Scarlet @scarlets0sdays - Tumblr Blog

Hello I'm back again

So anyway, many things had happened this past few months and I finally have the courage to delete and let go of everything.

I wanna live a life in my own rules and not whatever I see on the internet so I'm gonna erase this very tumbler account, I don't give a fuck whatever I put here anymore but if there is something I will miss here it will be- Nothing...

Anyway I had fun so that's all for now I'm gonna be signing off now so

Ciao...

I don't know but right now, I'm thinking the reason Im alive is because I'm looking for someone who will listen and love me...

Everyone is selfish and that includes me.

So to my future self

If ever you found that someone who will love you truly and will be there in your vulnerable self

Please

I hope you have a wonderful and contented life...

I've been thinking of trying business study

But my mom doesn't want me to try it.

I can't blame her coz I myself don't even have the guts

I want to erase everything.

Everyone

If not-

Then I want myself to be erase from this world

Fuck leaving a legacy.

I fancy not being known by anyone.

Im not the only one having this sense of insecurity right?

I want to punch someone in the face, not just one person

A lot of faces.

I hate myself.

Story time

I woke up exactly like 7:00 and then my cats suddenly popped out of nowhere and started chasing each other.

My other cat then came running up to me and started hissing at our other cat so typically yes their fighting then when I sorted out the situation my cat just lean in me and turned into a loaf

So I let him stay in my bed for awhile then I notice he started fidgeting, when I touched the part where it's doing all that movement he suddenly hissied at me

That's when I notice that my cat have maybe sprained it's foot when playing with our other cat

That's because my other cat is staying not so close here too maybe because he doesn't want to hurt him but to apologize

As of now my cat is healing in my bed- yes he took all the bed for himself

While my other cat is in my desk-

Where am I?

On the floor

What I do for my cats ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

That's the end of the story

#cat story #story time #love for cats

I wanna open up to something.

I don't want to be selfish but sometimes I wish I have a better Father...

Continuation.

Ain't they so Cutee🥺✨

I download this app because I was so bored in our discussion

I hate and love my classmates

Maybe everyone can relate to that!-

In school there will always be

People in a group or people who are individual

To me I can say I'm in a group why?

Well first I can't go to the canteen without having someone with me

Second I feel anxious when I don't put my attention to someone

Third I want to talk with my classmates while or after our class

And lasty I can't go to the bathroom without someone....

Back then it was so easy to move around on my own

But now people expect you to be with a group or else you will be labeled as a "Loner"

That's why I hate and love my classmates because it's not their fault why things such as this happens

It's just how our society evolved around being social.

I'm not such if it applies to all but I can say all of this based on my experience...

That's all thank you ☺️

#random thoughts

Good Morning Scar!

Today's a Monday 🙂 yey!!!!!!

Anyway

Waking up in the morning

I always have this existential questions of what am I supposed to do again

And what are the impacts in my life if I do it.

Anyway I don't have any clue as how I'm going to do

So instead I just waste my time in social media or listening to music

Ow- my cat is here !!!!

My cat stepped on my boobs my gosh

Anyway that all I have to feed it now

That's all adios, I'll just think of what are the things I should do ☺️

April 5, 2021

Monday - 07:01

If I'm a guy...

I would have already killed billions of sperm cells in a day...

#random thought

Today I just remembered that I use social media now to post my shits-

Well anyway so today I mean not today since it's April 1 now but just earlier I went to my Best Friends place to help them out in their things (school work) I really had fun

Their the type of friend that you can really hang out with and has a personality that makes you grow up and guide them and I like that

I love being with them it makes my insides happy 😊 like butterflies fluttering my stomach everytime they do something cute

Do I sound like a pervert 🤣

Anyway I had fun

I wish this covid could just disappear because i miss my friends so much...

Is it childish of me to have two nightlights in the age of seventeen...

I'm really scared of the dark- and no not because of ghost it's because I'm afraid of being in the dark alone and I can't see anything and the things that I don't know scares me.

#random #bed thoughts #fear

March 29 2021 Monday

I

Hate

Mondays

But what I hate the most is not having a scheduled and planned life

Right now I'm yet again contemplating about my life choices

Also I feel like drowning in this abyss that I can't seem to get out off

While others are already up, I'm stil down here...

I wanna rise to the top

I wanna do something more

I wanna learn

I wanna be reborn and change the things that I wasn't able to change in me

I don't believe in reincarnation

But if ever that thing 👆 happens to me-

Well dear God I hope I can live my life to the fullest.

That's all for now

I'm glad I was able to have the strength to at least put some shits here...

Now then see u again S

Love u always

-scar

Well then I never I expected that life really hates me.

I never got to be part of the Deans list.

But who am I to be mad about, I was really never good in the very first place...

Still though the thought of being able to have something- something I can tell my folks.

But yet again I'm who I am-

Unlucky

Dumb

Not good enough

Worthless

Annoying

Whatever every fucking bad words u can find in the dictionary.

That's all I guess-

I got to throw some fuse coz I'm jealous of the others

I wanna go higher but of course I cant coz I know pretty much myself is so lazy

The fact that I can't even update my shits here is the evidence of my laziness.

I hate myself.

I really do

I don't even like studying in the first place.

Im just studying because it's part of life.

Who the fuck am I even

(don't worry it's a coping mechanism I do to not beat myself up to much)

Anyway that's all

I'd like to finish all of this as soon as possible.

Maybe ending my life is much more better hahaha

Kidding.

I'll keep holding on for now

See you again Scar.

Love u always

S-

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