[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

Mandela stones were asked for and therefore they were done. And yes, that is the toothpick for size next to them lol #patience #relaxesme #rockpainting #rocksofinstagram #mandelas https://www.instagram.com/p/B64xoNPJwgRb4OvGZjD1EwOtTZzsCflJmn5q0w0/?igshid=1vldpv11sa522

[thepersonalquotes]

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

#truth

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

I'm starting to get in the Holiday Spirit!!! Rock painting & ornament making!!! ☃️🎄 https://www.instagram.com/p/B42w-d4pH4sLE_AC_OpXs8tkuRLzqkncbLD-900/?igshid=1nmuwnqnmtvy6

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

Today was a cold but beautiful day! https://www.instagram.com/p/B40XJBfpTFvvVlToFnPyX2dtqy0QZ4C-QUl7AA0/?igshid=ssexayomo0yw

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

When you spent your Saturday picking apples, and every day since sick, then you make apple pie at 11pm when you feel better. Apple crisp is in the oven now. #homemade #apples #applepie #burstofenergy https://www.instagram.com/p/B3YcZKupM8XqCEGMOjHV9byY4infU8B8gzg1sY0/?igshid=1apo66snhusx

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

A New Day

5 years. It's been 5 years since I signed my life away. I never thought that when I signed that piece of paper, my life would become the way it is. I stood there, on an alter before family and friends and pledged my vows before God and all. So full of hope and love. So full of big dreams. He had fought for me for 13 years. It had taken him that long to get me to say yes. To reach a point where I trusted that forever was possible and he would cherish me above all else. That the vows wouldn't be just words and that our life together would be all that we had dreamt it to be. I was foolish. Foolish to believe that happily ever after was even possible for us. Now here we are. 5 years down the road. The weekend of our anniversary. And where are we? He is laying in our camper. And me? I am once again crying alone. Hurt, angry, and ashamed. Where is the courage I used to have? Where is the strength? I am but a shell of myself. Broken and lost. Searching for I dont know what. Maybe the courage. Maybe the strength. Maybe I'm searching for just an outlet. I dont know. But, I do know, I am searching for myself while searching for something. In all this hatred, fear and loathing, I am searching for the woman I used to be. The one who wasnt afraid to stand up for herself. The one who had the courage to fight back. The one who had the strength to stand on her own 2 feet. For I am tired. Tired of living a life that is a lie. I am tired of the angry words. The sneers, the judgements, the lies. I am tired of the cheating, the finding of his mistresses clothes. I am tired of the aches from broken bones, the cowering when hes angry and thinking hes gonna do it again. I am tired of covering for him, to make sure the image he holds so dear does not break apart. Of lying and smiling so all who know him think of him in a good light. I am Tired of hiding myself. I am tired. And so today will be my new day. I will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. It may not happen fast. It will take time. But I will rise up. And I will find myself and all my old attributes once again. I will no longer be quiet and just take it. I will begin my journey on this road of discovery. And I will not just take it anymore. It is a sad day when you hear the final breaking of your heart. But tomorrow will come. A new day full of hope, full of dreams. I will begin my journey towards peace. I will begin the search to find myself again. I will fight back in my own way. For I am done.

[thepersonalquotes]

[thepersonalquotes]

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

This speaks to me...hmmm....

[thepersonalquotes]

[searching4somethingbutidkwhat]

🖤