Absurd Fickle Ramblings

personal blog where i put all of my unnecessary feelings

[ageofadnaloy]

I will never let you fall 

I’ll stand up with you forever

 I’ll be there for you through it all

(Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

[starkwest-deactivated20220727]

At the end. When Cap has Tony on his back. When he has ripped the helmet off and exposed the bleeding mess of Tony’s face. When he lifts the shield for the killing blow. When Tony raises his hands to protect himself.

Tony still has power.

And his hands are free.

Bucky may have attempted to remove the arc but he didn’t fully succeed and those repulsors are live. Cap is so blind with rage he doesn’t even register Tony raising his hands.

And yet, Tony doesn’t fire. He has the perfect shot.

And he doesn’t fire.

Tony Stark is many things. Has been called many things and many of them are true. He isn’t infallible. He is human. But he is always, always loyal to his family. Tony may be a link to the past for Steve through Howard but that also rums the other way. Tony has no living blood family. His family is what he has made for himself and this man, the man above him ready to bring down the weapon Tony’s own father made for him onto his son’s chest to kill him, is the closest family Tony has.

Irregardless of his history with the legend of Captain America and the scars it left on his childhood, Tony took Steve into his own home. He fought back to back with him, lived with him, bled with him and grieved with him. This man became his brother in both battle and life. His family. And Tony Stark will never, ever turn on his family. 

Even when they turn on him.

**

[seanstarkk-blog]

Appreciation #2

So, Jam. Thank you for that encouragement. I never thought you’d say those words, and the idea of you believing in me is a huge tearjerker in my heart. Thank you for those kindness in the middle of a 2AM moments. I don’t know, it made me happy when you talk to me that way, and somehow sad. The reason. I can’t tell, because I don’t know how. But one thing is for sure, you’re a great and kindhearted person  that ever existed. Sorry too, if I can’t do the same to you when you’re feeling down, because I also don’’t know how to and it feels like I’ll be just a burden, let alone your best friend do that for me I guess? Since she has more right to that than me. But for now, I’m okay with that though, you talking to me in some days. Thank you for that. Couldn’t ask for more haha 

PS. I still have a crush on you, I’m just keeping it subtle now because I don’t want to fall too hard. 

[seanstarkk-blog]

Appreciation #1

So I just want to say thank you to Wrenz. Earlier, I’m in a huge conundrum, like I don’t know what to do. Too much emotions and less thoughts, so I don’t know how will I deal with it. But thanks to this awesome young man, I somehow been lifted up from that quicksand I’m in. Though I know there’s a small chance that you’ll be able to read this, but thank you so much. We may not know each other for years, but you really said those words with huge impact to me; also knowing that you guys really care enough, I think that was sufficient to me. I hope you guys won’t get tired of me. 

[seanstarkk-blog]

Pre-Planning

So I’m thinking of doing a novelization for Warren from X-Men, commonly known as Angel. I don’t know, I have this kind of connection to him that I would really like to write, though it sounds cliche since there are tons of YA Novels about Angels. But I want this to be different, since he’s a mutant and not a fallen angel. I know I can do this different. But I’m just thinking, so if I have that right will and right mind and if there’s a bit creativeness plunged in, I may write it. Probably soon. 

[supermantojusticeleague]

[seanstarkk-blog]

Leaving, is another thing

but living is what we're here for. 

They influenced me greatly to see

the things beyond. 

To Never forget. 

fuccbois.

[seanstarkk-blog]

What to Feel?

I found my people, but I’ve only interacted with them when the school year is almost done. I don’t know, I’m a bit in the emotional state last week and after their graduation, I don’t feel anything. I really know that even if they always say that they will not forget me and not just be a name in the pool of names they have, I know I will be. And it sucks. It sucks so bad that I can’t do anything about it.  I can really see it now, they will move forward and I am stuck here. Alone again. I’m used to this anyway, I’m used to mingle with people that don’t really have the same wavelength as me. Ha, I wish I met them early in my life. But maybe that’s how life can be, it gives you only a short amount of time to enjoy the enjoyable things, to appreciate more the importance of time. Agh, I just want to say I freaking miss them. I miss my senior friends, they are real and genuine, and I learned a lot from them.  I just miss them. Shit. I miss them. I’ll miss them.