Sebastian's Den of

Music man, if you dig it then well that's dope.

[sebbysenpais]

I've been feeling suicidal and if I need remind you It's not becoming of my heart and my brain I was thinking about how great it would be If I could make the tightness in my chest go away

It's been a while since I've seen God and I'm not trying to lead him on But he's always trying to fuck me to the tune of my favorite song

And they're playing the '59 sound in heaven While the angels were drinking up whiskey and cokes It's hard to freeze your anxieties When your best friends torching your coat, your coat

Drop that phone, drink a glass of water And call me when you get in your bed I've seen inside your head and I'm doing The surgery on the parts that still wish you were dead

'Cause I've lost too many friends so I'll say it again And again and again and again and again and again and again and again

I'm not trying to say it's easy but I'm trying to say it's fine I've still got your demons and they're not gonna be leaving any time

Any time soon

I'm not trying to say it's easy but I'm trying to say it's fine

[sebbysenpais]

[sebbysenpais]

Hey friend, I haven't seen you much It's my fault, I've been so out of touch New club? No, you go on ahead Old blood, I'll dance when I am dead When I'm dead I'll dance when I'm dead That was a killer show Makes sense to take it on the road Not me! I can't afford the risk You tour, I'm on the mailing list Go ahead I'll tour when I'm dead I don't know what else to say I don't know what else to say Maybe I'll get to it someday I see myself at 94 Spare dreams stuck on life support No wait, if that's what lies ahead I'll change or put it off and dream when I'm dead I don't know what else to say End all my thoughts the same way: “Maybe I'll get to it someday” I've been so drunk on safety I think I'm going crazy Don't want my ghost to hate me Time's running

[sebbysenpais]

[sebbysenpais]

I can't make sense of it We're intimate, we're intimate, we're not into it Babe, if it's a game, we've got no skin in it I don't know which one of us is winning it No, I'm not upset We can't expect to always hold each other's interest No, let's just look at pictures on the internet Are you sleeping yet? You'd never want to look again You'd never touch another man But if you even say you might It gives me such a... never mind That wasn't what I meant Everything is fine, sometimes I just need to vent It isn't what I feel, it's just a sentiment Just momentarily, temporarily permanent You'd never want to look again You'd never touch another man But if you even say you might It gives me such an appetite Oh, bad body, don't bother me no more It's in your head, it's in my head, already wed, already dead Would you stretch us to fit the bed if loneliness is up ahead? I'm full of shit If I got my way I couldn't deal with it My tolerance for novelty is limited Anyway, my confidence can't take the hit Make the best of it We'll collect our pensions and our benefits Love is like a job that you can never quit Forget the rest of it

[sebbysenpais]

Heard everything on the first floor Where they said you were rushed From your front door So please tell me where Ran up the stairs in a heartbeat Where I read off your name from a time sheet So please tell me where What an awful curse to see you at your worst So come home now (I'm not fine, I'm not what I say I am) (I've lost hope, I've lost hope in everything) With your tiny frame I swore I'd block the pain So come home now Lost everything with a mistake Thinking back all the times that you had faith So please tell me where If I could stand up taller than the tallest of the trees Would you treat me like a big brother? I gave you all the time I had But you wanted more, I did my best so why bother?

[sebbysenpais]

[sebbysenpais]

Waiting for you is like waiting for a life time. Hours go by and I’m so anxious that I want to die. Is my shirt on right? Is my smile looking bright. I wanna be anything that catches your eye. Do I look nice? Eyes I want to meet. Lips I want to feel on me. Would you believe me if I said I was out here in the cold rain, I wish you were with me. Should I take the bus because there are no trains? I don’t want to stay at home. I’ve been here for days. How do your lips taste? Do you feel the same? Do you feel the same way? Do feel the same way about me? The more and the more that I fall in love, the more and the more that I turn into a dove.

[sebbysenpais]

Life is a mistake. We’re throwing the towel in Everything I hate is fighting me back again. Lying down awake, I found in you The means to fall forward, to say that I’m sorry Laughing at the way I tell the truth And I whittle down the days to lies for you But when do I escape this hell that you sold me? Because the little things we stay for always seem to change I whittle down the days, I whittle down the days Nothing I can say, it’s the lie, it’s the lie I fear Get out of my way, it’s the truth, it’s the truth my dear. Everyday we can die old in this town Means any second I will stop feeling young now. I don’t know what I do when I’m by myself. Well any second of the week I’ll be found out.

[sebbysenpais]

The first time Adam knew that he was naked, In a moment of dream-like embarrassment he runs behind a tree; And then you popped out screaming from your mother’s womb And watched your parents fall out of love consequently. Because your dad didn’t find her beautiful anymore, And your mom was sick and tired of the long nights waiting up. But you feel like its all your fault; So it seems like the only way around it is to kill yourself So you stand on the edge of the river bank and contemplate the world when you’re gone, and everyone gets along You feel naked and ashamed but you can’t run

[sebbysenpais]

I am a rose. I rose from the ground. One day, I will die. I will fade without a sound. Never found. And the world will move on. You will forget my songs. And the home where I belong Will fade with the dawn. Dawn, dawn, dawn. My petals they will fall, like teardrops through the air, But the earth always absorbs the colors that we share. And we will share. The messages that I am sending are disbelief suspending. But this song is never-ending, and I am ever-bending. When one tree falls, it sinks into the earth. And then the energy disperses, for the new plants’ birth. In reincarnation, there’s no soul. No continued mind. Energy spreads and then combines. And with death, comes life, comes death, comes life. It happens all the time. And the world moves on, Singing the same old songs. And the home where we belong is reborn with every dawn. Dawn, dawn, dawn.

[sebbysenpais]

There’s tiny worlds inside your mind and your fingers are a distant sky that you shove into your mouth to block the whole sun out. It’s better than living in the light. To die over exposed so you fight and that’s alright. You’re harmless in your mind. You’re formless in the night. And that’s alright. What do you think is going right in your life? What can you know about life if you’ve never died? You think that the world is alright but that’s a lie ‘cos we’re afraid to die and that’s alright. Where is the action? Where are the streets that take you to bed? What is your name and what do you do here? We have the same thoughts clouding our heads. Formless shapes in the darkness. We are as harmless as the thoughts in our heads. Drinking poison and chewing on concrete, burning holes in the sheets on our beds. And we think that the world is alright and that’s a lie.

[sebbysenpais]

When we were younger / I promised you the world / and as we grew / I found myself carrying just that upon my back / and I kept thinking I would crack / but you, you are / so intelligent and lovely / and I would still / give you anything, anything you want / I’ll build it in-between our palms / with my own blood / my own sweat / my own love and death / everything I am, as little as it is belongs to you / just as it always did and as you lay me down / upon the bed / it smells of roses / my time with you / means more than everything / your smile / your eyes / the way you softly sing to me and I / was only wanting you to stay for the rest of our lives / all the midnight talks and silly things / we laughed about for seasons / breathing nothing but the love you never felt for me / and now I hear the ambulances distant in the night time / I feel nothing but you next to me / the warmth of fire aside / and broken glass sounds just like chimes / my glossy eyes see just your silhouette / and I know that everything will be ok / you’ve always been my greatest friend / and even though I’m on my way / I hope you know my heart will never change / everything I am / as little as it is belongs to you / just as it always did / and as you lay me down / upon the bed / it smells of roses

[sebbysenpais]

Human relationships are as complicated as human beings themselves, and it’s not always possible to actually name the »status« of this. It is a balancing act of wanting to know what this is, while not wanting to take away the tension as you’re trying to get to know someone. Pure rationality may not always be that satisfying, after all.lyricsDon’t wait, it’s all on us. Alles nach dem selben Muster. Forget the rest is easier done than said. Schon ein paar Mal durchlaufen, I’ve been here before. Or has it been the two of us? Until the day we give it a name. Until the day we stop giving it a chance. What’s our status? What’s the name for that feeling? Run twice as fast, get half as far. Until the day we gave it a name. Until the day everything stopped

[sebbysenpais]

[sebbysenpais]

The sound of your heart is wired to break. Too fucked up to love, but too soft to hate. The hum of your lungs is my favorite thing and the air you shove out into my mouth. I’ve always felt stuck, alone or ashamed. The gutter’s too tough, the stars are too safe. I’m always that kid always out of place. I try to get found, but I’ve never known how. I’m tracing the lines on your handsome face, the scars on your arms, the shape of your veins. We are not alone. We are not mistakes. Don’t whisper now. We’re allowed to be loud.

[sebbysenpais]

Relations with no complications. Well, they fall out. You'll want the one that hurt again. Then I'll have a new one but I'll want the old one, then I'll go out. I'll drink some drinks and get drunk. That won't leave me very much at all. That will leave me next to nothing. The ride home is straight through the window, is straight… fuck. The road's closed. The easy way is out again. Then I'll want the old one, but she'll have a new one. Then I'm done. And I know I'm alone again, because I'm too fucking proud, but I wanted to say I'm sorry