West-Berlin (mostly), 1978-1989. Berlin (western Bezirke); 1990-present.
This blog was created out of my use of writing as a coping mechanism for reverse culture shock when I returned from Leipzig in 2014.
Now, I’m leaving the greater Berlin area (Potsdam, specifically), and I thought it might help to preemptively create a blog for the same purpose, featuring characters (many of whom have appeared here) in West Berlin in the 80s.
West Berlin was chosen after much deliberation (”why not just start a new set of characters in Potsdam / modern Berlin!?”) because of the election season and my rising resentment toward all things America, which was nowhere near as strong last time. West Berlin, specifically the Bezirke occupied by American forces, almost forces me to write about America and Americans in a neutral-to-positive light. Writing characters who went to a German-American school, who have American friends and acquaintances, who enjoy American media, means to me that I can’t follow it up with “America is garbage”. At the very least, my experience with Germans who lived in West Berlin during American occupation was an overwhelmingly positive one - they liked America, even if they disagreed with certain policies and conflicts (i.e. tapping Merkel’s phone, intervention in the Middle East), which, frankly, was never really matched by anyone I met who grew up in East Germany or, later, the Neue Bundesländer (former Eastern states).
I’ve already written a bunch starring these characters; they all already have fleshed out personalities and interests, so that was another thing working for me.
Anyway, although Leipzig will always, always have a special place in my heart, I have a feeling I’ll be missing Berlin more than Leipzig when I go back this time.
“Listen,” Amalia said as Roderich sat down on the settee across from her. “I can only imagine what Kristina Muhlfeld asked you.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, she... was pretty invasive.”
“She bought my at the time fifteen-year-old daughter a gift card to a lingerie shop. Of course, sex is a natural part of life, and women shouldn't be shamed for enjoying sex, but there's a difference between acknowledging that sex is a natural thing for women to enjoy and buying an underage girl a gift card to a lingerie shop because she's dating your nephew.”
“...She really did that?” Roderich asked. “I mean... she bought me condoms and a book on how to please a woman in bed, but... I'm twenty-three. It's still not super appropriate, but it's not... that.”
“Oh, she really did that,” Amalia said. “But then what do you expect from an adult woman who's still wrapped up in liberal feminism like a teenager?” She sighed. “Look, I trust Liane's judgement. She's a very good judge of character; she's rational, intelligent, and very level-headed. If she's invited you up here, then I'm sure that you're rational and practical enough that I don't need to worry.”
“Uh, I like to think so, ma'am.”
“Please don't call me ma'am. Frau Dr. Sachs is fine.”
“Um, Frau Dr. Sachs, then. I, uh, study econ and management, and, uh...”
“And I trust Liane's judgement. I didn't want to talk to you about your degree, or your career plans, or your political leanings.”
“...Oh.” He shifted. “So, um... why did you want to talk to me?”
“Like I said: I think it's alarming that someone as old as Kristina Muhlfeld is as wrapped up in liberal feminism as she is. I'm sure she's discussed your and Liane's sex life with you, and I just... wanted to make sure a few things were clear.”
“Uh, okay...”
“I love Liane. She's my goddaughter, and her mother was one of my very best friends. I want her to be happy, and, like I said, I trust her judgement. But... unfortunately a lot of people aren't educated about consent. And I'm sure Kristina didn't discuss it with you beyond 'consent is sexy'... without actually clarifying what consent is.”
“Uh, well, yeah, kind of...”
“I'm sure you know that outright forcing someone into having sex with you is rape – sticking your hand down their pants is also rape. As is having sex with someone when they're passed out. I think those are all pretty clearly lined out, don't you?”
Roderich nodded.
“Good. But there are some grey areas. Especially when you're in a new relationship, and especially when your partner... well...”
“Is a virgin?” Roderich ventured. “I mean, she told me that. And, uh, we haven't... had sex yet.”
“Right, well... when getting intimate with someone who's never had a sexual relationship before, it's important to make sure that they actually want to do it – and not just to please you. Not that I think Liane would have sex with you just to please you, but... she loves you very much, so... if you care about her at all, I'm sure you'll get verbal confirmation.”
“Of course,” Roderich assured her. “Uh, look, no offense, Frau Dr. Sachs, but, uh... my last relationship... my ex-boyfriend, uh... he guilted me into sex a lot. And it made me feel awful, and I'd never in a million years do that to anyone, let alone someone I love as much as Liane.”
Amalia fixed him with a curious expression. “I'm so sorry that you had to go through that,” she said. “No one deserves that.”
“Um, thanks. I, uh, I always ask Liane whenever we do anything... more than making out. Always. I mean, I'd rather have her be slightly annoyed with me than... well, the alternative. And I know she's a brilliant, confident woman, but I was a smart, confident guy and my ex still managed to get me into bed when I didn't actually want to, so I'd much rather be careful than do something we'd both regret. I mean... I love her. I could probably marry her, I mean, assuming our relationship makes it through her degree. And I'll wait... as long as she wants to. I want her to be entirely comfortable with it, when it happens. And if she's not, I'll stop.”
“That's... good to hear. I mean... once you achieve a certain level of intimacy and familiarity in a sexual relationship, then there comes a point where you don't have to ask. I know I've achieved that with both of the men I've had sexual relationships with. Klaus will, still, sometimes, of course, but... he knows me well enough by now to know whether or not I'm actually in the mood. But... not the first time. You should always ask the first time, even to double-check.”
Roderich nodded. “I, uh, I will.”
“Okay. Good. Then I don't really see any reason to keep you from Liane any longer.”
“Uh... I actually... have a question.”
“Yes?”
“Liane's parents... she told me about the accident and all, but uh... what were they like? It's just, uh, I've never met anyone like her before, and she seems nothing like her aunt...”
Amalia smiled. “Liane takes after her mother, mostly. Isabel was a complete sweetheart; I only met her a few months before she moved to Berlin, but she immediately started mother-henning all of us. Admittedly, I was never Werner's biggest fan, but Isabel... evened him out. She was his voice of reason; god knows the trouble that man got in before he met her.”
“Liane said she was a chef...?”
Amalia nodded. “She graduated from le Cordon Bleu in Paris before moving to Berlin with Werner. I have to admit... their story is like something out of a film. Everyone loved her. And I'm sure she'd have insisted on fussing over you and cooking you a proper five-course French dinner. Werner probably would have been extremely critical of you – Liane was his first child, and he was always extremely protective of her. Besides... he was exactly the sort of sexist leftist who wouldn't fully value his daughters' autonomy as human beings. He never even learned how to cook or do his own laundry.”
“Oh, um.. I'm... not that kind of a leftist.”
Amalia rolled her eyes. “As I've said: I trust Liane's judgement. Besides... if she were to find out you couldn't function on your own, she'd make you learn or she'd break up with you. She's training to be a doctor; she's barely going to have time to make sure she's eating and wearing clean clothes in a few years, so she's certainly not going to have the time or patience for a man who can't take care of himself.”
Her tone was so matter-of-fact that it made Roderich slightly nervous. He could take care of himself, of course, but... Liane would get really busy with her degree. He hoped that she'd have time for him, but... well she'd said more than once before that their relationship might not make it through her degree. And, well, maybe he'd just reasoned that she was speaking about the duration of time.
“Listen, medicine is an incredibly difficult faculty. Klaus studied law and he barely had time for anything while he was studying – but his Praktikum had better hours than Liane's will. But, um, look, if Liane really loves you, and you really love her... and if it's meant to be, and you work hard at it... her final year will be incredibly difficult, but if you work hard, you can make it work out. Besides... she doesn't want to work in the ER, and as a private practise doctor her work hours should be fairly regular once she gets her degree.”
“Um, and that's years away, anyway. I'm not... deluded enough to think that just because she's not in her final year right now that it's going to be super easy dating a med student. Especially after I graduate and have a job. Of course... I love her, and I hope that we're together for a long time, but... I know it's still going to take a lot of work.”
“And communication. People are always surprised that Klaus and I have been together for so long, but we communicate, even when it's more comfortable to ignore our problems.”
Roderich had a feeling that Amalia was the one to “communicate” in those situations, but instead of voicing that, he asked, “How long have you been together? You mentioned university... have you been together that long?” If he were honest, he never really imagined West German couples getting together in university and marrying right afterward – especially when the woman apparently went on to pursue a doctorate – but there were stranger things.
Amalia laughed. “God, no. Klaus was a pretentious nerd in Gymnasium and in university. We were friends with benefits, and he was my best friend, but, god, I wanted to slap him half the time. He was a very dedicated member of the CDU for a while; I wouldn't marry anyone like that. He had to grow up a bit first, and I'm fairly sure pregnancy hormones played a part in why I initially fell in love with him, but... by that time, he'd become much more open-minded and much less insufferable. We only got together when I was pregnant with Liesa, and that was in 1990. And, since I know you won't ask, yes, Liesa is his daughter, although it's glaringly obvious. People have asked,” she added. “Not that it's any of their business.”
“Oh,” was all Roderich said. Well, that certainly wasn't traditional.
“Of course, my twin sister – our other best friend – coming out as bisexual toward the end of Gymnasium did start to ebb at his... annoying dedication to conservatism. Of course, he's nothing if not stubborn, so he still clings to the CDU label even though these days he votes all but exclusively for the SPD... which, of course, isn't left enough to be ideal for my tastes, but I know I'd be bored if we didn't have something to debate about.”
“...If his best friend is bisexual and his wife is a dedicated feminist, then why is he still even a member of the CDU? I mean... even if he's really stubborn.”
“Because, like many men, my husband can be an idiot. But he's a wonderful husband and an amazing father, and his actual beliefs are much more in line with the SPD... and his parents are dedicated christian democrats, and after quitting law to stay at home and raise our daughter while I continued with my education... I think he doesn't want to disappoint them. Which is moronic, of course, but he won't listen to reason.”
“Well... that does seem to be a running theme with straight men,” Roderich said.
“Klaus is better than most straight men, but unfortunately he hasn't managed to shake all of the trappings of hypermasculinity.” She sighed. “I'll let you get back to Liane.”
“Oh, by the way,” Liesa said, “We're having a Halloween party.”
“That's nice, Schatzi,” her father said. “Do you want us to watch Hanne?”
She shook her head. “Um actually... Ross wanted me to invite you?” She pulled the orange envelope out of her purse. “You don't have to come, of course, but... for Ross's sake, I think it'd be nice if you could stop by...”
Amalia Sachs rolled her eyes. “And what's the theme of this party?”
“Um... Ross thought it'd be a good idea if we went as Disney couples, and he found a really cute costume for Hanne that matches ours!”
“Well,” Klaus said. “Disney does own Star Wars.”
“Klaus, for god's sake, I told you the Princess Leia costume was a one-time thing.”
“Ugh, gross!” Liesa said.
“Not like that!” Klaus assured his daughter. “Uh... it's just that Werner and Isabel had a couples costume party once, and your mother figured if she dressed like Leia – normal, white-dress Leia, not slave Leia – that I'd drop the subject forever.”
“He also promised to get rid of those bulky glasses that he used to wear,” Amalia said, to make it clear that it had not been a selfless decision in the least.
“Hey, they were Moz glasses.”
“And yet for all of your admiration of Steven Morrissey, you still eat meat.”
“All organic, free-range meat from farms I've personally visited,” Klaus said. “I think that's a hell of a lot better than most people.”
“It's not good enough.”
Klaus rolled his eyes. “Ama, sweetheart, if I didn't listen to you when we were nineteen and I was desperately trying to win you over, what makes you think I'd go vegan now?”
“I can always divorce you.”
“You can, but you won't.”
“Um... I'm gonna go,” Liesa said, all too familiar with the way this was escalating. It really was gross how frequently her parents had sex with how old they were. “But um... at least think about it?”
“...I think we'll be able to stop by,” Amalia said, primarily because she dreaded what Ross would do if they didn't. The boy was already annoying enough.
Liesa grinned. “Great!” She hugged both of her parents. “Um, also... it says personalised directions are in there, but... honestly, you know where we live, so I didn't bother writing them out for you.”
“Are you inviting anyone who doesn't know where you live?”
Liesa shook her head. “I think Liane and Roderich might not know which night bus or whatever to take back, but... we could always just explain that when they get there.” She cleared her throat. “But it'll be fun! And you don't have to stay the whole time, of course... oh! and there's a picture of Hanne in her costume in there!”
Her father opened the envelope and found the picture of his granddaughter. “Oh, how precious,” he said.
“She wanted to be a fishie,” Liesa said. “That's why Ross and I are going to be Prince Eric and Princess Ariel. I think Ross was secretly hoping she'd want to be a cat, because there are a lot of really cute cat costumes for toddlers, but... not so many fish.”
“I wouldn't imagine so,” Amalia said. “She'd make a cute little black cat, though.”
Felicie almost threw the envelope straight in the trash when she saw it.
The only reason that she didn't was because she knew it wouldn't impede upon her idiot brother's insistence that she attend the party.
Liesa had already told her everything, of course, and Felicie wondered why even bother waste spending the money on postage.
She handed it to her fiancé, who was flipping absentmindedly through a copy of Brecht's Threepenny Opera in preparation for an audition the next week.
“Why send it in the mail?” he asked as soon as he realised what it was – which wasn't difficult. Ross's handwriting was unmistakeable.
Well, that and the fact that it was addressed to Felicie Muhlfeld & Johan Habicht rather than to Félicie-Sophie Muhlfeld and Johan Habicht.
“Because clearly we don't see him enough.”
“Well, we do live all the way in Friedrichshain,” Johan drawled. “It's a whole half hour away with the S-Bahn. It's a miracle we ever see him.”
“Just thank god we don't live in Zehlendorf.”
“We'd never get any sleep,” Johan agreed.
“We don't have any better prospects for Halloween, do we?” Felicie asked, sinking onto the couch next to her fiancé.
“Not unless you count the Berghain as a better prospect.”
“Oh, I do,” Felicie assured him. Of course, they went to the Berghain frequently enough that, for Halloween, it wasn't really anything very special... but it sure beat the hell out of whatever kind of party her brother would throw.
Johan opened the envelope. “Unfortunately, I'm not sure Ross will...”
“We should just break up, so he stops inviting us to these couples parties.”
Johan laughed. “Somehow, I don't think that would work. But I'm tempted.” He pulled out the letter. “Fucking christ.”
“...Shame Hannelore's not old enough for Liesa to claim she drew that.” She eyed the crudely drawn pumpkins and... was that a bat? “He should just stick to acting.”
“He has no future in the visual arts,” Johan agreed.
Felicie read the invite as her fiancé held it. “Personalised directions?” she read aloud. “Who could he possibly invite who doesn't know how to find their way to his front door?”
Johan rolled his eyes. “I'm still stuck on Disney couple.”
Felicie pulled a face. “Ugh. I wonder what Liesa had to say about that idea.”
Johan pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?” Felicie asked.
“Uh... RSVPing?”
She groaned and fell back onto the cushions. “But the Berghain!”
“We'll go Friday night.”
But Friday wasn't even actually Halloween! And she'd have to come up with a whole different costume, because there was no way she was wearing a Disney costume in public. She had standards, thank you very much.
this is a prelude, set late september 2015 (so... before roderich’s birthday)
-----
Roderich flipped through the mail with mild disinterest. A bright orange envelope caught his attention. It was addressed to Liane Muhlfeld-Vogel & Roderich Vogel, in what, really, looked like a child's handwriting, and Roderich realised with a slight sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that it was from his brother-in-law.
Christian Muhlfeld was one of the nicest people Roderich knew, really. And he knew how much his wife adored her baby brother. But Christian had a unique talent for making Roderich uncomfortable no matter the situation – he'd bring up his and Liane's dead parents, their wealth, how different their upbringing had been from Roderich's own, or, worst of all, shove a baby in his face. Christian's wife, Liesa, tried to minimize the damage, but she could only do so much.
Liesa, honestly, Roderich liked, despite her desire to be surrounded by children for a career. She was sweet, smart, and very good at reading people. Unfortunately, one couldn't say the last of those traits held true for her husband. Roderich often wondered, privately, why Liesa hadn't instead settled down with some upper-middle class teacher or something, instead of a human puppy.
Of course, he never voiced these thoughts to Liane, because to his wife, Christian Muhlfeld was a precious baby angel to be protected at all costs.
He really couldn't blame her, if he were honest. They'd lost their parents at a young age, and it was only natural that Liane would be overprotective of the one sibling who not only allowed it, but embraced it, even at age 25.
He left the envelope on the table for when Liane got home, and went to distract himself by playing with Vijalchen.
--
Liane came home half an hour later with an apology for her tardiness – Roderich shrugged it off and kissed her cheek. “We got something in the mail from your brother,” he said, wanting to get whatever it was out of the way as soon as humanly possible.
“In the mail?” Liane repeated. “Are you sure it's not a birthday card?”
“It was addressed to both of us, so I don't think so...”
“Maybe it's a holiday card. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd extended their holiday cards to Halloween.”
Oh, how Roderich hoped that was the case... but he had a sinking feeling.
Liane opened the card, and Roderich saw her visibly deflate. “They're having a Halloween party.”
“We don't have to go, do we?” he asked, although he knew the answer. Liane could never say no to her baby brother.
Roderich just hoped that they could get out of doing the elaborate costumes that Christian Muhlfeld no doubt expected.
“Just tell me your godmother is less terrifying than your aunt,” Roderich said. “Then I'll be fine.”
“Well, she's less invasive,” Liane said by way of reply as they found their seats. “She's not going to ask you if you want to marry me and have children with me, for example.”
“Good.” Roderich stowed his overnight bag overhead, and did the same for Liane's bag. “Because I'm not sure I could take that again.”
“Aunt Amalia actually... dislikes Aunt Kris.”
He frowned. “Why is that?”
“She thinks it's absurd that a woman of Aunt Kris's age is still wrapped up in liberal feminism like a teenager rather than trans- and bi-inclusive radical feminism.”
“Your godmother isn't one of those weird western feminists who idealises the GDR, is she?”
“Oh, god, no. She thinks they had some good ideas, of course – guaranteed housing, public childcare, legal abortions, quick divorce – but that they weren't implemented in the best way possible. Although... she says she used to say they had the right idea of things to antagonise her mother, but that's about it.”
“Good.”
“She grew up in West Berlin. I think she was too close to it to idealise it.”
Roderich wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
--
Amalia Sachs picked them up at Berlin-Südkreuz. She looked gorgeous, as ever. Her blonde curls fell down past her shoulders, and her dark red dress had to have been some designer number – it fit her too well to be off the rack. “I hope you don't mind, but we're taking the S-Bahn; I'd really rather not contribute to global warming any more than is necessary.”
“Why do you think we took the train up instead of driving?” Liane asked.
Amalia smiled and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. “How are you, darling?”
“I'm great,” she said. “And you?”
“...Does it make me a terrible mother to admit that I was relieved to spend half of my Christmas break without my daughter in the house?”
“Not with how loud she and Christian are. Every time I'm away from them, I think I must have exaggerated, but come Christmas or Dinard, I realise that I actually did the opposite.”
“You'd think living together would make them... calm down a bit, but it hasn't.”
“Hopefully they find a place of their own for next year,” Liane said.
“I told them Liesa should take care of it; Christian will put it off until he graduates... and... I love my daughter very much, and she's more than welcome to stay with Klaus and I for as long as she'd like, but neither of us want to see them constantly all over each other. Or god forbid hear them.”
“Honestly, that's part of why I moved to Leipzig. I knew Christian would move to Berlin, and if I had room, he'd probably rather live with me than with you, seeing as you and Uncle Klaus are his girlfriend's parents.”
Roderich cleared his throat.
“Oh!” Liane said. “I'm so sorry, Rotz, sweetie. Um, this is my godmother, Dr. Amalia Sachs. Aunt Amalia, this is my wonderful boyfriend, Roderich Vogel.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you,” Amalia said, shaking his hand.
“No; the pleasure's all mine.” He smiled, although Liane noticed that he seemed a bit tense. “Uh... Doctor? Liane hadn't mentioned that before...”
“Ph.D., actually,” Amalia said. “I'm a historian. No; going into medicine as a woman in the eighties? There was enough sexism in the humanities. One university chemistry class was more than enough misogynistic man-children who can't even speak to a woman for my tastes.”
“Unfortunately, I know the type,” Roderich said, no doubt thinking of his brother.
“I really can't fathom how men were allowed to get to power in the first place; god knows they do an awful job of being in charge. There are some rare exceptions, of course, but by and large...” She cleared her throat. “Well, I suppose we should get going. Klaus has made lunch; we just need to take the Ringbahn one stop and then the S1 to Steglitz. Our house isn't far from the S-Bahnhof.”
--
Liesa's cat, Mr. Whiskers, met them at the door.
“Oh, what a cute cat!” Rotz exclaimed.
“Yes, he's my daughter's,” Amalia said. “Although my husband's been trying to convince me to get another cat.” She rolled her eyes to show what she thought of the idea. “That man would have a menagerie if I'd let him.”
Liane laughed. “I don't think Uncle Klaus is that bad.”
“...Do you not remember that he referred to himself as Sushi's father?”
“Hey, are you never going to let me live that down?”
A tall, skinny man with curly brown hair, freckly pale skin, and striking blue eyes had come out of one of the rooms, and picked up the cat. If this was Dr. Amalia Sachs's husband, Roderich was surprised – Dr. Sachs was, to put it bluntly, absolutely stunning, but this man didn't look like he was anything special.
Amalia rolled her eyes and kissed him. “Even after you had an actual daughter?”
“What, and have Sushi get even more jealous?” He rolled his eyes.
Amalia turned to Liane. “Do you see what I have to live with?”
Her husband – because how could he be anyone else with the way Dr. Sachs talked to him – seemed to notice Roderich for the first time. “Oh, hello,” he said. “You're Liane's boyfriend, right?”
“Uh, right!” Roderich said, shaking his hand. “Roderich Vogel.”
“Klaus von Brandt.” Not Doctor or Professor, but just Klaus? Really, what was the story there?
“Pleased to meet you,” Roderich said rather than ask what was really on his mind. After all, it wasn't as if Klaus von Brandt was ugly, just... astoundingly average in appearance, and when compared with his wife... well...
“Likewise.” He turned to his wife. “Don't terrify the poor boy.”
Amalia scoffed. “He's already met Kristina.”
Klaus turned back to Roderich. “This woman told her six-year-old godson that meat was animals. The boy still doesn't eat meat to this day. But then... you've met Christian by now, haven't you?”
Roderich nodded. “He was... very nice,” he said, unable to think of any other positive way to describe his girlfriend's precious baby brother.
“Kristina was deliberately hiding it from him,” Amalia countered. “Imagine if he'd found out in Gymnasium, or if one of his friends had told him. Imagine if Liesa had told him.”
Klaus sighed. “Okay, fine.” He turned to Liane. “I think we should leave these two alone.”
Liane looked from her boyfriend to her godmother. “Okay,” she said. She kissed Roderich's cheek. “I'll put your bag in the spare room.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Roderich said.
Then he followed Doctor Amalia Sachs, Ph.D. to her study.
---------
for reference, I imagine Amalia’s body shape as something like Christina Hendricks’s, although I imagine her face and colouring to be pretty different, but that kind of stunning perfect hourglass figure.
this is the last part; it’s kind of long but there wasn’t really a good place to break it.
----
“Look, um... I know this is kind of a change of gears, but... I really hope it doesn't bother you that I haven't... done any of this before.”
Roderich waved his hand. “It's fine. I promise.”
“I wish I could give you a time frame, but...”
“But we're both busy, with full course loads, and trust me: you want your first time to be with someone you trust completely. That's not even something I realised until a while after mine, but it's true. I mean, I guess some people just want to get it over with, but uh... you're gorgeous, so... I think if that were the case with you, you'd have gotten it over with by now.”
Liane blushed. “My sister's insistent there's something wrong with me. But she lost it a month and a half after she turned fourteen with our brother's best friend – who's almost three years older than her.” She took a sip of her drink. “I don't fault her for being so young, and... well, her tastes aren't exactly conductive to finding decent guys, and the fact that, despite everything that was wrong with the situation, he apparently did everything right... but... she did lead him on, which... well, maybe he deserved it for sleeping with someone that much younger than he was, but... I don't want that, and I've never wanted that.”
“I don't think there's anything wrong with you,” Roderich said. “I mean, Monika was in university. But... I didn't just say that, because she'll kill me.”
“Understood,” Liane said.
“Look, medicine isn't usually a field people just fall into; I can't imagine how hard you worked to get the marks on your Abi to get into Humboldt for medicine.”
“...And Ludwig Maximilians and FU, too,” she added, unable to resist.
“God damn,” he said, “are you secretly a genius?”
Liane felt her cheeks heat up, but shook her head. “No; I just worked really hard. And it paid off. I had my choice of schools, and I picked the one with the program that most suited me.”
“But like, who knows; if you'd have had a boyfriend in Gymnasium, you might not have gotten your choice. You'd have gotten in somewhere, I'm sure, but... it doesn't feel as good when it's your only option.”
“Did you apply anywhere else?” His sentiment had made her curious; everything he'd said before had indicated that Leipzig had been his only option, but if not...
He cleared his throat. “Well... not seriously. I knew I was going to Leipzig because I didn't want to mess around with BAFöG. But... I applied to the Universität der Künste in Berlin... just to see if I'd get in. And, uh. I did. But... I'd already decided not to go to art school – I'd have had a future waiting tables, or, if I got particularly lucky, bartending. So I turned them down, and felt a lot better about staying here.”
“Wow,” she said. “You must be really talented, then.”
“I mean, I guess. For admissions it's not so much about talent as it is a clear grasp of the foundations, and interesting ideas. Apparently I had that.” He took a sip of his water, and Liane couldn't help but find his blushing adorable. “Um, look,” he said. “About... sex. I'll wait as long as you want. Even if it's a year. My only thing is, uh, I don't want to propose marriage to anyone without knowing if we're sexually compatible, but I don't think that's an issue for you, so...”
“Oh, no; I'm not waiting until marriage,” she assured him.
“Okay. Yeah, then I'll wait as long as you want. I don't want you to feel pressured or anything; I felt that in my last relationship and it just made me feel like shit about myself afterward, and I'd never want anyone else to feel the same way, y'know? So. All I ask is that you're completely sure when you tell me you're ready, and, uh, if, for any reason, you don't want to go through with it after that, just let me know, and we won't.”
Liane didn't meet his gaze; he was really being much more open and fair about this than she'd ever even hoped, and it was a bit too much. “Thank you,” she said.
“It's basic human decency,” he replied. “I mean, I guess most guys around our age would see a girl as gorgeous as you are and try to get into her pants, but, uh... I'm... kind of... really relationship-oriented. And, I mean, sure, that's no excuse, but my last relationship was such a shit show that I really want to make sure that doesn't happen here, or ever again with me. I'd never want to make anyone feel the way I felt then. Like, I do want to have sex with you; it's not that I'm not attracted to you, because I am. Very much so. But... I really like you, and you're such a great person that... I don't want to do anything to risk it. Not that I'd pressure anyone anyway, but... y'know.”
“Thanks,” she repeated. “That's, um. Really nice to hear.”
“Well, it's the truth.”
“...Did we ever discuss deal-breakers? I mean... I'd rather... do that now than when we're more invested...”
“Um. No. Mine are all pretty straightforward, though. You have to love dogs, which you do. No cheating – no second chances for cheating. I mean if you were drunk and someone took advantage of it, that'd be different, but... sober... absolutely not. I, uh... well, none of my friends are straight, as you've seen, so... homophobic behaviour is obviously a huge deal-breaker.” Why couldn't he just add in that he wasn't straight, either? The sooner the better, right?
“My father was in theatre and my baby brother wants to be an actor. I can count the number of straight family friends I have on one hand, so, um... that's... not an issue for me at all. Frankly, I don't see why the government is so insistent upon denying same-sex couples the opportunity to get married. Even if, in theory, domestic partnerships granted all of the same privileges as marriage – which they don't – that still wouldn't be the same. Not that that's the biggest issue LGBT people face, but... it's still an issue, and it's an easy enough one to rectify.”
“Yeah... exactly.” Well, if she wasn't homophobic, then why not? It wasn't as if he was even remotely closeted... but it didn't seem like she had any idea that he wasn't straight, either.
“Anything else?”
“Hard drugs. Weed's fine, obviously, and drinking in moderation is fine. I can't condemn smoking without being a giant hypocrite. Alcoholism would also be a deal breaker, I think, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not an issue for you.”
“I'm tipsy after a glass and a half of wine, so no.”
“Also animal abuse, or people who defend animal abuse in any way. Like I studied abroad in America in 2006 and 2007, and... there was this case, where this famous american football player got arrested for dog fighting and animal abuse and all this awful shit – and people defended him, because he was decent at some sport that only Americans give a shit about. It was disgusting. I mean... on the bright side, it made it pretty obvious who to cut out of my life and who to keep in touch with. But... how anyone could defend someone who hurts animals. Unless they actually do not realise they're hurting them – which I'm sure happens sometimes, but in that case someone else should intervene and care for the animals.”
“It is. They raise these poor dogs without love or affection, and sometimes starve them, to be these vicious killing machines, and make money watching these poor abused animals tear each other apart. And the worst part is that there's almost no rehabilitation for the animals because they've been so badly abused.”
“That's... one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard of. Who could do that to an animal?”
“Sick excuses for human beings. Honestly; animal abuse should be on par with child abuse at least.”
“This conversation took a depressing turn.”
“It did, didn't it?”
“...Where were you in America?” Liane asked.
“Uh, near Washington, D.C.”
“Did you study econ and management or something else?”
He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Technically I studied econ and management, but I mostly took art classes. I knew I wouldn't get enough classes to knock out even a semester, anyway, so I decided to make the most of it. Took a women's studies class, too, because I figured it'd be interesting. It was actually really fucking hard. And America-centric, but I mean... it was at an American university.”
“That does make sense, yes. I'd love to study abroad, but I just don't have the time in my program. I'd need to take medical classes, and then it's like... what's the point? I've yet to go to America, though.”
“Really?”
“Honest to god. I keep meaning to go, but, y'know, school. I want to go after I graduate. Some people go backpacking, but... I'm not very fond of roughing it, and I could only stay in a hostel if I trusted everyone in the room, which obviously isn't the case most of the time. I'd like to go to New York and Washington D.C....”
“Philadelphia's nice, too. Well. In the daytime. The crime rates in America are really alarming, honestly. Even the supposedly safe areas have much higher rates of crime than we do. And there are a lot of shootings. You heard about that mass shooting at a university in America a couple of years back, right?”
Liane nodded. “That was awful. That wasn't at the school you were at, was it?”
“No, no. But it was a couple of states away. He killed over thirty people in one day. And we had a TV in the apartment I lived in, and the news would come on sometimes, and it seemed like every time, someone else had gotten shot. Not in a mass shooting, but in some cross-fire or hit-and-run in the city. Like how does all that happen and no one actually manages to get stronger gun restrictions?”
“I don't know,” Liane said. “That seems counterproductive at best.”
“They use this dumb adage that 'guns don't kill people; people kill people'. Like, yeah, sure, if someone's really determined to kill someone, they're gonna do it, but a gun makes it so much easier. You can kill a lot more people with a gun than with a knife.”
“That's true...”
“We seem to keep getting on depressing topics.”
“We do, don't we?”
“Admittedly, I'm not super experienced in relationships. Both of my previous relationships were something of a joke. In high school, we knew it wasn't serious and we didn't try to make it serious... but... my most recent relationship... I doubt my feelings were even reciprocated, honestly. At least not in full. And I'm not pulling an 'oh my ex was crazy' stunt. I just... constantly felt miserable and drained and being cheated on for a second time was the last straw and... honestly, walking out was the best thing I ever did.”
“I'm sorry you had to go through that,” she said. “But at least... I'll never cheat on you; I've never seen the point. If you're unhappy, you can talk it out and sort it out, or you can leave. And if you want to have sex with lots of strange people, then don't get into a committed relationship. Open relationships are one thing, but unless you specifically say that you want an open relationship... you have to assume the other person doesn't.”
“Exactly!” Roderich said. “No, we were actually supposed to be exclusive, but apparently one boyfriend wasn't enough.” He rolled his eyes. “I'm over it, though. Well. Still kind of pissed off, honestly, but... emotionally... over it.”
“That's fine,” Liane said.
“It's just... I really like you.” That was one hell of an understatement, but he didn't want to scare her off.
Liane felt herself blush. “I really like you, too,” she said.
---------
Roderich is, of course, referring to the Michael Vick case and to Virginia Tech; iirc I wrote this around the time of the Charleston shooting and. Well. Honestly I’ve lost track. It could have been shortly after another mass shooting because I’m from fucking America so who even knows anymore.
For those curious, he studied at the University of Delaware for a year, although he never mentions it by name bc tbh ew delaware
“You... got in to Humboldt but decided to go here?”
Liane nodded. Of course, the reason she gave wasn't the whole reason, but... how could she go into how she didn't want to work at the Charité without also getting into the subject of her parents? “I mean... I'll be honest: I don't know where I want to live after I'm done university. It could very well be Berlin. But... Leipzig was more to my tastes for what I wanted for university. There's plenty to do, but... not so much that I get distracted. And, as I've said: very few tourists.”
“Well, to be fair, I couldn't imagine living in central Berlin. Where did you live, when you, uh, lived there? You said it was West-Berlin, right?”
“Mmhm. Zehlendorf; Papa wanted a house with a yard, especially since my mother wanted five children. Five children in any apartment is enough, but... a house in Zehlendorf probably cost as much as an apartment big enough for five kids in a more central area. Besides... up until a few months before I was born, my father was attending FU Berlin, which is in Dahlem... we lived close enough to campus to bike.”
“Wow,” Roderich said. “Must've been nice.”
“Well, there weren't a lot of kids in our neighbourhood. Zehlendorf is really nice, but... there weren't a lot of people my parents' age there, and most of the children were years older than I was. But I mean... at least I wasn't an only child. Once, though, when my mother took us to visit some friends in Steglitz, she was confused for an au pair.”
“Seriously?”
Liane nodded. “I mean... honestly, none of us take after her, but I was... six or so, and I remember getting so upset.”
“...Well, I'm sure I would've been, too, if anyone had said that about my mother.” Although he did have to wonder just how well-off Liane was. He was sure no one would have confused his clearly working class, East German mother for an au pair even after the Wende... and wasn't Zehlendorf supposed to be really expensive?
“My mother definitely handled it well, though.” She tried to think of a way to veer the subject away from families and parents. This wasn't something she really wanted to get into today. “You know, though, if you ever want to go to Berlin... I can show you some of the really great places that most tourists and guides overlook.”
“Yeah, that'd be great. I went to Berlin for a weekend last summer, actually – not that that was my first time in the city, but we finally started exhausting typical tourist things, and we couldn't find this one museum we really wanted to go to.”
“Which one?”
“Uh... the textile museum?”
“The Kunstgewerbemuseum?” Liane suggested. “My godmother worked as a historical consultant for plays for a while, while she was working on her degrees, and she would take us there sometimes. It's really cool, and it's right next to the Gemäldegalerie. It's actually not far from Potsdamer Platz.”
“Monika pretty much had us stuck on Museumsinsel the whole time,” Roderich said. “Which was great; don't get me wrong, but... I like to vary history museums with art museums and galleries.”
“...You know where one of my friends likes to go?”
“Where?”
“The Computer Game Museum in Friedrichshain. Apparently it's really cool and interactive; you can play all kinds of vintage games. I'm not sure if you'd really be into that, but...”
“Are you kidding? I'd love it! I mean, I'm not a super avid gamer or anything, but, like, Alex and I play video games against each other a lot. Admittedly, more when we're both single, and neither of us are obsessed, but...”
“...We haven't really talked all that much about actual interests, have we?” Liane asked.
“Well, we haven't been on many actual dates. There was the Döner, and the Zoo – and I think with both of those we talked about friends and family and degrees and Leipzig and Berlin and Munich. Then... a couple of coffees before and after class. And then my birthday... and... now this.”
“So... what do you like, besides... video games, horror films, animals, and rock music?”
“Art, mostly,” Roderich answered. “And statistics, although if you tell anyone I'll firmly deny it. I mean... I want to get into data analytics or stats, so... I have to like stats. But... mostly music and art.”
“What kind of art?”
“Oh, all kinds. I prefer two-dimensional over sculptures and architecture, but... I have to admit, we went to Schloss Charlottenburg, and I was floored.”
“That's nothing,” Liane said. “You should go to Neues Palais in Potsdam, and Sanssouci. They're these beautiful palaces – don't ask me the design style because I don't know the difference between baroque and rococo. But I was absolutely stunned by those palaces. And there's lots of original art, as well. And the park is absolutely beautiful in the summer. I didn't go much as a child, because, you know, I moved to Munich in the 90s, but I've gone when I've gone up to visit family friends in Berlin, and it's just stunning.”
Roderich smiled. “I'll have to check it out. I really want to go to the art museums in Paris one day. They're supposed to be some of the best in the world, and while I've heard the Mona Lisa is all hype, there are still other works that I'm dying to see. And New York, of course. The MoMA is on my bucket list.”
“Do you like modern art, then? There's a museum in Berlin that has rooms full of original Picassos, and... well, I don't know the names of the others. I think one might have been Matisse?”
“Wait, seriously?”
Liane nodded. “It's right across from Schloss Charlottenburg. Museum Berggruen. It was someone's private collection, but he left it to the city of Berlin after he died.”
“I'll definitely have to check it out, then. But, um... honestly... this sounds really stupid, but, uh, my favourite artist is actually a comic book artist? I'm not usually that into comic books, but this guy is just phenomenal. His name's Gabriel Bá. He's a big deal in comics, apparently, but I dunno if you'd have heard of him.”
“No, I can't say that I have,” Liane said.
“I have some of his comics at home. It's really stylised, and some people aren't huge fans, but I love it.” He cleared his throat. “Honestly, I could go on about art all day. So, uh... is there anything I don't know about you that you'd be willing to discuss?”
“Well, you already know I love red pandas... I'm very... academically-minded. I excelled the most in maths and sciences, but I also loved literature. Theatre, of course, I love as well, even though I've never entertained the notion of becoming an actress myself; it's in my blood. I enjoy the opera from time to time, but... not so much orchestras. My godmother took my siblings and I to the Berlin Philharmonic last summer and I was bored out of my mind. Operas, though... well, if they're French or German, and I can understand them. Otherwise... well, I still enjoy them, but not as thoroughly. Television's kind of tricky, because I can't stomach bad acting – or bad writing, really. Which is awful, really, because my roommate is obsessed with Verbotene Liebe.”
“Ugh, god.”
“Exactly,” she said. “I watch a lot of French films and American television programs. French films can get... depressing, though, really. Even the comedies want to pull at every emotion, which... sometimes I just want to laugh and forget about whatever's bothering me.”
“And that's why we have Matthias Schweighöfer.”
“It doesn't hurt that I can predict the endings of his films within ten minutes. There's no wondering what happens. It's all stupid.”
“Exactly.” Maybe this was the moment. Just throw in 'oh and he's hot, too, so that makes it even better' and wait. But his throat was dry; he took a sip of water, and Liane moved on to the next subject.
-----
for those unaware, Verbotene Liebe is a german soap opera. so. not the best writing or acting germany’s ever seen.
i can highly recommend most places mentioned; the only one i’ve yet to go to is the kunstgewerbemuseum.
set after liane’s talk with alex (so, after roderich’s 23rd birthday)
alternatively: roderich tries to come out to his girlfriend and fails.
----
Liane met Roderich at a café on Nikolaisstrasse after her classes. He was alone, but he had a drink; at a distance she couldn't tell if it was a gin and tonic or just fizzy water. When he saw her, he stood up. “Liane!” he greeted. “You look gorgeous!”
She felt herself blush, but smiled all the same. “Thank you,” she said.
He pulled the chair out for her, and she sat down. “Thanks,” she murmured.
“Of course,” he said, sitting down himself after he'd pushed her chair in. “Can I order you a drink?”
“Just... apple schorle, I think,” she said.
“Yeah, sure,” he said. “Uh, d'you wanna eat here, or...? I mean, it's kind of early...”
She smiled and reached to clasp his hand. “Let's just wait and see, hmm?”
He smiled, although it looked somewhat forced to Liane. “Yeah.”
“So you wanted to talk?”
“Uh, yeah, I did...” He cleared his throat. “Look, I'm not... breaking up with you, or anything! Not even close! I-I-I mean, I know you probably know that, but y'know, you hear 'I want to talk to you' and... it's hard for your heart not to skip a beat, y'know?”
Liane squeezed his hand. “I know, Roderich.”
“It's just... we've been together for a little over a month, and Alex told me that he talked to you, and uh...”
“It was fine,” she assured him. “He just... wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hurt you.”
“You?” he asked. Liane could see the absurdity; Roderich was older, and a guy, and Liane herself was petite and slender. But... still, the idea wasn't so far-fetched... at least, considering that Alex barely knew Liane; she couldn't blame him for being cautious.
Liane felt herself blush, and averted her gaze. “Um, yeah. I think it's the whole... pretty little rich girl thing. And you're... clearly not from a family with more money than they know what to do with, so...”
“Well, that's true,” he said. “Um, actually... y'know, I know we've been together for a month, but, uh... we don't really... I mean, what, uh, what do you consider our first date? It's just, uh...”
“That the concert that we never went to was on Monika's birthday?”
Roderich's eyes widened. “How'd you know that?”
“Well, she said that you... didn't meet up with her on her birthday, and you said you got distracted by some other plans... besides, if she was still holding a tiny bit of a grudge on your birthday, her birthday can't have been that much earlier in the year...”
“Very astute,” Roderich said. “Uh, yeah, that's right, so um... y'know, I don't want to make assumptions, but...”
“But if we end up being together for a year, we probably shouldn't celebrate our anniversary on your best friend's birthday? I agree... but I think that's a bridge we should cross when we get a little closer to it.”
“Oh. Right, yeah, of course.”
The waitress came by and asked for their drink orders; Liane ordered an apple schorle, and Roderich ordered a still water.
“I drink gin and tonics,” he said after the waitress left, “but I'm not big on fizzy water on its own.”
“Are you even German?” Liane joked.
“If you can keep a secret: I'm not a huge fan of beer, either.”
“What a scandal!”
Roderich grinned. “I'm sure there's something ungerman about you, too.”
“I can't stomach beer at all, actually. I'm counting the days until Glühwein is available everywhere. That's probably my favourite thing to drink... so maybe that counteracts the ungermanness of disliking beer.”
“Mm, maybe...”
“I don't like Italy, either. Or the south of France. But then that's probably because I burn in the sun.”
“At least you don't burn and freckle.”
She smiled. “I like freckles, though,” she said. “But burning's absolutely no fun. My siblings both have the same problem. Felicie likes to play it off like she doesn't like Italy and the south of France because it's too pedestrian, and that she summers in Paris – which is a lie, by the way – because she's so much more cultured than the people around her, but it's really just because she gets burned terribly if she's in the sun too long. And when we do go to Dinard, she spends half her time in boutiques, and when she's on the beach, she's coated in sunscreen. She says she's trying to bring back fair skin to western europeans, but...”
“But it's just that she can't tan?”
“Well, she can if she's really persistent, but it doesn't last very long. I mean... everyone in my family history, to my knowledge, has been extremely pale. My great- and great-great grandfather were actually famous for their striking combination of dark hair and eyes and very fair skin. Well, not just for that – they were actors.”
“Actors?” Roderich repeated, brows raised.
“Stage actors. I mean, my whole family's been – that's where the money came from. I think my maternal grandmother's family was the only branch that wasn't involved in acting in some way, but I'm not sure, to be honest. For all I know, she did community theatre or something of that nature.”
“Anyone I'd have heard of?”
“Unless you follow the stage, no. And even then... my father had a few bigger roles, but... once I was born, he didn't want anything too time-consuming.” She sighed. “Listen, I'll be honest with you: I don't like talking about my parents very much.”
“Okay,” Roderich said. “You don't need to.”
“Thank you. I mean, I'm sure if we get... closer and things progress much further – which I hope they do, of course, because I really like you – I'm sure I'll go into detail, but... it's a lovely day and it's... not a very happy subject.”
“Understood.” He cleared his throat. “Although I'm afraid my family's all been pretty... working class. My father's the first one to even really break into the middle class in god knows how long. I think I had a lesbian great-great aunt or something in the Weimar Republic who ran off with some baroness or something that no one talks about, because, you know, first women didn't have sexualities and then lesbians were only slightly better than those awful homosexual men... and for all its relative progressivism, the GDR, as I understand it, was not very fond of LGBT individuals. But, uh, other than her... it's all been factory workers. Well, the men, anyway. And my mother. My grandmothers both worked, before the Wall fell, but in textiles and in a bakery. And when my father started at the university, he was getting paid less than my mother... which, even in the GDR, that wasn't all that common.”
“Yeah, but your father is in pretty great company... teaching at the university here, I mean... it's one of the oldest in Europe; definitely one of the oldest in Germany.”
“I once knew a guy who studied philosophy here because Nietzsche and Liebknecht had. Although... I'm not sure Liebknecht was that much of a philosopher in his own right...”
“...Why not Humboldt, then? I mean... Humboldt has a much more impressive alumni record for philosophy.”
“I doubt he could get in, honestly,” Roderich said dismissively. “Humboldt is consistently one of the best universities in Europe. Leipzig is good, but... it doesn't have that record.”
“Fair enough. I considered Humboldt, and I got in, too, but... the campus, and the Charité, are so centrally located in Berlin, and I was too exhausted of tourists from living in Munich for years that ultimately I decided on Leipzig.”
another one-shot. it’s kind of long, but i like it better in one piece.
set less than a week after roderich’s 23rd birthday. namely, after the part where he tells alex and monika that he wants to marry liane bc he’s so in love with her after all of a month.
----
“Hey, uh, Liane!”
Liane turned around to see one of Roderich's friends, Alex. “Oh, hello,” she greeted.
“I didn't know you were in this class...”
“Well... I guess it isn't too surprising. I mean, veterinary science is a branch of medicine.” She wondered if he actually wanted anything, but didn't want to seem rude. So instead of asking directly, she said, “That's what Roderich said you were studying, anyway.”
“Uh, yeah. I guess a lot of little kids talk about wanting to be a vet, but I always liked animals more than people, anyway. It's a really difficult faculty, though.”
“Oh, I can imagine. I only have to learn everything about the human body. You need to learn about all different kinds of animals.”
“Exactly.” He cleared his throat. “Look, uh, I kind of wanted to talk to you. About Roderich.”
Liane couldn't imagine what this was about, but she didn't really see any reason not to agree to speak with Alex about this. After all, if it was this important... “Sure. Although... maybe we shouldn't stay in the lecture hall.”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
Liane followed him out of the hall and down into the street. “So what, exactly, did you want to talk to me about?”
“Well, your boyfriend.”
“Yes, I figured that when you said that you wanted to talk to me about Roderich...”
Alex's phone went off and he cursed when he saw the caller ID. He looked to Liane. “I'm sorry, but I have to take this.”
“Um, sure, go ahead.”
While he stepped to the side, Liane tried to think about what he could possibly want. If this were a film, she thought, maybe he'd want to prevent her from dating Roderich. But that was absurd. Liane couldn't think of any reason not to continue to date Roderich... but who knew, really?
“Uh, sorry about that,” Alex said, returning to her. “That was my boss... I don't suppose you'd want to talk at an animal shelter, would you? One of my coworkers is sick and can't come in, so I have to cover her shift.”
Well. That certainly would be interesting. “Um, sure.”
--
They arrived at the shelter rather quickly, and the workers recognised Alex right away. He introduced Liane in turn, and specified that she was not his girlfriend, but that she wanted to see how the shelter worked. Which... well, that was true enough. She was curious.
Alex took her into a room full of cats at first. He pulled out a bag of food.
“What can I do to help?” Liane asked.
“Oh, um, just... here, why don't you hold each cat while I change their food and litter?”
“Sure.” She just hoped that none of the kittens stole her heart. She hadn't paid the pet deposit, and she didn't want to come home with a new pet without discussing it with her roommate.
Alex set about his work, and began talking to her as he did so. “So... look, I don't want to get in the way of your relationship with Roderich.”
“Well, that's good news,” Liane said.
“I just... thought we should talk.”
“Okay...”
Alex cleared his throat. “Look, Rotz is a great guy. Really. And, uh, I guess... the first thing I wanna talk about is... god, this sounds stupid, but... where do you see this thing with Rotz going?”
Liane bit her lip. “I... don't know,” she said honestly. “I don't normally... do things without thinking them through, but... Roderich seemed so sweet and genuine, and I thought... well, if I'm going to do something without thinking it through, it might as well be while I'm in uni, you know? So, um... I ended up really liking him, which is great, but... I'm not really sure where it's going.”
“Fair enough,” Alex said with a shrug. “But do you think it could go... somewhere?”
“It's definitely possible. Roderich is very sweet, and thoughtful, and practical.”
“Good. I'm glad you think that. Uh, Rotz really likes you, you know?”
“So I've noticed.” She'd probably even go as far to say that she thought that Roderich liked her a lot more than she liked him – which, she thought, was really saying something, because she did really like him.
“Look, he's my best friend. I love him like a brother. And... I know he wouldn't exactly want me to tell you this, but uh... I feel like I kind of have to.”
“Okay...” Liane picked up a kitten as Alex changed the box.
“Rotz's last relationship... it didn't end well. And Rotz is in a really vulnerable place right now, still, like, even though they broke up, like, six months before you two even went on a date. Cos, like, they dated for years, and Rotz was so in love, and it kind of... blew up in his face.” Alex cleared his throat. “Look, you cannot tell him I told you this.”
“Um, okay...” Although she wondered why he was even telling her this in the first place, if it would upset Roderich so much.
“Rotz... was cheated on. Repeatedly. And, um, I've kind of noticed that... when he's around you... he's very... eager to please.” He cleared his throat. “You can put the kitten back, now,” he added. Liane did so, unsure of what to say, but Alex just continued. “So, like, if he does anything that's kind of... like, if he seems like he's just trying to please you, just let him know that, y'know, you like him. And, like, for what it's worth, he is really practical and thoughtful and kind of his own accord. He's always been... well, he hasn't always been practical, but he has since his Abi, at least, so that's long enough, really, to count. But he's always been thoughtful and kind. So that's not, like, just trying to please you. That's actually him. But, um, in his last relationship, he was talked into doing a lot of things, that, uh, didn't make him happy at all, but he did them, because he was in love. And, I guess what I'm saying is that I want you to keep his happiness in mind. And if he seems unhappy, just ask him and assure him that you're not going to judge him or criticise him.”
Liane nodded. “Right... of course.” Although Alex's words did make her wonder... Roderich wasn't in love with her, was he? They'd only been dating for a little over a month... She certainly wasn't in love with him, although she supposed that she could see herself feeling that way about him some day.
“Look, Rotz has always been a wonderful friend to me. He's been my wingman at gay clubs, for god's sake.”
“...Really?”
Alex nodded. “I mean, he's been my wingman at straight clubs, too, but he gets hit on a lot more in gay clubs, even though he's never there to pick anyone up, or anything.”
She was still trying to picture her boyfriend in a gay club... but the image was too bizarre.
“He's put up with my bullshit for years – and trust me; there's a lot of it. I am not exactly an easy person to put up with, long-term. I mean, I'm fun to hang out with, and pretty funny – at least I think so – but I'm also pretty reckless and irresponsible. I mean, as long as animals aren't concerned. I'm very good with animals, and I'd never be reckless or irresponsible when an animal is involved.”
“That's good to know, considering you're a vet student.”
“...You don't care that I'm bisexual, though?”
Liane furrowed her brows. “Why would I care about that?”
“Well, I'm your boyfriend's best friend...”
“Look, what you do in the bedroom is your business, as long as it's between two consenting adults.”
“And I'd never do anything with Rotz. Ever. Not that he'd ever cheat, anyway. He's much too nice to ever want anyone to feel the way he felt then. Not that he'd have cheated before he was cheated on, because he wouldn't, but he especially wouldn't now.”
Liane bit her lip. “Well... it's good to know that you won't make a move on my boyfriend... and that you're convinced he won't cheat on me regardless.”
“He would never. Honestly, he doesn't even flirt with other people when he's in a relationship. Not that he's a very flirty person anyway, but y'know. He's very loyal.” Alex cleared his throat. “Listen, I mostly want you to know that... Roderich really cares about you, and when he really cares about people, he'll do just about anything if he thinks it'll make them happy. I mean, there are some lines he won't cross, and he won't go out on a limb and do something that makes him unhappy because he thinks you'd like it... but he would do something you suggest that would make him unhappy, if that makes sense?”
“Kind of?” Liane said.
“Okay, like, for example. Roderich wouldn't, like cut off all his hair and take out his piercings and wear suits and shit or whatever on his own accord if he just thought it'd make you happy... but if you suggested that... he might drag his feet a little, but it'd be very easy to convince him, and that's what happened a lot in his last relationship, and it made him miserable, and I just want to make sure that you won't do that to him.”
“Um, look, I don't mind the way Roderich dresses, or anything...” Liane said, suddenly all too aware of her pretty little a-line dress and heels, and of what a contrast they provided to the way her boyfriend dressed.
“But it's not just that. Like, don't... pressure him into sex, for example, or try to make him spend all of his time with you...”
“Well, I'd never do any of that. Consent for sex should always be given freely without any kind of pressure involved, and couples need time apart to flourish.”
“Good.” Alex finished cleaning another cage and turned to Liane. “Look, I love him. He's my best friend... and his last relationship was such a clusterfuck... I just want to make sure that doesn't happen again.”
“I completely understand.” Although hearing about what a disaster his last relationship had been made Liane a little anxious about their relationship.
“Oh, and this is just a bit of a forewarning for you: when Rotz gets drunk, he gets pessimistic and overly honest. Like, he starts blurting out his own deepest darkest secrets, and everything. Which, uh, is something that was used against him in his last relationship.”
“I'll be sure to promptly forget anything he tells me while drunk,” Liane assured Alex.
“Look, uh, don't take this the wrong way, but... why do you like him? I mean, you're all... pretty and proper and, well, posh. Rotz is a really great guy, but... he's working class.”
Liane frowned. “I try not to judge people based on their social class,” she said. “But... guys in my own social class tend to be... the exact opposite of what I'm looking for.”
“How so?”
“I mean, I know there are some who aren't like this, but a lot of them... well, besides supporting conservative politicians, which I can't agree with, they tend to think that the woman they marry should be a housewife and mother... and I don't want to be either of those things. I mean, god, even my baby brother, who's just about the sweetest person on the planet, wouldn't marry someone who didn't want two-point-five kids and a house with a yard.”
“You don't want kids?” Alex asked.
Liane shook her head. “I don't have anything against children – I rather like them, in fact. But I'd much rather be an auntie than a mother.”
“I mean... you're studying to be a doctor, so I guess it's not that surprising.”
“But, um, to answer your question... like you said: Rotz is a really great guy. He's kind, and thoughtful, and genuine, and smart... how could I not like him? Some of my friends don't get it, either.”
“It's not that I don't get it. You're not a superficial asshole, and Rotz is very devoted in any relationship. It's obvious that you really like him, and I mean... all I ask is that you're honest with him, and treat him with respect, and don't cheat on him. He's my best friend,” Alex added. “He was like a brother to me for years before I even had a brother.”
Liane nodded. “You don't have to worry about that,” she assured him. “Although... it is very nice that you're so concerned for him. I'm glad he has good friends who actually care about him.”
“Unfortunately, that didn't stop his last relationship from being so shitty.” Alex was careful to avoid any mention of gender on the part of Rotz's ex – to his knowledge, Roderich hadn't yet come out to Liane, and Alex didn't want to accidentally out him, although Alex made a note to assure him that she at least seemed very accepting and open.
He caught sight of Liane's expression, and cleared his throat. “He's a great guy... and if you treat him well, I'm sure the two of you will be very happy together.”
“Thank you...” Liane said, unsure of what else she possibly could say.
Vijalchen began barking at six in the morning. Roderich groaned and tried to bury his head under his pillow, but to no avail. He could still hear her. Maybe he should have gotten a cat. But wasn't Vijalchen's specific mix supposed to be quiet? Why did he have to get the noisy one? When it became evident that his dog would not shut up, he delicately extracted himself from his wife's arms, put some boxers on, and opened the bedroom door.
“What do you want?” he asked her in a harsh whisper.
She trotted over to him and barked in his face.
“Shh!”
And that's when he heard the buzzer go off.
Fucking Alex.
-
“She said today.”
“She meant at a normal fucking hour, Alex!”
“Well, it's not like you went to bed too late. You both have work today.”
“What the fuck is so important that you had to wake me up so fucking early?”
Alex buried his head in his hands. “I fucked up.”
“Something a little less general than that, Alex.”
“Well, uh, remember that time, right after you got your vasectomy, with, uh, Liane?”
“What time?”
“You said the condom broke, and you were so happy that you'd gotten the vasectomy a couple weeks before.”
“Uh... I guess?” He didn't remember that at all, really... or at least he didn't remember telling Alex about it.
“Well, guess who hasn't gotten a vasectomy?”
“You're not making any sense.”
“Don't make me say it.”
“I have no idea what you're even trying to say, dude.”
“I was having sex with a girl and the condom broke. About. A month ago.”
“...Oh.”
“She called me yesterday. She's pregnant. I told her I'd pay for an abortion if that were the issue but she said she didn't want one.”
“Oh.”
“What do I do?”
“Are you even sure it's yours?”
“She swears it can't be anyone else's. Says I'm the only person she's had sex with since February, and the doctor swears it's just been a month.”
Well. Roderich wasn't sure what he could even say to that.
Alex slammed his head against the table. “I used a condom,” he said. “This shouldn't have happened. Ugh. Maybe I should just stick with men.”
“Condoms can still break with guys, dude, and I mean. You're not gonna get anyone pregnant that way, but you could get a disease or something.”
Alex groaned. “Stop being sensible.”
“Sorry.”
“Do you have any booze?”
Roderich rolled his eyes. “Well, it's six in the morning here, so that means people are still drinking in America. Probably.”
“Thank you.”
-
Liane shuffled out into the kitchen to find Alex complaining to her husband. “Why do you only have girl drinks?”
“Alex, why are you drunk at seven-thirty in the morning?”
“I knocked a girl up. But the better question is why do you only have girl drinks?”
“Wait, what?”
“You only have wine, gin, and vodka. Those are girl drinks. There's no whisky or beer.”
“No, you got a girl pregnant?”
“Her fiancé died in February and she used me as rebound and then the condom broke and she called me yesterday. Said I could be as active as I wanted, but only if I was going to give a shit.”
Liane shot her husband a look, and Alex caught it.
“I know, I know, you're both thrilled that Rotz got a vasectomy. But I didn't.” He buried his face in his hands. “I mean, I always thought maybe eventually? If I fell in love with a girl and she wanted a family? But this isn't fair; I'm not even thirty.”
“Well, she did say you didn't have to...”
“I'm not going to wilfully ignore my child, even if I didn't want it to begin with. I mean, Jesus Christ, look at what happened to your fucking brother, Rotz.”
“I don't think not having his father in his life is what made Markus so awful, Alex.”
“But it's why he hates you! Because your dad stayed and his didn't.”
“It's a little more complex than that.”
“What if Sabrina meets some other guy and decides to have another kid with him? Then my kid could end up like Markus, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.”
“Alex...”
“Do you not remember how Markus treated you when we were kids? Because I do. I can't... ignore it. And what if it's a girl? You know, the whole idea of a girl with daddy issues didn't come from nowhere!”
Liane sighed and sat down across from him. “What you need to do is evaluate what kind of father you'd be. Of course... you can't know for sure until the time comes, but... if you're pretty sure you'll be an awful father, it might be better to let... Sabrina? raise it on her own.”
“I don't hate kids,” he said. “I'm not Rotz. Besides, my siblings all love me, and the twins are eleven years younger than I am – I changed their diapers and everything.”
“If you think you'll be a good father... I know this is a shock,” Liane said, “to put it lightly, but... if you don't want it to, this doesn't have to change your life that drastically.”
“Maybe,” Alex said. “But it wouldn't be fair to her, besides, if I didn't help.”
“Well... that's true,” Liane admitted.
“It's not like she wants me to be in a relationship with her, or anything.”
this is, at this point, just one post, and it’s kind of long, but there really wasn’t a good place to cut it and keep it reasonable.
it’s important to note that even though liane and roderich do end up getting married in the grand scheme of things, this is still liane’s first relationship.
set in early september 2009; roderich and liane have been together for almost (but not quite) a year, and have been living together for about two months (after the events here).
----
Liane woke when Roderich got up from the bed. She yawned and looked at the clock. It read 07:36.
“Oh, I was just going to walk Vijalchen and then go to the Albertina to work on my thesis,” Roderich said when he noticed she was up.
“I have to go into the clinic at ten, anyway,” she said. “There's no point in going back to sleep now.”
“Sorry,” Roderich said. He leaned across the bed and kissed her cheek.
“'S fine,” she assured him.
“I'll be back after our walk to shower, anyway,” he said.
She stretched, and then kissed him. “I'll shower now, then.”
“Okay,” Roderich said. He straightened back up, but didn't take his eyes off of her as she got up out of bed. “You are beautiful.”
Liane rolled her eyes, but wondered why she didn't feel that familiar giddiness that had always been there when Roderich looked at her like he was now. Instead... there was something else. And she wasn't sure if she liked it. “Aren't you supposed to walk your dog?”
“I am,” he said, heading toward their bedroom door. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
At least. She thought she did.
--
She'd allowed herself to get too worked up over emotions she didn't quite understand more than once before, and she didn't want that to happen this time. So after class today... she'd go to see the one person who, really, had the most successful adult relationship she'd seen since her parents.
Even if her godparents did bicker constantly.
--
Amalia requested Liane meet her at a café overlooking the Spree. It was some quaint Italian place, and, according to her godmother, it was quite good.
“It's not far from the Humboldt, and it's relaxing to sit here and drink a coffee. Klaus is trying to start an animal shelter,” Amalia added at Liane's questioning look. “He's bought the house across the courtyard from ours, and is planning on repurposing it as a no-kill cat shelter. In his words, 'at least studying law was good for something'.” She rolled her eyes. “But... he did give up a career for me, and Liesa, twice, and he's been a wonderful husband... and I'd be an awful animal rights activist if I were to impede upon the development of a no-kill shelter here.”
“But I can see how it could get... annoying.”
“And it does. To be honest... I'm surprised he hasn't tried to hoard cats in our house, especially now that Liesa's moving out.”
“Well... she is just moving to Zehlendorf,” Liane said.
“Yes, she's a whole... ten minutes away? Maybe fifteen if she has to wait for the S-Bahn, but, really, it's a quick bike ride.” She rolled her eyes again. “Anyway... you sounded a bit anxious over the phone. Is everything okay with you?”
“Um, I think so,” she said.
“Liane, sweetheart, if you think you might be pregnant –”
“I'm not,” Liane said. “I'm on the pill, and we use condoms, and once Rotz graduates, he's going to get a vasectomy, since neither of us ever want children.”
“Mm, I wish Klaus had done that after Liesa. It would have saved me two invasive procedures, and one abortion... but that's beside the point. What was so urgent?”
“It's probably nothing,” Liane said, taking a sip of her tea. “It's usually nothing... only... the last time I had a similar nagging feeling... it ended up really being something, and... I don't want to mess this up.”
“Mess what up?”
“Um, Aunt Amalia... how did you know you were in love with Uncle Klaus?”
“Well... for the first time ever, I hated his girlfriend, which should have been a dead giveaway that something wasn't normal. I mean... Klaus may have always been a scrawny nerd, but he always had good taste in girlfriends. Even if they didn't like me, I never disliked them. I was pregnant, and miserable, so... understand this is... extremely unconventional, but... I demanded my ex-boyfriend Daniel take me out for Valentine's Day once I discovered Klaus had a date, and then I had sex with him – Daniel, not Klaus – and... realised the next morning that... what I felt in bed with Klaus was... not just because he was good in bed.” She took a sip of her coffee. “As I've said: extremely unconventional. And then I went to my sister Lilli for advice, and she just laughed and told me that she always knew Klaus and I were perfect for each other – which is bullshit, because when I first had the idea to sleep with Klaus in Gymnasium she told me it was the single worst idea I'd ever had.”
“I... I see...” Well, she hadn't known how her godparents had gotten together in such... detail before. She'd been alive when it'd happened, of course, but her understanding had been that they'd been best friends who decided they wanted a baby (and, later, she surmised that it had in fact been a drunken one-night-stand) who... fell in love when Amalia was pregnant. This... was a bit different.
“Admittedly, Klaus and I were already so close, and having sex regularly enough as friends, that I... really, I missed the entire puppy-love phase. The only honeymoon phase we've ever had was during our actual honeymoon, and shortly afterward.”
“...So, basically the polar opposite of Christian and Liesa?”
“You know, I expected them to act like a normal couple within a few months of living together... so we'll see if that ever happens. Although... nothing against Christian, of course, because he is an incredibly sweet boy, but... I really do hope those two don't marry.”
“Why do you say that? I mean... I agree, but... why do you feel that way?”
“I've never met anyone who's married their high school sweetheart and actually had a happy ending of it. I don't want that for my daughter. I also, honestly don't think that they'd make a good married couple. He'd give up his dreams in a heartbeat for her, and... that's... not really healthy. Of course... that might just be how Christian would be in any romantic relationship, but... they really do spend too much time together.”
“They do,” Liane said. “But honestly... I'm... worried that if they break up now, Christian may never recover.”
“Oh, he'll recover,” Amalia assured him. “He'll meet someone more suited to him and be fine, and Liesa will marry someone who isn't a human puppy.”
“You sound convinced.”
“Well, either that or Christian grows out of acting like a human puppy, which I doubt. And, again, I've never met anyone who's married their high school sweetheart and ended up happy with that decision.” She took another sip of her coffee. “But enough of that. Why did you really want to talk to me?”
Liane looked down at the table. “Um. Well, it's just... how does Uncle Klaus make you feel?”
“How do you mean?”
“Like, when you wake up next to him in the morning, what do you think?”
“'Thank god there isn't a cat on my face'?” She rolled her eyes. “That he needs to brush his teeth? Liane, I don't know what you want me to say. Maybe if you told me what was bothering you.”
“...Ever since Rotz and I moved in together, I've started to feel... different. Like... there are little things he does that I never noticed before that annoy me to no end, and when he checks me out I don't feel all... giddy and flustered like I used to... when we meet up for lunch, or dinner, or whatever, I don't get butterflies or any of that. I just... is something wrong with me?”
“As I've said, Klaus and I never had much of a honeymoon phase, and certainly not when we first got together... Liane, everything you're describing just sounds perfectly normal to me. I really can't remember ever feeling flustered when Klaus checked me out, and the only time I had butterflies was on our wedding day.”
“Oh. So it's... not bad?”
“It sounds to me like you're just getting used to each other, and that doesn't mean you don't love each other anymore. But... Klaus and I pretty much did everything in reverse of the norm. If you'd like to speak to someone else about it for a second opinion, I have someone who might fit the bill.”
“Really? Because the only other successful relationship I can think of is Rotz's parents, and, y'know, if something is wrong, that's the last thing they want to hear, right?”
“Right. You remember Britta and Anna, don't you?”
“I... think so. They were lesbians, weren't they? One of them worked with Uncle Klaus back when he was still a lawyer, and the other was Liesa's kindergarten teacher?”
“Close. Britta's bisexual, too, actually. Anna's a lesbian. And they've been together longer than Klaus and I. We still keep in touch, and they're as in love as they've ever been.”
“Okay. Um. Then I could talk to them, I guess, if you think it'd help.”
“I don't think it'd hurt,” Amalia said. “Although... you know, Klaus is the only man I'd ever loved – which is part of the reason why it was so difficult for me to realise that I loved him in the first place. So... when I met your mother, I had no idea what being in love felt like, and... when I asked her after a few months of living in Berlin if she ever felt homesick, she said no, because... whenever she saw your father, she felt like she was home.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. I'd have never admitted this where Werner could have found out, but... before I fell in love myself, I was envious of their relationship. They had their arguments like any other couple, and Werner was completely hopeless with domestic tasks – he'd either burn or undercook whatever he tried to cook, and he couldn't do laundry...”
“But they met while he was studying abroad in Paris.”
Amalia rolled her eyes. “According to Klaus, Werner had everything sent out to a service. Klaus went to visit him for a week and asked where he could do laundry. He ended up finding a laundromat, but was... really surprised that Werner had no clue how to do laundry.” She smiled wickedly. “When your mother went back to work after she had you, your father managed to trash the kitchen and destroy the washing machine all in a few hours.”
“Wow,” Liane said, unable to find better words to describe how absurd the idea was.
“No relationship is going to fit the ideal you have in your head; they're about communication and compromise. I can guarantee you that if you haven't already, you and Roderich are going to have arguments – and some of them are going to be bad... but if you two communicate and are willing to compromise when you need to, you'll be fine.”
“I do, but if you're still unsure, I'm sure Britta or Anna wouldn't mind meeting us.”
--------
for side info:
amalia and her husband klaus live in steglitz, nearish to the s/u-bahn station rathaus steglitz; it’s about 10 minutes to zehlendorf, where liesa moved. all of these places are in (western) berlin
amalia is a professor of history (focusing on women’s history) at the humboldt university in berlin
klaus was, at one point, a lawyer; he gave up his job first when liesa was born, and then he worked for a while in munich from 2004-8, but then he decided to not go back to his old firm in berlin, so he’s technically unemployed. (he always had more of a passion for law in theory than in practise, and, really, should have studied history)
i actually wrote the incident where liane’s father destroyed the washing machine and trashed the kitchen in a matter of hours; you can find that on my old blog here
“Aunt Amalia; Uncle Klaus! It's wonderful that you two could come down!” Liane said as Christian handed Hannelore off to her. “And of course it's wonderful to see you, too, Hanne,” she said to the baby. “Although your papa has not stopped sending me videos of you, so I know just how you've been doing.”
Christian beamed. “She is, isn't she? She gets it mostly from Liesa, you know, but she has my colouring.”
“And your curls; Liesa's hair isn't so curly.”
“Yeah, that's true!” Christian said. “You know, it's been over a year and I'm still amazed that Liesa and I were able to make something so perfect.” He reached for Hannelore, and Liane handed her off.
“I'm just glad that you and Liesa are handling parenthood so well.”
“Me, too; I was terrified, you know; and none of our friends have kids yet, so like, we were really lucky that Frau Sachs and Herr von Brandt live just in Steglitz. so it's really only twenty minutes, including the walking.”
A glance at Amalia Sachs confirmed Liane's suspicion that perhaps her brother abused this closeness. “That's great,” she said, instead, thankful that she lived well over an hour away from her brother and his new family. Of course she loved him – and Hanne was absolutely precious – but he already called her enough with questions about Hanne's health... she didn't need him stopping by every single day of the week, too.
“Christian, I've told you time and time again to call me Amalia.”
“I-I know, but it feels disrespectful.”
Amalia rolled her eyes. “You're married to my daughter, and you're the father of my granddaughter.”
“I know,” he said. “I'm sorry.”
Amalia huffed, but knew better by now than to say something. Instead, she went into the living room. Christian looked to Klaus. “Sorry,” he said.
Klaus shrugged. “I think you calling her Frau Sachs makes her feel old – besides... your mother was one of her best friends.”
“I know, I know...”
“Here, why don't I hold Hanne, and then you can go get a drink, or something?”
Christian thought on it for a second. “Okay.” He carefully handed Hanne off to Klaus.
“Opa!” the baby exclaimed.
“Hello, princess,” he said.
The buzzer rang, and Liane went to answer it. “Hello?”
“Happy birthday! It's Frau and Herr Vogel!”
“Come up!” she said as she hit the button to let them in. She supposed it might not be normal to invite her husband's parents to her birthday, but then most people seemed to have trouble with their in-laws – Liane didn't. Quite the opposite; in fact. Frau and Herr Vogel simply adored her.
--
Roderich was lucky; with everyone in the apartment, he was not expected to hold either of the babies whose parents had been invited to the party. He suspected that perhaps Liesa's parents had had something to do with subduing Christian, and Marlene had known almost as long as Liane that Roderich wasn't fond of kids (and she still wasn't all that fond of Roderich, either, although her opinion of him had improved since 2008), so he was allowed to relax with his dog and his wife and his friends. Well. As much as he could relax with two infants in close proximity.
Alex was, perhaps not all that surprisingly, more than willing to listen to Christian's babbling about Hannelore, which made Roderich uncomfortable. Alex had always been... avoidant of commitment, but what if he did find someone and have kids? Liane's best friend having a baby was bad enough, and he already knew that Monika was fond of the idea of adoption...
But fortunately he didn't have long to dwell on that, with everything going on.
Liane was putting on makeup, and spotted him in her mirror. “From the look on your face, I take it my brother is here.”
He smoothed out the duvet a bit and sat down on the edge of the bed. “First thing he did was try to hand the baby to me.”
Liane rolled her eyes. “I'll have a word with him.”
“I don't like kids, Li. I like dogs. Like, if your brother had gotten a brand new german shepherd a year ago, I'd be thrilled to play with it, but a baby is different.”
She smiled. “Well, at least I've never wanted any children of my own, hm?”
“Honestly, I wouldn't have married you if you had. I mean, I love you more than anything, but...”
“But rather heartbreak three months into our relationship than anxiety and constant fighting after we got married. I understand. For what it's worth, if you'd been set on having kids of your own, I'd have never married you, either.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“So like, if I'd been set on having kids, even if I'd have agreed to be a stay-at-home dad or whatever, you'd never have married me?”
“Never. I want to come home from work and relax, not deal with a screaming child. I'm sure parenthood is very rewarding, but I'd much rather live my life without becoming a mother.” She put on her lipstick and turned to him. “By the way, be sure to make a note to pick up some condoms tomorrow. It was great, but I'm not entirely sure it was worth the mess... and definitely not if we want to have morning sex on a weekday.”
“Got it.” He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she replied.
“Can we just stay in here all day?”
Liane laughed. “As much as I'd love that... maybe for your birthday, hm? I won't invite Christian and Liesa down, at any rate.”
“I knew I married you for a reason.” He sat back down on the bed, making no move to leave the bedroom.
“He's my brother, not yours.”
“...Don't invite Markus. He'll just bitch about how our marriage is a sham because there's no way I could possibly be attracted to both men and women.”
“Why would I invite him? God, inviting him to our wedding was a mistake; I'm not going to make the same one over again.”
“See, and some wives would insist that I reconnect with him.”
“But I've met him.”
Roderich grinned. “Still, I'm sure some wives would insist Markus is really sweet under all his biphobia and jealousy. I mean... it's not my fault his father left him but mine stayed with me, and he's plenty old enough to have realised that, but no.”
“Come to think of it, his fit at our wedding might have been because you were marrying a beautiful, successful woman.”
“And rich, too,” Roderich said. “Which would be Markus's fixation, I'm sure.”
“I dunno... he is very... anticapitalist. That's probably part of why he dislikes me so much.”
“Mm, that's fair, but it's hardly as if you hoard all your money to yourself. I've been to enough of those galas to know better than that.”
“Well, it's just... what am I supposed to do with millions of euros? I'm already working as a doctor – my finances don't need any supplementing. Besides, it's awful that I have all this money without having had to lift a finger for it, and some people work their entire lives and are never able to break through into the middle class.”
“God, I love you.”
Liane grinned. “Good, because I've grown pretty fond of you, and I think it's safe to say that I'd be pretty heartbroken if my husband weren't in love with me.”
“You don't have to worry about that,” Roderich assured her. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“You two better not be having sex again! Liane; your godparents are here, and Rotz, your parents are on their way! There will be plenty of time to have sex after everyone's gone.”
Liane rolled her eyes. “Tell him I'm almost ready.”
Roderich walked over and kissed her cheek. “Of course.”
“Thank you.” He knew she didn't just mean telling Alex that she was almost ready – of course she didn't. He smiled.
“Tschipchen, I know my life wouldn't be anywhere near as wonderful without you. It's the least I can do. Really.”
“Rotz.”
“Li, seriously. I've told you from the start that I'm totally monogamous, and to get to be with someone so wonderful and brilliant and compassionate... I mean, god, if quitting smoking and dealing with your annoying brother is the price I have to pay to be with you, I'm happy to do it. Honestly.”
