Loki, Sylvie, and Mobius Incorrect Quotes
Mobius: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Sylvie: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Loki, deer!"
Mobius: ...And what did Loki do?
Sylvie: ...He said "Yes, Honey?"
Mobius: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Sylvie: We're chopsticks!
Mobius: Well... that's cute!
Mobius: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Loki: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
Sylvie: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Loki's birthday invitations.
Mobius: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Sylvie: "Loki's birthday".
Mobius: So, what do they say instead?
Sylvie: "Loki’s bi".
Mobius:
Mobius: Works out either way.
Mobius: Is this your plan B?
Sylvie: Technically, this is plan P.
Mobius: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Sylvie: Yes, but I marry Loki in plan M.
Loki: I like plan M.
Loki: Come on, Mobius. Nobody actually believes that Sylvie is in love with me.
Mobius, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Sylvie is helplessly in love with Loki.
*Everyone raises their hand*
Loki: Sylvie, put your hand down.
Loki: I lost Sylvie.
Mobius: How did you LOSE Sylvie?!
Loki: To be fair, she is very small.
Loki: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Sylvie way.
Mobius: Isn't that the wrong way?
Loki: Yes, but it's faster.
Loki: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Sylvie: Yes.
Loki: I love you.
Sylvie: It back.
*Later*
Mobius: Why is Loki crying face-down on the floor?
Mobius: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Sylvie: I'm a knife.
Loki, from across the room: She’s the little spoon.
Mobius: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Loki: Bleach.
Sylvie: Sewage.
Mobius: ...Please calm down, edgelords.
Sylvie: If you want my advice-
Mobius: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.
Sylvie: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, he’s also tried to kill me.
Loki: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.
Mobius: You need a hobby.
Loki: I have a hobby!
Mobius: Fawning over Sylvie isn’t a hobby.
Mobius: H-how do you ask someone out?
Loki: Well, first-
Sylvie: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.
Mobius: ...And you said yes?
Mobius: What happened to Loki?
Sylvie: He died.
Mobius: He what?
Sylvie: He died, but he’s okay.
Mobius: …Can you please clarify?
Loki: Clarification is for the weak.
