Game Changer & Make Some Noise
gracie abrams
if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
$LAYYYTER
noise dept.
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Interview Vampire Daily
Product Placement
ellievsbear
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
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Origami Around
KIROKAZE
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pixel skylines
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official daine visual archive
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@scarlet-sam-chaos
/// introduction ig? ///
>> hoi! im scarlet or sam
>> she/they pronouns pls
>> 19, capricorn, desi, cat lady, second year med student
>> super into greek mythology, pjo and epic the musical at the moment
>> im a fanfic writer! find me at: scarlet_sam on ao3
>> proud girlfriend to my bbg (do ppl even add that to intro posts? i dunno i just love her sm)
>> also... i'm learning digital art?
>> ... what else do people add in these introductory posts?
I may be fucked up in the head but at least I'm tucked up in the bed
i can actually think from one thought to next without thinking about the fact that I'm thinking but then I'm thinking about the fact that I'm not thinking about the fact that I can hink from one thought to next which in fact means that I can't think from one thought to next—
how do you know if something working is just placebo effect of you thinking it'll work vs it actually working
MTF PERCY LEARNING THAT ONE MYTH ABOUT POSEIDON AND CAENEUS AND ASKING IF THE REVERSE IS POSSIBLE FOR HER
YOU GOT MY VISION!!!
The funniest thing to ever happen to me is adhd and mbbs
Irony how you go from "my perfect child" to "disappointment" just because you refused to take part in the rat race, and now suddenly everybody snaps at you for the slightest and cannot take a breath without wanting to not exist
the further disappointment when you do adequate in the rat race. not amazing. not the worst. just enough to get by. they pretend to be happy. they applaud your success. but the moment you fuck up again, they bring it up again as if it had never left. and you lose all sense of accomplishment and purpose because now all that you've done has been for nothing.
Would the sea ever think how exhausting it is to do the same thing over and over for millions of years?
the moment i met you was like what i imagine was the first time the sea touched the shore
but the sea, it had always existed, and the shore, it had probably always existed too
so their meeting, the first brush of the molecules of water against those particles of sand
that moment, it shouldn't have felt like that first kiss between war-torn lovers
but it did, it does, and it forever will-
from the moment the lands surfaced above the vast expanse of the oceans
until the moment the last drop of it will escape into space as we hurl towards the sun
from one eternity to another, the meeting of the sea and the shore, it shall be beautiful
it shall be beautiful, unlike anything i’ve ever seen, anything but the moments i see you all over again
for, you see, the splash of the waters against the shore is always just as fierce
always is the shore on the verge of drying from thirst, until it feels those waves against itself
so the moment i met you- it was a first, but it was what i had been waiting for
it was a first, but, this now surfaced land would stand here for eternity
until the cosmos itself snatched you away from my arms, i would be there, waiting for you
waiting to experience you over and over and over again
every time as new as the first, every time as old as the earth, every time as fierce as anything that has ever been
because there's the sea and the shore, and then there’s you and me
~ a poem i wrote after sleeping for 12 hrs straight
The domino effect of fucking up
yes but consider... the butterfly effect of fucking up
Mhm now that is interesting indeed what I meant by the domino effect of fucking up was that if you fucking up you keep fucking up till all the dominos have fallen( what the fuck is she blabbering about is this even making sense)
But I'd like to add some positive twists because I think we need some optimism as victims of the Indian education system especially. You mention butterfly effect now butterfly effect means small changes in our life can have large unpredictable consequences over time now the good and the bad thing about this is the "unpredictability" means it can be good or bad which is better than the domino i guess where it's all bad here atleast you have two consequences. For example you fuck up in studies you fuck up in exams and eventually you have a unsatisfactory life and job but what if you fuck up in studies you life isn't going well you lose confidence until you vent somewhere online and it blows up you meet people with similar experiences you talk which gives you more confidence to switch or change your ways maybe even your field completely and you landed a career of your wildest dreams eventually.
Omg I haven't even considered that butterfly effect is that it results in unpredictability. I was thinking that it would end in disaster, that's why I reblogged your post with it! I can't believe that while trying for pessimism I accidentally summoned optimism.
my girlfriend has not replied to my texts in hours
i caught a sparrow with my bare hands
i lied to my therapist about my sleep schedule because 6 am to noon sounded absurd to even me
it's been quite a day
fuck knowing everything at 18 and nothing at 22.
i knew everything at 14 and nothing at 18.
14 yr old me? killing it. top of her class. academic weapon. churning out one fanfic chapter a week. beta reading for two others. knitted a sweater. mom's therapist. dad's shining golden star. marriage counselor. private detective. found evidence of dad cheating.
18 yr old me? dead. in college, sure, but failed a subject. barely passed the other two. fanfic last updated in june last year. unfinished knitting project since january. ghosted mom. dad accused her of calling only when she needs money. asked her parents to get divorced already. doesn't know anything of her own life, let alone others'.
fuck knowing everything at 18 and nothing at 22.
i knew everything at 14 and nothing at 18.
@athenaareia i went to get diagnosed with adhd, he took one look at me and added anxiety to the list 🥲
visited a therapist today
he was biteable and daddy shaped and I had to remind myself I have a girlfriend
i should not be thinking this but there was something in the way he leaned over while talking and the way I could see the muscles under his shirt move as he extended his arm to grab some paper and i—
i need someone to help me dig myself out of the hole that I dug that began with the shovel of being goody two shows and spilling my unholy thirsting-after-a-therapist-on-the-first-time-i-met-him confession
i called him yum
while texting my girlfriend
help
i got my teeth cleaned today
first of all, dentists are monsters
who else would laugh as they talk while using drills in your mouth
secondly, the dentist's husband did medicine from my college
as in
the college i study medicine in
as in
9 hours away from my home city where i randomly walked into the first dental clinic i could find
neither the dentist or her husband are even from this state
wtf
letting yall know im still alive?
hi! tis me. scarlet. sam. whatever. your favorite ao3 author (hopefully!) slash multi-fandom fangirl who used to be hyperactive over here and has since then basically... dissapeared.
uh
i keep telling myself ill come back but somehow i end up... not?
not that i dont want to but life just keeps throwing lemons at me without providing me with lemonade making machinery
that is to say, i...
wrote a book? got it published? it has absolutely no sales, which is sad :( (anyone interested in reading a desi sapphic story hit me up please)
started med school? (its been 6 months who tf am i kidding) failed one subject in the first semester? barely passed the other two subjects?
probably failed all three in the second internal exams? (the marks havent been announced yet but i can FEEL it in my bones)
got a girlfriend? (this one is going great actually!)
ghosted everyone and anyone i knew from before college? both online and offline? (i suck. i know. my deepest apologies @athenaareia)
stopped reading fanfiction and writing fanfiction and thus watched my mental health take a deep dive which probably also included some contribution from my adhd (audhd? im not sure), but well anyway im getting that checked soon? booked an appointment? yay?
anyway, im alive. yippe.
picking pieces of myself back together one at a time.
oh to be kissing so hard you both fall off the bed and onto the table beside you which also breaks so you, her and the table all go tumbling onto the floor and so much breaks but you both burst into laughter and continue kissing >>>
