Sebastian Moran @sebastian-moran-uk - Tumblr Blog

TEXT: Jim

Dress nicely, I’m taking you out someplace. Wear your favourite tie pin as well.

Pritemps en France. Spring in France.

Dear Jim,

Spending time with you in France has been exceptional. Typically, our days are numbered in bullet casings and empty bottles of bourbon. Adventure becomes us, and adrenaline is the blood that runs through our veins - it still is, and it still does, but now there is a new dimension. I have to confess, I have fallen in love with you and I am a ardent slave to the emotion. It only strengthens our bond together, making us incredibly invincible to the rest of the world.

When I see you, James, the colors of the world go grey around you. You’re the only color that I see. Like following a mark or a target, you garner the best of my attention. Your fears of emotions are not unfounded, but you are quite right in understanding that I am not going allow anything to justify the grip I have upon you; and likewise, you have upon me. We are criminals of a new caliper, and there is little else in the world I care for as I care for you. You are not a means to survive for me, and yet ... you are. I can live on my own, but I fear I could not survive without your dry expressions and cool gazes.

You’ll have to forgive the sentimentality of this letter. I blame the fresh air of spring in France for rushing emotions back into the shell of my heart that was previous filled with bourbon. When we are on an adventure, such as we are about to embark on in meeting with Patenaud soon, my adrenaline rushes in a surge. It’s a high, one that I can’t find in anything other than being intimate with you. When I hear your breath rasping my name against the bed sheets, I feel that same tsunami of adrenaline come over me.

I confess also that I find you more beautiful than the world below us. But this is where my gushing sentimentality ends and I drink this awful green juice that you and Kat are some unfortunately fond of and keep the emotions of being close to you churning under the surface of scruffy facial hair, flannels and eyeglasses that you seem to enjoy so much.

For me, you are it.

Yours, Sebastian Moran

#mormor #bas.love #bas.jim #mormor letters

moriarty-uk

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The beast in me sleeps oh so peacefully…

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On the neighbour's farm, James reminds me why he's a vegetarian. Why love both but eat one? Because flavor. (It's cute though. I guess. I'm not living on green juice though.)

Country dogs. James and I went out to a local farm to check out their produce. The dogs loved it and are now disgusting.

French outdoor market. It's a little chilly today but all in all, this feels more like holiday than business. Please, monsieur Patenaud. No rush.

What am I doing with my life? Good god.

Sometimes the countryside is so boooooring. (And sometimes it's utterly beautiful.) it all depends on one's vantage.

A Letter to James Moriarty

(In response to this letter)

James,

I received your letter and found comfort in your words. I want to share my perspective of this precipice that you and I are living on, what it means to me and how I view it. I think the word love is too small a sensation for the momentum of what is running through me, when it comes to you. I think that the sentimentality that is associated with the word love makes it dour to me; sucrose like an old sweet that has started to weep the sugar from it. There is nothing of value for me in something that has expectations connected to it.

There are no expectations between us, there is simply an understanding. I do love you, in fact, but it’s more than just the giddy silliness of the word itself. I wish to protect you from the storms of your mind. I wish to enjoy the sunshine of your brilliance. There is a stark dichotomy to your persona, we both know this. There are days of endless sunshine and nights of enduring darkness. I am not ignorant to them, nor do I dismiss them because they are very much a part of the man I love. We weather them together, just as you weather the drama I’ll sometimes get caught up in with showgirls and mobsters that I steal from. There are no expectations other than devotion.

I know there are times when the road is uncertain. To be honest, those are the times that I like best because the adventure of life is shared between us. Before this culmination of feelings came between us, and I hate to describe it as feelings since that’s such a disgusting word to use, I was always intrigued by your nature. You shortchange yourself on some aspects of your personality, but you are always in full control. It’s something that I have always respected in you. I respect your tenacity, your honesty with me, your mind and your purpose. The world is based on a range of colors; not all things are cut and dry, good and bad, evil and virtuous. We dance the in-between, which is the most beautiful place of all.

I don’t know what the future may hold, but I can tell you with little hesitation that I anticipate that you’ll be there with me. I’m not going anywhere, nor do I have the desire to look for anyone other than you. I think, before I even realized, it’s always been you. I couldn’t possibly devote my time and energy to something that wasn’t James Moriarty. You’re the Gustavo Dudamel to the orchestra of my life. From the fugues to the peaceful chamber music, there is a range that we live in. Where you go, I will follow. And where you falter, I will steadfast. There is no February 14th, there is no expectation. Just this.

And the hunting lodge sometimes.

Ever yours, Sebastian

#mormor #bas.jim #bas.love #bas.letters

Making breakfast for Jim and myself. His brother will be in town tomorrow and I'd like to enjoy one last day of touching him without being interrogated. He makes me whole, though I'd never tell him outright. I'll just tell him with this petite déjune vegetarian.