roach phobia @sciallyawkrd - Tumblr Blog

im sorry my throat hurts every time i speak out loud, im sure postive thinking will heal everything 🥰🥰

#cause thats what good thoughts do #obviously #it has worked really good on you rigth?#i know its probably their way of caring but #your way of caring fucking sucks the life outta me

sciallyawkrd

only my body could turn a common cold into a fucking mild respiratory infection

sciallyawkrd

revisiting this cause its fuckin winter again BUT this time I got a normal cold!! my body stopped being a bitch! my inmune system is so peak omg

#kinda waiting 4 it to get worsr but apparrntly its not gonna happen #hopefuly #it better not cause my birthday is next week #take that body

ya no tengo ni energia para enojarme

sciallyawkrd

se q debería contarle este tipo de pensamientos a la psicóloga pero no se como sacar el tema

pq ni siquiera es un tema recurrente en el mes, ni siquieran duran tanto como para ser realmente importantes o dignos de mencionar, ni siquiera lo hago x cosas realmente graves. son pensamientos que llegan por idioteces, incovenientes de todos los dias y me hacen sentir taan tonta

pq osea, no es normal, pero no es tan fuerte como q importe

e incluso si importara o si se lo contase, ¿realmente haria diferencia alguna? si me encargase ejercicios, ¿realmente los haria?

ya nos estamos viendo una vez al mes, con todo lo que se viene, nadie en mi familia puede seguir costeandome estas sesiones

sciallyawkrd

he manejado mis emociones sola desde siempre y me ha salido mas o menos bien, puedo seguir haciéndolo sin matarme en el proceso

se q debería contarle este tipo de pensamientos a la psicóloga pero no se como sacar el tema

pq ni siquiera es un tema recurrente en el mes, ni siquieran duran tanto como para ser realmente importantes o dignos de mencionar, ni siquiera lo hago x cosas realmente graves. son pensamientos que llegan por idioteces, incovenientes de todos los dias y me hacen sentir taan tonta

pq osea, no es normal, pero no es tan fuerte como q importe

e incluso si importara o si se lo contase, ¿realmente haria diferencia alguna? si me encargase ejercicios, ¿realmente los haria?

ya nos estamos viendo una vez al mes, con todo lo que se viene, nadie en mi familia puede seguir costeandome estas sesiones

q ridículo

un paso delante, tres atrás

el regaño que me va a llegar mañanaaa

no se si mentir o decir la vdd, que tedioso es tener que explicar todas estas situaciones de mierda

tengl la intencion, si que la tengo, pero mis acciones no rstan coincidiendo mucho con mis palabras y me pregunto que tan falsa es la impresión que tienen los demas de mi

en especial mi psicologa

"¿que hacen ellas qur tu no? ¿que necesitas para llegar a eso?" NO SE

NOSENOSENOSENOSE YA BASTA

got a live reminder i am not a good person and that every single inconvenience and failure i have gone thru is totally deserved

well no, i stand corrected i know why i must put up with this shit but still

it feels kind of unfair

like you let me inside your house cause my privacy was being neglected and you feared i was going to be so isolated to the point i might hurt myself and not develop correctly

but as soon as i try to take back my privacy or develop with some sense of normalcy you get angry because it doesnt align with ur expectations or doesnt fulfill whatever absurd image you have created of me in ur head

#it gets to a point #they all tell me to speak up about my feelings but as soon as i do they get minimized and step upon #they think they know soooo much and that im just a dumb girl that hasnt grown up from being a scaredy cat #“why are you such a brat” take a guess #“youre a savage and have no respect 4 anyone else” geez i wondered who raised such a nasty girl #im talkin from a privileged position and it irks me even more #its prolly the meds talkin

its incredibly frustrating how i always have to be the bigger person when it comes to my grandma like why do i have to put up with such bullshit

she always gets mad at me for the dumbest reasons and i cant even defend myself cause thats "disrepecting her",,,,,

sorry im my own fucking individual???? never though that not being a younger mirror of ypur nasty self would be such a crime

also in really stressed cause i havent been able to make progress on my homework and I have to turn in that shit in two days or less

#my brain feels like jelly i cant fucking focus #i mean it feels like that most of the time but it worse today

have been nagging me for 15 mins about the shirt I decided to wear to my doctor appointment

i promised they do not give a fuck nor do they remember what Im wearing you are the only one that has a problem with it

sciallyawkrd

have also noticed that whenever my throath is sore, my family suddenly turns into the most conversational people ever

like i told you five seconds ago that my throath burns everytime I speak why are you asking me things I cant answer with yes or no

sciallyawkrd

woke up without a fever and without the aching in my body only to go back to square 1 once I found out my family indeed does not listen to me

#“why didnt you wanna talk yesterday?”.... i told my throat was sore like three times #have they ever listened to me tho? prolly not

they can never cut me some slack, even when sick

#ur hash words arent making me feel better granny #gosh do they ever shut up

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