“That’s ridiculous,” Eleanor said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes again. “I love you—we love you. You worry about people you love. It’s just what you do,” she said with a shrug and a hefty sigh. “No,” she began, “Sophie asked me to come with you because she’s worried.” Eleanor didn’t want to elaborate. She didn’t want to dive into Erica’s condition right now when they were already so tense. It wasn’t worth the extra headache. “Please don’t say things like that,” she said, and her bottom lip wobbled again. Although Eleanor knew he was just feeling very sore at the moment, she didn’t like him suggesting such a grim outlook about their future together. “Your honesty isn’t a good enough answer. You can’t possibly think that I’d let Erica get away from me this time around, did you?” Eleanor asked. “No, of course not. But every time I even broach the subject of your mother when we’re home you walk away from me. I can’t let you walk away from this conversation anymore,” she said sternly, even if her voice was shaking. Eleanor immediately cringed at Scott’s reaction, and reached a tentative hand out to touch his arm. “I’m—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out like that—oh, Scott,” she stammered, taking a deep breath and giving his bicep a little squeeze. “I don’t care what anyone else has to say about your mother besides you. The only person I ever wanted to hear about her from is you. What it’s like for you. Because you are the most important person in the world to me. Fuck everyone else and their big gobs,” Eleanor said. “How is it different? Why can’t I care for you in the same way you care for me?” she asked. As much as she felt like she understood Scott, there were times like this, where he felt a world away from her. And she hated it. “Antimony, my darling,” she whispered, bringing his hand to her lips to press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “Don’t lie to me,” she muttered against his skin. “No matter how messy or ugly things are with you mother, I’m not going anywhere. I—I can’t go anywhere. Nothing is going to scare me away, I promise. You know I’m here for you forever, don’t you?” she asked, looking up at him with an earnest expression. “And I know you don’t want to hear it, and maybe this is too general to even say but,” she gave his hand a squeeze, “everything is going to be okay.” Eleanor recalled saying those words to him thousands of times, and every time she did she didn’t know if everything was going to be okay, but she still said it. She didn’t know if everything would be okay now, but she wanted to be strong enough for the both of them, and she wanted more than anything for him to believe her when she said it.
“Is it good?” Eleanor asked with an exasperated laugh. “My difficult, beautiful boy,” she sighed, looking over at him and frowning a little. If she loved him any more she knew she’d actually combust with how emotional he made her sometimes. She chuckled half-heartedly at Isla’s joke. “If I actually swung I’d have probably broken my hand on his chest,” she said with a playful eye roll. “Oh, darling, if only you’d known him as a teenager,” she snorted, then smiled as she reminisced about her young Scott. How cocky he’d been, how brazen in his young age. He was still young now, but so much has happened to him, so much has weathered his spirit and she knew that he’d lived a hundred more lives than he was supposed to by now. “He can argue with me like an adult. I wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t,” she said with a little chuckle. “People in that town had a lot of things to say about Erica, some of it wasn’t kind. Not that I ever regarded any of it. I only ever wanted to know what it was like for him, but he wouldn’t tell me. Would hardly speak about her other than the occasional comment here and there,“ she said with a small shake of her head. She hated to remember how much it hurt her then, that he wouldn’t open up to her about Erica. It made it hurt worse now. "He is totally mad,” she agreed. “I appreciate you thinking this is graceful at all,” Eleanor laughed, gesturing to herself; her mussed hair and wrinkly plane clothes, the dark blue circles beneath her eyes. “I know he’ll come around, he usually does for me, I just don’t know why it has to be so difficult at the start every single time,” she lamented. But she would do this a million more times with Scott if it meant they’d still have each other. She wrapped Isla into another hug and sighed against her shoulder. “You’re very good at this, you know. Calming me down,” she said, then gave Isla a soft smile. She nodded at Isla’s sentiment. “Even if it feels a little painful right now, I do feel lucky to get to love him so much. I just hope he feels it because I think he wants to kill me a little bit right now,” Eleanor said with an exasperated laugh.
Sam furrowed his brows and tried not to laugh and tease Scott about his ridiculous plan to exclude Eleanor at all from his trip to Scotland. It didn’t really make much sense to him, considering how close he and Eleanor were, but Sam couldn’t rib him for it now when he knew how uncomfortable Scott was right now. “Aye, you’re clearly the smart brother ‘ere,” he joked anyway, because he couldn’t help himself. “It’ll all work itself out though. As intense as Eleanor is I’ve never seen her fold faster than for you,” Sam said, shooting his brother a smirk. “Ah, so it’s not so bad that I’ve come after all then, aye?” he said when Scott expressed his excitement for Sam to meet Ewan and Sophie. He felt like he knew them already, with how much Scott talked about them. “I think meself and the geezer will get along just fine,” he snickered. “Don’t lie now, old brother o’ mine. Your life would be so dull without me,” he laughed, dramatically batting his eyelashes. “Eh, like I said. As much as she wants to curl you up a bigger part of her is complete and utter fucking mush for you, mate. God knows why, but who am I to judge,” he chuckled. Though Sam didn’t think he’d ever seen a more sincere form of love in his life before he met Scott and Eleanor. It was something to behold for him, that was for sure, when every relationship he’d been in or witnessed always ended in shambles. “Aye…” he said, cocking an eyebrow at Scott’s expression when he spoke of Isla. “Looks like she’s already soothed your girl enough to be able to talk to you again,” he shrugged, glancing back at the girls. “Or it could be those martinis she’s drinkin’,” Sam sighed, and gave his head a little shake. “It’s not a bad thing to have someone care so much about ya, lad,” he said with a knowing look. Once Sam allowed his friends and family in closer his life got a hell of a lot easier.
After finishing her cocktail, Eleanor looked down at her phone to see they were due to board in a twenty minutes. She gave Isla’s hand a reassuring squeeze and they made their way over to the boys sitting at the bar. “We’re boarding in a bit, we should head to the gate,” she told them, and they shuffled in tired silence to the gate. Eleanor was sure even her bones felt tired now, and she prayed she’d be able to sleep during the flight. Once they were settled into their seats in first class, Eleanor felt like she was going to cry again–from this disconnection she felt with Scott, from anxiety, from exhaustion–she couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a normal quiet between herself and Scott as they sat in their seats, but one that had her feeling desperate to reach him. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it never got easier to handle. She turned to him a little and reached for his hand. Eleanor couldn’t believe she was about to concede to him, but she couldn’t bear putting him through anymore pain when he was clearly already spiraling over his mother. “I just want to say this. If you really, really, don’t want me to meet Erica I won’t go to the hospital with you,” she said quietly, and sighed, her shoulders slumping. “But I very desperately want to meet her. Obviously,” she added with the ghost of a chuckle. “I just…want you to want me to meet her.” She took a deep breath. “Don’t say anything now, just…remember that. When we get there,” she added, because she didn’t have it in her to start up another argument. “And I want you to try and get some rest before we land if you can.” She leaned in and pressed her lips softly to his cheek before reclining her seat a bit to try and get more comfortable.
“That’s what I do,” Scott agreed. “But I do that so none of you have to,” He added. Scott knew that if the roles were reversed, he would’ve grown wings and flown to them if he had to. Being on the other side was unbearable. He hated himself for putting the looks on all of their faces. “Ah,” Scott said, his stomach dropping to his feet when he realized just how far out of hand this had gotten. Sophie called? If Eleanor wasn’t going to kill him, then Sophie must be sharpening her knives. He wasn’t sure which was worse. “She should know better than me that this isn’t anything new. Dunno why she’d bother you with it,” He grumbled. “Once again proving me point that me honesty is a problem for you,” He said, then chuckled to himself. “Right, because these are the conditions that she’d want to—you know what?” He huffed, and put his hands up in surrender. “You got what you wanted. So let it be,” He griped, then crossed his arms. “You think I don’t know what they used to say—what they still say about her?” He spat. He felt guilty every day for not being there, for removing a piece of her armor. “This is what it’s like,” Scott replied before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted it. They got on well enough. The lights mostly stayed on, and he usually had food in his belly. He was lucky to have even that much. “Because I don’t want you to,” He countered. “That’s what I’m supposed to do,” He said, and then put a hand up before she could argue. “I just am,” He added, silently pleading for her to just let him have this one. Now, when he imagined his eternity in Hell, it was going to a whole lot like this day. “Well, you’re gonna get more of it than you’ll want to handle in about—“ He paused, looking down at this watch. “Eleven-sh hours?” He concluded. Scott was never sure how to talk about his mother. Things were easier with Ivy because she’d always known Erica. She’d grown up with a house full of Ericas. As a kid, he didn’t think Eleanor could understand. Now, it just felt too far gone to even mention. “It is,” Scott said, then heaved a heavy sigh. “Which is yet another reason why this circus didn’t need to happen,” He said confidently. “Trust me.”
“The cost of having a sexy boyfriend is that he’s gonna drive you nuts,” Isla said with a laugh. “It’s a fair trade if you ask me,” She added, then gave Eleanor’s side a little poke. “I think Scott’s gentleman enough to at least pretend that your punch really landed,” She added with a smirk. “I keep hearing all these stories about young Scott. I’m dying to figure out how to bring him to the surface,” Isla pouted. She couldn’t help but be curious about that version of Scott, the one that seemed to be a polar opposite of the one she knew. “Oh, there’s no doubt that Scotty’s intelligent,” Isla argued. “But that doesn’t mean he’s not fucking stupid,” She added with a giggle. “I mean, it’s hard to know how much of that would’ve even been true,” She agreed, shrugging. “Because it’s a who said what to them who heard this and said that to the next one, ya know?” She said. “And besides, what really matters is the person you know. So long as they’re not like—a secret evil person or whatever,” She chuckled. “I can’t say that I’m totally surprised that Scott’s so protective of his mom. He’s so protective of all of us, she must have it tenfold,” Isla said, hoping Eleanor wouldn’t get offended for her to be arguing Scott’s side. “My love, I’ve known some crazies that would’ve come in screaming and causing a scene. You kept your screams to a whisper. Didn’t even catch a glance from the people around you. That’s grace,” She laughed. “You know Scotty’s saying the same about you, right?” She teased. “Mr. And Mrs. Stubborn,” She added with a smirk. “I’m your Emotional Support Isla,” She said, puffing out her chest with pride. “It’s my job,” She grinned, then gave Eleanor a squeeze. “I already knew it before, but this just cemented it,” Isla said, and smiled dreamily between Eleanor and Scott. “You two are gonna make it. I’m an expert with these things.”
“I know it means fuck-all to her, but I can’t really see the point in all of you wasting the money and time to fly to Scotland, just to turn around and fly right back before the weekend’s through,” He said with a sigh. “This is—“ Scott paused, trying to think carefully of how he wanted to proceed. “I’m gonna get to the hospital, they’re gonna let me sign her out, and we’re gonna drop her off on our way back to the airport,” He explained. “Doesn’t even make for a holiday for you all,” He added with a sigh. “We’re ultimately going to be fine,” Scott agreed. “We’re just not thrilled with each other at the moment,” He added with a sad chuckle. “Gotta find some silver lining in you all coming,” He chuckled. He was already having a vision of Ewan knocking his and Sam’s heads together. “Oh, I’m sure you’re gonna love him,” He teased. “Life would be a hell of a lot quieter,” Scott replied with a snicker. The truth was, now that he knew he had a brother, there was no life without him. Scott would sooner travel to Hades and drag Sam back rather than live any more life without him. Not that he’d ever let Sam know. “She’s got shit taste, clearly,” Scott agreed with a laugh. “The poor lass,” He added, shaking his head. He chuckled at Sam’s look when Isla came up. He wondered if he had the same stupid look when someone brought up Eleanor. Hopefully Sam would catch up faster than he did. “It’s hard to be upset when you’re around that girl too long,” He chuckled. “Never said it was,” He said, then shook his head. “I just don’t want anyone to. I can handle it.”
As they made their way from the bar with the boys, Isla gave Sam’s arm a little squeeze to hold him back a step. “How did it go with Scott?” Isla asked quietly, keeping an eye on Eleanor and Scott to make sure that they didn’t hear. “This is all such a mess, I feel awful for the both of them,” She said with a quiet sigh. “I’m just hoping that they settle down on this flight. If not, I’m putting melatonin in both of their drinks and forcing them to relax,” She joked. “I’m excited to see this side of Scott’s life. I’m sure you must be ten times more excited,” She said, and gave Sam a little side-hug. “I’m also really excited that it might snow while we’re there. I’ve never actually seen snow before, somehow,” She chuckled. “Been everywhere but the cold-weather countries.”
Scott’s body felt like it weighed a million pounds as he dropped himself into his seat. He was starting to feel the gravity of what was really happening. On top of Eleanor’s desperation to connect with Erica, he also started to worry about Sam. If he looked too closely, he might start putting together two-and-two and start a conversation that Scott wanted to have even less than one about his mother. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. This was all more than he was prepared for. He tried not to be resentful of Erica for being the very reason that all of this started in the first place. But he learned long ago that blaming Erica got him nowhere but deeper in the hole. He was so lost in his head that he’d barely registered what Eleanor had said. “Let’s uh—“ He started, then heard the tone of her voice. He wanted to kill the guy that caused it. “Let’s just cross that bridge when we get there, okay?” He asked. “If we’ve got time before the flight home or something,” He said mindlessly. “You’re going to sleep too, right?” Scott said, then kissed Eleanor’s forehead. “I love you, Len,” Scott murmured, then put a hand on her thigh. Once Eleanor reclined, Scott leaned over to take a glance at Sam and Isla, then gave his brother a short nod. It felt so foreign to sit in a seat so lush. It might’ve been even more comfortable than the bed he’d grown up sleeping on. Though he tried to fight it, Scott felt himself starting to nod off.