painted dreams.

a writer and a dreamer. stars are the light in the dark.

[limespray]

have you ever sat with your friends and just known that you’re the least important friend in the group and you feel like it wouldn’t make a difference whether you were there or not

[killianjonesaf]

WOMEN’S MARCH 1-21-2017 | A GLOBAL MOVEMENT

[wnq-anonymous]

Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about if you loved me you would.

Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation (via wordsnquotes)

[inkskinned]

i. you don’t tell her about the briar patch of your bloodstream because tonight she is mourning the end of her first relationship. so you don’t mention it.   ii. well, you would have told him, but he is dealing with the divorce of his parents and you’re good at listening and he’s really sweet for letting you try to help him.   iii. all these broken pieces would just hurt somebody to clean up so it’s better to stay silent than to admit your howling violence.   iv. if the darkness swallows you, who would even notice?   v. you would have told her. you would have told her. she’s so nice. she said she wants to help you.   vi. well, you would have. but isn’t that manipulative?   vii. you are so good at caring for others and keeping all your wounds covered. you are so good at drowning quietly, you’ve made it into an art. you are so good and you’re falling apart.

You think of other people and never share your troubles, even if all the while it’s killing you inside. // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[mindofamedstudent]

On stress and motivation

There are quite a lot of people who are on study leave and have finals coming up right now. It’s that time again when a semester is ending and people start hating on final exams or submissions. It’s understandable, high school and college students are under stress.I don’t hate this time of the year. I won’t say I’m not completely bothered by the fact that I have less time for my hobbies though. But the only time I’d hate study leave or preparing for finals is if I were doing something I didn’t love.

I hear people around me saying they want to be doctors, engineers, designers, lawyers… they talk about how much they want a career and what they aspire to be. I don’t hear many of them talking about the process though. They love what they want to do but I’m not so sure they love the means of getting there. I used to be like that too, but due to events in my life that encouraged me to try to enjoy the present; I’m not anymore.

I started to make the most of my days, telling myself that I should love spending hours studying because I love learning and telling myself that I’m privileged to have this education. People look at me weird when it’s summer and I say I’m nostalgic for my late-night study sessions. It’s true though, I’m happy learning about a disease then linking it to some concept in physiology I know. I get excited when I guess clinical correlations while I’m studying anatomy. I’ll raise my hand up and cheer for myself! 

Amidst the stress of trying to get to where you want to be, and worrying about the consequences if you don’t; you sometimes start to feel like studying or working for something is a chore. Our view of stress could also make us burn out. Being a person whose had a lot of anxiety, I can say from experience that stress is sometimes inevitable but is always manageable. I listened to a TED talk about this and it brought about this paradigm shift that helped me a lot. I think people should start utilizing stress, turning it into motivation and letting it drive them.

Moral of the story: don’t let stress make you hate the process of getting to where you want to be. Fitness fanatics are always saying things like “it doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger” or “fall in love with the process” and I think this applies to much more in life. In life, we count the results as the accomplishments but we don’t always treat every step of the way as an accomplishment. We’re so preoccupied by the results that we stress ourselves out during the process.

If you woke up today and studied something, that’s an accomplishment. If you made an outline for that essay, it’s an accomplishment. If you enriched your mind in some way, it’s an accomplishment. So be happy about that! Be proud! Love your dream job and what it takes for you to get it.

Stay inspired, stay motivated and happy studying! :)

[thelovejournals]

I have a habit of falling in love with souls who have yet to be at peace with their bodies, their minds, their weaknesses. I try to build them, to find the parts of them that are missing in me. I end up with holes in my chest.

Farah Gabdon (via wordsnquotes)

[inkskinned]

It is a strange time to come back. The house is warm and you used to be excited. Now you’re tired. Just weary of even good things. When something is temporary like a holiday you learn not to hold onto it too tightly. You learn that the best thing is to be pleasantly surprised while bracing for the worst. So you never really get excited anymore. It’s a strange time to be alive and somehow feeling nothing. The absence always feels louder when you’re expecting happy. When it used to be good. When numbness didn’t overshadow everything in your reach. When stuff was still good.

[poems-and-words]

[inkmagician]

have you ever wanted something so badly it felt like your lungs were collapsing. like the need was so sharp you were folding in on yourself. like maybe your heart had the choice to stay quiet or to break itself chasing the light and it chose self-destruction.

— a.c. | note to self #15

[poems-and-words]

[thequotejournals]

Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears.

Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram (via wnq-anonymous)

[quotemadness]

I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.

Mark Haddon (via quotemadness)

[alexdanversdaily]

People just have to figure out what works for them. Who they are inside. What they’re meant to be.

Alex Danvers (via alexdanversdaily)

[wnq-writers]

Do I miss you because I’m sad or am I sad because I miss you?

untitledadolescent  (via wordsnquotes)

[inkskinned]

we were out with the leaves and i said can we make a pile and jump in it and you said, if we have to. and i said okay we can, i don’t know, set it on fire instead. you sighed and told me to stop being stupid. i couldn’t choke out that i was joking. i just stood there and looked at my breath.

it’s a nice day for it, i said. a pumpkin cocoa kind of day. 

you rolled your eyes. just hurry up, you said, i’m tired.

it’s just, i said. but i couldn’t get any further because i realized the world isn’t as romantic as i want it to be. that where i saw lipstick reds and passion oranges you just saw leaves. 

it’s just what? you sighed, what is it this time?

i shuffled my feet. don’t worry, i said, it’s nothing.

[thelovejournals]

I used to say I’d know you anywhere, but it’s getting harder.

Margaret Atwood, “Shapechangers in Winter”, Morning in the Burned House  (via wordsnquotes)

[sapphicsanvers]

— AND YOU KNOW HEROES MAKE THE BEST LEGENDS // K.S.