close to her wrist. you took her hand in yours and looked up at her.
"i didn't know it was this bad..." you said as your eyes ran over her scars again for a moment. no-eul used her free hand to trace her scars as she always does.
"there's more on my legs, too. and a few on my stomach."
"how couldn't i have known...?" you whispered, hesitantly tracing a finger against a few of her scars like she was doing. it seemed to be calming for her, and she closed her eyes for a second.
"you know how i always wear a hoodie and sweatpants, no matter the weather? i always told you i was just cold, even when it was burning hot outside. well, the real reason is that i wanted to hide my shame from you. i always thought you would judge me for it..." no-eul opened her eyes and looked away, her face burning. clearly, that assumption was wrong. you were being super nice about it. and cute about it, too.
"wait, what? did i really just think that?" no-eul looked at you as you were holding her arm, gently tracing over some of her scars with a finger. she couldn't believe how vulnerable she was making herself; you were the one person she tried the hardest to hide everything from. and here she was, both of her sleeves rolled up so that you could see everything.
you looked up at her, your hands sliding down to hers. "i wouldn't have ever judged you for this," you said softly as you held no-eul's hand in your own.
no-eul closed her hand around yours. "i was so afraid, y/n. i... i didn't want to lose you because of my problems. i didn't want to involve you in any of this because i was afraid it would push you away."
you gazed down at the scars covering no-eul's arms. "your scars would have never pushed me away, no-eul. i really care about you, more than other people." you ran your free hand down her arm lightly. "your scars do not define you. it wouldn't be right to boil you down to the marks on your body. you are so much more than that."
no-eul fought back a blush at the kind words. to think that she was ever afraid of you finding out...
you took no-eul's other hand in your own. "you truly are a beautiful person, no-eul. inside and out." you were shocked at the words leaving your mouth, despite meaning all of them. "and... your scars do not make you any less beautiful."
you had always found your friend beautiful. she was an amazing person, though she was normally closed off so it was hard for you to tell her these things - not like it ever seemed like she needed to hear it. but now, seeing her this vulnerable and open with you, it allowed you to say everything you felt. you had a connection with her now, and you weren't going to let it go to waste.
now no-eul was really blushing, and she kicked herself mentally for it. it was hard not to, though - you had just called her beautiful.
"y/n..." no-eul tried to think of something to say, but couldn't. she felt herself starting to tear up. nobody had ever said anything like that to her before.
you saw that your friend was starting to tear up. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry..." you dropped no-eul's hands, afraid that you had done something wrong.
"no no, it's okay, it's just... nobody has ever said anything like that to me before..." no-eul wiped some of her tears away, then suddenly pulled you into a tight hug.
you hugged her back, relieved that you hadn't said anything wrong. "i meant all of it, no-eul. every single word."
no-eul kept hugging you for several minutes before pulling away, feeling your hands trace down her arms before settling in her own hands as she did so. she looked up at you, still blushing from such a heartfelt statement.
they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and now you knew why. no-eul's eyes were gorgeous. you felt a sudden sense of deep emotional connection with her, and a protective urge to keep her safe swept over you. impulsively, you leaned down and softly kissed her cheek.
immediately, you realized what you'd done. "oh my god, i'm so sorry- i didn't think... about..." your voice trailed off as you saw that no-eul had a soft smile on her face. no-eul gripped your hands a little tighter, then leaned up and kissed your cheek as well.
"there," she said in a hushed voice as she pulled away. "now we're even."
no-eul gazed into your eyes once more, seeming to get lost in them - which was evidently a shared experience at the moment as both of you processed what just happened.
"am i dreaming??" no-eul thought to herself. "this must be a dream, right?"
but no-eul already knew that it wasn't a dream. this was real. she watched as the same thoughts passed through your mind, and for the first time since you had found her, she smiled.
then, you leaned down and kissed her. you both released your grips on each other's hands as you forgot about everything else.
just as quickly as it started, it was over. no-eul slowly pulled away, blushing more than you had ever seen before - it seemed like she had gotten more comfortable being vulnerable. "i'm sorry, i've never kissed anyone before..."
you smiled, gently guiding her hands to your shoulders before resting your hands on the sides of her body.
"it's okay," you said, glancing down at her lips. "do you want to try again?"
no-eul didn't need any convincing. she quickly pressed her mouth against yours, melting into the kiss, feeling a lot more comfortable and natural this time. her heart was racing, but it was no longer out of anxiety.
after a couple seconds, you pulled away. no-eul threw her arms around you and pulled you into another hug. she hugged you for a long time, resting her head against your neck. she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to take control of her heart rate.
you pulled away slightly, getting a whine of disapproval from no-eul. you took her hand in yours and intertwined your fingers with her, looking down at your friend, no longer needing to hide your feelings.
"no-eul," you said, giving her hand a squeeze. "thank you for trusting me."
she smiled, resting her head on your shoulder and closing her eyes. "i don't trust anyone more," she said as she cuddled into you, all her self-doubts forgotten. you held her like that for a long time, and slowly, her breathing slowed. she had fallen asleep right in your arms.
"kang no-eul," you whispered to her, not wanting to disturb or wake her.
"for as long as i live, i promise i will protect and care for you."
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πβ¨ did you like this fic? if so, click here to go to my masterlist and read others like it! β¨π
author's note: a bit of a shorter one! wanted to get something else before i started touring some colleges. i hope you like this fluff story, i tried to focus more on the emotional aspect for this one! my requests are always open if there's something special you'd like to see ππ
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"like, what the hell is any of this?" se-mi whined, staring down at her homework.
you glanced over at your roommate for the eighth time this hour. she had been loudly complaining about her math homework ever since she had gotten to your shared dorm.
"sem, you good over there?" you asked. she was making it sound like the paper was asking her to create a black hole.
"no, i'm not good," se-mi complained. "look at this shit."
se-mi made no effort to show you the paper, so you had to get up and walk over to her yourself. you looked down at the paper. it all seemed fine to you, which was probably because you were majoring in math.
"i don't even know how to pronounce half of these words," se-mi said, getting a giggle out of you. se-mi glared at you.
"sorry," you apologized, reading the paper over her shoulder. "why don't you skip this one and do some that you know how to do first?"
se-mi nodded and flipped through the pages, looking for familiar problems that were covered in class that she remembered. there weren't any.
"did you take notes?" you asked her, trying to be helpful without doing her homework for her. she nodded and pulled her incredibly unorganized bag out from under her desk, searching through it.
"did a bomb go off in there or something? jeez sem," you teased. she gave you a look.
"i've been meaning to clean it out," she said as she pulled out a paper that was absolutely from high school and set it aside. apparently she'd been 'meaning to' for a while now.
eventually she found her math notebook and flipped it open to today's notes. you looked over her shoulder at them and blinked a few times. you thought maybe se-mi was taking a hieroglyphics class in the same notebook as her math class.
"this does not help," se-mi muttered, tossing the notebook on the floor.
you gave se-mi a pitiful look and came up with a new idea.
"does your professor post lectures online?" you asked. se-mi nodded and pulled her laptop off her bed, firing it up.
"welcome, se-mi." the screen displayed. se-mi rolled her eyes at the familiar message she had read hundreds of times.
"skip the formalities already," se-mi said as the screen turned blue.
"two hours?!" se-mi hissed. you giggled and se-mi swatted at your arm. "are they downloading the entire internet or something?"
you sat back down on your bed and watched as se-mi stared at her computer, hoping that somehow the time would magically go down. after a few minutes, you took pity on her.
"sem," you called out. she turned to face you, hoping you would have a solution. "your computer is going to take a long time to do all those updates, why don't we do something in the meantime?"
"it beats sitting here waiting, i guess," she said. "you want to get dinner or something?"
"sounds good to me. there's a pizza place that recently opened up and it's so good, wanna go there?" you asked. you had discovered the restaurant while you were exploring the area around campus, and they undoubtedly had the best pizza in town with a great view to go with it.
"sure, it's a date," se-mi said, looking at you teasingly. you playfully rolled your eyes at her and stood up, grabbing your keys and money. se-mi got her shoes on and nodded at you, and you both left your dorm room and headed for the elevator down the hall. you pressed the button and waited for the elevator to arrive.
"so, what's this magical new pizza place?" se-mi asked, looking over at you.
"it's a surprise," you said simply, grinning at her.
"yeah? that's no fun," she responded, nudging you with her shoulder.
you didn't say anything else so you could keep it a secret. you wanted to surprise her with this restaurant so she could have the same sort of experience that you had when you first found it. se-mi shook her head at you in mock disbelief, but didn't say anything further.
after a moment, the elevator opened with a ding, and you and se-mi stepped inside. you and se-mi simultaneously fixed your hair using the mirror along the back wall of the elevator as the doors slid closed. you pressed the button for the ground floor, and the elevator began moving. you turned back to the mirror to tweak your hair some more, but se-mi hand on your shoulder stopped you.
"hey, you look fine, hm?" she affirmed you. you smiled slightly and looked over yourself in the mirror.
"really?" you asked. something about being with se-mi made you more self-conscious and made you want to loom your very best.
"yeah. i actually find hobbits pretty cute, so you fit right in," she said, covering her mouth with her hand to stop herself from laughing at her own joke.
"se-mi!" you chided, but laughed as well. she always knew what to say. you sighed and turned away from the mirror. se-mi apparently liked how you looked, so there wasn't a need to adjust yourself further.
the elevator dinged at you and the doors slid open, letting both of you out. you two quietly trekked through the lobby and out the front door, walking to your car. the two of you got in and you pulled out of the parking lot, beginning to drive to the restaurant.
"sooo, y/n," se-mi started. you looked at her briefly in the mirror, and she was staring directly back at you. "is this a date?"
you coughed out of surprise and almost jerked the steering wheel. a blush rose to your face.
"say again?" you asked, not sure if you heard correctly.
"i told you this was a date before we left, and you didn't object. so are we on a date or not?" se-mi elaborated, clearly enjoying your suddenly flustered demeanor.
"i- i don't know? i guess? if you want it to be?" you stumbled over your words, trying to focus on driving and not the fact your friend basically just asked you out on a date. how was she being so casual about this?
"well, that settles it. we're on a date." se-mi smiled at you, clearly proud of herself. you were at a loss for words, which was fine with you. you didn't want to embarrass yourself any more than you just did.
a few more silent minutes passed as you drove. se-mi got bored of the silence and began humming to herself, which made you smile slightly. she had a tendency to express herself with the little things like that, and you found it kind of cute. which made the fact that you two were apparently on a date even more surprising. you felt your blush beginning to deepen, and you kicked yourself mentally for it.
se-mi definitely noticed and was having fun with it, 'accidentally' bumping your arm a few times and subtly changing the melody of her humming to songs she knew you like.
"i'm going to crash and it's going to be your fault," you said after a minute. se-mi just smirked.
"sorry, am i distracting you?" she asked, not-so-subtly resting her hand on your leg.
"a bit," you said, trying to focus on the road. you turned down a side path made of dirt and rocks, taking the two of you through the somewhat hidden road. se-mi noticed this and looked around, not recognizing the area.
"where are we going again?" she asked, intrigued. she whined at you when you didn't respond, this time causing you to smile. with how much she'd been poking at you and teasing you on the ride here, it was kind of a taste of her own medicine.
eventually, the road opened up into a parking lot attached to a restaurant building.
"this place is awfully hidden," se-mi observed. "how'd you find out about it?"
"i was just driving around and taking random roads, then i stumbled upon it," you told her, getting out of the car. se-mi also out and began to walk with you towards the restaurant. in typical se-mi fashion, she interlocked her arm with yours, causing you to give her a flustered glare. she looked back at you innocently in response.
"you're unbelievable," you said, shaking your head.
"what'd i do?" she asked, feigning ignorance.
you rolled your eyes, but stepped a bit closer to her. she smiled as you did, the two of you making your way inside the restaurant.
as you both walked inside, se-mi realized why you liked this place. it was super clean, and it smelled absolutely incredible. there were a few customers inside, none of which paid any attention to you. you went up to the counter where a worker was attending and began to place your orders. you ordered [whatever kind of pizza you like] and se-mi kept it simple with pepperoni. after you had placed your orders, the worker asked if it would be for here or to go.
"to go, please," you told them, much to se-mi's surprise. you paid for the food and went over to the side to wait for your orders to be made.
"you didn't have to pay for me," se-mi said, leaning against you casually like she had been doing it for years.
"i wanted to," you said simply.
"well, i appreciate it," she responded. "and why did you make it a to-go order?"
"it's a secret," you said. se-mi pouted at your simple answers.
"you have too many secrets," she complained.
you didn't say anything further, so she resigned herself to pouting. when that didn't work, she elected to simply lean against you. you felt her arm slip around your waist as she held onto you, which made a blush rise to your cheeks for the second time tonight. you knew she would engage in her typical shenanigans if you mentioned it, so you stayed quiet.
the conversation fell quiet, and you and se-mi just enjoyed each other's presence. pretty soon, your pizzas were ready. you stepped forward, out of se-mi's grasp. se-mi whined in complaint and quickly made her way back to your side. you thanked the worker for the pizzas, and they nodded towards the two of you.
"you two are cute together," they said cheerfully.
"oh, no, we aren't- i'm not-" you stammered, suddenly flustered again. today was really not your day. fortunately for you, se-mi swooped in to your rescue.
"thank you!" she said, giving them a friendly smile. "don't mind my girlfriend here, she's shy."
se-mi's words just caused you to hide your face in your hand, unsure how else to react. se-mi took her pizza from you and locked her arm with yours again.
"c'mon love, let's go," she said, leading you outside. as soon as you were out of the building, you looked over at her with a glare.
"sem, what are you doing? you can't just tell people things like that-"
"you're hot when you're embarrassed," se-mi said, cutting you off. before you could even register what she said, she hit you with a follow-up statement. "now, why'd you get it to-go?"
"oh, there's a place i wanted to go with you- wait, did you just call me hot?" you began leading se-mi to a path through the trees nearby.
"i don't remember calling you hot," she said.
"you are the most impossible girl sometimes, sem," you said, but you couldn't help but smile at her antics. she made a noise of agreement which only served as further proof of your statement.
eventually, the path opened to a small clearing on a hill. there was a bench that overlooked a beautiful lake, and the sun was beginning to set which cast a mesmerizing effect on the water. se-mi's words left her for a moment as she overlooked the lake. she sat down on the bench as you did the same, and you just took in the scenery for a few minutes.
"it's beautiful," se-mi eventually said. you nodded at her, proud of yourself.
the two of you opened your pizza boxes and began eating, basking in the beauty of the nature surrounding you and in each other's presence. a sense of serenity overcame you as the only sounds you could hear were the rustling of the leaves and the breathing of se-mi.
after you both finished eating, you set your respective pizza boxes next to you and looked out across the lake. you felt se-mi slip her hand into yours, and you absolutely didn't resist. you held her hand tightly, and she leaned her head on your shoulder.
"y/n," se-mi started, her voice soft. you turned your head and looked at her.
"hm?"
"i love you..." she whispered. you felt your heart skip a beat as you processed her words. a smile rose to your face, and you rested your head against hers.
"i love you too, sem," you affirmed. se-mi sighed happily as a warm feeling passed through her, all of her worries gone for the moment. you felt the same way.
both of you sat in comfortable silence as se-mi cuddled closer to you, the physical contact saying all the words for you. a sudden burst of confidence overcame you, and you softly kissed the top of se-mi's head, drawing an adorable noise of appreciation from her. se-mi could be chaotic and unpredictable at times, but she sure was cute.
you thought back to when she openly called you her girlfriend. you didn't have a problem with that.
you and your new girlfriend happily cuddled with each other as you watched the way the water reflected the setting sun. both of you thought it was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the person who you were with.
as the sun dipped below the horizon, you realized something. you had come here to show se-mi a beautiful view, but somehow, she had become the most breathtaking part of it all.
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πβ¨ did you like this fic? if so, click here to go to my masterlist and read others like it! β¨π
author's note: i'm so sorry for my hiatus!! i wasn't feeling super motivated so writing was slow, but i'm back now! i hope you enjoy this story, i made it extra long as an apology to you all ππ please send requests if you have them, it's super motivating!! β¨β¨
backstory/context: sae-byeok went to the games, and the first vote ended with the majority voting to stay. after the second game, the vote was tied, and after the lights out special game, there was a successful vote to leave.
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"the person you have called is currently unavailable. please leave a message after the tone."
you sighed and hung up before the tone could play. this was your seventeenth call to sae-byeok since she disappeared two days ago. you hadn't thought much of it at first, but when she didn't come home during the night, you had gotten worried. this wasn't like her.
"where are you, sae..." you whispered to yourself, turning your phone off.
sae-byeok wasn't a particularly open person, even though you two were close friends. regardless, she'd never disappeared without any communication before.
you tried to ignore the voice in the back of your mind telling you that something bad happened to her. you don't know what you would do if that was the case. you didn't have many other friends, especially not like sae-byeok. she was the only person you trusted enough in your life to live with, and having two people share an apartment is cheaper than the alternative.
a crack of thunder outside brought you back to the present. it was getting late now, and a storm was rolling in. you turned your phone on and opened your text messages with sae-byeok.
---
"text me"
delivered 10:07 pm
---
you closed your eyes and let your phone fall on the couch next to you. staying up all night wouldn't help your worrying. the best thing you could do is get some rest and hope that your friend reached out in the morning.
you resigned yourself to the call of sleep, grabbing your phone and heading to your bedroom. you put your phone on the charger and turned the notification volume up to the highest it could go in case sae-byeok texted. with one last call to sae-byeok which went unanswered, you turned off the lights and laid down on your bed. the gentle sound of rain hitting your window and the soft rolling of thunder in the distance was soothing, and you soon found yourself drifting off to sleep.
---
a violent crack of thunder and the strobe of lightning illuminating your room jolted you awake. your heart suddenly raced as your fight or flight instincts kicked in. the wind was howling outside, and the rain was assaulting the window. you took a deep breath, calming yourself. you peered out of your window, watching as somebody's track can rolled down the street, being pulled along by the wind.
suddenly, your phone blared with the sound of an incoming call. you flinched and looked towards it, reading the caller id and checking the time while you were at it.
"2:13 am"
"β¨ sae-byeok β¨ is calling"
before you knew it, you had basically flown across your bed to your phone. you hastily pressed the 'answer call' button. the sound of wind, rain, and thunder came through the other end.
"sae? are you there? where are you?"
"y/n-" sae-byeok's voice came through the other side. your connection wasn't great, and she was cutting out. "come- me up?"
there was an unusual fear in her voice which immediately undid all your hard work of calming yourself down.
"are you okay? i-"
a tone played through the phone, and the sounds of weather stopped. you looked down at your phone.
"call dropped"
"fuck," you muttered under your breath. the ping of a text came through, and the preview told you it was from sae-byeok. you hurriedly opened the messages.
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β¨ sae-byeok β¨
come pick me up please
im scared
i need you
please
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your heart raced as you read the texts. she had never texted you anything like this before, something must be seriously wrong. you typed back as quickly as you could.
---
-y/n-
are you okay
where are you
---
the reply came back almost instantly.
---
β¨ sae-byeok β¨
no
i made it to the gas station nearest to our apartment
i cant walk in the dark with the storm
please come get me
please
-y/n-
i'm on my way
β¨ sae-byeok β¨
please hurry
---
every text she sent you made you panic more. what did she mean that she 'made it' to the gas station? and why did she seem so afraid?
staying here wasn't going to do anything to help. you quickly grabbed your car keys and put your shoes on, rushing outside to your car. the wind and rain screamed at you as you hurried to your car. it was dangerous to drive in these conditions, but right now sae-byeok was of much more importance to you.
your car hummed to life as the rain ran across the windshield, making it hard to see. an angry roar of thunder filled you with adrenaline as you pulled out of your apartment building's parking lot and begin speeding toward the gas station. you were absolutely breaking several traffic laws but right now you didn't care. your friend was scared and might be hurt, and it's not like there would be cops out in this weather at this hour.
the near-constant flashing of lightning illuminated the road as you drove. you watched as branches were pulled off of trees nearby. the wind seemed to be trying to push you off of the road, and the rain made it hard to see even with the windshield wipers running at full speed. it was a miracle you didn't crash into something with how fast you were going.
the gas station came into view in the distance. your eyes locked onto it, and you pressed down on the gas a little harder. you whipped around the turn of the road leading to it and pulled in, scanning for sae-byeok. there was no sign of her outside, which made sense with how bad this storm was. you parked the car and got out, hurrying inside.
as soon as you stepped out of the car, the wind pushed against your body, causing you to stumble. the torrential downpour functionally blinded you, and you instinctively held your hand up to shield your eyes. the thunder and wind roared overhead, and the lightning only seemed to be getting brighter. you made your way inside, fighting against the wind with every step.
eventually, you managed to rip the door to the gas station open and duck inside. the sudden lack of wind resistance almost made you trip, but you managed to catch yourself on a shelf before you fell. your clothes were soaked, and the building shook around you from the constant thunder.
"sae-byeok?" you called out, wiping the water off your face with your hands. there was no response to your call, and you blinked a few times, your vision now being restored.
you looked around for your friend, but she was nowhere to be seen. the cashier behind the counter got your attention by waving to you, and you ran up to him.
"have you seen a girl here? tall, black hair, freckles..." your voice trailed off as he nodded and pointed towards the corner of the store. without a second thought, you hurried over to where he was pointing, turning the corner to get around the shelves.
hunched down in the corner, with her eyes closed and her hands covering her eyes, was your friend sae-byeok. you approached her gently, not wanting to startle her. she looked uncharacteristically afraid when she was usually so confident and calm. her hair and clothes were also soaked, and her green jacket seemed to have bloodstains on it. the numbers "067" were printed on the jacket. you didn't remember her ever wearing that before. you kneeled down in front of her, slowly reaching for her hand.
"sae?" you asked softly, taking hold of her hand. she flinched and her eyes flew open, and she backed herself away from you further into the corner. "hey, hey, it's me. you're okay."
her eyes scanned over you, and only then did she recognize you. as soon as she figured out you weren't a threat, you found yourself pulled into a deep hug as she clung to you, burying her head in your shoulder.
"whoa, hey- sae, are you okay? what's wrong?" you asked, holding her. she had never acted like this before, and that scared you.
"y/n," she whimpered, her voice strained and full of pain. the sound broke your heart. "please. please take me home. i don't want to be here anymore."
"okay. let's go, okay?" you helped her stand up, and she clung to your arm. you had a lot of questions, but they could wait until she wasn't terrified.
you slowly led sae-byeok to the door while she held onto you like you were the only thing keeping her anchored to the world. before you pushed the door open and stepped back into the brutal weather, you grabbed sae-byeok's hand. she immediately held onto your hand, squeezing tightly.
you opened the door and the wind immediately intruded into the building, pushing back against both of you. you felt sae-byeok grab you tighter as you forced your way through the wind and the rain, taking her to your car. you unlocked it and opened the passenger door for sae-byeok while the rain poured down. she jumped as lightning cracked above you and got into the car as fast as she could, with you doing the same on the driver's side.
as you got in, sae-byeok reached for you and held onto you again. there were sheer terror in her eyes. you were concerned, and you needed to get her home. before you could start driving, sae-byeok suddenly buried her face against your neck. you closed your eyes and pulled her against you, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. she was trembling and on-edge, and every roll of thunder made her flinch.
"shh, you're okay now, i got you," you whispered to her. she nodded weakly as she held onto you. you could tell she was fighting to get her composure back, and staying in this parking lot in a glorified metal can wouldn't help much.
you started the car and gently moved your friend so her head was resting on your shoulder. she whined and held onto your arm, which was fine - you could drive one-handed.
as you started driving back to the apartment, you glanced down at her for a moment. it's not like you would lose much visibility with the rain making everything so hard to see anyway.
"do you want to talk to me?" you asked her. she nodded meekly, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.
"mhm," she managed before choking on her own words. she swallowed, taking another breath. a violent flash of lightning scared her and she clung to your arm, whimpering.
"honey," you started, desperately wishing you could hold her. "you're okay, it's just a storm, alright? we'll be home soon,"
"okay," she breathed, fear obviously taking hold of her. she gripped your hand and squeezed hard, taking another deep breath to calm her racing heart. each flash of the lightning reminded her of the flashing lights during the so-called "special game".
sae-byeok did her best to stabilize herself with the storm. she tried really hard to ignore her fear, but it didn't work. eventually she forced herself to just think about you and focus on you - the dampness of your clothes, the softness of your skin, the rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. sae-byeok found herself copying your breathing rhythm. slowly, her mind cleared, and her shaking stopped, though she still clung to you.
while you were driving, you had noticed what sae-byeok was doing, and you had begun breathing in a more exaggerated fashion so she would copy you. it seemed to help, and she seemed calmer now - she wasn't jumping with every flash of lightning.
"okay..." sae-byeok took one more deep breath, her fear taking the back of her mind for now. "i can talk."
"sae, where were you? i was so worried when you weren't picking up my calls-" you rushed out. she interrupted you.
"i was kidnapped," she said, quickly adding more before you could freak out. "they said it would just be playing games for money, but they killed everyone who lost. fortunately we managed to vote to leave before too many died."
a particularly loud roll of thunder made her flinch and lean closer against you.
"you were kidnapped?!" you shrieked, which made sae-byeok jump.
"don't yell please," she whined.
"sorry," you apologized, lowering your voice.
for the remainder of the drive, sae-byeok told you everything. she told you about the pink guards, the sleeping gas, red light green light, dalgona, the fight that broke out, the voting, the murders, everything. every word she spoke drove more and more fear into your heart. it all sounded so absurd, but she was speaking in that tone that meant whatever she was saying was true.
"sae, i-" you started as you pulled into the apartment's parking lot.
"don't," she said, interrupting you. "i don't... want to think about it. i just want to forget it happened."
you sighed. clearly what she had been through had terrified her, but you respected her wishes. you would have plenty of time to talk about it later. right now you needed to get her inside.
you popped the car door open and were immediately assaulted by the rain and wind. you grimaced and got out, walking around the car and opening sae-byeok's door. she immediately grabbed onto you and you held her close, both of you fighting the wind to get inside.
sae-byeok held onto you as you guided her inside and towards the door to your apartment. the lights in the hallway were off which was strange, you definitely remembered them being on when you left.
you took your apartment key out and inserted it into the keyhole, unlocking the door. sae-byeok quickly stepped inside, clearly relieved to be home.
you closed the door behind you as you entered as well. the next thing you knew, sae-byeok had collapsed into your arms and was hugging you tightly.
"thank you," she murmured, her arms wrapped around you. you returned the hug, rubbing her back softly.
"shh, it's okay. you're safe now," you whispered to her, stroking her hair.
the two of you held each other for a moment before sae-byeok pulled away. she turned and flipped the light switch nearest to the door so you wouldn't be shrouded in darkness.
nothing happened.
she flipped it off and on again. still nothing.
"uhh, y/n..." sae-byeok started. you tried the switch a few times yourself, and nothing happened for you either.
"i guess the storm took out the power," you said, thinking about how the wind was trying to rip trees right out of the ground. "do you know if we have any candles?"
"we have like one... maybe." sae-byeok said, taking out her phone and turning the flashlight on. she shivered. she didn't like this at all.
"sae, are you okay?" you asked, noticing her shaking. she repressed her fear and looked at you.
"yeah, i'm.. i'm okay," she affirmed, absolutely not sounding okay. before you could object, she spoke again. "i'm going to go check for candles."
she turned and started walking down the hallway, freezing when she saw how dark it was. she made sure her phone's flashlight was on the maximum brightness, then slowly crept down the hallway to the bathroom. the dark shadows gave her flashbacks to the special game and how all those people around her died. adrenaline flooded her mind as she made it into the bathroom and reached under the sink, grabbing three candles. she stuffed them into her arms and bolted back to you in the living room.
you looked at your friend with concern as she abruptly returned. her eyes betrayed her now; you could see the panic and fear in them as she was reliving her memories of being in the squid game.
"i'm fine," sae-byeok said, trying and failing to sound confident.
"you don't look it," you objected. "i'm gonna go grab a lighter. stay here, okay?"
sae-byeok nodded as she sat down on the couch. "they're in one of the drawers in the kitchen," she called after you as you turned to leave her. all traces of confidence in her voice were gone, and she was clearly pretty shaken. you gave her one last worried glance before setting off to find a lighter.
just like that, sae-byeok was alone. in the dark.
she tried not to let the darkness get to her. she knew none of the players were here. there was nothing to be afraid of. her instincts told her a different story; every shadow looked like a potential threat. she stared into the darkness, pulling her knees up to her chest to make herself smaller.
after a few moments, you returned with a lighter. sae-byeok flinched as you entered her field of vision but relaxed once she identified that you weren't a threat. you took a candle from her arms and lit it, placing it onto the table next to the couch. sae-byeok watched with fearful eyes as you did the same with the other two candles, bathing the room in a soft orange glow.
wordlessly, you sat down next to your friend and pulled her into a gentle side-hug. she leaned against you, closing her eyes. she felt safer with you. you held her for a minute before you spoke up.
"we should get changed, our clothes are soaked..." you said. sae-byeok nodded and you both stood up, heading back to your rooms to change into dry clothes. fear set in once again as sae-byeok was alone in the darkness. she grabbed the closest spare clothes she could find and hastily changed, wanting to get back to you as fast as possible. you were ahead of her, and you knocked on the wall outside of her room.
"am i good to come in?" you asked, not wanting to intrude.
"you're fine," she responded. you entered the room and shined your own phone flashlight towards her. you saw some small cuts on her skin and frowned.
"stay here for a second," you said, turning and leaving for the bathroom. sae-byeok whined at your absence but did as told.
you grabbed a few bandages from the bathroom closet and returned to your friend. she watched as you approached her, her fear and anxiety seeming to die down as you got closer.
"sit on the bed with me for a second," you told her. she sat down alongside you and you began tending to her wounds, applying the bandages to wherever she was nicked.
"thank you," sae-byeok said quietly while you tended to her.
"hm?" you asked, then you figured she must be talking about the bandages. "oh, it's nothing, these cuts should be tended to anyway-"
"no," sae-byeok interrupted. "thank you... for being there for me."
you applied a bandage to a nick on her neck, then grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. she tried to look confident, but you knew her better than that.
"i care about you, sae. i was so worried. i'm just glad you're okay," you told her. a small smile crept onto her face, and a tear formed in the corner of her eye, which made you panic a bit.
"i'm sorry, did i say something wrong, i-" you stumbled over your words, but she shushed you and pulled you into a hug.
"no," she said. "i'm just so grateful to have met you."
you smiled and let her hold you for a minute before pulling yourself away from her. you stood up and she followed suit.
"we should go back to the living room now that we've changed," you suggested. sae-byeok silently nodded in agreement, and you led her back to the living room while she followed close behind you. as you walked, you checked the time on your phone.
"3:13 am"
you sighed as you made it back to the living room, looking down at the candles. sae-byeok seemed to read your mind.
"we should sleep," she said. she was admitted exhausted and wasn't sure how much longer she could stay awake. "but- i want to sleep out here tonight. by the door. in case something happens. please," she said, thinking back to the special game again. she didn't feel comfortable at all with being alone in her room while the front door was unguarded.
"okay, that's fine," you assured her, wanting to make things as comfortable for her as possible. "you can stay out here if you want."
"um, do you think..." sae-byeok started, swallowing before continuing. "can you stay out here with me tonight? i don't want to be alone..." she whined, letting her fear show through a little which pulled at your heartstrings.
"sure," you smiled at her. "whatever makes you feel safe."
you turned and headed down the hallway, making it one step before sae-byeok grabbed your hand.
"w-wait, where are you going?" she asked, not wanting to be alone.
"i'm just going to get us some pillows and blankets. i'll be right back," you assured her, squeezing her hand reassuringly before padding down the hallway to fetch the items you mentioned.
sae-byeok blushed lightly as you squeezed her hand, but the darkness hid it. she sat down nervously and waited for you to return, feeling anxious by herself.
after a few minutes, you returned with your arms full of blankets and pillows. sae-byeok let out a sigh of relief as you returned. you handed her half of the supplies and began setting up your own area. sae-byeok began prepping her couch, looking over to see what you were doing to set up. she paused and whined when she realized she couldn't see you very well, and definitely wouldn't be able to after the candles were out.
"what is it, sae?" you asked, turning to face her when you heard her whine at you.
"don't wanna be alone..." she mumbled, a bit embarrassed that she was so anxious.
without another word, you grabbed your stuff and approached her, setting it next to her stuff.
"then i'll sleep here," you said, giving her a gentle smile.
"you're okay with that?" she asked, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. you had already done so much for her.
"of course," you said simply. you reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her over to you softly. the two of you sat down together and you began setting up the sleeping area with each other.
after a few minutes, the couch was prepared. you stood up and blew out two of the three candles, then turned to your friend before blowing out the third one.
"will you be okay in the dark?" you asked her.
"yeah," she said unconvincingly. "as long as i'm with you," she added under her breath so that you couldn't hear her.
"alright," you replied, blowing out the last candle. sae-byeok immediately whimpered as the room was plunged into darkness, and you made your way back over to her side as fast as you could, sitting down with her.
sae-byeok rested against you and you put your arm around her shoulder to comfort her. after a few minutes, the two of you laid down on the couch, and sae-byeok immediately cuddled up to you and buried her face in your shoulder.
"there was this one guy," she said suddenly. "his name was deok-su. he almost killed me. he would have if another guy named gi-hun didn't take me into his team," she whined as she remembered how he attacked her before the first game and during the special game.
"hey, hey, don't think about that right now," you whispered to her, running your fingers through her hair. "what matters right now is that you're safe with me. he can't get you here. nobody can."
sae-byeok took a deep breath and let it out slowly, cuddling even closer to you in the process.
"thank you, y/n. for everything," she said softly, forgetting about her fear of the dark now that she was with you. the wind howled by outside, thunder rolled overhead, lightning cracked, and she ignored all of it. in fact, she found an odd comfort in the sound of the rain hitting the exterior wall.
"don't mention it," you said. "you're my friend and i love you," you whispered, pausing when you realized what you said. sae-byeok, however, just smiled and nuzzled into your neck.
"i love you too," she breathed, closing her eyes.
for the first time since escaping from the games, she felt safe. neither of you said anything else, and you began to peacefully fell asleep together as the storm raged on outside, though it was beginning to weaken now. the rolling of thunder was getting quieter, and it was oddly comforting.
today showed you a side of sae-byeok you didn't know existed, and you were now aware that she was vulnerable. you made it your mission to protect her from whatever life dared to throw at her. you looked down at sae-byeok, who had already fallen fast asleep in your arms. you leaned forward and gently kissed the top of her head before you also let the call of sleep pull you in.
the last thing you heard before you fell unconscious was the peaceful breaths of sae-byeok while rain fell against the window outside.
π« soulmate au where everyone is colorblind until they meet their soulmate in-person π«
wordcount: 1.9k
author's note: my first ever shot at writing a soulmate au! i really love this idea and i hope i did it justice. soulmate au ideas/requests are also on the table now so please send them my way if you have them!! β¨ also thank you lovelies for 250 total likes on my blog! it inspires me to keep writing! that's enough rambling, enjoy the story!! ππ
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you let out a sigh as you looked down at your computer. the dull, grey screen stared back at you.
you were unlucky. people usually met their soulmates early in their life, at schools or other places with large gatherings. it was an amazing thing to watch happen, and envied that the people around you could see color while you couldn't every time.
by now, you were well beyond the age when people usually met their soulmates. you were in college, and only 10% of people made it this far without their soulmate.
your heart hurt. what if your soulmate had died or lived overseas or something?
a notification ping from your computer pulled you out of your thoughts. it was a new message from your long-distance friend se-mi. you had met her online one day and the two of you really hit it off, and now you messaged every day. you clicked onto the message.
"hi y/n"
the typing indicator popped up for a moment before a new message came through.
"i'm bored, wanna call?"
it's not like you had anything better to do. you typed back a quick "sure" and soon enough, a call came through on your phone. you hit the join button.
"hiiii," se-mi's voice came through the speaker. you sat back in your chair and smiled, forgetting about your soulmate issues for now. for some strange reason, se-mi's voice always calmed you down.
"hey sem," you replied affectionately.
"guess what?" se-mi said almost instantly. something must have gotten her excited; she was usually much calmer than this.
"what's up?" you asked, curious.
you could almost feel her excitement through the phone. she didn't speak for a few moments to build the anticipation.
"i got accepted into your college!" she finally exclaimed. you paused, not sure that you heard correctly.
"...what?" you asked, your heart beginning to race. se-mi repeated what she said, and then dropped another bomb.
"i'm flying out there tomorrow!" se-mi said, causing a rush of excitement to hit you.
"sem! why didn't you tell me this earlier?!" you asked. you couldn't hide the smile on your face. you were finally going to see your friend after all this time!
"i wanted it to be a surprise~!" se-mi hummed. you could tell she was proud of herself for surprising you like this.
the two of you talked for a few more minutes. you agreed to meet at a local restaurant once she got into the area. you set a time together and talked about logistics for a little while longer until se-mi told you she had to go pack. you said your goodbyes and hung up.
it wasn't as good as finding your soulmate, but at least you'd get the chance to meet someone you were friends with.
you spent the rest of the day thinking about the upcoming meeting. you couldn't believe that the person you had known online for years was going to be attending your school! you had been a bit lonely lately so having a friend around like this would make things easier as well.
you turned on your phone and texted your mutual friend ji-yeong about it. ji-yeong went to the school already - in fact, you had met her there - but was quite busy since she was taking honors classes. the two of you barely had time to hang out due to scheduling issues. you introduced ji-yeong to se-mi online about a year ago and the two of them kept in on-and-off communication.
soon enough, ji-yeong's response came back.
"omg!!"
ji-yeong sent you about four hundred twenty-seven more identical texts. she had always been quick to become excited. you were going to text her back to ask her to stop nuking your phone when a new text came through, followed by three more.
"can i come with??"
"please"
"please"
"please"
you quickly texted back "yeah sure" just so she wouldn't use all your data. your plan backfired when she sent you eighty-five more texts celebrating that you'd let her come with.
you rolled your eyes and muted the conversation for an hour. hopefully she'd be done freaking out by then. you went back to your classwork, wanting to get everything done today so you could have tomorrow off. before you knew it, the day had passed, you had slept, and it was time to meet up with se-mi.
"ji-yeong, come on," you called out, knocking at her dorm door.
"one second! gosh," she replied, causing you to knock at the door harder. she had asked for "one second" half an hour ago.
finally, she came out, ready to go.
"took you long enough," you teased as the two of you began walking to the restaurant where you would meet up with your friend. your phone dinged before ji-yeong could reply. it was a text from se-mi.
"i'll be a bit late, traffic. start without me"
you texted back a simple "okay" and kept walking. you and ji-yeong caught up with each other as you walked, getting each other up to date. before you knew it, you had arrived at the restaurant. you and ji-yeong followed the server back to a table and placed your drink orders.
ji-yeong was rambling about something that you weren't paying too much attention to when an excited shriek rang out through the restaurant. you flinched and turned to see what happened.
two people had seen each other and were studying the world around them in awe, holding hands.
"hm, looks like they're soulmates," ji-yeong commented nonchalantly.
you remembered ji-yeong telling you she had seen tons of people find their soulmates at the school she went to before college, so the sight wasn't anything new to her.
you watched happily and enviously as the newly formed couple's world burst into color. you sighed, which ji-yeong noticed.
"don't get too disheartened. i haven't found mine yet either," ji-yeong said dismissively. she had taken the mentality of "if it happens it happens" which was a mindset you wished you could have.
"i just wonder what it's like," you said. ji-yeong tilted her head at you, prompting you to elaborate. "to see color, i mean."
"i figure it's a lot less grey," she joked. you grinned at that. somehow she knew exactly what to say.
the server came back, applauded the new couple for finding each other, then came to your table to take your order, dropping off your drinks. you and ji-yeong ordered your food and kept talking while you were periodically scanning for se-mi. apparently she had been caught in quite a lot of traffic.
the server brought back your food pretty quickly. you and ji-yeong began eating. after a few minutes, you sighed, looking down at your food. you reached for it to take another bite, but someone else's hand swooped in, stealing it from you.
"hey!" you complained, looking up to the perpetrator.
"you don't mind if i have this too, right?" se-mi's voice came from above. you looked up and saw that she had already eaten the food she just stole. she looked down at you, grinning.
you also saw something else. both you and se-mi froze, and you immediately forgot about the theft that just took place.
"sem, what is wrong with your eyes?" you asked, standing up to get a better view. her grey eyes were developing a brown shade.
"there's nothing wrong with my eyes? what's up with yours??" se-mi retorted, leaning in, blinking a few times. to her, your eyes were becoming a shade of lighter black.
ji-yeong gasped loudly and pressed a hand to her mouth as she figured out what was happening. she whipped out her phone and began recording. other customers at the restaurant turned to look at what all the commotion was about.
you and se-mi stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, trying to figure out what was going on. suddenly, the environment around you lit up with color, the new sight drawing tears to your eyes. you could see everything. se-mi's green clothing, her pale skin, the blush that had found its way to her face.
"you're... you're my soulmate," you breathed, looking around you with wonder at the beauty you had never seen before. a thousand emotions raced through you and you didn't know what to do with any of them.
"y/n, i never thought... it all makes so much sense," se-mi replied, quickly pulling you into a hug. the nearby customers applauded as your souls found each other. ji-yeong was cheering in the background.
"i'm never leaving you, so help me god," you whispered to her. you returned the hug, holding her close. you felt extremely protective of se-mi all of a sudden.
you hugged for a few more moments before se-mi made you sit down at the table. she sat next to you, pulling you against her.
"cmon, the food is getting cold," she said. you rested your head on her shoulder as you resumed eating, trying to ignore ji-yeong's billion questions.
you found yourself infatuated with the ketchup on the table. it was so vibrantly red. you decided you liked colors. se-mi's clothes were a perfect shade of green. se-mi was warm. you pressed closer against her, wanting to be as close to her as possible.
se-mi was also looking down at you with admiration, though she was hiding her feelings a lot better than you were. her hand found yours under the table and she held onto it tightly.
after what felt like an eternity, you had finished your food. you held onto se-mi's arm while ji-yeong stared at both of you with admiration. you couldn't believe se-mi was so calm. you wanted to scream and make the whole world aware that se-mi was your soulmate. eventually, your impatience got the better of you and you stood up, dragging se-mi out of her seat. she stood close to you, holding onto your shoulder.
"we'll be right back, ji-yeong. we need a moment because i seriously think waiting another eight seconds will kill me right here," you rushed out. you pulled se-mi outside of the restaurant before ji-yeong could even process your words. there was nobody outside, perfect.
you turned to face your soulmate, looking up at her. you were stricken with a loss for words as you caught a glimpse of the vibrancy of a nearby tree. se-mi looked down at you, smiling and saying nothing, her body language saying more than enough.
"sem, i- i don't-" you started. se-mi pressed her finger to your mouth, shushing you.
"don't say anything, hm?" she said, dragging her finger down your face to your chin. she tilted your head up to look at her.
the next instant, she leaned down, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips against yours. you felt an immediate sense of peace as you kissed back, your hands finding their way to her shoulders as she placed a hand behind your head to pull you in deeper. all your worries were gone as you kissed se-mi, the only thing that mattered to you now was her.
after a couple moments, she broke the kiss, getting a whine out of you.
"i'll kiss you more later, yeah? don't worry," she reassured you. you nodded, holding onto her arm protectively again.
the two of you returned back to your table with ji-yeong, holding hands under the table. you settled against her while she held you, letting out a sigh of relief and happiness.
it goes without saying that you were extremely grateful to have met se-mi.
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edit: part two to this fic is out now! β¨ click here to read it! β¨
Heyyyy! I hope youβre doing well. I wanted to ask if you could write about the reader being the younger sister of characters (platonic ofc) like Se-mi, Jun-hee, Hyun-ju, and No-eul (if you're comfortable with that). The reader has a chronic illness and was hospitalized throughout her childhood, missing out on elementary and middle school. Now that her condition is better, sheβs excited to start high school. However, on the first day, she doesnβt feel well and ends up passing out, leading to her being rushed to the hospital or home. She feels sad and ends up crying because she canβt attend high school again due to her illness. Iβd love for Se-mi or Jun-hee to comfort her afterward. Something with a mix of angst and fluff would be great! Love your writing, btw<33
by a thread
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angst π
warnings: hospitalization, chronic illness
fem!reader w/ se-mi, jun-hee, and no-eul as sisters
wordcount: 4.3k
author's note: thank you for the request and the kind words!! i love this idea?? this is my first platonic fic and first fic with multiple characters so i hope i did alright β¨ i left out hyun-ju for this one since there were already a lot of characters and i'm more confident for these three, but i'm by no means opposed to writing for her in the future!! also this got like so much longer than i intended it to?? anyway enjoy!! ππ
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the doctors said you should be fine to attend high school once the school year started.
you kept thinking about it, anxious and excited at the same time. you had never attended school formally before - you had to be homeschooled since your heart condition prevented you from doing anything too straining.
you were born with congenital heart disease - specifically, hypoplastic left heart syndrome, which means the left side of your heart is underdeveloped. you spent your childhood in-and-out of the hospital, getting the necessary surgeries. your three lovely sisters - jun-hee, se-mi, and no-eul, helped you through your early years and aided with your homeschooling.
it was a struggle at first, not having a normal childhood. you were dependent on your sisters for most things - you lucked out with them. se-mi and jun-hee had part-time jobs which meant they were home often, and no-eul was taking her college schooling online which meant she was always home. it was embarrassing at first, but you learned to live with it.
you were always grateful for their help. you were prone to fainting if you pushed yourself too hard, and all three of them had done their fair share of catching you when you fell. no-eul was by far the most protective of you, and she insisted on being nearby at all times in case something happened.
jun-hee and se-mi were better at the emotional side of things. they always helped you and comforted you if you were feeling upset, and reminded you that your condition didn't define your worth.
with their help, you made it through middle school homeschooling. at the end of the semester, you went to the hospital to get re-evaluated, and the doctors told you that you were strong enough to attend high school physically if you wanted to.
you were all over the idea. you loved your sisters but you wanted to have a normal childhood as well, and attending high school was the best way to do that. se-mi and jun-hee were fans of the idea, but no-eul was skeptical.
"what if something happens while you're there?" she had asked. "we won't be there to help you."
"i'll be fine, the doctors said so," you insisted.
over the summer, you and your sisters discussed the details and jun-hee helped you get enrolled. on a call with the school, she told them about your condition and asked if there were any special accommodations that could be provided.
the school told you that you could bring someone with for the first couple of weeks in case something happened, and that teachers would be notified as well. no-eul immediately volunteered to go with you, naturally - she was always near you at home.
"umm, no-eul?" se-mi had objected. "i don't know if that's such a good idea.."
"why not?" no-eul replied, her eyes narrowing.
"you kind of have a... reputation at that school." se-mi mused. "i bet people there still remember you."
it was true. no-eul was suspended from the school several times while she was there because she got into fights with people. every time she was sent to the office, they would recognize her and know why she was there. no-eul's short temper and defensive nature meant that every time someone flew too close to the sun, she'd snap at them and a fight would break out. it must have happened dozens of times, honestly it's a miracle she was allowed to graduate.
"that won't be a problem if people leave us alone," no-eul stated. "someone needs to be there to protect y/n. unless one of you wants to take time off work?"
nobody else was able to go because of their jobs, so you were stuck with no-eul. you didn't mind, you had a lot of trust in her because of how much she did for you, you just didn't want her to get in trouble because of you.
eventually, the morning of your first day rolled around. no-eul helped you get ready, packing your bag with you.
"are you sure about this? you'll be a lot more active than you're used to," no-eul said as you packed. "you need to walk a lot. i don't want you passing out on me."
"i'll be alright," you assured her. you weren't sure of that yourself, but you were too excited for high school to let your condition stop you at this point.
no-eul nodded at you, then excused herself to go fetch something from her room. while she was gone, se-mi and jun-hee came up to you.
"you'll do great!" jun-hee said, causing you to smile. "i know you can do this."
"just don't push yourself, yeah?" se-mi added.
you nodded at her. you knew your limits pretty well. and besides, no-eul would be with you. what's the worst that could happen?
jun-hee pulled you into a gentle hug, and you hugged back.
"i'm so proud of you," she whispered.
se-mi grinned and ruffled your hair, getting a complaint from you.
"you're gonna do good things, hm?" se-mi affirmed as jun-hee let you go.
"thank you. both of you," you said shyly as you looked down.
no-eul came back, slipping a folding knife into her pocket. you frowned and went to object, but she stopped you before you could even speak.
"it's for protection only. i don't plan to use it," she said, grabbing your bag for you. "you ready?"
you nodded, saying your goodbyes to jun-hee and se-mi before the two of you got into no-eul's car. she started the car and began the drive while a mix of anxiety and anticipation built up in your chest. no-eul glanced over at you and saw your hands shaking slightly.
"hey, relax." no-eul put her hand over yours to calm you down. "you're going to do fine."
you nodded and took a deep breath, easing your anxiety slightly. you looked out the window as you drove to the start of your new life.
before you knew it, you pulled into the school parking lot and the car parked. no-eul got out and helped you get out before she locked the door, walking with you to the front office.
no-eul pulled open the door, holding it open for you as you went into the office. the secretary smiled at you as you came in, getting an uncertain smile from you. her gaze flicked over your shoulder to no-eul as she came inside as well, her form wavering.
"ah, no-eul, what a surprise..!" the secretary said, clearly unsure why the problem student was back.
"i'm here to accompany her," no-eul said, her voice cold and informative now that you were in public. "school said i could."
"ah, alright, and who might this be?" the secretary turned her attention to you as you said your name. she looked you up in the system, reading your information.
"well you're all signed up and good to go on our end! have a great day," the secretary confirmed, allowing you and no-eul access into the building. you followed behind her, looking around at all the unfamiliar sights while keeping close to her. no-eul checked back on you several times to make sure you were alright, you giving an affirmation every time.
"stay behind me," she muttered as she slowly walked forwards, her eyes locked on a specific student who was putting things away in his locker. the sounds of your footsteps got his attention and he looked up, grinning when he saw no-eul and standing up.
"well, look who it is!" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and mockery. you clung close to your sister, not sure what was happening. no-eul tried to ignore him and walk past, but he blocked the way.
"move," no-eul said harshly. "now."
"how rude, you aren't going to give me any attention since last time we met?" he smirked, stepping closer. no-eul's hand automatically went into her pocket, gripping her knife. "don't think i forgot what you did. i still have the scar."
"it's not my fault you instigated a fight with me. now get out of our way," no-eul ordered him. at the mention of 'our', he looked behind her and grinned wider when he saw you.
"oh, who's this? is she gonna stab me too?" he took a step towards you, immediately causing no-eul to block the way.
"leave her alone." no-eul's voice was dark, and you'd never heard her like this before. as soon as the kid was about to argue, a teacher rounded the corner which made him suddenly a lot less confident.
"don't test me, kang no-eul," he said as he turned and walked away.
"same goes to you," no-eul called after him, watching him leave before turning to you to make sure you were alright.
your heart pounded in your chest, slowly returning to a normal rate. you were a bit confused and anxious, but otherwise alright. no-eul's expression softened as she spoke.
"are you alright? don't worry about him, he has a grudge against me," she explained, softly squeezing your shoulder reassuringly.
"who... who was that? and why was he so upset..? did he say you stabbed him?" you asked, wanting to know the details.
"i'll tell you later. right now we need to get you to class so you can sit down, hm? come on, let's go," no-eul said, moving towards your classroom again. you followed behind her, beginning to pant slightly as you made your way into the classroom. you sat down at your desk and caught your breath while no-eul hovered near you, keeping a close eye on you.
"you good?" she asked, watching as you took deep breaths to get enough oxygen.
"yeah, i-i'm fine. just need a second," you confirmed as your breathing slowly went back to normal.
a few of the kids that came into the class looked at no-eul suspiciously, making you uneasy. her legacy was still going strong through rumors and stories. on the positive side, hopefully nobody would try to mess with you while she was around. no-eul ignored the looks herself, not concerned in the slightest.
about ten minutes later, the teacher came in, doing a double take as they saw no-eul, but then the lesson began. it wasn't anything crazy since it was the first day of school, it was pretty much just an overview of classroom expectations and what would be covered in the class. you were fully engaged the full time, loving how a classroom setting felt in comparison to homeschooling.
before you knew it, the class was over and it was time to go to the next one. this one was all the way across the entire school, so you had plenty of time to gush to no-eul about how interesting and different the experience was.
no-eul was glad you were enjoying it, and she was beginning to loosen up a bit herself. while you were following behind her, you suddenly began to feel a bit dizzy. you went over to the nearest wall and leaned back against it, trying to orient yourself.
no-eul was suddenly back on high alert. she held onto your arm to support you.
"y/n, you alright?" she asked, her voice gentle but clearly worried.
wanting to prove that you could handle it, you made yourself stand up straight.
"i'm alright-" you started. your heart began pounding in your chest and you fell back against the wall, weakly catching yourself with no-eul's help.
you saw no-eul speaking, but you couldn't understand the words as a sharp ringing drowned out all other sounds. your vision darkened at the edges. you didn't even notice yourself suddenly gasping for breath.
the last thing you saw before collapsing was no-eul rushing to grab you. everything went black as you roughly hit the linoleum floor.
you groggily opened your eyes, feeling a complete sense of disconnect. you had no idea how long it had been since you collapsed. your vision was blurry, and all you could hear was the beeping of a heart rate monitor in time with your heartbeat.
you brought your hand up to your eyes and rubbed them, clearing the blurriness away. you saw jun-hee leaning over you, and you were in a very familiar place - a hospital room.
"what happened..?" you asked, going to sit up. jun-hee placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you.
"you collapsed at school and no-eul brought you here. se-mi's on her way."
you tried to remember what happened. suddenly, you were aware of a sharp pain at the back of your head and you tensed up.
"i don't remember that.. did i hit my head or something?" you mumbled, embarrassed.
"no-eul said you did, yeah. why, does it hurt?" jun-hee asked, clearly worried. she turned your head to the side and moved your hair out of the way, examining you.
"a bit..." you whined, looking over at the heart rate monitor and other equipment you were hooked up to. "i thought i was fine."
jun-hee combs her fingers through your hair, both to fix it and to calm you down a bit.
"no-eul said you did really good for a while! that's progress, isn't it?" jun-hee says, wanting to focus on the positive.
"i guess," you say, dejected. "where's no-eul now? i don't see her anywhere."
you tried to sit up again to get a better look at the room but jun-hee didn't let you again. you whined in protest, getting a look of sympathy from your sister.
"don't push yourself, you just woke up. and no-eul ran home quick to grab you some things, she'll be back any minute." jun-hee softly massaged your shoulders as you sank back into the uncomfortable hospital bed.
you turned your head away from jun-hee, sulking. this isn't where you wanted to be today. you were supposed to be at school like everyone else. now you've messed up your sisters' days and made them have to look after you like always. you could feel a tear welling up in your eye, which jun-hee definitely noticed.
"y/n, what's wrong?" jun-hee's voice got softer as she turned your head so you'd look at her. she looked down at you with concern.
"nothing," you sniffled, wiping your eyes clear. you had already been enough of a nuisance today, you didn't need jun-hee spending her emotional energy on you too.
jun-hee knew how you could get sometimes. she didn't push the matter, instead opting to silently stroke your hair and rub your shoulders. it always helped you calm down.
you sat in silence with your sister for a few minutes before the door to your room basically exploded open like a tornado wanted to get inside. you and jun-hee flinched as you looked towards the door. se-mi hurried inside, coming directly over to you and kneeling down to your level.
"y/n! are you okay? are you hurt? do you need anything?" se-mi rushed out, looking over you and checking for injuries. ever since you collapsed while holding a plate and had to get stitches from the resulting injuries, se-mi was very easy to scare when she heard you had fainted.
"i'm fine, se-mi," you assured her. you took a breath and wiped your eyes again, trying to hide your tears from her so she wouldn't get even more worried.
"are you sure? here, sit up," se-mi said, moving to help you sit upright, much to jun-hee's dismay. jun-hee reluctantly let you sit up, keeping a close eye on you.
the next thing you knew, se-mi had pulled you into a hug.
"i was so worried, y/n. thank god no-eul was with you, hm?" she whispered, holding you tightly.
"se-mi, that's enough. she needs to rest," jun-hee objected. se-mi reluctantly let you go as you rested back against the headrest of your bed.
you looked at your two sisters, suddenly unable to keep fighting back your tears.
"i'm so sorry," you said, a tear rolling down your cheek. a suddenly very distressed se-mi and jun-hee both pulled you into a hug at the same time. you leaned against se-mi as you began to cry, everything being too much for you.
"y/n, nobody's blaming you," jun-hee said, her hands already working at your hair to soothe you.
"talk to me, hm? what's wrong?" se-mi asked, holding you protectively.
"you guys needed to take time out of your days to come here for me," you started, your crying making it hard to talk. "a-and now you're stuck looking after me, and-" your speech was interrupted by your throat refusing to let you talk more, you only managing to choke out sobs.
"y/n, don't you ever feel guilty for that," jun-hee said softly, keeping her voice low. "we all care about you and want you to be okay, if that means we need to dedicate time to you, that's okay," she affirmed. you closed your eyes, feeling her fingers run through your hair.
"say it," se-mi said. "say it for me, yeah? you're strong."
"i'm s-strong," you managed to say through tears.
"yes, very good," se-mi praised. "you're strong and you won't let this stop you."
you faintly smiled at that, leaning against se-mi as she held you. your sisters were always so kind to you. you took a deep breath, trying to get your emotions under control. your sobs eased up a bit.
"you know something, y/n?" jun-hee asked. you turned to look at her, and she reached out and wiped your tears away. "the fact you're still here proves you're strong. even though you're sick, you push through it. i'm proud to be your sister."
you wanted to believe her - jun-hee had never lied to you before - but right now you felt like a horrible person. you shook your head in disbelief.
"you're just saying that to make me feel better," you whimpered, calmer now but still upset and fragile.
"i mean it," jun-hee insisted. you went to argue again but se-mi stopped you.
"i feel that way too, you know," se-mi said. "you're probably the bravest person i know."
you didn't know what to say. what did you do to deserve having such nice people in your life? all you could do was lean against se-mi and jun-hee while they held and comforted you. it was nice, for a while.
that's when you had a bad realization.
"u-um," you started nervously. "i don't suppose i can... go back to school..?" you asked hopefully, though you knew what the answer was.
"y/n..." se-mi began, empathizing with you. "honestly, no. you fainted before you got halfway through the day, and no-eul can't be there the whole year with you. it's not safe for you to go..."
you felt the tears you worked so hard to get rid of return to your eyes. just like that, your one dream was gone for reasons outside of your control. you tried to fight off your tears but they overpowered you and you found yourself sobbing again.
"y/n-" jun-hee tried to say something, but you cut her off.
"i-it's not f-fair," you sobbed out, desperately holding onto se-mi and jun-hee. "e-everyone else gets to, but i c-cant because of my stupid condition." you were barely able to be understood, you were a complete mess.
se-mi held you close to her and rubbed your back in small circles while jun-hee brushed your hair out of your face, getting it how you liked it.
"i know, i know," jun-hee started, trying her best to soothe you. "but with our options, it wouldn't be safe for you, i'm sorry."
you whined at her, fighting to control your emotions. the heart rate monitor began to beep faster as your pulse elevated.
"hey hey, deep breaths, yeah? you're okay, we got you," se-mi murmured to you. you nodded and took a shaky deep breath, exhaling hard. "that's good. a few more, hm?"
"why did it have to be me..?" you whimpered in between breaths, your tears absorbing into se-mi's shirt.
"shh, we've got you." jun-hee straightened your hair with her fingers, doing what she could to calm you.
you voiced a few more complaints as you could, but most of your energy was focused on trying to soothe yourself and fight your emotions. it took several minutes and many words of encouragement and praise from your sisters, but you eventually managed to stop your sobs.
se-mi wiped a rogue tear away with her thumb, looking down at you empathetically.
"you know we'll help you through school even if you can't attend physically," jun-hee said. you tilted your head to look over at her, giving her a weak and uncertain look.
"but i want to attend like everyone else," you whined at her.
"i know, i know. but you can't, so we need to make due, okay?" jun-hee gave you a hopeful smile which you tried your best to mimic.
"...okay," you said. you weren't happy about it, but complaining at your sisters wasn't going to change that.
your attention was brought to the door as there was a knock. the door swung open as no-eul walked in, holding a bag full of your things.
"no-eul," you said, wanting her attention. she turned to you after setting the bag down on the floor.
"how are you feeling?" she asked you, assessing you. "you took a pretty hard fall back there. you're lucky i could catch you in time."
"no-eul, i'm so sorry, thank you for being there for me." you looked at her with gratitude, knowing that if she wasn't there, it could have gone much worse.
"don't mention it," she said, shrugging it off as usual. "here, you'll need this."
she pulled your laptop out of the bag and set it down next to you. you looked down at it, confused.
"i... will?" you asked, looking at se-mi and jun-hee for clarification. neither of them had an answer for you.
"well, the doctors want to keep you here for a few days to make sure everything's alright. ah... se-mi, jun-hee, you broke the news right?"
"yeah. she didn't like it, but she knows," se-mi affirmed, nodding. you felt jun-hee's hand slide down to your shoulder comfortingly.
"good, thanks. well, i called the school and they said they can provide accommodations for you," no-eul said. she approached you, pulling over a chair and sitting down to get level with you.
"accommodations? what like?" you asked, failing to hide the hope in your voice. se-mi and jun-hee looked down at you and then to no-eul, interested. jun-hee was prepared to object if no-eul said anything about going back.
"well, you can't attend in-person, as we found out," no-eul stated. you whined in protest, and she reached forward and held onto your arm. "i know. but, ever since covid, they've been offering online attendance. i had the office clear it with your teachers and they said you can attend class fully online. i know it's not the same, but-"
"wait really?" you looked at her in disbelief, a feeling of happiness and relief filling you. "no-eul, i- thank you so much!"
internally, no-eul breathed a sigh of relief that you were happy with this. she knew how much you wanted to attend school like everyone else and was afraid having to go remotely would upset you.
"hm, look at that," se-mi said, playing with your hair like jun-hee always does. "i guess every cloud has a silver lining, hm?"
"no-eul, you should have told us this sooner," jun-hee complained, though she was visibly happy for you as well. she found your hand and squeezed it softly. "does that work for you?" she asked, relieved that you wouldn't have to push yourself.
you nodded eagerly. even though it wasn't physical attendance, it beat no attendance at all by a mile. you dried your eyes off, unsure how to express your gratitude. as if reading your mind, no-eul spoke up.
"you don't need to thank me, it's really the least i could do. plus, now we'll be attending schools the same way," she said. "honestly, i'm not sure i would have liked you going alone with my reputation there."
you composed yourself, gently pulling yourself away from jun-hee and se-mi. you indicated to no-eul that you wanted a hug and she complied, pretending not to like it, though you knew that deep down she cared about you a lot.
you wrapped your arms around her, whispering to her.
"thank you so much, i mean it."
after a few moments, no-eul pulled away, softly smiling at you. in her typical fashion, she gave you a polite nod of appreciation and respect. you went to open your laptop, but se-mi stopped you.
"y/n, take it easy, huh? the school day is over now anyway," she reminded you.
"besides, you need to rest right now," jun-hee added.
"right..." you set the laptop off to the side, looking at your three sisters with gratitude. "thank you all, seriously. i'm so lucky to have all of you."
no-eul didn't say anything, but you saw a smile flicker on her face for a moment. se-mi and jun-hee pulled you into another hug, holding you gently.
"i'm proud of you," se-mi said. "i told you, hm? you're strong."
"you'll do great, i know it," jun-hee added. "we can always help if you need us to as well, you just need to ask."
you let your sisters hold you for a few moments before you freed yourself.
"um... don't you guys need to be places right now?" you asked, feeling a bit guilty again that they were here instead of anywhere else.
se-mi, jun-hee, and no-eul exchanged a look for a moment before they all looked at you.
"no way," se-mi said. "right now, we're all staying right here with you."
author's note: i actually almost cried like twice while i was writing this. this came out so much better than i expected it to β¨
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it had been a week since you died. your funeral was today. your girlfriend didn't attend. she couldn't force herself to. while your friends and family were out mourning at your grave, ji-yeong was mourning in your shared home.
she was stuck sobbing on the couch, swiping through the photos you and her took together while you were together. she had been longingly looking at them for hours now. she didn't notice the time that had passed. all she wanted was to hear your voice again. for you to be there with her to comfort her and tell her everything was okay, that it was all just a bad dream.
life wasn't so kind.
she closed her eyes as she swiped to a picture the two of you took at a beach you had snuck onto at midnight. she smiled as she remembered how you would lightly sing to her as you walked, feeling the waves against your skin. her smile died as she remembered that wouldn't ever happen again. tears poured down her face, her shirt already soaked in them.
"god, i... i miss you y/n... so much..." she choked out.
a cold feeling overcame her, like the air conditioner had turned on. she shivered and pulled into herself more, making her smaller. she wanted to disappear. she closed the photos and opened your text messages.
~~~~~
1 week ago
my love
ji-yeong i'm stopping at the store, do you need anything
ji-yeong
can you pick up bananas? we're out
my love
didn't i just get those
ji-yeong
sorry i ate them all
got hungry
~~~~
she shakily typed into the keyboard and clicked send.
~~~~
ji-yeong
i miss you
~~~~
you were never a believer in the paranormal or the afterlife while you were alive. after you had died in that car crash, you thought that was it. that's why you were so confused when you woke up watching the scene from above.
you had become a ghost.
you had instinctively made your way back to your home to watch over your girlfriend. you watched as she got the news, followed her as she rushed on scene, and observed while she wept when you were pronounced dead.
you watched as she mourned. any sense of peace you had was gone seeing your girlfriend in such turmoil. you hoped she would be able to move on quickly, but she wasn't taking it well.
you watched as she cried every day for hours, looking at memories of you.
"ji-yeong," you tried to call out, floating over to her. she couldn't hear you. you flinched as you heard a notification go off from your own pocket. you had a phone with a new text from ji-yeong.
'i miss you'
you looked to her with a sad smile as she shut her phone off, your own tears dissolving as they left your spectral body.
"i miss you too, love."
you sat next to her on the couch as she stared into blank space, not moving. you reached out and tried rubbing her shoulder, but your hand phased through her. she shivered and curled herself up into a ball.
she had barely eaten since she found out the news, which concerned you. there wasn't anything you could do about it now besides watch.
you stood up from the couch, looking down at ji-yeong before moving into the kitchen. all the food was still here, just like how you left it. there were still groceries in shopping bags on the floor, no doubt spoiled by now. your heart hurt as more sobbing came from the living room.
"there must be something i can do..." you thought, returning to your heartbroken girlfriend's side. you placed your hand over hers, clipping through it like before, though she shivered again.
"can you feel me?" you asked aloud. you didn't get a response, of course not. she couldn't hear you.
experimentally, you tried to lie down next to her. you watched as she reached above her and pulled a blanket down over her, burying her face in it as she cried.
watching her mourn like this wasn't helping. you returned to the kitchen and looked around, searching for anything you could do to let her know you were still with her. your eyes landed on an abandoned banana on the table, thinking back to when she ate every banana in the house for lunch. you tried to touch it but your hand went right through it.
"but she could feel me..." you muttered to yourself. you focused as hard as you could and tried to push it. to your complete surprise, it moved an inch. over the course of several minutes, you pushed it enough to knock it off the table and onto the hardwood floor with a thud. you looked over to the living room and saw ji-yeong jump and look your direction.
she wiped her tears off her face and slowly stood up, pacing over to investigate. she saw the banana lying on the floor and froze, looking around. you swore she looked right at you for a second before she picked up the banana off the ground and tossed it in the trash.
"you need to eat, love..." you said to her as she passed through you. she collapsed against the couch again and stared up at the ceiling, not moving.
you sat next to her for the next few hours as she did nothing. eventually she began to drift off to sleep as it got dark outside, not having the energy to move to her bed. she looked so peaceful when she slept, a stark difference from her sadness while awake. you found yourself falling asleep too - not out of necessity, ghosts don't need to sleep - but out of emotional exhaustion. the pain you felt as a ghost wasn't anything close to what ji-yeong must be feeling, but seeing her like this took its toll.
you woke up many hours later to the sound of running water in the bathroom, and you drifted over to the sound. the clock on the wall informed you that it was 2 in the morning. you frowned as you saw ji-yeong filling a cup from the sink.
"we have bottled water, babe," you muttered under your breath. ji-yeong turned and walked past you, taking her cup back to her room. you followed her, passing through the door that she closed on you. you watched as she turned on the light and sank onto her bed, setting the cup down on her nightstand.
ji-yeong paused as she looked over to her nightstand, seeing her favorite picture of you framed - a gift you had gotten her shortly before you died. tears welled up in her eyes as she grabbed it and looked down at it, pulling it over to her. you sat with her for what felt like forever as she stared at the picture, light cries turning heavy. you tried to talk to her, tell her it's okay, but she couldn't hear a thing.
she slowly grabbed her laptop from off the floor and pulled it open. she hesitated as she was faced with the password screen. you looked down at the keyboard, your heart shattering as she typed your name into the password box and hit the enter key. she had always refused to tell you what it was.
she took a shaky breath and dried her eyes with her sleeves, opening a search engine and typing "how to cope with the death of your partner". she scrolled through the articles that came up while you watched her, very clearly seeing that this wasn't helping. you stood up and made your way over to the light switch.
"if i could interact with that banana, then maybe..." you thought to yourself, focusing as hard as you could before flipping the switch.
ji-yeong jumped as the room suddenly went dark. the illumination of her screen lit up her face, and you could see the fear in her eyes. it wasn't your intention to scare her, you just wanted to let her know you were here.
"hello?" she called out in a shaky voice, her eyes darting around the room frantically. you wished you could respond, but your voice wouldn't be heard even if you tried. you watched in silence as she stood up and walked over, flipping the switch back on.
"what the hell..." she whispered to herself, shaking as she was flooded with adrenaline. you felt bad for scaring her this bad, but at least she knew something wasn't right.
ji-yeong trudged back over to her bed after a moment and sat back down, continuing to bleakly stare at the articles. you sat with her, leaning your head on her shoulder. she shivered and pulled her blanket around her.
"so she can feel me..." you murmured to yourself.
you watched as ji-yeong opened a new tab and stared at the search bar, no ideas coming to mind. you got an idea and concentrated, managing to type an "h" into the search bar.
ji-yeong flinched as the letter suddenly appeared.
"what the actual fuck..." she breathed, looking around the room before pressing the backspace button, causing you to deflate.
"come on!" you exclaimed. you tried to type the letter again but nothing worked. frustrated, you slapped your hand against the keyboard. ji-yeong recoiled as "hfoedm;" appeared on the screen.
that is absolutely not what you wanted to type. you huffed as ji-yeong slammed the laptop shut and curled up in her bed, her back firmly against the wall.
"sorry, love," you whispered to her, naturally getting no reaction. you didn't want to scare her any more, so you sat on the bed and watched as she eventually fell back asleep. you sighed and found yourself falling asleep soon after, this time feeling exhausted physically. you figured that interacting with physical objects took a lot of energy.
the next thing you knew, you woke up, the bed having a distinct absence of ji-yeong. you looked around and saw that her door was open now, and you made your way out into the living room where you saw her opening some sort of box. the clock on the wall told you it was 11 am.
your attention turned to the box she had. you got closer and read the label aloud.
"the ultimate ouija- ji-yeong!" you chided.
while you were still asleep, ji-yeong went to the store and bought an ouija board. there were too many weird things happening, and she was suspicious and hopeful.
you watched as she set it up on the floor, kneeling down in front of it. she put her hand on the freaky triangle piece.
"hello?" she called out. you suddenly felt a strange sense of urgency, which brought you over to the board. you experimentally poked at it and smiled when it moved with ease.
you spelled out "hello," ji-yeong staring down at it in disbelief the entire time.
"um... hi?" she said. "i didn't think it would actually work..."
she thought for a moment. "so were you the one who did all that weird stuff yesterday?"
you moved the triangle over to the "yes" option, causing ji-yeong to close her eyes and nod.
"okay, so i'm not delusional," she quipped. you smiled softly as the ji-yeong you knew showed herself a bit. "oh, uh... who are you?" she asked, looking down at the board.
you paused for a moment before slowly spelling out your name. she said nothing when you finished, just staring at the final letter. tears welled up in her eyes which made you panic and start moving the triangle all over the place.
"woah, hang on, i can't see it..." she said shakily, wiping her eyes off. "okay... go."
"i'm here to watch over you," you spelled out.
a tear rolled down ji-yeong's cheek as you spelled your message. she began lightly crying as you spelled out "it will be okay."
"n-no, it won't be okay, y/n," she cried, her voice pained. "i miss you so fucking much..."
you moved the triangle again, spelling out "i miss you too."
"why did it have to be you?!" she sobbed, tears landing against the floor. "it should have been me, you don't deserve to be dead..."
you wrapped your spectral arms around her, and she shivered. "are you hugging me? it's cold as fucking ice..."
you dragged the triangle over to "yes." she smiled sadly as she cried.
"i love you, you know..." she whimpered. "even if you're dead."
you spelled out "i love you too," which caused her to begin crying harder all over again. before you could spell anything else, she suddenly slammed the triangle down to "goodbye," and you couldn't interact with it anymore.
you watched as she cried to herself, her head resting against her knees. you moved over to her and sat with her for an hour while she cried. you tried to reach for her, but your vision went black without any warning, and her cries faded away into the darkness.
"ji-yeong?!" you shouted into the void, looking around. all you could see was darkness.
a feeling of frigid cold overcame you. your heart began to race.
"no, i... i want to stay with her, i-" you stumbled over your words, panicking.
suddenly, a skeletal figure wearing a black robe and holding a scythe faded into view. you recognized it as the grim reaper, the embodiment of death.
"you shouldn't be here," it said, pointing its scythe at you. its voice was scratchy, grating against your ears.
"what..?" you asked, confused. "where's ji-yeong? i want to stay with her," you insisted.
"don't go anywhere this time," it said to you. before you could say anything back or ask for clarification, your vision faded to a blurry white.
you blinked a few times, your vision clearing as you saw the white develop a strangely familiar off-white shade.
"wait, no," you muttered to yourself. "that's the ceiling!"
you sat up, seeing yourself back in your room. you looked down and saw your physical body, wearing the same clothes you had on the day you died. in a hurry, you snatched your phone off your nightstand and checked the date.
it was the day you died.
tears ran down your face as you pinched yourself, making sure you weren't dreaming. you rushed to your door and raced out to the living room, where ji-yeong was sitting on the couch on her phone.
she looked up at you as you ran out. "good morning- woah, y/n, are you okay?" she stood up, concerned when she saw your tears. you rushed to her and pulled her into a hug.
"ji-yeong..." you sobbed into her shoulder as you gripped her tightly. you felt her arms go around you as she rubbed your back.
"babe, what's wrong?" she murmured to you.
"i love you so much..." you whispered to her, burying your face in her neck.
"i love you too, babe- what is going on?" she asked, extremely confused why you were acting like you hadn't seen her for a week. you pulled yourself together and took a deep breath.
"nothing, i'm fine, i just-" you searched your mind for an excuse that wouldn't make you sound like a crazy person. "i missed you."
"you saw me last night..?" she asked, pulling away and grabbing you by the shoulders gently.
"i know, just... don't let me go anywhere today. i'm not driving anywhere." you insisted, wiping your tears away.
ji-yeong planted a kiss on your forehead. "you're being weird, but okay," she said, looking at you with concern. "are you sure you're alright?"
"i'm fine now, i promise," you said, unable to pull your eyes away from her.
"allllright then..." she smiled, giggling. "you're always so crazy, babe."
ji-yeong pulled you back into another hug, making sure you're alright. it's not often that you ran crying to her. you held onto her as tight as you could, afraid that if you let go, you'd go back to being a ghost.
"so if you aren't going anywhere today, wanna watch a movie or something?" she asked, extracting herself from your death grip.
"yes please," you said almost immediately. you weren't going to be driving anywhere for a long time, but today you really needed an excuse not to.
"alright love," she said, sitting down on the couch with you and picking up the remote. you cuddled as close as you could to her as she flipped through some available movies. you laid your head on her shoulder as she picked one, closing your eyes as her arm went around you.
"i swear to god that i'll never leave your side again," you whispered under your breath, quiet enough that she couldn't hear. you sighed contentedly as ji-yeong started absentmindedly rubbing your shoulder while the movie started.
author's note: i really like how this turned out! i hope you do too β¨ be sure to read savior pt. 1 before this so it makes sense! i didn't proofread this one yet so sorry if there's mistakes!
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you were harshly woken up by a triangle guard shaking your shoulders. you jumped as your instincts told you to fight back, though the memories came back quickly and you relaxed. the guard woke sae-byeok up in the same manner before opening the van door.
"out," he ordered.
you were more than happy to comply, you didn't want to see those guards any longer than you had to. you got out first and held out your hand to sae-byeok and she took it, you helping her out of the van and holding her while she got situated on her feet. she went right back to leaning against you, biting down on her lip to keep quiet as pain shot through her side due to the cut she suffered.
"um." you approached the van slightly, causing the guard to look up at you. "where's our stuff? like our phones?"
the guard reached into the driver's seat and wordlessly handed you a plastic bag with two phones in it. you took it from him and he quickly shut the van door before you could say anything else. before you knew it, the van was speeding away.
sae-byeok coughed a few times next to you, causing you to look down at her as she held onto her side. "do you know where we are?" she asked you as she looked around, not recognizing the area herself.
you shook your head. "no, but with any luck..." you took your phone out from the bag and handed sae-byeok hers as well, then you turned yours on. the screen lit up, telling you that you had 37% battery remaining.
"i might not know where we are, but google maps does." you opened the navigation app and plugged in the address to your apartment, the screen informing you that it was a 3 hour walk. sae-byeok was looking at your phone as it calculated the optimal route.
"not happening," she told you.
you nodded to her, knowing that trying to walk that distance would be too much for her right now. fortunately you lived in a busy city which meant there were tons of taxis out looking for business. you called a taxi and helped sae-byeok in before getting in yourself. you told the driver the address and they started driving.
sae-byeok let out a sigh of relief as she was able to relax, still choosing to lean against you.
"you know we aren't walking anymore right? you don't have to use me for support," you told her, mostly joking to try to lighten the mood and distract both of you from the horrors you just went through.
"i know," sae-byeok said simply. her response sounded distant somehow, and it seemed like she had something else on her mind.
"are you alright?" you asked her, concerned. she looked over at you for a moment before looking back out the window.
"i'm fine." you waited for her to elaborate but no more words were spoken.
"you don't sound fine..." you objected. "i just want to make sure you're okay. you've been through a lot."
"so have you," she said. "i don't want to talk about it right now."
that was fair, you thought. your hand found sae-byeok's arm and slowly travelled down it, placing your hand over hers. she didn't object. her mind seemed to be in another place, so you decided not to disturb her. she could use all the rest she could get right now.
the two of you rode in the taxi in silence until it pulled up to your apartment building. you tapped on sae-byeok's wrist, causing her to open her eyes.
"we're here," you whispered to her.
she nodded and sat up straight. you took off your phone case and took out the money you kept hidden in it, paying for the taxi, then you opened the door and helped sae-byeok out like before. she stumbled a bit as she got to her feet and you quickly caught her, holding onto her protectively.
"you're okay, we're almost there," you assured her. she just nodded and grimaced, taking the pain as you both begin walking to the apartment building slowly.
you pushed the door open and held it for sae-byeok as she limped her way into the building. as soon as you could, you re-established support for her which she automatically accepted. luckily you lived on the bottom floor, so it was just a small walk to your door. you entered the combination passcode and you both went inside, the door closing behind you with a thud.
sae-byeok made a beeline for your couch and you helped her get over to it. she collapsed against it, exhaling shakily. you looked down at her in concern for a second before turning to get medical supplies from your bathroom.
"wait," she said as you turned to leave. you turned back to her, cocking your head to one side curiously.
"hm?" you knelt down slightly to get level with her. "what's up?"
"why..?" she began, her voice wavering. "why did you... save me? you threw away all that money for me... why?"
you smiled softly at her. "you've been nothing but nice to me since i met you in that hellhole. i wouldn't have made it as far as i did without you."
you saw her eyes begin to tear up as you spoke and you leaned forward, gently grabbing her by the shoulders. you looked into her eyes sincerely.
"no matter how much money they had put in that piggy bank, it wouldn't be enough to replace you," you spoke.
a tear fell down sae-byeok's face and you slowly wiped it away. you could tell she wasn't used to getting affection. you planned to change that, though you needed to deal with her wound first. you pulled away from her, causing her to whine softly.
"stay here, alright? i'll be right back," you told her gently. when she nodded, you stood up and went to your bathroom.
you grabbed isopropyl alcohol and a washcloth to clean her cut, then grabbed some gauze as well. you ran the washcloth under the sink for a moment before applying isopropyl alcohol to it, then you returned to sae-byeok.
she was crying lightly. your heart broke in half and you hurried over to her side, setting down the supplies on the couch next to her and crouching down.
"honey, what's the matter?" you softly asked her, tilting her head up to look at you.
"i-i'm sorry..." she said through tears, her voice strained. "i don't... i can't understand why you'd save me." she took a shaky breath in as you got closer to her, sitting down next to her and wrapping your arm around her in a side-hug. "you had so much money and you chose a stranger over it all."
"sweetie." you held her tighter, causing her to rest against you. "you aren't a stranger to me. in that place, i saw an amazing girl. you were kind, smart, and determined. you chose to help me. i owe you my life. i wouldn't have been able to live with myself if i let you die."
"i owe you my life too," she said as she cried. "you saved me."
"then we'll call it even," you said. she laughed slightly, causing you to smile. you held her for a few more minutes as she wordlessly worked through her feelings with her tears, wiping them away for her occasionally. eventually, she took a breath, more stable now. you had a feeling that she'd been keeping her emotions bottled up inside for a while as well.
"you okay?" you murmured to her, squeezing her shoulder softly.
"i think so," she said softly.
you stood up and knelt in front of her, grabbing the supplies off the couch. you untied the knot holding the jacket covering her wound in place and took it off from around her, leaving her bloodstained shirt still in place. you looked up at her.
"shirt off please," you requested. she looked away as she began taking her shirt off, struggling a bit. you helped her get it over her head, leaving her in her bra for now, giving you direct access to her wound. dried blood covered her side around it.
"we're gonna need to get you a shower at some point. right now i just need to clean the wound, alright?"
sae-byeok nodded at you and you gently pressed the washcloth against the cut. she flinched and whimpered, making you pause immediately and look up at her.
"are you okay?" you removed the washcloth from her and she relaxed.
"it stings.." she complained, her voice small.
"sorry," you apologized. "i need to clean this so you don't get an infection. i'll be gentle, alright? hold onto my shoulder if you need to."
sae-byeok nodded and grabbed onto your shoulder. you placed the washcloth back against her and begin to slowly wipe the blood off of her body. she whined and held you tighter, gritting her teeth. you looked up at her apologetically and kept going, knowing the sooner you were finished, the sooner it would stop hurting.
as you got the dried blood off and began wiping down the wound directly, she whimpered loudly. "hold on, stop for a second," she breathed out, grabbing your wrist.
"sorry, too much?" you pulled your hand away from her as she caught her breath slightly.
"just hurts a lot," she muttered. "give me a second."
you nodded at her and softly rubbed her leg in the meantime, providing some sense of comfort as she recovered. after a minute or so, she released your wrist from her grip.
"make it quick," she said, holding your shoulder tightly. "please."
you got back to work, sae-byeok holding you a little tighter with each pass. after you had whispered several apologies and assurances, you pulled the washcloth away and she relaxed.
you then got out the gauze and began to wrap it around her to cover her wound. the makeshift bandage had mostly stopped the bleeding, but it was still good to have it covered. you wrapped it around her tightly without it being so tight as to hurt her. she didn't complain this time, just watching you work.
finally, you finished patching her up. you smiled at her and she looked at you with appreciation.
"thank you," she said softly. you stood up and leaned to her, hugging her for a moment.
"you're welcome," you said, gently pulling away. i'm gonna get everything put away.
you checked your phone. 9pm. it was getting late. as if on cue, sae-byeok stifled a yawn.
"you should rest, hon. you've been through a lot. you deserve some quality sleep," you said softly. sae-byeok nodded.
"can i sleep here?" she had already lied down by the time she finished asking her question.
you nodded at her wordlessly and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before turning and going over to the light switch. you shut the light off, leaving the only remaining light the natural light which cast a soft moonlight glow on sae-byeok on the couch.
"goodnight," you called out.
"..night," sae-byeok responded.
your gaze lingered on her for a moment before you slipped back into the bathroom, quickly putting away the medical supplies. you then headed to your room, falling over onto your bed as the stress from the last few days took over you mind and body. it didn't take long for you to fall asleep for the second time that day, your worries of not waking up in the morning now no longer of concern.
you were asleep for a few hours when you were awoken by a knock at your bedroom door. you blinked and sat up, listening.
"...y/n?" sae-byeok called through the door in a pained voice. "i can't sleep..."
the hurt in sae-byeok's voice got you out of bed in a hurry. you rushed over to the door and opened it, turning the light to your room on. you saw sae-byeok fighting back tears, a hopeless expression in her eyes.
you quickly pulled her into a tight hug, her hugging back weakly. "what's wrong?" you murmured to her, knowing there was a deeper issue beyond a lack of sleep.
"you could have had a much better life than this and it's all my fault," she whined as her tears begin to soak into your shirt. "now you're stuck looking after me."
"no, sae-" you started, but she cut you off.
"you should have just killed me."
her words scared you. you pulled away and grabbed her by her arms and looked deep into her eyes. you shook your head at her.
"don't you ever say that," you said firmly. she flinched at the force in your voice and you dialed it back a bit. "i don't care how well i do or don't know you. i'm endlessly grateful to have met you. your life isn't worth any amount of money."
she clearly didn't believe you. "you felt bad for me. you'll regret not killing me and taking the money, i know you will," she whimpered. "i'm not worth anything."
"to me, you're worth everything," you said confidently. "i mean it."
"no you don't," she said, pulling away from you as she failed to keep fighting back her emotions. she took an unsteady step back. "i don't know why you're being so nice to me. i don't deserve any of this." tears begin to fall as she started crying hard, her vision blurring. you could see her legs weakening.
"honey, you're going to fall," you said worriedly, taking her wrist and pulling her over to your bed. she sat down on it as you pulled her into you, comforting her physically as she cried.
"kang sae-byeok." you looked down at her and she slowly looked up at you when you said her full name. "i swear on my life that i truly care about you. i want nothing but the best for you, and if those masked people offered me the world, i wouldn't accept it if it meant i had to hurt you to get it."
"but-" she started. you held a finger to her lips to shush her.
"no objections."
she ignored you and objected anyway, speaking through tears. "nobody ever cares about me. they just pretend to so they can get what they want."
"i'm not like them," you said quickly. "i care. and i'll prove it to you day after day for as long as i live."
sae-byeok didn't have anything more to say to that, her feelings overwhelming her. she found herself clinging to you as she cried, never having had any pillar of support before. you just held her and comforted her as she wept, fighting with herself internally.
it took a while, but she slowly began to calm herself down with ample help from you. she looked up at you, her face flushed with embarrassment. "i'm sorry for doubting you. my mind tells me things that aren't true sometimes."
"it's alright," you hummed, massaging her shoulder. "as long as you're okay."
she closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation of closeness. "can i sleep here tonight?" she asked softly.
you smiled at her and nodded. "of course."
as she laid down on the bed, she whined in protest as you got up. you quickly turned off the light and got back in bed, lying down next to her. sae-byeok, cuddled close to you, instinctively seeking comfort which you were more than happy to provide. she smiled softly as you held her closer to you.
"y/n?" she called out softly after a moment.
"hm?" you turned to look at her, sitting up a little.
"did you... really mean everything you said before?" she looked over at you, curious.
without warning, you leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead, causing her to blush and let out a noise of surprise and appreciation.
"yes. i will always protect you, sae-byeok."
with that, you laid back down next to her and you both slowly drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, utterly exhausted from the events of the day.
author's note: wow so this got a lot longer than i anticipated... i have to split it up into two parts β¨ i'm in love with this concept and i will get part two out asap!! part two will be more angst-focused so keep an eye out for it! this kind of serves as the prelude to the events that follow! i hope you enjoy it!!! πβ¨
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"attention players. the next game will begin shortly. please choose one of the numbered vests you see in front of you."
you paid close attention to the announcement, your mind racing as you looked at each of the vests. four other players raced forward and chose the middle ones first, prompting more players to do the same. you hung back, still unsure what to choose, though your options were severely limited now that everything from the middle was taken.
unsure, you looked over at your friend sae-byeok, who was weighing her options.
you had met sae-byeok after red-light green-light, where you watched her cleverly use one of the larger players as a shield. you spoke with her briefly after you both crossed the finish line, though you quickly split apart as you went back to the dorms.
after over 200 players were "eliminated", a vote to end the games was called. tragically, the majority voted to stay (by five votes) so you were stuck in this nightmare. you played in dalgona alone and fought your way through the brawl that occurred at lights-out. by this point, you realized you couldn't do this alone, so you sought out the only person you knew, even if you only knew her slightly. she seemed to realize she was going to need an ally too, so you stuck together, slowly bonding.
tug of war was easy with that old man on your team, he had some kind of cheat code to win and you got to pass easily with sae-byeok. at marbles, you wanted to pair up with her, but she stopped you.
"no. something feels off. find someone else to partner with for this one, it'll be less risky."
you wanted to argue but someone else took her as a partner so you didn't get the chance to.
you were grateful for her foresight as your own partner was executed in front of you after you took his last marble.
all that brought you to this moment. you tapped on sae-byeok's arm, and she looked at you.
"what should we do?" you asked anxiously, and you felt the fear of what the next game could be creeping into your mind. sae-byeok, however, was calm and collected.
"we should pick a number together. the later ones, that way we can potentially see what it is before we play."
"but what if we have to fight each other like last time?" you worried, not wanting to be responsible for her death.
"i doubt they'd do three games where we directly battle each other in a row. we just did tug of war and marbles. i'm betting it'll be something solo like dalgona or a collective game like red-light green-light," she analyzed, sounding confident, though her body language said she wasn't nearly as confident as she was pretending to be.
you nodded at her, trusting her judgement - it was right in marbles after all - and the two of you stepped forward, choosing the numbers 15 and 16.
the guards took you all to the game room where you saw a bridge made of 18 pairs of glass tiles. you had no idea what you were looking at, and you were about to ask the nearest guard when the announcer started speaking.
"attention players, the game you will be playing today is glass bridge..." the announcer said, and you listened closely as the rules were explained.
you were suddenly extremely grateful you and sae-byeok were going last.
you looked towards the front of the line, where a player with the number 456 was looking between the two tiles. he jumped to the first tile and it held, and a few of the other players cheered him on. nervously, he jumped to the second tile.
you looked away as the glass broke underneath him and he fell to his death, screams echoing through the game hall on the way down.
"player 456, eliminated," the announcer's voice rang out.
you stood back on the safety of the platform as more and more players went, each of their deaths causing you to cling to sae-byeok a little more.
in front of you, the player who picked number 14 - player 218 - was muttering to himself. you tapped on his shoulder, causing him to turn around.
"what?" he asked, looking down at you and sae-byeok.
"what do you think are the chances that we make it through this one?" you ask him, stepping back into sae-byeok for security slightly as his tall frame intimidated you. you asked him because you heard player 456 going on and on about how he graduated top of his class from some college, so you figured he was smart.
another player fell through the glass, her screams ending abruptly as she hit the ground. you flinched.
"i don't know for sure, but i'd assume it's over 90%," he said. "even if every player before us falls on the tile they step on, that would leave us with just five tiles left. and every player should make it through two tiles on average. our odds are good," he said, promptly turning around.
he didn't acknowledge your meek "thank you."
his words eased your mind slightly, but adrenaline was still in full force.
eventually, it came time for you to start jumping across the bridge to the tiles that other players already revealed. your heart raced at each jump, you wishing on each star in the universe that you or sae-byeok wouldn't miss the jumps.
as another two players fell to their deaths, you looked back at sae-byeok, making sure she was still there. she nodded at you and gently told you to keep going, pointing at the clock. she was right, time was running out.
eventually, it was just you, sae-byeok, player 218, and another player who refused to jump at the last panel. player 218 didn't give it a second thought and pushed him into one of the panels, making him crash through it and fall to his death. player 218 jumped to the safety platform on the other side and turned around to watch you and sae-byeok.
you looked up at the timer. 30 seconds left. you looked at him, uneasy. you just watched him push someone off, who says he won't do the same to you?
as if reading your mind, he held his hands up and stepped backwards. "i'm not going to push you," he assured you.
you quickly jumped across to the safety platform, sae-byeok following behind you. you looked up at the timer as sae-byeok made the final jump.
you three had made it with 4 seconds to spare.
relief had just begun to wash over you when the timer hit zero. you turned back to look at the bridge just in time to catch it as the panels began to explode one by one. instinctively you turned away and shielded your face, flinching and hissing in pain as you felt shards of glass cut into your exposed hands. you heard similar sounds from player 218, and you heard sae-byeok yelp in pain as she presumably was hit with the glass like you were.
as the explosions finished, you felt sae-byeok grip onto your shoulder. you slowly lowered your hands and looked over them. there were a few cuts, but nothing major. you turned to sae-byeok and saw her doubled over in pain, one hand clutching her side as she held onto you for support.
"are you okay?" you asked, suddenly very concerned.
"i'm... i'm fine," she hissed out through her teeth. "just.. give me a second."
you nodded to her with compassion, allowing her to hold onto you for as long as she needed. player 218 looked on, his eyes darkening slightly, though you didn't notice as you were too busy worrying about sae-byeok.
one of the staff members with a square on their mask stepped forward. "players, please come with me back to your quarters." the masked person turned and unlocked the door, opening it to reveal the intricate layout of hallways and stairs that you had become so familiar with.
player 218 followed the staff member closely without a word or a second glance back at the two of you. a second staff member came through the door - this one with a triangle mask, and approached the two of you.
"move," he said, reaching for his gun to threaten the both of you.
"we gotta go back, sae-byeok. will you be alright?" you asked, looking down at where she was holding onto her side in pain. she looked up at you, her breathing labored, and shook her head, her face telling you that she was in a lot of pain.
"move or you will be eliminated," the guard demanded.
"hold onto my shoulder, i'll help you get back," you told sae-byeok. she stood up as straight as she could and wrapped her arm around your shoulders, leaning half of her weight onto you for support. you stumbled at first, but you held onto her waist securely and the two of you began slowly making your way back to the bunks, the guard trailing behind you silently.
sae-byeok grimaced and hissed in pain with each step, limping even though you were supporting her.
"we're almost there, sae-byeok. you'll be okay." you told her, hoping your comforting words would make the pain a bit easier to manage. she just nodded in response.
the two of you eventually made it back, slowly but surely. player 218 was already there and sitting on his bed. he lifted his head as the two of you walked in, and you saw him examine sae-byeok, clearly noting that she was hurt. you glared at him as if daring him to try to do anything to her.
the doors to the players' quarters opened suddenly, causing sae-byeok to flinch and lean against you for support even more.
"it's okay," you whisper to her. "i've got you."
one of the square guards walked into the room, followed by several triangle guards. you three looked towards them as you had done for many games prior, and the square guard began his speech.
"you have made it through another game in the series. my congratulations to you all. as a token of our appreciation, please change into the new uniforms our staff will provide you with and make your way back here."
two triangle guards approached you and sae-byeok, each of them carrying a gift box which looked like a smaller version of the coffins the "eliminated" players were always carried away in.
you took both of the boxes, sae-byeok's hands a bit occupied at the moment. you looked over at player 218 and saw he was given an identical gift box.
one of the triangle guards led you and sae-byeok to the door to go to the bathrooms so you could change. you helped sae-byeok over to the door, her leaning more and more weight on you as time passed. you could feel her grip weakening slightly.
"hold out for me, sae-byeok. i can't lose you now," you murmured to her. she didn't respond, unable to speak through the pain.
the guard unlocked the door and led you to the bathroom door, opening it for the both of you and stepping aside, allowing you to enter before closing it behind you.
as soon as you both were in the bathroom, you led sae-byeok over to a sink so she could lean on it for support. she took her hand off your shoulder and placed it on the sink, you still holding her waist for reassurance.
"i'm going to let go of you now, okay? can you stand?" you asked her, your voice as calm as you could force it to be. internally, you were terrified for her.
sae-byeok slowly nodded her head, so you gently released her waist, and she leaned against the sink. you immediately went in front of her, setting the two gift boxes on the sink as well for the moment. your attention turned to where she was clutching her side. you noticed her shirt was stained with red near the area and your heart rate doubled.
"let me see," you said gently, softly taking her wrist and pulling her blood-soaked hand away. her shirt was torn underneath where her hand was, and a steady stream of blood was flowing out and getting soaked into her shirt, making it impossible to see the actual wound.
"holy shit," you muttered. if this was the amount of blood she was losing, she didn't have long.
you immediately pulled off your player jacket, gently lifting the side of sae-byeok's shirt and holding your jacket to the wound. sae-byeok flinched and hissed in pain.
"be careful," she muttered, the words difficult to understand as she spoke through gritted teeth.
"sorry." you wiped the blood away and pulled the jacket back to look at the wound. it was a nasty cut running diagonally along her side. more blood immediately replaced that of which you had just cleared away.
"is it bad?" sae-byeok asked, looking down at it but not getting a clear view.
"a bit, but it's not too deep. just a gash. we can get you patched up, but you're losing a good amount of blood."
sae-byeok nodded, trusting you. she didn't have many more options at the moment. you helped her get her jacket off and you folded it a few times, then you held it against her cut as a sort of bandage. you took your jacket and tied it around her to hold it in place.
"grab my shoulder. i need to tighten it, this will probably hurt," you told her gently. she nodded and held onto your shoulder, her hand gripping it tightly.
you pulled on the sleeves of your jacket, tightening the knot around her. she hissed and instinctively held onto your shoulder tighter, her nails digging into your skin slightly.
"sorry," you apologized quickly, feeling bad for hurting her.
"it's fine," she replied, catching her breath. "thank you."
her voice was uneven as she spoke, which was unlike her. you looked up at her in concern and saw a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"honey," you murmured, your hands going to her shoulders. she looked into your eyes, and for the first time since meeting her, you saw emotion in them. "what's wrong? is it too tight? does it hurt? i can loosen it a bit if you need me to."
she shook her head, another tear falling from her eye. "i... i won't make it through another game. not like this." she whispered, fear and sadness in her voice.
you gently wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a soft hug. she wrapped her arms around you as well, weakly hugging back. sae-byeok leaned her head on your shoulder and you could feel her fighting back tears.
"you'll make it out of here. i promise," you comforted her, the words causing her to let out a sob.
"no i won't. i'm going to die in this place. it's all been for nothing," she whimpered in a pained voice, which broke your heart.
"honey, you're making it out of this. i know it," you whispered to her, softly rubbing her back.
she didn't say anything and she didn't have to. her soft cries were enough to communicate exactly what she was feeling to you. you held her for several minutes, knowing that she needed your support more than anything right now.
you eventually felt her arms leave your back and you did the same, pulling away slowly. you reached out and wiped her tears off her cheeks. she looked back at you, pain and fear filling her eyes.
"let's call a vote," you whispered to her. "it's two against one."
her eyes widened slightly, as she hadn't even considered that to be a possibility. "w.. what? but the money-"
"i don't care about the money. you're worth more than any amount they could give me," you told her confidently.
she didn't know what to say to that, and that was fine with you. you didn't know what to say to that either. you didn't even think about it, your words just came out, which told you that you really meant it.
you picked up the gift boxes that the guard handed you and set them on the sink next to the one sae-byeok was leaning on. you turned on the sink for her, motioning down at it.
"wash that blood off your hands," you instructed. she took a shaky breath in and nodded, running her hands under the water.
while sae-byeok was cleaning herself up, you turned your attention to the gift boxes. you picked one of them up and opened it, revealing what looked to be some kind of suit with your player number on it - 033.
"i guess they want us to wear these," you said to sae-byeok, lifting yours out of the box. as you held it up to get a better look at it, a steak knife fell out of it, clattering down against the sink. both you and sae-byeok jumped at the sudden noise.
"what the heck..?" you muttered to yourself, reaching forward and grabbing it. you looked to sae-byeok with your knife still in hand, wondering what this was all about. she looked down at the knife and then back up at you, uncertainty creeping into her eyes as she shrunk back slightly.
"hey, hey, i'm not going to hurt you," you comforted her, setting the knife down on the sink carefully. "not after everything we've been through."
sae-byeok let out a shaky exhale - you didn't even notice that she was holding her breath.
"sorry," she mumbled, looking down.
you turned to the other gift box and opened it, reaching inside the suit labeled 067 and finding an identical knife. in clear view of sae-byeok, you slowly place it in your hands so that the blade was facing you, holding it out to her for her to take.
"for security," you told her as she took it and slipped it into her pocket. you knew that even though you had no intentions to attack her, her having a way to defend herself in case you did would ease her worries a bit. you placed your own knife into your pocket and closed both gift boxes.
"don't they want us to put those on?" sae-byeok spoke up, not wanting to risk breaking any rules.
"probably, but we're going to march out there and demand a vote anyway. it doesn't matter." you held your hand out to sae-byeok to assist her in getting back to the dorm room. she ignored your hand and immediately held onto your shoulders like before, and you automatically put your arm around her waist without thinking about it.
sae-byeok clinged onto you for support as you walked back into the room, her grimacing with every step. you helped her over to her bed against the wall and sat her down in it. she collapsed against the bed, almost completely out of energy. you looked around the room and didn't see player 218, and you figured he must still be changing.
"hold out a little longer for me," you murmured to sae-byeok. "we're almost out of here."
sae-byeok just weakly nodded in response.
the square guard was waiting for everyone to arrive. upon seeing that you and sae-byeok emerged without your suits on, he began to approach you. you were a step ahead of him and approached him yourself, causing him to place a hand on his revolver on his belt.
"relax, i'm not going to stab you," you muttered to him.
"this is against the rules," he informed you. "you must wear your uniforms."
you looked him directly in where his face should be. "consent form clause three. players may vote to end the games at any time."
the guard paused for a moment, seeming to process your words. "that is correct."
"i want to call a vote," you said, hoping that he would let you.
after a few long moments, he took out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it. "player 33 wants to vote to end the games."
as he was listening for a response, he turned his head slightly to look over at sae-byeok's bed.
"yeah, i'm voting with her, genius," you said, irritated.
the guard didn't respond, keeping his attention on the bed. you looked over to see what was so exciting over there and your heart rate immediately increased as you saw player 218, now suited, approaching sae-byeok, knife in hand. sae-byeok was completely unaware, her eyes closed.
adrenaline coursed through your veins as you drew your own knife and rushed towards him. he heard your footsteps approaching and looked towards you just in time to quickly duck out of the way as you slashed at his throat, the air whooshing around your knife as it soared through the air. he stepped back in shock and you took the opportunity to get between him and sae-byeok.
"don't you dare hurt her," you growled at him, your knife held out in front of you.
his eyes darkened as he took a step forward, raising his knife to meet yours. your heart raced in your chest as you stared him down, preparing mentally to defend everything you care about. as he was about to charge you, he was slammed by one of the triangle guards and knocked to the ground. you looked down at him, his eyes wide with confusion and anger.
"since when is killing each other not allowed, huh?!" he barked at the guard, who had their rifle aimed at him threateningly.
"player 33 wants to vote to end the games," the guard told him. "we will not allow any acts which impede this democratic process."
"what?!" he shouted at you. "now?! after everything, you want to throw it all away now?!"
you looked behind you at sae-byeok, then back to him. "yes," you said, malice towards him dripping from your voice. "for her, i do."
before long, the three of you had your knives taken away and you were lined up, a triangle guard still positioned with their gun trained on player 218. sae-byeok was forced to stand up and she held onto you for support like before, you holding as much of her weight as you could. a circle guard brought out the voting machine as the screen above changed to show the voting screen.
O : 0 | X : 0
the square guard looked at the three of you. "we will conduct the vote in descending player order. if you would like to continue playing, press the "O" button. if you would like to stop playing, press the "X" button. player 218, please cast your vote now."
player 218 cast a death glare at both of you as he walked by, followed by the triangle guard. he approached the machine and slammed his hand down on the "O" button.
O : 1 | X : 0
"player 67," the square guard called out as 218 made his way back to where you both were standing. you began to move forward with sae-byeok, but the triangle guard stopped you.
"only one player may go at a time."
you glared at them before turning to sae-byeok. "can you make it up there alone?" you asked her, worried.
"i'll... i'll be fine," she said. "if it means we can get out of here, i can do it."
you nodded at her before slowly removing your support from her. she grunted in pain as she had to support her own full weight, but slowly began making her way up to the machine, tightly gripping her side as she limped. eventually she made it to the machine, stumbling and catching herself on it. without hesitation, she placed her hand on the "X" button and pressed down on it.
O : 1 | X : 1
"player 33," the square guard called out as sae-byeok limped back to where you were. she approached her bed and leaned on it, relieving her slightly. you turned and began to approach the machine, hurrying so sae-byeok didn't have to suffer longer than necessary. as you made it up to the buttons, you could feel sae-byeok's eyes locked onto you.
you turned your head up to look at the golden piggy bank above you, full of an amount of money which would be life-changing. then you looked at the two players at the far side of the room. player 218 refused to look at you as his eyes were locked onto the voting screen. you saw sae-byeok silently pleading with you, her body language tense and stressed.
"no," you muttered to yourself, turning back to the buttons. "she won't die because of me."
your hand curled into a fist and you slammed it down onto the "X" button, just to spite 218.
O : 1 | X : 2
"the majority has voted to end the games," the square guard announced. "please wait while we arrange your departure."
relief washed over you as you realized that they would actually let you go home. you quickly made your way back to sae-byeok, ignoring 218's glare. you pulled her into a hug as she wrapped her arms around you as well.
"we made it," you whispered to her. "we're going home."
her felt her shoulders shaking as she began to lightly sob.
"thank you... so much..." she said softly as she held onto you, crying in your arms. nobody had ever cared about her like that before.
you held her and comforted her until you were separated by two soldiers. they escorted each of you to a van which brought you here, both of you getting in. you reached out for sae-byeok as soon as you were inside, sae-byeok immediately going over to you and pulling you into a side-hug, resting her head on your shoulder. you gently wrapped your arm around her and pulled her closer.
"are you feeling okay?" you asked her, concerned. she had been made to walk to the van on her own and you could see her struggling.
"i'll manage..." she breathed, the pain dimming now that she wasn't supporting herself anymore. you could see her drifting off to sleep already and you didn't object - the poor girl had been through a lot and she definitely needed and deserved the break.
the last thing you saw as the sleep gas began to pour into the back of the van was sae-byeok, and then it was darkness.
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don't worry lovelies, this story doesn't end here! this is just a part one, part two comes out tomorrow!! πβ¨ i will replace this text with the link once it's up!! [edit: part 2 is now up!!]
author's note: i love this?? i started drafting this to finish later and suddenly i had written the whole thing. thank you lovelies so much for the positive reception on my sae-byeok fic!! as a reminder, my requests are open, so if there's something you want written, send it my way! β¨β¨
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se-mi wasn't answering any of your messages, nor was she returning your calls. this worried you - she'd normally text you back almost immediately, or at least look at the messages. not tonight. they all stayed on "delivered."
you knew something was wrong almost immediately. you knew your girlfriend better than she knew herself sometimes, and this was definitely unusual. after half an hour of not getting anything in response, you dismissed yourself from where you were out doing volunteer work for the community and began to drive home. you were definitely breaking several traffic laws as you nervously made your way back to your shared house.
all the while, you were hoping that your phone would go off, that you would hear something from se-mi. no such thing happened, which only caused your worries to grow.
you pulled into the driveway and basically ran to the front door, not bothering to lock the car. you had bigger priorities right now.
as you stepped inside, you looked around, hoping to see se-mi, hoping that maybe her phone just died and she was fine. you felt your heart race a little faster as she was nowhere to be found.
you immediately made your way down the hallway, looking for any sign of your girlfriend. your haste almost made you miss that the door to her room was closed, causing you to double take. there was no light coming from underneath the door, something that gave you more anxiety than it should have.
you lightly knocked on the door, calling out.
"se-mi? i'm home." you tried your best to suppress the nerves in your voice, but despite your best efforts, your voice faltered.
there was no response.
from the other side of the door, you heard a very concerning noise that made your heart drop - the sound of se-mi sobbing softly.
"se-mi," you called out again, your voice a bit more frantic. "are you okay? can i come in?" you kept your voice as gentle as possible, not wanting to make whatever situation this was worse.
"n-no, y/n, i'm-" se-mi's voice came through the door, or whatever was left of her voice as she choked her words out between sobs. "go away. please."
your heart began to race faster. this was definitely not the se-mi you knew, and there was no way you were leaving her in whatever state she was in. she sounded seriously hurt.
"se-mi, i'm coming in, okay?" you gently called out, not wanting to scare her. going away like she asked was definitely not an option. you turned the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open, emotionally bracing yourself for whatever you were about to see.
it was worse than you hoped. se-mi was curled into a ball on the floor at the foot of her bed, her hands covering her face like she was holding back screams. she was wearing one of her old hoodies, and there were dark tear stains running across both sleeves. once you came in, it only seemed to get worse. much worse.
"i- se-mi, baby, oh my gosh.." you flew over to her side and crouched down next to her, gently taking her wrists and pulling her hands off her face. her eyes were red from crying so much and tears fell down her cheeks. se-mi only shook her head at you, not looking at you - not really looking at anything.
"please, y/n," she choked out. "please go. i don't want-" her words were interrupted by a gasp for air- "i don't want you to see me like this."
you pulled your girlfriend into a gentle hug, rubbing her back. she didn't hug you back, her arms fastened securely around her legs. "no way," you said, your voice gentle but firm, masking your fear as best as you could for her. "i'm not going anywhere."
this didn't seem to help. she stared straight ahead, not moving, her chest rising and falling rapidly. you could feel her heartbeat as you rubbed her back, and it was going fast. "please go," se-mi whimpered, tears falling from her cheeks onto her lap.
"hey, look at me." you gently pulled away from the hug and securely held her by her shoulders. se-mi turned to look at you, though she was more looking through you. "i'm here, okay? i love you. i want you to copy my breathing, alright? don't think about anything else."
you took an exaggerated slow, deep breath in, making it easy for se-mi to match you. it took a few breaths, but she got her hyperventilating under control and began trying to match your breath, still looking through you. you could tell just by the look in her eyes that she was terrified. you took another breath for her, gently reaching down and taking one of her hands and holding it in yours. se-mi flinched at the sudden contact, but just as quickly found herself desperately holding your hand like you were her only lifeline.
for right now, you were.
tears continued to spill down se-mi's face as she copied your breaths, the sight of which broke your heart, though they were coming slower now. you held her hand tightly, knowing that each little step like this was huge for her.
se-mi was starting to calm down. slowly, she was able to finally look at you instead of at nothing. her chest rose and fell in time with yours, and a few stray tears still fell from her eyes. you could still see the fear in her eyes, though she slowly was able to uncurl herself from the ball she had made herself into. she squeezed your hand tightly, seeking comfort, something you knew how to provide.
you leaned forward and softly pulled her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. se-mi quickly latched onto you as well, her arms tight around your back like you would float away if she let go. you could still feel and hear her occasional sobs and cries as you held her.
"shh... it's okay love, i've got you," you whispered to her, doing your best to comfort her. she nodded against your shoulder, fighting to regain her composure.
"y/n.." she started, pulling you against her tighter.
"i'm here, you're okay," you murmured to her, feeling her rest her head against your shoulder.
se-mi didn't finish her sentence, opting to just hold onto you for comfort as she tried to regain her composure. slowly, the feeling of tightness in her chest began to loosen and her eyes began to dry. you held your girlfriend for several more minutes, knowing your presence was helping.
eventually, se-mi took one last deep breath. "thank you.." she breathed out. her hands were still trembling and she was embarrassed, but otherwise she was alright now.
you held her for a moment longer before lightly pulling back, looking into her eyes which had started to regain their light.
"se-mi, what happened?" you asked softly, one of your hands moving up to run through her hair which you knew she liked.
"i don't know exactly..." she said, her voice a bit shaky. "i just started thinking and stressing, and i started to think about losing you, and then you texted and i couldn't make myself look at it which just made me feel worse because i knew you'd be worried and-" she suddenly gushed out, only stopping when you grounded her again by squeezing her hand.
"love.." you looked at your girlfriend sadly, hating that she had to go through that. "you'll never lose me. i promise. i love you."
"i... i love you too.." se-mi replied, burying her face in your neck. "i'm so sorry. i worried you. you had to see me like that.." she murmured.
you stop her before she can cause herself to spiral again. "i don't care about any of that. i'm just glad you're okay."
se-mi closed her eyes and sighed. this wasn't her proudest moment, but something about you made her feel safer than she's felt in a long time.
you held each other for several minutes, you running your fingers through her hair to calm her, when her phone alarm went off. she flinched and you instinctively pulled her closer to you protectively.
"shit..." she hissed, taking her phone out of her pocket and looking down at the screen. "i gotta go to work.."
you frowned, pulling away slightly and looking at her. her eyes were still red, tear streaks covered her face, her hair was a mess, and her clothes were covered in her tears. she was in no state to go to work.
"absolutely not." you pulled your girlfriend back into you, holding her close.
"but-" se-mi started, but you cut her off.
"you aren't going anywhere right now," you told her. "not until i know you're okay."
you both closed your eyes for a moment while you held her, and you felt her getting a bit heavy against you. you pulled away softly, drawing a complaint from her. you stood up and held your hand out to her.
"come on, up." you told her.
she took your hand and you helped her up, wrapping your arm around her shoulder. you immediately guided her to her bed and laid her down in it, you joining her soon after.
"you're staying right here with me," you told her. she was in no state to argue. she just let out a soft whine and cuddled up into you, nuzzling into your neck. in turn, you held her close against you, as if making sure she wouldn't spontaneously disappear.
"thank you, y/n," she mumbled against you. "i love you."
"i love you too, se-mi," you told her. "i'm just grateful you're okay."
se-mi had no more words left to say, she was exhausted. the next several hours were spent with her cuddling you while you played with her hair and whispered comforting words to her, calming her down as much as you could.
author's note: my first post! i hope you like it! i had this idea a day or so ago and i think it all came together pretty well π also this ended up being a lottt longer than i intended but i got kinda invested lol oops. not really proofread so sorry if there's mistakes!!
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you had finally convinced sae-byeok to go on a camping trip with you. you weren't even sure where the idea came from, yourself - you've never been too interested in camping to begin with. the more you thought about it, though, the better of an idea it seemed like to you.
your lives had been stressful, to say the least. you had gotten evicted from your apartment and had to move in with sae-byeok or else you'd be homeless. she was skeptical at first, but you've known her long enough that she got used to it pretty quickly. the pressure of this, combined with the general crazyness of life, had been wearing you out, and you could tell it was dragging on sae-byeok as well, though she tried to hide it.
when you had first brought up the idea, she was surprised, to say the least.
"y/n, do you even own camping gear?" she said, not even looking up from her phone.
"do you really think i would suggest this if i didn't have the stuff for it?" you huffed, crossing your arms.
"knowing you, kind of," she said, glancing up at you for a moment.
"hey!" you said, pretending to be offended.
she didn't say anything in return, though you could see a slight smirk on her face.
over the next few days, you kept bringing it up and trying to convince her that it was a good idea, but she wasn't having it. eventually though, after a lot of convincing (and a fair share of whining at her), she agreed to go.
"fine," she said, looking up at you from where she was reading on the couch.
"really?" you said, surprised. you were beginning to think about giving up on the idea.
"something tells me you won't stop bothering me about it until i say yes," she said, setting her book off to the side. "and besides, it's just getting colder out, and i don't want to do it while it's freezing outside."
for the next few days, the two of you planned out where you would go. you settled on a two-day trip over the weekend at a site next to a river. as the day of your trip apprached, you found yourself strangely excited for it. before you knew it, the day arrived, and you and sae-byeok packed your gear and loaded it into the car. sae-byeok insisted on driving, mostly because she didn't trust your driving, especially not with her car.
"i can't believe i let you drag me into this," she said as she pulled out of her parking space.
"come on, it'll be fun! and it'll be nice to get away from... everything, i guess," you said, looking out the window as you begin driving down the road.
"i guess," sae-byeok said, glancing at you in the rearview mirror for a moment. you looked into the mirror at the same time and she quickly looked away, focusing on the road.
the two of you made small talk as you drove to your destination, most of the topics being of little interest to you both. it was more of an excuse to talk to her - something the two of you didn't do much, despite being roommates. occasionally you would catch her glancing at you in the mirror, and she would act like nothing was happening. after a couple more times of this, you got sick of it and decided to confront her.
"why do you keep looking at me?" you asked, fully looking over at her in the driver's seat.
"i need to look in the mirror to drive, y/n," she stated, pretending not to know what you were talking about.
"i didn't know staring at the passenger was part of driving," you contested, drawing a noise of complaint from sae-byeok.
"it's nothing," she said, dismissing the topic.
you huffed but let it go. after all, it's not like you wouldn't have time to talk to her about it later.
after a few silent minutes of driving, you decided to try something. you looked into the mirror directly at sae-byeok and stared her down, waiting to see if you could catch her looking at you again. as you looked at your roommate, you couldn't help notice her facial features that you hadn't paid much attention to before - her freckles, her haircut which was strangely cute despite being very fitting, and her eyes which you swore suddenly were a lot prettier than you remember them being.
"you can stop staring at me now," she said, interrupting your daze. apparently you were looking at her for longer than you thought.
"sorry," you mumbled, looking away as you blushed in mild embarrassment.
you tried not to look at her for the remainder of the drive, but you couldn't help yourself a few times, though fortunately she didn't catch you again.
eventually you both arrived at the campsite entrance and sae-byeok parked the car letting both of you out. the two of you grabbed your gear and sae-byeok locked the car, then you started walking towards the entrance.
"how far is it to where we're going?" sae-byeok asked as you started walking together.
"i think it's about a ten minute walk or so," you said, subconsciously matching her walking pace. "why, are you tired of me already?" you teased, grinning slightly.
"i might be if you keep talking like that," she replied. "i can always leave you here," she said, the joke being a nice break from her usual cold self.
just as you were going to reply, your foot got caught on a branch and you stumbled, tripping and just barely missing landing on sae-byeok. luckily for you, you managed to catch yourself with your hands before faceplanting directly into the ground.
"y/n, are you okay?" sae-byeok asked, barely hidden concern in her voice. she crouched down next to you and helped you up as you avoided looking at her out of complete embarrassment.
you meekly accepted her help and the two of you stood up. you wanted to brush it off and keep walking but sae-byeok grabbed you by the shoulder and didn't let you keep going.
"i'm fine," you said, wanting to move on.
"let me see your hands," sae-byeok said, but you ignored her request. "now," she added, her voice firm but gentle.
you shyly offered your hands to her, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. she grabbed your wrists, looking over your palms closely to make sure you didn't accidentally cut yourself.
"just a few light scratches, luckily," she said, letting your hands go. as soon as your hands were free, you started walking forward again, much to sae-byeok's dismay.
"you're welcome," she chided as she followed after you, quickly matching your pace again.
"i don't want to talk about it. it was just a fall. nothing serious." you kept walking, sae-byeok keeping up with you and staying a little closer than before. she made a noise of complaint as you brushed her off but otherwise dropped the topic.
at least that's what you thought, until you felt her wrap her hand around your wrist protectively.
"what are you doing?" you asked, though not trying to pull away.
"making sure you don't fall again," she stated simply, keeping her eyes trained on the path ahead.
you didn't say anything else, mostly because you didn't know what to say. the physical attention did feel nice, though you definitely weren't going to say that out loud.
the two of you kept walking forward, her gripping your wrist protectively all the while.
"if you wanted to hold my hand, you could just say so..." you mumbled after a few minutes, causing sae-byeok to falter slightly.
"what." she said after briefly composing herself, looking over at you.
"nothing, nevermind," you replied, looking away as her gaze took your sudden confidence away.
you kept walking in silence for another minute before you felt sae-byeok's hand not-so-discreetly slip into yours, her fingers interlocking with yours so she could have a better grip. you glanced at her in surprise and saw a faint blush on her face, and you then locked your own fingers with hers. neither of you spoke a word about it until you subconsciously ran your thumb over the back of her hand.
"don't do that," she said, keeping her hand in yours. you quickly stopped and went back to focusing on walking.
"sorry," you apologized, not getting a response.
you were content enough as it is, even if this was just to make sure you didn't fall over like a bowling pin again. sae-byeok's sudden protectiveness over you was adorable whether she liked it or not, though that's definitely not something you would be admitting to her anytime soon.
finally, after a few more eventless minutes of walking, you got to the place where you would be setting up camp. sae-byeok removed her hand from yours, drawing a sound of complaint from you which she ignored as she began to unpack her stuff. you figured you should do the same and you begin to unpack too.
as you begin to unpack your gear, you looked around at the campsite. admittedly it was a very beautiful place - there were vibrant trees all around you, and you could hear the soft rushing of water from the river nearby. maybe you could get used to this. especially if sae-byeok was with you.
"don't fall into the river," sae-byeok called out as she began setting up her tent nearby.
"shut up," you retorted playfully as you begin setting up your own tent, embracing the whole 'clumsy' thing. apparently it means sae-byeok holds your hand, which is plenty of motivation for you.
after you get your tent arranged, you go over to check on sae-byeok, partially because you want to see how she's setting up her tent so you can make sure you're doing it right yourself.
"pretty nice place, isn't it?" you comment as you walk over. birds chirp in the trees as the soft rustling of the wind creates a surprisingly peaceful environment for being in nature.
"i guess," sae-byeok responds, pausing to look around, though keeping her back to you. "maybe you were right for once."
you pout and go to make a response of your own when the wind suddenly picks up, shaking some leaves off of the trees nearby. you hold your hand up to your eyes to shield yourself from the wind and wait for it to pass.
"told you," you finally manage to respond once the wind dies back down. you turn to finish setting up your tent - after all, it'll be dark soon and you definitely don't want to have to do it by the light of a fire.
your tent is gone.
you quickly walk forward towards where it was, looking down at the ground and hoping it'll magically appear again from wherever it's hiding. it does not. however, you do see the stakes you got out still lying on the ground right where you put them. your heart sinks as you realize you forgot to stake the tent down. the wind must have blown it away. which means...
you trail your eyes to where the wind blew, and you catch sight of your tent which has found a nice new home in the river.
"you cannot be serious," you say to yourself, getting sae-byeok's attention. she gets up and walks over, noticing your sudden lack of a tent.
"y/n, where's your tent?" she asks, coming to a stop beside you. you dejectedly point towards where it's floating away down the river. sae-byeok immediately covers her mouth with her hand and turns away from you, though you can see her shoulders shaking as she tries to conceal her laugh.
"it's not funny!" you say, whining at her. "where am i going to sleep now? in the river?"
sae-byeok gathers herself and turns to you, though there's still a small smirk on her face. "i'm guessing that was your only tent?"
"who brings more than one tent to a camping trip??" you complain, causing sae-byeok to giggle which draws another whine from you.
sae-byeok looks at you, then to the tent which is floating its way down the river like a boat. "do you want to go home?" she asks. she might find this funny but she wants to make sure you're actually alright.
you sigh. "no..." you start, fidgeting with your hands nervously. "we came all this way. i don't want to have dragged you out here for nothing..."
"you can stay in my tent then," she decides, turning back to go finish setting it up. "unless you want to fish yours out of the river."
"really? you don't mind?" you ask, trailing after her. the offer is really nice of her, though you suppose there's not really another choice.
"i'm not going to leave you outside in the cold," she responds coolly. "unless you want to sleep outside."
"no!" you say quickly. "it's just... i don't know. thank you."
"don't mention it. can you start a fire while i finish setting this up? preferably on land," she teases, getting complaints from you, though you do end up making yourself useful and start a fire for the both of you.
as the day turns to night and more banter between the two of you passes over a simple dinner cooked on the fire, it's soon time to turn in for the night, unless you'd like to stay outside and both become mosquito food. you follow sae-byeok into her tent where there's a grand total of one sleeping bag - yours was swept into the river along with the tent, and it's probably halfway to the ocean by now.
"uhh, sae? there's just one sleeping bag here," you observe. "and... one pillow."
"i can see that," she responds, kneeling down to open the sleeping bag.
"so... what are we supposed to do?" you ask. you're not too thrilled with the idea of sleeping without anything to cover you.
"it's big enough, we can share." sae-byeok looks up at you, speaking again before you can ask more questions. "it's either that or you keep us both awake because i just know you'll be shivering all night, your choice."
you fake pout at her while she lies down, scooting over to give you room. "thanks for this," you say as you lie down next to her, leaving a bit a space between you.
"zip it up," sae-byeok says to you, looking on expectantly.
"are you serious? we won't fit," you object. sae-byeok wraps her arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, zipping up the sleeping bag herself.
"yes we will," she says flatly, trying not to pay attention to how close the two of you are. it's a good thing she wasn't looking at you since you were busy trying to hide a blush yourself.
the two of you laid there for a few minutes, neither of you able to get comfortable due to the cramped space. it didn't help that you kept getting slightly closer to sae-byeok with each passing minute, which is something she very much noticed. she looked over at you, unimpressed, though her face had a bit of amusement on it.
"what are you doing, y/n?" she asked, causing you to freeze still.
"nothing," you replied, hoping that maybe she wouldn't notice that you're suddenly closer to her than you were before. sae-byeok waited in silence, trying to get you to speak more, but you remained silent which drew a huff from her.
"i know what you're doing, so just come here and get it over with," she said, half-teasing. she grinned when she saw you suddenly get flustered and look away. "sorry, but you aren't exactly subtle."
you glared at her for a moment, but obliged and cuddled up next to her. the space situation did not improve, which prompted sae-byeok to speak again. "that's not what i meant. come on, otherwise neither of us will get to sleep tonight."
you slowly turned over and tenatively wrapped an arm around sae-byeok. when she didn't complain, you more confidently rested your head on her chest and lightly held onto her shoulder, your other hand resting at your side.
"comfortable now?" she asked you, her hand gently finding yours as she held your hand again. your heart half-melted and you nodded, which was satisfactory to her. "good. now go to sleep."
you sighed contentedly, cuddling closer against sae-byeok. in response, her free hand went to your hair and she absent-mindedly played with it, which you liked a lot. you let her know this by gently squeezing her hand, causing her to smile slightly.
"thank you," you murmured. you didn't expect tonight to end up like this, but you're more than happy that it did. your train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the feeling of sae-byeok gently kissing the top of your head, causing you to freeze.
"you're welcome," she said simply, not acknowledging what she just did. you tilted your head up to look at her, and she looked down at you in response, neither of you bothering to hide the soft blushes on your faces.
"sae," you started, suddenly feeling anxious. "can... can i kiss you?" you looked away as soon as you said that, not wanting to ruin the moment. "sorry, forget i said that.."
"y/n." sae-byeok squeezed your hand to get your attention, and you sheepishly looked up at her. she nodded at you, giving you butterflies in your stomach.
"really..?" you asked, wanting to make sure she was sure.
"yes, now do it before i change my mind," she said, looking at you expectantly.
she could get you to do anything with that look.
you slowly moved forward and hovered above her, looking down at her while your lips were just inches away from each other's. you stayed like that for a moment too long and sae-byeok got impatient, using the hand that was still playing with your hair to pull you in.
you melt into her as your lips connect, closing your eyes. this felt good. she softly ran her hand through your hair as her grip on your hand tightened. after a few moments, you went to pull away, but sae-byeok pulled you back in by putting her hand on the back of your neck. you were happy to oblige, pressing your mouth back on hers. you forgot about everything besides sae-byeok, your lips moving in sync as you kissed one another. you felt truly safe here, not worrying about the stresses that made you come here in the first place, and definitely not worrying about your tent which was most likely on its way to antarctica. all you could think about was sae-byeok.
after a minute or so, she finally let you go. you pulled away with one last kiss, looking down at her, both of you blushing heavily but not caring. her hand rested on the side of your neck as you looked into each other's eyes.
"i liked that," you said, smiling. "we should do that more often." you settled back down onto her chest after stealing one last kiss before she could respond.
"i wouldn't be opposed," sae-byeok said, playing with your hair once again while rubbing your hand with her thumb. "good night, y/n."
"goodnight, sae-byeok."
nothing but the sound of crickets chirping and the sound of rushing water from the river filled the air as you both happily fell asleep in each other's arms.
hello lovelies!! my name is savanna and i'm a writer new to tumblr! my blog will be completely dedicated to squid game writing since i'm obsessed with squid game... probably just wlw, sorry <33
i will write basically any fem character from squid game but i'm best at:
- sae-byeok
- se-mi
- young-mi
- ji-yeong
- jun-hee
i'm okay at:
- no-eul
i can try writing for others but i can't promise it'll be good!
i'll write fluff, angst, and smut!!
requests are always open and i'll try to do as many as i can! i have a few ideas of mine in mind already <3
posts may be a bit slow since i'm a full time college student so bear with me <3
