A Chapter of My Fate

Welcome to the pages of my life.

[scuanias]

My love,

I tried so hard to stay.

[scuanias]

My love,

Please remember the good days. Bury with me all the pain and bitter days.

[scuanias]

My Love,

If I ended up losing, will you hate me for the rest of your life?

[scuanias]

Sometimes you stumble upon a puddle and you thank the heavens that you were saved because it’s shallow.

As soon as you started to lift yourself up, you started sink. The more you tried to move quickly, the faster it pulls you down. You stayed still until it stopped stirring.

You called for help and slowly reached for a wooden branch. You slowly pulled yourself up. But the branch is just a harden muck and it played your mind into thinking that it will save you.

It was dissolved and you lost your footing and flailed around the pit. You fell face-forward. Now you’re on your knees. Covered with dirt and shame and you accepted it all.

The muck on your body becomes heavy. Life gave you that cycle everyday. The muck on you dried up and it weighed double each day. Every time it rains, more muck gets on you and slaps you on the face to remind you that you failed.

You carry yourself from going beneath the pit while carrying the weight of all the memories of the days when the muck got stuck upon you.

You started to forget about the heavens. The muck thickened on your mouth that it’s useless now to call for help.

You just stopped moving and grabbing onto things that could lead you up to safety. You just suddenly wait for your arms to fail you.

[scuanias]

We would’ve gotten past this bump on the road but I guess it’s bigger than what we can overcome. We’ve been running in circles that we ended up forgetting where we came from.

[scuanias]

Page 93 of 2019

I found my way because your light found me stranded in the middle of a storm, floating against the current, hugging for dear life to a broken log, which just pulls me down sinking deeper into oblivion.

[scuanias]

Page 92 of 2019

You don’t deserve to be hurt twice by the same person.

[scuanias]

Page 90 of 2019

Nung una akala ko hindi lang talaga ako makatulog, yun pala takot ako matulog dahil baka paggising ko wala ka na.

[scuanias]

Page 91 of 2019

I’ve been holding on to a single memory of you; the day I realized that I lost you.

[scuanias]

Page 89 of 2019

Sa wakas...

Isa ka na lamang alaala sa isang malagim na bangungot.

[scuanias]

Page 88 of 2019

Kailangan na kitang kalimutan kasi ako nalang ang naiwan sa ating kaharian.

Hindi ko namalayan na tumakbo na pala ang oras ng ating nakaraan.

Sinisi ko pa ang sarili ko dahil baka kailangan mo lamang ng kaunting espasyo.

Hinintay kita pero iba pala ang pinupuntahan mo.

Oras lamang ang tanging hiling ko kasi buhay ko na ang winawasak ko para sayo.

Sabi mo tanga ako kasi naniwala ako sa iyong mga palusot.

Kung nagmatigas naman ako tatawagin mo akong praning at salot.

Ang hirap sa’yo madami kang alas na hawak sa akin, pero takot ka magdesisyon kung sino ang iyong pipiliin.

Hindi mo kina-angat ng pagkatao ang paglalaro sa aking damdamin, dahil darating din ang araw maiiwan ka mag-isa bitbit ang iyong mga hangarin.

[scuanias]

Page 87 of 2019

Minsan may mga taong kailangan mo nang tigilan dahil matagal ka naman na nilang iniwan.

[scuanias]

Page 86 of 2019

Kahit bilang kaibigan nalang sana...

[scuanias]

Page 85.2 of 2019

Napapagod kakahintay kung may matatanggap pa bang mensahe galing sa’yo.

Napapagod kakaisip kung mahalaga pa ba ako.

Napapagod magpagamit upang maramdaman ko lamang, kahit sandali, na kailangan mo ako.

[scuanias]

Page 84 of 2019

“He had me at his convenience. ‘Pag pwede sya, gagawa ako ng paraan para makita siya. ‘Pag pwede ako, kailangan ko maghintay kung libre siya.”

[scuanias]

Page 85 of 2019

Minsan hindi naman ako pagod dahil sa trabaho, napapagod ako kakahintay sa tawag mo.

Hindi ko naman kailangan malaman kung gaano ka kagaling makipag-usap sa tao, mas importante sa akin kung naiisip mo ba ako sa mga sandaling nakatitig ka sa kawalan, malayo sa iyong trabaho.

[scuanias]

Page 83 of 2019

Not everyone that matters to you is the one for you.

Love the one who you think about every minute, not because they make you feel less alone at night.

Love the one who remembers you all the time, not those who let you chase them and long for his attention.