Shaken: A Pre-X-Files Fic
Shaken: A Pre-X-Files Fic
Author: scully-eats-sushi
Rating: PG (but please don’t let that stop you from reading!)
A/N: I was inspired to write this by a request from @cryptidneet, referencing this post here, about a deleted scene from Demons (4x23): https://dunhamhairograpy.tumblr.com/post/168263757382/deleted-scene-demons-mrs-mulder-and-scully-that. Also tagging @today-in-fic. This is a little bit on the sadder side. Angst is a really hard one for me to write, apparently.
Trigger warning (no pun intended) for epilepsy/seizure disorder.
“Fox, can you please help me build this? Fox?” Samantha glanced over at her older brother from her spot on the carpet, a pile of legos at her feet. He was ignoring her again. She poked him on the arm. “Fox! Please help me! Can you stop watching T.V. right now?…Fox! You always do this!” she huffed. The five-year-old sighed, hauling herself up onto her feet. She stormed off, walking through the kitchen and dining room before she found her mother in the salon, reading a ladies’ magazine and sipping something that was light green in color and had ice cubes in it.
“Mommy, Fox is ignoring me again. He won’t help me. And I asked nicely.”
Without glancing up from her magazine, Teena Mulder replied, “Samantha, darling, sometimes boys can be like that. Especially with their little sisters.” Or their wives. “Why don’t you go outside and play instead?”
With a sad look on her face, Samantha replied, “But Mommy, I already played outside with Katherine today. I want to build the lego castle that I saw in that picture. I know I could do it with some help.”
Trying to keep a look of annoyance off her face, her mother glanced up at her daughter. “So try asking Fox again. Or just do your best by yourself.”
Dejected, Samantha returned to the family room. At hearing her footsteps, her brother looked up at her.
“Hey, Twerp. Where ya been?”
“Fox, I asked you to help me with my legos and you didn’t say anything. You just stared at the T.V.”
“No, you didn’t, Sam. I didn’t hear you say anything like that.”
“Fo-ox, yes I did. Don’t lie! Can you help me with that castle, please?”
"Okay, okay, fine, Squirt,” he grumbled. Little sisters were so annoying. “Show me the picture.” Sensing his disdain, she shot him a glare. But they silently agreed on a truce and both turned to their task. The lego castle was finished before they were called for dinner.
ii. March 1972.
Samantha sat chatting with her mother at dinner while her father, seated at the other end of the table, was occupied speaking to a tall man she had never seen before. She glanced to her right at the man, but quickly looked back toward her mother. She knew only that she did not like that man very much. There was something about his eyes and his mouth that made him look mean–no, sinister. She had just learned that word, and it seemed to fit him. Besides, he stunk like too many yucky cigarettes. Her father only really smoked cigars sometimes so he usually didn’t smell like that man who was over for dinner.
Samantha suddenly noticed that Fox was no longer speaking. He was currently staring at nothing as far as she could tell. She watched him, wondering why he was so quiet. He was usually very talkative, especially when there were other adults at the table. Sometimes he was so curious that it upset their father.
Her mother interrupted the little girl’s thoughts. “Bill, can I have the casserole, please?” asked Teena Mulder.
Without looking up from his conversation, Bill Mulder picked up the casserole dish and held it out for his son to take. “Fox, pass this to your mother.”
When there was no response and the dish hadn’t been taken from his hand, Bill turned to his son. “Fox. Fox! Look at me, boy!”
By now all attention was on Fox, who sat motionless.
Teena glanced back toward the other side of the table, her eyes meeting those of the man seated there. She nervously bit her lip, then looked at her husband.
“Maybe there’s something wrong with him, Bill.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the boy, Teena. He’s not paying attention. His teacher called to say that he has been staring off into space when he should be listening to her, didn’t she?”
Samantha’s attention returned to the strange man as he silently watched Fox.
She noticed that he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and brought it to his lips before he seemed to decide not to light it at the table.
iii. June 1973.
A scream echoed through the house. Teena Mulder hurried out of her bedroom and down the stairs to the family room, where she had earlier left her children reading.
“Mommy, Mommy, Fox fell down. Look at him!”
Teena gasped at the sight of her son on the floor. His arms and legs were shaking and his eyes were blinking rapidly. “Fox, oh my baby. Fox, do you hear me?” She held him down, continuing to yell his name loudly. There was no response. Noticing the blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth, she screamed, “Samantha, call 911!”
Samantha ran to grab the phone off the kitchen wall and dialed. In her fear, she didn’t remember what she told the woman on the phone.
iv. May 1997.
Mulder sat behind his desk, looking down at his file. He had only just returned to work. He felt her eyes on him, and looked up at his partner.
“What is it, Scully?” he asked gently.
“Mulder,” she sighed. “When I spoke with your mother, she mentioned that you had had seizures as a child. Petit mal, what we call ‘absence seizures’ now. That’s not in your medical file. Why didn’t you tell me before?"
"My parents and I didn’t know I was having them until I actually had my first grand mal seizure and I was taken to the hospital. That was when my mother learned that I had been having other symptoms. I guess my mother didn’t want to tell you that the seizures progressed. It’s probably embarrassing to her.”
Scully heard the note of irony and sarcasm in his voice.
“Anyway, it was getting worse that last year before…Sam.” He looked up at the ceiling, gathering his thoughts. “They never came back, later. So I never said anything. It’s not relevant.”
He looked up to see the sad look in her eyes. He couldn’t take her pity and didn’t want her sympathy right now.
“Forget it, Scully. It’s over.” He looked up at her, the corner of his mouth turned up in a small, sad smile. “How are you feeling?"
Mulder helped Scully into her apartment, following her closely as she walked gingerly.
"Do you need me to stay with you, Scully? Do you think that there’s any danger for you? More seizures?”
The care in his eyes, in his voice, broke her. She turned into him and he held her while she cried.
“I guess now we have something else in common, Mulder. I now know what it feels like after having a seizure.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Yes, but I was never in a car accident after one, Scully,” he said, with a touch of dark humor. She let out a small laugh through her tears.
“Will you stay here tonight?”
“Of course I will,” he responded. There was never any question.
–
Additional author’s notes (sorry, it’s long): I don’t know if the “extra-canon” idea of Mulder having epilepsy as a child has been explored before in fanfic; I haven’t seen it before. In the original script for Demons, Mrs. Mulder mentions in an off-hand way to Scully that he had “petit mal seizures” as a child. Today, these are referred to as “absence seizures” and are characterized by symptoms such as staring off into space, subtle uncontrolled movements, and temporary loss of awareness/consciousness. I also chose to describe that young Mulder progressed to having “tonic-clonic seizures” (what was previously referred to as “grand mal seizures”). This is the type of epilepsy usually pictured when people think of seizures: convulsions, uncontrolled seizing up of the limbs, falling if they’re upright, complete loss of consciousness followed by periods of sleep or lethargy, unconscious biting down on the ends of one’s tongue leading to blood dribbling out of the mouth. I had to do a little bit of research on this topic, and I tried to make the family reaction realistic for the early 1970s, and for what we know of the Mulders. Nowadays, in many cases epilepsy can be controlled with medication, and many people like marijuana for epilepsy, of course.
Note: I wrote that Teena Mulder held her son down. Please do not hold anyone down if they’re having a seizure. Just make sure there is no immediate danger around them. If possible, move items away from them and do not move the victim. Make sure they don’t fall into something, but aside from that, keep physical distance.
Why Mulder stopped having seizures after age 12 (again, that came from the original script) is an interesting thought to ponder… Sometimes that can just happen, but how much do we believe in coincidence?
The idea from Cryptidneet for this little story spoke to me, probably because (as a few of you know) one of my kids is epileptic and he has had a few instances of tonic-clonic seizure clusters, consisting of several long seizures over a period of a few hours, over the last 3.5 years. His epilepsy is generally well controlled on medication. However, his last set of seizures was in early June, and his doctor determined the dosage he had been on was too low. It happened on the eve of what would have been our black belt test, which made the experience doubly emotional and painful, not least because he’s also autistic and he (we both) felt the disappointment very deeply for a long time. (The black belt test is now scheduled for one month from now, in early September.) I will never forget the kindness of a few friends who kept me virtual company while I was with him in the hospital and not able to speak with my husband, who was 3000 miles away and didn’t know what was happening at the time.
@cryptidneet, I don’t know if this is at all what you were looking for. But I hope you like it, even though I’m by far not one of the best authors in this fandom.
P.S. I had another prompt from another lovely friend and I’m sorry that the writing for that just hasn’t come to me yet! I will try my best to get my head around it at some point in the foreseeable future.
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