HAZE & GLORY

whiskey was his friend, he didn't have another, vicodin his vice, his real and only lover, smoked a pack or two, it never was a problem, popped a pill or two, they really made him blossom. ( EST. SEPTEMBER 2013 )

[sorgenfri-deactivated20110824-d]

Mother, I tried, please believe me. I’m doing the best that I can. I’m ashamed of the things I’ve been put through. I’m ashamed of the person I am.

Ian Curtis, Isolation. (via abrahxmsdaughter)

[seaofinflictionarchived]

barelyspeaks.

He speaks, but Daxton zones in on the cigarette. Quitting was a lot HARDER than she originally intended. She felt as though she wanted to crawl out of her skin and hide inside of a ditch, it was agonizing but also interesting how much something as silly as that can impact her. It makes her think, especially after what he says to her. ❛ Uh… ❜ Daxton trails off, eyebrows furrowing. She searches her surroundings before landing her gaze onto a newspaper stand just a few feet away. The girl lifts a finger, signalling for him to wait there, as she quickly pads over to the stand and purchases a women’s magazine with an ODDLY vulgar title about orgasms. She flips through a few pages before coming to a picture of herself sporting trendy plus sized clothing, she then hands the magazine over to him. ❛ Maybe y-you know me from there ? Or – other magazines and stuff. I’ve d-done a few. ❜

He keeps taking slow pulls off his cigarette, watching the girl as she glances around and tells him to stay. His eyebrows pull together, watching her making her way to the news-stand and making her way back over to him with a magazine held in her hand. At this point, he thinks he must’ve chosen a strange person to interact with. When she hands him the magazine, he studies it for a moment, then grinning. “As much as I appreciate the gorgeous picture of you, s’ not where I know you from. Pretty impressive bein’ in a magazine though. You look good.” He furrows his eyebrows still, however, studying her again because he knows her. “Mind if I ask your name?”

[seaofinflictionarchived]

“I....know you,” he says slowly, a cigarette hanging from his lips, making it a bit mumbled. He’s not entirely sure what makes them familar, but he knows them. They say someone’s eyes never change, or he remembers someone telling him that once. Due to this piece of knowledge ringing through his mind, he’s trying to meet their eyes and see if it jogs his ever-so-cloudy mind.

[bmmsmg]

but by far my worst habit is not being able to stop loving you

inkskinned

[inhalcyon]

@seaofinfliction.

Birds sing around them, the warmth of a mild Manitoba summer simmering like a comforting, corporeal presence. Things have been calm, normal, and they’ve developed some kind of routine here in between the sporadic returns of Capella’s mother to their lifelong home he’s now somehow taken up a semi-permanent residence in. Staying in one place for too long always makes him feel so stagnant, and despite the circumstances of this particular pause in his timeline, it’s not really any better. He wonders what part of his galaxy-mind craves wide open spaces so much; craves wandering and fluidity and ever-changing environments. It’s reminiscent, he thinks, of what an addict might feel like. His body is a physical force craving something he can’t give to it, and his form of a hit might come with consequences just as bad.

Capella does not want to be someone who abandons people anymore.

Sunlight is eclipsed by a stray cloud, casting partial shadows over his countenance as he bows his head slightly, the rough wooden planks of the porch they’re sat on an uneven texture beneath his fingertips. He runs them back and forth, legs crossed, and he thinks. Thinks.

“We should be doing more,” he says, finally settling on a way to approach the one conversation the air around them seems to be pregnant with. It’s the proverbial elephant in the room. “For you.”

[seaofinflictionarchived]

The idea of home has always been foreign, and he wouldn’t quite call this place it. Because Jared could never find home between four walls. Home isn’t made of plaster and plywood. It isn’t the place you sleep, take showers, and eat. To him, home has become who he sleeps beside, who helps him take showers when his brittle body won’t let him stand on his own two feet. And it’s weird to him, finding home within Capella. It’s weird, letting him care for him because he can’t care for himself anymore. He feels like he holds the other hostage, but there’s some form of stockholm syndrome that’s formed between them. Jared would call it holding him hostage because he knows Capella’s being begs him to leave this place they’ve found refuge in. He knows he craves change the same way he himself does. But he is weak in a way that he couldn’t push himself to give Capella what he craves, no matter how hard he tries or how much he wants to. It would kill him.

Stupidly, he still holds a cigarette between his fingers, watches the smoke billow from the end, dissipate into the open air. One of many bad habits he can’t kick and will probably carry to his grave. He presses the filter to his lips and happily breathes in the toxins.

“Like what?” he deadpans, not even settling his gaze upon the other. “What are we supposed to do? I haven’t got any fuckin’ money, I doubt you have the money for that shit either. Gonna get me on that natural remedy shit? No. It’s useless, Capella. There’s nothing to do but wait.”

[inhalcyon]

every1 tell @seaofinfliction to return to us. jared? ICONIC.

[seaofinflictionarchived]

bcbylon.

she turns around quickly to where the voice was coming from and she’s taken aback slightly “—yeah, i got one.” she finally says as she fishes in her purse for the box of cigarettes, “they’re menthol if that’s alright with you” abella offers them out to the male.

he merely shrugs his shoulders and takes a cigarette from her pack, popping it between his lips. “thanks,” he tells her as he pats his pockets, searching for his lighter-- found it. “menthol is alright, can’t really afford t’ be picky nowadays y’know.” he lights it. 

[reeceklng]

[seaofinflictionarchived]

“please tell me ya got a fuckin’ smoke to spare? i’m dying for one.” you can probably tell he’s dying for one without him telling you either; bloodshot eyes, dishevelled appearance, even the smallest twitch of his fingers. 

[charlichunnam]

[lnternetkid]

[diego-baerrueco]

[pregamingthepregame]

[seaofinflictionarchived]

he’s approached the other without a hint of hesitance, lifting his head when he reaches them to look at them, and he may have made a point of subtly checking them out as well, “ you got an extra smoke on you? and maybe like ten dollars? but that’s just a bonus, i’d gladly just take the smoke. ” there’s a kind of lazy grin pulled upon his lips as he speaks.

[inhalcyon]

necessaryocthings:

which oc claims they’re chill but they’ve never been chill at all their whole entire life

[jezebelrevival-deactivated20120]

[blossomfully]

The truth is I miss him,” she said. “But I’ll swallow poison before I admit it.” “And I can hardly stand the silence between us. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be the first to speak.”

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #165 (via prxserpine)