Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that his father Malik Bin an-Nadr complained to his wife Umm Sulaym (Anas’s mother), “This man (the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him) is forbidding khamr (wine/intoxicants).” So he departed to Sham [areas of Syria-Lebanon-Palestine-Jordan at that time] (seeking freedom) and died there.
Abu Talhah then approached Umm Sulaym for marriage. She was a small woman with beautiful eyes. She responded, “O Abu Talhah! A man like you should not be refused. However, you are a disbeliever and I am a Muslim. Thus I may not marry you!” He said, “This is not what previously used to attract you.” She asked, “And what used to attract me?” He replied, “The yellow and the white (i.e. gold and silver).” She said, “I do not want any yellow or white. All I want from you is Islam. If you embrace Islam, this will be my mahr (dowry), and I will ask you for nothing else.” He asked, “Who will help me with that?” She replied “Allaah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) will help you.”
Abu Talhah went to Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) while he was sitting among his companions. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw him, he said, “Here comes Abu Talhah to you, with the sign of Islam between his eyes.” He told Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) about what Umm Sulaym said, and he (peace and blessings be upon him) married them for that specified mahr [dowry].
Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, “We never heard of any greater mahr [dowry] than the one she requested, which is Islam!”
So Abu Talhah married her, and she bore him a son to whom he became strongly attached. The child then became severely ill, and Abu Talhah was strongly overwhelmed by that. Abu Talhah’s habit was to get up for the morning prayer, perform wudu [ablution], to pray with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), stay with him close to midday, then come home to eat and rest. He would then pray zhur [early afternoon prayer], prepare himself, and leave again until the night prayer. One evening, Abu Talhah was in the Masjid (mosque) with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when the child passed away.
Umm Sulaym said to those with her, “Let no one announce to Abu Talhah the death of his son, until I be the first to announce it to him.” She then prepared the body (for burial), put it in a far side of the house and covered it with a piece of cloth.
Abu Talhah came back from the Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) Masjid (mosque) with a group of his companions. He asked her, “How is my son doing?” She replied, “O Abu Talhah! Since he fell sick, he was never more quiet than he is now, and I hope that he is now resting!” She then brought the dinner and put it in front of them. They ate, and the men departed.
Abu Talhah went to bed. Umm Sulaym beautified herself, wore perfume, and followed him to bed. As soon as he smelled the perfume, he did what a man would toward his wife.
Toward the end of the night, she said, “O Abu Talhah! If someone lends something to another and then request it back, would he have any right to refuse returning it?” He replied, “No!” She said, “Allaah (exalted and glorified) has then lent you your son for an appointed term, and then took him back. So seek His reward and be patient!” He became angry and said, “You waited until I disgraced myself with what I have done, and then you announced to me my son’s death!” He then said the istrijaa’ (to Allaah we belong and to Him we return) and praised Allaah.
In the morning, he performed ghusl [shower/purification], went to Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), prayed with him, and told him what happened. Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“May Allaah bless for you [two] what you [both] have done last night.”
Umm Sulaym became pregnant (from that night), and (when he was informed of it) the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “When she delivers, bring me the baby.”
Umm Sulaym used to travel with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), leaving when he left, and returning when he returned. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was preparing for a trip when Umm Sulaym was in advanced pregnancy and was feeling some pain of labour. Abu Talhah found himself restrained by that, and he said, “O my Lord! You know that I like to go with Your Messenger when he goes, and return with him when He returns, but I have been restrained as You see.” Umm Sulaym told him, “O Abu Talhah! I do not feel the pain anymore, so let us go.” Thus they went on that trip with Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).
As they approached al-Madinah on their way back, she went into full labour and delivered a boy. She told her son Anas, “O Anas, take these dates, and do not let the baby eat anything until you give him first to Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) in the morning.”
The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him) practice was not to enter suddenly into al-Madinah, but to camp on its outskirts before entering it. Anas took care of his baby brother all night, leaning over him, trying to soothe him.
In the morning, he took him to Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). He found him wearing a striped cloak and marking some cattle that he had received. When he saw the baby he asked Anas, “Did Milhaan’s daughter deliver?” He replied, “Yes!” He said, “Wait until I finish what I am doing.”
He then put away what he had in his hand, held the baby, and asked, “Did you bring anything with him?” He replied, “Yes, some dates.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) took some dates, chewed on them, mixing them with his saliva, opened the baby’s mouth, and rubbed the chewed dates inside his mouth. The baby started hungrily sucking the sweetness of the dates as well as Allaah’s Messenger’s (peace and blessings be upon him) saliva. Thus the first thing to enter the baby’s stomach was the saliva of Allaah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). He then said:
“Watch how the Ansar [natives of al-Madinah] love dates!”
Anas then said, “O Allaah’s Messenger, give him a name.” The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) rubbed the baby’s face and named him Abdullaah.
Anas said that no youth among al-Ansar [natives of al-Madinah] was better than Abdullaah. Many men descended from him and he was martyred in Persia.
Source: Funeral Regulations and Exhortations 2nd Edition by Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly, pages 42-45, published by Al-Kitaab & as-Sunnah Publishing
Lessons that I personally derived:
1. Patience if we don’t get what we want, because Allaah knows what is best for us, and He will replace it with what is better.
2. Patience in general with afflictions and acceptance of Allaah’s decree.
3. The Sunnah of mixing dates with one’s saliva and feeding it to the newborn.
4. The simplicity of marriage and the beauty of the dowry being just Islam from the suitor and not the riches of this world.
5. The greatness of the name Abdullah (the slave of Allah).
6. The wife giving priority to her husband’s feelings by not reacting to her own baby’s death and ensuring her husband’s needs are all met before she delivers the news to him. Her earlier statement about the baby being quiet and resting – implicitly meaning the baby died but that could also mean that he was in fact sleeping. Umm Sulaym’s brilliant way of informing her husband about his son’s death by using the analogy of Allaah taking back His trust.
7. The husband’s anger did not stop him from mentioning Allaah when the wife instructed him to do so nor did the husband cross the bounds with Allaah in such a sensitive situation.
8. The wife journeying with her husband because he loved to travel with the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him despite the nearness of delivery of the baby. The husband did not insist that his wife must travel, but she voluntarily said she would.
9. The value of attending the dawn and night prayers in congregation for the man.
10. Anas taking care of his newborn brother and obedience to the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him in not feeding the baby anything until the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him takes him.
11. The Prophet's, peace and blessings be upon him, habit of camping on the outskirts of al-Madinah before entering. This was probably done so as not to startle the inhabitants.
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