Today, I want to talk about something emotional that my mom told me about. While we talked about why my dad couldn’t retire yet, she started talking about how she felt really bad that she could no longer uphold her share of making money, which is why she started getting into stocks. She felt bad that she couldn’t time entries and exits as well as my dad or I, and that’s why she’s constantly asking me for help and advice. She wants to use this as a way to make money, to help support my dad. She talked about how, through her life, my dad has always been there for her, and how, as they got older, their relationship actually got better. She always looks around to other family members arguing and had realized: so what if they have money? The most important thing, the one thing we have that they don’t, is truly loving each other. What both fear most is the other dying first. In the cacophony of a world, they have each other, and they cling on for dear life. If the other is there, they will be fine.
She talked about wanting to leave a house for me – wanting me to have two houses so, no matter what, I won’t be homeless. She told me about the times when my dad’s parents kicked them out of the house they helped pay for. They walked along the streets, looking at the warm lights emanating from the windows.
Imagine being kicked out of your house, being pregnant with your child (me), and not having a permanent home to live in. Imagine walking down a street on a cold day, just staring at the happy families inside the warm, cozy houses, knowing that you do not have that. Imagine the uncertain future, the loathing and feeling of unluckiness, and the torrential sadness that must come with it. At that time, the only thing that matters to you is having a home.
This is what she never wants me to feel.
Through all of this, through all the hardships, through the arguments, and through everything else, my parents have developed an extremely strong bond, only strengthened over time and going into old age. They may argue. They may disagree on things. They have may different views and beliefs sometimes. But the main point is, they love each other – that is enough, that is all they can ask for.
I realized an important truth – I may think I know more about stocks, about the current world, about science and mathematics, but I’ll never match the wisdom that my parents have gained over the years, their understanding of morality in the world and of happiness and sadness. Those are some of the most powerful things to understand.
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