Stone Butch Blues is an important part of genderqueer and lesbian history. In my opinion, the book is better represented by a series of deeply important details and moments than by a conventional plot summary. These are some of those details and moments.
But who was I now—woman or man? I fought long and hard to be included as a woman among women, but I always felt so excluded by my differences. I hadn’t just believed that passing [as a man] would hide me. I hoped that it would allow me to express the part of myself that didn’t seem to be woman. I didn’t get to explore being a he-she, though. I simply became a he—a man without a past.
Who was I now—woman or man? That question could never be answered as long as those were the only choices; it could never be answered if it had to be asked.
what i thought we had distanced ourselves from was the reduction of women to vaginas and wombs and the ability to bear children. i thought we had progressed past ‘dresses are for women and pants are for men.’ i thought we progressed past the idea that someone is less of a woman if she does not adhere strictly to beauty standards. i thought we progressed past the idea that naturally being comfortable adhering to highly feminine standards is vulgar. but i (sarcastically) guess no one could have predicted that trans-exclusive feminism would be the downfall of all the progress we’ve made
“We’re in danger of losing what the entire second wave of feminism, what the entire second wave of women’s liberation was built on, and that was ‘Biology is not destiny’. ‘One is not born a woman,’ Simone de Beauvoir said, ‘one becomes one’. Now there’s some place where transsexual women and other women intersect. Biological determinism has been used for centuries as a weapon against women, in order to justify a second-class and oppressed status. How on Earth, then, are you going to pick up the weapon of biological determinism and use it to liberate yourself? It’s a reactionary tool.”
— Quote by Leslie Feinberg, from TransSisters: The Journal of Transsexual Feminism, issue 7, volume 1. 1995.
"We must challenge the misconception that transmen are automatically typecast as masculine and so their partners must automatically be feminine women. The entire range of
gender expression can be found in the transmale population,
including androgynous and feminine men, and drag queens. And the transmale community includes many gay and
bisexual men, as well as heterosexuals. The courage of gay and
bi transmen and their partners to be out and proud and define their sexuality generates a shower of sparks that electrifies the potential of human sexuality."
Leslie Feinberg, trans liberation: beyond pink or blue
Madeline D. Davis in “The Femme Tapes” by Joan Nestle, Madeline Davis, and Amber Hollibaugh (recorded 1982)
published in The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader (1992), ed. Joan Nestle
but I did touch her manually and made her climax and that was the way she came. It was quite a different experience from the next woman I got involved with about four months later, who really was a stone butch. She put her hand up inside of me and she came! And then I thought, “There was something else happening here.”
And this was a woman whom I was not in love with. She was cute, a short chunky version of Beebo Brinker; they were all dark with blue eyes then! You know it’s been a type I have been after. I didn't find too many, but after a while my tastes expanded. They had to. But I still look down the street after a dark-haired, blue-eyed woman.
Anyway, this was a woman who was obviously crazy about my body — the second woman — and I got a whole other feeling suddenly. I mean the men wanted to fuck me, they liked me, but this was a woman who loved my body. I never really loved my body. I was comfortable with it. I knew where all its parts were and that it was functional. But I was always somewhat overweight. I never thought I was pretty, and to this day, you know, eight hundred people can say you're gorgeous and you're never going to believe it. But here was a woman who, when she touched me, trembled, and god — the world opened up.
table of contents: books; anthologies, history, novels, erotica, photography. films; movies, documentaries, shorts. miscellaneous; dissertations, articles, etc.
note: everything (minus a few) has a link to access the media! if i am able to find the missing links i will attach them along with adding new content. there are some things that are not specifically butchfemme, but i kept them because i feel that they fit. enjoy!
𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜 + 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚜
୨୧ A Restricted Country by Joan Nestle
୨୧ Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity by Chloë Brushwood Rose, Anna Camilleri
୨୧ Butch/Femme: Inside Lesbian Gender by Sally R. Munt, Cherry Smyth
୨୧ Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman
୨୧ Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go by Michelle Gibson, Deborah Meem
୨୧ Femme: Feminists, Lesbians, and Bad Girls by Laura Harris, Elizabeth Crocker
୨୧ Lesbian Culture: The Lives, Work, Ideas, Art and Visions of Lesbians Past and Present by Julia Penelope, Susan Wolfe
୨୧ On Butch and Femme: A Compiled Readings by I.M. Epstein
୨୧ Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme by Ivan Coyote, Zena Sharman
୨୧ The Femme's Guide To The Universe by Shar Rednour
୨୧ The Lesbian Erotic Dance: Butch, Femme, Androgyny, and Other Rhythms by JoAnn Loulan
୨୧ The Little Butch Book by Leslea Newman
୨୧ The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle
୨୧ Tomboys!: Tales of Dyke Derring-Do by Lynne Y. Fletcher, Karen Barber
୨୧ Tomboy Survival Guide by Ivan Coyote
𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢
NOTE ⋆ there is more history content in the film section as well as historical fiction in the novel section!!!
୨୧ Appearances Can Be Deceiving: Butch-Femme Fashion and Queer Legibility in New York City, 1945–1969 by Alix Gitner
୨୧ Baby, You Are My Religion: Women, Gay Bars, And Theology Before Stonewall by Marie Cartier
୨୧ Becoming Visible: An Illustrated History Of Lesbian And Gay Life In Twentieth-Century America by Molly McGary, Fred Wasserman
୨୧ Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community by Andrea Weiss
୨୧ Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community by Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy, Madaline D. Davis
୨୧ Daring Hearts: Lesbian and Gay Lives of 50s and 60s Brighton by Brighton Ourstory Project
୨୧ GLBT Historical Society: Museum & Archives ⋆ general LGBT archives, but a great source
୨୧ Making History: The Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights: 1945-1990: An Oral History by Eric Marcus
୨୧ Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life In Twentieth-Century America by Lillian Faderman
୨୧ Uninvited: Classical Hollywood Cinema and Lesbian Representability by Patricia White
୨୧ Unsuitable: A History of Lesbian Fashion by Eleanor Medhurst
𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚜
୨୧ A Crystal Diary: A Novel by Frankie Hucklenbroich ⋆ The razor-edged, compelling, often wryly humorous story hustles us from the blood-and-beer-drenched corners of her St. Louis meat-packing district '50s youth, through the sex-soaked Hollywood alleys of her '60s baby butch years, into the druggy metropolis of '70s San Francisco.
୨୧ Beebo Brinker by Ann Bannon ⋆ Beeboo, a butch 17-year-old farm girl newly arrived in New York after she is driven from her Wisconsin home town for wearing drag to the State Fair. Befriended by the gay Jack Mann, a father-figure with a weakness for runaways, Beebo sets out to find love.
୨୧ Departure from the Script by Jae ⋆ An aspiring actress meeting photographer, femme meeting butch in this light-hearted lesbian romance set in Hollywood.
୨୧ Doc and Fluff: The Dystopian Tale of a Girl and Her Biker by Pat Califia ⋆ Set in the bleak and not-too-distant future of a culture in its death throes, Doc and Fluff careens through the lives of a pair of outlaw women struggling to survive on the road.
୨୧ Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clements, Onjuli Datta ⋆ A fresh, queer spin on possession horror with a sharp focus on deeply complex small-town dynamics. A young queer woman who's lived her whole life in the dead-end mountain village of Cadenze finds herself violently possessed by an ancient, malevolent, memory-eating entity that inhabits the caves bordering her home.
୨୧ Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo ⋆ America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father—despite his hard-won citizenship—Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.
୨୧ Lucy and Mickey by Red Jordan Arobateau ⋆ Lesbian life in the late 1950s, early '60s; and a powerful romance & sexual drama between two females, Lucy & Mickey.
୨୧ Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller ⋆ In an early puritanical New England town, a butch and femme fall in love and discover they can run a farm and live together away from the world that sought to limit them and their love.
୨୧ Satan's Best by Red Jordan Arobateau ⋆ volume #1 in the ten book lesbian biker series THE OUTLAW CHRONICLES. In this action-packed novel we are introduced to the gang of raunchy and glamorous biker women, including the 5 Warlords who run the Outlaws. Enter beautiful blond butch Angel–lone rider on the storm.
୨୧ Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg ⋆ The life of Jess Goldberg, a working-class Jewish butch lesbian in New York from the 1940s through the 1970s.
୨୧ The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall ⋆ The timeless struggle of a butch and femme couple to be accepted by "polite" society. This now classic was banned outright upon publication in 1928.
𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜
୨୧ Back To Basics: A Butch-Femme Anthology by Theresa Szymanski
୨୧ Breathless: Erotica by Kitty Tsui
୨୧ Hard Road, Easy Riding: Lesbian Biker Erotica by Sacchi Green, Rakelle Valencia
୨୧ Rode Hard, Put Away Wet: Lesbian Cowboy Erotica by Sacchi Green, Rakelle Valencia
୨୧ Set in Stone: Butch-on-Butch Erotica by Angela Brown
୨୧ Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica by Tristan Taormino
୨୧ The Harder She Comes: Butch/Femme Erotica by D.L. King
𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍
୨୧ Butch/Femme edited by M.G. Soares
୨୧ Butch: Not Like The Other Girls by SD Holman
୨୧ Dagger On Butch Women by Lily Burana, Roxxie Linnea Due
୨୧ Love Bites by Del LaGrace Volcano
୨୧ Making Out: The Book Of Lesbian Sex And Sexuality by Zoe Schramm-Evans, Laurence Jaugey Paget
୨୧ Nothing But The Girl: The Blatant Lesbian Image by Susie Bright, Jill Posener
୨୧ The Butch/Femme Photo Project by Wendi Kali
୨୧ The Drag King Book by Del LaGrace Volcano, Judith "Jack" Halberstam
୨୧ The Femme's Guide to the Universe by Shar Rednour
𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚜
୨୧ A Complicated Queerness: Living Femme in a Dyke Community dir. Johanna Buchignani, Emily Hillman ⋆ short film: This film investigates the ways in which gender, power and sexism are lived and experienced within the San Francisco Mission dyke community. The documentary aims to promote awareness of and discussion about the prejudice and invisibility of queer femininity, in order to build alliances and healthier communities.
୨୧ Before Stonewall (1984) dir. Greta Schiller, Robert Rosenberg ⋆ documentary: The history of the Gay and Lesbian community before the Stonewall riots began the major gay rights movement.
୨୧ Bound (1996) dir. The Wachowskis ⋆ thriller/crime: Corky, a tough female ex-convict working on an apartment renovation in a Chicago building meets a couple living next door, Caesar, a paranoid mobster, and Violet.
୨୧ By Hook or By Crook (2001) dir. Harry Dodge, Silas Howard ⋆ crime/romance: A buddy film that chronicles two butches, Shy and Valentine, who collide by chance in the San Francisco streets. Shy is immersed in daydreams about the loving father they lost and Valentine is searching for the mother they never met. Like-hearted mischievous souls, the pair stumbles into a series of shambolic shenanigans — along with Valentine’s girlfriend, Billie.
୨୧ Dream Girls (1994) dir. Kim Longinotto, Jano Williams ⋆ documentary: Women join Japan's all-female Takarazuka Revue musical theater troupe, portraying men's roles. The film explores gender dynamics, desires, and complexities of female identity in Japanese society through these performers' experiences.
୨୧ Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Lives (1992) dir. Lynne Fernie, Aerlyn Weissman ⋆ documentary: Ten women, most of them in Vancouver or Toronto, talk about being lesbian in the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s: discovering the pulp fiction of the day about women in love, their own first affairs, the pain of breaking up, frequenting gay bars, facing police raids, men's responses, and the etiquette of butch and femme roles. Interspersed among the interviews and archival footage are four dramatized chapters from a pulp novel, "Forbidden Love": Laura leaves her hick town and heads for the city, where she meets Mitch in a bar. Sparks fly, and so do laughter and joy. Ann Bannon, one of the writers of those paperback novels about forbidden love, talks about the genre.
୨୧ Gay Tape: Butch and Femme (1985) by Cecilia Dougherty ⋆ short: The Gay Tape brings “a little fine-tuning” to the question of representation, honing in on the subjective particularities of the butch-femme dynamic as experienced by members of Dougherty’s local Bay Area dating pool.
୨୧ Gender Troubles: The Butches (2016) dir. Lisa Plourde ⋆ documentary: What portrayals of lesbianism are acceptable and who gets erased? Butch lesbians from a wide range of backgrounds and ages provide a compelling exploration of society's assumptions and challenge ideas about what it means to be female. They show the rewards that come with self acceptance. Tender, funny, and thought-provoking. NOTE: after clicking the link, scroll down to the middle to watch where it is available with english audio and french, spanish, dutch, or portuguese subtitles.
୨୧ If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) dir. Jane Anderson, Anne Heche, Martha Coolidge ⋆ romance/drama: This anthology of short films tells the stories of three lesbian couples - who live in the same house at different periods of time - who are at a crossroads in their lives. The second story includes a motorcycle riding, leather jacket and tie wearing butch, Amy.
୨୧ Last Call at Maud's (1993) dir. Paris Poirier ⋆ documentary: Some genuinely wild women – and some more demure but no less lively types – take center stage in Paris Poirier’s vivacious documentary about the life and times of Maud’s, the longest running lesbian bar ever.
୨୧ Lives: Visible/Leftovers (2017) dir. Michelle Citron ⋆ documentary: Lesbians in a box…two thousand private snapshots hidden away for over fifty years reveal the rich history of Chicago’s working class butch/fem life in the pre-Stonewall era.
୨୧ Salmonberries (1991) dir. Percy Adlon ⋆ drama/indie: A woman (played by k.d. lang) who grew up in a small town in Alaska goes to the public library to try and find out who her parents were. She eventually befriends the librarian, an East German immigrant who lost her husband while escaping from behind the Iron Curtain. They help each other try to find closure to the events in their past.
୨୧ Shinjuku Boys (1995) dir. Jano Williams, Kim Longinotto ⋆ documentary: This documentary offers rich insight into gender and sexuality in Japan via a candid portrait of Kazuki, Tatsu, and Gaish, three trans masculine hosts working at the New Marilyn Club in Tokyo’s bustling Shinjuku district. As the film follows them at home and on the job, all three talk frankly about their lives, revealing their views on love, sex, and identity.
୨୧ Stormé: The Lady of the Jewel Box (1987) dir. Michelle Parkerson ⋆ documentary/short film: Through archival clips, Stormé DeLarverie, bodygaurd of a women's club and former drag king looks back on the grandeur of the Jewel Box Revue and its celebration of pure entertainment in the face of homophobia and segregation.
୨୧ Stud Life (2012) dir. Campbell X ⋆ romance/drama: JJ, a lesbian, works as a wedding photographer with Seb, a gay man who is her best friend. After JJ falls in love with a gorgeous diva, her friendship with Seb becomes strained, and she may be forced to choose between Seb and her lover.
୨୧ The Aggressives (2005) dir. Daniel Peddle ⋆ documentary: The Aggressives is an exposé on the subculture of masculine presenting people of color and their femme counterparts. Filmed over five years in New York City, the featured subjects share their dreams, secrets, and deepest fears.
୨୧ The Watermelon Woman (1996) dir. Cheryl Dunye ⋆ romance/comedy: An aspiring black lesbian filmmaker researches an obscure 1930s black actress billed as the Watermelon Woman.
𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚜
୨୧ A Butch Road Map by Ivan Coyote ⋆ spoken word
୨୧ A Dyke's Bike Repair Handbook by Jill Taylor ⋆ motorcycle care/repair handbook, this one is so random i just love it lol
୨୧ Are Butch and Fem Working-Class and Anti-Feminist? by Sara L. Crawley ⋆ article
୨୧ Butch Between the Wars: A Pre-History of Butch Style in Twentieth-Century Literature, Music, and Film by Karen Allison Hammer ⋆ dissertation
୨୧ Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam
୨୧ Feminizing Theory: Making Space for Femme Theory by Rhea Ashley Hoskin ⋆ thesis
୨୧ Femme: Feminists, Lesbians, and Bad Girls by Laura Harris, Elizabeth Crocker
୨୧ Lesbian Identity and the Politics of Butch-Femme by Amy Goodloe ⋆ paper/review
୨୧ Lineage To My Femme Foremothers by A.N. ⋆ zine
୨୧ Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships by Gina Daggett, Kathy Belge
୨୧ Narrating and Negotiating Butch and Femme: Storying Lesbian Selves in a Heteronormative World by Sara L. Crawley ⋆ dissertation
୨୧ On the Appropriation of Femme from Lesbians Over Everything, a discussion between four femmes ⋆ article
୨୧ The Misunderstood Gender: A Model of Modern Femme Identity by Heidi Levitt, Elisabeth Gerrish, Katherine Hiestand ⋆ study
୨୧ The Mythic Mannish Lesbian: Radclyffe Hall and the New Woman by Esther Newton
୨୧ To All the Beautiful, Kick-Ass, and Fierce, Full-Bodied Femmes by Ivan Coyote ⋆ spoken word
hey! could you explain some of the history behind the stud identity?
stud is a black lesbian identity, much like AG (aggressive). though it is similar to butch in describing female masculinity, and stud/fem often mirrors butch/femme roles — it illustrates their unique relationship to womanhood by recognizing the specific ways in which they are subjected to, and impacted by, racism, homophobia, and misogyny due to historical constructions of black gender roles and perceptions of black female masculinity.
some historical information and excerpts about the meaning and evolution of stud identity:
in 1965, ethel sawyer conducted “a study of a public lesbian community” in st. louis, missouri. this was the earliest known sociological study of a black lesbian community anywhere in the united states. in this fieldwork, sawyer found that masculine black lesbians in the midwest referred to themselves as studs.
anita cornwell writes “the butch, who in all black gay circles that i have ever encountered is labeled ‘stud’” (from “a black lesbian is a woman is a woman…”, published in the los angeles free press, november 1972)
lorraine bethel references “the black bulldyke stud” in her poem “what chou mean we, white girl? or: the cullud lesbian feminist declaration of independence (dedicated to the proposition that all women are equal, i.e. identical/ly oppressed)”. (published in bethel & smith, 1979)
susan, in an interview about female prisoners, uses the term “stud broad” to explain “women who from physical appearance might easily be mistaken for men … contrary to the images in homophobic research and media … they are often unusually quiet and gentle … [she] sometimes won’t allow herself to be touched.” (from “sex is always the headliner”, published in sinister wisdom no. 16, 1981)
oshen t. explains “i identify as stud but, growing up, i didn’t know that there was a word, ‘stud.’ what was more common was butch, but at some point, like in my mid to late teens, i noticed that butches were usually white women, and even though i did see some black butches … at some point it got really irritating and didn’t fit me. i don’t feel butch, and i don’t like that word, even saying it. stud came out of me and my peers having a conversation, and i held onto that word stud. we younger studs from east oakland started to gravitate toward that. butch was white and older, and as young kids, we were studs. there was some age stuff, race and class. all the books were about stone cold butches … just white people. we were like, nah, that’s not us.“ (quoted in “masculine of centre, seeks her refined femme” by b. cole, published in persistence: all ways butch and femme, 2011)
b. cole writes “unlike white female masculinity, female masculinity for womyn of colour is based on sites of power and systemic oppression — through masculinities of colour. the assumption that they can be resignified with equal subversive and revolutionary actions against white manhood is false. the ability to access masculinity pivots upon the ways in which gender intersects with race, and these gaps have been filled with new ways of naming ourselves. in the last decade, the explosion of young masculine-of-centre womyn has created a demographic shift on the butch landscape, giving way to terms like ‘stud’, ‘boi’, ‘tom’, and ‘macha’ in california and the south, ‘dom’ within the d.c., maryland and virginia region, and ‘aggressive’ or ‘AGs’ in new york.these identities represent a redefined female masculinity that is rooted in the experiences of womyn of color and is more genderqueer than historical interpretations of butch……the emergence of this new language would not have happened were it not for the ways in which masculine-of-centre womyn of colour live their female masculinity through the lens of race. our identity has socially transformative powers and there are still nuances to our identities — masculine-of-centre mothering, social mobility, and historical racial oppression — which shape masculinity in ways that have yet to be fully explored…*womyn here is used to reflect that, for many of us, as masculine of centre, our gendered identity is not accurately reflected in the term women.” (reprinted in outside the XY: black and brown queer masculinity, 2016)
nneka onuorah said “black women don’t have a voice — black ‘AG’ [aggressive] lesbians don’t have a voice. i wanted to tell a story of my own for people who look like me.” (from an interview with NBC news about her film the same difference, 2015)
some films of interest:
the aggressives, directed by daniel peddle, 2005
pariah, directed by dee rees, 2011 (netflix)
stud life, directed by campbell x, 2012 (amazon)
the same difference: gender roles in the black lesbian community, directed by nneka onuorah, 2015 (kanopy)
“We got real furniture. I mean, it was Salvation Army, but it was real. Our names were printed inside a heart on the dishtowel that hung on the refrigerator door handle. We got it made at Crystal Beach. It was a brave thing to do. But later we spilled loganberry juice on it, so we used it for dishes because we couldn’t bring ourselves to throw it out. And there were marigolds in amber glasses on the windowsill, daisies in a green cut-glass vase on the kitchen table, fresh mint and basil growing in a flower box on the porch. It was a home. I grew up in leaps and bounds. I learned to reduce the anxieties of life by paying bills on time, keeping receipts and promises, doing laundry before I ran out of underwear, picking up after myself. Most importantly, I learned to say I’m sorry. This relationship was too vital to let dust accumulate in its corners.”
[“When I meet with butches, there is often herbal tea. Some of the butches are happy; some are not. The distinction between the two is based in their struggle between self-honesty and the fear of ostracism.
The Happy Butch is tickled to hear that I transitioned into butchhood. Happy Butch chuckles to learn that I too explain to straight friends and family, I know people mistake me for a teenage fag, and I’m okay with that. The Unhappy Butch is relieved that “my transition” referred to how I joined, rather than abandoned, her and her gender.
Both Happy and Unhappy Butches know a compatriot. He was younger and genderqueer. Now he’s on T and has a new name.
Happy Butch and I will grin, knock cups, and speculate as to just what and who will emerge from transition.
Unhappy Butch sinks into her chair: “There goes another one,” she utters, hollow like a cavern. Silent over a steaming cup, her eyes say, “At least I know you’re here for the long haul.”
In my experience, the difference in attitude runs as follows:
Unhappy Butch wants to mend the holes in her gender, but won’t. Whether it’s new pronouns, T, or surgery, she’d feel more honestly herself in some other body or identity. She denies herself this out of a sense of duty that is really just fear—the fear of losing friends who accepted her as who she tries to be but who won’t accept her as who she needs to be, because that would be accepting a man or something similar enough to a man. She tries to turn her fear of isolation into a virtue. Noble and alone, she will stick it out, the last surviving butch ambassador to the world. But she knows it’s a lie, and she mourns her lost brother because she mourns her lost self. I know this gender-martyrdom. I lived in it. And I threw it out when I transitioned into being happy and butch.
The Happy Butch? This butch doesn’t mourn our brother’s transition but celebrates it. Happy Butch is present in body and pronouns as-is, be they modified, unmodified, or under renovation. Happy Butch knows that any “friend” or “community” who rejects her/zer/him/them/it isn’t a real friend or community. Happy Butch crackles with an honest, brave joy that extends to seeing someone else come into zer own.”]
amy fox, from changed sex. grew boobs. started wearing a tie, from persistence: all ways butch and femme edited by Ivan Coyote and zena sharman
"Yes, it's true: I was the type of young femme who managed the girls basketball team in high school, just to be able to take in the sight of all those butches parading their muscles up and down the court. I found Girl Scout camp to be femme heaven and reveled in being able to explore my athletic self and still maintain my femmeness. And, to my horror, I have to admit pushing Tina away from my breasts in the back seat of a Buick while attending Mount Saint Mary Seminary.
And then there was feminism... Although I came out as a "gay" woman before reading The Feminine Mystique, the seventies brand of white feminism had me trimming my nails and cutting off my hair. Soon I was outfitted in farmer jeans and high tops. And still I was told by my "sisters" that I didn't "look like a dyke" (read: I didn't look butch).
I began to lead two lives- one as an outrageous, skirted, lipsticked femme while I worked in and traveled with carnivals, and another as an imitation butch back home in the women's community. Eventually, I pulled the pieces of my being back together and proclaimed boldly, "I am a working-class lesbian femme."
So I had maybe six years reveling in unleashing my seductive femme self when, as lives go, mine changed: slowly at first and then more dramatically.
Recurring back pain and limited range of mobility were finally diagnosed. Soon after came decreased mobility. No more mountain climbing. No long mall walks in search of the perfect piece of sleaze. No more standing against kitchen walls being gloriously fucked by some handsome butch. I stopped using alcohol and drugs, became ill with what is now known as CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome), and began to use a three-wheeled power chair.
The more disabled I became, the more I mourned the ways my sexual femme self had manifested through the nondisabled me: cruising at the local lezzie bar, picking up a dyke whose eyes refuse to stray from mine, dancing seductively, moving all of me for all of her. Cooking: love and suggestion neatly tucked into the folds of a broccoli quiche. Serving my date in varying, sleazy clothing, removing layers as the meal and our passion progressed. And making love... feeling only pleasure as my hips rose and fell under the weight of her. Accomplishment and pride smirked across my face as her wrists finally submitted to the pressure of strong persistent hands. There are the ways I knew to be femme, to be the essence of me.
It's been five years now since I began using my wheelchair. I am just awakening to a new reclamation of femme. Yes. I still grieve the way I was, am still often unsure how this femme with disabilities will act out her seduction scenes. I still marvel when women find passion amidst the chrome and rubber that is now a part of me.
There have been numerous dates, lovers, relationships, sexual partners, and fliterations along the way. Cindy, Jenny, Ellie, Emma, Diane, Dorothy, Gail, June, Clove, Lenny, Cherry, Diana, Sarah I, and Sarah II. You have all reminded me in your own subtle or overt, quit or wild ways that I am desirable, passionate, exciting, wanted.
Yes I am an incredibly sexual being. An outrageous, loud mouthed femme who's learning to dress, dance, cook, and seduce on wheels; finding new ways to be gloriously fucked by handsome butches and aggressive femmes. I hang out with more sexual outlaws now- you know, the motorcycle lesbians who see wheels and chrome between your legs as something exciting, the leather women whose vision of passion and sexuality doesn't exclude fat, disabled me.
Ableism tells us that lesbians with disability are asexual. (When was the last time you dated a dyke who uses a wheelchair?) Fat oppression insists that thin is in and round is repulsive. At times, these voices become very loud, and my femme, she hid quietly amidts the lists.
Now my femme is rising again. The time of doubt, fear, and retreat has passed. I have found my way out of the lies and oppression and have moved into a space of loving and honoring the new femme who has emerged. This lesbian femme with disabilities is wise, wild, wet, and wanting. Watch out.
-"Reclaiming femme... Yet again" Mary Francis Platt, The Persistent Desire (Edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)
ID: the cover of whipping girl: a transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity by julia serano, with a quote by NPR that says "a foundational text for anyone hoping to understand transgender politics and culture in the US today." end ID
watching a femme get ready, observing their intricate rituals of self-care - doing their nails, putting on makeup, brushing their hair, picking out an outfit...watching it all in silent reverence, marvelling at how much care and intention they put into reaffirming their femme identity each and every day, how their self-expression shines when they allow themselves to embrace it fully.
Stone Butch Blues: Excerpts and Quotes @sbb-excerpts - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag