This whole story originally started as a random Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, however… it’s evolved into much more than that. So, to avoid having the original characters totally take over our fanfiction entitled Schadenfreude, we bring you Schadenfreude: tumblr. All original characters (though with some Alfons Heiderich at times). Enjoy.
West-Berlin (mostly), 1978-1989. Berlin (western Bezirke); 1990-present.
This blog was created out of my use of writing as a coping mechanism for reverse culture shock when I returned from Leipzig in 2014.
Now, I’m leaving the greater Berlin area (Potsdam, specifically), and I thought it might help to preemptively create a blog for the same purpose, featuring characters (many of whom have appeared here) in West Berlin in the 80s.
West Berlin was chosen after much deliberation (”why not just start a new set of characters in Potsdam / modern Berlin!?”) because of the election season and my rising resentment toward all things America, which was nowhere near as strong last time. West Berlin, specifically the Bezirke occupied by American forces, almost forces me to write about America and Americans in a neutral-to-positive light. Writing characters who went to a German-American school, who have American friends and acquaintances, who enjoy American media, means to me that I can’t follow it up with “America is garbage”. At the very least, my experience with Germans who lived in West Berlin during American occupation was an overwhelmingly positive one - they liked America, even if they disagreed with certain policies and conflicts (i.e. tapping Merkel’s phone, intervention in the Middle East), which, frankly, was never really matched by anyone I met who grew up in East Germany or, later, the Neue Bundesländer (former Eastern states).
I’ve already written a bunch starring these characters; they all already have fleshed out personalities and interests, so that was another thing working for me.
Anyway, although Leipzig will always, always have a special place in my heart, I have a feeling I’ll be missing Berlin more than Leipzig when I go back this time.
it's really a modification and extension of last year's halloween fic, but I did add a lot and change some significant things.
it takes place in 2010, and the party is on a saturday, as halloween that year was on a sunday.
“I really don't know why I thought it was a good idea to live with them,” Ross muttered as he fastened his cufflinks. Through the wall, he could tell that Johan and Felicie weren't exactly... getting ready for the party.
“You didn't think Felicie would really come up every weekend... and you certainly didn't expect her to move in... or, at least... that's what you told me.” Liesa rolled her eyes. “We'd be hearing someone have sex, anyway.”
“Yes, but not my little sister.”
Liesa buttoned up his shirt for him. “She's nineteen... I don't really think you can call her little anymore. Besides... Johan's an angel... especially when you consider the other guys that she's dated.”
He kissed her, lingering for a few moments before saying, “I know, but that doesn't mean that I want to hear them having sex.” He trailed down to kiss her neck. She buried her fingers in his hair, and he pulled her close. When he hit a particularly sensitive spot, she gasped. Moments later, she was unbuttoning his shirt and pulling him onto the bed. They were halfway undressed when there was a knock at the door.
“People should start getting here in about half an hour... you two might want to get ready.”
“Yeah, thanks!” Ross called back. He went to get up, but Liesa pulled him back down.
“Half an hour?” she murmured. “I think we have plenty of time...”
He grinned. “Is that so...? Well, let's see about that...” He trailed kisses down her neck, her chest, and further down. Liesa was only too eager to help him pull off her underwear so that he could have better access.
-
“I have to say, I'm impressed.”
“Huh?” Liesa patted down her hair, unsure of how well she'd brushed it.
Felicie smirked. “Sex and a full costume and makeup in twenty-eight minutes? It's impressive.”
“Well, uh, Ross still has to do his cravat... and... we forgot our fangs!” She rushed back to the bedroom she and Ross shared to grab the prosthetic fangs that they'd bought for their costumes. Ross was tying his cravat.
“How do I look?”
She looked him over, eyes lingering. “Like the sexiest and most gorgeous vampire in the history of vampires...” She ran a hand down the front of his costume. “I just want to rip all of this off of you and have my way with you...”
Ross grinned. “Mm, well, I'm not quite sure we have time for that. Besides... you did just have your way with me a few minutes ago...”
She kissed him. “But only half an hour... mmm, that wasn't nearly enough time to do everything I wanted to do to you...”
“Oh, believe me, I know. I didn't get you off nearly as many times as I wanted to, either...” He kissed her again. “But... we do have to make an appearance at this party, you know...”
Liesa groaned. “I just want to spend all night locked in this room with you...” She ran her index finger down his costume. “Just... the two of us...”
Ross swallowed hard as Liesa played with the waistband of his pants. “Um... tell you what... if the party gets... busy... we'll come back to the room and you can do whatever you want to me.”
“Mm... I suppose I can't really complain about that... and it would be awfully rude of me to give you blue balls...” She moved her hands to either side of his face and kissed him. “I should... put my fangs on...”
“Yeah...” He kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
Liesa kissed him. Hard.
-
“Johan, what the hell are you wearing?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “I, uh... don't really know? But Felicie said she'd wear a corset as part of her costume if I did, and, uh... well...”
“...So you're wearing leather pants in order to get to see my sister in a corset?”
“...Yes?”
“Don't you already see her in less than that enough?”
Johan cleared his throat. “Uh... not really, no. Besides, much as I might love those lacy bras she wears... I've never seen her in a corset, and, let's be honest, who would I be to turn down that opportunity?”
“Johan?”
“Yeah?”
“You do realise that Felicie is my little sister, right?” Ross's expression was much less threatening with the prosthetic fangs, but Johan still backed off.
“...Right. Sorry, man, it's just... you talk about Liesa all the time, and sometimes I forget that, uh, Felicie isn't exactly... someone you want to hear about in any sort of sexual way.” He clapped his friend on the back.
“...You must really love my sister if she got you to wear leather pants and those... straps? I mean... clearly you didn't just do it for sex.”
Johan laughed. “No; I think she cares more about having sex on a regular basis than I – oh. Right. Sorry. But, uh, you're right; I really love her. I've never felt this way about anyone before... I mean, honestly, I think I'd be just as happy just cuddling up close to her every night as I would be –”
“Don't finish that. I know. I have ears.”
“Ha. Right. Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think we're pirates, by the way. I mean. Judging from Felicie's costume... and she made me wear these boots.”
Ross looked down to Johan's feet and nodded. “Well, I can't imagine what else you'd be.”
Sure enough, Felicie walked by wearing a corset that was really too tight for Ross's comfort, paired with leather pants of her own, leather thigh-high boots, and a pirate hat.
“Really.”
“I'm a sexy pirate,” Felicie said with a shrug. “I know you wouldn't have any issue with Liesa dressing like this.”
“No, because Liesa's my girlfriend and you are my little sister.”
Felicie rolled her eyes. “I could be dressing like this for some scumbag, you know.” To prove her point, she leaned up (even in her – absurdly high, in Ross's opinion – heeled boots, she was still significantly shorter than her boyfriend) and kissed Johan. Her boyfriend wrapped his arms around her waist, only too happy to kiss her back. Ross made a face and went to help Liesa set up in the kitchen.
-
“I'm sorry, Mr. Whiskers. You be a good boy while we have our party.” Liesa was still holding her cat, and she scratched him behind his ears. “I brought some food and water in here for you, and a spare litter box...” She kissed the top of his head, and he meowed. “You can't come out into the party... there are going to be too many people here for you to feel comfortable out there.” She petted him again before putting him down on the bed. She picked up a toy from his basket and put it in front of him. “And I'm leaving the shutters open so you can look out if you'd like...”
The cat meowed again, and Liesa couldn't help herself from hugging him and kissing the top of his head again. “You be good. I'll put a sign on the door so no one opens it.”
She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note, and taped it on the door before shutting it and leaving her cat alone in the room.
-
Ross rolled his eyes when he saw Liane's costume. “...A cat suit?”
“Christian,” she began; Ross knew that tone all too well: he was in trouble with his older sister. “I'm a grown woman, and look and what Liesa's wearing.” In fact, Liesa's costume, in a style very typical of her day to day wardrobe, included a skirt which Ross would've deemed much too short on either of his sisters.
“It's still too cold for that skirt,” he muttered, averting his eyes.
“Good thing it's warm in here.” She shrugged. “Besides, at least I'm wearing a skirt... I could've shown up in lingerie with cat ears and a tail... but... I decided to spare my little brother the sight.”
“Good.” He had the feeling that she was in possession of such a costume, but found it better not to ask. “Uh... nice to see you again, Roderich.” He nodded to his older sister's boyfriend, who, as far as he could tell, was also dressed up as a cat, although fortunately he wasn't wearing anything too form-fitting.
“Good to see you, too.”
“You had to bring him?” Felicie drawled, her arms crossed.
“Seeing as Roderich is my boyfriend, yes. But I guess Johan is the first guy you've dated who has any ability to reason whatsoever.”
Ross, sensing danger, extracted himself from the conversation by saying: “I'm... going to go see if Liesa needs anything.” He walked as quickly as possible into the kitchen, where Johan was mixing punch.
“I only put, like, three shots of vodka in,” he said as soon as he saw Ross.
Ross had a feeling that this wasn't strictly true, but he had bigger issues: “I wouldn't go out there, if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“Um... Liane showed up, and... she and Felicie are arguing about, um... you and Roderich?”
As if on cue, Roderich entered the kitchen. “You don't have anything to drink do you? Liane and I are staying with her godfather tonight, don't worry.”
“I'm... sorry about that. They, uh... they're very different...”
Roderich fixed him with a look. “Couldn't tell.”
“Uh, here...” Johan offered the (half-full, when it had been full earlier; Ross rolled his eyes) bottle of vodka on the counter and a shot glass to Roderich. “The punch is spiked, too, if you don't like it straight.”
“Felicie's just not... very practical, and Liane is too practical, well, to get along well with Felicie...” Ross added. “And, uh... well, you two aren't really that much alike, either...”
“We're not sisters,” Roderich said. He took a shot of vodka. “It's a sibling thing... I never got along well with my brother, either. I think it's a little different when you're opposite-sex siblings, but... I don't think I've ever met same-sex siblings who got along very well...”
“My friend Alfons is very close to his brother,” Ross supplied, “But... uh... now that I think about it, he's probably the only one.”
“Johan, what the hell are you wearing?” Liesa asked, her cat in her arms. Ross petted the animal as Liesa got close to him.
“Felicie promised to wear a corset if I wore this. She said we're sexy pirates... I... I don't know. I mostly just wanted to see her in a corset. Besides, it doesn't look too bad, does it?”
“She should be glad this is a couples-only party.”
Johan furrowed his brows, but didn't ask what Liesa meant.
“What is Mr. Whiskers doing out here? I thought he was going to stay in our room for the party?” Ross asked, petting the cat.
“Well, he was, but I went to go to the bathroom and I heard him crying to get out, so I couldn't just leave him there... besides, no one's even here yet. Just Liane and Roderich, and Ayla texted me that she'll be here soon, and I don't know where anyone else is... I figured we could let him out until more people come...” She pouted, and Ross wasn't sure if she was doing it intentionally or not.
“I don't mind...!” Ross defended. “I was just curious.”
“Liesa, if you coddle your cat this much, what're you going to do when you have a baby?” Johan was smirking, and Liesa shrugged in response.
“I think Ross will coddle our children more than me, honestly.”
“Well, our children will deserve to be coddled. And spoiled. And of course I'll threaten to beat up the parents of any kids who give our children a hard time...”
“Mm, you did do an impressive number on Eduard that one time... but I should hope you'll tone it down in the case of our children...”
“He hurt you; I wasn't going to stand for that.”
Johan and Roderich exchanged looks.
“I still don't buy that you're the one who beat the shit out of him,” Johan said, crossing his arms. “You're too nice.”
“He hurt Liesa. To be honest, I sort of... blacked out.”
“Still don't buy it.” Johan poured himself a cup of punch.
Roderich looked at Mr. Whiskers in wonder. “That is the most docile cat I have ever seen.”
“He loves being cuddled by his human,” Liesa cooed, holding the cat close.
Felicie stormed into the kitchen, grabbed Johan by one of the leather straps crossing his chest, yanked him down, and kissed him. “I fucking love you.”
“I, uh, love you, too, beautiful. Um... what brought this on? Not that I'm complaining, or anything.”
“Liane said that I'm building you up too much, but I'm not! You're sexy and talented and an absolute angel and you're fucking mind-blowing in bed –”
“I am right here,” Ross interrupted.
Felicie ignored him. “God, I love you so much, sexy. You are, beyond a doubt, my absolute dream man.”
“Mm, well, you're my dream girl.” He leaned down and kissed her. Ross, having had enough of this, left the kitchen for the living room.
-
“Ayla!” Liesa hugged her friend. “I'm so glad you could make it!”
“I wouldn't miss it!”
-
“I'm sorry Felicie is giving you such a hard time, bro,” Johan said as he slid the door shut behind him. He pulled a cigarette out of the pack he was carrying, lit it, and took a drag.
Roderich shrugged. “Honestly, I'd do the same if my brother ever found anyone who'd put up with him.” He took a drag of his own cigarette. “But then... my brother is an asocial, biphobic piece of shit. Liane might not be her sister's idea of exciting, but she's one of the best people I know.”
“Li's great,” Johan agreed. “And I don't get why Felicie doesn't get along with her at all.”
“Sibling thing,” Roderich suggested. “You're an only child, right?” At Johan's nod, Roderich continued. “Thought so.”
“But that doesn't mean she has to give you a hard time. I mean... I don't know what she expects me to do when I get my degree, but working at Deutsche Bank would be a godsend.”
“Oh, you're fine. You haven't given up on your lofty aspirations.”
Johan frowned. “What do you mean?”
Roderich laughed. “What, d'you think I grew up wanting to work for a bank?”
“Uh, I don't mean to be... inappropriate, or anything, but didn't you grow up sort of... lower class?”
He shrugged. “I mean, after the Wende, my mom was able to keep her job at the factory for a little while, so there was a big boost then, but then the factories started closing. Before then, I guess we were as well off as anyone who didn't work for the government.” He took another drag of his cigarette before continuing. “And after the Wende, my dad was getting paid enough that we didn't have to rely on government assistance, so we weren't impoverished or anything. We got by, and, sure, I got some hand-me-downs when I was younger, but everyone did.” He took another drag. “I think Li just doesn't understand, even though she tries hard to. But... yeah, I wanted to be an artist, at one point, and then a rock star, and then I realised... I didn't have the money, and I didn't have the talent to get by without the money. Working at Deutsche Bank is hardly the end of the world. It's a secure job, with regular hours and good pay, even if it is a little boring. I can always just go to a gig if I'm feeling too bored.” He shrugged and took another long drag of his cigarette. “I might not even have this job if my first boyfriend's parents hadn't liked me so much. His dad works there, and he sang me praises until he managed to get me a paid internship.”
“While you were dating?”
He shook his head. “Nah; Benjy and I broke up on good terms. He was going to Hamburg and neither of us wanted to do long distance... we weren't in love, and we realised afterward that we made better friends than boyfriends, anyway.” He shrugged. “Benjy's been with the same guy for, uh, almost two years now, I think, and they make a much better couple than we ever would have.”
“I haven't been able to stay friends with any of my exes,” Johan said.
Roderich shrugged. “Benjy and I never fell for each other. We weren't even really infatuated with each other, either, y'know? We got along and were attracted to each other, and we were compatible at least on a basic level, but I don't think it ever got past the feeling of a crush.” He took a drag. “You seem like you fall hard and fast.”
Johan rubbed the back of his neck and hoped Roderich couldn't see him blush. “Uh, yeah.”
“I'm not criticising that. I do, too. Benjy and I just didn't even have the level of chemistry that I had with my ex, let alone the chemistry I have with Liane. Or that he has with Gerhard.” He took another drag, this one long. “Although... I think initially my ex and I had more chemistry than Liane and I had initially... but shit with my ex fizzled out on his end pretty much as soon as I told him I loved him, the shitbag.” He didn't like talking about Niels, and the fact that he'd even brought the subject up made him wonder if maybe he'd drank too much already. “And Liane and I... well, even now it just keeps getting better. And I know she loves me so much, too.”
“Oh yeah, absolutely. And I'll have to kill you if you hurt her.”
“Li'd be more likely to hurt me... which is saying something, really, because she's an angel.”
“That's good to hear.”
“No, seriously. She donates all of her income from Praktika and then some to charities. Like, good ones, too, not the shitty feel-good charities that do nothing of impact. And animal shelters. One time, around when we first started dating, my best friend Alex wanted to talk to her but he had to work at a shelter that day, so she went with him and then afterwards she fronted all of the adoption fees for all of the animals and for the next fifty that came in so people would be able to just take them home if they couldn't afford them, and she bought them all kinds of blankets and toys and food and stuff, too. And she talks to people and tries to see where they're coming from. I have no fucking idea what she sees in me.”
Johan patted Rotz on the shoulder. “You're nice, you're smart, you're not sexist or homophobic, you're practical, you're honest without being blunt, and you adore her.”
“How could I not?” Roderich asked. “I mean I guess I shouldn't say she's perfect, cos she has her flaws, but she's like, perfect for me. Like the only thing about her I'd ever change, really, is that... well, I'd rather her not like, love kids. I know she doesn't want any kids of her own, but you know Christian and Liesa are going to have a bunch of kids and Leipzig isn't that far and they'll be over often and the very idea of that makes me uncomfortable... but, like, that's it. That one thing.”
Johan finished his cigarette and put it out. “You'll be fine. I think Liane's really fallen in love with Leipzig, and Liesa'd never live anywhere but Berlin ever again, so you won't live too close to them.”
-
“Uh... Christian, can I talk to you?”
Ross wasn't quite sure what this was all about, but nodded anyway. “Yeah, sure. Of course.”
“Outside, maybe?”
“Sure.”
Ross followed Roderich outside and shut the door behind them. “What's up?” he asked.
“Uh, well, I wanted to talk to you about something important.”
“About Liane, right?” Ross asked. Roderich nodded. “Is something wrong?”
“No; nothing's wrong! Everything's great, actually. Really great.” He shifted his weight a bit. “That's... that's just it.”
“Huh?”
“Well, uh, Li and I have been dating for two years, now, and, well, living together for a year, and...”
“You... want to propose to her?” Ross guessed.
“We've, uh, already discussed it, actually,” Roderich said with a sheepish smile. “You know how practical she is; I didn't want to push something like this on her without discussing it with her first... and, uh, she said that she'd love to marry me.” He couldn't stop himself from grinning. “Which is great, y'know?”
“Oh; congratulations!” Ross beamed.
“Thank you... but, uh, we discussed it, and she wants the proposal itself to be sort of a surprise. Like, she knows I'm going to propose and all, but she wants just when to be a surprise...”
“Well, yeah, I kinda figured. She's practical, but not... clinical or anything.”
“Right. So, uh, what I really wanted to talk to you about was... she mentioned your mother's ring... and I dunno if you were planning on proposing to Liesa with it or anything, but if not...”
“Oh yeah, no, of course! I'm buying Liesa her own ring; she wants us to make our own memories rather than dwelling on our parents or grandparents or whatever, since, y'know, there are some painful memories there... but, uh, I think Liane would really like Maman's ring!” he added quickly. “I mean, it's a beautiful ring, and Liane was closer to Maman than any of us really were. But, uh, yeah, Herr von Brandt – uh, Klaus – has it. I mean, it's just that Aunt Amalia got all of Maman's jewellery and everything for safekeeping since the original plan was us all going to live with them if Papa didn't recover, and, uh, y'know, he didn't, but we ended up going to live with Aunt Kris, who was great, but y'know, Aunt Amalia still had all of Maman's jewellery, including her rings, because Aunt Kris wasn't sure that my cousins wouldn't go through it, and Aunt Amalia was Maman's best friend. So, uh, since you're staying with him, right?”
Roderich nodded. “Just... talk to him about it, then?”
“Yeah. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to oblige; he really likes you! I mean, you and Li are so well matched, and you treat her really well, and you're practical and decent and liberal, so... how could he not approve of you?”
Roderich wanted to say that a godfather's approval was much different from a father's approval, but he hadn't drunk quite enough to kill his impulse control that badly. “Well, uh, thanks. I really do just want to make her happy.”
“Well, you do! So, there you go! But, yeah, I'm sure Li would love Maman's ring and Herr von Brandt'll give it right to you if you ask and I mean I'm gonna assume you're not gonna get married until after she graduates, because marrying in Uni seems too impulsive for either of you – especially with her Praktika. But, uh, just so you know – I don't know if Li's ever described Maman's ring to you – but it's really kind of... our father was so, uh, sappy, really. Like Herr von Brandt says I'm nowhere near as 'bad' as he was, and I know I can get out of hand sometimes.” – That was a massive understatement – “But, uh, yeah, so Papa stopped at the Cartier flagship store in Paris before he and Maman came back here, and he ordered the flashiest ring that she could possibly wear while working in a commercial kitchen. I mean, he had a replica of Princess Diana's ring made for her, too, but that was just for show – engagement pictures and all, you know – and this ring is platinum with diamonds set in the band and a heart-shaped diamond in the middle. Kind of sappy and really flashy for what he intended, but it's really pretty, and the diamonds are all really clear.”
Roderich wondered how much, exactly, this ring was worth. “I'm not doing this to save money,” he said. “I'd gladly buy her whatever ring she wanted – even if I had to save up for a year or two. It's just... she mentioned admiring her mother's ring, so I thought... the actual ring itself would be better than a replica.”
“Oh, yeah, absolutely! Don't worry; I didn't think you were being cheap or anything!”
He knew that he had no reason not to believe Ross, but Roderich still felt uncomfortable. “I, uh, didn't think you did. I just... wanted to make it clear that I'm absolutely not trying to get out of buying her a ring.”
“Oh, I know!” Ross assured him. “I mean, you love her more than anything, and you're a really good guy, so I know you wouldn't ever try to get out of buying her a ring!” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I-I'm sorry; I think I had a little bit too much to drink.”
“It's fine.” Roderich wondered, though, how much, exactly, constituted “too much” for Ross. They were around the same height, even if Ross was pretty skinny, but Roderich was sure he'd only seen him have one or two drinks. Surely he wasn't that much of a lightweight?
Maybe Rotz just needed another drink himself. He followed a still apologising Ross inside and grabbed himself a drink. Liane walked over to him, reached up, and kissed his cheek. “Have a nice talk with my brother?”
“Uh... yeah.”
“He talked too much again.” It wasn't a question. It was, after all, perhaps not in Ross Muhlfeld's nature to shut up. “I'm sorry if he made you uncomfortable.”
Roderich shrugged. “It's not his fault he was born into a family with more money than any of you know what to do with. It's just that... I usually manage to forget that with you.”
“Christian really needs to make more middle class friends,” Liane said. She kissed him. “Are you having a good time, though?”
Rotz grinned. “Absolutely. I'm not used to being the oldest one in the room, but, y'know. Alex is probably completely shitfaced by now, and god only knows what Monika's doing.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Besides... if I know Monika and Alex at all... they'll be having a party tomorrow night, too.”
“Because why in the world would a veterinarian need to be sober at work?” She smirked.
