Thank God vodka is vegan @scrumptious-eggy - Tumblr Blog

curioscurio

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

birdsagainsthumanity

inthesensethat-deactivated20240

nerdygaymormon

daily-spooky

rickybabyboy

Can you hear my powerful roar?

hooray4skeleton

rickybabyboy

A

warningsine

highlighteretcigarettes

noiivvern

derinthescarletpescatarian

headspace-hotel

Whenever you find yourself in a situation of difficulty that makes you feel foolish and stupid, like if you lose your phone charger or forget an important appointment, or entirely forget when the War of 1812 took place, or beat meringue a little too far past the point of forming stiff peaks, or spill a glass of water in your lap in the precise way so as to make it appear like you peed your pants right as your crush is about to walk past, just think to yourself:

"At least I have the presence of mind not to think that carrots have too much sugar."

thetrashiestoftrash

I think it's important context that this comment was on a recipe for carrot cake. They replaced the carrots in a carrot cake with kale, because carrots have too much sugar, for a carrot cake, a dessert in which carrots provide the primary structure and flavor. Carrot. Cake.

cinemacrypt

Trans people need to start naming themselves like puritans but like the other way. I need to start hanging out with bitches named Contempt and Decadence and Heresy

elvensaber

Sometimes corporate speak is good. For example, Space X calling their rocket explosion a “rapid unscheduled disassembly” is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week