The Chaotic Musings of Scotia Jones

It's your lucky day! I've decided to share some of my many thoughts about random things.

[scotiajones]

I have memories from attending a youth/beginners gymnastics class as a young child. On the first day, the main instructor explained the flow of the course. There would be a performance at the end for our parents to showcase our new skills.

I can remember learning new stretches. Using a large foam spindle to practice back bends. I can even picture the view of doing a cartwheel on a balance beam, with some guiding hands.

But my memories only seem to extend for a few sessions at most. And I have absolutely no memory of a recital.

I assume my parents know whether or not I finished the class. Assuming I did make it through the whole thing, and given my tendency to suppress traumatic memories, I’m afraid to ask.

[scotiajones]

[scotiajones]

It’s been a while, but my dad has started creating again. He had sunk into a depression under the force of extra stress and stopped doing some of the things he enjoyed. My sister and I bought him a much-need chair, which he took as love and support. It helped increase his energy and improved his outlook.

I see this as growth and opportunity

[scotiajones]

That’s a pear stem in between the fish 🤣

[scotiajones]

Today, counter crumbs made it into the design! What do you see?

[scotiajones]

I think today is the mounted head of a horned cow or bull. Anyone disagree?

[scotiajones]

I realized today that I don’t actually think telling lies is inherently bad. Stay with me here. It’s kinda like guns and gun violence. A gun sitting in a safe isn’t hurting anyone. Even a loaded gun, on a table, safety off, isn’t hurting anyone. When a person gets involved, things can change fast.

When a person lies with evil in their heart, it’s not great. But when you lie with honest intentions, as contradictory as that may seem, it’s not so bad. Lying about having murdered someone: bad. Lying to your BFF so they finally get the surprise party they always wanted: good.

[scotiajones]

Every morning, my dad gets up, leaving my mom and their dogs in bed, to go make coffee. He’s always been messy in the kitchen, but he recently started turning his spilled coffee grounds into art.

[scotiajones]

I applied to a graduate school program early last month. My application was good enough to get me an interview, which was last two Fridays ago. It’s now Wednesday afternoon. I had been told I would get a decision early this week.

The suspense is killing me so hard, I would gladly accept being turned down just to move on with my life.

[scotiajones]

I would love to watch a sequel to Forrest Gump that tells us what it was like to grow up with Forrest Gump as your only parent. Did the kid feel like he was raising his dad at times? Would Forrest still be alive? Did he find someone for a life partner? What’s his son like? Would he have his own family now?

I want to know! Can anyone who knows the original movie well mock up a sequel that answers my questions??

[scotiajones]

So I’m a student and my school uses the platform Canvas to access my online classes. This morning I found out that Canvas uses “AWS” to run its platform. I only know because there is a crazy huge outage of services happening right now.

It turns out, though, that AWS actually supports many services, like Fortnite, DuoLingo, Roblox, and others. It further turns out that AWS stands for Amazon Web Services. Yes, /that/ Amazon.

It freaks me out to realize how fully Jeff Bezos has us under his thumb.

[scotiajones]

My mom did something amazing the other day. She admitted to me she feels haunted by memories of the past. This alone is quite a breakthrough for our relationship. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine her admitting to anything she considered a weakness, even to herself. It makes sense when you understand the values that were modeled for her by her parents. She was taught that she was the problem if she ever couldn’t understand something or complete a task. It became an integral part of her identity that she is and must remain perfect. So approaching me and explaining how she didn’t make the best choice in a couple key points of my childhood was a pretty intense experience.

I remembered these moments too. I had even thought about them often. Having her acknowledge and apologize for how she behaved lifted a weight off me that made it almost easy to forgive her.

I wish it was easier for me to forgive her for everything. I know my life would be better if I did. But I can’t simply make myself, even for me. Moments of forgiveness like this make me hopeful for the future.

[scotiajones]

"I'm so turned on by how turned on you are."

"I know. It really turns me on."

[scotiajones]

Today I learned

I have been holding tension in my body because I had never fully accepted that my mother's ancestors came to America and did bad things to my other ancestors (Native on my father's side). It almost seems silly when I write it out, but I guess I still carry the pain from the atrocities against my people.

It feels good to share this epiphany with you. I cried when I realized how I felt about my mother. Now I think I can let it go and forgive her, something I feel I must do even though I know it's not her fault.

[scotiajones]

What did you learn today?

Today I learned that October is a very popular month. I already knew about Henrietta Lacks day on the 11th (if she doesn't ring a bell, do yourself a favor and look her and her family up. There's a movie on HBO) but my email accounts (because who doesn't have a decoy email for spam?) informed me of several other happenings this month. Are you feeling safe? Because it's Cybersecurity Month! Hungry? You're in luck because it's also National Pizza Month! Love titties? Well, they are still getting cancer so it's still Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Let's get those deaths to zero!

What other monthly celebrations are going on this October?? Tell me! I want to know!

[scotiajones]

I may not live for adventure, but I'll give it a little quality time every now and then.

[scotiajones]

What did you learn today?

Today I learned...

Not only do they still make the frozen dinners for kids that were a special treat in my childhood, but they are amazing! I saw them at the store and I just had to compare these bad boys to my memories. What a pleasant surprise!