Nineteen years old. Student at Hailgrove Academy. Majoring in Philosophy and Political Science (for law school). The middle child. So, that's all the boring things you need to know...
I’m not being catty, just honest Sebastian. Done what Bas? What were you supposed to do?! You had Finals to deal with, you were out doing other things, and other people. Did you expect me to just pick up the phone, providing you would answer, and just say “Oh hey Sebastian, guess what, I’m pregnant, and I would really love it if you would come to the hospital with me on Thursday afternoon, 3pm, if you aren’t busy, because I’m going to get an abortion, because what the fuck else am I going to do?” Hmm?
I could have at least done something. You could have come up to my dorm and told me. I would have listened. Jesus, you act as if I'm heartless, like I'm a sociopath or something. I would have done whatever you wanted me to do.
No we can’t. Besides. You would never want to live in hiding with me for the rest of your life. I don’t know. Just not that, maybe? Nothing fits the mood. Nothing is going to fit the mood. How the fuck could it?! Well it should be. I handled it, Bas. That’s all you need to know. I just wish you hadn’t been MIA last week is all.
I was joking, no need to get all catty about it. We've established this. If you had maybe, I don't know, told me you were pregnant, I might have actually done something about it.
Well what are we going to do Sebastian? Our parents know we had fucking sex. It doesn’t matter, that I’m in love with you, and you were in love with me. All they’re going to see, is that we had sex. How much we’ve shamed them. I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do. I… Fuckass? Really Bas? That’s what you want to call me right now? I can’t even… It’s all I want. But probably the worst thing I could want too. It isn’t important Sebastian. Just forget it.
She’ll just see it as another way that I corrupted you. And seeing as I have nothing to lose, I’ll take them blame 110%. Papa probably won’t look at me. At least now I know why he’s been avoiding my calls and emails. And why my trust account card isn’t working. Also, on the threat thing? Yes I would.. But I.. Shut up. …ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! You don’t think I know this? You don’t think that I have been over and over everything in my head ten million times? I can’t believe you. You selfish, inconsiderate prick. But don’t worry. I fixed the ‘problem’.
Just shut up for a second, we need to talk this through one step at a time and neither of us are cooperating. Most importantly we need to discuss what we're going to do when they get here. How was I being inconsiderate and selfish, fuckass? I just didn't want to even think about you going through all that pain just to have a living dead child. I just want to hold you right now, but that's probably the opposite of what you want. And how's that?
Okay, okay, I’m sorry. You did made a mistake. But a huge one Sebastian. One that could ruin both of our lives. Mine more than yours. Because at least you’ll always have Mama. She’ll overlook this, for you. But Papa… He’ll be done with both of us. And you know it. Plus, that wasn’t an empty threat. I watch CSI. Little happy place?! Do you really want to know what I’ve been dealing with in my little happy place? The fact that I may be pregnant, because I was a complete idiot and didn’t use a fucking condom the same day that I had forgotten to take my pill. Still think it’s a happy place I’ve been in Sebastian? Calm doesn’t even exist in my world right now. It hasn’t ever since we…
I honestly don't think Mama will overlook incest. She's not that liberal. Yeah, she won't disown me like Papa probably will... but that doesn't mean she'd ever look at me the same way or even forgive me. And on the threat thing, you wouldn't. You're too much of a pussy. A really tasty pussy. Wait, what? What the. Actual. Fuck. You have to like, I don't know get an abortion. That's fucking inbreeding. It would have all these mutations. I can't fucking be a father. You can't be a mother. You have to get rid of it. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I cant think straight.
Sebastian felt like trash. Lower than trash, he felt like dirt. Reading through his and Alexis’s messages from a couple days ago, and realizing how incredibly stoned he must have been. To be honest, he didn’t remember any of it. He must have blacked out or something, because all he could remember was sitting at his computer, pants down, waiting for something. Oh god, he was disgusting.
Although, the entire past few days were finally starting to make sense. Alexis wouldn’t talk to him. His room had been wrecked. And some mysterious package had come in the mail, that he was entirely too scared to open.
Acting on impulses, he pulled out his phone, pressing on the contact that said Alexis Smythe, with his index finger. It was no surprise when it went to voicemail. She probably wanted nothing to do with him.
When the tone sounded, he started,
“Hey, um, Alexis! This is, uh, Sebastian. I just called to apologize, for that night and, well, everything.” He sighed, hating himself for being the cause of yet another apology. “Oh my god, I was really rude to you and I made you feel uncomfortable and I’m so sorry. I-i I woke up the next day with a hangover, my room was a mess, glass everywhere, yada yada. Basically, you’re not dumb. You matter. Your opinions matter. I shouldn’t have quoted them on that, I’m sorry.”
The night came flashing back to Sebastian, jerking off and flashing twisted smiles at Alexis’s replies of discomfort. Sitting outside her dorm, singing and knocking, when he went upstairs and exploded with rage, throwing everything. Knocking pictures off walls and smashing beer bottles on the ground. He was just glad that Katie hadn’t been around to see it. “Fuck, just please call me back or come see me. Or you can just send me a text telling me to get lost, I understand. I’ll take anything. I just need some sort of communication.” Sebastian was desperate, he had probably just ruined his relationship with his sister and he wanted- so bad- to mend it, “Okay, I have to go. I lo-“ There was a beeping noise, representing that he had reached the limit in his voicemail. He glared at his phone, “-ve you.” Sebastian practically spat at it, throwing it onto the bed, before reconsidering and throwing it harshly against the wall, regretting it when he saw a crack appear. “Shit.”
Alexis;
She hadn’t left her room in nearly two days. She didn’t have any reason to. She simply lay in bed, just like now. She just felt.. Dead. Hunter would bring her food, and leave it by the door, knocking twice to let her know it was there before leaving her alone. He had long given up trying to figure out what had upset her so much. Her room was a state of despair, things thrown everywhere in anger and hurt, her laptop now sat with a large crack down the middle of the screen in the corner of her room after Sebastian’s last reply, empty vodka bottles strewn around it the most random of places. But she just couldn’t bring herself to care.
Hearing her phone ring out with the beginning bars of ‘Glad you came’, Alexis squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore it until it finally went to voicemail.She didn’t want to hear how much he hated her, she couldn’t bare it if he asked her to go and ‘ride him into oblivion’… She had no idea what to do.
The soft chime of her phone alerted her to the fact she had a voicemail and without thinking too much about it, she pressed listen. It was the cut off ‘I love you’ that hit her the hardest, and she curled up, sobbing again. She had thought there were no tears left, but clearly she was wrong. It hurt. She hurt. And it was all because of Sebastian. He wouldn’t stop hurting her, he couldn’t. She knew him, his ways, his values, beliefs.. They weren’t going to change for her anymore than they would for somebody else. But she had to tell him she wasn’t dead. It was funny, how she could hate him so much, but just want him to be happy. It was so confusing and tormenting, but she just couldn’t stop. Picking up her phone, she pressed speed dial one, setting her phone on speakerphone and placing it on the pillow next to her head.
Sebastian;
As soon as he heard his phone ringing, he ran across the room and hit the ‘Answer’ button. Forgetting all about the crack across the screen. “Lexis? Lexi? Lex?” He caught himself before he got too carried away, readjusting his grip on the phone, so he could start picking up pieces of glass off the floor, because he would most definitely need a distraction during this phone call, “Are you okay? You got my voicemail, right?”
Sebastian shut himself up so that Alexis could talk, throwing the pieces of glass into a cardboard box.
Alexis;
“I think I died and went to hell actually.” Alexis said horsely, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. This was the Sebastian that she loved, the one that cared about her and worried for her. She just kept telling herself that she had to put up with the other version of him to get this one. Nothing came easy in life right? “I got your voicemail.” she added monotonously, curling herself into a small ball while she tried to muster some semblance of normality to her voice. “Why can I hear.. Glass?” she asked gently, forcing herself to just be normal, even if she felt cold, empty.. Hurt. She would act normally, and then she would feel it. Because didn’t they always say, ‘Fake it till you make it’?
Sebastian;
“Fuck. I’m so sorry. Je suis tellement désolé. Please don’t forgive me, but please just accept my apology.” Sebastian choked, focusing himself back onto his distraction, picking up more glass. He hated seeing, well hearing, Alexis like this. Especially if it was his fault. Most of the time he would go into overprotective older brother mode, but at times like this, he just sat there, feeling helpless. “Yeah, I’m, uh, picking up my mess from that night.”
Sebastian moved over to his bed, gathering everything in his comforter and dumping the contents onto the floor. He sifted through more glass, some new and used napkins, and surprisingly a few empty bottles of pain relievers.
He put the phone on speaker and set it down on his nightstand, so that he could open up a trash bag. “Je t’aime?”
Alexis;
“Ne vous excusez pas, ce qui est fait est fait” Alexis murmured in reply, biting her lip to hole back a small whimper. “Bien sûr, je vous pardonne” she added, cursing herself. He would know for certain that she wasn’t okay now. Whenever Alexis shut down, whenever she couldn’t deal with what was going on around her, she fell back on french, it was a telltale sign she knew he would probably realize. A sign that hadn’t occurred since she ended up in France with him after her accident. And that’s when she realized with a start that she felt the same way she had then, all those years ago. Lost. Alone. Hurt.Scared. Squeezing her eyes shut, Alexis pinched the bridge of her nose, pushing it all back down. She couldn’t think about it, not without him. He was the only person that had brought her back from her self-imposed social exclusion, she needed him. But this version of him, her version. The one she tried to pretend he was all the time, but she had to force herself to see it wasn’t true. “Je t’aime Sebastian.”she replied flatly, unable to muster any feeling except pain, but she was so well trained she couldn’t let that show. Letting out a long sigh, she knew what she had to do. “Venez me voir?”
Sebastian;
Sebastian had known he had hurt Alexis, but he mustn’t have realized exactly how much he had hurt her. His heart fell to his stomach when he heard her change into the French dialect. “Alexis. Breathe.” He bent over to pick up another piece of glass, accidentally slitting the back of his hand open. He hissed, pulling his hand back, the cut was small so he decided that the glass had felt kind of good like that anyway. Realizing how crazy that sounded, he pushed the thought away, “Yeah…I’ll be down in a second” Making her translate his English so that she wouldn’t completely shut down.
He threw the piece of glass that had cut him into the box, picking up his phone so that he could wash his hands in the kitchen sink.
Alexis;
She knew what he was doing. But she couldn’t breathe. It hurt to breathe, to talk, to think. And it was stupid and crazy but it did. It hurt. “Je suis.” she replied softly, hearing Sebastian’s hiss and automatically worrying for him. It was sick, the way she let him keep hurting her and she still cared, worried for him. “Sebastian, ce qui s’est passé? Êtes-vous blessé?” she said hurriedly, glad to feel some sort of emotion that wasn’t pain, even if it was only worry.
Sebastian;
“Yeah, no. I’m fine. Just let me grab my jacket and I’ll be down.” Sebastian shut the water off and rubbed his fingers over the mark, he was pretty sure it was done bleeding, so he just left it as it was. Staying on the phone with Alexis while he threw on a light jacket and grabbed his keys. Running down the steps as quickly as he could. Knocking on her door as soon as he reached it, taking a step back, as though she would disintegrate if he got too close. “Hey, Baby.” He drawled, worry dripping from his voice.
Alexis;
“La porte est déverrouillée chérie.” Alexis replied softly, curling up against the wall in bed, she shut her eyes, trying to take deep breaths, leaving her phone where it was on the pillow beside her, pulling her comforter right up over her shoulders like it could protect her from everything that was happening around her. She wished it could. She wished the thing that had always protected her wasn’t the thing she needed protecting from. She didn’t even know who he was sometimes, and it frightened her. She couldn’t.. She didn’t want to think.
Sebastian;
Sebastian opened the door, worry creasing his face. He took in the sight of her bundled up on the far side of the dorm, he stepped towards her slowly, “Am I allowed to touch you?” Sebastian’s hand was hovering over her form, he wanted to grab her and pull her close and tell her how sorry he was, and that he would never do that to her again. Tell her all sorts of empty promises and nothings. That, in the end, wouldn’t help the situation, so he stopped himself and sat on the edge of her bed, silently.
Alexis;
Opening her eyes, Alexis looked at Sebastian with a blank, vacant stare, nodding. “Bien sûr.” she murmured flatly. It was the first time she had seen him in days, since before he had been outside her door singing stupid show tunes and it did nothing to ease the sharp ache in her heart. Holding her arms out to him like a small child, Alexis stared. “Viens ici.” she whispered, feeling like her heart was breaking all over again. Why was he like this? Like two different people, the smallest thing setting him off, like he was.. Oh no.. The realisation hit her harder than anything else had and she felt the silent tears running down her cheeks. He couldn’t be. Looking at Sebastian with her still blank stare, she knew she couldn’t bring it up now. She just needed this version of him, for right now that’s all she could manage.
Sebastian;
He reached out a hand to caress her arm, gently; pulling her into a hug, “You seem off. What’s wrong? You know other than the fact that I uh-” He cut himself off.
Feeling Alexis in his arms brought back more of that night. The feeling of anger surging through him, like he could overpower anyone. Aiden, Eli, even Hunter. That feeling of jealousy, that horrible feeling of wanting to be the center of attention. The feeling of manipulation. Like he could get whatever he wanted if he chose the right words or actions.
Sebastian snapped out of it, his hands, which had been balled into fists, relaxed and he had to pull himself away from Alexis.
Alexis;
She felt, for a split second, safe in Sebastian’s arms. It stopped hurting. And as she opened her mouth to answer him, he pulled away. Looking at him, a hurt expression flashed across her face, before it was replaced with her blank mask. It was happening again, already. She hated it, hated this. Her bottom lip trembling, Alexis reached out and took one of Sebastian’s hands pulling him closer to her. “Je dois vous dire quelque chose…” she paused, forcing herself to speak English, to appear somewhat composed. “And I want you to listen. Don’t say anything, don’t get angry, just listen. Because i’m scared, okay?” she murmured, her voice shaking. She couldn’t let this lie any longer, she had to try and fix this. Fix him.
Sebastian;
Sebastian felt a little calmer after Alexis started speaking English again, but her words troubled him. “I promise. I promise I won’t get angry.” He made no promises actually, in his head he knew very well that he could still get angry and nothing would be able to stop that. But he moved over to sit as close to Alexis as he could, regardless. Placing a hand over hers and smiling at her reassuringly.
Alexis;
Alexis bit her lip, threading her fingers through Sebastian’s and giving him a soft smile, moving so her legs were resting over his lap, restricting him from moving too far. “You know I love you. I always will.”she started, smiling up at him softly. “But i’m worried about you. And I think.. I think maybe you should go and talk to somebody, because i think you.. You might have Bipolar Disorder.” she managed, tightening her grip on his hands. There. She had finally said it. It had been bothering her for awhile, his mood swings and random outbursts, it all pointed to this. She had even gone as far as asking her lecturer a few things about the disorder, so if the time ever came, this time, she would have all the facts. “Please don’t be mad. It isn’t anything to be ashamed of Bas. It’s just, the mood swings, how volatile you are at times.. I just want to help you. To get this checked. And if i’m wrong, thank god. But if i’m not.. ” she trailed off, scanning Sebastian’s face for a reaction, any reaction. Preferably a good one, but she knew it was unlikely. He was going to get angry, she could tell, god if he had brought this up with her she would be livid. She needed to help him, she needed her Sebastian. And she would do anything and everything to get him back.
Sebastian Smythe;
Sebastian shot her a look, she couldn’t be serious. Nothing was wrong with him. He was perfectly fine. He was hot. He was amazing. He was perfect. He was invincible. And then that surging feeling of anger came back and he felt like pummeling Alexis into the ground, which he knew full well that he was capable of. “I don’t need to see anyone. I’m not deranged. I’m normal. You’re the one who should be locked up, bitch.”
Sebastian didn’t mean any of it, he knew he was being defensive, he felt like punching a wall or hitting someone. His own sister was afraid of him. His own sister thought he was crazy. Sebastian told himself to just get up and walk away, before he hurt anyone. But then he felt himself pinning Alexis beneath him, “I’m stressed. Sex?” He paused not waiting for her to answer, “Sex.” Then his hands were moving up under Alexis’s shirt and pulling it off.
Alexis;
Feeling herself pinned underneath Sebastian, his hands sliding her shirt off, was definitely not how she had expected this to go. Especially ten seconds after he had been yelled at her, telling her she was the one that ‘should be locked up’. Sighing softly, Alexis raised her arms so Sebastian could easily slip her shirt off, before placing her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. “I love you. And nobody is taking you away from me, or locking you up. We are going to finish talking about this.” she said softly, seriously, before pressing her lips urgently to his, wrapping her arms around his neck, removing his shirt with one hand and practiced ease. He needed this release, and to be honest she needed to feel this close to him again. Tilting her head to deepen their kiss, Alexis didn’t let herself think too much into it, she couldn’t. It was then and now, it was them, and they needed each other more than she had ever thought possible.
Sebastian;
Sebastian nodded eagerly at her words, drinking up all the positive attention he could. Their lips crashing together, he kissed her roughly and enthusiastically, letting his shirt be pulled off without a fight. He bit his lip to hold back a moan, he had expected Alexis to push him away or become stiff, but knowing that she actually wanted this made him just that much more lustful. Sebastian tilted Alexis’s head so that her neck was open to him, and began pressing harsh, but sweet, kisses along it, murmuring meaningless nothings alongside a few ‘I love you’s and ‘Don’t leave me’s.
Alexis;
It killed her inside, hearing Sebastian murmuring such sweet nothings, knowing that this was the Sebastian that she had fallen in love with, the one that was so, so, amazing. And that it was also the Sebastian that was in denial that there was anything wrong with him. Stop. She just had to stop. Stop thinking and simply feel, feel the lust and possessiveness that was washing over her, feel Sebastian’s lips on her skin, his hands, his breath.. Just feel. Pulling Sebastian’s face back up so their lips met once more, and she reached between them, undoing his pants easily, pushing them down as far as she could without letting her lips leave his, not needing to do the same for her own pants because all she had been wearing was his lacrosse shirt and her underwear.
Sebastian;
Sebastian pulled away just long enough to step out of his pants and throw them across the floor, then he was back at Alexis’s lips trying to drink in as much of her as he could. Without a second’s hesitation, he brought his hips down and began to grind up against his sister. He felt no shame, if anything he felt proud. Like a little kid who came home to show their mommy a picture they had drawn, or a cat who left a mouse at their owner’s door just to show them how much they appreciated their humans. Not perfect metaphors, but true enough. To put it bluntly, he was hard for Alexis and he felt a sense of pride in showing her that.
Alexis;
Arching her back so as much of her was pressed against Sebastian as possible, Alexis bit her lip, holding back a moan as she felt him grind against, feeling him against. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck she pulled him down, mashing their lips together in a mixture of lust, need and passion. It was crazy and wild, unplanned, but it was so perfect. It was just how he showed his feelings, and maybe it was starting to rub off on her a little bit.
Sebastian;
The grinding and kissing was all too perfect. Sebastian felt like, no matter how close they were skin-wise, they would never be close enough. That feeling of wanting to melt into someone. He pulled away from her lips to press gentle kisses along her chest and stomach, no specific pattern to them. There was no specific order he was doing things, he didn’t have it all kind of planned out in his head, like last time. It was all based on pure feeling this time. Whatever felt right.
Alexis;
The way it felt, it was perfect. The tiny kisses Sebastian placed all over her body, his breath breezing across her skin, his hands feeling.. Everywhere. It was amazing, reckless, and so in the moment. An hour ago, had anybody told Alexis she would be having sex with Sebastian at some stage during the day, she would have punched them in the face. But this was better than before, they weren’t overthinking, it wasn’t his first time with a girl.. It was passion, lust, need. “Sebastian.. Just.. Fuck me.” Alexis breathed, looking down at her older brother and rolling her hips against him, smirked. “Please.”
Sebastian;
Sebastian panted against Alexis’s skin, eyes dilating at the command. He was already painfully hard and wasted no time in standing up to throw his shirt across the room and free himself of his boxers. “Gladly.” He muttered, a wicked grin flashing over his features. He pumped his fist over his length a few times before lining himself up with Alexis’s entrance, and beginning to push himself in- inch by inch. Sebastian threw his head back, she was so incredibly tight and it didn’t take much for him to start moving his hips, steadily. Occasionally pulling himself nearly all the way out and slamming his hips back down into hers.
Alexis;
Moaning at the feeling of Sebastian inside her, Alexis threw her head back against the bed, all thoughts of responsibility and the rest of the world gone. It was them, then and now. And nothing had ever felt better. Rolling her hips to meet Sebastian’s thrusts, Alexis panted softly, the pleasure of having him inside her was so filling, so amazing nothing could ever beat it, nobody could beat it. Pulling his face down to hers, she pressed her lips to his in a passionate, wild, messy kiss that was rushed but showed the lust, their need to escape, the perfection of the bubble they were in. “You..Are way.. Too.. Good at..This..” Alexis moaned breathlessly, arching up against Sebastian, unable to be quite close enough to him.
Sebastian;
Sebastian met her kiss and grinned cockily at her words, he knew that this would have been a great stress reliever. He would’ve made an arrogant comment in reply but the heat pooling in his stomach held him back. He fell forward, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. Thrusts becoming erratic. Breath coming in gasps.
Something in the back of his mind was telling him to pull out. To take a step back and do what he needed onto the floor. Or maybe even Alexis’s stomach. But he wasn’t really in the mindset to be reasonable and was soon coming hard into Alexis, filling her. He moaned exhaustedly, milking himself through his orgasm.
Alexis:
Alexis arched against Sebastian, his erratic thrusting driving her into a sensory overload. “Bas, God…” she moaned, panting slightly as she clung to him, peppering kisses along his jawline, shoulders, kissing any skin she could reach. She knew she should tell him to stop. To pull out. But that part of her mind had been switched off, silenced by the intense pleasure she felt. And then it was too late. As Sebastian came, Alexis felt him inside of her and immediately climaxed, moaning his name loudly, before slumping somewhat exhaustedly onto the bed. “Woah.”
Sebastian:
Sebastian pulled out, melodramatically throwing himself down to become dead weight on Alexis’s chest. “You’re so soft. And tasty. Like peanut butter.” He mumbled dumbly into the skin on her neck, relishing in the smell of sex and sweat and the smallest hint of perfume. “I’m so amazing.” He paused, “You’re okay.” Sebastian chuckled into her skin. Knowing that he was probably restricting Alexis’s breathing ability, he rolled over, cuddling into her side.
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