still down bad for these pixel men

She/Her | BG3 trash | NSFW/18+ | I’m Sorry

[scrapsovereign]

Welcome to my Sin Bin™️

Fanfiction

AO3 profile here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrapSovereign

Ongoing Series:

The Long Way Down on AO3 - Tav/Astarion/Gale love triangle. Tav is an elven ranger with a past she doesn't much care to remember, and is interested even less in romance on the road until she's squidinapped one day...

Features "Buzzkill Notes from the Author" including evidence-based links on references.

That One Time I Got Kidnapped By An Evil Vampire Lord on AO3

Pairings- Astarion x Female! Original Character (OC), past Astarion x Male! Tav.

Mackenzie’s week is going to end like a country song. Things couldn’t get any worse. She thinks they’re starting to look up when a handsome stranger waltzes into her life, but didn’t expect him to take her wish to start over so literally…

(Smut chapters marked with a *, rating and tags to change as the story updates/gets worse)

Short Series:

I Think He Knows Part 1 | Part 2 - Smutty Astarion/Reader series set immediately before Astarion was turned by Cazador.

AO3 Link

Obedience Brings Blessings Part 1 | Part 2 - An excuse to write Ascended Astarion/Professor Gale/Grand Duchess Tav filth...with tentacles.

AO3 Link

Remediation Part 1 - Astarion/Dalyria smut. Astarion is tasked by Cazador to teach Dalyria the way things are done around the Szarr palace on a tight deadline.

AO3 Link

One Shots:

Ready, Aim, Fire - When Gale recounts how he became proficient with ranged weapons, he's going to have quite the salacious story to tell about how he learned from Astarion's "hands-on" teaching style. (NSFW, 1.8k words, Astarion x Gale)

AO3 Link

Interactive Fics:

“I Have Standards”: A Choose Your Own Adventure Smut Fic - (In Progress) NSFW. Astarion rejects you after defeating the Goblin Camp, so you seek out a certain wizard to make him realize what he's missing out on...

Pairings: Astarion x F!Tav, Gale x F!Tav, Astarion x Gale x F!Tav

[tooquirkytolose]

Stuck at work at my bullshit job where I make money to pay bills when I should be home in bed watching my gay vampires go through it 🫩

[mucmucvi]

[yodaprod]

Morris the cat at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer office, Seattle (1981)

Source: Seattle Museum of History & industry

[forestgirl19]

She’s so funny! I LOVE HER😆

[songsomi]

Gone with the weave...

[perpetualmaladaptivedaydream]

Oh while I’m at it, here’s the entire party (minus Ellie because she was busy talking to Nettie). Forgot about these until this morning…but I sure do love a mean mug 🫠

[swordmaid]

☀️🪻 gale/tav commisssion for @culurienvasa

based on La Belle Dam Sans Merci by Frank Bernard Dicksee

[vamplire]

a vampire stroking ur [REDACTED] as they’re fangs deep in ur neck. u agree

[nyx-knox]

✍🏻 nyx-knox’s BG3 portrait series

Parts 1-4: [🌙 Shadowheart | 🐉 Lae’zel | 🔮 Gale | 🛡️ Wyll]

Parts 5-8: [❤️‍🔥 Karlach | 🐻 Halsin | ⚡️ Evelyn | 🩸 Astarion]

[theimportanceofbeingbunbury]

we all know that astarion has the curse of being the evil-aligned/anti-hero archetype and the fandom treating him like some delicate innocent. that’s just something that happens in fandom spaces. it’s been happening for years. there’s nothing we can do. yes i know i get it.

but what really gets under my skin more than the deliberate mischaracterization of such an intricate and cool character is the fact that sometimes the community literally sacrifices his sense of humor. which astounds me because his sense of humor is what initially made players invested in who he was as a character!

he always has something funny to say— even if it’s only funny to him. he laughs at his own jokes and he gets defensive and butthurt if you make jokes at his expense. he is a hypocrite. he is hilarious.

less of him being like this tradhusband/untouchable figurehead of goodness and more of him being flawed and funny. cancel me idgaf i love canon astarion.

[funnyao3tags]

HA! loser

If you're curious about the fic here it is

[scrapsovereign]

Said loser in question:

[vetochkarowan]

commission for wonderful @zombrigit 🖤

[nectarbloodburgeon]

Stephen Rooney's favorite pairing for Astarion is Karlach, by the way

[cinder-rellish181]

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me!

[mutualcombat]

sick of this dude. smug aura mocking me and shit

[longstoryshort-143]

the horrors persist but so do books, art, hot chocolate, winter nights, the moon, the sea, the stars, sunsets, literature, libraries, cats, flowers, stories, love and the wistful feeling you get when you finally return home

[scrapsovereign]

Benefits Of Bringing Your Vampire Elf Boyfriend to Ren Faire

(I owe part of this to @chaushaus ‘ “A Striking Resemblance” and also going to Egils last weekend in Adiantum)

- He’ll complain he’s not made for manual labor and pout if he breaks a nail, but honestly you’ve never had camp up and functional so fast. Just his strength alone is like having three people help you.

- He’s already made friends with your friends, chain smoking with them, gossiping and trading stories in one of those $20 camping bucket chairs.

- Don’t feel like having a conversation and you’re looking for an out? He’ll interrupt and say how terribly sorry he is, your attention is urgently needed elsewhere. The urgent need = he wants $50 to give to the lovely lady on merchants row who’s holding some silks for him to purchase.

- He’s the hottest person there and he’s having a fantastic time preening and absorbing the attention and hanging on your arm.

- “Oh what’s this? An archery range? Might I try my hand at firing your fine weapon, my lady? Could you believe it, three bullseyes in a row??”

- Wandering around site with him after dark, his chin resting on you watching the fire dancers, wandering around to the different fires and watching the perverse fascination bloom on his face as he takes in the debauchery after dusk.

- It’s way too hot outside and you’re melting? He’ll help you cool down inside and out, you’ll just have to stay quiet, darling. You can do that for him, can’t you? You know you can’t but it’s fine, they’re all at court anyways…😏😏😏

- Locked your keys in the car on the last day by accident? He did something with a couple of bobby pins and got the lock open, you’re not even going to ask how.