What are you going to do? Punch me?

You can't fucking punch me, I'm imaginary you dumbshit: 26-she/her. Bi/Demi-Sexual, can call me Scene! Also intruality and Roceit are the best ships fight me on it. No idea the artist of my banner but credit goes to them!!

[scenecipriano]

[scenecipriano]

Lilith: From the stories of your past you rarely denied yourself the pleasures of the flesh-

Lucifer: Charlie are you going to sit there and let your mother call me a tramp????

Charlie: Ehhh…I feel this is a risky time to weigh in…

Alastor popping up holding a tray of cheese balls: Agreed Princess! No more fighting! Let’s all enjoy a cheese ball! It’s my grandmamas 100 year old recipe only I used cayenne pepper instead of cocaine! Haha!

[scenecipriano]

Satan: Blitzo for your crimes, I sentence you to dea-

Lucifer: Oh my dad could you speed this up? I’m missing my stories for this- no ya know what?

Lucifer snapping his fingers and accidentally killing Moxxie: There- wait-..

Blitz, Millie, and Loona: MOXXIE!?

Lucifer snapping frantically and killing the other three: MY BAD ITS BEEN AWHILE-

The sins: *absolutely horrified*

Stolas making his grand entrance: I OBJECT-

Lucifer: Does he need to go too?

The Sins: NO!!!

[scenecipriano]

I just saw a video of someone saying if Lucifer had been part of Blitz’s trial that he’d just be like “Alright kill him so I can go home” and like…he absolutely would 😂😂

[notherpuppet]

Magic mama ❇️

[notherpuppet]

Bambi 🌳🪾🦌🩸

[scenecipriano]

The people at C&A: “We made a perfectly functioning AI”

Everyone in the circus:You fucked up a pair of sentient teeth is what you did, look at it it has anxiety”

[scenecipriano]

Valentino: Vincent? I knew your ass was white.

Vox scrolling on his phone: Yeah well I don’t fuck like a white man so think about that.

[zombieyvalia]

Do you think Val & Vel feed Vox mood stabilizers in a piece of cheese like a dog taking medication

[scenecipriano]

Vincent: Bob why would you hire this guy… he’s black

Alastor: And you’re a white English Protestant, but you don’t see me complaining

Vincent: how the fuck do you know that

[floydtheflorist]

Two grown ass man btw

[scenecipriano]

Vox: Alastor, will I ever see you naked?

Alastor looking at Vox over his book: Oh…Alright it is valentines day.

Vox excited: REALLY?

Alastor setting his book down: Really

Vox readying his camera: Okay go ahead!

Alastor lifting his left pant leg showing off his ankle: There you are dear

Vox dropping his camera: Are you fucking KIDDING ME!?

[notherpuppet]

Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️

[scenecipriano]

Alastor doing his broadcast: Okay my wayward sinners! Let’s send this broadcast off with a song dedicated to the love of my life Vincent

Vox in V-Tower listening: *spits out his coffee*

Alastor: *Proceeds to play Whose Bed have your boots been under by Shania Twain*

~Later~

All of the televisions in Pride: BREAKING NEWS

Vox with a glitching shadow tendril around his neck: T-This just in!! I’m a cheating piece of shit with-…do I really have to say this?

Alastor: SAY IT-

Vox sighing: With a tiny dick…Haha Trust US with my slander and public humiliation! Alastor I’m sor-

Broadcast gets cut off with Vox’s screams

[scenecipriano]

Executioner Alastor: PERMISSION TO USE LETHAL FORCE SIR!?

Lucifer scrolling on his phone: I don’t care

Alastor: SIR YES SIR *turns to the unwanted sinners grinning* R̷̡̯͍̉ũ̴̧̡̡̨̬͉͎̟̝̳͉̮̋͜ͅņ̶̧̰̜̜͓͇̹̮̮̒̈̊͑̿̚͘

[scenecipriano]

Got bored 😂

[scenecipriano]

…if Vox gets an STD from Val it pops up on his screen like “You’ve Got Mail!” Only instead it’s like “You’ve got genital warts!” For the world to see.