Henry

multiple fandoms | currently obsessed with Dead Boy Detectives and Young Royals

[sasakisniko]

Dead Boy Detectives 105 | 108

[keikomivra]

#old married couple

[mellxncollie]

Happy Pride Month! Dead Boy Detectives (2024) — Season 01

[ngatwa]

Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery. And loneliness. And it just made it kind. — Doctor Who: The Beast Below

Inspired by @aletterinthenameofsanity's comment

[isabellaofparma]

characters created in a lab for tumblr specifically (affectionate)

[fan-a-tink]

Animation Sequence 1: Tragic Mick's Tale

Dead Boy Detectives | 1.06 "The Case of the Creeping Forest"

[be-happier]

Omar's Düsseldorf stage: earlier part of Bye Bye

The initial part of his surprise gasp and he was even too stunned to sing 🤭

[schelluminium]

I recently started a vampire Wilmon fic. Here is chapter 2, happy Halloween!

[schelluminium]

I saw this music ask on Twitter where people are supposed to send you a number and you answer the corresponding question but I kind of feared it would flop, with no one sending a number, and I also got fascinated with some of these asks so I decided to answer them all.

I think it's a pretty cool thing because I struggle to introduce myself to others and show what makes me me but things I'm passionate about help a lot with revealing parts of myself.

Music Ask Game

1. A song you like with a color in the title

Blue Eyes by Cary Brothers

I think I discovered this song through the movie "Garden State" and I was today years old when I learned that it isn't a band but a solo artist whose surname is "Brothers".

2. A song you like with a number in the title

1914 by Florist

3. A song that reminds you of summertime

T-shirt Weather by Circa Waves

4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Jasmine (2016 Version) by The Magic Gang

This is just one of a few songs that remind me of this one guy (I had a massive crush on, who was my first kiss and then turned me down) because we were pen pals who bonded over music and used to make small playlists for each other, so I have a bunch of songs I discovered because of him. I guess a part of me doesn't really want to forget about him but the fallout really fucking hurt.

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD

I Still Believe by Frank Turner

This song means so damn much to me. I get the chills every time I listen to it. The lines "I still believe in the need for guitars and drums and desperate poetry" and "remember folks, we're not just saving lives, we're saving souls" live in my mind rent free.

6. A song that makes you want to dance

Dancing In The Moonlight by Toploader

I believe I discovered this one through the Swedish movie "Eva & Adam - fyra födelsedagar och ett fiasko" I loved as a kid. After that, Toploader was one of the first bands I got interested in.

7. A song to drive to

Communion Girls by Malojian

I usually listen to anything I feel in the mood for while in a car or on a train, so I went with a song I have a vivid memory of hearing on a car drive while it was raining.

8. A song about drugs or alcohol

The Next Round by Frank Turner

As an alcoholic I have listened and cried to this song a whole lot. I think it conveys what it feels like to fall into addiction really well and in a beautiful but heartbreaking way. I recommend listening to it if you want to get a bit of an understanding of addicts.

(On a side note: it bothers me that this question distinguishes between drugs and alcohol (as does most of the world) even though alcohol is a fucking drug. You can simply say "drugs" and that way "alcohol" is in there. It bugs me as an alcoholic cause it always seems like an attempt at playing alcohol and its harms down. So many people put themselves onto pedestals for "not taking drugs", meanwhile they drink alcohol. It's simply hypocritical.)

9. A song that makes you happy

How Beautiful Life Can Be by The Lathums

It's a song that's also making me think but mostly it just reminds me of the little things in life that I enjoy, tiny stuff like seeing a snail on a walk (I love snails), drinking chocolate milk or getting inspiration for a new story.

10. A song that makes you sad

I couldn't possibly choose just one. As someone with several mental health problems I've had my fair share of emo playlists and the top sad songs for me are probably:

My Body Is A Cage by Arcade Fire

I listened to this so much like 10 years ago. It was when my depression was really fucking bad and I felt so seen by these lyrics. The part starting at 02:11 always wrecks me.

Black Orchid by Blue October

CAREFUL HERE cause this one talks about suicide/suicidal thoughts! "Maybe life's not for everyone" is probably the most devastating sentence I've ever heard.

Something To Believe by Philip Labes

This one evokes a different kind of sadness. Weltschmerz. It's about how heartbroken and powerless you feel about the state the world is in and it hits home.

11. A song that you never get tired of

There is a lot of songs I'll never get tired of so now is the chance to plug two of my favourite bands, who I discovered during my teenage years and who helped me through them a lot:

Don't Look Back In Anger by Oasis

My most well-loved hoodie is one I bought off Etsy or Red Bubble or something and says "please don't put your life in the hands of a rock'n'roll band".

Live Forever by Oasis

I was so obsessed with this band. My room was full of posters and printed out pictures and the first concert I went to was of Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds.

Music When The Lights Go Out by The Libertines

When the Libertines obsession started, my posters and printed out pictures slowly changed. I got my dad to buy me one of their signature red jackets that I still display in my flat on a mannequin and the first tattoo I got was the word "libertine" on my upper arm.

I Get Along by The Libertines

It was Oasis and The Libertines that made me get fluent in English because I watched all the interviews and clips they were in religiously. These two bands were the biggest part of my youth. In general my music taste back then consisted to 90% of british bands. I wanted to live in the UK so bad. With the brexit and the general state it's in now though... nah.

12. A song from your preteen years

There is a bunch of stuff I could list here but since I didn't really care about music during that time, it has to be the band my sister used to listen to during her teenage years and that I later fell in love with too. At that time I was greatly annoyed by her playing her music all the time because we were sharing a room but now I'm glad this is how I discovered Fotos. Me and my sister went to a concert together a few years ago. I can't choose just one song though so you'll get two again:

Giganten by Fotos

Nach dem Goldrausch by Fotos

My favourite part is 02:40

To this day this is one of the only German artists I listen to.

13. One of your favorite 80's songs

Before my Oasis obsession, which really got me devoted to music, I had a brief Journey phase because of watching Scrubs. Those were the first CDs I bought/got for my birthday or Christmas. I could list a bunch of songs again but I'll never get done with this list if I do. Also some of my favourites are from the 70s, not the 80s, so they wouldn't count anyway.

Suzanne by Journey

...this song is about a stalker, right? At least I always understood it that way. I never checked though and it's a banger either way haha

14. A song that you would love played at your wedding

I don't think I'll ever get married but if I have to name a romantic song, the first that comes to mind is:

Doesn't Matter by Ellen Krauss

I watched a few episodes of that season of Så mycket bättre because of Omar Rudberg but this one blew me away instantly.

15. A song that is a cover by another artist

Cut Your Bangs by Girlpool

The original is by Radiator Hospital but I like this slower version with the two female voices harmonising a lot.

16. One of your favorite classical songs

I love Modest Mussorgski's orchestrated version of Pictures At An Exhibition a lot. Is this what "classical" means here? Is instrumental okay? Anyway, I'll go with Promenade

17. A song you would sing as a duet with someone on karaoke

Christmas TV by Slow Club

18. A song from the year you were born

You Get What You Give by New Radicals

19. A song that makes you think about life

Again, there is a bunch. I have a playlist for such songs called "Pensive Parkinson" (...as a word play on Pansy Parkinson from Harry Potter... don't ask me why, it doesn't make any sense, I just thought it was funny). But I think the one that fits best here is:

A TV Show called Earth by Philip Labes

20. A song that has many meanings to you

I thought about this for a while but I couldn't find a song. Usually I get pretty strong feelings/thoughts/vibes from a song that are quite clear, no matter if it's the actual meaning of the song or not. So I don't have anything for this.

21. A song with a person's name in the title

Katie Queen Of Tennessee by The Apache Relay

22. A song that moves you forward

Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fist by Ramshackle Glory

23. A song you think everybody should listen to

I already shared two songs by Philip Labes but I have to mention him again because he makes such amazing and important songs. Most of them are political and I can only recommend you give them all a listen:

Jeff Found A Genie by Philip Labes

This is probably my favourite song by him. It's full of very well thought through metaphors and mental images and tells a story that is easy to interpret but also genius in its facettes. If you don't want to click on any of the other links, this is the one I'd want you to give a try!

It's The Guns by Philip Labes

"You're trying to untangle things by adding extra string" is such a phenomenal line.

Don't Politicise This by Philip Labes

24. A song by a band you wish were still together

Swings And Waterslides by Viola Beach

It's not a band that broke up, it's way more tragic than that. The whole band, including their manager, died in a car accident. They were still so young and had so much potential but only ever got to release one album.

25. A song by an artist no longer living

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston

26. A song that makes you want to fall in love

Wrong by Omar Rudberg

27. A song that breaks your heart

The songs from number 10 kind of fit here too and since I am already naming way more songs than intended, I'll let them apply to this number too.

28. A song by an artist with a voice you love

Barfuß Am Klavier by AnnenMayKantereit

A few nights ago I watched a bunch of videos of people reacting to hearing Henning May's voice for the first time and that was really funny because they all stopped in their tracks, shocked and amazed.

It would have fit in number 15 but this cover of Tom's Diner by Giant Rooks and AnnenMayKantereit apparently went viral on Tiktok a few years ago and that's what many people reacted to.

On a side note: I love Giant Rooks and saw both bands live at a festival once.

29. A song that you remember from your childhood

Ohrwurm by Wise Guys

They are an acapella band and my parents always put their CDs on on long car rides. My whole family went to their concerts too. It was quite fun.

30. A song that reminds you of yourself

My Own Person by Ezra Williams

It's kind of an identity crisis song and I relate to that on so many different levels, regarding so many different parts and crises of mine. I still don't really know who I am, I think. I once wrote a line that describes it a bit:

"I haven't grown into my life. In parts I have grown out of it."

Okay so that was it. This was fun!

[schelluminium]

I just cried in the bathtub because once again it hit me how many regrets and how much hurt I am carrying with me about my past.

I'm now 27 and while I know that I'm technically still young, I can't help but mourn a youth I would have loved to have with all the experiences that come with it and that I didn't have for many reasons. Because I was an undiagnosed autistic kid. Because I developed depression during puberty. Because after school I fell into addiction. Because I always felt different and weird and like I didn't belong, always felt alienated from my peers and their experiences and feelings and only last year realised that I'm a trans man.

I know there is nothing I can change about that now. I know that I can only look ahead and try to live my life the way I want and need to from now on. But this hurt will still stay with me. Seeing others share pictures from their teenage years hurts because while I would like to share a bit of myself too, I don't want anyone to see me the way I looked back then. Hearing others share their teenage experiences hurts because I never experienced the joys of first love, never had someone love me back and desire me for who I am. I hooked up with guys who thought they were fucking a woman. I went to parties but left early because I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone or dancing freely. I didn't have a lot of fun in general.

Now that I'm closer to understanding who I really am, I feel robbed. Robbed of all these things I feel I would have deserved and I'm grieving.

At 27 I feel like my life has been on pause for over a decade. And now it's up to me to press that button to unpause it and that's scary because I feel like I'm doing it completely on my own. I'm an adult, I'm supposed to solve my problems and take responsibility for the direction my life is going. And it feels unfair because I feel like everyone around me got a headstart. I feel so horribly unprepared for anything that's to come. I feel alone and frightened.

I don't know how to grow into myself. How to gain confidence. How to unapologetically love myself and ignore anyone's expectations. I'm getting closer and closer to 30, I'm unemployed and don't know what I want to do with my life. The only thing I know is that I want to be happy, that I want to stop that constant suffering. But I don't know how.

Being mentally ill sucks. Being neurodivergent sucks and so does being trans. Not all the time, but often enough. Not feeling seen and heard and understood sucks so much as well. But even more so does feeling helpless about my future, regretting my past and feeling lost in the present.

I'm sick of feeling like a failure. I'm sick of being afraid of my own dreams and aspirations. I'm sick of feeling wrong in my own skin and not feeling like myself when I look into the mirror. I'm sick of waiting for things I have no control over and terrified of the few things I could control if only I found the courage to try.

I just want to get better. I just want to feel like I belong. I just want to feel happy. I want to settle into myself and shape my life the way it fits me best. And I don't want to always feel so damn lonely.

[schelluminium]

I don't think I'm going to go through all of YR after I did the analysis of S1E1 but I will talk about certain scenes every now and then.

And right now I really feel like talking about Ayub and Rosh and the few problems I have with them. Over all I think they are great friends and I'm glad Simon has them. But there are just certain moments I have to criticise them for and since not a lot of people seem to think about that, I feel even more like sharing my thoughts.

Let's recap what I wrote about Ayub before and then I'll get to another scene that bothered me, which is about both of them but mostly Rosh.

That's the scene I want to talk about now: right after Simon confronted August about the money he still owes him.

I think Rosh's comment here is really uncalled for and not true at all. To tell your friend, who is from the working class just like you, that he is no better than an elitist, rich asshole, just because he is fed up with being fucked over and doesn't want to take that shit anymore, is insane to me.

I honestly don't care if she has a problem with violence (which I also think is a bit of a stretch because from what it looked like, all Simon did was push August to the ground and hold him there) and I'm not apologizing for saying that because really, what were Simon's options here? What would have been the alternative? To just suck it up and accept that he got scammed and that August is never going to pay him just because he doesn't want to? To cry in his room about it? Simon was sick of turning the other cheek, and rightfully so! And him acting in the way he did actually made August confess to being broke, something I don't think he would ever have done if he hadn't been threatened in some way. So at least Simon got an answer to why he wasn't being paid.

You can be upset about people getting violent if you want but fact is that most revolutions in history have been bloody. The oppressed got violent towards their oppressors and fought for their rights. Violence is never okay if you use it to oppress someone. But I do believe that violence is justified and sometimes maybe even the only solution when trying to break the cycle of oppression.

Simon is being treated unfairly in school, by his teachers (Mr. Englund) and his classmates, he is being looked down upon and used for their benefits (getting them alcohol). And now he is supposed to accept that he was being scammed for money he really needs? And it wasn't even money he needed for something fun. No. He needed to pay back his dad and the school for tutoring which he only did to get the best marks possible because he has the ambitions to be a great student and get far in life one day. None of that is fun, it's out of necessity to get a better life than he has now.

To feel like your friend isn't allowed to snap and demand he gets taken seriously and treated fairly in a forceful way, sounds pretty unfair to me. And I'm not saying that Rosh and Ayub were supposed to like Simon pushing August down and shouting at him. But from their reaction it's pretty clear to me that they didn't really think about or accept Simon's perspective. One would think that they would support him even if he makes mistakes but they drove off and didn't talk to him for a while from what we saw.

Also, saying Simon is just like August for getting violent isn't even accurate because as far as we know, August has never been physically violent towards anyone and you know why? Because he never had to resort to that to get his way. He's always gotten what he wanted in terms of money and status and privileges.

So yeah, Rosh's and Ayub's reactions here made me (and still make me) mad. Acting all high and mighty, acting as if you are worth more because you are above forcefully taking what you are owed if that is about the only thing you can still do. Fuck turning the other cheek. Fuck being the bigger person. Oppressors don't care about that either.

[schelluminium]

S1 E1 Rewatch of

The first thing I'm only noticing now that I'm rewaching the show, is how Wille's talent for holding speeches is being introduced as he has to address the scandal he caused publically. And yes, I really think Wille has a talent for speeches. He is anxious and uncomfortable with having to do them, to stand in front of expectant people and seem like the confident and responsible prince he is expected to be. But despite this, he manages to do it. And as he does it, he refuses to recite the words that the royal court is trying to put in his mouth. He goes off script and talks freely, spontaneously and while he does, he finds just the right words to convey what he needs to. Of course in this scene he is still going along the lines of what the royal court wants from him but as the show progresses, he learns to apply his talent for finding the right words to convey what he himself wants. It's part of Wille's journey to learning to stand up for himself.

The next thing I am only just now realising is the foreshadowing of Wille becoming the Crown Prince. Just before he has to talk to the press about transferring to Hillerska, he and his family are asked to sit down onto the royal sofa. At first, on the left sits Ludvig, then comes Wille, then Erik and then Kristina. This could very well display the succession to the throne. On the right the current Queen, next in line the Crown Prince Erik, then his younger brother Prince Wilhelm, and lastly Duke Ludvig. But then Wille and Erik are asked to switch places. Now Wille sits right next to his mother, the Queen, as the next King himself.

Wille's famous look into the camera... it now seems to me like an "I see you (the audience). I know you are there." He was just talking to the whole nation who is going to see his statement on tv, and we, the viewers, saw him do it. We belong to the people. Wille is a public figure and gets constantly watched and we are watching his every move too.

The way August touches Wille's cheek looks so condescending, oh my god. I remember watching that for the first time and thinking "I fucking hate this guy"... it's such an interesting introduction of August's character considering how his story progressed.

Somewhere I saw someone theorise that this scene is foreshadowing the fight for the crown between Wille and August throughout the show, until in the end Wille gives up his title as Crown Prince and August has to take over.

This moment is so fleeting but so important to me. We see Wille be annoyed and uncomfortable at being paraded around in front of the school staff and then he is told to take a picture with the headmistress. That is when he turns to Erik. His gaze seems to say "Seriously? Do I really have to do this?" and Erik answers with an expectant look like "What's the matter? Just take the picture". It's the first look into their dynamic as brothers and their different view on things, even if it's just such a short moment.

Another great shot. In front we have Wille who is obviously uncomfortable in this situation, at being in the spotlight and having all eyes on him. He is unable to hide that. And in the back we have Erik and August who are smiling and seem relaxed and happy to be here. Another tiny glimpse into how these characters feel about and handle the role they have within the Royal Family.

The meaning of August's words got lost in the German dub. Weirdly enough, the German sub is right.

In the German dub August says: "Solange man sich noch nicht zu 100% sicher ist, sollte man weiter üben", which translates to "As long as you aren't 100% sure, you should keep practising". Which is not as nasty as what August actually said. I was really shocked when I found this out.

I really don't know why Erik laughed at that...

Oh my god, I still remember watching this scene for the first time and being mesmerized by Simon. I'm sure I'm far from the only one but thinking back on it now, I must have fallen in love with him right then and there, just from that beautiful face and the equally beautiful voice alone.

Knew right from that moment that I hated Vincent.

Remember these two? No? Don't worry, no one does... when Simon sings, all eyes are on him and only him. You could show me pictures of Hillerska students and I wouldn't be able to tell which of them were in the choir. Obviously they were just background characters but still. I feel a bit sorry for them not getting even an ounce of a moment to shine, because Simon is the star of the show.

I love how Simon straightened up, squared his shoulders and sang loud and proud after Vincent was being a dick.

This one, on the other hand, still doesn't seem too happy to be here. Maybe he should look for another hobby.

The wonder in Wille's eyes...

…and the transition to a smile. The first genuine, happy smile we see of his character, actually. And it is because of a boy with an amazing voice.

I always wondered about what these two were thinking. I think the guy says "Simon?" in answer to the girl but I can't really tell from his expression whether they are enjoying his singing or making fun of him. What was everyone else's impression?

Also when I first heard this song, that part really stuck with me:

of becoming like the others who become unhappy mothers and the fathers of unhappy kids

I don't know, it might be my own experiences and fears but this line gave me chills. But in the context of the show it's also so important, since family is a huge topic and both Simon and Wille have a difficult family life in different ways. You can apply this line of the song very well to the both of them, which is very interesting.

Of course the whole song, its lyrics and meaning are important and perfectly fitting for the show anyway.

It's just generally an amazing scene with Wille hearing Simon sing these words and hold his head high as he does, sticking out from the masses and that captivates Wille.

This scene was so wholesome and really made me feel as if they were kids again, misbehaving and having fun. Also Farima looks so done with them, it's funny.

[schelluminium]

Part 2:

Once again Vincent is proving to be a dick. Nils too though.

It isn't really the most subtle way to introduce us viewers to the classicism and elitism as one of the main conflicts of the show and the fact that Simon is different from the others because he is less rich and privileged and being ostracized because of that - but it's an effective way. In general, Young Royals feels authentic, genuine and realistic and I'll comment on scenes that enhance this later on.

Again the difference in their body language and facial expressions. While Erik is happy and excited to be here, to be back in the boarding school he went to and had lots of fun in, Wille is looking apprehensive and unhappy with the situation.

The conversation in Wille's room shows and tells us even more.

Wille is truly unhappy and angry about being here. Erik seems to not understand why he is feeling this way. He repeatedly claims that holding up appearances and smiling through uncomfortable situations is "easy". He obviously doesn't struggle with his role as a part of the Royal Family nearly as much as Wille.

These shots are so cool. The difference in their posture and expressions again and then Wille looking up at Erik. Beautiful.

And now let's all cry as the two brothers hug, as Wille clings to Erik and reluctantly watches him go, looking so small and lost. Looking back on it now that I know what will happen later in the show, it's such an intense scene to watch.

I completely missed the keychain and the little star stickers on Simon's locker the first time watching but those are such endearing details and tiny looks into his character. I love it.

I have seen a bunch of reactions to August calling Simon "Sosse" (socialist) and I want to talk about that.

Of course August uses this word to look down on and make fun of Simon, so it is meant as an insult. But that is because August does think poorly of socialists and communists. As someone of the Royal Family himself it makes sense that he wouldn't like the people whose ideas and beliefs threaten his status and privilege.

But a lot of viewers of the show seem to be offended that others call Simon a socialist or communist as if having this political view is wrong, and therefore agreeing with August on that.

August and Vincent calling Simon a socialist or communist doesn't come out of nowhere. It isn't just Simon's upbringing and social status but also his beliefs and what Linda taught him (which gets explored a lot more in S3 but I still wanted to talk about this now). We learn that his political views do align with socialist and communist ideas.

Of course Simon never states it explicitly himself, but I like to think that he is a communist and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

It's so crazy to think that this could have been Wille and Simon if Malte had gotten the role of Simon instead of August and Omar had gotten the role of Wille instead of Simon.

The first we see of Felice vs. the first we see of Sara… The difference in coolness is so clear.

I want someone to look at me the way Sara looks at Rousseau.

"I said no!" - you literally didn't, Felice. You made a passive aggressive and sarcastic remark that some people struggle to understand.

protective brother mode is ON.

It was clear right away that Felice was going through some things but obviously that wasn't an excuse for the way she treated Sara.

I love their sibling relationship so much. It's so cute and wholesome but also complex and I will surely dive into that in later scenes.

They look so nice laughing together. I am weak for a good, wholesome scene about family bonds and friendships.

Touching herself to an image of Wille, looking awkward but like a proper prince in a suit… that still baffles me.

This is so funny to me. Felice's reaction to Maddie saying "I'm not the one watching porn".

Her face looks like "See? No porn. I am a fine lady and only masturbate to pictures of guys with their clothes on".

So disgusting how Felice touched Maddie's hair with the hand that was just in her pants and Maddie letting her... Someone explain this friendship to me.

Cause I'm pretty sure Maddie knew what Felice was just up to, from the porn comment and the fact that Felice zipped her pants back up only after Maddie was already in the room, maybe even looking at her.

I've mentioned how I love that this show feels very genuine and subtle in different ways and Maddie's character is a good example. Upon her entering the room talking in English, every viewer asks themselves why she doesn't speak Swedish but that actually never gets explained in the show. At no point are we told where Maddie is from, if she is an exchange student or what exactly her story is. And I love that.

I mean I love Maddie, I wish she could have gotten more screen time but overall she remained a side character and revealing why she is going to Hillerska as a Non-Swede is frankly unimportant to the plot.

It feels so genuine to me that sometimes you see glimpses of others and wonder about aspects of their lives but never get an answer. That's how life works sometimes.

I love this shot. On the left the Felice the world gets to see but that is "fake" in some ways and on the right the Felice that is underneath.

[schelluminium]

Part 3:

This is the first time I noticed that Wille commented a heart-eyes emoji under Felice's post. I never really looked at the names. It's kind of cute.

Sara has been at Hillerska for only a month and is already trying so hard to change to meet their standards - and change her family as well.

Of course there is nothing wrong with table manners but the way she corrects everyone and tells them what to do, including her own mum (who after a hard work day has every right to sit however she pleases at her table), is pretty rude. But that didn't even bother me as much as the next thing she says:

Talking about the students at Marieberg like that with Ayub sitting right there... that made me so mad. Ayub is a chill guy and maybe he didn't care, maybe he guessed or knew(?) that Sara didn't include him in that statement but it's just as likely that it did affect him. It was simply uncalled for.

Also it shows how Sara has already adopted a "them" vs. "us" mentality. She thinks the Marieberg students are losers who will never get anywhere in life, when she was one of them not too long ago. Makes me wonder if she's always felt like she is better than them. And now she is at Hillerska, part (but not really a part) of the elite and it's obvious that that means a lot to her.

And on the other side we have Simon, who doesn't care about Sara's quips and is a little shit about it. I can't really tell whether he is simply amused and irritated by his sister's behaviour or if he is already worried she will change permanently.

In any case he is looking out for her (talking to her about the way Felice treats her and keeping an eye on her to make sure she feels better at Hillerska than Marieberg) and not only her but his mum too:

You can see him think of what to say to make her feel more at ease. He's such a mama's boy and I love how much he cares for her. But it's sad that he feels the need to step in when Sara and Linda have an argument and reassure Linda that Sara will be fine and that Linda is a good mum and generally mediating to bring peace to their home.

Simon tries so hard to make sure his family is okay and that everyone is happy and untroubled. It might partly be his role as the man in the house that pressures him to take so much responsibility but I think it's more about Simon seeking harmony in his family life after the fallout of Micke's addictions.

And this need for harmony in his family and for his loved ones to be happy and carefree is ultimately the reason for any rash and irresponsible decision he makes. Like getting alcohol for August. Simon doesn't care for himself that much but he cares a whole lot for his family.

On a lighter note: look at this cutie!

Like mother like son <3

God, it must be so exhausting to never know what others are really thinking when you are talking to them. In this instance it is pretty obvious but I'm sure Wille has been and will continue to be in situations in which it's hard to tell whether someone says something because they truly believe it or because they think it's what Wille (or rather the Royal Family) believes and wants to hear.

I'm a little unsure about this scene.

With the way the upper class often justifies their status, beliefs and the hierarchy through religion, I'm not at all surprised that they take it seriously in this elite school. The monarchy is tightly tied to Christianity as well and Hillerska has a lot of students from noble families.

What I'm confused about is how clumsy Wille looks here. Him folding his hands and his "amen" are delayed, as if he doesn't know what's happening. I would imagine that he knows his way around a church and praying, considering he must be baptised and had his confirmation. But maybe I'm reading too much into this and he is simply distracted because of the whole situation and him feeling uncomfortable here.

I don't know if this is a controversial opinion since I've mostly seen fans love Simon's friendship with Ayub and Rosh but I am very conflicted about them to be honest. And this is one reason.

If I had an addicted parent, I would be heartbroken to hear that my friends went behind my back and bought drugs from them. Not only are drugs a sensitive topic anyway but Simon's friends buying from Micke also means that they are supporting him financially in his drug abuse.

Ayub apologizing for it shows that he knows that was wrong. He's lucky Simon is so lenient here because he'd have every right to be upset about it.

And then Ayub has the audacity to tell Simon to stay away from his dad. Who he himself bought alcohol from. I get that he is trying to look out for his friend but it's honestly fucked up to advise Simon to keep his distance while Ayub is still in touch with Micke.

Ayub seems to be an old friend and has likely seen or at least heard all about the situation in Simon's family until Micke moved out. He very likely also knows about the promise to break tie with their dad that Sara wrenched from Simon. So he must know that not keeping in touch isn't what Simon himself wanted but a choice he made for Sara's sake.

I'm really angry on Simon's behalf that everyone around him tries to dictate how he should handle that situation and expects him to stay away from his dad, when that should be his - and only his - decision to make.

Wille checking his own picture (the one Felice masturbated to no less) is very interesting. Is he checking whether or not one can tell that he hated that situation? Is he checking whether or not he succeeded in faking it and "keeping up appearances"?

And of course his mom dismisses his plea to come home. But we'll get to her and her parenting methods later.

The frog snow globe!

I think I completely missed it the first time watching. Now it feels like there is a lot in this tiny scene.

Foreshadowing to Wille becoming Crown Prince of course. But also generally being part of the Royal Family and the pressure Wille has always been under because of it. Wille's "I want to come home" seems to be a plea to get out of this life altogether but his responsibilities as the Queen's son are keeping him bound to it, the snow globe looming over him as a symbol of that.

It's possible I'm going a little overboard here but with art you never know. Literally anything can have a deeper meaning in the grand scheme of things and the way this scene was composed, it's possible I'm not too far off.

I don't agree. There is no excuse for child molestation and rape. It can never ever be excused. Whereas murder can have various motivations and some are very understandable (not saying that means it can be justified) and there definitely is a grey area here. Weird to think these students all agreed on that rating.

But I'm also fascinated by the wording here. Because from what I hear in Swedish it sounds like they were talking about pedophilia. That got translated to child molestation, which makes more sense anyway since they are talking about crimes. Pedophilia is a disorder that obviously results in child molestation if acted on. But in and of itself it isn't a crime. So I agree more with the translation here than with the original wording.

Maddie wears glasses???

God, these ignorant, privileged kids make me mad.

This is one of my all time favourite scenes in the whole show <3

Get their asses, Simon!

With the way he talks you can really tell that he knows his way around this topic and is invested in politics and social justice. I love Simon for speaking up about it in a class full of upper class teenagers who all share the same opinion. That's brave.

Then there is Wille, who looks kind of confused. I wonder if it's because he's never thought about things like that (very likely) or because he is taking in the class dynamic, watching how Simon is up against the rest of them. Or maybe he is transfixed by the fact that Simon dares to speak up against the others at all. Or you know, a mix of it all.

I also wonder whether Sara is silent in this discussion because she is shy and doesn't feel as brave and comfortable as Simon to disagree with the masses, or if she simply doesn't feel as strongly about that topic as her brother and is on her way to blend in with the Hillerska kids. It could also be a mix of both but I'm leaning more towards the second option because it looks like she is eyeing Simon disapprovingly.

[schelluminium]

Part 4:

Wille will forever be adorable to me for introducing himself to Simon as if he isn't the literal prince that was just paraded around school and had the choir - including Simon - perform for him.

The class divide, the whole us-vs-them mentality is already so strong in this episode. From sitting at opposite ends of the table to the appalled faces of Nils and Vincent at the audacity of Simon wanting a word with August.

And what they do talk about is merely a transaction, Simon being of use and servicing the upper class by getting them what they want, for the rare chance to experience - and more importantly have Sara experience - the same social life they do. Plus of course August's condescending treatment of Simon. There really are a lot of facettes to this divide that this shows, I feel.

This scene was really emotional for me to watch the first time and still is. The complicated relationship between Simon and Micke is tangible and there are a lot of different feelings in this short sequence, as well as quite a bit of subtle information on the Eriksson family and its members.

There is so much in Micke's face alone in these few seconds.

Being confronted by his son about dealing booze has him shocked, ashamed. And then Simon asks him if he can get some from him too. I can only assume what Micke's thoughts must be in this moment. Is this how my son sees me? Is this all I am to him now?

For a moment that gets overshadowed by relief at Simon telling him that he doesn't drink, that he chooses not to follow his dad's path down destruction.

And then he is back to being reminded that he let his family down and that his relationship to his own children is shattered. Simon doesn't want anyone to know that he was here. Simon doesn't want to be associated with Micke, doesn't want to talk about him with his mum or sister. He came here to ask for something, not to spend time with his dad. That might be justified and I believe Micke knows that too but nonetheless it must hurt like hell.

And of course Simon is hurting too. He is obviously uncomfortable being here, seeing his dad in a bad state - unshaved and red around his eyes - seeing him hastily put away an empty bottle of what I think is vodka, sees the mess in his flat. Simon's hands are fidgeting and I bet he wonders why he came here.

But I think it wasn't just his deal with August. Maybe Simon was even secretly glad to get an excuse at coming here, as in S3 he states that he really wanted to stay in touch with his dad and only stayed away for Sara's sake. But now he's here and sees how it is and it must be a lot to take in and bring back bad memories for him. He hasn't seen his dad in a long time and they grew apart and I'm sure that's very difficult to handle for a 16 year old.

And then there is this thing. Micke asks how Sara and Linda are doing, gets an answer and asks the same questions again only a few seconds later. It could be his intoxicated state or the new medication or maybe even just his surprise and nerves over Simon's sudden visit that makes him a little forgetful and clumsy. But my own theory is that his memory has already been permanently affected by his drug abuse.

Right after he asks the second time the camera moves to Simon's face and to me it felt as if this detail made him think or even revealed something to him.

And I feel Micke forgetting about his son's sexuality is also a good indicator of my theory. Simon likely came out to his parents and talked it through with them and I can't imagine that you would forget about an emotionally loaded moment like that as a parent.

Still it is nice though that he was shown to us as unbothered by and supportive of his son's sexuality. It was a sweet moment.

One last thing (because I know I have talked a lot about this scene now and I should carry on): the satsumas/tangerines. We see Simon eating those several times over the course of the show. Is this something small and seemingly insignificant that he has in common with Micke? Does Micke always have some at home just on the off chance that his son comes visiting (I know that one is unlikely)? Am I reading too much into a bowl of fruit here? I mean, there is a lot of symbolism in this show and tiny things can hold a lot of meaning...

I can't imagine ever going through something like that. Wille looks terrified and we already know that he is an anxious person. Hazing can literally kill people and it' is simply a way's only purpose is to degrade and humiliate others, a power trip for those in charge.

I bet August, Vincent, Nils and all the others got off on letting the prince of all people crawl in the mud for them and give him a proper scare. Simply disgusting.

There is also something very ironic about the Queen sending Wille here to stay out of trouble because apparently they can't keep him safe if he is going to a "normal" school. Keep him safe from what? I bet he never went through anything even remotely as scary as this at his former school. And to think that Wille has likely been briefed and prepared for the possibility of being kidnapped due to being a part of the royal family, this must have been extra horrifying.

This makes it even worse. August knows that Wille has tried to live his life as normally as he can despite his role, has tried to go to a "normal" school, blend in with the "normal" people and feels uncomfortable about being in the spotlight. So what exactly is August saying here? "You want to be like everyone else? You want to be treated like everyone else? Well, this is how we treat them, so you're welcome"??

How about instead of treating everyone equally shitty, we treat everyone with respect? Huh? How about that, August?

[schelluminium]

Part 5 (Final Part):

To cool down from the heavy stuff, how about a few fun party pictures from Wille's class?

No need to say much. This is just vile. But it's quite interesting to watch Wille's face go from that's a funny joke to oh shit, he's serious.

Wilmon looking at each other will never not be magical.

Party Prince Wille is in da house!

Obviously wherever he goes, Wille stands out, people stare at him, want to talk to him, etc. and he's being put on a pedestal because of his role as prince. And here and now it's the same. I think it is a very clever way of showing that in this scene with Wille literally standing out, standing higher than the others and them looking up at/to him. He's being idolised and I think that partying and especially drinking/taking other drugs is a way for Wille to bear that attention. At least in this situation he isn't being celebrated for looking put together and neat in a suit and smiling next to his mother, the Queen. In this context it is because he's seen as fun by people his age, even if their interest in him might not be genuine, might not be because of who he is but what he is. And drugs have a way of helping with loosening up in social circles in which Wille usually seems tense and anxious.

I can't stress enough how much I love Simon annoying Sara by being a dorky little shit. It's the cutest thing to me.

Back to drugs: it's very interesting to me how Sara and Simon have a contrasting approach to drinking. They grew up with the same dad whose addiction made their life difficult and broke their family apart. While Sara doesn't want to see him again, Simon very much does. And still it is Sara who has no problem trying out drinking herself, while Simon stays away from alcohol completely.

It makes me wonder if Sara can't comprehend what it means to get into an addiction and might blame Micke for becoming an alcoholic in the first place as if it is a choice, one that she will simply not make. She seems very angry at him for everything he's done and while we don't know what exactly that "everything" was, maybe she is throwing his illness in there as well. Sara gets a lot of character development throughout S3 but before that I have a feeling she had been very set in her views and opinions, whereas I think Simon is very open-minded and tries to see everything from both sides.

I think these shots are so beautiful. Like from an aesthetic point of view. And it's also interesting to see Sara being drunk, looking around in wonder and laughing when before we didn't see her expressing a lot of positive emotions.

I really thought they would become a couple when I first watched this scene but their friendship was more than enough. I love the portrayal of platonic love in this show and how real friends are so important and can make you feel so happy.

Once again, the way they look at each other!

The way they were so smitten with each other after such a short time always gives me butterflies.

It's interesting how Simon deflected from answering and then we have Wille lying about being happy here, none of them ready to confide in the other yet (of course not, they are merely acquaintances) while both of them are actually struggling. They don't know yet that this is something they have in common.

Once again, in case it wasn't clear: I love Simon being a little shit!

I really thought they were going to kiss...

And that's it for episode 1! It was quite time-consuming to make these posts. I do actually want to react to every episode of the show, I just don't know how long that will take me.

[schelluminium]

Fav Shots From The Episode:

I decided, since I took a lot of screenshots that I didn't include in my analysis but that I find great for various reasons (aesthetically pleasing, good facial expression/posture of a character, funny situation,...) I will pick a few I especially like and put them here, along with my favourite shots that I actually already included. Just my favourite pictures from this episode, really.

[schelluminium]

Okay, so I actually have one more thing to say about the start of the show:

I said before that I like how some things are left unexplained and this moment is one of them. We never got the context of this fight, if there was more to it than we can see or not. I've seen many reaction videos on YR and quite a few people speculated about this scene, without ever getting more information on it. The beauty of that is that it's up to our own interpretations.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[grapehyasynth]

[schelluminium]

I just published a oneshot about two sweet, mutual-pining and very-much-in-love idiots. Porn with Feelings alert!

Read it here

[schelluminium]

It's My Birthday! (The 10th)

It would mean the world to me if, as a birthday present, whoever comes across this post checked out my ao3, read my fics, left kudos and comments(!!!) and promoted my works!

Here are some snippets to motivate you:

“You did this on purpose, didn't you?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Madison replied but her shit-eating grin said it all.

“Did you really have to give him the most revealing thing? Really? Was that necessary?” Wille sighed and tried to pin her with a death stare but Madison had always been immune to those.

“I did what's best for my collection,” she just shrugged and Wille guessed that it wasn't even a lie. The photos were definitely going to be a hit. But then again the camera simply loved Simon and Wille was sure whatever the man wore would have sparkled like diamonds on his flawless skin anyway.

“You chose violence, Madison McCoy,” he said darkly. “Violence against all queer men with good eyesight.”

Madison chuckled and patted him on the back.

“Not my fault you are such a disaster around hot people. Try to not let it affect your work. Less ogling, more snapping pictures.”

- All Eyes On Him (photographer Wille x model Simon, Rated E, Smut, Oneshot)

He hadn't felt the money much – which he now knew was the result of the ignorance over his privilege that he'd had as a kid – but he had felt all the pressure put on his shoulders by his mum. He'd felt the absence of her showing feelings – at least positive ones – and the absence of his father's parenting. He'd felt a lot as a kid in general.

Sometimes he wondered if sadness felt sadder to him, if fear felt scarier and silence rang louder only for him or if others were simply better at dealing with all of that. Erik had never complained much, had never seemed as bothered as Wille, even though they'd had the same upbringing.

Their mum strict and stern, their dad a quiet shadow beside her, neither of them had ever seemed sad or afraid or unhappy. Discontent at times, disappointed, yes. But they had made their bed with purpose and lay in it as if it was the comfiest place, while Wille felt suffocated by the thick blanket of their expectations that they tucked him in with every night.

At times that blanket hadn't felt as heavy, whenever Erik crawled under it with him to cuddle and make up silly fairytales of princes in towers that got saved by a knight in shining armor who just so happened to hop by in the shape of a frog and needed the prince's kiss to transform back and slay the dragon guarding the tower with his sword.

Erik had been a good story teller. He had used different voices and made Wille laugh in the quiet of the night, drowning out the deafening silence of a too big room Wille always felt especially small in.

- And When You See Me For All That I Am (Wille on the run x bartender & musician Simon, Rated E, WIP, chapters: 6/?)

“I really don't mind you coming to my concerts,” Simon said quietly after some time.

Wille felt his heart flip at that. “I'm sorry by the way,” he felt the need to say.

Simon turned to him with a frown. “What for?”

“For this whole mess,” Wille waved around vaguely. “For pulling you into the spotlight with me. You got a lot of horrible comments over this. It was my fault.”

“What are you talking about?” Simon asked, sighing. “You didn't do anything. You just stood there and listened to me sing.”

Wille still felt guilty about the whole situation but he felt himself relax lightly. Simon didn't hold a grudge against him and that made hope bloom in his chest.

“If anything,” Simon started to argue, “I should be the one apologizing. Apparently simply looking at someone counts as eye-fucking nowadays,” he murmured to himself and Wilhelm choked in surprise.

“If it helps you, I didn't feel, um, eye-fucked by you,” he cringed at his own wording.

Simon snorted before pouting in mock-offense. “Ouch. That hurts my pride.”

- You Make Me Stupid (actor Wille x singer Simon, Rated E, WIP, chapters: 34/?)

[schelluminium]

Chapter 6 of "And When You See Me For All That I Am" is out now!

I hope y'all enjoy it because it's special to me ❤️

[schelluminium]

Chapter 5 of "And When You See Me For All That I Am" is out now! ❤️