in fact, I don’t care whether anyone sees it or not, in the end I’m just a stranger on the Internet, I have the right to write what I want and what I think about.
I'm so offended that people have friends, real friends! I have one friend - my favorite person. in fact he is the best we know, he is always kind to us and mentors us all, I love him so much.
but in the end, it annoys me that people are never honest with us, I always feel sad around them, as if I’m always the odd one out. but that’s not the point, over the last week I seem to have lost faith in everything and my thoughts are actually destructive. I hate that I'm stuck in this body that's not even for me, but at another moment I don't feel anything anymore. It's so hard for me to describe how I feel. there are so many emotions and it hurts. it really hurts me. although no, it doesn’t hurt so much as I’m lost.
during this day I found solace in the group Fall Out Boy, I listen to their songs and I feel better, at least a little.
In general, I'm so upset about all this, I'm upset about who I am. but it pisses me off when many people think that a scout should always be so cheerful and cool. guys, my life is falling apart at the seams, my head hurts. Every day I think about how I lived through it all.
the place where the body is now is a hostel and there are strange people here and I can say I don’t even know them, from the moment we met them I pretended to be super funny! I hate it! Now I'm angry because sometimes they say toxic things about me. others scolded me for being so open with them.
yes, of course, as if the spy didn’t do that. he was open with a group of people, he still suffers because they did not become his friends. I'm sorry, he also blames himself for his unprofessionalism in this, that he was stupid and all that.
I don't like that we are so naive and I don't like feeling bad, guys, it's terrible
