I'm funny, honest @scottish-sarcasm - Tumblr Blog

business speak is a curse. earlier today I said I was really into my cities skylines era and my colleague said “we’ll circle back to that, but first i want to know your opinions on bowser’s fury”

#gaming #work tag

itv2 is the only channel in the uk not showing royal bullshit and instead are showing bob’s burgers im howling

no amount of sims vampire academy fanfic could have prepared me for the sheer level of serotonin i got from first kill

#twelve year old me absolutely LIVING for this nonsense

can’t believe people are losing their minds over the fact MCR released new music when Owl City, the creative powerhouse behind fireflies just released a Smashmouth remix in the year of our lord 2022

#owl city #music

people who are ok with twitter users descending onto tumblr might not remember what a toxic cesspool this website became for a window post-2015/6

my grandmother’s incredibly overweight dog looks like a rejected “cats” character but no one in my family understands musical theatre enough to realise why calling him “rum tum tubby” is so funny

#personal #he’s on a diet btw

finding a band you like is great and all until you listen to one of their songs and it is overwhelmingly familiar and yet you can’t place it…only for it to hit you out of the blue several hours later that it was probably something you heard in a warrior cats amv

#of course it’s fucking warrior cats

won’t someone cancel outlander and put poor sam heughan out of his misery

#please we’re both begging you

my favourite thing about tumblr is that the fellas over on reddit are overwhelmingly foaming at the mouth (derogatory) over the ol’ Oscars slap but over here there’s a joyful sense of palpable glee at yet another shenanigans

#oscars #will smith

my mum: “who’s that guy from Gotham? the police commissioner?”

me: “J—”

my mum: “James Corden!”

can’t wait to be mentally well again

#no one tell her

nothing gets me in the festive spirit like Michael Caine busting out a beautiful solo while Kermit the frog holds a gun to his head.

“stop and look aRooUnd Youuuuu”

#the muppets #the muppets Christmas Carol #actual icon

the one taylor swift song I listen to made it into the top 100 of my wrapped

penning my tearful apology as we speak

#spotify wrapped #wrapped

I took the rest of the week off work so if anyone wants me I will be spiralling alone in an unmade bed in the hours between 9AM and 5PM with the exception of Saturday at 6PM when I shall commence drinking heavily

#thoughts

i cannot stress enough how fly af I look when I roll up in my car, wearing tracksuit bottoms and sweating through my shirt, tears in my eyes and the last effervescent shreds of fear in my heart

#my learning to drive journey has really taken a good few years off of my life #I keep telling myself it’ll be worth it but I don’t think so #driving sucks and I hate it

my mother genuinely just called me outside to see the northern lights and my garbage-ass stuck in 2018 immediately thought of steamed hams

and this is my official letter of resignation from being alive forever I’d like to opt out

#patented skinner burgers old family recipe

scottish people really call you “pal” with an aggressively threatening aura

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I'm funny, honest