So in March, I quit the X.men boards I was at, but remained at two servers out of a sense of obligation. Last night I sent the admins of both this message:
"Hi there, I know this is a big thing so a quick response certainly isn’t needed/expected. But I was wondering if we could work towards a plot in the future—doesn’t need to be the near future either—that includes Shaw’s death in the server canon? I just feel increasingly disinterested in continuing to be in the Marvel/X.Men fandom, and I want to eventually disconnect from…everything. But I also don’t want to just drop him ASAP and leave, I’d like to play out our stories to the fullest first. Even if it takes six months, a year, more. That’s fine. I sincerely want to fulfill my commitment to this server and get the most out of doing so, and have a great time with the people here, not just up and vanish one day at random. But since I also do want to eventually go, I’d like to do it on a good note that helps the story out. Can we plan something like that? Again, does not need to be immediate at all."
Both of them agreed to plan something with me. My goal is to see it through to the end, then leave the servers and this blog as well as my Haven, my multi, and the Tumblr RPC entirely. I just really can't take the bad feelings anymore; I think the L//ourdes retcon was the nail in the coffin even if I rode it out initially. I don't know when that will be. Server plots can take a long time. Of course, I may just snap and leave here sooner. Speaking of snap, this wasn't a snap decision. It's something I've been considering hard since last year. I love you guys and you bring me a lot of joy, but that joy is increasingly outweighed by frustration, anger, and despair, and that's just ridiculous for a comic book roleplay hobby. I've gotta get out. And it's not today, even if tbh I kinda want it to be rn, but I wanted to give you notice before starting anything new with me.