[scarletgaze]

# SCARLETGAZE 　 　 ⸻  　 　 independent, private, 🙴🙴. selective  blog  for  VERGILIUS of limbus company; the eternal vampire guide, master of unlife, lord of heartwarming crimson. heavily headcanon-based.

a picture of : losing everything, blood as memory, infinite scars of the body and heart, being both man and monster, an ancient presence hidden behind scarlet eyes.

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⸻ 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃 . 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 . 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

[weltenwellen]

Marina Tsvetaeva, from “One A Red Horse”, Bride of Ice

[scarletgaze]

verg.ilius has an extremely keen sense of smell and hearing. all the better to look out for nonsense

[scarletgaze]

what are you, in your purest form?

a flame

you’re burning. sometimes it feels like your bones are made of nothing but char and vengeance. sometimes it feels like you’re winning; the flames searing your skin empower you. you are not the same as the rest of them. you are special. and you will keep burning, until you either wither into ash or make the whole sky smoke.

tagged by : @toktic <3 tagging : steal it >:)

[scarletgaze]

slides in and offers my blog...please be gentle red gaze...thanks for the follow back!!

scoffs. ❝ i will be gentle when and if i see fit. ❞ translation: probably never.

[scarletgaze]

" The blood on your hands ... just so happens to be my favorite color ... "

eyes scan her carefully.   it isn’t the first time he’s met one of these types,   and it won’t be the last   …   those obsessed with the ruby-black color of blood.   it’s befuddling to him.   he is so averse to combat,   to death,   that one might be remiss in calling him a vampire.   this blood that he needs to continue his unlife   …   he finds it repulsive.   the moon tonight is red,   too,   shimmering through the stained glass of sacred grounds and dappling the two figures in variegated hues of scarlet and crimson.   there is no escaping this color,   save for her ghost-pristine figure and the subtle blue of her eyes. 

❝   then indulge.   it is bequeathed to you   ⸻   i have no use for such a color on this night of nights.   ❞   voice comes ragged from starved lungs,   canines flashing in the reflections of glass and spilled blood.   he shakes his hands of blood,   splattering it unceremoniously on the floor.   whoever tends to this sanctum will clean it up.   he will not bother with such a thing.

[scarletgaze]

updated the carrd... we are getting things done, people

[scarletgaze]

by the way i am so duplicate friendly you have no idea. i want vergilius to be in the sad man pit with other vergilii

[scarletgaze]

i... am alive

[scarletgaze]

verg.ilius lives an unlife purely of lament, having lost everyone and everything in some capacity; he seeks a living person who is strong enough in heart and will to kill him. he does not actively pursue it, as he knows better than to chase death. but death has turned a blind eye to him, and it's one of the few things he craves. to him, death is a beautiful creature, an unattainable lover, someone he longs for and wishes to hold.

[vulpesse]

# 𝐀𝐇𝐑𝐈     ⸻    a love song to the literary themes of  𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 = 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 &. 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐌 𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 , the   𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳   for love in a loveless world , 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘃𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 , the fragmentation of one's chimerical identity and the subsequent loss of it , 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮𝙩𝙝 . 　　　　　　　⸻ as tenderly loved by 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 ᕱ⑅ᕱ ♡

[soulsrefrain]

rather than hold on to your worn-out scriptures, ( someday the darkness of this era will break into dawn. ) you! abandon your prayers.

#𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍　 　 ⸻　 　 indie priv. sel. hokma from lobcorp and ruina. written by faolan. 21+. x.

[soulsrefrain]

rather than hold on to your worn-out scriptures, ( someday the darkness of this era will break into dawn. ) you! abandon your prayers.

#𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍　 　 ⸻　 　 indie priv. sel. hokma from lobcorp and ruina. written by faolan. 21+. x.

[scarletgaze]

am i taking too much inspiration from eva.ngelion for hok.ma's blog. looks at all the nge songs in his playlist. no i probably should be taking more inspiration from it actually

[saed-a]

a weird bus ... this was⸻ two feet stumble forth and soon on his knees drops a young adult in front of rope stand which normally shouldn't be crossed. what remains before him is the door that leads to the front area of the bus. he's not sure where he is ... not sure where he should be. actually...

"who ... am i exactly?" / @scarletgaze surprise garnet.

[scarletgaze]

crestfallen,   vergilius’s heart dropped as he heard the vacant voice of who he,   at first,   thought to be garnet.   one of the few friends he ever had.   his surrogate son.   vergilius would have denied these titles had it been years prior,   claiming airily that he had no real attachment to the boy,   but as they'd separated,   he found his attachment growing ever more.   he thought he would never see him again in this lifetime.   but the boy he saw was not quite the same as the one he was familiar with.   he was as different as charon was from lapis,   and he didn't know who he was,   either…

❝   you don't… know?   ❞   came a small voice from vergilius.   he shook his head in disbelief⸻   how had this happened not once,   but twice?   why had the gods birthed such misery in this world? why were they so insistent on it?

[toktic]

it feels like this was a moment they had secretly been waiting for this entire time. a moment where for once; they were a person vergilius felt assured enough to approach with concerns of his own. vergilius was ... vergilius⸻ their hands slowly shift at their desk listening to every word. drowning out their minor rustling of a messy desk of papers. how... how'd they not tidy up? had they known... they would've prepared files to take notes on. dante was always of the belief that vergilius wore his exhaustion as a secondary skin. it was so interlaced with his features that coming to learn it had been troubling to a point of interference? it ...surprised them. < well... > it's almost instinct in them to give a fix immediately yet they knew that wasn't how this worked. they had to guide him through it much like they would the sinners in their own struggle. < a lack of focus can be associated with a number of problems. >

they pulled their chair closer to the corner of the desk. turning their tablet screen to face him slightly should he not have a reference of what they're saying. as they speak they would write it down at the same time. they're closer than they were prior yet dante was too focused on the task at hand to outright notice that themself. vergilius needed their help after all. < first one can generally be very easily tied to procrastination but in all honestly; you don't seem the type to be swayed by that so easy. for others, i argue it could be an improper lack of care for your well being. what does your diet look like? are you eating enough? are you drinking enough? how often are you exercising? what is sleep like for you? are you ... dealing with a lot of stress or a low mental? >

but their writing stops. < however, if you're asking me now what it is i do... i try to distract myself for a little. let myself rest. sometimes my pain is unbearable and i have no choice but to stop. expecting yourself to be on top of your game all the time is... > a shrug. < unrealistic. >

[scarletgaze]

vergilius blinked rapidly, scanning through the text displayed on the tablet. these were indeed good questions, even if simple⸻ they were questions he hadn't even bothered to ask himself. he swallowed thickly and leaned forward ever so slightly. he might have wanted to start wearing his glasses more. he didn't enjoy using tools to aid himself, even if the outcome was far better than existing without them. still, he did expect himself to be on top of everything all the time. to put it simply, he was used to over-extending himself. he had been that way since he renounced the gods that had first blessed him with life, renounced jupiter, the father of all things. he did not need the gods, and they evidently did not need him. he forged his own path, one that was now irrevocably intertwined with dante and charon and the sinners.

he shook himself from the torrent of thoughts that filled his mind. trains of thought like these were primary distractions. he found his mind wandering much more often than it used to, at least more than it did upon his first meeting with faust. something was awry. and he had an inkling he knew why that was.

❝   i have … not been eating enough.   ❞   he gazed at them with such sadness,   such exhaustion in heavy-lidded scarlet eyes.   ❝   all i   …   all i want to do is sleep. but my hunger, my thirst   …   it keeps me awake. the exhaustion keeps me from activity. the stress is incalculable, and it's not just that of the every-day   …   how can i say this   …   ❞

he noticed that they seemed to be gravitating toward each other, with dante positioning themself so that vergilius could more easily read the tablet, and vergilius leaning forward, eventually poised with elbows on his knees. his posture was that of a man nearly fallen-apart. he was not as strong as he once was⸻ his strength came from adrenaline, and after that rush came a great stillness. the quiet was hard to shake, harder than it had been in past years, materializing over him in a dark tempest. it was the quiet, the absolute silence that came before a great landspout.

❝ it is unbearable. every second of it. and it will only get worse if … if i do not tell you. dante … regrettably, i have not been entirely honest with you. there are many things i deign to omit, but   … you at least deserve this truth. for being so honest with me, no matter what. i owe you that much. ❞

[toktic]

their back aches with a pain indicative of the fact they spent too long in the seat at their desk again. the building pressure rolling up their back makes them lean in their seat with a hiss of their flames that could be vaguely interpreted as a sigh. today was another longer day of consultations⸻ scattered notes across varying sinners and the sessions they had. neatly written words on paper with brightly colored marker strokes underneath certain keywords or topics they'd need to dwell into the next round of sessions they had. reminders for themselves of preparations they need to make for next time. reminders on themselves for questions or worries they wanted to express to faust as well. they suddenly had a lot more of those. they still hadn't overlooked the results of todays dailies either. a seemingly pathetic little ding of their head came out. stressful as it maybe this ... was their normal. they may complain now but it's something they couldn't do without at this point. in fact, it was grounding them after the horrific events of near-assassination and their first-hand experience with those sweepers. they barely slept as it was but this had made a minor fear associated with a windy breeze so as much trickling against them or their skin prevent them from wanting to humor the concept. even closing their "eyes" wasn't so easy anymore. but work was always a coping mechanism. it helped to stay busy- helped to divert attention to other matters. helped-... tick tick tick.

was that vergilius at their door? an almost comical surprised spree of ticks fly out from their head with the wiggle of their hour hand. mostly a case of an < o - oh? > not a common visitor to their office. wait... a hand slowly reached for the calendar on their desk. ...no... there was nothing scheduled on here with him.

they slowly stood up, a hand motioning for him to enter the room. < yes? > they tilt their head, an inquisitive motion. the only thing they can do his read his body. the fact that he drew out what it was he wanted to say. the hesitation in outright entering the room- his posture and the demeanor he carried. something serious ... i think? < something? well, i'm pretty good at helping in most cases so i can pull that off... > they point towards the seat in front of them. < maybe close the door behind you while you're at it. >

[scarletgaze]

vergilius pursed his lips tightly.   being told to do something by dante   …   it was a mere suggestion,   polite as it always was,   but it was almost enough to make him flush.   if he could do that.   he was blood-starved enough that there may as well have been none in him at all.   that was hardly an issue,   though⸻   he always pushed it to the background of his mind.   there were much more pressing matters at all times.   they couldn’t know.   none of them could know, least of all dante.   who wanted a lowly, starving monster as their guide?

the relief of being invited in washed over him, a cool bath of rainwater.   he stepped in,   wooden in all his movements⸻   it was true.   only once in a blue moon did he approach dante like this, and he did happen to much prefer blood moons.   he slowly shut the door behind him,   pulling it firmly until it clicked.   he was far from forceful,   instead guiding the door closed with a docile yet stable hand.   hesitating,   he looked to dante again,   watching them intently not much unlike a tiger in the shadows.   he did not intend to be threatening,   but he was simply so aware of everything all the time that even the smallest click or chime pierced his ears.   it was easier to look at dante with their prosthetic than it would be to look into the eyes of a sinner.   he shuffled to the chair they gestured at, sitting stiffly. no part of his face wavered ( it was as stony as always ),   yet his heart did.   

what did he begin with?   an apology?   no,   no,   never that   …   that would insinuate he’d done something wrong merely by existing.   of course, his entire existence was blasphemy,   but that was hardly the point.   maybe he should lighten up on the introspection a touch.

❝   you…   ❞   red eyes went unblinking, but he was no longer looking at dante, clearly ashamed of having to put even an ounce of his burden onto someone so innocent. how, exactly, to put this?  ❝   i have found you to be accommodating, that is correct. all of the sinners are fine. charon is fine. but   …   i   … it’s   …   i was looking for your input.   i wouldn’t call it advice.   i have seen better days,   dante. with each hour that passes,   i find it more and more difficult to focus.   what do you do when   …   such difficulty arises for you?   we must power through,   continue walking,   but   …   how?   ❞