Nerdy Gay Mormon

I live in Florida, work at a university, am a Mormon...oh, and I'm gay

[nerdygaymormon]

you know that even if you're gay that by being in church leadership and encouraging people to remain in the church you're complicit in the psychological torture of children right

I accept that remaining in a church that actively promotes homophobia & transphobia is a form of passive complicity. From an outside perspective, my presence can be seen as tacit approval of the church's teachings and I am part of a community that creates an unsafe environment for queer individuals.

I'm not silently standing by as harmful policies are enacted, I challenge the homophobic & transphobic teachings and attitudes. Also, unlike your accusation, I don't encourage gay people to remain. Most of my queer friends have left this church and I'm happy for them. As for me being in "church leadership," I'm a secretary, I have no authority other than being able to share my viewpoint in meetings when leaders council together.

I don't think that abandoning spaces entirely to homophobes is beneficial to vulnerable members, particularly those who are young & required to attend or who are in the closet. I provide an alternative viewpoint and an affirming voice.

I admit that there is a cost to leaving which is high as it would damage ties with my family and friends, and would also mean abandoning my cultural upbringing. But also, I've paid a high price for being in this church, I've had many mental health issues because of it and am still dealing with the effects.

It's easy to stand on the outside and make judgements, I'm glad it seems simple to you. You're not the one who has to deal with the costs of staying or leaving. I do weigh the personal costs of staying versus the benefits, and whether the difference I can make as an insider is outweighed by the passive complicity.

It's fine to disagree with my decision to be here, and it's fine to point out the problematic aspects of my being in this church. I hope my response gives some understanding of my choices.

[studentlifeproblems]

[rarebird22]

One of the Night Vale First Ward's favorite congregational hymns is #255B, "Carrion". While it sounds nearly identical to hymn #255, Night Vale's members know that theirs carries a slightly different message. And what exactly is that message, you ask? Some say the song is a reference to Israel's blessing of dead quail in the wilderness. Others see the song as a way to let the ward's actual carrion feeders know they are welcome. The one thing everyone can agree on, however, is that it's always a joy to sing about the dead things we find in the desert.

[mormonmonastery]

And we hear the buzzard singing: Carrion! Carrion! Carrion!

Flesh and guts with maggots oozing: Carrion! Carrion! Carrion!

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

Hey quick question how are you chill paying tithing when the church uses it to fund queer genocide through conversion therapy? Like genuinely curious how you square that circle

Paying tithing to the LDS Church is a thing that I've wrestled with many times over the decades.

Before 2015, for many years I did not pay any tithing because I refused to donate to a church which used its funds to fight against equal rights for gay people. Once the Supreme Court made gay marriage the law of the land and the LDS Church stepped back from telling people to vote against legal protections for gay people, I then revisited whether to pay tithing.

Why would I pay tithing to the LDS Church? Most of what those funds are used for are things like paying for the building and utilities, for supplies, for youth activities, for education. Also, the LDS Church has a large network of food assistance to help people during times of financial hardship. Another reason is that paying a tithe lets me serve in positions which put me in situations I can voice my queer perspective. I don't get to direct how the tithing donation will be spent, so yes, it's something I struggle with, but if I'm still part of this organization then I want to use my voice to influence it to do better.

There are times I have paid tithing to the LDS Church and also made what I think of as an offsetting donation to other organizations. Sometimes I paid tithing to a different church or to non-profits, somewhere it will be used for purposes like feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the vulnerable.

Since it's related to your question, yes, the LDS Church and BYU have a horrible history in regards to conversion therapy. They are responsible for much harm and even deaths.

We should also point out that the LDS Church announced in 2019 that it opposes conversion therapy and its therapists no longer practice it. In 2020, after negotiations with LDS Church leaders, LGBTQ leaders in Utah, and Utah lawmakers, a compromise was reached to pass a state law banning licensed therapists from practicing conversion therapy on minors in Utah.

I wish the 2020 Utah law outright banned conversion therapy as it does extreme harm, and unfortunately this law doesn't stop people who aren't licensed therapists, like pastors or life coaches, from continuing to sell this snake oil to desperate people, but still it's a strong move in the right direction and was supported by the LDS Church.

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

Gender is like a sandwich

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

[amethystmoons]

I've written a poem based on my experiences as a queer mormon.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you for reading. I hope this resonates with you.

[gahdamnpunk]

I’m just now finding out Anne Frank was bi??? OMG

[luanna801]

Yeah okay, those edits were made by her dad, a cishet person - and also her dad, a Holocaust survivor, who would have been brutally aware that when the diary was first published in freakin’ 1947, had he included anything which people could use to demonize his daughter or tar her as some kind of “pervert”, it would prevent the message he was trying to send about the horrors of the Holocaust and the heroism of his daughter from being properly understood and accepted the way he hoped.

That isn’t fair. It isn’t just. But it is reality. If Otto Frank had let this be included in the published version, there’s a large chance the homophobic backlash would have prevented the book from reaching the audience it did and spreading the message it needed to. It was NINETEEN. FORTY. SEVEN. The Holocaust had ended TWO YEARS AGO. The acceptance of LGBT identities was basically nonexistent. Otto Frank made a decision based on the time and place he was living in, about what the world at that time was and wasn’t ready to accept. 

Let me say this as bluntly as I can - I am a bisexual Jewish girl and I would have made the same decision Otto Frank did. Making sure Anne Frank was unambiguously seen as sympathic and heroic was more important. Making sure people weren’t sidetracked from the main issue of the Holocaust was more important. He shouldn’t have had to make that decision, without doubt. Anne Frank’s sexuality (however she would have identified in modern terms) shouldn’t be considered relevant to her status as a hero or a sympathetic victim. But in 1947, it undoubtedly would have been.

Otto Frank survived Auschwitz and lost his entire family (a wife and two teenage daughters) to the horrors of the Holocaust. He hoped that publishing his daughter’s diary would spread awareness and sympathy for the victims of the Holocaust. If he had to make sacrifices to do that - well frankly, so fucking be it. I don’t know who alive today has the right to judge him. 

[queenofthefaces]

Let’s also look at this thread from a queer Jewish person who brings up the fact that ANNE FRANK EDITED HER DIARY HERSELF

[fagraklett]

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.

[jeremyyyallan]

get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

[nerdygaymormon]