atelophobia

scorpius malfoy. sixteen. slytherin.

[clarkegriffins]

“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.”

— R. Arnold (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus sat up, a smirk striking across his face immediately upon seeing Scorpius. For multiple reasons, but mostly because he couldn’t wait to hear whatever story was about to come out of his best friend’s mouth. “If you think that claiming the story is lame will somehow make me not ask then you don’t know me at all. Pray, tell, why are you absolutely soaking, my dear Scoripus?”

    Scorpius wasn’t sure he was ready to explain he tipped over face first into the lake. It was humorous when he thought about it but also very embarrassing. He cleared his throat and noted the puddle that was forming underneath him. “It really is a lame story though... of how.. your best friend.. literally has no balance and this is why I always told Andromeda I shouldn’t play Quidditch because I’m sure I’d be dead by now if I did.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

    Upon arriving to the common room, he didn’t expect to see Albus right as he walked in. His clothes were soaked and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to embarrass himself anymore in front of his best friend and explain how he had tripped right into the lake when out walking. He had left his wand behind so a charm was out of the equation. He blinked, “I can explain-- it’s a really lame story though.”

@xalbusxseverusxpotter

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

alyxzabini‌.

   “Sorry, I’m not trying to stare, I’m just trying to figure out what your costume is exactly.” Alyx liked seeing people dress up. It was something they had always enjoyed to do when they were younger and they were defiantly not going to miss this party. “I like it.” They smiled slightly at the other person. 

   “It’s just a skull. Like a skeleton. I tried to go for that anyways. I don’t think I did that good of a job.” He admitted. Scorpius pushed his hair back and then looked over at his friend, “What’d you decide to dress up as?” He smiled.

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

gembuchanan‌.

          “Maybe don’t enter any costume contests, Scorpius,” Gemma teased, her lips curling in a kind smile. “But, you seem skull like so, you’ll get a gold star for participation.” 

   “They have costume contests?” He said a little puzzled. He could see that though, Scorpius shrugged a shoulder, “That’s fair enough. A ‘you tried’ star.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus brushed his fingers against Scorpius’s. “You’re, like, a foot taller than me. I think I’m safe.”

   He chuckled, that was true. Scorpius could easily cover him if anything went too badly. “Alright then, let’s try it before we change our minds.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

   They had gone through a lot lately but he was glad their friendship hadn’t been affected in a negative aspect because of it. Scorpius looked up at the haunted house and then looked over at Albus, “You sure you wanna do this?”

@xalbusxseverusxpotter

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

gembuchanan‌.

            “The wings probably won’t be my smartest idea,” Gemma commented as she adjusted the fairy wings on her back. “But Happy Halloween, eh?”

   “Well, your costume’s much better than mine. I just did a failed attempt at doing my make up like a skull. Though I’m not sure I did it right.”

[muserhq]

“I always wanted to explore the world by myself, but now I would rather conquer the world with you by my side.”

— redlipsandrouge (via wnq-writers)

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

@xalbusxseverusxpotter

[slytherinwritess]

“The weight of the sky burdens your shoulders, but darling you have a heart made of lions, and you are stronger than you think.”

— atlas didn’t crumble; so neither will you // liza dv.  (via slytherinwritess)

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xanwu‌.

    Xan was actually a bit surprised that the other willingly gave in so quickly, a smile fixing itself on his lips as he offered out his silver cigarette case. “I’d stick to the ones on the left side, they’re just plain cigarettes. Unless you’re feeling more adventurous.” Even though some may have thought it foolish for him to carry blunts intermingled with his cigarettes, it was actually a brilliant idea in his mind. Who would question that it wasn’t a simple cigarette and nothing more? If they did, he could always brush it off as paranoia at work. “What’s got you so stressed out that it’s driven you to smoke, Scorpius?” He actually felt a tinge of concern – which was rare.

He took the case and paused to listen to what he was saying before nodding. He had a good idea of what the others were and it was probably not a good idea to dip into that. This itself isn’t a good idea. He pulled out a cigarette and then lit it, staring at it for a moment before attempting to smoke what he thought was the correct way to do it. He had seen it many times. How hard could it be? He inhaled and instantly felt the burning in his throat, letting out a few coughs, he pulled the cigarette back and cleared his throat. He didn’t understand the appeal but maybe it was something that needed to be done a few times. Scorpius glanced over at Xan, “Family.” He wasn’t fully lying, having seen what his grandfather put his sister into a panic mode had caused some stress. “I guess sometimes I just get fed up with being a Malfoy among other things.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus chuckled, knowing the air from it was hitting Scorpius’s in the face, the same way he’d felt Scorpius’s laugh against his own face. It was weird intimate, the softness of another’s exhale in close proximity. He wasn’t able to open his eyes until he heard his best friend’s voice. “No, no. You don’t have to scream. We do get some reception through this thick skull, I’ll have you know.” His eyes fluttered closed, and his lungs shuttered. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones to be blessed to have fallen in love with my best friend. Nothing seemed more important than those words. They even seemed too important for him. The truth serum stirred his mind. “I–” He took a deep breath. “Is it bad that my first instinct is to think that this is a joke? A prank?” He made eye-contact, terrified of the look that appear on his friend’s face. “I know it’s not,” he added quickly, before Scorpius could say anything. “You wouldn’t ever do that to me. I know that. I’ve just spent so long thinking–I mean I never expected anyone to ever–certainly not someone like you–certainly not you–it felt like an impossible–” He kept getting swallowed by his words. Albus rocked back, breaking contact with the other boy. He place both hands on his own chest, just under the pecs, where the scars where. He could feel the through his shirt. He looked down. “I-I’m sorry.” He dug his fingers deeper into the fabric as his whole torso shook. “I don’t know why I said all that.” He laughed, breathy and a little forced. Maybe he wanted to give Scorpius one last out before he got too invested, or maybe he needed another little shove. He was more than a little scared. 

   “It is a little but it’ll just be something that we’ll work on.” Scorpius had a feeling that he wouldn’t believe him at first and if it weren’t for the truth serum, he knew that the other would have doubts but there was no way around it anymore. His confession out loud to Cora had made him realize that he couldn’t just pretend that the emotions weren’t there when he was having those thoughts more often than not. He reached up and cupped Albus’ face in his hands with a gentle touch because that’s always how Scorpius was. Gentle. Almost like he was always afraid to break someone with his touch. He wanted Albus to look up into his eyes because his actions and movements told Scorpius everything he needed to know. He had known him long enough to figure it out by now. “Look, here’s the truth of the matter. I have seen you at your lowest, your ugliest and you worst days but I have also seen you on your highest, best and most wondrous ones as well and I choose both. I choose everything because I love you despite anything. Flaws, imperfections, strengths and virtues. There is literally nothing you can say or do that would scare me away and... I was afraid to say anything for the longest time because I think deep down I already knew but.. Albus, you’re my best friend and it’s scary and dangerous because if something happens.. there’s so much more to be lost but you’re worth that risk. You’re worth all the risks, Albus and you know that I’m not one to take risks but I can’t keep it hidden anymore.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

malfcyprincess‌.

She fought hard to control the sobbing, knowing that despite the fact that she wanted to cry an entire ocean of tears, it would surely cause him to feel all the more worse about the situation. Especially considering that her brother was the second boy that day to have somehow broken her heart. And she didn’t want that. She wanted to make him feel like she was there for him, despite how hopeless he clearly felt. Because she was. She would always be there for him. No matter what he could ever say to her and not matter how badly he ever hurt her, she knew she would. Reaching up she cupped her brothers face in her hands and made him look at her, “It’s okay. You don’t have to know. I just want you to at least give me the opportunity to try. We can figure this out together. I know it’s not going to be an overnight thing, I know I might not understand everything. But just, don’t push me away.”

    Scorpius remained silent for a moment but he knew that moment felt like an eternity.  He wasn’t sure what to say because he wasn’t trying to push her away on purpose but it was just easier. She had so much on her plate already, she was doing so much, she didn’t need a weight like him to drag her down. That’s all he ever felt like sometimes and although he knew it wasn’t true to her, if put side by side, that’s what he felt like. Scorpius’ jaw tensed and the guilt in his heart returned. It was difficult because it was something he had kept hidden to himself for so long. Scorpius was always willing to carry and help anyone else but to allow someone to help him? That was the struggle. He sighed and put his hands up to his face, dragging them down as he pulled them back. “Alright.” His voice weak and he was sure she could hear the uncertainty in it. “I don’t know how it’s going to work.. but alright.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus’s eyes popped–wide and shocked. Like straight out of a cheesy Rom-Com, he froze. DOES NOT COMPUTE read vividly on his face. He didn’t even pucker his lips. Until he did. It only took two seconds for Albus’s eyes to close, for his hand to thread into Scorpius’s hair, and for his lips to kiss back. He shifted towards his best friend and rose to his knees to kiss him from a higher angle. His second hand joined his first hand in Scorpius’s hair. Did he know that he wanted this? His mind pretended he didn’t, but his reaction said otherwise. He kissed Scorpius until he couldn’t breathe. When he pulled away, he left his forehead resting against his companion’s. He blinked and sucked on his own bottom lip, remembering the feeling. “Wait–what?” Albus exhaled. 

   Scorpius didn’t hesitate to keep Albus in the kiss, he placed his hands on his back and leaned upwards towards him. He wasn’t sure where all this emotion was coming from, from Albus or from himself but there was so much of it but it was overpowering in a way that left Scorpius breathless. He couldn’t help but chuckle when Albus finally pulled back and asked the question once more, “I don’t know how much clearer I can be, Albus or if I have to scream it in your face for you to understand.” He peeked up to look into his eyes, "No one will ever come close to replacing you and I guess I’m one of the lucky ones to be blessed to have fallen in love with my best friend.”

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus locked eyes with his best friend, his head tilted out, his brows knitted together. “Because you…?” He wasn’t expecting the answer would be so difficult for him to say. It was either yes or no. He didn’t expect him to expand or explain–was that the serum kicking in? Or was that simply Scorpius thinking he had to because of the serum? When he finally got all of his words out, Albus was stunned into a silence. He covered, but only enough to say, “Okay…uhm…” Feelings other than you being my best friend…in the mind of Albus, that could only mean one thing. “So…what? You think of me as…a brother? A cousin?” The thought deflated Albus. He wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t want Scorpius to see him like that. A brother. A cousin. Why not? Maybe because he had plenty of those already. Maybe because family didn’t have much of a choice when it came to sticking around and he wanted him to have a choice. He wanted Scorpius to choose to stay. Maybe because brother or cousin felt like a step down from best friend. Or maybe, truly, there was more to it than that. The way Albus looked at Scorpius…the way Albus touched Scorpius…that wasn’t like a brother or cousin at all. He didn’t want to change how he interacted with his best friend. 

   For a moment Scorpius was in shock that his first reaction was that he thought of him as family. He had to stop himself and reevaluate how to say his words now that they were out in the open. There was silence and he wasn’t sure how to respond at first. Scorpius knew about Albus’ insecurities but he didn’t think they’d go this deep. The male looked back up at him and shook his head, “No.” The answer was firm but short because he didn’t know what else to say to make him realize that was not what he was referring to. He called his name, “Albus- look at me.” He waited for him to do so before he did the bravest thing he’s ever done because if truth be told, he wasn’t impulsive and everything was always calculated but this wasn’t-- this was all heart. Scorpius leaned in and closed the space between them as he kissed him. Sometimes actions spoke louder than words.

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

Albus nodded. “That’s okay,” he said in a whisper. He bumped his shoulder against Scorpius’s. “Now that I know and understand, we can figure it out together. Like we always do.” He hoped that his smile was encouraging. He hoped that Scorpius would come to him from then on and that they really could brave their storms together–honestly and completely. Together or not at all. It was a promise Albus had never said out loud, but the truth of which transcended oral confirmation. Yet there was still a voice scratching at the door near the back of his mind. A question Albus had to ask, that came up like vomit. He tried to swallow it back, but it wouldn’t stay. He had a chance to soothe his greatest fears. He had to ask. He stared at his sneaker the whole time. “Did you mean it when you said I’d still be your best friend even when you fall in love?” It was selfish of him to wish Scorpius said yes. The last thing he wanted was for his companion to have anything less than the absolute best, but on the other hand…Albus could be a very selfish person.

     He nodded slowly. The hard thing about recovery was wanting it. He had confessed to Andromeda how he didn’t but he knew deep down that was a lie. It was just the comfort of it and as horrid and selfish as that sounded, Scorpius couldn’t help it but he figured that’d be a stepping stone to cross when they got there. Baby steps, right? He knew he was going to be watched more closely from now on and that made a whole other different kind of anxiety arise but he didn’t show it. Scorpius then snapped out of his own thoughts when he asked another question. He glanced over at his best friend and without any hesitation, the words left his lips before he had a chance to think them through. “Yes and I can say that with even more confidence because I..” He paused, the realization set in about what he was going to say but it didn’t stop him. He couldn’t stop it with the serum, “I.. I think I have..” Even with the serum, he was afraid to say it because he wasn’t sure this was how he wanted him to find out but this wasn’t a question he was anticipating. “I have feelings for you, Albus.” He looked away and looked at his hands, now rubbing his thumb against his palm in a circular motion like he did when he was anxious. “Feelings other than you being my best friend..” He was afraid to look, he was afraid to see the expression on his face.

[scorpiivsmalfcy]

xalbusxseverusxpotter‌.

The last thing Albus wanted to do was jump the gun, or to interrupt. He knew Scorpius had to answer, so there was no risk of scaring him off. However, if he could make things easier for his friend, he would. In his mind, just letting Scorpius purge it all would be the easiest route. As he spoke, he nodded along. Even after Scorpius had finished, Albus stayed silent. He let the silence hang for a few moments. “Okay,” he said and squeezed his hand tighter. “I get it.” He wasn’t going to get mad. He wasn’t going to get hurt. He wasn’t going to scold him, or tell him what to do. It was pointless, and counterproductive. Besides, this wasn’t about him. Scorpius had been there through his roughest days. Never focusing on himself, never getting upset or impatient, never making him feel guilty. He was sure that his best friend knew this wasn’t healthy, and he hoped that he wanted to get better. “How do I help you?” With his free hand he stroked the side of Scorpius’s head. “What do I do?”

   Scorpius didn’t have the answer for the question that was presented. He didn’t know how to make this better. He didn’t know what he needed. He didn’t know how to take care of himself anymore. He was always so focused on everyone else that he had neglected himself for far too long and he knew what he was doing was unhealthy but the more he started to realize it, the more he did it. He didn’t know why he thought he could go for so long and not get caught. Eventually, someone would notice. He peeked up at him for a moment and then looked away, shaking his head followed by a shrug, “I don’t know..” He bit his bottom lip, “I really don’t know.”